***Warning, slight spoilers for the first half of the books***
What can I say about a book of this quality that currently has 4.29 stars on Goodreads? I'm sure many of my criticisms are subjective however there are more than enough objective reasons this should have never been published in its current state that I really question that score?
Is Goodreads rigged to boost sales? Are readers that jingoistic that if they encounter a work that ticks off enough of their identity politics boxes that they'll willingly overlook any of the basics of what a novel should aim for in storytelling and characterisation? Even some of the negative reviews seem centred on perceived persecution of another identity.
This may be a decent first draft but it should never have been published.
I don't want to waste your time, unlike a certain author, so let's just bullet point this.
1. The writing is clumsy, repetitive treats the audience like an idiot and has the subtlety of a wrecking ball. This might be appropriate for some of the colonialism or class/race points the author is trying to make, but when this is used for foreshadowing and twists it's just bad.
The storytelling also relies an embarrassing amount on telling, not showing, even if it was a bad first-time fan fic. "Character X was sad." I'm sure in fact that this book could be a lot shorter if an editor just took out all the redundant repetition of details the audience has already been told a hundred times. This novel treats the reader like an idiot.
The use of exposition is clumsy constant and repetitive. (Did I already say that?) It's constantly spoon-fed to the reader with very little context or story to justify it as well. The author uses in-universe literature to start every chapter. This could have been interesting, but it's just another way to unload exposition.
Similarly we find out another character is trans, not because it has any relevance to the story, her characterisation or backstory but just the author thinks it's important. This character (the claimed third protagonist) is probably the most interesting character, however with how little of the book that is spent with her, it comes across as unnecessary exposition.
2. The story is slow and long. This is FAR too long for something this shallow and this slow. I gave up at the halfway point, and barely anything of note has occurred. It feels like I'm barely out of Act 1, while the trials (a supposedly key point of drama and tension) are all build up and no payoff.
I have read longer novels than this by far, and this is definitely the most unnecessarily long novel I've attempted. It feels like for the story it's telling there is absolutely no justification for this length. Maybe the real fault here lies with the editors, because there seems to be no effort to tighten it up and cut down on the word count at all.
3. The worldbuilding is shallow and undermines the themes. I'm sorry to say this, because the initial concept of the world building, and the mythology that drew me in. The basic concept is interesting, and the real world events that this takes inspiration from and attempts to explore (like the Belgian Congo) deserve to be explored.
However the world building is clearly not well thought through at all. The entire slave class are mutilated at birth to the point where all the work they do needs to have disability adjustments. This is just stupid from the slave masters' perspective as it makes them less effective at their work, causes the slave masters' greater expense and demonstrates a lack of basic understanding of slavery or why mutilation and other atrocities were committed (beyond basic sadism).
4. Class and race is badly handled. Class and caste are decided by blood colour in this society. The ruling caste have red blood, the workers' blue, and the slaves clear. While the concept of magic linked to blood (for the ones with red blood) is an interesting idea, it goes in the polar opposite of how racism and classism works in the real world.
Racism works because it's generally perceived as obvious, and it can be countered by the fact we are all essentially the same but for skin pigment and other superificial differences. What about world where people have different blood colours? What is the biological reason for this? It wasnt explored in the first half of the novel, even though the blood colours are expositioned-to-death on nearly every page. This leads to the next issue
5a. We essentially have a "white saviour"/magical princess story. The main character is a red-blooded woman who was kidnapped and raised by the resistance as a child. She is raised by the blue bloods but the main unique quality is that she can pass amongst any segment of society - also she's a princess.
If we were to consider this in a real world setting: "non-white, non-western rebels kidnap and raise white princess to be their saviour." Do you see how problematic this is? It undermines the message of resistance if they need a saviour from the privileged class to save them.
5b. Next we have the blue blood imposter princess, a spoilt brat with no experience of the rest of people, who seeks to use her Western- I mean Ember education to rise to the top of the cruel system to make it better for everyone. Sound familar? Also quite problematic.
5c. The entire plot, the idea someone can rise to the top of a corrupt system and either destroy it completely on their own, or "fix it" is misguided at best, and insidiously supporting these systems at worst. It is a naive idea, which ignores the real nature of power, institutions and systems of control.
In reality there is no single head to cut off any snake, and even holding the most senior position would not be enough to dramatically change or destroy an institution. This is because their position and power is reliant on others who support them, whose interests align with the status quo. So to assume winning an election (or competition) would be enough is extremely silly, but I only got halfway through so maybe the author was planning to subvert this. I can only hope.
6. The story is a mix of miss-matched tones. The story of oppression and rebellion is very dark and adult but it contrasts heavily with the YA nature of the interactions and the "romance?" between the main characters. I'm not a fan of YA as a genre, but the weird mixing is jarring. It really rubs in how out of touch with reality the second protagonist is, and makes her unlikeable to an extreme.
7. "Romance?" This was marketed as a F/F romance. After reading the first half of the novel it's clearly false advertising. Presumably there will be a romance of sorts, and perhaps sex scenes, but this hasn't happened yet after 50% progress.
There has been only one sex scene (M/F) with that romance appearing the only logical one in the novel but for the advertising (and a bland one at that). The presumed couple so far have no chemistry, only the lightest insinuation of flirting from only one of the pair and no sexual tension. Personally I'm not a fan of stories centred on romance (whatever the pairing), and if F/F had been the only/main selling point, I'd have probably not started it. If this is important to you though, I'm sure you'd be very disappointed.
8. The descriptive language is limited. The second protagonist we learn "has curves". This seems to be the only way her body is described when she is talked about physically when another character has the viewpoint. The basic concept of the aesthetics of the world are fascinating, it's disappointing in how limited the author's descriptions can be.
9. For a fantasy novel in a Medieval/Early modern setting, this is too politically modern that it breaks suspension of disbelief. The "curvy" woman is described as beautiful. Why? Because she's got curves! By a character who fails to describe her physically in any other way, who has no romantic interest in her, who has grown up in poverty with malnutrition, but seems to break the fourth wall repeatedly to tell readers that overfed (remember in-universe), wasteful, thoughtless, spoilt brat "with curves" is beautiful, and so are the reader!
Yes it feels like the author felt the need to break the fourth wall to tell the readers this, as well as a few other affirmative action call-outs. Again, this is a novel where a whole slave class is mutilated as babies. People are ripped apart in the streets as an execution for minor crimes, and yet what really might offend readers is that they might not feel comfortable in their own bodies? Sex, gender or bodyweight.
This seems extremely out of perspective. If you're that thin-skinned then you probably shouldn't be reading something with this level of violence. If you are offended by possibly being called fat, but not that level of grotesque violence (again, aimed at babies), then what the HELL is wrong with you?
Conclusion
Was this a too long review? Probably, but this probably gives you a glimpse of how frustrating and disappointing this novel was for me. And probably how disappointed I am with Goodreads and reviewers for lying to me, themselves and repeated throwing me into a situation where I feel like the kid in The Emperor's New Clothes. So many modern works given recognition they are not worthy of.
I give this 1.5 stars. It may have been more had it been properly edited and streamlined, but here we are. As it stands, this is only the second worst novel I started of the year. (Ready Player One is enough to make me think we as a species never should have been allowed to develop language at all). What a mess the publishing industry must be!