i like watching housewives and i get more invested in it than i would like (this review is proof of that), but this book is not the good kind of trash.
“it was so toxic and a very dark atmosphere to function in.”
content/trigger warnings; emotional manipulation, f slur, divorce discussed, cancer discussed, death and loss of loved one discussed, ableism and sanism, domestic abuse discussed, misogyny, infidelity discussed, antisemitism, racism, fatphobia, suicide discussed, eating disorders discussed, gendered slurs, alcoholism discussed, physical violence recounted, slut shaming, homophobic violence discussed, racist violence discussed, anxiety discussed, drug abuse discussed, dui discussed, miscarriage discussed, sexual assault discussed,
after finishing the book, i saw someone say that bravo had full control over what was in the book, which i believe, especially considering what a different author of a housewives book said about bravo wanting full control in exchange for setting up interviews and then basically blocked the author from interacting with anyone involved with the franchise for declining the deal.
the book is very clearly skewed in favor of certain women and the producers/bravo. some women are relentlessly criticized and just outright trashed, while other women who have done the same things or worse are barely even spoken about. some women are held accountable for things, while others do the same and excuses are made for them. (it really bothers me how some people’s physical violence and racism/bigotry was addressed seriously, while that of others was completely ignored or outright excused.) some of the production people who had a lot to say in the book are known for being shady, liars, and up the ass of the better treated women.
production loves to claim they never pull strings or interfere or fabricate situations, yet there are multiple instances in this book where they admit to doing just that. whether it’s encouraging the women to make up or confront each other, or speak about a certain topic (like bombarding a housewife who just had a cancer scare and didn’t want to get emotional on camera about it with questions about how she’d feel and what she’d miss about her family if she had terminal cancer to emotionally manipulate the kind of reaction they wanted out of her).
or they’d sit and watch the women take it upon themselves to create drama for the cameras, instead of being like “we want real shit, not manufactured bullshit”, which is what they’d do if they actually cared about the reality of it. but at the end of the day, it’s a tv show. these situations we watch on screen would not happen without the cameras, so there is always a level of fabrication, and i don’t know why the producers cling so hard to this idea that it’s all real and they never get involved or guide a storyline or pull strings. especially when we saw them doing exactly that on beverly hills with denise.
production in general comes off very gross in the book. along with the cancer thing i mentioned, they treat emotionally upsetting and potentially traumatizing or damaging moments and certain* physically violent moments as iconic, amazing, hilarious, etc. and just the way some of them talk about the women was iffy, like how andy talked about carole for example. a lot of the women come off very gross, too. it seems a lot of them took this book as an opportunity to further trash the other women, and the women who did not participate got trashed the most.
*the fight between candiace and monique was the only physically violent moment discussed by production that was derisively compared to the bad girls club and love & hip hop, saying that’s not what series it and it’s a bad look. candiace put it nicely: “There’s only a stigma attached to our behavior because we’re Black. Because when they’re crackin’ glasses on the edge of tables in RHOBH, smacking camera down in RHOD, throwing wine in people’s faces in RHOC, or flipping tables and pulling ponytails in RHONJ, nobody says, “Wow, these white women are ghetto! They’re dangerous!” It’s not talked about as it is when Black women are being human and doing the same thing.”
and the main thing that really bothered me is the denise/brandi situation. i’ve had so many feelings about this for a while and nowhere to express them, so this review is going to be that outlet lmao. how that was handled on the show disgusted me. how denise was treated was awful. how the possibility of denise being outed was ignored pissed me off. how it 10000% played into the franchise’s habit of portraying queer women/sex between women as some shocking, scandalous thing really pissed me off.
and how it’s handled in the book is even fucking worse. there are eight pages of all the women and the producers speaking again on denise’s sex life. and rinna takes it even further by throwing in a new rumor she heard about denise’s sex life, and andy’s like, “omg how did i not hear about this?! why didn’t you mention it at the reunion?!” like it’s just some fun game, and not someone’s personal fucking business that has nothing to do with you. it’s cool for rinna to speak on others, but when someone insinuates her marriage isn’t what it seems, she gets violent (speaking of that; excuses are made for her, while the person who made the insinuation is immediately discredited. funny how that works).
i don’t remember if it was said on the show, but in the book brandi claims that kim referred to how denise was treating her as “abuse”, and no one says anything about it. like. are you kidding me? even if brandi’s story is true, having sex with someone, wanting it to be a secret/denying it, and wanting nothing to do with them is not abuse. just because brandi was in her feelings about it, does not make it abuse. the women and production will go wild if you call someone’s racist words/actions racist because “omg that’s inflammatory”, but brandi/kim can call denise abusive because she, in brandi’s words, “hit it and quit it”?
they keep harping on “it’s not about the sex, it’s about her lying” and like, aside from them very clearly being focused on the sex...how are you gonna tell a grown woman what her truth is, and how she has to speak about it? why are they entitled to know about her sex life? they also harp on “you can’t have secrets on the show” and aside from certain housewives being allowed to not talk about every rumor or accusation someone throws at them, the producers spoke about several housewives who refused to talk about things and they either demoted them or fired them, so why spend an entire season and reunion trying to force denise to talk about something she clearly didn’t want to talk about, instead of just demoting or firing her, like they’ve done with previous housewives?
another thing that’s mentioned several times was how unfair it was that brandi wasn’t at the reunion to tell her side of the story. but she spun her story on the show, in interviews, on social media, and in this book, so how is her not being at the reunion depriving her of the chance to tell her side? and it comes off as if denise demanded she not be there, but andy said they were worried denise would bail if brandi was there, and not ruining the chance for denise to come back for another season was more important than having brandi there. he also said elsewhere that she said all she had to say, so what was the point of her being there. but of course, the vibe is that denise was silencing brandi.
just like in the show, garcelle was the only one in the book to defend denise. and don’t think i didn’t notice how the producer’s treatment of denise (and fourth wall breaking) isn’t mentioned at all, but they made sure to turn their nose up at denise’s “unprofessionalism” and the “bravo bravo bravo” comments. the women also continue to spin the tale of “denise was shaming and vilifying us for talking about sex, even though she always talked about sex” when that was very clearly not what happened at all.
all in all. the book is longwinded, repetitive, boring, poorly edited, and not what it’s marketed as. how are you “telling-all” when you don’t have the full story?