Joanna's Husband and David's Wife

by Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey

He thought he could read her mind... until he read her diary.
David thought he knew Joanna. After twenty-five years, why wouldn't he? But when he finds the journals she's kept through their marriage, he discovers a woman with secrets... a woman he's losing--and only now does he discover why.

A profoundly intimate portrait in a time when the meaning of marriage has irrevocably changed for us all.

Genres: Fiction, Romance, Drama, Novels

399 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1986

Reviews

[Charlotte · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting read, going to the heart of how well we can really know other people, even people we are married to.

As a husband reads the diary of his wife of 25 years, he is astonished to see their relationship from her perspective and learn just how much she kept from him, and what she thought of events he either doesn't remember, or remembers for entirely different reasons.

The things David and Joanna don't say to each other take on real significance, and what they do say to each other has different meanings for both of them. How we perceive events through the lens of our own experience and forget that others are doing the same but not coming to the same conclusions is the main theme of this book, and it is very well written over the course of their relationship, from meeting in the early 60's to the event that precipitates David's reading of Joanna's diary in the 80's.

You get the feeling that Joanna and David each had their own marriage to the other, and failure to communicate honestly leads to their very disparate views of what should be the same thing in most respects (not all).

[M · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can't remember the last time a book made me this angry. I rooted passionately for the couple, Joanna and David, to end their miserable marriage and found myself utterly disgusted with both of them (for this reason it gets two and not one stars, because, hey, it got me feeling).
Essentially, after years of submissive marriage to her tempermental, selfish, immature 'artiste' husband, Joanna has finally had it (tho so many times she almost left him and didn't such that when she finaly does I'm like, that's it, because of that argument? How anticlimactic - you had so many better reasons for the last twenty years!) and David finds her diary and discovers who his wife has been this whole time and adds his own stupid commentary. By the end of the work what you have is a marriage that makes no sense and the two saddest people to ever come across in literature , barring perhaps A Doll's House, and I wanted to slap them both very hard.

[valentine · Rating 3 out of 5]

my mom owned this book and i never got to finish it bc it was so old a lot of the pages in the end were missing but i do remember i liked this!! david made me mad as hell tho

[Tara Dilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars - Felt very real and raw. Would have loved to see all of the other character's perspectives. I think Joanna was portrayed really well and captured a very female experience.

[Niffer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book solely based on the title. I really didn't know what to expect, but I enjoyed the book a great deal. I felt very much involved, like I was David, reading Joanna's journal, being blindsided by her views, feeling a little lost... I feel as though the author did a good job of making Joanna's journal feel very day to day, whereas David's responses were much more "in the moment" looking back at what had happened and how he'd viewed things differently.

It's been years since I read this book but it's one that I sometimes consider looking for and rereading.

[Yna Paez · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a while to finish reading the book that's why I gave it 3 stars instead of 4. I like the story. It's just that the entries were on a day-to-day basis and reading this book is like taking time to live the couple's life and not just see their perspective and honestly, I don't think I even have enough time for my own life :P But in the end, the book was really good and well organized. Sometimes funny or annoying, most of the time touching and heartwarming. :)

[Bamboozlepig · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm at the halfway point in this book and I've got to stop. This book is infuriating. I want to slap the crap out of both Joanna and David. It's written in the form of Joanna's diary that she has left for her daughter to read, but David is reading it and adding his own commentary to the diary.

Joanna is a wishy-washy woman who blindly follows her idiot husband all over, just so the poor little thing can play at being a writer. She hides in closets and cries instead of getting some backbone and standing up to the asshole. She waffles between wanting to go home to her parents and staying with the jackass she married, then she has a kid with him and cements her spot by his side. She puts up with his temper and tantrums and like all abusers, David blames her for his actions. I haven't gotten to the end, nor do I want to, but according to the reviews here on GR, she finally ditches him.

And David...hoo-boy, is he ever a fucking asshole. He's whiny and petulant and selfish. He wants to be a playwright, but keeps failing at it. He takes his misery out on his wife. His comments are very belittling and condescending on her diary. He drags her and his daughter from Dallas to NYC, to LA, to Dallas, to NYC, to LA, with some odds and ends cities tossed in there. He's following his DREAM and instead of sucking it up and growing up to be a man, he's a whiny little manchild who doesn't take responsibility for any of his actions. Everyone else is to blame, you know. The world is too stupid to recognize his amazing talent but maybe just around the corner is his big break.

