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All the Young Dudes
All The Young Dudes - Volume Three: ‘Til the End
MsKingBean’s “All The Young Dudes” has been divided into three volumes. This third book covers... the end.
This specific volume is edited by Ren Rowland
This specific cover art is by Tilly Beavon
This specific volume is edited by Ren Rowland
This specific cover art is by Tilly Beavon
336 pages, Paperback
First published November 12, 2018
1063 people are currently reading
15701 people want to read
About the author
MsKingBean89
13 books3,152 followersMsKingBean89 is the author of a Harry Potter Marauders era fanfiction All the Young Dudes. As of 2021, they have removed all their non-HP works from their AO3 profile, as well as links to social media profiles. The fic summary states they're also not reading comments anymore.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 3,136 reviews
February 15, 2021
this is the one reason for my depression and the one reason for my happiness. that is all.
March 3, 2021
no one speak to me for 3-5 business days while i recover. i am in pieces. this isn't even the first time i've read it but i am broken
April 19, 2021
i am DESTROYED.
June 6, 2021
It's 1am and here I am crying over fictional gay wizards from the 70s.
November 14, 2025
As far as I'm concerned, there was life before atyd, and now there's life after atyd... and I've gotta learn to deal with that
September 6, 2021
Things these books have given me :
- An obssession with David Bowie and T.rex
- Gender envy for sirius black
- Nicotine addiction
- serotonin
- 70s nostalgia for some reason
- alcohol dependency
- tears
- depression
- a newfound love for toast and mars bars
- unnecessary knowledge of the date of every full moon
- gender envy for sirius black
- a new personality
- I don't think I mentioned the gender envy for sirius black
- a reason to live
- An obssession with David Bowie and T.rex
- Gender envy for sirius black
- Nicotine addiction
- serotonin
- 70s nostalgia for some reason
- alcohol dependency
- tears
- depression
- a newfound love for toast and mars bars
- unnecessary knowledge of the date of every full moon
- gender envy for sirius black
- a new personality
- I don't think I mentioned the gender envy for sirius black
- a reason to live
May 19, 2021
I’m too sad to write a review
December 27, 2021
So, you remember that scene in Mean Girls were a bus hits Regina George? Well, my heart is Regina George, and All the Young Dudes is the bus. No further comments
May 25, 2021
I don’t know, how to put it into words, but my heart hurts. I cant describe how it felt, losing everything and slowly coming to your old self. I cried so much reading this and you could literally feel how isolated Remus was. Even though the hogwarts years will forever hold a special place in my heart it was good to read the ending to such an amazing book. MsKingBean89 will forever be one of my favourite authors.
March 21, 2022
“He had never known two people could be simultaneously so angry with each other and so much in love.”
A perfect summary of this series.
A perfect summary of this series.
February 17, 2023
And Remus and Sirius lived happily ever until old age took them away. They of course took Harry in as soon as possible and made sure he was as loved as he could possibly be and they get lost telling him about the memories of his parents. They lived happily and all was well...
Right? Right.
Right? Right.
March 11, 2021
This ruined me, but in a good way.
January 30, 2022
When I tell you the last half of the book made me so angry. I don’t know what I expected! hahahahah
I forgot this was founded on original material, so when the events from canon finally came through all I could do was side-eye like UHMMMMM!?!?!
At this point, it is clear that the author has grown extremely tired with this story and just wants it finished (and who can blame them? This fic is over 1,300 pages long, and it isn't as if they were getting paid!)
Considering the numerous dangling plot-threads, jack-rabbiting pacing and the radical dissolution of the characterization (Sirius randomly deciding that Remus is untrustworthy? Remus immediately accepting Sirius as the traitor? When we've spent over 1,000 pages building love, loyalty and trust between the two? Pardon?) it looks like the author came to terms with the Everest-sized project they had ahead of them if they decided to finish their story with all of its distinctions from canon; that could have easily taken another 1,000 pages!
Rather than endlessly working, they decided to suddenly revert back to Rowling’s original plot in order to finally be done, and I respect that even if I hate it. (And oh, I hate it)
I forgot this was founded on original material, so when the events from canon finally came through all I could do was side-eye like UHMMMMM!?!?!
