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Dear Denise: Letters to the Sister I Never Knew
Poignant, honest, and heartfelt letters to a sister who perished in the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing
Lisa McNair was born in 1964, one year after her older sister, Denise, was murdered in the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama. Dear Denise is a collection of forty letters from Lisa addressed to the sister she never knew, but in whose shadow of sacrifice and lost youth she was raised. These letters offer an intimate look into the life of a family touched by one of the most heinous tragedies of the Civil Rights Movement .
Written in a genuine, accessible, familiar, and easy-to-read voice, Lisa’s letters apprise her late sister of all that has come to pass in the years since her death. Lisa considers her own challenges and accomplishments as a student in remarkably different—and very racially complex—schools; the birth of their baby sister, Kim; their father’s election to the Alabama legislature; her evolving sense of faith and place, and sometimes lack thereof, within the Black church; her college experiences; and her own sense of self as she’s matured into adulthood. She reveals some of the family’s difficulties and health challenges, and shares some of their joys and celebrations.
The letters are accompanied by 29 black-and-white photographs, most of them from the McNair family collection, many of them taken by her father, a professional photographer who documented the Civil Rights Movement in Alabama both before and after Denise’s murder. An unswervingly candid, gentle, and nuanced book, Dear Denise is a testament to one singular life lived bravely and truthfully (if sometimes confusedly or awkwardly), during decades of bewildering social change and in the shadow of one life never fully lived.
Lisa McNair was born in 1964, one year after her older sister, Denise, was murdered in the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama. Dear Denise is a collection of forty letters from Lisa addressed to the sister she never knew, but in whose shadow of sacrifice and lost youth she was raised. These letters offer an intimate look into the life of a family touched by one of the most heinous tragedies of the Civil Rights Movement .
Written in a genuine, accessible, familiar, and easy-to-read voice, Lisa’s letters apprise her late sister of all that has come to pass in the years since her death. Lisa considers her own challenges and accomplishments as a student in remarkably different—and very racially complex—schools; the birth of their baby sister, Kim; their father’s election to the Alabama legislature; her evolving sense of faith and place, and sometimes lack thereof, within the Black church; her college experiences; and her own sense of self as she’s matured into adulthood. She reveals some of the family’s difficulties and health challenges, and shares some of their joys and celebrations.
The letters are accompanied by 29 black-and-white photographs, most of them from the McNair family collection, many of them taken by her father, a professional photographer who documented the Civil Rights Movement in Alabama both before and after Denise’s murder. An unswervingly candid, gentle, and nuanced book, Dear Denise is a testament to one singular life lived bravely and truthfully (if sometimes confusedly or awkwardly), during decades of bewildering social change and in the shadow of one life never fully lived.
- GenresNonfictionMemoirHistory
216 pages, Hardcover
Published September 13, 2022
13 people are currently reading
386 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
April 2, 2025
What a memoir to read…
Letters written to an older sister that the author never knew, because she was born in 1964. That was a year after her 11-year-old sister Denise and three other girls died in the church bombing at the 16th Street Church in Alabama.
Lisa came to write the letters as a way to connect with Denise. She “talks” to her about many things; her experiences of growing up in a very different world, where Jim Crow laws were largely a thing of the past; learning to live in the shadow of her famous sister; her anxiety at never feeling that she fit in
with white or Black people. Lisa expresses in almost every letter that she wishes that Denise could have been around to share life with her, good times and bad. Often heart-breaking to read, but also very heart-warming. And the family photos spread throughout the book add a special, personal touch.
Letters written to an older sister that the author never knew, because she was born in 1964. That was a year after her 11-year-old sister Denise and three other girls died in the church bombing at the 16th Street Church in Alabama.
Lisa came to write the letters as a way to connect with Denise. She “talks” to her about many things; her experiences of growing up in a very different world, where Jim Crow laws were largely a thing of the past; learning to live in the shadow of her famous sister; her anxiety at never feeling that she fit in
with white or Black people. Lisa expresses in almost every letter that she wishes that Denise could have been around to share life with her, good times and bad. Often heart-breaking to read, but also very heart-warming. And the family photos spread throughout the book add a special, personal touch.
