Bacon Sandwiches & Salvation: A Humorous Antidote for the Pharisee in All of Us

by Adrian Plas

Halfway through the service our minister asked the congregation a question. For you, he asked, what is the most important thing in the world? Liz and I answered more or less simultaneously. My reply was very proper and holy for a change. Salvation! I cried piously. Bacon sandwiches! suggested Liz, with all the passion and wisdom you would expect from a retired magistrate and area schools advisor for religious education. Yes, I thought to myself. Of course. Bacon sandwiches and salvation. That just about sums it up. A God who can create the indescribable tastiness of a bacon sandwich must be planning something pretty incredible in the salvation line.(excerpt from Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation) Calvinists Christians whose theology suggests that they might not bother to book their hotel rooms in advance when planning a holiday because they are absolutely convinced that someone else will have done it for them, and if they havent, theres no use trying. Grip term used by some Christians in their salutation at the end of a letter, thus, Yours in his grip. Suggests that God is in the habit of carrying his followers around in a small leather traveling case. Rock of ages (1) well known hymn which celebrates the security we find in the eternal love of God (2) music produced by the Rolling Stones

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Christian, Christianity, Religion

251 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

Reviews

[Zareen Cave · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gentle satire on church activities & the language used to describe them

I dipped in and out of it but decided to finish reading this book this weekend. Parts for the book are very amusing. Some written in an ironical manner. I enjoyed the humour immensely .

[Jane Riordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very amusing take on the quirks of modern Christianity; you would have to be a very tight lipped Christian not to have the humour raise a smile.

Easy to dip into with some good play on words and acute observations.

[Fabulous Fork · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious.

[Bonnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite entertaining A - Z of Christianity, plus puns, stories and jokes.

[Andy Hickman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Adrian Plass, “Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation: An A-Z of the Christian Life” (London: Authentic, 2008).

Adam = first example of someone who ruined his life by taking banned substances that had been growing in his garden. It was his bird's idea, and she got nicked as well. (p7)
Alpha = outreach system that has brought thousands to faith, but has left in its wake a small, deeply confused group of people who have mistakenly asked Nicky Gumbel into heir lives. (p8)
Anglican =
(1)a charismatic
(2)an anti-charismatic
(3)one who is in favour of women in the priesthood
(4)one who is not in favour of women in the priesthood
(5)one who has close links with Rome
(6)one who abhors Rome
(7)one who sees no problem with the ordination of gay clergy
(8)one who is absolutely opposed to the ordination of gay clergy
(9)etc … (p9)

Babylon = what a lot of preachers do. (p15)
Backsliding = activity shared by wavering Christians and penguins. (p15)
Beatitude = a phrase widely used in marriage: 'I am so sick and tired of your whole B. attitude.' (p17)
Bildad = phrase completing a sentence frequently used by supposedly grown-up offspring to their fathers: 'Any chance of you paying this …' (p17-18)
Bull of Bashan = usual old nonsense that we've come to expect from Bashan. (p24)
Damnation = Holland (.. as in a Nation of Dams). (p39)
Doctrine =
(1) what they do up the the Health Centre. )
(2) the things that I believe, not to be confused with heresy, which is the things other people believe. (p45)
Envy = sin mentioned in a passage of Romans that also includes homosexuality, greed and murder. Openly admitting to being envious was more or less taboo for christians and non-Christians alike until the mid-sixties, when a few people came out of the closet and confessed to their inclinations. Nowadays, of course, debate rages in the Anglican Church an elsewhere abut the suitability of ordaining those who publicly espouse the envious lifestyle. (p49)
Go in peace =
injunction to the congregation at the close of the Anglican Communion service.
Something that is only possible for those blessed with an ensuite bathroom and toilet. (p65)
Mass = E over C squared, according to Einstein. (p114)
Medad =
(1) a man named in the eleventh chapter of 'Numbers'.
(2) the person married to Memum. (p114)
Meetings = see Methodism.
Methodism = see Meetings. (p114-115)
Name above all names = aardvark (p124)
Pulpit = useful suggestion as to what might be done with quite a large proportion of what we loosely call Christian literature. (p149)

[Wyndy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is hilarious. I love British humour and since the author is a retired British magistrate guess what, the humour is British. Also, since the author is a member of the Church of England (Anglican) many of the daffynitions include references to the Anglican Church. But, I think that most readers are familiar enough with Anglican-isms to understand the references. The words are presented in 3 basic methods, a regular definition, a silly definition (many with both) and a real life story that many times shares the short falls of how we represent Christianity to the world of unbelievers. My whole family enjoys this book and it has the place of honour in the bathroom beside the throne.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

A dictionary of Christianese, with Adrian Plass's unique style of humour, blending the ridiculous with some very thought-provoking anecdotes and comments. Well worth reading - just so long as you're not easily offended by someone poking gentle humour at the church.

[Bill Forgeard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fantastic. Very funny. Comfortable with the many weakneses of Christians! Hilarious in poking fun at church foolishness. Turns dry occasionally in presenting a challenge to the norm. Adrian Plass paints us pretty accurately - he's good for my soul.

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humorous take on the various aspects of Christian life, whilst dropping in some very true and serious points.