At this point, it is clear that the author has grown extremely tired with this story and just wants it finished (and who can blame them? This fic is over 1,300 pages long, and it isn't as if they were getting paid!)
Considering the numerous dangling plot-threads, jack-rabbiting pacing and the radical dissolution of the characterization (Sirius randomly deciding that Remus is untrustworthy? Remus immediately accepting Sirius as the traitor? When we've spent over 1,000 pages building love, loyalty and trust between the two? Pardon?) it looks like the author came to terms with the Everest-sized project they had ahead of them if they decided to finish their story with all of its distinctions from canon; that could have easily taken another 1,000 pages!
Rather than endlessly working, they decided to suddenly revert back to Rowling’s original plot in order to finally be done, and I respect that even if I hate it. (And oh, I hate it)
May 2, 2021
Everybody shut up I'm in my feels. *David Bowie intensifies*
March 2, 2021
um I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY THAT WAS SO DEPRESSING YET SO WELL WRITTEN UGH I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE OLD DAYS PLEASE
February 5, 2022
u guys ....... what in the hell.......
December 3, 2022
the amount of pictures i have of my crying while reading this is kind of funny
February 28, 2024
فکر میکنم اولین بار بود که فنفیکشن میخوندم، و آیا بیرحمیه که بگم این فنفیک حتی از خود مجموعه هری پاتر بهتر بود؟
حقیقتا انتظار خلق شخصیتهایی اینچنین فوق العاده زنده و واقعی رو نداشتم؛ که دلم براشون بشکنه، براشون ذوق کنم، باهاشون عزاداری کنم و خوشحالیشون من رو یاد خاطرات خودم بندازه. و نمیدونم که اگه هریپاتر رو هرگز نخونده بودم، آیا باز هم این مجموعه انقدر بهم میچسبید؟ یا این تاثیر برگشتن به دنیای هاگوارتز بعد از گذشتِ بیشتر از ۱۰ ساله؟
احتمالا باید در وصف این مجموعه، جملهای که گرنت به ریموس گفت رو بگم:
You've been my little bit of magic...
حقیقتا انتظار خلق شخصیتهایی اینچنین فوق العاده زنده و واقعی رو نداشتم؛ که دلم براشون بشکنه، براشون ذوق کنم، باهاشون عزاداری کنم و خوشحالیشون من رو یاد خاطرات خودم بندازه. و نمیدونم که اگه هریپاتر رو هرگز نخونده بودم، آیا باز هم این مجموعه انقدر بهم میچسبید؟ یا این تاثیر برگشتن به دنیای هاگوارتز بعد از گذشتِ بیشتر از ۱۰ ساله؟
احتمالا باید در وصف این مجموعه، جملهای که گرنت به ریموس گفت رو بگم:
You've been my little bit of magic...
August 19, 2024
If you had told me that I would be legit sobbing over Grant Chapman, a character that's not even in the OG series, I would've told you you're absolutely mental, but bestie babes, this entire book finished me. I haven't sobbed like this in a long ass time. The chapter from Grant's POV destroyed me. I will never be the same. I'm still teary-eyed, not gonna lie. I know I won't be sleeping well for a long time (bc them intrusive thoughts about how James died thinking Harry would 100% die, knowing that it was Peter who betrayed him, will surely kick in) but I'm wishing ya'll a GOODNIGHT. I am logging the fuck off. GOODBYE.
Notable & favorite moments:
▪ the book starting off with a party at the Potters for the graduation class of 1978 – can you hear me sobbing? I love that we got to see a Hogwarts graduation, since we never got to see one in the OG series
▪ "Remus tried not to be so sad. He tried to imagine that one day he would find somewhere else that felt as much like home as Hogwarts had." – STOPPP
▪ Euphemia being the iconic ally that she is, having no problem with Remus and Sirius sharing a room <3
▪ "Effie sent Molly a few of James's old things for Bill and Charlie." – I love these cross references!!
▪ Sirius wanting to impress Hope and being worried that he won't do, Remus replying dryly: "You'll be standing next to me. She'll be impressed." – WHY IS MKB A COMEDIAN? Get that girl her Netflix special!
▪ "Anything for our Moony, eh?" – ohmigod, Remus, gurl, SAME, the way all of his friends show up to support him on the day of his mother's funeral, BITCHES I AM TEARS
▪ possibly unpopular opinion but I wasn't the biggest fan of the werewolf infiltration plotline, like, I understand why it's important and that it helped move the story forward (sowing the seed of doubt in Sirius and the boys in regards to Remus's true alliances yadayadayada) BUT it was too little Marauders for me in the first third of the book and too much Livia/Castor/Gaius/Greyback... which I didn't care for...
▪ Greyback destroying Remus's wand – the way I GASPED
▪ Remus using a silencing spell on Gaius to show his dominance ... besties, I HATE IT HERE
▪ Remus actually killing Gaius in werewolf form, to ensure that Greyback's pack would be split – he did what he had to do but damn!
▪ Sirius to Remus: "I'd known you anywhere." (when Remus is upset about the safety protocol with all the questions and having James assume that he's an impostor after he's been gone for literal months) – why are the two of them serving Miller's branch of Achilles and Patroclus?? ("I would know him in death, at the end of the world.")
▪ Sirius's Patronus thought being the summer they spent in Cornwall - STOP IT RIGHT NOW
▪ "You said you don't know who you are anymore. But I do. You're my Moony. Always will be. Ok?" <3
▪ James and Lily announcing that they'll get married and Remus being overjoyed, meanwhile Padfoot is loosing his shit... and honestly, can't blame the guy, James should've told him on his own, that's his BESTIE right there!
▪ "He's just jealous, I knew he would be." She laughed, catching Remus's look, "Not like that, Moony, it's obvious he's madly in love with you, I mean he's worried he's going to lose his best friend." – HAHA you might think what a sweet understanding comment from our homegirl Lily but WHEN YOU ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT Sirius did lose James due to Lily (bc without Jily, no Harry). So please leave me alone while I go SCREAM in a corner, GOODBYE
▪ "This is the only wedding I will ever support." – gotta love Sirius the drama queen
▪ Sirius teaching Lily how to dance bc she's too embarrassed to ask James, my heart <3
▪ Sirius learning of Regulus' death in the newspaper - first (of many) times I cried during my read of this book
▪ James: "It'll be over for good, one day. I know it will, Moony. We've just got to do our best until then." AND YOU WILL NOT BE THERE FOR ANY OF IT, THIS IS SO FUCKING SICK, BESTIES I AM ANGRY AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME
▪ Sirius going to his old childhood haunts and Remus finding him by a statue there. "Yeah, Douceline - our governess - went mad trying to put it out. But we kept laughing, me and Reggie, and every time she extinguished it I just did it again, because it made him so happy." – LEGIT TEARS IN MY EYES
▪ "Go to bed, boys." She shouted. "See you at the top of the aisle, Potter." – WHY IS LILY THE BEST GIRL??
▪ Sirius counting along during Jily's first dance – STOPPP
▪ Sirius locking himself in the bathroom after hearing that the Potters have dragon pox - I AM UPSET
▪ "If our home is even half as welcoming as theirs, I'll be proud." - Arthur Weasley at the Potters' funeral – DO YOU HEAR ME CRY?
▪ "It still didn't feel very fair. Time is meaningless, when it comes to the people you love, Remus reflected. Eleven months had not been enough time with Hope - and twenty years had probably not been enough for James." – STOP
▪ James learning from his past mistakes, telling Sirius on his own that Lily is pregnant <33
▪ James calling out to Sirius first after Harry's birth, yelling from the top of the staircase: "Padfoot? It's a boy." – BITCHES the way I LOVE that James and Sirius are BESTIES, you will never understand, it's so fucking important to me that their dynamic is different to the rest of the group!