March 27, 2024
10/10! So many things she discussed are still issues today and, therefore, this book really resonated with me. Ms. McNair's outlook on life is truly inspiring and everyone can learn a little something from her.
March 19, 2023
3.5 stars
White is not better; it’s just different. Black is not better, it’s just different. But together, we are great! (p. 172). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
While reading this I kept thinking back to my years in elementary public schools, and found myself wishing I had read a book like this while in school. Similar to how I felt while reading Ishi Last of His Tribe by Theodora Kroeber. Maybe we touched on the underground railroad and briefly learned about slavery during our Civil War Unit, but that was about it. It's a shame schoolkids can't read books like this for their social studies or history units. I remember while I was in 4th grade the show Roots was on tv and my parents and all of our neighbors in the neighborhood were watching and discussing Roots. I was curious about this show everyone was talking about. No one would discuss it with us kids, not even in school, in the classrooms. Children should be taught all of our history. The truth will set us free! Also, young children are very curious and eager to learn everything in a nonjudgmental manner.
In this book Lisa shares her struggles in the public and private school systems in trying to fit in. For most of her elementary years there was only 1 other black child in her class. Chapter 36, Our Black Heritage is an excellent chapter for educators to read.
I am thinking about putting these letters in book form so that anyone who has Black kids going to a mostly white school can read it. Then maybe they will understand the reason why their Black children know only a little about Black heritage, which isn’t being taught in their schools. Then they will understand why their children are so open to and saturated with white cultural norms. Their parents can also learn how to help them to navigate in this new world. It might help those kids feel less alone, as well. (p. 170). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
Naturally, I wanted to celebrate Black History Month. I thought it would be good to share the accomplishments of African Americans with my fellow students. The powers that be gave their approval but when it came time to actually celebrate, they blocked me at every turn, and finally I was told not to focus on Black History Month any further. They didn’t mind me having a speaker, just not one who celebrated Black History Month. They broke my heart by telling me no, but also by dancing around it instead of just saying they didn’t want to have that type of program at their school. (p. 61). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
A few years after I graduated, one of my neighbors, a smart African American young lady, was also elected to be the student council president, and we both hoped that things had changed. Sadly, she too was not allowed to celebrate Black History Month with a speaker or a program. They just didn’t want anything positive about our race and our people to be shown. (p. 62). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
3.5 stars as the writing feels toned down. At times it feels very rote as in, first this happened and then that happened. However, it's actually a perfect book for school kids and I have a feeling that may be what the author, Lisa McNair intended, while writing. There are also some fantastic, historic photographs in the book. It's definitely a story that needs to be told and shared.
Even though white racists murdered her sister and 3 other young, black girls, when they bombed a church in Alabama, Lisa McNair remains unbiased and nonjudgmental in her heart.
Some of our sick white brothers and sisters tried to make us less than human and, in the process, they became less than human themselves. (pp. 107-108). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
White is not better; it’s just different. Black is not better, it’s just different. But together, we are great! (p. 172). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
While reading this I kept thinking back to my years in elementary public schools, and found myself wishing I had read a book like this while in school. Similar to how I felt while reading Ishi Last of His Tribe by Theodora Kroeber. Maybe we touched on the underground railroad and briefly learned about slavery during our Civil War Unit, but that was about it. It's a shame schoolkids can't read books like this for their social studies or history units. I remember while I was in 4th grade the show Roots was on tv and my parents and all of our neighbors in the neighborhood were watching and discussing Roots. I was curious about this show everyone was talking about. No one would discuss it with us kids, not even in school, in the classrooms. Children should be taught all of our history. The truth will set us free! Also, young children are very curious and eager to learn everything in a nonjudgmental manner.
In this book Lisa shares her struggles in the public and private school systems in trying to fit in. For most of her elementary years there was only 1 other black child in her class. Chapter 36, Our Black Heritage is an excellent chapter for educators to read.
