How Am I Doing?: 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself

by Corey Yeager, Cade Cunningham (Foreword)

Life is hard. But it gets a whole lot easier when you start to talk it out. In How Am I Doing?, you're invited into a series of conversations with yourself to discover your purpose, honor your story, and explore who you want to be.

Dr. Corey Yeager, psychotherapist to the Detroit Pistons and most recently featured on Oprah and Prince Harry's The Me You Can't See on Apple TV+, offers you 40 questions he uses with his clients to help you raise awareness of your thoughts and emotions and reconnect with who you want to be.

Over the course of these 40 conversations with yourself, you're invited to:


Build trust with yourself
Consider how past traumas affect your life today
Grow a practice of positive self-talk
Let go of stigma and guilt from your past
Develop mental health strategies for what to do in low or anxious moments
Increase your confidence and embrace your emotions
Each of the 40 questions is paired with a short, thoughtful reflection from Dr. Yeager, along with prompts and self-care strategies to help you look at yourself in the mirror and come into alignment with you who want to be.

So join the conversation; nothing is off-limits here. Come check in with yourself and take these small, simple steps to journey toward a more honest and harmonious way of living.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Audiobook, Personal Development, Health, Adult

208 pages, Hardcover

First published October 18, 2022

Reviews

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think some folks will get more out of this book than others. It likely depends on how many self help books you’ve read/listened to.

The author describes his book thusly: “I break down the larger question, “How am I doing?” into forty smaller questions to help you answer that big one. Your number one goal as you read should be to cultivate a better sense of awareness—becoming curious of who you are and how you got where you are. Only then you can start intentionally making better choices for who you want to be.”(pg. xi)

Each chapter asks a question, explains the question, gives examples and then follows it up with a self reflection activity (Tell You Story).

Example of a self reflection exercise: “Think about one area of your life where you feel you’re at the end of a road. As fast as you can, write down ten choices you could make that would get you unstuck. A choice that would help transform a negative space into a positive one. A choice that would allow you to escape a place that’s bad for you. A choice that would bring power back into your locus of control. Even if these hypothetical choices feel irrational or impossible, just for this exercise, I want you to entertain what could happen.” (pg. 62)

Example of a question and the followup questions: “What makes you feel alive? You can get clues by tuning in to your physiology throughout the day. When does your heart rate go up? When does your energy spike? When are you fired up? In the zone? Let’s use the frame the players gave us too. When do you feel the most in control? The most focused? When do you get to truly be yourself?” (pg. 88)

Sometimes I felt like the examples from Yeager's life overshadow the activity because it became too focused on his experience and detracted from the activity. This may have been merely because our experiences are so different from one another. We are different in a lot of ways: from race, to gender, to our family situation, to our interests. So, take this criticism with a grain of salt. I only did a few of the activities because I’m not much of a journaler type.

I felt the author narrating his own book gave it a more intimate and authentic feeling. The author is a solid speaker and it clearly shows in the narration for this book.

Ultimately, you’ll be the best judge of whether this book is going to fit your needs. I found a few gems and don’t regret buying it during a daily deal sale. I think it asks a broad mix of questions and is short enough it isn’t that much of a time investment.

[Kayla Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t think I was the target audience for this one. It felt a little like a motivational speech, and it might be a good fit for someone who doesn’t know anything about therapy/self-help.

[January · Rating 5 out of 5]

How Am I Doing?: 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself
by Dr. Corey Yeager, Foreword by Cade Cunningham
4h 11m read by the author, 208 pages

Genre: Self-Help, Nonfiction, Psychology

Features: Priorities, Journaling, Boundaries, Academic Goals, Self-Reflection, Black Community, Jewish Culture, Sports, Untruths You Tell Yourself, Your Story, Analogies, Being Coachable, Therapy

Quotes: "Everyone has thoughts and feelings going on under the surface, underneath their awareness. In therapy, we, call this the subconscious. I like to describe consciousness as the front stage—this is where you see the actors per-
forming. The subconscious is the backstage— all the costumes and scenery changes that you don’t see. I want you to tap into what’s going on backstage, in your subconscious."

"So let me ask you again: Who is the most important person in your life? (I hope you answered, “I am.”) How does embracing your role as the star in your own life make you feel? When you’re getting overwhelmed, take a moment to pause and make a plan to protect yourself. Can you say no to an upcoming plan? Can you let the phone go to voicemail? What are some other ways you can put yourself and your needs first?"

Rating as a movie: PG

My rating:🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

My thoughts: 📱34% 1:26:35 Question 14 - This book is great! I'm excited to hear more; it has given me a lot to think about.
📱60% 2:30:07 Question 25 - I most definitely need to write these questions down.

This guy has a good voice. I'm going online to look for his videos on the topics of this book. Put this one on your college graduation gift list.

Recommend to others?: Yes! I will be passing this one on to my husband and family.

https://youtu.be/8Q_TkiAmJt8

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listening to the audiobook is like getting a motivational and inspiring pep talk from a trusted coach. Some of the questions and topics will resonate more depending on your perspective and experiences, but the approach is gentle, hopeful and engaging. This would be a good gift for a student athlete about to graduate or someone starting over after a big life change.

[. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Seems geared towards a specific reader, not for everyone, but has good takeaways about believing in yourself and knowing that you come first.

[Dail Sams · Rating 2 out of 5]

I must confess that I only read about 5 chapters of this book, which may make it unfair to rate it so poorly. I just felt it was encouraging people to be rather self centered. I also felt it was aimed at a younger age group than I am in. Just decided I'd get more out of reading other things.

[rania d. · Rating 4 out of 5]

been feeling out of routine. i turned on this audiobook on libro.fm and deep cleaned my entire apartment and i really, really enjoyed cleaning out both my physical space and my brain. really thoughtfully put together while still presenting ideas on self betterment that are maintainable. and i highly recommend the audiobook, the author himself narrates it and his voice is so warm and heartfelt! loved learning his story from NFL to PhD therapist. whole thing is inspired yet simple. very glad i got into it

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

What untruths are you telling yourself?

What's behind your anger?

What healing do you seek?

What mistake have you learned the most from?

If you could change one experience which one would you choose and why?

What makes you feel most alive?

What do you love most about being you?

[Analie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a fun little book. Detroit Pistons therapist Corey Yeager helps readers explore their lives and dreams with questions like "What are your nonnegotiables?" and "What do you most hope to accomplish in your future?" I found it repetitive at times, but overall a nice tool for reflection.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the questions but most of the commentary around them wasn’t helpful or unique. Much of it felt cliche.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

The answer is: bad.

lol jk but not really. Down pretty bad so any self help book is a good self help book. Some of these questions were very thought provoking and open ended, others were yes or no questions or questions that were loaded for you to answer with “I do” or “me” haha. Nonetheless good book. 2.5

[Jeanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick listen on audiobook - thought provoking questions to help focus your life. I would like to buy the book and do the journaling exercises the author suggests. 5 out of 10.

[Cindy(groundedinreads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Food for thought! It’s always good to reflect on ways to improve yourself.
Thanks to the publisher for my gifted copy!

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the short chapters, each with a story and an idea of how to work the ideas into your own life. I used the book as a prompt for my morning journaling, which I would recommend. Sometimes I'd read a chapter and not feel very connected to it until I started writing afterwards. Letting the pen flow would bring out connections that perhaps the author wasn't trying to make but they helped me, so that's a win for me!

[Rosie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated Dr. Yeager's perspective and his career history is inspiring. His reflections on the impact that well-meaning loved ones have when they make comments about a child's future are really powerful -- especially as it translates into adult pressures to conform.

Dr. Yeager offers some great guidance for walking through the decision-making process. He also offers some opportunities to engage in reflective writing to assess one's place in life and the choices available.

The motivational style used by Dr. Yeager would make this a good graduation gift - especially for those involved in team sports.

Though it is overall accessible, I definitely felt like I wasn't the target audience intended for this book. This is much better suited to younger readers, those who participate in/are interested in team sports, and those who haven't read many self-help/therapy-tool reads.

This is definitely a great first read in the realm of finding a better self, but might be a little more motivational-leaning for those of us who have read quite a few similar books.

[Brianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This would make a great gift for the high school or college graduate in your life. The questions are something that would be important to consider in that transitional "finding yourself" time. However, there is value and something to learn throughout for anyone of any age, at any point in life. If you've done some therapy or work on yourself, you may find some of this is a refresher, or you may gain a new way to approach a familiar topic. I really enjoyed that there was the question with guiding information, followed by a way to think deeper and/or activities to help you get to the root of the answer. A worthwhile read.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Cora · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'll round up to three stars, but this book wasn't for me. This therapist's style was "make a list", "write down", "think of when". That method works wonderful for some people, but that's not the place I'm in right now. I also felt like the book centered too much around the author. You go away knowing that he's a "black man in America" because he states it repeatedly. I think this would be a great self help book for high school or college students, athletes, "black men in America", someone wanting to deeply explore their inner mind and change/accept things about themselves. I also would recommend it to someone contemplating a career or life change. It just didn't resonate with me at this point in my life.

[Natalie White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Corey Yeager provides personal anecdotes to readers as he invites us to ask ourselves challenging questions. He encourages readers to "look into the mirror" and face the version of themselves that they ARE and focus on the version they want to become. Each chapter includes a personal, reflective writing activity to begin challenging your own views to become the best version of yourself.
I cannot recommend this title enough for people who are feeling stuck, or are looking to make a change in their lives.

**I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher, through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review.

[Ellen Wolintz-Fields · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this. Very good. I realize after listening that it is a good book to actually have the actual book and see if he has space in it to write notes and comments. I have no idea if there is a companion workbook to go with this book - but it would be very beneficial if there was one. Highly recommend !

[Anjanette Bartlett · Rating 5 out of 5]

thought provoking

I got choked up a few times as the author invited a look back at my past, where i grew up. The sounds, the rooms and feelings they conjured. Asking myself the question ‘How am I doing?’ Now takes me a bit deeper as I delve in in consideration of more things, experiences and expectations. This was a good read. Heal yourself❤️

[Melanie Schramm]

Great book, great author. Love that he brings in perceptive from a sports lens. Love how real he is and relatable. Also love the way he gives suggestions, tasks, and techniques with each question/conversation he presents. Similar to many other self-help books, but I enjoyed reading it, nonetheless.

[Manuela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uplifting and inspiring book

Short self-help book with simple to understand language and bite-sized chapters . It was an enjoyable read and ideal for when you need a motivational boost.

[Meghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great quick audiobook. Narrator made it feel more like someone telling me a story or an authentic therapy session. Thought provoking.

[Jonathan Karmel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed listening to this. The author is a psychotherapist who has a lot of patients that are black, male, professional basketball players. I think the author's background and professional experience gave this book a markedly different character from a lot of other self-help/psychology books that I have read, that seem to be directed more towards anxious/depressed white people (more women than men) from privileged backgrounds.

The author sometimes uses sports metaphors to make his points, and this book seemed like the practical advice I would expect from a "life coach"; the book does not seem very "psychological." The book is very clear, organized, well written, and in my opinion extremely well-read out loud by the author in the audio version I listened to. I think this book can help people define and then achieve their life goals.

Again, this is different other self-help books that I have read about people with anxiety and depression, which are often geared in a sense towards helping people do less with their lives. These other books encourage people to ruminate less about their past mistakes and regrets, worry less about the future, stop trying to be perfect, and just relax and enjoy the present moment. These other books seem to be geared towards people who feel ashamed of who they are and feel guilty that they are not doing enough, so they spend their lives anxiously expiating.

In contrast, I think this is a book to help people achieve more in their lives. It seemed to be geared more towards people who were not necessarily brought up feeling a lot of guilt and shame, but rather people who are just struggling, without guilt or shame, to figure out how to be happy and to achieve their goals.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dr. Yeager asks some very thought-provoking questions and invites the reader to peel back the layers, and sometimes take off their armor to look at the vulnerable flesh and emotions underneath. Sometimes the speed and action involved in the questions he poses is like he's inviting the reader to jump onto a moving train. If you want to get anything out of this book, it will not be a 'quick read.' If the reader takes the invitations seriously they will have to set aside time to answer the questions that Dr. Yeager poses at the end of every chapter; to investigate their self, their past, their present, and playfully plan their future.
I liked his use of metaphors and analogies. At first I liked his relaxed and conversational tone of writing, but it quickly started to grate on my nerves. Sometimes the writing was poetic and clear, other times it was disjointed and scattered. But the questions remained good ones. I also appreciated how he offers his own story as an example to how we begin to examine and dissect our lives with compassion and pride. His example of sharing the vulnerable parts of himself also helps remove any judgement against readers. He brings himself down a couple notches to show not only his humanity but also how similar all of our experiences are, despite the differences.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

My thanks to libro.fm and Harper Celebrate for an ALC to listen to and review.