▪ Sirius being convinced that Harry is advanced for his age, I LOVE EVERYONE
▪ Ferox being ripped to pieces by Greyback and Livia
▪ "Not James! He was the very best of them. He was the one who had to make it, no matter what. How could there be a world without James Potter? You might as well picture a world without kindness, or laughter, or mischief." – STOPPP, that early death scare already had me in tears knowing that James would die a year from now, so STOPP IT, MKB
▪ "--After everything that's happened I want my best friends nearby." James replied. Remus felt a swell of pride at that - to James, good sportsmanship extended to every element of his life. To mistrust the people he loved would be highly dishonourable. – LISTEN JAMES IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD
▪ "To our friends," he said, shooting a slightly pointed glance at Sirius, "Who've always been there for us, through thick and thin - Lily, Harry and I love you all so much." – when I tell you the little speech that James gave to reassure his friends (mainly Sirius) that there's not a spy among them felt like a farewell speech and it had me sobbing bc this man was so fucking trusting and Wormtail really had the audacity to betray him, knowing that it would mean not only his death but also the death of his child and wife, BESTIES IT IS SICK – the entire Marauders plot line is ABSOLUTELY SICK, I REBUKE IT
▪ After Marlene's (<3) death: "She was a better beater than me. Wish I told her." "She knew." <3 I love all of them so much
▪ now listen WHY did I do this to myself and decided to read Halloween 1981 from Sirius's POV bc let me tell you RCW knows what they're doing, the chapter: "The War: The Rat" is literally perfection, Sirius disbelief at seeing James' body, him realising it was Peter who betrayed them, him hesitating to kill Peter, him starting to manically laugh once he realises that Peter had this whole thing planned and would frame him for murder, the final lines of that chapter: "As they closed in on him, Sirius laughed." – LITERAL CHILLS I CANNOT, everything makes so much sense, THANKS AND I HATE IT HERE
▪ " James died first. Remus ought to have expected that. He would have been waiting right at the front door; it would never even cross his mind to hide, or run." – did you ever think about the fact that James died thinking that Voldemort would succeed in killing his wife AND son??? HOW HORRIFYING IS THAT???
▪ Remus blocking Sirius out, being unable to cope with the fact that he's the one who betrayed them – I AM IN PAIN
▪ "No one owes you a happy life." "No, but you owe yourself one, love." - Remus reconnecting with Grant is the best fucking thing ever and how that played out made me sob uncontrollably but I wanna thank GOD and MKB that she invented Grant Chapman bc I don't wanna live in a world without him – HE IS A LITERAL ANGEL
▪ one thing I didn't enjoy (or thought unlikely) was how little thought Remus gave to Harry? I feel even though he felt hella guilty for not looking through Sirius and being hella traumatised by the war himself, I feel like Remus would've tried to make sure that Harry was okay/happy and not just trust Dumbledore's word for it
▪ 1991, and Remus thinking how Harry would start Hogwarts and how no one would be there to see him off – I AM DONE
▪ => "Remus tried to picture himself, aged 11, crossing through the barrier at King's Cross for the first time. It had been nerve-wracking and exhilarating, and he hadn't known how to act, how to relate to anyone else. And then he'd met James, the first friendly face on the train that day. It was too cruel that Harry wouldn't ever know him." - STOP IT
▪ "It was ten years ago. You still act as if I don't matter as much as he did." - GRANT, bestie, you deserve better <3
▪ Remus going into his first gay bar with Grant – A MAN OF CULTURE
▪ "He remembered his friends cheering when Mary and Sirius kissed in the Gryffindor common room, all those years ago - that had been Remus's birthday, too, and the date of Remus and Sirius's first kiss, which had happened in shadows. Almost all of their kisses had been hidden away, because deep down they both knew that no one wanted to see that. Not in the seventies, not at Hogwarts." – I CANNOT
▪ Remus not wanting to take the teaching job but then Dumbledore manipulating him by bringing up Harry and how much he looks like James, and then Remus deciding to take the job after all, for Harry... and for James - BITCH I AM SOBBING AGAIN <3
▪ "It's wonderful to see you, Remus." - WHY IS MINNIE EVERYTHING? Like, I will be opening a Minnie and Poppy stan club, feel free to join!
▪ I was not always the biggest fan of the little poems or lyrics at the beginning of each chapter but the one for "Early summer: 1995", the summer in which Remus and Sirius reconcile after the big reveal, hit me in the feels: "I thought you died alone / A long long time ago." – CAN WE NOT?
▪ Remus allowing himself to be mad at Sirius (and James, and Lily) for not consulting him on the "secret keeper" question, like YES, I think it's important for him to let those feelings out
▪ Speaking of the little poems/lyrics, "Summer 1995" has me even more in my feels: "A long time ago / I watched him struggle with the sea. / I knew that he was drowning, / And I brought him into me / Now today / Come morning light / He sails away / After one last night / I let him go." – when I tell you there are legit tears in my eyes typing this right now? This entire chapter, the only chapter written from Grant's POV in the entire series, is my favorite chapter of MKB's. It is literal perfection. And Grant is just the fucking best. That poem summarises his relationship to Remus so well. He was there for him at a time when no one else was, and he loves him (and himself) enough to let him go. I AM UPSET!
▪ "So, he wasn't a genius, but he did know some things. He liked to think that at the very least, he knew when it was time to make a graceful exit." - STOP IT, Grant I hope you find the love of your life someday, I need you to be fine <3
▪ "Yes, they were obviously still in love, and it was not the same kind of love Grant and Remus had. He didn’t know if it was better or not, but he could practically feel the conflict tearing Remus apart. He didn’t want to tear Remus apart; he never had. He still wanted to keep him safe." – HE IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD
▪ and then the next chapter being from Sirus's POV, and we have him thinking how proud James would be of Harry <333
▪ and of course, his feelings of animosity towards Grant, totally unjustified, but understandable, given what this poor man has been through in the last decade <33
▪ "I'm the one who's been here." Grant returned, shortly. "I don't think you get how hard it's been. I don't think you… look; you had him at his best, ok? I had his worst." He smiled, a little, "And I was glad to do it. I have one part of him. You have the other. Can we agree?" – GRANT BABY DON'T MAKE ME CRY AGAIN
▪ "I haven't always been fair to you." Remus said. He had wanted to say it for a long time now. He wanted some kind of forgiveness. "You've been fine," Grant smiled, without a trace of blame. "You've been my little bit of magic." <333 I AM IN TEARS, AGAIN
▪ "It's good that you had someone." Sirius said. "I'm glad you weren't alone." <33 ANd besties that makes me sob as well but Sirius WAS alone, in Azkaban, 13 years, IT IS UNIMAGINABLE
▪ I applaud MKB for ending at a happy note, right before Order of the Phoenix, with Sirius and Remus finally being together again but besties, we all know how this story ends and I AM HERE UPSET AGAIN. I HATE IT HERE. SO FUCKING MUCH. The Marauders story/time line is excellent beyond belief. One of the most tragic stories ever. MKB did them justice. <33
Notable & favorite moments:
▪ the book starting off with a party at the Potters for the graduation class of 1978 – can you hear me sobbing? I love that we got to see a Hogwarts graduation, since we never got to see one in the OG series
▪ "Remus tried not to be so sad. He tried to imagine that one day he would find somewhere else that felt as much like home as Hogwarts had." – STOPPP
▪ Euphemia being the iconic ally that she is, having no problem with Remus and Sirius sharing a room <3
▪ "Effie sent Molly a few of James's old things for Bill and Charlie." – I love these cross references!!
▪ Sirius wanting to impress Hope and being worried that he won't do, Remus replying dryly: "You'll be standing next to me. She'll be impressed." – WHY IS MKB A COMEDIAN? Get that girl her Netflix special!
▪ "Anything for our Moony, eh?" – ohmigod, Remus, gurl, SAME, the way all of his friends show up to support him on the day of his mother's funeral, BITCHES I AM TEARS
▪ possibly unpopular opinion but I wasn't the biggest fan of the werewolf infiltration plotline, like, I understand why it's important and that it helped move the story forward (sowing the seed of doubt in Sirius and the boys in regards to Remus's true alliances yadayadayada) BUT it was too little Marauders for me in the first third of the book and too much Livia/Castor/Gaius/Greyback... which I didn't care for...
▪ Greyback destroying Remus's wand – the way I GASPED
▪ Remus using a silencing spell on Gaius to show his dominance ... besties, I HATE IT HERE
▪ Remus actually killing Gaius in werewolf form, to ensure that Greyback's pack would be split – he did what he had to do but damn!
▪ Sirius to Remus: "I'd known you anywhere." (when Remus is upset about the safety protocol with all the questions and having James assume that he's an impostor after he's been gone for literal months) – why are the two of them serving Miller's branch of Achilles and Patroclus?? ("I would know him in death, at the end of the world.")
▪ Sirius's Patronus thought being the summer they spent in Cornwall - STOP IT RIGHT NOW
▪ "You said you don't know who you are anymore. But I do. You're my Moony. Always will be. Ok?" <3
▪ James and Lily announcing that they'll get married and Remus being overjoyed, meanwhile Padfoot is loosing his shit... and honestly, can't blame the guy, James should've told him on his own, that's his BESTIE right there!
▪ "He's just jealous, I knew he would be." She laughed, catching Remus's look, "Not like that, Moony, it's obvious he's madly in love with you, I mean he's worried he's going to lose his best friend." – HAHA you might think what a sweet understanding comment from our homegirl Lily but WHEN YOU ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT Sirius did lose James due to Lily (bc without Jily, no Harry). So please leave me alone while I go SCREAM in a corner, GOODBYE
▪ "This is the only wedding I will ever support." – gotta love Sirius the drama queen
▪ Sirius teaching Lily how to dance bc she's too embarrassed to ask James, my heart <3
▪ Sirius learning of Regulus' death in the newspaper - first (of many) times I cried during my read of this book
▪ James: "It'll be over for good, one day. I know it will, Moony. We've just got to do our best until then." AND YOU WILL NOT BE THERE FOR ANY OF IT, THIS IS SO FUCKING SICK, BESTIES I AM ANGRY AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME
▪ Sirius going to his old childhood haunts and Remus finding him by a statue there. "Yeah, Douceline - our governess - went mad trying to put it out. But we kept laughing, me and Reggie, and every time she extinguished it I just did it again, because it made him so happy." – LEGIT TEARS IN MY EYES
▪ "Go to bed, boys." She shouted. "See you at the top of the aisle, Potter." – WHY IS LILY THE BEST GIRL??
▪ Sirius counting along during Jily's first dance – STOPPP
▪ Sirius locking himself in the bathroom after hearing that the Potters have dragon pox - I AM UPSET
▪ "If our home is even half as welcoming as theirs, I'll be proud." - Arthur Weasley at the Potters' funeral – DO YOU HEAR ME CRY?
▪ "It still didn't feel very fair. Time is meaningless, when it comes to the people you love, Remus reflected. Eleven months had not been enough time with Hope - and twenty years had probably not been enough for James." – STOP
▪ James learning from his past mistakes, telling Sirius on his own that Lily is pregnant <33
▪ James calling out to Sirius first after Harry's birth, yelling from the top of the staircase: "Padfoot? It's a boy." – BITCHES the way I LOVE that James and Sirius are BESTIES, you will never understand, it's so fucking important to me that their dynamic is different to the rest of the group!
▪ Sirius being convinced that Harry is advanced for his age, I LOVE EVERYONE
▪ Ferox being ripped to pieces by Greyback and Livia
▪ "Not James! He was the very best of them. He was the one who had to make it, no matter what. How could there be a world without James Potter? You might as well picture a world without kindness, or laughter, or mischief." – STOPPP, that early death scare already had me in tears knowing that James would die a year from now, so STOPP IT, MKB
▪ "--After everything that's happened I want my best friends nearby." James replied. Remus felt a swell of pride at that - to James, good sportsmanship extended to every element of his life. To mistrust the people he loved would be highly dishonourable. – LISTEN JAMES IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD
▪ "To our friends," he said, shooting a slightly pointed glance at Sirius, "Who've always been there for us, through thick and thin - Lily, Harry and I love you all so much." – when I tell you the little speech that James gave to reassure his friends (mainly Sirius) that there's not a spy among them felt like a farewell speech and it had me sobbing bc this man was so fucking trusting and Wormtail really had the audacity to betray him, knowing that it would mean not only his death but also the death of his child and wife, BESTIES IT IS SICK – the entire Marauders plot line is ABSOLUTELY SICK, I REBUKE IT
▪ After Marlene's (<3) death: "She was a better beater than me. Wish I told her." "She knew." <3 I love all of them so much
▪ now listen WHY did I do this to myself and decided to read Halloween 1981 from Sirius's POV bc let me tell you RCW knows what they're doing, the chapter: "The War: The Rat" is literally perfection, Sirius disbelief at seeing James' body, him realising it was Peter who betrayed them, him hesitating to kill Peter, him starting to manically laugh once he realises that Peter had this whole thing planned and would frame him for murder, the final lines of that chapter: "As they closed in on him, Sirius laughed." – LITERAL CHILLS I CANNOT, everything makes so much sense, THANKS AND I HATE IT HERE
▪ " James died first. Remus ought to have expected that. He would have been waiting right at the front door; it would never even cross his mind to hide, or run." – did you ever think about the fact that James died thinking that Voldemort would succeed in killing his wife AND son??? HOW HORRIFYING IS THAT???
▪ Remus blocking Sirius out, being unable to cope with the fact that he's the one who betrayed them – I AM IN PAIN
▪ "No one owes you a happy life." "No, but you owe yourself one, love." - Remus reconnecting with Grant is the best fucking thing ever and how that played out made me sob uncontrollably but I wanna thank GOD and MKB that she invented Grant Chapman bc I don't wanna live in a world without him – HE IS A LITERAL ANGEL
▪ one thing I didn't enjoy (or thought unlikely) was how little thought Remus gave to Harry? I feel even though he felt hella guilty for not looking through Sirius and being hella traumatised by the war himself, I feel like Remus would've tried to make sure that Harry was okay/happy and not just trust Dumbledore's word for it
▪ 1991, and Remus thinking how Harry would start Hogwarts and how no one would be there to see him off – I AM DONE
▪ => "Remus tried to picture himself, aged 11, crossing through the barrier at King's Cross for the first time. It had been nerve-wracking and exhilarating, and he hadn't known how to act, how to relate to anyone else. And then he'd met James, the first friendly face on the train that day. It was too cruel that Harry wouldn't ever know him." - STOP IT
▪ "It was ten years ago. You still act as if I don't matter as much as he did." - GRANT, bestie, you deserve better <3
▪ Remus going into his first gay bar with Grant – A MAN OF CULTURE
▪ "He remembered his friends cheering when Mary and Sirius kissed in the Gryffindor common room, all those years ago - that had been Remus's birthday, too, and the date of Remus and Sirius's first kiss, which had happened in shadows. Almost all of their kisses had been hidden away, because deep down they both knew that no one wanted to see that. Not in the seventies, not at Hogwarts." – I CANNOT
▪ Remus not wanting to take the teaching job but then Dumbledore manipulating him by bringing up Harry and how much he looks like James, and then Remus deciding to take the job after all, for Harry... and for James - BITCH I AM SOBBING AGAIN <3
▪ "It's wonderful to see you, Remus." - WHY IS MINNIE EVERYTHING? Like, I will be opening a Minnie and Poppy stan club, feel free to join!
▪ I was not always the biggest fan of the little poems or lyrics at the beginning of each chapter but the one for "Early summer: 1995", the summer in which Remus and Sirius reconcile after the big reveal, hit me in the feels: "I thought you died alone / A long long time ago." – CAN WE NOT?
▪ Remus allowing himself to be mad at Sirius (and James, and Lily) for not consulting him on the "secret keeper" question, like YES, I think it's important for him to let those feelings out
▪ Speaking of the little poems/lyrics, "Summer 1995" has me even more in my feels: "A long time ago / I watched him struggle with the sea. / I knew that he was drowning, / And I brought him into me / Now today / Come morning light / He sails away / After one last night / I let him go." – when I tell you there are legit tears in my eyes typing this right now? This entire chapter, the only chapter written from Grant's POV in the entire series, is my favorite chapter of MKB's. It is literal perfection. And Grant is just the fucking best. That poem summarises his relationship to Remus so well. He was there for him at a time when no one else was, and he loves him (and himself) enough to let him go. I AM UPSET!
