Nothing Like the Truth: The Trials and Tribulations of a Criminal Judge

by Nigel Lithman

In 100 per cent of criminal trials someone, if not everyone, tells lies.If it wasn’t for liars, there wouldn’t be trials.When a defendant swears ‘to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’, most judges and barristers believe their evidence will be ‘nothing like the truth’.Who can blame them? During years of exposure to a daily diet of murder and mayhem, lies and liars, they’ve heard it all before.In Nothing Like the Truth, Nigel Lithman QC provides an entertaining and irreverent insight into life in the criminal courts as barrister, QC and Crown Court judge. Using his experience in true crime, he mixes tales of horror with humour and questions whether it is possible for defendants to get a fair trial.

Genres: Law, True Crime, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography

252 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 25, 2021

Reviews

[Petra X · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book brought up some interesting points of law - such as telling lies in court if they don't harm anyone or really pervert the course of justice are not prosecuted. However ones that do harm or aim to change the outcome in a major way are perjury, and will be prosecuted. The main reason lies aren't is that since just about everyone lies in court to bolster up their case, or whoever they are being a witness for if it would help them, the courts would be jammed with perjury trials to the exclusion of more important criminal cases.

Despite the above and some interesting points, I found the book to be entirely lacklustre. The writing was idiosyncratic to the point of irritation quite often, usually from minor personal remarks the author couldn't stop himself inserting and an editor (and possibly all other readers except myself) found really amusing.

A much better book from an author in a similar position, was The Secret Barrister: Stories of the Law and How It's BrokenThe Secret Barrister: Stories of the Law and How It's Broken.

If there were half stars, this would be a 3.5, but there aren't and it is not a 4 star book. So down to the average of 3 stars it goes. This feels a bit harsh because the author is obviously a really nice guy, the sort of person it would be fun to have a long lunch with, chatting about his law cases deep into the afternoon. But still, it's books not authors we are rating here.
__________

Reading notes "I went to an upmarket school in Essex, if that isn't a contradiction in terms." That phrase will mean everything to British readers and nothing to American ones. Essex is a county, not a poor place but it is considered the culturally-barren home of the tasteless, footballers and their wives - Victoria Beckham is an Essex girl and has a mansion there, 'Beckingham Palace' - plumped up lips, permanent fake tan, white stilettos with cut-off bleached jeans and holidays in Ibiza or Dubai. All this has been immortalised in TOWIE, a reality/soap opera, The Only Way is Essex, where everyone takes themselves very seriously on and off camera and sad to say, rather large numbers of the viewers do not.

The left-wing newspaper Guardian praises them, of course as real working class people and says that the middle classes sneer at them. They do. But the Guardian should be careful because it is this sneering class that pays for that newspaper. But that's all right because the middle classes are used to be castigated for everything wrong with society in the UK and US these days. The Sun, the Mirror and the rightwing rag the DailyMail everyone who reads that rag always denies it as it is such a scurrilous site, but it has the best comment section on the net. Next to GR of course. are more to TOWIE-type people's taste.

I quoted that initial phrase because that is the tone of the book, somewhere between snidely amusing and self-deprecating and irritating in a minor way. I hope the irritation doesn't escalate.

Maybe TOWIE is a bit like Jersey Shore? Over-the-top looks and distinctive accents?

[Ruthy lavin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can’t help but feel that this was a wasted opportunity to really give us an insight into the life of a QC.
Instead, it contains way too many anecdotes and is more comedic than factual, which quite frankly feels inappropriate at times.
I managed to get to 60% but then decided I have far better books to read on my kindle.
I never take any joy in giving up on a book but I couldn’t persevere anymore with it.
I’ve read some fascinating books written by lawyers and judges, so maybe my expectations were too high, but sadly this was a big let down.

[Kruthika Prakash · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked the book being inspired by the positive reviews—and I must say that it’s decidedly interesting. The author reveals a slice of his experiences at the criminal bar over a span of four decades—first as a barrister and thereafter as a judge. The book begins with questions about identifying the ‘innocent accused’ or the ‘innocent victim’. Then, much to my surprise, before jumping into discussions about his phase as a criminal barrister, the author reveals his not-so-goody-two-shoes days. It appears that the bar must have changed him into a serious and ethically strong man. The stories of those who get reeled into the whirlpool of crime and their emotions is aptly described. The narration is personal, passionate and full of energy that would make us want to read and re-read. https://booksfoodmylife.blogspot.com/...

[Chrissie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is an overview of the career of a criminal barrister turned Judge, and our judicial system in the uk - and its flaws. It is broken, and the reasons are described. It may change the view held by many about lawyers as "fat cats" .

[Tammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

100 per cent of criminal trials someone, if not everyone, tells lies.

If it wasn’t for liars, there wouldn’t be trials.

When a defendant swears ‘to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’, most judges and barristers believe their evidence will be ‘nothing like the truth’.
Who can blame them? During years of exposure to a daily diet of murder and mayhem, lies and liars, they’ve heard it all before.
In Nothing Like the Truth, Nigel Lithman QC provides an entertaining and irreverent insight into life in the criminal courts as barrister, QC and Crown Court judge. Using his experience in true crime, he mixes tales of horror with humour and questions whether it is possible for defendants to get a fair trial.

Those blurb above hooked me instantly.
As a Queen’s Counsel, Nigel Lithman has spent his professional life in the criminal court as barrister then a Criminal Judge. His In Nothing Like the Truth is fun, funny and brilliant. I really enjoy reading his experiences through those year in both roles. One thing for sure….Nigel Lithman is not a conservative nor your typical Criminal Judge.