This really struck a chord with me because I was married years ago to a David. Idiot Boy was whiny and petulant and selfish, never taking responsibility for his actions and always blaming me when things went wrong. He belittled me and put me down for everything from my looks to my interests. I had a chronic illness (chronic fatigue syndrome) that really limited me at times and of course, that was also my fault that I got sick. He wanted someone else and was constantly comparing me to her. I was always lacking in his eyes, and he thought if he put me down enough I would suddenly magically turn into her. For the last two years of our marriage, he made my life a living hell and the stress damn near killed me. I finally saw the light and had my fill of being told I was less than human simply because I was not his dream girl. I kicked his ass out and worked on rebuilding my life. (I got the last laugh because SHE didn't want him after our divorce was finalized, so he came crawling back to me and I refused to take him back.)

So it's not that this book isn't badly written. It's actually very well written, but I just cannot stand the characters. I see too much of my past in them. But kudos to Ms. Hailey for writing a novel that laid bare the nastier side of marriage.

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. It was unusual in that it was a series of journal entries written by Joanna (the wife) and annotated by David (her husband). It is not juicy or spicy, but a reflection over the years of a marriage. You can feel the love they have for each other as well as the frustrations, anger and hurt. It ends in an unusual way that if it has not already been written, leaves room for a sequel.

[Carol Perreault · Rating 3 out of 5]

David wants to write THE Broadway play, but continually gets rejected. Joanna loves David. She writes a diary of their married life that she leaves for her daughters to read after she leaves David, but David reads and edits it. The book is somewhat off-putting because Joanna wrote it as she lived it, but David wrote his parts from the perspective of a jilted husband.

[Tracie Sneed · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worth the read.

[Pam Smyth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book until the last few pages, then not so much. I think I will reread the last 20 pages to see if I change my mind.

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting concept for the story. A little slow at times and the ending fell off a bit. It reminded me of the era my mother grew up in.

[Tricia Cassavaugh · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 - 2 1/2 Ending somewhat disappointing

[Murray Heltzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Surprise ending. Surprise and unique format for the reader. Excellent character development.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The set-up is a bit contrived, woman keeps journal of marriage and gifts it to eldest daughter then husband reads journal and adds his opinions in decades later...but the author does a great job creating truly believable characters. They are definitely not perfect, not always nice, and don't always make perfect choices but it does make for interesting reading. I give it three stars because I got frustrated with the characters sometimes, wanting them to stop whining or being controlled, but the fact that I felt that means the author did a great job creating characters that seem so real.

[JayeL · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the things I liked about this book was the journal format. Joanna left David and left her journal behind. He reads it in an effort to understand what is happening and decides to make his own comments on her take on events. I don't agree with reading anyone's journal regardless of circumstances, but it makes for good reading.

[LittleDeadRedGoddessPersephone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always liked this book. The first time I read it I was 17 and had no idea what being an adult and being in a real relationship was about. Each time I read it, and, it has been years I understand the book more I enjoyed this book a lot. I do have to admit that each time I read it I find David more and more unlikable and wonder why Johanna doesn't just walk out at the beginning!

[Varsha Suman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brutally honest and disturbingly accurate portrayal of marriage. It will stay with you, urging you to look closer at your own relationships. The part I liked best about the book was how real the characters and the struggles seemed to me, how much I could relate to them despite the time and setting of the book.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was ok. I would have felt better if the premise had not been two parents sharing these thoughts with their daughter. At any age, children don't need, and can be damaged by, this much information about their parents. Definitely an emotional book.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a series of letters written by a couple over several years.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

i love this book. i found it on the bookshelf of a family i was babysitting for when i was 14...it was probably a little mature for me at the time but i read it at least 3 times that summer.

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely one of my favorite books. Something in this book hit home and I could relate to the characters intimately.

[Yaffa Shira · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it so long ago, but liked it.

[Lois · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this because it was recommended by my friend, Saurell. I did not care for it, but liked the names for the characters.

[Winchester · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have fond memories of reading this book. I marveled, and still do, at her writing, how she organized the story, and the story itself.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Twenty-five years of marriage from his/her perspective. I really liked reading each side of the story.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

shows the total lack of communication in a marriage - husband was an ass and wasn't too fond of the wife either - they deserved each other LOL

[Sue Kozlowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good. Looks at how everyone needs to learn to deal with their parents.

[Vishü Krocha · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very unique book.

[Patricia]

Janet W