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The Kitchen Is Closed: And Other Benefits of Being Old
In her eighties, Sandra Butler does not identify as elderly. Or mature. She’s neither plucky nor a burden, and she’s not over any hills. She’s old, and she’s ready to reclaim that word.
In this funny and intensely personal collection of essays, Butler chronicles her experience moving from aging to old, remembering and forgetting all the wrong things, feeling frustrated with technology, keeping up with the avalanche of cultural and political news, mothering two middle-aged daughters, surveying her old body, and ultimately, preparing for her death.
With its sharp humor and refreshing honesty, The Kitchen Is Closed is a must-read for aging women, eldercare workers, and adult children who want to gain a fuller sense of their mother’s life. Old women are cast aside in white American culture, Butler argues, and it’s both disheartening and disrespectful. Butler is not a senior—she’s a mother, a lesbian, a Jew, a feminist, and at times, a “rabble-rousing hectorer.” And now that her time is running out, Butler doesn’t mess around with things that don’t matter. She is supremely motivated, and she’s so much braver than ever before.
In this funny and intensely personal collection of essays, Butler chronicles her experience moving from aging to old, remembering and forgetting all the wrong things, feeling frustrated with technology, keeping up with the avalanche of cultural and political news, mothering two middle-aged daughters, surveying her old body, and ultimately, preparing for her death.
With its sharp humor and refreshing honesty, The Kitchen Is Closed is a must-read for aging women, eldercare workers, and adult children who want to gain a fuller sense of their mother’s life. Old women are cast aside in white American culture, Butler argues, and it’s both disheartening and disrespectful. Butler is not a senior—she’s a mother, a lesbian, a Jew, a feminist, and at times, a “rabble-rousing hectorer.” And now that her time is running out, Butler doesn’t mess around with things that don’t matter. She is supremely motivated, and she’s so much braver than ever before.
180 pages, Paperback
Published July 1, 2022
19 people are currently reading
174 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
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July 27, 2022I wasn’t sure exactly what I was getting with this collection of essays from someone in their 80s who (as she says) is the L in LGBTQ+, but I knew it sounded interesting and I am happy to report loved it!
I appreciated the honesty of this collection. I loved learning Butler’s history and read the whole book in one sitting. My favorite essays were the ones relating to sexuality and her time in France, but in every essay there was a candidness that I found refreshing. Memoirs are my favorite genre because of books like this.
I appreciated the honesty of this collection. I loved learning Butler’s history and read the whole book in one sitting. My favorite essays were the ones relating to sexuality and her time in France, but in every essay there was a candidness that I found refreshing. Memoirs are my favorite genre because of books like this.
July 25, 2022
This is a collection of essays which details the author's experience with aging as a woman. It was definitely interesting. I think one of the main themes in these essays was acceptance. Accepting herself as she was after years of comparisons, accepting the way life is now and making the most of it. I loved the story about eating her birthday cake with her fingers during covid when everyone was apart. Another section that made me laugh was the many recommended travel accessories and how useless they ended up being.
Some sections were a bit more detailed about routines and grooming, but that is such a big part of our day-to-day and it did feel like a very real slice of her life. I felt like I got to know the author and live in her head a bit through these essays.
I'd like to thank Get Red PR for my advanced reader copy of this collection.
Some sections were a bit more detailed about routines and grooming, but that is such a big part of our day-to-day and it did feel like a very real slice of her life. I felt like I got to know the author and live in her head a bit through these essays.
I'd like to thank Get Red PR for my advanced reader copy of this collection.
July 23, 2022
While I'm not in my 80's (but sure hope I get there!), I've definitely hit the half century mark and could relate to so much in this book!
Butler shares stories from as young as she can remember up to her current age and I loved getting these little glimpses of her life. It's amazing how much people have in common, even at such different ages. I laughed, I sighed with content and maybe even got a little saddened a time or two thinking of something from my own past.
This short book can be read pretty quickly and was perfect for my afternoon readathon. A great book for anyone who enjoys looking back on life and thinking about what's coming next.
Thank you so much to @getredprbooks for sharing this gem of a read with me. All opinions expressed are my own.
Butler shares stories from as young as she can remember up to her current age and I loved getting these little glimpses of her life. It's amazing how much people have in common, even at such different ages. I laughed, I sighed with content and maybe even got a little saddened a time or two thinking of something from my own past.
This short book can be read pretty quickly and was perfect for my afternoon readathon. A great book for anyone who enjoys looking back on life and thinking about what's coming next.
Thank you so much to @getredprbooks for sharing this gem of a read with me. All opinions expressed are my own.
February 5, 2023
I really enjoyed this collection of stories. As a recent retiree, I find myself reading more books by women who write about their own aging process.
Ms. Butler is clever and witty, and entirely honest about the changes in her body and memory. I plan to write a short book myself: “don’t call me dear!” I appreciated the authors perspective on ageism.
Ms. Butler is clever and witty, and entirely honest about the changes in her body and memory. I plan to write a short book myself: “don’t call me dear!” I appreciated the authors perspective on ageism.
August 9, 2022
Kindle version: I read this in just a few hours during the road trip home from the lake. I appreciated Butler’s honesty in admitting that her life didn’t give quite the reward she anticipated after braving the choice to leave an unfulfilling marriage and launching herself into what she felt would be a new and more exciting world. As I sit here and watch all the states go by and reflect on what it might have been like to have made the decision to live in one or another, I already know, at 53, that were I to write essays about my own life and the expectations I had as a young newly divorced woman following the advice of so many female authors of the day to follow my heart, that I will be writing much the same. I’m disappointed sometimes at my lack of success (and I had a pretty low bar for success) and my lack of being even a smidgen interesting. Those who committed to stay and live what I considered boring lives are no more or less interesting than me, so I guess it’s just life? Who knows. Maybe I’m not yet done with my “upgrade” (aka menopause) and I’ll engage with life once again enough to have yet another chapter. Until then, I’ll revel in the comfort and gratefulness I feel at being loved and in love and curling up next to that man in the most mundane of lives knowing that I’m not alone and that the older I get, the less I’ll care about all that other crap.
August 5, 2022
Such a poignant and uplifting memoir of a life that has been in no way easy, but full. I absolutely loved Sandra’s vulnerability about her life’s ups and downs, and especially the grief for her younger self and for the death she sees as inevitable but not frightening. This collection of essays really allows us to get to know this nuanced and brave feminist voice as she reflects on her own paths and where she has ended up.
It truly broke my heart to hear her bemoaning the lack of stories about old ladies. She’s right, there just aren’t enough spry, sarcastic, loving and outspoken old ladies in literature. When we talk about representation, I think it’s important that everyone be able to see themselves in fiction, and these ageless, aging mamas need that, too. Step it up authors!
Thank you to Get Red PR and the author for my free copy. These opinions are my own.
It truly broke my heart to hear her bemoaning the lack of stories about old ladies. She’s right, there just aren’t enough spry, sarcastic, loving and outspoken old ladies in literature. When we talk about representation, I think it’s important that everyone be able to see themselves in fiction, and these ageless, aging mamas need that, too. Step it up authors!
Thank you to Get Red PR and the author for my free copy. These opinions are my own.
August 8, 2022
We all have a story to be told, and I'm so glad that I had
the opportunity to read Sandra's. When I first received
the book, I had very mixed feelings. I thought "Well, I'm
not old yet, what could this book even provide me?" I'm
so glad that I read on and have plans on reading this
again in the future.
In her eighties, the author writes a collection of
personal essays about aging but it is so much more
than just that. This memoir took me by surprise as I
read right through and couldn't put it down. I can't say
that I could relate to any of her stories, but I could see
it possibly being relatable to me in the future, in one
way or another. Her stories made me laugh, smile, feel
sadness, as well as gain a deeper understanding for
the mature woman.
the opportunity to read Sandra's. When I first received
the book, I had very mixed feelings. I thought "Well, I'm
not old yet, what could this book even provide me?" I'm
so glad that I read on and have plans on reading this
again in the future.
In her eighties, the author writes a collection of
personal essays about aging but it is so much more
than just that. This memoir took me by surprise as I
read right through and couldn't put it down. I can't say
that I could relate to any of her stories, but I could see
it possibly being relatable to me in the future, in one
way or another. Her stories made me laugh, smile, feel
sadness, as well as gain a deeper understanding for
the mature woman.
August 28, 2022
What an delightful recounting of a life! Butler accepts that she has more years behind than before her
and with admirable honesty and acceptance shares her thoughts on aging with the reader. Her essays spoke to me since I'm a bit older than she is. I identify with her insights into her life choices and her desire to live the world quietly in her sleep. I laughed a lot while reading this short but endearing book.
and with admirable honesty and acceptance shares her thoughts on aging with the reader. Her essays spoke to me since I'm a bit older than she is. I identify with her insights into her life choices and her desire to live the world quietly in her sleep. I laughed a lot while reading this short but endearing book.
March 18, 2023
A delightful take on aging. This collection of essays will have you laughing, crying and contemplating what getting older means for you. Ranging from a hysterical account of an attempt at online dating, to a solo adventure in the South of France, ruminations on evolving reading tastes, adapting to a changing body, or surviving the pandemic, there is something for everyone here. A quick read. Wonderful.
August 10, 2023
As an octogenarian myself, this book really spoke to me. I loved reading it. So much of what Butler describes is my experience. Her experiences with yoga, computers, de-cluttering, the physical things that happen with age, and thoughts about dying, and much more mirror my own experiences and thoughts. Her writing style is witty and fun. I read a copy from my local library, but I'm going to my local independent bookstore to purchase a copy, so I can share it with my friends.
December 19, 2024
Just Wonderful
Some of her stories were hilarious, laugh out loud funny. Some were about what it's like being old, old like 75 and more, with the benefits and challenges that go along. Mostly funny, sometimes pensive, never depressing. I loved this book of short stories. Will be looking for more Sandra Butler books!
Some of her stories were hilarious, laugh out loud funny. Some were about what it's like being old, old like 75 and more, with the benefits and challenges that go along. Mostly funny, sometimes pensive, never depressing. I loved this book of short stories. Will be looking for more Sandra Butler books!
February 23, 2023
I enjoyed this book. So little is written about aging that is helpful. As Ms. Butler wrote, she writes books for women on topics she would seek to read but had not been written. I am in that group the author calls something to the effect, newly old. I feel like I am trying to sort through this new chapter in life without a manual. "The Kitchen is Closed" made me laugh and gave me insight. I also found comfort in her words, too. Regarding the last chapter, might I suggest the author consider planting her ashes in a tree? It may sound like I'm joking, but it's a thing! Just ask my kid. One day I will make her a tree hugger.
August 24, 2022
We don't hear enough from our 80+ female authors!
September 2, 2022
Facing the challenges of growing old with humor, tenderness and courage.
'The Kitchen is Closed, and Other Benefits of Being Old' by Sandra Butler is a great read. A collection of essays about growing old. Her storytelling is written from her own experiences and challenges as an unconventional Jewish mother, activist, writer, friend, and so much more. So much depth, laced with humor, courageous and tender at the same time. I highly recommend it.
'The Kitchen is Closed, and Other Benefits of Being Old' by Sandra Butler is a great read. A collection of essays about growing old. Her storytelling is written from her own experiences and challenges as an unconventional Jewish mother, activist, writer, friend, and so much more. So much depth, laced with humor, courageous and tender at the same time. I highly recommend it.
November 9, 2022
So relatable. Laugh-out-loud while delving into the seriousness of becoming/being old. Well written and honest account from the author.
June 20, 2025
Memoir of aging over 75. Self reflective, honest, quirky, and a little comforting.
July 27, 2022
Thank you to GetRedPR, #partner, for an advanced copy of The Kitchen Is Closed: And Other Benefits of Being Old in exchange for my honest review.
It’s not too often that I read a collection of essays, but there was something about this one that just called me to and I have to say, I’m so glad I went with my instincts and said yes to this one. It really was an enlightening and thought-provoking read.
One of the things I love most about reading essays is that you don’t have to read them cover to cover. You can read one or two at a time and then just set the book aside and pick something else up. That’s what I had anticipated doing with this one, but I found myself so engaged with the writing that I ended up reading this in two sittings – though it really could have been done in one! I appreciated the candor and honesty that the author takes in her writing.
While I am clearly not as old as the author, I found this book to be relatable in little ways. I myself am nearing the end of my 40s and, much like the author, I have come to not sweat the smaller stuff and really embrace what is important to me. I strongly agree with the author in the idea of reading what you want when you want and not being made to feel you have to read something just because it’s on a list.
As with all collections of essays, there are some that appealed to me more than others, but I still enjoyed reading them all and I know this is the type of book I will revisit frequently.
You can see all my reviews at: https://www.alwayswithabook.com/
It’s not too often that I read a collection of essays, but there was something about this one that just called me to and I have to say, I’m so glad I went with my instincts and said yes to this one. It really was an enlightening and thought-provoking read.
One of the things I love most about reading essays is that you don’t have to read them cover to cover. You can read one or two at a time and then just set the book aside and pick something else up. That’s what I had anticipated doing with this one, but I found myself so engaged with the writing that I ended up reading this in two sittings – though it really could have been done in one! I appreciated the candor and honesty that the author takes in her writing.
While I am clearly not as old as the author, I found this book to be relatable in little ways. I myself am nearing the end of my 40s and, much like the author, I have come to not sweat the smaller stuff and really embrace what is important to me. I strongly agree with the author in the idea of reading what you want when you want and not being made to feel you have to read something just because it’s on a list.
As with all collections of essays, there are some that appealed to me more than others, but I still enjoyed reading them all and I know this is the type of book I will revisit frequently.
You can see all my reviews at: https://www.alwayswithabook.com/
August 2, 2023
A clever writer, tackling issues of being old. It didn’t necessarily hit all my personal nails on the head, but I was glad to have read it.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews