How to Meet Your Self: The Workbook for Self-Discovery

by Nicole LePera

Most people are stuck living life on autopilot. Are you ready to break free?

At the root of all healing work is awakening consciousness, a process of shining light into the darkness of the unknown. In recent years, Dr. Nicole LePera has become the leading voice in psychological self-healing, helping millions of people around the world rise out of survival mode to consciously create authentic lives they love.

In her first book, How to Do the Work, Dr. Nicole offered readers a revolutionary, holistic framework for self-healing. Now, in How to Meet Your Self, she shares an interactive workbook designed to help every reader uncover their Authentic Self. By objectively and compassionately observing the physical, mental, and emotional patterns that fill our days and create our current selves, we can more clearly see what we do not wish to carry into the future.

We all fall into conditioned habits and patterns--products of our past--that lead to cycles of pain, stuckness, and self-destruction. But as Dr. Nicole shares, we also have the innate ability to awaken to and change the behaviors and habits that no longer serve us, allowing us to step into the highest versions of ourselves. And as you work through this book and witness these default habits, from sleep to movement to eating, through emotional reactivity and core beliefs, you will never again have to ask: "but where do I start?"

How to Meet Your Self is a revolutionary guide, a kind and encouraging companion, and a comprehensive masterwork of self-understanding that will radically transform your inner work and outer world.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Personal Development, Health, Audiobook

256 pages, Paperback

Published December 13, 2022

About the author

Dr. Nicole LePera is a Holistic Psychologist who believes that mental wellness is for everyone. She evolved her more traditional training from Cornell University and The New School to one that acknowledges the connection between the mind and body.

Dr. LePera views mental and physical struggles from a whole person perspective and works to identify the underlying physical and emotional causes. She understands that balance is an integral part of wellness and empowers individuals to heal themselves, supporting them on their wellness journeys.

Dr. LePera founded the Mindful Healing Center in Center City Philadelphia. She recently expanded her work online creating a platform for teaching these often overlooked components of mental wellness to individuals and practitioners around the world.

Reviews

[C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really love this author's advice on Instagram and was so excited to read this. Unfortunately, this book wasn't as helpful to me as the author's incisive videos and posts on social media. I'm not sure why, but I think it's b/c the book had a lot of breathing exercises and yoga-like advice...and it felt less like the author's voice on social media.

If anyone else reading this feels similarly, I recommend, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Julie Smith. That's easily my favorite self-help read this year.

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Update. Originally left review above on December, and it's now March and I've since read LePera's first book, How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self, and that book is one of my all-time favorites. If you read my original review and felt the same, give the author's first book a try--and then perhaps see how this second book is basically just the workbook for that first book. After delving further into my mental health, I've found the book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker very helpful. That book helped me realize that a lot of the advice that LePera gives in her workbook is similar to recovering from CPTSD, and I hadn't understood that when I first read this workbook--expecting it to be more of an explanatory book, instead of a "workbook." So...some of my confusion with this book was more my fault about not understanding what recovery for self-discovery really looked like.

[J.W. Griebel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A more focused and grounded work than the book it is intended to accompany. A lot of the practices involved are meditative and comtemplative in nature, which was a struggle for me at first. Throughout the years I've often dismissed meditation as silly or pointless because it never seemed to work for me. Something I was not open to, which was a disservice to myself and others. As I've spent the last few months increasing my therapy sessions to 2-3 times a week and really digging in and trying to understand myself rather than just talking and using sessions to process, it's become clear that a lot of my struggle is how often I dissociate--and how often my trauma tries to work against any change I attempt to make.

Sometimes it feels like wading through molasses. It took me weeks of practice just to successfully clear my mind and meditate for 5 minutes, because each time I tried, disturbing memories and invasive thoughts would flood my mind in an attempt to prevent me from doing something unfamiliar. I understand now how much the brain actively works to stay in the familiar, no matter how difficult or painful it is. For me, that familiarity is grief, humiliation and fear. Each time I attempted to meditate, my brain would flood with images of people I have lost, people I fear losing, people I miss having in my life, times I've felt ridiculed and alone and unseen. It wanted me to return to that familiar state of grief and shame, no matter how painful it was for me to experience, because it's what my brain was shaped around all the way back in my early childhood, due to things I experienced. But I kept up with the book. And though it took nearly 2 months, I did finish it, and aim to return to it after I have worked through a few more of the workbooks I have. I'm grateful that my therapist was patient enough to walk me through some of the more difficult aspects of how my brain works and why it was so difficult for me to just sit and relax, why every attempt to feel safe and secure led to my brain being inundated with terrible images of things that have caused me so much suffering.

I'm hoping Dr. LePera continues in this direction with her future work, focusing more on the work itself than anecdotal experiences, as she does have a knack for combining different systems in a very helpful and cohesive manner. I will say, I do not believe this book would have been half as useful had I not had a decent understanding of psychology and a great therapist for guidance, as Dr. LePera tends to skim over topics without addressing the potential outcomes/experiences you may encounter when actively trying to work against the learned trauma responses of your mind and body. These are best used as companion books with actual, professional treatment, not as materials to try and solve it all yourself, as the author suggests.

[Brittany Schryvers · Rating 5 out of 5]

How To Meet Your Self is incredible. Working on Meeting Your Self can feel really scary at first...though with the support of this workbook, it truly makes doing my inner work actually super inviting and approachable. It's pages are so colorful and alluring. Just flipping through the book gets me excited to work on my self. It's truly amazing how this book breaks down complex concepts and topics in such easy and understandable ways. There are so many amazing practices given in this book. I am so grateful I have this workbook where I can return to it's pages anytime to help support me. I love adding emotional regulation tools to my toolbox and this workbook has given me even more practices to help me. Dr. Nicole even utilized QR codes for special practices to pull up on your phone. How cool is that!? Highly recommend this workbook!

[Rafael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Started reading How to do the work by the same author... will probably re do this review with new eyes. That other book was frustrating with magical thinking.
----- original review below---

Very good one. And it is a written workshop. Now the remaining thing is to do the actual work.

[Ana Dias · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a 3,5. I started this workbook last summer and have been on and off with it. I found it very difficult to be consistent with it as some parts are very very detailed and to some I didn’t relate to or knew how to approach it. It is good to get into the habit to write about what is on your mind loosely. Maybe I should have started with the authors first book and not this one. Has practical advice and checklists for reminders that I have saved for when needed.

[Maegan Dougherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always love her content. This workbook is excellent. Explored so many different parts of myself and highly recommending to clients already.

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this very helpful! I really loved the meditations throughout and would have loved even more. I will benefit the most from this if I go back and actually refer to some of the advice in here to make sure I’m consistently implementing everything!

[Kerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a life changer for me. After decades in a high-stress workplace, I took a sabbatical. I wanted to detox from the pressure and discover myself and what makes me happy. But I wasn’t sure how. My husband gave me this book, and I immediately made if my new job, tackling an small section, an exercise or two a day. I did it at my kitchen table, a nearby cafe, or with a small dog in my lap. I filled an entire Moleskine and emptied three whole pens. This was “the work,” and I learned so much about myself.

The book is organized beautifully, as “snackable” content that’s easy to understand and find inspiration in. You explore so many facets of your self: how you are in your body, your ego, your inner child, your future self and on and on. The journal prompts helps you uncover what drives you, what you value most, and how you operate in the world. So fascinating! It’s not a planner or a goal setting book. It’s something you can go back to time and again when you feel you’ve lost your sense of self or when you’re itching for something new. It may also help you understand the people in your life and how to engage with them, too. Plus, it’s really fun!

Gif yourself the gift of this one.

[Mohammad · Rating 4 out of 5]

کتاب ملاقات با خود از اون دسته کتاب‌هایی بود که فکر نمیکردم انقدر باهاش ارتباط بگیرم. توی دوره "بیش‌یادگیری" خودم به بخش خودشناسی رسیدم و این کتاب رو تو طاقچه دیدم و اصلا فکر نمیکردم اینقدر تاثیرگذار باشه. یکی از مزایای این کتاب، این بود که در کنار ایده‌های جدید و بکری که داشت؛ ایده‌های قدیمی که هممون شنیدیم رو هم به بهترین شکل ممکن جا انداخت.

ولی خب، اون بخشی که یه کم منو پس زد، چند صفحه کوتاه مربوط به جملات تاکیدی بود. کلا با ایده قانون جذب و جملات تاکیدی به شدت مخالفم و حتی همین چند صفحه کم هم باعث شد یک نمره از پنج نمره مربوط به کتاب تو ذهنم بپره.

در کل، ملاقات با خود یه کتاب قابل‌تأمل برای هر کسیه که دنبال خودشناسی عمیق‌تره.

نمره من: ۴/۵

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Workbook of activities. Compiles a lot of useful practices, journaling prompts into one book. The nuts and bolts of self care. Lots to think about. Good reminders. Great for those starting a self journey. Some of the colors/text were low contrast, so I could see someone with poor eyesight having trouble reading this book, but I could read it ok.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️ 4.5

I started reading this book almost a year ago and did most of the exercises, they were helpful and I’m going to get back to this book constantly.

[Taylor Mabry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always 5 stars for her writing

[Adriane Stairhime · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading this book in December of 2023! 🤯 It took me a while to really work through this content. I also just finished How To Be The Love You Seek by Dr. Nicole LePera last month, and honestly, I’m going to miss these pages… but these books will now proudly sit front and center on my book trophy shelf, serving as a daily reminder that the tools I need are not only within reach but are already highlighted too. 😄🩵

[Lu Ribette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Following on from "How to Do The Work", Nicole Lepera's 2nd book "How to meet yourself" goes more in depth about some of the themes and topics mentioned in her first book with more journaling prompts as well as tools and practices to guide you through your own healing. At the start of the book, Nicole suggests getting your own notebook to go through the journaling prompts and reflection questions but there is also space to write down in the book directly. It feels very interactive as we get to read the lessons or teachings and then we're able to go straight into "doing the work" through the various prompts, questions and practices.
As someone who has been passionate about self-development for years, has read many books on it and is also a life coach, I still found that, with the way the book is organized, I got clearer on some of the concepts I was already familiar with. It was also very interesting to answer some of the prompts and questions for myself and realise that healing is linear and there is always something new to discover about yourself, your conditioning or the stories you tell yourself. However, this time, we're given the practical tools or step by step to release these stories.

[ꪖ᥇᥇ꪗ · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all, I want to thank Dr. Nicole LePera for making this great work accessible to the world. My only regret is that I didn’t consume this work of art through pages. I listened to the audiobook, which was exactly what I needed in this moment of my life. This was more of a guide and workbook over a leisurely personal development read. Within the first few minutes I was running to get a pen and paper to take notes. I truly think everyone in the world can benefit from the knowledge shared in this book. To understanding your emotions more deeply, to having emotional resilience, to forming deeper connections, to most importantly, finding your authentic self. Everyone wants to know their purpose in life. I believe everyone needs guidance and with these tools you’ll most certainly be more equipped for a more enlightened future. Although I have 15+ pages of notes, I will be purchasing this book so I can enjoy it over and over, for the rest of my life. Do yourself a huge favor, give yourself the best gift and just dive in!

[Meep · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is written from a very privileged viewpoint and misses the experiences of those outside of that.


Also I listened to the audiobook and the recording is frustrating because it just reads the page numbers written in the book and also reads the tables word for word. So a template that has six rows of five columns means that the same five words get read out six times

[Megan Bowden · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought both Nicole's book and workbook at the same time and decided to read the book first and do the workbook second. In doing it this way, I personally felt the book was much more insightful and helpful. The book chapters went deeper into the topics than the workbook, and therefore much of what was in the workbook was kind of a glossed over review of what I had already read.

As for the actual writing prompts in the workbook, it was a mixed bag for me. At times, I thought there were honestly insightful questions that made me sit and ponder things about my inner self, but 50% of the time I felt as if the questions asked were really basic, geared towards people who had never been introspective at all before. As a completionist, it was really difficult for me to be okay with skipping over these, but as they grew in abundance, I got to be okay with it.

Therefore, I would say this workbook would be more beneficial to people just starting out on their self-acceptance and understanding journey than someone who has been delving into these topics for awhile.

[Şule A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kitabın içeriği: Kendiniz hakkında birçok açıdan farkındalık kazanmanıza yardımcı olmak için kullanabileceğiniz bir çeşit meditasyon kitabı. Kitap boyunca yazmanız gereken bir sürü bölüm var. Bazı kısımlarda kitabın söylediği talimatları uygularken dinleyebileceğiniz QR kodları da mevcut.

Yorumum: Kitabın en başında yazar bu kitapla okuyucuyu “iyileştirmeye” çalışmadığını, sadece okuyucunun kendini daha iyi tanıması ve farkındalık kazanmasını amaçladığı yazıyordu. Birçok kişisel gelişim kitabında gördüğümüz fazla iddialı ama altı boş vaatler sunmamasını sevdim öncelikle. Kitabın genel kitle için dili basit ve anlaşılabilirdi. Soru cevap bölümlerini keyifli buldum ayrıca.

Gelgelelim psikolojiye ilgisi olan ve bu alanda halihazırda fazlasıyla okuma yapan birisi olarak bu kitabın bana pek bir şey kattığını söyleyemem. Bana kendim hakkında herhangi bir farkındalık kazandırmadı çünkü değindiği konulara zaten hakimim.

Özetle kitabı kendi açımdan pek faydalı bulmadım. İlk defa kişisel gelişim kitabı okuyorsanız size çok daha fazla hitap edecektir.

[Jude · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found Dr LePera's previous book 'How to do the Work' very insightful and overall enjoyable, even if it triggered some heavier emotions in me. However, I'd say this book acts more like a follow-up manual, and a bit of a long-winded one at that.

Make no mistake, the advise is solid but it isn't anything that wasn't already mentioned in her previous book. Mostly grounding exercises and the like. However it did quickly get quite repetitive. If you want the overall summary I'd say it's "Ground yourself, live in the present, be kind to yourself; here's some tips and tricks on how to do that". A good premise, but a bit drawn out over it's (roughly) 300 pages.

I listened to the audiobook on Spotify and liked the narrator, but the repetitive nature of the content did lead to my mind drifting off here and there.

In conclusion I'd say it wasn't a bad book, just maybe it would have functioned better as a few extra chapters in How to do the Work.

[Simona B · Rating 5 out of 5]

O carte cu informații transmise clar, pe înțelesul oamenilor care nu au studiat psihologia sau nu au formare în psihoterapie. Exerciții practice care dezvaluie multe lucruri despre noi înșine pe care nu le conștientizăm din cauza mediului în care am crescut. Copii fiind , ne-au autocenzurat esență noastră si am ales sa fim pe placul celor care ne-au crescut pentru a putea supraviețui. Însă si în perioada adulta, ne simțim tot deconectați de noi înșine si nu ascultam ce ne spun emoțiile si corpul. Cartea ne ajuta sa privim în noi înșine cu sinceritate, blândețe,compasiune si iubire.Am sa o cumpăr pentru biblioteca personala pentru a reveni asupra unor exerciții foarte utile pentru emoțiile si corpul meu.

[Tamara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Confession: I made up the “dates read” for this book because the truth is, along with Nicole LePera’s other title “How To Do the Work,” I’ve been reading and rereading it all year long. There are certainly parts that don’t resonate, but on the whole, these books have been the exact right books at the exact right time for me. Studying them has been transformative and life-changing. I wanted to find ways to reclaim my health, and these two books illuminated a path. To put it simply, they helped me recognize patterns that weren’t serving me and replace them with patterns that do. I recommend them if you’re ready to change your life by doing the work of healing yourself.

[Lauren Scott-Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

I feel like the information in this book should be required reading for everyone, it’s so very important and we could all benefit.

As I’ve been in this space for awhile, and followed the author on instagram for a long time, I don’t feel like I read too much that was new to me here. But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t find it an important read for myself. This content being repeated is incredibly helpful.

We all have lifelong journeys we are on - healing, growing, becoming more authentic to our Self underneath it all. This book is a great starting tool for people who may be beginning this journey.

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good follow on book from “how to do the work” and “how to be the love you seek”. These books definitely helped me hugely on my journey of getting to know myself and shedding the layers of my conditioned self and to help me live and show up more authentically ✨

This workbook I found I didn’t really need after doing a lot of the work in the other books but I’m still giving it 5 stars as I did find it all very useful when working through this in the other books. I’d say you don’t necessarily need this book if you’ve read the other two, and if you haven’t read the other two then I would start there.

[Fran Groesbeck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful Guide!

Dr Nicole does it again! This book was a beautiful journey and guide. The format, the content, it all flowed so well. Some of the questions really challenged me and it felt good. I knew in those moments those were the things I needed to really face and tackle on this journey to meet myself. Her words and how she divides the book really made me feel like there was someone there helping me along the way. I took my time knowing what I needed to stop and really focus on the chapter or section and I feel like I have a whole new set of tools in my toolbox thanks to this book., in a new level of awareness and I believe it did help me meet myself.

[Varinder · Rating 5 out of 5]

This workbook provides a step-by-step route to healing oneself out of depression, anxiety, and stuckness in life. It provides a systematic way to Heal and grow without spending countless hours and money in a therapist's office. The holistic approach to Healing is backed by scientific research and the latest in Neuroscience. The book is beautiful, colorful, and inviting. It takes us on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement. Best use of my $20, and makes for a great gift for readers and non-readers alike!

[K.K. Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

An accessible guide for articulating the difference between you and your emotional reactions and unconscious patterns. A blend of The Body Keeps the Score with work of people like Brene Brown and Byron Katie, LePera clearly lays out how to differentiate your authentic self from the stress and baggage of past trauma and developed habits. There's a touch of spirituality thrown in.

I really enjoyed the consideration of how I envision my future self and how to live toward that each day. Read just in time to implement it in a new year.

[Halley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love a good workbook and I always appreciate the way Nicole LePera can engage readers. As a therapist, I think this workbook offers great explanation, education, prompts, and insight. I think it also offers a lot of practical tools that people find themselves seeking at one point or another. I’m a systemic therapist so I don’t think this workbook is the end all be all (is anything really?), but I do think it’d be great to use in conjunction with therapy, your thinking, or just other work in general.

[Moh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A detailed workbook to accompany the concepts described in LePera’s first book “How To Do The Work”. I originally found her content on IG as the Holistic Psychologist and then I enjoyed the first book so much I preordered this workbook. Very insightful and helpful, although several sections and exercises were redundant and repeated from the first book (e.g. reparenting and letter to little me). Tons of great strategies and journal prompts for nervous system healing and honing into your own authenticity.

[Kerri Morris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Dr Nicole LePera and the work she does in the mental health space. However I found this book to be very repetitive, no intriguing or new insights into self discovery and a lot of commonly known methods and practices (if you read a lot of psychology/self help books). I found her first book much better. However I throughly respect Dr LePera in all she does for opening the eyes of society to the dangers of poor self-care, poor parenting and how to treat ourselves with more kindness and respect and for that I will always purchase her books.

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once again, Dr. Nicole LePera does an awesome job at giving knowledge to the reader about how to get to know yourself. I think this book can be helpful to everybody. As someone who’s studied psychology, I knew some of the information, however there’s insight in this book that will continue to help me get to know and love myself on an even deeper level. I will be going back through and taking my time to do the work on the enhancement as well, and I’m so excited for what I learn! I think this book is a must read for anyone looking to grow as a person.