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Please Don't Say You're Sorry: An Empowering Perspective on Marriage, Separation, and Divorce from a Marriage-Loving Divorce Attorney
In Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry, marriage-loving divorce attorney, Nicole Sodoma shows up with empowering advice to help you sustain a real and happy marriage, recognize when that’s just not possible, and know what to expect and do from there. What’s more, she does it with a generous dose of humor to remind you that you can and will laugh again.
When marriage-loving divorce attorney Nicole Sodoma ended her thirteen-year marriage, she found herself seated in a symphony of sympathies and quickly began to question why people say “congratulations” when we marry and “I’m sorry” when we divorce.
There’s no denying that divorce sucks. You've invested years in a relationship. Then it what feels like the blink of an eye, everything has changed and you are faced with more resolution options than New Year's Eve. The journey can be wholly overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Choice will be your ally.
As the child of a blended family of divorced parents, a now "unmarried" woman, and a veteran family law attorney, Nicole Sodoma knows divorce. In Please Don't Say You're Sorry, she serves up both humorous and decidedly unfunny realities of marriage and divorce alongside empowering insights for finding your way through either. From hard truths about the unintended consequences of ending a marriage to relatable tales from divorces past, Nicole's communication style will help you feel deeply understood as you try to render those seemingly impossible decisions.
Whether you are looking for advice on how to better your marriage, are considering separation, or find yourself knee-deep in divorce, this book has something for you. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and now you’ve got a badass no-holds-barred divorce attorney by your side.
When marriage-loving divorce attorney Nicole Sodoma ended her thirteen-year marriage, she found herself seated in a symphony of sympathies and quickly began to question why people say “congratulations” when we marry and “I’m sorry” when we divorce.
There’s no denying that divorce sucks. You've invested years in a relationship. Then it what feels like the blink of an eye, everything has changed and you are faced with more resolution options than New Year's Eve. The journey can be wholly overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Choice will be your ally.
As the child of a blended family of divorced parents, a now "unmarried" woman, and a veteran family law attorney, Nicole Sodoma knows divorce. In Please Don't Say You're Sorry, she serves up both humorous and decidedly unfunny realities of marriage and divorce alongside empowering insights for finding your way through either. From hard truths about the unintended consequences of ending a marriage to relatable tales from divorces past, Nicole's communication style will help you feel deeply understood as you try to render those seemingly impossible decisions.
Whether you are looking for advice on how to better your marriage, are considering separation, or find yourself knee-deep in divorce, this book has something for you. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and now you’ve got a badass no-holds-barred divorce attorney by your side.
253 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 24, 2022
15 people are currently reading
5903 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
January 6, 2026
"Happiness is relative" -- Theory of relative happiness. Often when this theory is explained it comprises of comparison with other's situations. But comparison (at different times) with one's own state can also explain this theory well. Certain beliefs that life's gonna change/will stay the same forever once we achieve some goal or have some individual in our lives.
Nicole Sodoma in her novel Please Don't Say You're Sorry has explained the same thing in the field of marriage, separation and divorce. There's no getting around the fact that divorce hurts. You've been in a relationship for a long time. Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changes, and you're faced with more resolved possibilities than on New Year's Eve. Although the trip may seem stressful, it does not have to be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. The choice will be your ally.
Every chapter contains "The Tough Questions", "Technically Speaking" and some powerful quotes.
"'Sorry' is meaningless unless you know why you are apologizing. Do all you can to avoid reinforcing victimhood and getting caught up in the rinse-and-repeat cycle of assuming the blame for everything."
The author's professional and personal perspectives combine to create a one-of-a-kind guide to surviving divorce and navigating the emotional rollercoaster that follows. This book has something for everyone, whether you're looking for advice on how to improve your marriage, considering separation, or are already in the middle of a divorce.
You might like to wander through a few artistic journals — they’re full of sparks and surprises.
Nicole Sodoma in her novel Please Don't Say You're Sorry has explained the same thing in the field of marriage, separation and divorce. There's no getting around the fact that divorce hurts. You've been in a relationship for a long time. Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changes, and you're faced with more resolved possibilities than on New Year's Eve. Although the trip may seem stressful, it does not have to be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. The choice will be your ally.
Every chapter contains "The Tough Questions", "Technically Speaking" and some powerful quotes.
"'Sorry' is meaningless unless you know why you are apologizing. Do all you can to avoid reinforcing victimhood and getting caught up in the rinse-and-repeat cycle of assuming the blame for everything."
The author's professional and personal perspectives combine to create a one-of-a-kind guide to surviving divorce and navigating the emotional rollercoaster that follows. This book has something for everyone, whether you're looking for advice on how to improve your marriage, considering separation, or are already in the middle of a divorce.
You might like to wander through a few artistic journals — they’re full of sparks and surprises.
May 25, 2022
Nicole's book provides a unique and insightful perspective on marriage and divorce - with both personal and professional knowledge and experience. I highly recommend it to anyone preparing for or seeking to accomplish smooth family transitions.
May 24, 2022
While the author is clearly an experienced family law attorney who knows the law, this book was far from a legal lecture. It was like having a conversation with an old friend (a friend with some great stories to tell!). The author's insight from both the professional and personal perspective creates a unique guide for how to survive a divorce and understand the rollercoaster ride that comes with it. I highly recommend this book for anyone struggling with the decision as to whether divorce is your next step, going through the process, or who has been through the process and wants to read some war (and love) stories from someone who has seen it all.
June 14, 2022
The fascinating thing I found while reading Please Don't Say You're Sorry by Nicole Sodoma is that this book isn't just for those going through a divorce. It is for those struggling with their marriage, wondering if separation or divorce is the right choice. It is for those whose friends or family members have divorced, and you're wondering what you should say or do. She uses cases from her business to illustrate how divorce affects the lives of everyone it touches. One of the most powerful statements she makes is that when people divorce, they aren't divorcing the same person they married. People evolve or change, and it isn't always for the best. This book came while struggling with watching a family member get a divorce. I didn't even know there was a problem. The author is real: and you feel her message is caring, and she has a desire to help.
May 24, 2022
I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of this book and I couldn’t wait to leave a review! This has great advice for all stages of relationships - whether you’re thinking about tying the knot or untying it. The tone is light and conversational while also being informative. Would recommend time and time again. Additional bonus? My official copy was delivered today and the cover art is gorgeous!
June 2, 2022
Tips: ‘You are the only one in your way’ ‘You control you and only you’- Superb advice!
North Carolina author Nicole Sodoma earned her degree from Cumberland School of Law at Samford University and is a Family Law Litigator, Certified Parenting Coordinator, and a Certified Collaborative Law Attorney. She is the Managing Principal and Founder of Sodoma Law in Charlotte, NC with offices in multiple other states. Nicole is a nationally recognized authority on divorce and family law, honored by major media sources (Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, USA Today, Women’s Health Magazine, etc). She is assisted in the writing by ghostwriter Joscelyn Duffy.
Meeting Nicole Sodoma (and the feeling of actually being present with her in conversation is precisely what this book creates!) is refreshing on every level. She is obviously highly skilled in her profession as an attorney, but she is equally adept at communicating her thoughts and advice in an entertaining and supportively enlightening manner. Early in the opening remarks, Nicole submits her précis - “I attempt to answer many questions about divorce In this book, drawing from my vast library of wild and crazy stories, which I’ve gathered while growing up in a blended family of divorced parents, enduring my own divorce, and representing clients who have experienced every circumstance imaginable (and a few that you wouldn’t imagine possible). Despite what you may think about divorce attorneys or the title of this book, I’m not a fan of divorce. I believe that it is possible to be tough, to take control of your happiness, and to still like (or love) the idea of marriage…divorce is about choice…Choice is the one thing you can control....Choice is the reason this book exists’
In a thoroughly enjoyable conversation, Nicole digs into the heretofore controversial subject of divorce, turns on lights, presents many personal and client stories that reveal facts, feelings, responses, and results of the process of divorce, and in the end, places the topic on the spectrum of self-acceptance and the sanctity of making choices. Her advice is legally sound and emotionally supportive and constructive. This is a book for all phases of relationships (e.g., marriage) including YA who are simply speculating commitments. In a word, TERRIFIC! Highly recommended.
North Carolina author Nicole Sodoma earned her degree from Cumberland School of Law at Samford University and is a Family Law Litigator, Certified Parenting Coordinator, and a Certified Collaborative Law Attorney. She is the Managing Principal and Founder of Sodoma Law in Charlotte, NC with offices in multiple other states. Nicole is a nationally recognized authority on divorce and family law, honored by major media sources (Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, USA Today, Women’s Health Magazine, etc). She is assisted in the writing by ghostwriter Joscelyn Duffy.
Meeting Nicole Sodoma (and the feeling of actually being present with her in conversation is precisely what this book creates!) is refreshing on every level. She is obviously highly skilled in her profession as an attorney, but she is equally adept at communicating her thoughts and advice in an entertaining and supportively enlightening manner. Early in the opening remarks, Nicole submits her précis - “I attempt to answer many questions about divorce In this book, drawing from my vast library of wild and crazy stories, which I’ve gathered while growing up in a blended family of divorced parents, enduring my own divorce, and representing clients who have experienced every circumstance imaginable (and a few that you wouldn’t imagine possible). Despite what you may think about divorce attorneys or the title of this book, I’m not a fan of divorce. I believe that it is possible to be tough, to take control of your happiness, and to still like (or love) the idea of marriage…divorce is about choice…Choice is the one thing you can control....Choice is the reason this book exists’
In a thoroughly enjoyable conversation, Nicole digs into the heretofore controversial subject of divorce, turns on lights, presents many personal and client stories that reveal facts, feelings, responses, and results of the process of divorce, and in the end, places the topic on the spectrum of self-acceptance and the sanctity of making choices. Her advice is legally sound and emotionally supportive and constructive. This is a book for all phases of relationships (e.g., marriage) including YA who are simply speculating commitments. In a word, TERRIFIC! Highly recommended.
July 21, 2022
We are in control of ourselves. Happiness is a choice. You should read THE UNSPOKEN SECRET: How to find and keep the right partner by John Gram
July 19, 2022
Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry: An Empowering Perspective on Marriage, Separation, and Divorce from a Marriage-Loving Divorce Attorney
by Nicole Sodoma
I received a complimentary copy and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry by Nicole Sodoma is a book that seeks to inform not just struggling couples, but the entire public, on the importance of appropriate communication in our everyday life. Many people in all kinds of relationships suffer enormously because of poor communication, which results in a disastrous effect on themselves as individuals and also their children. We learn that this is due to an absence of sympathy, empathy, understanding, or even control. As a result, many relationships at different levels are ruined. Drawing from her vast well of knowledge and experience of being a divorce attorney for over twenty years, the author enlightens the reader on the importance of meaningful communication and why we must try to make it happen, mentioning different problems that can arise from non-communication, which include conflict, depression, loneliness, and the rupture of the partnership.
Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry is nicely written with many positive aspects. The explanations are logical, which is very important in a book of this nature where the reader has to understand the point being made to avoid confusion.
The structuring is superb, beginning with an overview of the author’s background and personal experience in this matter. It discloses relevant information and reveals why she has firsthand knowledge. The book covers all aspects of communication in a relationship from marriage, to separation, and if nothing else works, leads to divorce.
“While it takes two to say I do, it takes only one to say ‘ I don’t ‘.
