I really detest this book. I cannot make that clear enough. That said, I knew going in that I was not going to like it- it was more of a curiosity to see just how bad it would be. Spoiler Alert blew my mind with how plainly it was self-insert fanfiction with Jaime Gameofthrones' name replaced. Spoiler Alert had downright plausible deniability compared to this.
But let's put that aside. Let's pretend this isn't someone's clear wish fulfillment for (insert far too high number here) pages. Let's look at what we've got while offering the most generous of interpretations. I promise, it doesn't make things any better.
Before diving in, I had read a few ARC reviews that warned about the general cruelty toward the heroine in the first half of the book. I didn't think it could possibly be too bad, but I did start highlighting every line directly insulting Lauren. Even getting lax around the halfway mark and exempting some instances that seemed to be presented as genuinely affectionate, I ended my journey with close to 200 highlights.
I know this may sound like a harsh leap, but I kinda worry about the author. I hope that it's only an exaggeration to prove some murky point, but I cannot imagine people being so needlessly and openly cruel to someone because they're fat and ugly. I'm speaking from experience here. These characters are, ostensibly, out of high school...except in the way that any single one of them acts.
Lauren might pass occasionally for mature, but her strongest characteristic is her willingness to let other people treat her like trash. Every single time someone who is not Jaime Gameofthrones II is terrible to her, she is quick to let it go. See, she's been exposed to over-the-top assholeishness so often that she's built up a natural immunity. It doesn't actually matter if people treat her like shit because she has decided it doesn't matter. It's kinda sad, except handled pretty poorly. I wouldn't say she develops much over the course of the story, though by the end she seems amenable to the idea that she might be human after all.
Alex (I use his name under great duress and profound laziness wrt keeping the Jaime Gameofthrones II joke up) is...... well, an asshole. That part is on purpose it would seem. The text itself wants us to believe he's a *delightful* asshole though, and that's a bridge too far for me. From the first moment we see him, he is happily insulting Lauren at every possible moment, but this is apparently affectionate insulting, despite us not seeing any actual affection until around the 60% mark. He's also weirdly possessive- nobody can treat her like shit but him, thank you very much. It sends a bit of a mixed message given the abuse B-plot, but that's handled with about as much care as anything else in this book, so go figure.
I suppose this could be considered a slow burn in a way, as we spend a good half of the book with Alex directly berating Lauren. Always fun. I forgot to mention that the D&D stand-in is so intentionally, deeply, unfathomably cruel that it kinda becomes funny. Ah, yes, the showrunner who publicly CC's 80 people in an e-mail calling his cousin fat. This tracks.
I don't want to imply here that I believe romances should be limited strictly to healthy relationships. I like my fair share of fantasy toxicity, but this is something else. I hate to imply that something like a silly romance novel can truly be harmful, but it honestly does concern me. I can't imagine being someone who actively seeks out plus size romances only to read a solid 80 insults in the first 20% of the book. And then to be told it's natural and correct to ignore and allow this. Definitely rubs me the wrong way.
Heat level is low for the vast majority of the book. There are probably a combined 20ish pages of fuckin' and they're mostly consecutive. Is it good fuckin'? Well, I guess that depends on what your AO3 looks like. Lots of quivering pussies, in case you were wondering. (I wasn't).
On that note, this book suffers in some of the same ways the first one does from a more objective standpoint. You're going to have trouble following this if you're not entrenched in fandom. There are once again sections formatted as excerpts from AO3 stories. Not only should you know what this means (the author does not bother to even stray from the abbreviation in terms of explanation between two books so far), but you should also be at least passingly familiar with a plethora of popular tropes. Not quite as unbearable, but very cringe-worthy, is all the direct whining about how bad the Game of Thrones finale was. Seriously. This happens a LOT and it is not subtle. Unless this book was already being written in mid-2019, I feel like it might be time to make contact with a lawn.
Mental health rep here is mixed, but largely terrible. It is made extremely clear over the course of the book that people seeking emergency mental health intervention are pitiable at best, dangerously violent at worst. Alex has ADHD, which is brought up whenever he is being urged to eat breakfast so his meds don't give him a tummy ache. He also likes to randomly exercise at inappropriate moments and leave apples rotting on his shower floor. I have it on very good authority that this is pathological behavior given his diagnosis. To be fair, though, the author takes plenty of time pointing out when he takes his adderall, which is probably not too bad a thing to normalize.
There is nobody to root for in this story. Alex is a douchebag until he starts getting horny, then he's still kinda a douchebag but we're meant to believe it's the lovable sort. Lauren silently accepts every piece of abuse slung her way until the last 20 pages, at which point she makes a statement best described as backbone-flavored La Croix. The closest to an interesting character is probably either the snarky co-star we see primarily through text message exchanges or the maid/housekeeper/personal cook who has no voice of her own but, we are assured by Alex, is extremely happy with her lot in life. I'm assuming she's one of the 3 working class citizens in Hollywood paid a living wage.
I'm trying to think of redeeming qualities to put here to close out, but I truly can't think of anything better to say than that me and my friends had some laughs at particularly terrible lines, and even those dried up around the halfway point in the book. Coincidentally, this is about how long she drags out the pegging joke from the previous book before either finally getting bored of or entirely forgetting about it.
Apparently if you preordered, you get to read about the shortest, fattest, ugliest girl in the world buttfucking Jaime Gameofthrones II. Can't believe I missed that.