I am thinking about putting these letters in book form so that anyone who has Black kids going to a mostly white school can read it. Then maybe they will understand the reason why their Black children know only a little about Black heritage, which isn’t being taught in their schools. Then they will understand why their children are so open to and saturated with white cultural norms. Their parents can also learn how to help them to navigate in this new world. It might help those kids feel less alone, as well. (p. 170). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
Naturally, I wanted to celebrate Black History Month. I thought it would be good to share the accomplishments of African Americans with my fellow students. The powers that be gave their approval but when it came time to actually celebrate, they blocked me at every turn, and finally I was told not to focus on Black History Month any further. They didn’t mind me having a speaker, just not one who celebrated Black History Month. They broke my heart by telling me no, but also by dancing around it instead of just saying they didn’t want to have that type of program at their school. (p. 61). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
A few years after I graduated, one of my neighbors, a smart African American young lady, was also elected to be the student council president, and we both hoped that things had changed. Sadly, she too was not allowed to celebrate Black History Month with a speaker or a program. They just didn’t want anything positive about our race and our people to be shown. (p. 62). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
3.5 stars as the writing feels toned down. At times it feels very rote as in, first this happened and then that happened. However, it's actually a perfect book for school kids and I have a feeling that may be what the author, Lisa McNair intended, while writing. There are also some fantastic, historic photographs in the book. It's definitely a story that needs to be told and shared.
Even though white racists murdered her sister and 3 other young, black girls, when they bombed a church in Alabama, Lisa McNair remains unbiased and nonjudgmental in her heart.
Some of our sick white brothers and sisters tried to make us less than human and, in the process, they became less than human themselves. (pp. 107-108). University of Alabama Press. Kindle Edition.
Want to read
April 1, 2023Lisa Mc Nair is an author. The cover of the book is interesting if you like dolls. Do you like dolls? Is Lisa an American girl as pretty as Addy, the American Girl. Does the girl interest or the doll or the book itself? Keep that in mind as you study with different friends that the little girl is a human and the doll represents a human who looks different from you. Does the doll have more feelings than you? Well no but you still take care of the doll. Will the girl have kids? Do you want kids? I didn't but you are a little person that I have to teach? Can you give the doll a hug? Hug her and then run along!
December 3, 2022
A beautiful compilation of letters, written honestly and lovingly. The author was able to share about both her own life and her family's experiences while honoring the legacy of her beloved sister whose life was stolen before the author was even born. I love how she ended with hope and peace in her own heart.
January 22, 2023
Captivating Letters
Lisa's letters are so heartfelt. In my mind I could actually see her having these conversations with Denise. The honesty and depth of her sharing was very humbling to read. I hope many read these letters. She shared far more than she could have but what we conceal and not reveal can never heal. So glad she's healed.
Lisa's letters are so heartfelt. In my mind I could actually see her having these conversations with Denise. The honesty and depth of her sharing was very humbling to read. I hope many read these letters. She shared far more than she could have but what we conceal and not reveal can never heal. So glad she's healed.
February 25, 2024
I really resonated with the author and her struggle to fit into an ever-changing South. I grew up biracial and just like the author, never felt like I completely fit in with blacks or whites. It was such an interesting read; I highly recommend it to those who want a better picture of what it is like being a person of color in the South.
April 14, 2024
Dear Denise: Letters to the Sister I Never Knew sheds light on the impact a family tragedy has on relatives for generations. Click here to hear me share more of my thoughts on my YouTube channel.
January 1, 2023
A beautifully written book! The true story of Denise McNair, murdered at age 8 in the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing by white supremacists in Birmingham, AL, in 1963. The story is told through letters written by her younger sister, Lisa.
March 15, 2023
This book gives a very personal look at the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s and how things played out afterwards for one person intimately affected, and her family and friends. I've been reading lots about the movement recently, and this title is unlike all the others for its unique perspective.
October 11, 2022
Lisa's letters to her sister, Denise, walk us through Civil Rights history
October 11, 2022
Interesting memoir of her experiences in life and her family.
September 6, 2023
Written by Lisa McNair in an honest, loving manner and from her unique perspective. A must read.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews