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The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life
Dr. Joy Browne has spent nearly twenty years advising thousands of women and men about their frustrations and disappointments. She has diagnosed the ways we get in trouble and stay there. In turn, Dr. Joy has developed a proven prescription to free us from our self-defeating thoughts and habits that allows for real progress toward our goals. She calls her plan for emotional health The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life and the Eight Realities That Will Save You .
In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Joy Browne shows you how to apply these simple, powerful ideas to your marriage, personal relationships, career, finances, health, and every other area of your life. No matter how difficult or long-standing your problems, Dr. Joy will show you how to become a fearless, focused, and, most important, happy adventurer in your own life. That may sound like a fantasy, but you can make it your new reality.
In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Joy Browne shows you how to apply these simple, powerful ideas to your marriage, personal relationships, career, finances, health, and every other area of your life. No matter how difficult or long-standing your problems, Dr. Joy will show you how to become a fearless, focused, and, most important, happy adventurer in your own life. That may sound like a fantasy, but you can make it your new reality.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1998
About the author
Joy Browne
18 books3 followersJoy Browne, also known as Dr. Joy, was an American talk show host, specializing in advice counselling. She hosted a nationally syndicated call-in talk show for several decades, heard on numerous radio stations in the U.S. and Canada.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
July 8, 2018
I use to be a fan of Dr. Joy Browne’s syndicated radio talk show so when I saw her book at a used book store I picked it up to see what it was about. It’s no more than a written collection of conversations she had with callers on her radio show. She grouped them into nine fantasies people have that fail for them and eight realities.
One fantasy she proposed is that “There is no place like home.’ The truth is that all families have problems and are dysfunctional. No one lives in a perfect family. But we tend to believe others do.
One reality she prosed is that “Selfish is Cool, Mean is not.” People need to take care of themselves before they can take care of anyone else. You can only make yourself happy no one else can do that for you.
I usually read self-help books because it makes me feel good after reading them. This book didn’t give me any such feeling.
One fantasy she proposed is that “There is no place like home.’ The truth is that all families have problems and are dysfunctional. No one lives in a perfect family. But we tend to believe others do.
One reality she prosed is that “Selfish is Cool, Mean is not.” People need to take care of themselves before they can take care of anyone else. You can only make yourself happy no one else can do that for you.
I usually read self-help books because it makes me feel good after reading them. This book didn’t give me any such feeling.
August 9, 2008
Very funny read, believe it or not. I agree with many of her ideas in this book. It's entertaining to read about the problems people have and to wonder why such a seemingly stupid problem can cause someone so much stress.
October 9, 2021
No matter where you live, you have to acknowledge reality. You have to accept that people aren't perfect, families aren't functional, winning the lottery is terrible, and so on.
However, people still cling to their hopes and dreams, letting them dictate where they go in life. They rationalize and make excuses about their situation, blaming everything except themselves. They hope for a Prince Charming or a Sleeping Beauty to sweep them off their feet and take them away from their troubles.
Dr. Joy Browne was a radio psychologist. I hadn't heard of her. I don't know if she is still practicing, but this book is from 1998, so maybe not. "The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life" is a self-help/motivational book. The book takes transcripts from Dr. Browne's radio program and prints them in book form with the names changed to protect the innocent.
Common sense fills the pages of this book. Take the first problem tackled in this book, Dr. Browne calls it, "There's no place like home." Some people think that the past was some idyllic land where dinner was on time, the kids behaved, and everyone had minor problems solvable before a commercial break. Dr. Browne points out that these were television shows. Father Knows Best, My Three Sons, Leave It To Beaver, and many more displayed an unrealistic notion of family life. Take my mother's family, for example. My maternal grandfather was the breadwinner, and my grandmother kept the house in shape. My mother was the middle child of three, and they had a pet dog. Her situation all crashed down when my grandmother started acting strange. She contracted Alzheimer's disease, something they didn't know about at the time. Although I loved my grandfather dearly, I admit that he had a temper. My mother had fights with her siblings over the television, you know, who would watch what programs. There were only three television stations; can you imagine that now?
In any case, Dr. Browne has a refreshing way of speaking. Her no-nonsense attitude towards life is eye-opening. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. Thanks for reading my review, and see you next time.
However, people still cling to their hopes and dreams, letting them dictate where they go in life. They rationalize and make excuses about their situation, blaming everything except themselves. They hope for a Prince Charming or a Sleeping Beauty to sweep them off their feet and take them away from their troubles.
Dr. Joy Browne was a radio psychologist. I hadn't heard of her. I don't know if she is still practicing, but this book is from 1998, so maybe not. "The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life" is a self-help/motivational book. The book takes transcripts from Dr. Browne's radio program and prints them in book form with the names changed to protect the innocent.
Common sense fills the pages of this book. Take the first problem tackled in this book, Dr. Browne calls it, "There's no place like home." Some people think that the past was some idyllic land where dinner was on time, the kids behaved, and everyone had minor problems solvable before a commercial break. Dr. Browne points out that these were television shows. Father Knows Best, My Three Sons, Leave It To Beaver, and many more displayed an unrealistic notion of family life. Take my mother's family, for example. My maternal grandfather was the breadwinner, and my grandmother kept the house in shape. My mother was the middle child of three, and they had a pet dog. Her situation all crashed down when my grandmother started acting strange. She contracted Alzheimer's disease, something they didn't know about at the time. Although I loved my grandfather dearly, I admit that he had a temper. My mother had fights with her siblings over the television, you know, who would watch what programs. There were only three television stations; can you imagine that now?
In any case, Dr. Browne has a refreshing way of speaking. Her no-nonsense attitude towards life is eye-opening. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. Thanks for reading my review, and see you next time.
April 30, 2020
It is a really helpful book. I am often guided by emotions in my actions and I used to think and believe that I was right because as they 'listen to your heart', and I thought I was doing that. This book showed me how what my heart sometimes wanted were fantasies and that I was actually pushing myself in a sad state. You know how it sometime happens that you want to do something and you are excited about it and how there is one voice inside you which keeps pricking but you cant understand why is that happening cause you think that's what you really want and that that is the right thing to do. And then you end up doing something but it doesn't turn out the way you expected it to be. I can be anything going over to your boyfriend's place after you have broken up, telling your mom the truth about your brother 'for his good', ignoring the flaws in people around you cause 'hey! I am happy, and focusing on the flaw will just ruin it', etc. etc. This book helped me understand what that voice is, that how often I acted on my fantasies. That voice was the realist inside me who was trying to bring the reality into picture. But I couldn't figure out cause I didn't know the real difference between reality and fantasy.
Though at a lot of points the author had explained things in an American way and I couldn't make much sense of what she was saying. But I skipped those parts completely instead of analysing and finding my own meaning. But the books was so good and helpful that I am thinking of reading it again to understand better. And this would be the first book, if I read, which I would read for a second time.
Though at a lot of points the author had explained things in an American way and I couldn't make much sense of what she was saying. But I skipped those parts completely instead of analysing and finding my own meaning. But the books was so good and helpful that I am thinking of reading it again to understand better. And this would be the first book, if I read, which I would read for a second time.
November 26, 2025
This is an older book, published in 1998, written by radio talk personality, Dr. Joy Browne. I was not familiar with her syndicated radio program, nor her name. I thought the title sounded interesting, so gave it a try,
I may love Joy Browne (now deceased; died in 2016). She addresses callers personal life queries with humor, and no nonsense practical advise, even, "seek therapy." Granted, the book format, and I suspect her radio program, are basic, quick assessments, but still practical advice. She doesn't engender whiners or pity partiers. Shrink wrapped: Feelings happen; feelings are neither good or bad, I may not be in control of what happens to me, but I do control my reactions, responses and am responsible for my behavior!
Lots of light bulb gems tucked into her advise.
Keep in mind this is SELF-HELP, not mental illness diagnosis.
I may love Joy Browne (now deceased; died in 2016). She addresses callers personal life queries with humor, and no nonsense practical advise, even, "seek therapy." Granted, the book format, and I suspect her radio program, are basic, quick assessments, but still practical advice. She doesn't engender whiners or pity partiers. Shrink wrapped: Feelings happen; feelings are neither good or bad, I may not be in control of what happens to me, but I do control my reactions, responses and am responsible for my behavior!
Lots of light bulb gems tucked into her advise.
Keep in mind this is SELF-HELP, not mental illness diagnosis.
October 3, 2018
I love this no nonsense guide to life. It rings with so much truth, I periodically paused to savor the wisdom.
March 14, 2017
All you have to do is read the chapter headings and you'll get all you need to from this book. I stopped reading because the author's attitude was off-putting. I would have liked to see more loving kindness. Perhaps a fantasy I have is that we can speak the truth and be helpful to others while still being kind.
September 24, 2023
Not a fan and that's okay!
December 30, 2014
It gave me some self-awareness that I had been needing. Wish I had read it many years ago when I was making some of those mistakes she writes about :(
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews