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All My Friends Are Invisible: the inspirational childhood memoir
*A mesmeric, harrowing and ultimately uplifting childhood memoir about identity, family and mental health that has touched so many readers around the world*
'So raw and full of so many emotions. I didn't want the book to end' @ftsworld
'It's hard to put into words how sacred this book is' @lisainthecity27
'I've literally read it in one sitting. Glued to every single word' @lorencoles
'Thank you for shining a light on 'different' children. Thank you for showing that there is no normal. But most of all thank you for proving that even when it's hard to make friends...there is always someone looking out for you' @gabrielle.rea
It was an ordinary day in 2016. In Gatwick Airport, Jonathan and his wife Anna were having breakfast with their two little children while waiting for their flight to be called. And then it happened, a familiar sensation that Jonathan hadn't had for an out-of-body experience that transported him to another place, the safe place he used to escape to in his mind when he was a boy.
Because growing up in conservative 1980s Dublin, where there was little tolerance for children who were 'different', Jonathan Joly was, indeed, a different sort of creative, expressive, and - on the inside - a girl. The limitations of the people around him to understand his differences led to years of tyrannical bullying and abuse, forcing him to withdraw within himself to the point of clinical absence. His only chance for survival was the inner world he created for himself, rich with loving and supportive friends and playmates, that only he could see. Jonathan's invisible friends were his lifeline, and on that day at the airport, they came flooding back, and have remained with him to this day.
This extraordinary childhood memoir is not only an important, thought-provoking and exhilarating read, it gives hope and community for all those who have ever felt 'other', and proves how vital it is to provide children with the safe space to be themselves.
In All My Friends are Invisible, Jonathan Joly, known widely as one of social media's most successful content creators, shares the secret he's kept hidden these many years. He shows the beautiful world he retreated to time and time again when life was unbearable for his 'skin machine'. Most importantly, he introduces us to his invisible friends, and in so doing you may be transported back to the friends you had as a child that no one else could see, and who may have saved you, too.
'This will blow you away'- Stylist
'Joly's prose is sensitive and heartbreaking...darkly compelling' - Business Post
'An extraordinary and thought-provoking memoir' - Belfast Telegraph
'So raw and full of so many emotions. I didn't want the book to end' @ftsworld
'It's hard to put into words how sacred this book is' @lisainthecity27
'I've literally read it in one sitting. Glued to every single word' @lorencoles
'Thank you for shining a light on 'different' children. Thank you for showing that there is no normal. But most of all thank you for proving that even when it's hard to make friends...there is always someone looking out for you' @gabrielle.rea
It was an ordinary day in 2016. In Gatwick Airport, Jonathan and his wife Anna were having breakfast with their two little children while waiting for their flight to be called. And then it happened, a familiar sensation that Jonathan hadn't had for an out-of-body experience that transported him to another place, the safe place he used to escape to in his mind when he was a boy.
Because growing up in conservative 1980s Dublin, where there was little tolerance for children who were 'different', Jonathan Joly was, indeed, a different sort of creative, expressive, and - on the inside - a girl. The limitations of the people around him to understand his differences led to years of tyrannical bullying and abuse, forcing him to withdraw within himself to the point of clinical absence. His only chance for survival was the inner world he created for himself, rich with loving and supportive friends and playmates, that only he could see. Jonathan's invisible friends were his lifeline, and on that day at the airport, they came flooding back, and have remained with him to this day.
This extraordinary childhood memoir is not only an important, thought-provoking and exhilarating read, it gives hope and community for all those who have ever felt 'other', and proves how vital it is to provide children with the safe space to be themselves.
In All My Friends are Invisible, Jonathan Joly, known widely as one of social media's most successful content creators, shares the secret he's kept hidden these many years. He shows the beautiful world he retreated to time and time again when life was unbearable for his 'skin machine'. Most importantly, he introduces us to his invisible friends, and in so doing you may be transported back to the friends you had as a child that no one else could see, and who may have saved you, too.
'This will blow you away'- Stylist
'Joly's prose is sensitive and heartbreaking...darkly compelling' - Business Post
'An extraordinary and thought-provoking memoir' - Belfast Telegraph
184 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2022
35 people are currently reading
338 people want to read
About the author
Jonathan Joly
2 books14 followersJonathan Joly is an Irish, Dublin-born youtuber and author. He lives with his wife Anna, their four children and six Maltese dogs in Surrey, UK.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 126 reviews
December 8, 2021
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This book was all over the place. One minute it was describing random details about Ireland, the next it was retelling a story of child abuse and then suddenly it’d move on to some fantastical story about a make believe world which was described so vividly it was jarring with the rest of the narrative.
It’s a sad story if true (and I suspect large elements are untrue) but very badly told. The dialogue doesn’t fit the supposed age of the narrator and all in all I just came out of this book feeling a bit strange. I hope the guy gets professional help as it sounds like he needs it.
This book was all over the place. One minute it was describing random details about Ireland, the next it was retelling a story of child abuse and then suddenly it’d move on to some fantastical story about a make believe world which was described so vividly it was jarring with the rest of the narrative.
It’s a sad story if true (and I suspect large elements are untrue) but very badly told. The dialogue doesn’t fit the supposed age of the narrator and all in all I just came out of this book feeling a bit strange. I hope the guy gets professional help as it sounds like he needs it.
