Love Is Where It Falls: An Account of a Passionate Friendship

by Simon Callow

In the summer of 1980, actor Simon Callow met the legendary playwrights' agent Peggy Ramsay, and it was love at first sight. A strange sort of love, given that it was "between a 70 year-old woman and a 30-year-old gay man, and was never going to be consummated physically", as Callow puts it succinctly. But love it was--an intense, passionate affair which lasted several years during which Ramsay showered Callow with gifts, spiritual and material, despite his continuing relationship with his Egyptian lover Aziz. Like creatures from a bygone era, Ramsay and Callow were bold, huge personalities; their almost daily letter writing filled with histrionic emotion and grandiose discoursing on Art and Life. Callow manages to turn the letters into an elegant, riveting narrative, exploring the complex triangle between himself, Ramsay and Aziz, Aziz's depression and eventual suicide, the affair's inevitable cooling off, and Ramsay's decline into dementia and eventual death with a remarkable lack of sentimentality. Reading the open-hearted love letters of an intensely private and at times vulnerable woman makes for uncomfortable reading, but there is no doubting Callow's love and tenderness for his irascible subject, nor the sincerity of his emotion for her, and his enduring respect and responsibility for her memory. (Running time 3 hours.) --Alan Stewart --This text refers to the hardback edition of this title.

Genres: LGBT, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Theatre

214 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Stage and screen actor

Reviews

[Mark · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pretentious and totally self obsessed. I remember reading a wonderfully tongue in cheek spoof of the actor's craft by Nigel Planer called ' I, an actor '. Having read this appalling book I have no doubt at all that Nigel Planer's imagined character of Nicholas was based on Callow

Have just looked at this book again....God alone knows why. He is so up his own backside that any Shakespearean declamations must have sounded quite muffled.

ps. Sorry just to add another paragraph to my cri de coeur of his rabid pretension; Have just heard on radio 4 that he has recorded an audiobook of bedtime stories......FOR DOGS....oh for the love of God.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it. it is his account of "that most beautiful and elusive thing," his "passionate friendship" with Peggy Ramsey, a very important British theatrical agent, whom he met when he was 30 and she was 70. They fascinated each other and were very close, writing hundreds of letters, for several years. The title comes from her letter to him after his lover Aziz Yehia, a brilliant, handsome, rich, eloquent Egyptian, who was manic-depressive, had killed himself.

I also have always loved books that mention people in passing (all right, drop names) with whom I am unfamiliar. Then I can have the pleasure of finding out who Montherlant, Feuchtwangler, Harriet Martineau, Adamov, etc. etc. are. Of course, that's instantaneous now, with the internet.

Interesting tidbit:
in writing his first book, "Being an Actor," he wanted to talk about being gay. Here's what he says about journalists at that time (1982-1983)--in the third, fourth, and fifth sentences:
"It seemed to me important that someone with a mainstream career should say quite clearly that he or she was gay. As far as I knew, no one had yet done so. Perhaps they had tried but failed. I had told various journalists in the course of interviews that I was gay, but they would never print it: they didn't want to be told, they wanted to find out. If there was no expose, there was no story. I was not unaware that coming out in print like this might have terrible effects on my career (though since nobody had done so, it was hard to know); but thinking that thought was enough to convince me that I must. Neither I nor anybody else should live in that sort of dread."

[Andrew Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cried. I bought a box set of Mahler. Beautiful.

[Greg Doolan · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most intensely personal insights into love and friendship - beauty and angst and turmoil all rolled together.

[Katharine Holden · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, it's an interesting book. But I'm not able to separate a review of the book itself from my disgust at Callow accepting £25,000 to buy a flat as a gift from an elderly lady who was infatuated with him. And he justified it then and still justifies it now by saying that "someday" he'll help someone else. I'm still shaking my head at that. The book is well-written and interesting in a sort of look at the freaks way. It seemed to me that all of the people in it, including the author, needed to cut back on caffeine and take up a physical hobby.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found this lost on my bookshelves. Peggy Ramsepy is now a much forgotten figure but she found and fostered many of the giants if modern British theater. Simon Callow's lively exposition is still full of truth and poetry.

[Malcolm Frawley · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first chapter of this memoir of Callow's platonic relationship with the decades older literary agent, Peggy Ramsay, introduces her beautifully. But it quickly - to be fair, as memoirs usually do - becomes more about Callow himself. Which does not mean it was boring. He is an immensely successful actor, director & author. It's just that his insights into his friend, for me, were more intriguing than his insights into himself. But people who love theatre, like me, will most likely find this well worth opening.

[Forrest · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exquisite read!

[Paul Lehane · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful story..well written & and compelling, but SC is massively insecure, self-absorbed & egotistical..drama oozes out of every page..exhausting.

[Emma Dargue · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did not finish -usually perservere but with this I lost interest after about 40% because it was just so boring and bit self obsessed

[Trudy Cutts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Im currently reading this book and all im going to say to you its just a very beautiful and honest story of real friendship .
its written so beautifully it doesnt feel like a book at all and the honesty and personalities of the persons in this book is wonderfully understood both about simon callow and leading theatrical agent Margaret PEGGY Ramsey .
a very emotional and thoughtful book exploring the levels of intensity and passion for their friendship as well as their work lives too there are times where whilst reading the book you will feel happiness for those in the book and you will feel sadness empathy infact you will see the personalities emerge so much so simon peggy and others do indeed feel like true friends too.
not often in a book do you feel so much depth and honesty and thought and truth .. a beautiful book that sums up everyhting beautiful about friendships ... and love .

[Tonya · Rating 5 out of 5]

In reviews I read of this book (I'd been hearing about it for a few years) some thought that Callow was exploiting his relationship with Playwright Agent Peggy Ramsay, but that's not how I felt when reading it. It was a unique relationship, sometimes lopsided, sometimes even, with the same ups and downs that all friendships experience, but with two artistic people involved, the volatility factor was exponentially increased. Full of passion, wisdom, and pain.

A good nutshell review of it can be found here:

http://www.salon.com/books/review/199...

[Ange · Rating 3 out of 5]

Possibly the fastest read I've had in the past year. Consists of fairly large chunks of letters sent between Simon Callow and Peggy Ramsay. Clearly they admired and loved each other enormously, but it was not apparent to me why this was so, and therefore it became a bit tedious after a while.

[Almond · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was so well written it was a pleasure to read. Quite an insight into a fascinating friendship. This is the first book I have read by Simon Callow, and now I will look forward to reading another one of his.

[Nico · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely, only minimally self-serving memoir of Peggy Ramsey, the deservedly legendary London theatrical agent and unrivaled grande dame of every room she ever entered. Surprisingly moving.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it... made me cry...

[Christopher · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good old drag through the garden of vintage Callow and his world as he and it were blown hither and yon and forward by the equally outsized Peggy Ramsey. RIch stuff to be taken in small doses.

[Brooklyn Tayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone needs to read this book. It's a heartbreakingly beautiful story of friendship across the years. Would easily read this a million times over.