[Igor · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nothing Like the Truth” comes across less as a thoughtful memoir and more as the ramblings of a grumpy retiree. While Nigel Lithman QC occasionally provides interesting glimpses into life on the bench, much of the book feels self-serving and outdated, losing the sharp wit and balanced perspective one might expect from a seasoned judge.

[Mrs Olga A Danes-Volkov · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very funny book

I am old and pretty stupid, consequently much of this book was either not understood or when I did understand it, I forgot it.
However, none of this means it isn't a very good book. I'm sure that people younger and brighter than I will benefit from this exposé of our legal system.
For me, apart from momentarily grasping the meaning, I found it immensely amusing,.and probably infuriated the neighbours with my constant chortling

Recommended

[Daniel Stylianou · Rating 1 out of 5]

An extremely poor book. Appreciating that the author finds humour in lots of things, there are times when it is appropriate and he doesn’t seem to recognise that. None of the stories in this book have any substance, tested to just a few lines and then something the author considers a witticism (some of which just aren’t funny). There’s very little to be positive about here unfortunately; I wouldn’t recommend even if someone found it cheap at a book sale.

[Deborah Sinclair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant and funny!

I have always had the highest regard for barristers and solicitors and been rather (and rightly so) in awe of Judges. This book shares a personal insight into all aspects of the law with some very funny parts. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I hope barristers get the pay they deserve soon!

[Lucy Ibbetson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty and fascinating

I liked this book. I would have liked more detailed descriptions of trials and daily life, but obviously some stories can't really be told. The writer is clever and entertaining. A jolly good read

[Beverley Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was OK. There were some interesting stories and seeing the law from a barrister/judge point of view. Some funny stories and explanations about sentencing, trials during covid and barristers stiking for the first time. That's it.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great look at the world of barristers in the UK. This humorous account of the author's life work will help you understand the daily grind of those in the law courts.

[Laurie Duncan · Rating 5 out of 5]

rollicking read

There are not enough books written about the law. There are none that I have come across that are written with such honesty, humour and compassion.

[Bradley Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious - laugh out loud hilarious. A great insight into how barristers and judges think about court cases and the justice system.

[Bob Holden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful and humorous in equal measure.

[Pat N]

Excellent reading

Funny, easy read that I did not want to put down sounds like the author loved every minute of his job

[tom · Rating 2 out of 5]

the tone is that of an occasionally amusing after-dinner speaker. the audiobook is 7 hours long. the effect is as you would imagine.

[Charlotte De Klerck · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5* rounded down.

Very funny & an excellent insight into the English judiciary.

[Andy Wormald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having no legal background or particular interest in the legal system, I wasn’t sure how I was going to find the book, however, I do have an interest in reading memoirs.

What I found was an engaging and amusing story sprinkled throughout with a dry sense of humour, told in an entertaining way. You get some small sense of what being a leading barrister and judge entails and the trials and tribulations they face on a daily basis

Mixed with anecdotal tales , it makes for a highly enjoyable read, it does get bogged down in legal terminology, which makes it perfect for those who like to read tales of those who have a tale to tell.

It does at times touch on important topics and you certainly get a feel for the judicial system and those who work in and around it again all told is an easy style

This is not just one mans memoirs of a life at the bar, but in someways also a look at the judicial system and the criminals you meet along the way

Told in a somewhat irreverent way they are moments which had me laughing out loud to myself, I get the feeling that to spend time in his company would lead to one entertaining evening, comes across in the book as a born storyteller

In truth once you start reading it is difficult to put down, the only issue it does leave you wanting to hear more tales from the bar

Would definitely recommend, it is a fascinating and absorbing read.

[Monty Lord · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nigel Lithman’s book ‘Nothing Like The Truth’ takes the reader on the journey from the formative years of his career as a prospective barrister to achieving what many consider to be the pinnacle of the legal profession, becoming a judge. His literary and legal expertise shines as he navigates the reader through his career, intertwined with tales from over the years, many of which, for the everyday reader unfamiliar with our legal system, to question the veracity of the anecdotes. Those only too familiar with the criminal justice system will know just how commonplace some of these scenarios are.

Lithman’s book creates a myriad of emotions for the reader. One chapter in particular (Jelly Beans) manufactured a sense of fear in parts and had me worried for Lithman’s safety. On the other hand, a select few chapters evoke a feeling of melancholy, such as the tragic story portrayed in White Van Man. Lithman does all of this whilst still managing to weave in slices of comedy for the reader to enjoy.

I would highly recommend ‘Nothing Like the Truth’ to anyone interested in a barrister’s career progression, how our legal system functions behind the scenes, or simply somebody who wants an intellectual yet surprisingly light-hearted and comical read, despite the crimes illustrated throughout the book.

[Ruth Matheson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nigel Lithman manages to tell his life in court in short ( and at times, sharp) memoires which are both insightful and funny. The court system can be a minefield at times, however Nigel guides the reader through many of its anomalies with tales from his own personal experience adding humour to a subject that isn't always known to be funny. A good overall view of the judicial system especially for those of us who have fortunately never been near a courtroom!

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 from me. Some fascinating insights into criminal justice and life as both a qc and judge, the tone was a little too disjointed for me to grade this higher, although the local interest aspect was massively in its favour.