The book covers many important topics, like empathy, self-disclosure, trust, and empowerment. The barriers to healthy communication are identified and treated extensively, including real-life examples. There are no negative aspects, therefore I rate it 5 out of 5 stars, filled with lots of information about communication skills that will benefit all. I recommend Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry to anyone that wants to improve their communication skills or who is struggling with the difficulties surrounding the drama of separation.
by Nicole Sodoma
I received a complimentary copy and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry by Nicole Sodoma is a book that seeks to inform not just struggling couples, but the entire public, on the importance of appropriate communication in our everyday life. Many people in all kinds of relationships suffer enormously because of poor communication, which results in a disastrous effect on themselves as individuals and also their children. We learn that this is due to an absence of sympathy, empathy, understanding, or even control. As a result, many relationships at different levels are ruined. Drawing from her vast well of knowledge and experience of being a divorce attorney for over twenty years, the author enlightens the reader on the importance of meaningful communication and why we must try to make it happen, mentioning different problems that can arise from non-communication, which include conflict, depression, loneliness, and the rupture of the partnership.
Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry is nicely written with many positive aspects. The explanations are logical, which is very important in a book of this nature where the reader has to understand the point being made to avoid confusion.
The structuring is superb, beginning with an overview of the author’s background and personal experience in this matter. It discloses relevant information and reveals why she has firsthand knowledge. The book covers all aspects of communication in a relationship from marriage, to separation, and if nothing else works, leads to divorce.
“While it takes two to say I do, it takes only one to say ‘ I don’t ‘.
The book covers many important topics, like empathy, self-disclosure, trust, and empowerment. The barriers to healthy communication are identified and treated extensively, including real-life examples. There are no negative aspects, therefore I rate it 5 out of 5 stars, filled with lots of information about communication skills that will benefit all. I recommend Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry to anyone that wants to improve their communication skills or who is struggling with the difficulties surrounding the drama of separation.
June 29, 2022
I was given a copy of Please Don't Say You're Sorry by Nicole Sodoma in response of an honest review.
I found this to be an excellent book for someone who may be looking to get a divorce or separation. As I am in a healthy happy marriage the key that I took from this book is communication and self advocacy. As obvious as it should be it's not the case for most couples. Please Don't Say You're Sorry is well written. Nicole Sodoma shares her own experience from divorce as well as her view as a divorce attorney in a straight forward simple way mixed with a little bit of humor. She does a great job leaving names out and respecting those privacy while painting a picture for the reader.
If children are involved and a separation and/or divorce is going to happen this is a must read book. Nicole Sodoma creates a realistic set of steps to help guide you through the process while reminding you that growth comes from the discomfort and most importantly what is best for the children. You need to love your children more than you hate your spouse. "If you ultimately choose divorce, work to create a compassionate one."
Provided is a list of vocabulary to help those going through such an experience understand better. Divorce is a marathon as Nicole Sodoma states several times but it can be a beautiful new freedom.
I found this to be an excellent book for someone who may be looking to get a divorce or separation. As I am in a healthy happy marriage the key that I took from this book is communication and self advocacy. As obvious as it should be it's not the case for most couples. Please Don't Say You're Sorry is well written. Nicole Sodoma shares her own experience from divorce as well as her view as a divorce attorney in a straight forward simple way mixed with a little bit of humor. She does a great job leaving names out and respecting those privacy while painting a picture for the reader.
If children are involved and a separation and/or divorce is going to happen this is a must read book. Nicole Sodoma creates a realistic set of steps to help guide you through the process while reminding you that growth comes from the discomfort and most importantly what is best for the children. You need to love your children more than you hate your spouse. "If you ultimately choose divorce, work to create a compassionate one."
Provided is a list of vocabulary to help those going through such an experience understand better. Divorce is a marathon as Nicole Sodoma states several times but it can be a beautiful new freedom.
July 5, 2022
Nicole Sodoma provides practical advice to anyone considering a divorce, and how to prepare for it, the negotiation, and the after divorce realities. While she writes from the perspective of a divorce attorney, the book also offers advice on how to have a happy marriage.
I found some of the parts about the laws in different states interesting. I also thought a lot of her advice was very practical and wise, and should be taught in high schools -- things about how to track your financial health, and how to be sure to track your credit card usage, and not rely on one person to handle all the finances without your involvement. I did find it surprising that she could run a successful law firm, but was not aware of the financial health of the household, or when she did get a divorce, the knowledge to pay her utilities. Again, people need to be taught financial acumen!
I also liked her suggestions on what to say vs. saying you're sorry!
I found some of the parts about the laws in different states interesting. I also thought a lot of her advice was very practical and wise, and should be taught in high schools -- things about how to track your financial health, and how to be sure to track your credit card usage, and not rely on one person to handle all the finances without your involvement. I did find it surprising that she could run a successful law firm, but was not aware of the financial health of the household, or when she did get a divorce, the knowledge to pay her utilities. Again, people need to be taught financial acumen!
I also liked her suggestions on what to say vs. saying you're sorry!
June 29, 2022
I went into this book curious. I am not married, nor have I been divorced; however, I have been surrounded by people who attract failed marriages and divorces.
This book is written from the POV of a divorce attorney, which is super interesting getting her insight. She separates the book into three parts; marriage, separation, and divorce. They flow together well and the book itself is extremely well-written. I liked how it was interesting, and talked about people's experiences. I also liked how she kept reinforcing the fact that you shouldn't apologize for the problems, the separation, or the divorce.
This book is written from the POV of a divorce attorney, which is super interesting getting her insight. She separates the book into three parts; marriage, separation, and divorce. They flow together well and the book itself is extremely well-written. I liked how it was interesting, and talked about people's experiences. I also liked how she kept reinforcing the fact that you shouldn't apologize for the problems, the separation, or the divorce.
August 1, 2022
Please Don't Say You're Sorry: An Empowering Perspective on Marriage, Separation, and Divorce from a Marriage-Loving Divorce Attorney by Nicole Sodoma tackles the tough topics of marriage, separation, and divorce. Using her own personal history of her own marriage and subsequent divorce, Sodoma is a sympathetic voice, writing with a caring perspective. Divorce is simply one of the most difficult things you might have to go through in your life. Often it is not even your choice but your spouse's. This book will definitely help you ride the rollercoaster of emotions that happens during a divorce, both from a legal and personal perspective. Highly recommend.
July 26, 2022
With great wit, fabulous banter and knowledgeable advice this ex-wife and divorce attorney tells it like it is. No matter what stage of the process you’re in here for chapter in this book just for you. I’d love to help personal she made the books seem as if you were visiting and having a cup of coffee with a good friend. This wasn’t an academic read nor a dry advice book but a personal book from someone who’s been there. There’s also a little advice for those who want to stay in the current relationship. I highly recommend this book please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review but all opinions are definitely my own I thoroughly enjoyed this book!
December 24, 2022
I would recommend to anyone considering separation and / or divorce. Even if people are just wondering what it all looks like.
She provided a ton of good questions and items to consider before, during and after.
I would LOVE to see this author write a book about dating and considerations BEFORE marriage. What advice would she give her kids? Her background is very unique and I think her insightful would be valuable to people in this stage of their lives.
She provided a ton of good questions and items to consider before, during and after.
I would LOVE to see this author write a book about dating and considerations BEFORE marriage. What advice would she give her kids? Her background is very unique and I think her insightful would be valuable to people in this stage of their lives.
April 16, 2025
Incredible insight offered by a divorce lawyer! She shares her own experiences and offers education.
June 20, 2022
Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry was not what I expected, in a good way, as it was so much more than a self-help book with a catchy title. I think I was expecting to be preached to about the do’s and don’ts of relationships /marriage, but it was actually the opposite, chock full of great insights. Author Sodoma’s writing style was clear to the point while not being patronising, which is a pet hate from other similar books I’ve read. As a divorce attorney I’m sure she has experienced so many different situations, and it was very rewarding to read her advice based on all of that experience.
This was an engaging read that is empathetic and illuminating whilst at the same time digging into the subject of divorce and other difficult relationship topics.
This was an engaging read that is empathetic and illuminating whilst at the same time digging into the subject of divorce and other difficult relationship topics.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews