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An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Couples: The Two of Us
The second edition of this essential and newly updated workbook is intended for use with couples who want to enhance their emotional connection or overcome their relationship distress. It closely follows the course of EFT treatment and allows clinicians to easily integrate guided reading, reflection, and discussion into the therapeutic process.
Incorporating new developments in EFT and decades of research in the field of attachment, Veronica Kallos-Lilly and Jennifer Fitzgerald include chapters that explore concepts such as attachment bonds, the three cycles of relationship distress, how to make sense of emotions, relationship hurts and more. The workbook follows the familiar and accessible format of the first edition, Read, Reflect, and Discuss, and weaves fresh, illustrative examples throughout, with updated content considering the impact of gender, culture, and sexual orientation on relationship dynamics. Added reflections on these topics and an expanded section on sexuality dispels constraining popular myths and frees partners up to express themselves more openly.
This book is essential reading for partners looking for helpful steps to improve the quality of their romantic relationships as well as marriage and family therapists, couple therapists and clinicians training in EFT to use with their clients.
Incorporating new developments in EFT and decades of research in the field of attachment, Veronica Kallos-Lilly and Jennifer Fitzgerald include chapters that explore concepts such as attachment bonds, the three cycles of relationship distress, how to make sense of emotions, relationship hurts and more. The workbook follows the familiar and accessible format of the first edition, Read, Reflect, and Discuss, and weaves fresh, illustrative examples throughout, with updated content considering the impact of gender, culture, and sexual orientation on relationship dynamics. Added reflections on these topics and an expanded section on sexuality dispels constraining popular myths and frees partners up to express themselves more openly.
This book is essential reading for partners looking for helpful steps to improve the quality of their romantic relationships as well as marriage and family therapists, couple therapists and clinicians training in EFT to use with their clients.
244 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2014
83 people are currently reading
238 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
February 11, 2019
Their structure starts with the things that you like about the other person - happy memories with them, times you felt supported by them, times when you felt they were present with you, etc. It then talks about emotions and connects them to past experiences, particularly childhood experiences, and the coping mechanisms you’ve developed. It then provides examples of how one person’s response to stress feeds their partner’s stress, creating an endless cycle. Then it moves on to general strategies for talking about conflict before moving on to specific types of conflict. Finally it provides guidance for re-establishing intimacy and joy within the relationship. That’s one thing that’s missing in some other books I've read - a framework to open up, resolve issues, and restore the vitality.
The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh is a favorite since it approaches communication from a Buddhist perspective, with a focus on simplicity and openness, not hiding behind the complexity of your words.
Non Violent Communication is also interesting since it covers hidden messages of judgement and criticism, and has a heavy focus on explicit communication, differentiating between needs and tactics for meeting those needs, and listening to hear, not to respond. Particularly valuable for anyone on the spectrum, or anyone looking to improve their cognitive empathy a bit.
A General Theory of Love was interesting for attachment theory and forming templates, though the language was a bit florid for my taste. Thinking, Fast and Slow was useful for identifying mental shortcuts we take. Particularly good for seeing how others responded, vs how we might respond.
Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh was useful for the continuations and seeds topics, e.g. the idea of you being a continuation of the important teachers/friends from your past, because you carry a part of their beliefs/character with you when you're changed by your interaction with them.
The Body Keeps the Score was useful for seeing how anxiety affects the mind, particularly for PTSD, how different types of therapies are meant to help, along with an analysis of how well they actually work for different problems. Some very good insight in that one.
The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh is a favorite since it approaches communication from a Buddhist perspective, with a focus on simplicity and openness, not hiding behind the complexity of your words.
Non Violent Communication is also interesting since it covers hidden messages of judgement and criticism, and has a heavy focus on explicit communication, differentiating between needs and tactics for meeting those needs, and listening to hear, not to respond. Particularly valuable for anyone on the spectrum, or anyone looking to improve their cognitive empathy a bit.
A General Theory of Love was interesting for attachment theory and forming templates, though the language was a bit florid for my taste. Thinking, Fast and Slow was useful for identifying mental shortcuts we take. Particularly good for seeing how others responded, vs how we might respond.
Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh was useful for the continuations and seeds topics, e.g. the idea of you being a continuation of the important teachers/friends from your past, because you carry a part of their beliefs/character with you when you're changed by your interaction with them.
The Body Keeps the Score was useful for seeing how anxiety affects the mind, particularly for PTSD, how different types of therapies are meant to help, along with an analysis of how well they actually work for different problems. Some very good insight in that one.
March 27, 2026
I appreciate this one because it stays close to emotional connection instead of getting lost in technique. It gives couples a structured way to slow down, understand the cycle they get pulled into, and reach for each other with more honesty. It also feels useful in practice because it translates EFT ideas into something couples can actually work with between sessions
August 14, 2021
Great workbook to utilize with couples.
December 12, 2024
Helpful to read the examples of couples who work to discover the emotions behind their behaviors so they can communicate their needs with their partners more effectively
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews