Meer dan mooi

by Anuschka Rees

Met meer dan 600 herkenbare quotes, concrete adviezen voor een positiever zelfbeeld en een inleiding van Tatjana Almuli, auteur van Knap voor een dik meisje

Op social media, tv en in bladen worden we overspoeld met beelden van mensen die volgens de algemeen geldende normen knap en succesvol zijn. Zogenaamd perfecte lippen, wenkbrauwen en maten: ronduit giftige schoonheidsidealen bepalen hoe we naar onszelf kijken. Het gevolg? Een meerderheid van de vrouwen is ontevreden over haar uiterlijk.
In Meer dan mooi laat Anuschka Rees zien dat we gelukkiger en zelfverzekerder zijn als we onszelf niet langer langs die onmogelijke lat leggen. Ze maakt een einde aan onzinnige beautymythes en eindeloze rituelen en leert ons neutraler naar ons lichaam te kijken. Deze gids over bodyneutrality is een verademing voor iedereen die het zat is onzeker te zijn.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Feminism, Psychology, Health, Personal Development, Womens

224 pages, Hardcover

First published May 14, 2019

About the author

Anuschka Rees is a writer, ex-serial-dieter, and former beauty-fanatic. Despite growing up in the era of female empowerment and body positivity, she spent much of her twenties trying to fix yet another imagined “flaw,” researching diets, and comparing herself to attractive people on Instagram. Eventually she decided to put her INTJ mind to good use and see if she could find concrete, applicable advice for women like her, whose insecurities are keeping them from living their best life. Anuschka’s first book The Curated Closet was a bestseller and has been translated into five languages. She lives in Berlin, Germany with her cats, books, and boyfriend.

Reviews

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's hard to review intentions. Good intent is highly valuable and if I were to review the book based on this alone, it could easily be one of the best books ever written. Good intentions aside, the book felt rushed, and the advice felt thin. In the end if one has read the book Beauty Sick, which offers a highly detailed, thorough examination and "exhumation" of the world's beauty standards they'd understand why it's truly pointless to base one's self worth on unrealistic standards which are basically sales tactics. In comparison Beyond Beauty gives a brief summary of the most common issues at hand, (12 chapters with each subheading lasting no more than a few paragraphs) and is a quick read at 202 pages. It introduces no revolutionary insight regarding our dilemma with beauty and the obsession with our looks. However in a world where likes and follows matter more and more, there simply isn't enough reading material out there on this subject. I'd read Beauty Sick first, then read this for emphasis.

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm glad if this book helps people. It just felt very thin to me and didn't actually ever get beyond beautiful. I suppose one of the gifts of not being a sexy person is that you don't ever base your self worth on your sexiness. The things in this book seemed very geared toward women who had a lot of their identity centered on their attractiveness. It's a book about moving beyond beauty for beautiful women. It also never addresses the negative thoughts people have about other people and how learning to value yourself beyond your looks also means learning to value others - especially strangers - beyond theirs. It never mentions how we might be part of the problem in reinforcing the beauty/power dynamic when it comes to how we view and think about other people. I think rather than this book I would recommend "The Body Is Not An Apology."

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were a few points I found useful, but most of this, I had personally heard before (and my body image is still pretty shaky). I thought this book over-simplified things quite a bit, because while we all may be worthy of love no matter what we look like, the truth is, we do get judged based on looks. I hate to say this, but...the author is conventionally attractive, so maybe she isn't aware of the extent to which this happens. If we're fat or odd looking, we DO get passed over at work, laughed at on the beach, ignored in social situations, etc. So how can we deal with this reality AND do our part to actually change the culture?

[Anna lost in stories *A* · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an absolutely wonderful book and I highly recommend all of you to pick it up... definitely helpful to gain some healthy perspective in our crazy world, with some practical tools to change your thinking :) I will definitely keep going back to it on a regular basis :)

XOXO

A

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not nearly as in-depth as I expected. I had some social media exchanges with the author that led me to believe this book would really challenge my self-perception and even the way I look at other people, but it didn't do that. The writing felt light, like a Cosmo magazine article, and there was very little information that was new to me. The history it gives of the perception of women's bodies is almost comically cursory (it lumps all of pre-20th century history together, for one thing), and other sections similarly have little detail.
The book contradicts its own thesis as well, talking about you shouldn't base your happiness on your looks, but still focusing on trying to make you like how you look (with advice like "every time you look in the mirror, find something you like about your appearance"). As someone who is pretty happy with how she looks, but still spends a lot of time thinking about it, I was hoping this book would help me learn to pay less attention to my appearance and derive less of my self-esteem from it, but that was not the case.
I do think this book might be good for teens or others that have never learned to think critically about advertisements, the beauty industry, etc.

[Isabelle✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the strong feminist themes in this one. Great to examine your biases.

[Caroline Ashby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm giving this 5 stars but I might change my mind later? I read it over the course of 3 days (audiobook) and I didn't really factor in the time to do the thought exercises and really engage on a deeper level. That said though, this book has given me a ton to think about and I've been starting conversations about it with anyone who will listen.

What's different about the "love yourself" message of this book from so many other ~body posi~ works is that the emphasis isn't on YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL; rather, the message is IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

This is so hard to wrap my head around! Sure, on a surface level I get that "looks aren't everything" and I think most normal humans believe (or pretend to believe) this way. But the things we do outwardly with our appearance just to come across and "put together" and actively trying fit into some kind of beauty ideals are potentially much more harmful than we realize. This book discusses how many of the things we do to alter our appearance originated by nothing more than an effective marketing campaign from a company run by men. The fact that body hair on women is often viewed as unhygienic or sloppy specifically comes from men who wanted to sell a product. The book goes into so many more specifics like this, and it's eye-opening and infuriating to think about.

The author urges us to think about the time we spend daily concerned with our appearance. This can come in the form of applying makeup, hairstyling, counting calories, beauty regimens, cosmetic surgery, skin tanning or lightening, working out excessively, wearing uncomfortable clothes and shoes, etc etc etc. I think there are lots of women who would argue that they do these things for themselves, just to feel good. And in and of themselves these things are not good or bad! But as the reader we are challenged to think about the deeper reason that it makes us feel good to do these things. And that's what gets hard. I've always been a person who shaves my legs every time I get in the shower. I do this because I like the smooth feeling of getting under the sheets with freshly shaved legs every night. But also, WHY do I like that? Why is smooth and hairless preferable to me over soft and stubbly? I think because I just learned that that was what was most desirable.

This review is kind of all over the place, but I wanted to illustrate how much this book has made me think about and also just as notes for myself to come back to. I'd recommend this book for literally anyone who wants to challenge themselves and how they see their bodies and the bodies of others. The idea that our looks don't matter is honestly much more revolutionary than I expected and was ready for, but I'm glad I was exposed to it and feel like I have so much growing left to do!

[Anastasiia Mozghova · Rating 4 out of 5]

хочется подарить эту книгу всем девочкам, девушкам, женщинам в надежде на то, что они увидят, что постоянное стремление к ‘улучшению своей внешности’ — это ложная цель и обман.

некоторые фразы и формулировки показались мне банальными или недостаточно глубокими, но в остальном книга понравилась и показалась важной и нужной.

[Susannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up to read because the value placed on women's appearance, and subsequently their worth as people in society, is an issue I have been interested in for a while. The essence of the book is that it is fine for women to value their appearance as a part of their identity, but it should not form the sole basis upon which to base their self worth. Rees wants women to realise that they are much more than how they look, and to stop giving so much importance to the so-called flaws in their physical appearance that they believe brings down their value as human beings. Looking good is just one of many qualities that women can base their self-worth upon.

Rees explores her ideas in chapters looking at the role the media plays, beauty standards in general, and at social media, among others. The book also contains quotes from over 600 people who filled out a survey Rees conducted on body image. Most of the 12 chapters are accompanied by a "Beyond Beautiful Toolbox" with exercises to help you move beyond giving undue importance to your appearance above that of your other qualities. There is also a Bibliography with sources used for each chapter.

I found this book to be a very useful summary of an issue that primarily affects women more than men, and a succinct overview of where women are at today in moving beyond appearance based self-worth. Although getting over a lifetime's worth of messages from society about how women ought to look is much easier said than done, this book is a very good starting point with some practical tips at taking those first steps.

[Abi · Rating 5 out of 5]

RT SO MUCH

Our physical appearance and body image affect our lives in insidious ways - whether we think so or not.

Questions that can serve as food for thought or a launchpad to deeper reflection:

-How would I behave differently if I looked different? Why don’t I behave like that now?
-If exercise has no impact on my appearance and was instead based on how the exercise made me feel, what would I change to my routine? Why don’t I do that routine now?
-Ditto for dressing based on your “body type”. How would I dress if I had my ideal body?
-Do I use healthy eating as a status symbol?
-Do I conflate fashion and hygiene? (e.g. thinking that body hair is unhygienic when it’s really just unfashionable)

(Note for those interested: While this book was curated by a white author, it does try to address Eurocentric ideals/different cultural standards from interviewing WOC. It falls flat in that regard but I think the book encouraged me to look for further reading material!)

[Emily Hampton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had some great thoughts to consider and share. I liked how she broke body image down into three parts (your mental picture of yourself, your emotional reaction to that picture, and the actions you take as a result of that picture/emotion).

I wish that she had dug into the roots of mainstream body positivity, which come from a more radical place of fat liberation and advocacy for the most marginalized bodies. I think those origins shine a light on how body positivity /“self love” have become another standard for women to reach, instead of a radical lens to frame your world and sense of justice.

But I think as a starting point, this book is beautifully designed and gently written. A great book to share with a friend who is struggling, or to read as a reminder to be kinder to yourself.

[Maribel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for women who have ever thought negatively about their bodies. The advice is practical and always ties back to the main point that our routines and behaviors are influenced by others and we don't have to let beauty be the most important thing about ourselves.

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book still seemed focused on physical appearance instead of focusing on why our appearance shouldn’t matter at all. It’s also aimed to younger generations and doesn’t have a lot of new material that isn’t already available.

[charlie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I do appreciate what this book aims to do and the activities and reflection questions are useful, but overall I found it to just barely scratch the surface of what really tugs at “body confidence,” which is *actual size oppression.* It felt like the author had the potential to really dive in deeper to more systemic issues but didn’t quite get all the way there. No mention whatsoever of fat phobia, somehow makes intuitive eating sound like it has rules, uses oppressive language such as “obesity,” and mentions having a “thin version and fat version” of her body - she does not live in a larger body and this language completely side swipes the fat positive movement. I suppose this would be a decent read for someone brand new to the topic and who lives in a thinner, white, able body, but for those looking to read further on Health at Every Size, fat liberation, intersectionality, history of racism within beauty standards, etc., I’d suggest other reading.

[Deonne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent!!! I didn't realize I could simply have a healthier kinder body image of myself. Who knew. Very freeing. I'm enjoying minimal beauty basics and movement for the next week. See what I'm actually truly missing by the end.

[Renske · Rating 4 out of 5]

Iedere vrouw moet dit lezen

[Regan Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I’ve read about (first world) society’s unrealistic beauty standards, and it’s made me hungry for more. In particular, it’s made me really interested in how much of social media unreal.

The book has “toolkit”-style sections that give advice related to issues discussed in that chapter. I really liked those sections. There was a time in my life when I would have really benefited from that advice (for me, that was in my teens and early twenties). I wonder if reading this would have made life a little less painful as a teen.

The book also has answers from a survey that over 600 women and an undisclosed (I think) number of men answered. Reading the survey answers was the most interesting part for me (and P.S.: one of those answers is mine!).

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Takes into account current pressures that women face to be beautiful. Readable and accessible, with a variety of views from people, including some from people of colour and I think one queer person. The art is very pretty, which may actually work against the message of the book; I would have liked to see some images of older women or women of colour who are doing their thing without worrying about pursuing beauty. I think that would have increased the impact of this book. (Or even add links to real people's social media accounts, for instance)

It does offer some questions and suggested tools to help. The most useful to me was the idea of eating plan without a plan. But it's not that in-depth, such as on the issue of trans women and standards of beauty, or it could maybe even benefit from the perspective of men who have their own version of these pressures. There's some good anecdotes from the author, but I was more interested in getting to know the various people whose words are included.

[Berry · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is honest. Too honest that you will be defensive while reading it. And people don’t like too much honesty. We like our truths – partial truths packed with sugar-coated lies simply because it makes us feel better, you know… not hearing raw facts, most especially when the topic at hand includes body image.

This is supposed to help the readers overcome body shaming or show the correct way of handling body image-related issues which include ageing, social media, beauty standards, cosmetic surgery and a lot more. Very interesting and insightful, if I may say.

READ FULL REVIEW HERE:

https://wordpress.com/post/berryduche...

[Pugarette · Rating 3 out of 5]

As much as I want to love this book, I didn’t love it. I liked it. I think it brings up some good points about self-perception and while it can give a little bit of advice, that’s it, it’s just a little bit. Whenever I thought we would go into a more in depth discussion, it fell flat. The concepts in the book are nothing new, they are just all conveniently complicated. Particularly for me, the end felt rushed and the conclusion too short and too simplistic, as well as the ‘clapbacks and exercises’. I would have loved to read more and more in depth. Not a bad book per se, but it could be better!

[Samantha Olson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Honestly, I felt like Rees tackled a LOT in just 12 chapters--an entire book could have EASILY been dedicated to each topic covered--so keep that in mind with her approach in discussing body image. I loved the reflective questions and toolbox ideas that she presented in the book. I feel that I have a fairly positive if not neutral body image, but this book gave me some things to think about in terms of my internal process. Would highly recommend to anyone wanting to challenge themselves and the direction our society and culture seem to be heading when it comes to body image.

[Heather Elrod · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve ever struggled with your body image I highly encourage you to read this book.
The writer approaches the topic with science, studies and real life conversations that help us pull away from the obsession of being desirable or attractive and hone in on the real parts of us that actually bring us joy in life.
I feel like this quote from Glennon Doyle sums the book up well. “stop spending all day obsessing, cursing and perfecting your body like it’s all you have to give to the world. Your life is your masterpiece.”

[Melisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

EXCELLENT. A quick read, full of "a-ha!" and "oh-duh!" moments. The author isn't necessarily saying something we don't know, but laying it all out in clear reminders, with some interesting statistics to back up her arguments. She also provides reflection questions every few chapters, so we as readers can apply what we're reading about to our personal lives. I feel refreshed and happier after reading this book.

[Emily Chandler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a thought-provoking journey written in accessible language, which I think many people of all ages would benefit from reading. I would have loved a little more on the white beauty standards women of colour are pressured to live up to, but otherwise it's a delight. I'll be buying a copy for my sister, who is raising three daughters.

[Anne White]

This book is aimed at a younger demographic than mine, and its frequent use of profanity makes that obvious. However, it should find a large readership among those looking for an up-to-date, honest resource for discussion of this important issue (and the point is that in a perfect world it would be a non-issue).

[Pia Bröker]

A book I should probably re-read every time I feel insecure about some part of my body. Just to feel empowered that all is alright and there is no need to feel ashamed or to try to hide anything.

Girls, women, gender non-conforming pals, and even boys and men: I am sorry this world tells us something is wrong with the way we look.
There is really nothing wrong. We are all beyond beautiful.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rounding up from 3.5. I’m glad I read it and it reignited my interest in body neutrality and had a lot of good reminders. I liked the anecdotes/commentary from real people and it was relatable. Not a ton of depth or practical solutions/exercises, but still very much worth a read.

[Markie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely a good read for those who feel disempowered by a looks driven society. Even as adult women we influenced by societies standards. Think about all the glamorous pictures that you have of yourself. What standards are being shown there? Did you filter those? Are you still unhappy with what you look like? The big picture here is to get our validation internally not just externally she provides some reflection activities throughout the book she questions why we do certain beauty regimens does is bring us happiness because we are creative or just a superficial thing?It made me reflect on my own life. Like I would like to go to work and not wear make up. But I feel like people would ask if I was tired. I think makeup can be both a creative, but also a disempowering force.

In the face of societies standards, we should be able to say no I don’t want to dress or to do a make up routine like that because it doesn’t bring any value internally. For example, I am going to go to work a few days without make up I don’t care people say if I have, I’m tired or not, on the other hand, I like wearing make up I just don’t want it to be forced upon me. I think it can be very creative and it can enhance our already beautiful features.

The only thing I didn’t like about the book is that it is very adamant, and that you should question everything you do, including health and fitness routines. I think, and she does go over this somewhat, that health and nutrition is beneficial and is not just a societal expectation. Also, it is a uncomfortable read when the author or questions every little thing you do. Sometimes you just want to be conventionally beautiful and this can feel good internally when you have a great day and you look fabulous. Don’t give me wrong. I love that she emphasizes internally being satisfied.

[Leslie Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! She put words to frustrations with body image, self-care, and fashion that I had been stewing over for years. The history on different social norms was fascinating and her tangible steps and things to think about are great. Made for excellent discussion and food for thought!

[Angelica Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was another recommendation from my favorite podcast. I don’t really have any issues with my body, but there were a lot of good tips for confidence in general. I love books that leave me feeling empowered afterward!