January 20, 2022
As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I jumped at the chance to review what promised to be a story based on the ideas of gender and sexuality, framed in the life of a man growing up in rural Ireland.
I was not only disappointed, but verging on angry, with the meandering narrative so far from what it promised to be, and feel the author has used what they deem to be a 'market' and wrote a book to fit what they think that audience wants: rather than a story honouring a journey that is painful and heartbreaking for many, if not ultimately joyous.
The 'why' is missing from this book, which leaves its heart lacking (along with a believable narrative structure and decent writing).
Mostly, I am heartbroken for every queer storyteller who has been struggling to find a publisher/agent to publish their story, while this book gets published – presumably – due to what I believe to be a significant social media following.
I was not only disappointed, but verging on angry, with the meandering narrative so far from what it promised to be, and feel the author has used what they deem to be a 'market' and wrote a book to fit what they think that audience wants: rather than a story honouring a journey that is painful and heartbreaking for many, if not ultimately joyous.
The 'why' is missing from this book, which leaves its heart lacking (along with a believable narrative structure and decent writing).
Mostly, I am heartbroken for every queer storyteller who has been struggling to find a publisher/agent to publish their story, while this book gets published – presumably – due to what I believe to be a significant social media following.
January 9, 2022
Wish I could give this 0 stars! The writing and structure of this book is a complete and utter mess. As someone who was abused at the same age as the author claims to also have been abused, I find it highly unbelievable that he could describe these events (which I’m not sure even constitute abuse) with such detail. Traumatic memories are, by their nature, deeply harmful and traumatic and the human brain usually represses these memories. It is nonsensical that Jonathan would be able to recall these events in such painstaking detail, especially given his age. It is completely unbelievable. The book itself is disjointed and fragmented in its writing and very poor overall. I did not know much about the author but can see that he is part of a YouTube channel which documents his family life. If he claims to have been traumatised to such a horrific extent, I have to question why he allows millions of people to watch his children online grow up and watch many private and sensitive moments. It is clear that this book is a poor attempt to gain attention and rekindle his failing and exploitative career. Advice? Don’t waste your time reading this book.
December 8, 2021
Wow…. What an utter mess of a book, it’d be better to have been written as a fictional story as none of it adds up! The book maybe has hints of the truth but a lot of it doesn’t add up with stories or events retold on the vlogs and videos. For a man so miserable as a child seems odd he would even want this published. Despite the fact he thinks there are lessons here, you can tell they don’t match up, aka the knickers story, I don’t doubt he didn’t enjoy school but boy was that a waste of time
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 23, 2021
I confess that I've never heard of Jonathan Joly, so had up Google him. Turns out he is part of a famous YouTube family, just one I've never heard of.
I was intrigued by the premise of this book. It details Jonathan's very early life in which he escapes to an imaginary world to cope with a lack of acceptance for the child that he is or wants to be.
It is a most confusing, jumbled up book which needs some serious re-editing to pull it back together. I don't know if it's an attempt at a very directed stream of consciousness, but I feel that Jonathan has just detailed every single thing that he can remember about his life with no continuous thread to pull it all together. This book reads more like a work of fiction and I found a lot of it unbelievable. I struggle with the idea that a man in his forties can remember his childhood in such vivid detail. Yes, we all remember snippets of early life, but not in as much detail.
My biggest issue with the book, apart from the fact it is poorly written, is that I don't know what the point of it is? It just felt very self-indulgent and egocentric to me, but I guess that is the nature of 'modern celebrity' these days. I feel like a lot of celebs and non celebs bring out a book as it's the next step for them, but sometimes just because you can doesn't mean you should.
I probably wouldn't have read this book ordinarily, so it was interesting to try something new, but it's not one I'd recommend.
I was intrigued by the premise of this book. It details Jonathan's very early life in which he escapes to an imaginary world to cope with a lack of acceptance for the child that he is or wants to be.
It is a most confusing, jumbled up book which needs some serious re-editing to pull it back together. I don't know if it's an attempt at a very directed stream of consciousness, but I feel that Jonathan has just detailed every single thing that he can remember about his life with no continuous thread to pull it all together. This book reads more like a work of fiction and I found a lot of it unbelievable. I struggle with the idea that a man in his forties can remember his childhood in such vivid detail. Yes, we all remember snippets of early life, but not in as much detail.
My biggest issue with the book, apart from the fact it is poorly written, is that I don't know what the point of it is? It just felt very self-indulgent and egocentric to me, but I guess that is the nature of 'modern celebrity' these days. I feel like a lot of celebs and non celebs bring out a book as it's the next step for them, but sometimes just because you can doesn't mean you should.
I probably wouldn't have read this book ordinarily, so it was interesting to try something new, but it's not one I'd recommend.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 10, 2022
If it was possible to give a 0* review I would.
Not only is the narrative of this book jumbled, it reads as a story not a non fiction.
It shows as just another influencer jumping on the bandwagon and is an insult to all of those who are struggling with their gender and mental health.
Not only is the narrative of this book jumbled, it reads as a story not a non fiction.
It shows as just another influencer jumping on the bandwagon and is an insult to all of those who are struggling with their gender and mental health.
January 26, 2022
Okay. So, I came into this book with an open mind, after being sent it. I honestly put aside all assumptions and preconceptions in order to give this an impartial review. I am aware that the author of this book will attempt to frame this review as 'hate' or 'gaslighting', rather than just an honest review that I have written after reading this book.
So, I read this book and was so confused by the structure. It felt very disjointed and unbelievable at some points. The story and narrative simply doesn't make sense at all. I thought the book was a fiction book at points, due to its strange stories and nonsensical writings. It made me very uncomfortable and it lacked an aim. He says that he was abused (which I cannot say if this is true or untrue) but then exposes and exploits his children online. I truly hope the author receives help and provides his children with a better upbringing than he purportedly had.
I am aware that the author suggests that people shouldn't seek mental health help as mental health issues "do not need to be fixed, but accepted". This is such a dangerous narrative. Mental health issues are not personality quirks that society should accept and encourage. They are illnesses which should be met with professional support and structured help. What Jonathan describes is concerning. I will not go into the specifics but encouraging his fans to accept these kind of hallucinations is truly worrying.
I find this book extremely demeaning and a complete insult to those who are genuinely struggling with mental health issues. If this man did not have a platform on social media platforms, this book would never have been published.
Please, save your money and time and instead delve into other biographies which offer genuine and moving accounts of other lives which have a clear aim and lesson to learn.
So, I read this book and was so confused by the structure. It felt very disjointed and unbelievable at some points. The story and narrative simply doesn't make sense at all. I thought the book was a fiction book at points, due to its strange stories and nonsensical writings. It made me very uncomfortable and it lacked an aim. He says that he was abused (which I cannot say if this is true or untrue) but then exposes and exploits his children online. I truly hope the author receives help and provides his children with a better upbringing than he purportedly had.
I am aware that the author suggests that people shouldn't seek mental health help as mental health issues "do not need to be fixed, but accepted". This is such a dangerous narrative. Mental health issues are not personality quirks that society should accept and encourage. They are illnesses which should be met with professional support and structured help. What Jonathan describes is concerning. I will not go into the specifics but encouraging his fans to accept these kind of hallucinations is truly worrying.
I find this book extremely demeaning and a complete insult to those who are genuinely struggling with mental health issues. If this man did not have a platform on social media platforms, this book would never have been published.
Please, save your money and time and instead delve into other biographies which offer genuine and moving accounts of other lives which have a clear aim and lesson to learn.
January 10, 2022
I just have one thing to say about this book: I am glad I did not have to pay for it but I will never get back to time it took me to read it (thank good it is short].
January 27, 2022
Received a copy of this 'book' early. Wish I could give it 0 stars. It is absolutely fabricated and poorly written. I am astonished this has been published and beg anyone who is considering reading it to save their time - it truly is awful.
January 11, 2022
Thank you to netgalley for providing me with an advanced reader copy in return of an honest review.
I don’t really know where to begin with writing a review for this book. I have been in a reading slump for the last couple of months and have got maybe 2 or 3 chapters in and DNFed a lot of books, but this was different - I couldn’t put it down, and had I not started it late at night, I think I could have read in one sitting. I think this is an extremely good feature of a book, griping it’s reader.
Having said that however, I feel my review needs to reflect that this book is said to be childhood memoir, and I feel it reads very much as a fictional novel.
I do not want to doubt that aspects of the story are true, and that the author had severe mental health issues as a child, but I think the key word here is story. I am not a medical professional, but it does make me wonder if at the time of writing they were experiencing an episode which led to the things written in this book, and I truly hope that they are seeking professional help.
The anecdotes are extremely vivid and detailed - narrating almost minute by minute, word for word of a day that happened to a 4 year old, over 30 years ago. To me, this is wildly unbelievable - maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t be able to describe what happened in my life 2 days ago as detailed as the days in the book are. Aspects come across as a very fabricated story, which makes it hard for me to read and take onboard as being factual. Despite this, the stories told did have my hooked, but as if I was reading the life of a character.
With reference to the writing, I found this very jumbled. The narrator voice seemed to jump with no rhyme or reason and it was hard to know when in time things were. Is this child Jonathan speaking, or adult Jonathan, currently writing the book, reflecting on child Jonathan’s thoughts - a different font or colour perhaps may have helped here.
I also found it hard to follow - we started the book in almost current day (a couple of years ago) at an airport, and then the entirety of the book after this was set 30+ years ago. I was kind of expecting/hoping that at the end we would return to current day, having explained the world of domdie. However now I am left wondering what the purpose of retelling the story was. Where is he now? Is Giselle still around? Does he still visit Domdie? Does he still have a relationship with his family? Has he ever spoken to them about this? What next?
I don’t really know where to begin with writing a review for this book. I have been in a reading slump for the last couple of months and have got maybe 2 or 3 chapters in and DNFed a lot of books, but this was different - I couldn’t put it down, and had I not started it late at night, I think I could have read in one sitting. I think this is an extremely good feature of a book, griping it’s reader.
Having said that however, I feel my review needs to reflect that this book is said to be childhood memoir, and I feel it reads very much as a fictional novel.
I do not want to doubt that aspects of the story are true, and that the author had severe mental health issues as a child, but I think the key word here is story. I am not a medical professional, but it does make me wonder if at the time of writing they were experiencing an episode which led to the things written in this book, and I truly hope that they are seeking professional help.
The anecdotes are extremely vivid and detailed - narrating almost minute by minute, word for word of a day that happened to a 4 year old, over 30 years ago. To me, this is wildly unbelievable - maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t be able to describe what happened in my life 2 days ago as detailed as the days in the book are. Aspects come across as a very fabricated story, which makes it hard for me to read and take onboard as being factual. Despite this, the stories told did have my hooked, but as if I was reading the life of a character.
With reference to the writing, I found this very jumbled. The narrator voice seemed to jump with no rhyme or reason and it was hard to know when in time things were. Is this child Jonathan speaking, or adult Jonathan, currently writing the book, reflecting on child Jonathan’s thoughts - a different font or colour perhaps may have helped here.
I also found it hard to follow - we started the book in almost current day (a couple of years ago) at an airport, and then the entirety of the book after this was set 30+ years ago. I was kind of expecting/hoping that at the end we would return to current day, having explained the world of domdie. However now I am left wondering what the purpose of retelling the story was. Where is he now? Is Giselle still around? Does he still visit Domdie? Does he still have a relationship with his family? Has he ever spoken to them about this? What next?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 31, 2022
Honestly this is one of the worst books I have read in a long time. The writing is terrible, and is incredibly simplistic for the audience it is intended for. The book feels completely unedited with the plot everywhere. One minute you are in the present moment with Jonathon and the next minute you are somewhere between reality and fiction in "Domidie". There are also points in the book where the writing changes tense and then flips back with no warning. Lets not forget the painful descriptions of everything that happens, for example at the beginning of the book Jonathan describes the breakfast, he, Anna and the kids had at Costa; this information is completely unnecessary and would of been sorted if edited properly.
The opening line is the most cliché thing ever "I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out where to start this story"- an opening line should draw the reader in and leave them wanting more, but this just falls flat for me. We then follow Jonathan as a dad in Gatwick airport, as he has what only can be described as an outer body experience. The writing is melodramatic and unnecessary. He is then transported back to "Domidie" which was apart of his childhood. "Domidie" could be a whole host of different things it's quite hard to tell due to the poor writing, at the beginning it sounds like a panic attack, then other parts feel like maladaptive daydreaming or even a hallucination . The story then Jumps back to Jonathan being three years old. I would love to know how he has the ability to recall his memories in excruciating detail, this leaves me not knowing what is real or fiction. The chapters follow him as he gets older and relies more and more on "Domidie" to survive. Jonathan talks of his parents toxic relationship, and his experiences growing up in a boys school in rural Ireland. The book has no real plot and feels like you are reading fiction, and the ending is sudden and jarring, and would have been better for the book to end with Jonathan now in the present day reflecting on his childhood as he finishes the book. I struggle to see this book as a memoir as it does not span his life to date as a memoir normally would. This would have made for a better fiction book overall. I really do hope that Jonathan seeks professional help, as what ever the cause of "Domidie" is it deserves help and treatment.
The opening line is the most cliché thing ever "I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out where to start this story"- an opening line should draw the reader in and leave them wanting more, but this just falls flat for me. We then follow Jonathan as a dad in Gatwick airport, as he has what only can be described as an outer body experience. The writing is melodramatic and unnecessary. He is then transported back to "Domidie" which was apart of his childhood. "Domidie" could be a whole host of different things it's quite hard to tell due to the poor writing, at the beginning it sounds like a panic attack, then other parts feel like maladaptive daydreaming or even a hallucination . The story then Jumps back to Jonathan being three years old. I would love to know how he has the ability to recall his memories in excruciating detail, this leaves me not knowing what is real or fiction. The chapters follow him as he gets older and relies more and more on "Domidie" to survive. Jonathan talks of his parents toxic relationship, and his experiences growing up in a boys school in rural Ireland. The book has no real plot and feels like you are reading fiction, and the ending is sudden and jarring, and would have been better for the book to end with Jonathan now in the present day reflecting on his childhood as he finishes the book. I struggle to see this book as a memoir as it does not span his life to date as a memoir normally would. This would have made for a better fiction book overall. I really do hope that Jonathan seeks professional help, as what ever the cause of "Domidie" is it deserves help and treatment.
December 21, 2021
A curious book which left me with a lot of questions about whether the author might have done better doing some work on himself off the page first. I'll be interested to see what the trans community think of it, and to hear if the ending is elaborated on at all. The edition I read had a highly dramatic first chapter which the author just seems to 'grow out of' rather than engaging with any bigger questions about identity. It's a curiosity when viewed alone, but made me feel rather uncomfortable alongside his significant social media profile.
February 3, 2022
Honestly seems like a slap in the face to the LGBTQ+ community. No one struggling with mental health should read this. I can’t even put into words how wrong this book is. Gross
February 2, 2022
I don't know if I should be writing a review because I couldn't finish the book. The story was all over the place and extremely hard to follow. This book needs to be re-edited or should have had a ghost writer as it was terribly written. The graphic details the author provides from a young age leads me to believe that part of this story is fiction. I do not recommend!
January 8, 2022
I've been a fan of the sacconeholys for years since 2014. They were always a fun family to watch on YouTube. The last year though Jonathan has been talking about his true self so inwas curious about the book which is why I asked for an advanced copy. This was a confusing book. It reads more like fiction then non fiction. Of Jonathan ever wants to write a fantasy book he could probably pull it off The way be made it sound on YouTube was this big revulation about his true self which I was intrigued by. However all it is is that he had invisible friends at a young age to cope with abuse. This honestly seems completely normal to me for him to have done. Most kids have coping mechanisms when they have been abused and a lot of kids had invisible friends growing up. Maybe it's more mainstream now or maybe it was where I grew up but I was rather confused by the entire thing as what the issue was. He wanted to be a girl that part I could understand why he hide understandable. The thing that's confused me is he claims in the beginning of the book this all has come back and his invisible friends have returned. Its briefly mentioned but then it goes into his childhood. There is a major opportunity missed here because it should have swung back to present day Jonathan but it doesn't so your left thinking what was the purpose of this? What true self is he now talking about. It would have been better if it was more explained from present Jonathan connecting to past Jonathan. There should have been alternative pov's In a nutshell we see kid jonthans true self but not adult Jonathan's true self which honestly I would prefer having read. We only see present Jonathan briefly at the beginning to explain his break down. The structure of the book needs editing honestly it needs more explanation because it just comes across kid hiding from the world with invisible friends due to abuse. There is nothing wrong with that but it just doesn't add up to the narrative on YouTube or instagram we have been getting which left me feeling like I was missing something. It was an easy read and I felt horrible for Jonathan with the abuse. I dont know how else to review this because I'm left feeling confused.
February 5, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley for a free copy of this book in exchange for a review.
I feel bad rating this book as I did, as it was clearly the heartfelt words of somebody, but I'll explain why. Firstly, the opening chapter really grabbed me and I had high hopes but then it seemed to just change from there, with no warning. We never go back or really see the significance of this.
Secondly, the writing is fairly beginner, and seems very indulgent on the part of the author. He talks about what seems like a fairly normal life growing up in the 80s, but seems to view it as abusive and poverty stricken. In fairness, growing up working class myself, it seems far more extravagant that my own life and yet I'm not narcissistic enough to think anybody would care about my life. In fact I have read autobiographies of extremely talented and well-admired celebrities that come across far more humble than this.
He documents feeling 'other' his whole life and not wanting to be a girl, however he doesn't really explain this very well. As I recall in the 80s and 90s, toys were all unisex and so were hobbies. I played football and tag with the boys and you wouldn't have seen me dead in a skirt, but nobody would ever have called me a boy. I never felt of myself as a boy. Joly seems to be talking of very cliché things here, eg doesn't want to play football as it's for boys, and doesn't want to go to a boys school as he gets on with girls better despite having friends and sisters outside of school. It's unsettling that he places so much emphasis on materialistic things being for boys and girls, which he says other people put onto him but again these seem innocuous things that I can't imagine anybody else having umbrage with.
If we take away the content, which as I state I didn't really understand, rate or enjoy, the main point of a book is to entertain. I didn't find this book captivating, as the plot seemed to be everywhere, the writing wasn't great and I found it hard to believe so many points. So it didn't really hold my attention and I had to push through to the end. But I can see it as an applaudable first book and it really does seem to mean a lot to the author writing it, which I can appreciate.
Lastly, and the main reason for the 1 star review, is I feel this is a dangerous book from a mental health standpoint. The author seems to think that hearing about his life, which was neither unusual or particularly terrible, will save people but I think quite the opposite. I urge anybody reading this book, or contemplating it, to please seek professional help if you have imaginary friends, worlds or hear voices as an adult for the first time. This isn't something to accept, it isn't 'other', it has nothing to do with being trans and it seems to be very dangerous advise for one to give. However, I'm glad the author has spoken about something that clearly has affected his life in a very negative way, and I hope it has given him the peace he needs from the experience.
I feel bad rating this book as I did, as it was clearly the heartfelt words of somebody, but I'll explain why. Firstly, the opening chapter really grabbed me and I had high hopes but then it seemed to just change from there, with no warning. We never go back or really see the significance of this.
Secondly, the writing is fairly beginner, and seems very indulgent on the part of the author. He talks about what seems like a fairly normal life growing up in the 80s, but seems to view it as abusive and poverty stricken. In fairness, growing up working class myself, it seems far more extravagant that my own life and yet I'm not narcissistic enough to think anybody would care about my life. In fact I have read autobiographies of extremely talented and well-admired celebrities that come across far more humble than this.
He documents feeling 'other' his whole life and not wanting to be a girl, however he doesn't really explain this very well. As I recall in the 80s and 90s, toys were all unisex and so were hobbies. I played football and tag with the boys and you wouldn't have seen me dead in a skirt, but nobody would ever have called me a boy. I never felt of myself as a boy. Joly seems to be talking of very cliché things here, eg doesn't want to play football as it's for boys, and doesn't want to go to a boys school as he gets on with girls better despite having friends and sisters outside of school. It's unsettling that he places so much emphasis on materialistic things being for boys and girls, which he says other people put onto him but again these seem innocuous things that I can't imagine anybody else having umbrage with.
If we take away the content, which as I state I didn't really understand, rate or enjoy, the main point of a book is to entertain. I didn't find this book captivating, as the plot seemed to be everywhere, the writing wasn't great and I found it hard to believe so many points. So it didn't really hold my attention and I had to push through to the end. But I can see it as an applaudable first book and it really does seem to mean a lot to the author writing it, which I can appreciate.
Lastly, and the main reason for the 1 star review, is I feel this is a dangerous book from a mental health standpoint. The author seems to think that hearing about his life, which was neither unusual or particularly terrible, will save people but I think quite the opposite. I urge anybody reading this book, or contemplating it, to please seek professional help if you have imaginary friends, worlds or hear voices as an adult for the first time. This isn't something to accept, it isn't 'other', it has nothing to do with being trans and it seems to be very dangerous advise for one to give. However, I'm glad the author has spoken about something that clearly has affected his life in a very negative way, and I hope it has given him the peace he needs from the experience.
February 3, 2022
This is rubbish,it’s like it was written by a twelve year old .No structure and it’s all over the place ,hope the person who wrote it seeks help for his mental health as it certainly sounds like he needs it.
February 3, 2022
Interesting (bewildering) and thought provoking at times, yes, but not sure it could be deemed a self-help book as the author doesn't actually bring it back to the present day and shed light on whether healthy coping strategies where implemented etc.
It's more of a fictional story. A hot topic, I agree, of childhood trauma and the longterm issues it can inflict upon us but not entirely convinced of the accuracy of all of the events described in the story, which can lead us to wonder how much has been exaggerated. That's not to say it is intentionally done. I have family members whose imaginations (not memories- there is a difference) can recall specific details about occasions of years gone by, which ultimately just did not happen. As children we often drift in our thoughts/ daydream etc for various reasons (esp children with ADHD) and I can see how it could be possible to confuse actual memories with such occasions, especially from early childhood.
The author describes Domdie, his make-believe world where he goes to escape reality (and worryingly seems to encourage impressionable followers on his online platforms to do the same.) It is certainly thought provoking but makes you question whether it is entirely healthy for someone with such a large platform to be conveying such messages. Having an imagination and daydreaming of course can be fine but I'm not sure I can agree with encouraging people to enter a fictional world which you rely on, to get by, day to day. People could potentially isolate themselves from the real world and cause/worsen serious mental health issues on such advice.
In summary, a short story to be read with a pinch of salt. If you are in need of sound mental health advice please seek it from reputable and professional sources.
(Thanks Net Galley for my copy)
It's more of a fictional story. A hot topic, I agree, of childhood trauma and the longterm issues it can inflict upon us but not entirely convinced of the accuracy of all of the events described in the story, which can lead us to wonder how much has been exaggerated. That's not to say it is intentionally done. I have family members whose imaginations (not memories- there is a difference) can recall specific details about occasions of years gone by, which ultimately just did not happen. As children we often drift in our thoughts/ daydream etc for various reasons (esp children with ADHD) and I can see how it could be possible to confuse actual memories with such occasions, especially from early childhood.
The author describes Domdie, his make-believe world where he goes to escape reality (and worryingly seems to encourage impressionable followers on his online platforms to do the same.) It is certainly thought provoking but makes you question whether it is entirely healthy for someone with such a large platform to be conveying such messages. Having an imagination and daydreaming of course can be fine but I'm not sure I can agree with encouraging people to enter a fictional world which you rely on, to get by, day to day. People could potentially isolate themselves from the real world and cause/worsen serious mental health issues on such advice.
In summary, a short story to be read with a pinch of salt. If you are in need of sound mental health advice please seek it from reputable and professional sources.
(Thanks Net Galley for my copy)
February 4, 2022
Gave me a bit of a headache. To much inconsistencies and seems to jump around. I listened to the audio book and I could only get to the 2nd chapter. The narrators voice was very irritating and lacked all empathy.
February 6, 2022
This book is truly all over the place. It skips from one thing to another and back to this and then over to that and there’s no flow whatsoever. Also there’s no way that someone remembers every detail of their life like that. He remembers every outfit he was wearing, every food he ate, and every conversation he had within 30 years. This book is just a way for him to continue to exploit and abuse his child and force him to live the life that Jonathan couldn’t have. This man needs to seek help and see a therapist.
February 4, 2022
Dont bother with this one. If I could give it 0 stars I would. The book is all over the place.
January 13, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley for the advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I was intrigued when I saw this book, I wasn’t sure what to expect. My understanding is that this is Joly’s first book, and for that, it’s not bad. If this was written as fiction based on his life, I think it would read far better. I found it a little confusing. It’s autobiographical, almost written like a memoir, yet reads like a fictional book. There is in-depth description and constant dialogue. I really think that Joly could be a talented fictional author, perhaps in fantasy genre. I thought his story telling was captivating.
However, as this is supposed to be an account of Joly’s childhood, I find it so bizarre that he can retell his entire life from the age of 3 with such precision. For example, I couldn’t tell you what I wore when I was 3 and exactly what people said and did and how I felt. It seems odd. It makes you wonder the validity of it and makes it feel like a story. I think if needed to either be written as a memoir or a fictional book (based on a true story). It’s a messy combination of both. I’m not sure how an editor read this and thought it was a good idea?
I do want to say that I feel for him and felt heartbroken for his experiences. I hope that he’s managed to get the help he needs and can continue being his authentic self with his family, who sound lovely.
I was intrigued when I saw this book, I wasn’t sure what to expect. My understanding is that this is Joly’s first book, and for that, it’s not bad. If this was written as fiction based on his life, I think it would read far better. I found it a little confusing. It’s autobiographical, almost written like a memoir, yet reads like a fictional book. There is in-depth description and constant dialogue. I really think that Joly could be a talented fictional author, perhaps in fantasy genre. I thought his story telling was captivating.
However, as this is supposed to be an account of Joly’s childhood, I find it so bizarre that he can retell his entire life from the age of 3 with such precision. For example, I couldn’t tell you what I wore when I was 3 and exactly what people said and did and how I felt. It seems odd. It makes you wonder the validity of it and makes it feel like a story. I think if needed to either be written as a memoir or a fictional book (based on a true story). It’s a messy combination of both. I’m not sure how an editor read this and thought it was a good idea?
I do want to say that I feel for him and felt heartbroken for his experiences. I hope that he’s managed to get the help he needs and can continue being his authentic self with his family, who sound lovely.
January 16, 2022
This is a very jumbled book with no structure at all. This book definitely reads more as fiction then non-fiction, especially the bits that appear to be written by one of his invisible friends?! It also ended really suddenly, I expected it to come back to present day and explain Jonathan as experiences life now and why Giselle returned to him when he was 36, which didn’t happen. I do however, really feel for Jonathan and what he went through.
February 6, 2022
Thanks NetGalley for the book.
I wanted to read this book as I saw how much the author talked about it. To be completely honest, it looks like a fantasy book. The books itself doesn't have a clear structure, it jumps from places to places. The author is not clear in parts and when the different narrators are talking.
Overall it is very confusing and personally I don't think if someone is suffering from MH should read this book as it won't help them.
I wanted to read this book as I saw how much the author talked about it. To be completely honest, it looks like a fantasy book. The books itself doesn't have a clear structure, it jumps from places to places. The author is not clear in parts and when the different narrators are talking.
Overall it is very confusing and personally I don't think if someone is suffering from MH should read this book as it won't help them.
January 17, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley and Quercus Books for sending me an advanced copy in return for an honest review.
I enjoyed the book and thought it had an interesting narrative which helped the reader to understand how young Jonathan was feeling when he was an infant to teenager. The story gave me a very vivid picture of what Jonathan thoughts and feelings were at different stages and times in his life and how he felt about his family-in particular his father. Also, I enjoyed Jonathan talking about Ireland thright the 80s and into 90s and thought that added a touch of realism to the story.
However, i do believe some parts of the story felt whimsical and surreal in a way that made you question if the story was completely real as I felt there were a little bit too much detail in some parts-especially with how young Jonathan was at the time. I did find it jarring with the switching between Jonathan and his inner friends, because I wasn't always sure who was speaking in that particular moment.
Moreover, I felt that some parts of the story ended without proper explanation or elaboration which left you confused and wondering were the rest of the chapter had gone. I believe that some chapters needed to include rest of that particular story/memory in them even if there wasn't a resolution.
I will say that this book is a page turner and does make you want to know more about Jonathan and his life. I would suggest Jonathan look into writing more about his life, especially his life as a Youtuber and being an online influencer and his mental state now-as it felt that the ending was quite abrupt and I would have liked to know more about how Jonathan is feeling in the present day. I would also like to know if Jonathan has spoken to a therapist about his traumatic childhood with bullying inside and outside the home.
Jonathan should also look into writing fantasy stories as he has a good ability to write interesting and fantastical stories that pull you into the story.
I enjoyed the book and thought it had an interesting narrative which helped the reader to understand how young Jonathan was feeling when he was an infant to teenager. The story gave me a very vivid picture of what Jonathan thoughts and feelings were at different stages and times in his life and how he felt about his family-in particular his father. Also, I enjoyed Jonathan talking about Ireland thright the 80s and into 90s and thought that added a touch of realism to the story.
However, i do believe some parts of the story felt whimsical and surreal in a way that made you question if the story was completely real as I felt there were a little bit too much detail in some parts-especially with how young Jonathan was at the time. I did find it jarring with the switching between Jonathan and his inner friends, because I wasn't always sure who was speaking in that particular moment.
Moreover, I felt that some parts of the story ended without proper explanation or elaboration which left you confused and wondering were the rest of the chapter had gone. I believe that some chapters needed to include rest of that particular story/memory in them even if there wasn't a resolution.
I will say that this book is a page turner and does make you want to know more about Jonathan and his life. I would suggest Jonathan look into writing more about his life, especially his life as a Youtuber and being an online influencer and his mental state now-as it felt that the ending was quite abrupt and I would have liked to know more about how Jonathan is feeling in the present day. I would also like to know if Jonathan has spoken to a therapist about his traumatic childhood with bullying inside and outside the home.
Jonathan should also look into writing fantasy stories as he has a good ability to write interesting and fantastical stories that pull you into the story.
December 20, 2021
’m so thankful to receive this early copy from NetGalley. I’ve had this book preordered since Jonathan announced it and I’m still excited to receive the physical copy in February!
Having watched The Sacconejoly’s lives for roughly 8 years, I felt a lot more connected to this book than other early reviews I’ve seen. I always knew Jonathan was suffering but the fact he has let us into his world and opened the box for us is incredibly brave and I’m so proud of him for finding that courage.
I will say honestly, as an avid reader though, you can see that Jonathan is not an author. The structure was a bit all over the place and I would’ve liked the book to have been extended just a bit more. It starts with Jonathan at an airport in 2016, then jumps back to the 80s to talk about his childhood. I would’ve been interested to hear more about what happened after the airport situation, even as maybe one extra chapter.
I feel incredibly privileged that I have been allowed to view Jonathan’s world from a window. As someone whose mental health is always up and down I really felt the line, “I’m not sure how much longer I can keep floating, before I drown.”
Having watched The Sacconejoly’s lives for roughly 8 years, I felt a lot more connected to this book than other early reviews I’ve seen. I always knew Jonathan was suffering but the fact he has let us into his world and opened the box for us is incredibly brave and I’m so proud of him for finding that courage.
I will say honestly, as an avid reader though, you can see that Jonathan is not an author. The structure was a bit all over the place and I would’ve liked the book to have been extended just a bit more. It starts with Jonathan at an airport in 2016, then jumps back to the 80s to talk about his childhood. I would’ve been interested to hear more about what happened after the airport situation, even as maybe one extra chapter.
I feel incredibly privileged that I have been allowed to view Jonathan’s world from a window. As someone whose mental health is always up and down I really felt the line, “I’m not sure how much longer I can keep floating, before I drown.”
February 7, 2022
I have watched saconnejoly since before emelia was born love the family. When Jonathan did his "coming out" video of course with all the constant hype I was interested to hear what was coming. And it was this book. Naturally Jonathan got alot of heat from people who have struggled to come out to there peers and have suffered homophibic terror. But Jonathan isn't gay he says, nor transgender or a girl!! Anyway I have the audio free thankfully because I wouldn't waste the money. You first off feel for him his family life was turbulence with domestic arguments through his parents. He has to do things he doesn't like, haven't we all!!. It jumps all over the place but doesn't explain about his journey. Loads of kids have imaginery friends and make up thing like domdie. His family was down trodden and poor yet he went to an all boys prestigious school!!. It comes across like Jonathan is writing a fictional story that doesn't have any conclusion, other than drawing people in to buy the book reaping the income but giving no insight or conclusion to what he is or who he suddenly wants to be now his son Eduardo has shown another side to him. Not that he is an adult and a father and on social platforms how does he see himself is he trans, is he a man with a feminine side. Or does he has gender identity issues where he doesn't know who Jonathan is?.
Also how does this public outing of his family and siblings make him feel better. It sounds like his mum and dad are. Monsters they way have been described. Now that this book is out there I am still left like so many other thinking WHY. what did you gain from this apart from income through sales, exploiting your young son, and how humiliating your family, is it fair that they now are going to be exposed to being spotted and potentially abused for your stories. This book isn't going to help many as there was no clarity in it. It doesn't explain its badly written and seems like an eleborate tale. I have said many times since Eduardo expressed his interest in being more girly you jumped on that like yes, now I can use this to my advantage. The constant tiktok, pointing out with a huge finger point saying my son wears dresses, no one had an issue with Eduardos dresses, it's that you his protector his parent were and have continued to use this for your own gain, you see it as supporting your son it's more a case of a man in his 40s having a mental breakdown. You need to seek professional help to deal with it seems some seriously bad issues that are deep routed instead of doing this fictional writing. I'm very sad abd disappointed I feel sorry for Anna and the kids. They deserve more.
Also how does this public outing of his family and siblings make him feel better. It sounds like his mum and dad are. Monsters they way have been described. Now that this book is out there I am still left like so many other thinking WHY. what did you gain from this apart from income through sales, exploiting your young son, and how humiliating your family, is it fair that they now are going to be exposed to being spotted and potentially abused for your stories. This book isn't going to help many as there was no clarity in it. It doesn't explain its badly written and seems like an eleborate tale. I have said many times since Eduardo expressed his interest in being more girly you jumped on that like yes, now I can use this to my advantage. The constant tiktok, pointing out with a huge finger point saying my son wears dresses, no one had an issue with Eduardos dresses, it's that you his protector his parent were and have continued to use this for your own gain, you see it as supporting your son it's more a case of a man in his 40s having a mental breakdown. You need to seek professional help to deal with it seems some seriously bad issues that are deep routed instead of doing this fictional writing. I'm very sad abd disappointed I feel sorry for Anna and the kids. They deserve more.
February 7, 2022
Just not good….not interesting and I really had to force myself to read as much as I did.I don’t understand or believe some of the stories either as they are so vivid,you could understand maybe 1 or 2 memories of this time being so vivid but his whole book is really a play by play of a time and situation. I wanted to like it, I really did …but I really didn’t.
February 14, 2022
I was not going to write a review. Because I struggle with dyslexia. But after seeing so many one star reviews and negative comments I was really surprised by!
I dont think being judged on level of abuse is fair... no one deserves to feel like that. I related to this book in so many ways that I cried and smiled loads ! I read the book in one sitting I really enjoyed it. And I cant help but think that the majority of the reviews are from people who already had a disliking to the man from his other platforms and ventures.
I do hope he writes another one because I would like to know more!
I dont think being judged on level of abuse is fair... no one deserves to feel like that. I related to this book in so many ways that I cried and smiled loads ! I read the book in one sitting I really enjoyed it. And I cant help but think that the majority of the reviews are from people who already had a disliking to the man from his other platforms and ventures.
I do hope he writes another one because I would like to know more!
February 14, 2022
This book reads as a fictional story. He is filling in his “life story” to fit his current narrative. If you have watched his vlogs, it is easy to spot the lies.
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