Dr. Yeager gave a talk at an ALA Annual, I believe the one in DC in 2022, which I attended and he struck me as a very interesting and intelligent man. I picked up a copy of this book, but didn't have the time to read it (Mt. TBR is a THING, ugh!), so when I saw it offered on libro.fm, narrated by the author, I jumped on it.

I am glad that I did, as it was good to hear his voice, it was almost like an extension of the talk that he gave. It helped to keep me balanced on my less than happy for me commute to and from work every day.

That being said, this is a good book, but might be for those who have not had a lot of time or ability to self-reflect. This is a basic introduction, not a master class. It's not bad, but I felt it was less then what I could have used at this time.

It is always good to refresh the basics, no matter what level you are at, even if it's just to confirm that you didn't mess up the foundational aspects of the topic at hand.

I recommend it for those who need some guidance in self-reflection and for those who would like to go over the basics. This book in no way replaces a mental health professional and it does not profess to do so, but it is a good tool in the mental health/clarity tool box.

3, solid and helpful depending on what you need, stars.

[JP Leonardo · Rating 5 out of 5]

In "How Am I Doing?" by Dr Corey Yeager, the realms of fitness, personal growth, and travel intertwine to create an inspiring journey of self-discovery. Dr Yeager's holistic approach shows how fitness enhances mental well-being while travel fosters personal transformation. The book's practical exercises and engaging style make it an accessible guide to positive change.

The book's standout feature is its connection between fitness and personal development, demonstrating how taking care of our bodies positively impacts our overall well-being. Equally compelling is the integration of travel as a catalyst for growth, as Dr Yeager shares how exploring new places leads to profound transformations.

Applying the book's teachings, I can attest to its transformative power. "How Am I Doing?" has helped me align my fitness journey with personal growth goals and opened my eyes to the enriching impact of travel. I highly recommend this book to all seeking a path to self-improvement—it's a concise yet profound guide that can spark positive change in your life.

[Claudia Cheyne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like to start the new year out by reading a self help book. While browsing the library shelves, this one looked the most interesing. It was an excellent choice! The author gave great advice which he followed up with actual incidents taken from his own life experinces or from people he helped in his family therapy practice. The final chapter of the book was especially touching because he talks about the deaths of his beloved father and sister and the difference it made when he was able to speak openly about an impending death versus struggling to make sense of something that no one could talk about. The purpose of having these one-sided conversations is to stay in touch with yourself. In the end Yeager tells the reader to "produce a blanket of grace to lay over yourself" which will allow you to move forward and to "find happiness from loss, beauty from chaos and sadness." It is a quick read, well worth your time.

[Stanjay Daniels · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was refreshing to hear from a Black male psychotherapist, especially one working with a major sports team like the Detroit Pistons. His reflections on both his personal and professional experiences—particularly his childhood and academic journey—were enlightening. I really appreciated the book’s structure: each of the 40 short chapters is framed around a specific question, offering thoughtful insight and sparking meaningful reflection. These questions are timely and relevant—not just to ask once, but to revisit throughout life as part of an ongoing journey of self-awareness. I also liked that the author narrated the audiobook himself, which added a personal touch. While the content wasn’t necessarily groundbreaking, it was still powerful, timely, and definitely worth the read.

[David Petersen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this book. It is really designed to be read. The reader is supposed to stop and reflect regularly throughout the book. There were some good questions and reflection points but overall I just thought the book was OK. I'm sure it would have been a different experience had I read it. The author was the reader. He has a great voice but it was a little to "smooth" for me. I found myself losing focus and my mind wandering as he read. I was supposed to reflect but that isn't really what I was doing. I would have done better with a more energetic reader. The book was OK but it really didn't move my needle