▪ "So, he wasn't a genius, but he did know some things. He liked to think that at the very least, he knew when it was time to make a graceful exit." - STOP IT, Grant I hope you find the love of your life someday, I need you to be fine <3
▪ "Yes, they were obviously still in love, and it was not the same kind of love Grant and Remus had. He didn’t know if it was better or not, but he could practically feel the conflict tearing Remus apart. He didn’t want to tear Remus apart; he never had. He still wanted to keep him safe." – HE IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD
▪ and then the next chapter being from Sirus's POV, and we have him thinking how proud James would be of Harry <333
▪ and of course, his feelings of animosity towards Grant, totally unjustified, but understandable, given what this poor man has been through in the last decade <33
▪ "I'm the one who's been here." Grant returned, shortly. "I don't think you get how hard it's been. I don't think you… look; you had him at his best, ok? I had his worst." He smiled, a little, "And I was glad to do it. I have one part of him. You have the other. Can we agree?" – GRANT BABY DON'T MAKE ME CRY AGAIN
▪ "I haven't always been fair to you." Remus said. He had wanted to say it for a long time now. He wanted some kind of forgiveness. "You've been fine," Grant smiled, without a trace of blame. "You've been my little bit of magic." <333 I AM IN TEARS, AGAIN
▪ "It's good that you had someone." Sirius said. "I'm glad you weren't alone." <33 ANd besties that makes me sob as well but Sirius WAS alone, in Azkaban, 13 years, IT IS UNIMAGINABLE
▪ I applaud MKB for ending at a happy note, right before Order of the Phoenix, with Sirius and Remus finally being together again but besties, we all know how this story ends and I AM HERE UPSET AGAIN. I HATE IT HERE. SO FUCKING MUCH. The Marauders story/time line is excellent beyond belief. One of the most tragic stories ever. MKB did them justice. <33
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March 9, 2022idk who said that the marauders “died” , because i literally was just having coffee with them last week. i don’t give a fuck what joanne said, just because she wrote the characters doesn’t mean she knows shit about them.
anyways i’m so glad they’re all happy and alive and are best friends who raised harry together in a loving home! yup. i thrive on delusions
anyways i’m so glad they’re all happy and alive and are best friends who raised harry together in a loving home! yup. i thrive on delusions
February 7, 2022
The story of the mauraders is so tragic and heartbreaking, and this fanfic managed to span all their years together (and apart) so beautifully. I really loved the addition of Grant as an essential character in Remus’s life, and I thought the epilogue was lovely. This is most definitely the best fanfiction I’ve ever read, and it was woven in a way where you could certainly almost consider it as “canon” material. This is an essential read for anyone who loves Harry Potter and who wished for a proper maurader’s backstory.
February 11, 2022
i am misery and pain
December 5, 2022
Apparently I don't torture myself enough and had to give this a reread. However, I did take my time on this for this round, and I don't know whether it was to prolong the pain because I'm masochistic or because I couldn't handle the pain again and needed breaks. This story will never fail to make me cry. It is crushing and raw and beautiful. MsKingBean89 has ruined me yet again.
I will never be the same.
I will never be the same.
February 15, 2024
if ur currently reading this, blink twice if u need saving
March 25, 2021
no words... I am empty
May 8, 2022
currently sobbing 😃👍
October 2, 2024
I guess it's the price you pay for seven years in heaven
June 2, 2021
*includes spoilers*
3.5 Stars
Still liked it, but it didn't sit right that Remus accepted so quickly and never questioned motives or anything relating to the betrayal. Grant was great here. The "i got him at his worst and still loved him" like oof.
Marlene's death was the only one that got to me. James and Lilly felt a bit rushed.
I sort of understand why they ended it where they did because it remained canon compliant, but it's simultaneously a terrible place to end, because of what we know happens next in canon, and are we supposed to assume that's how it pans out and if so that is heart-breaking , because not only have they got no time to make up for what was lost, but Remus is going to go on and marry Tonks and have a kid. ATYD Remus simply wouldn't i mean....
3.5 Stars
Still liked it, but it didn't sit right that Remus accepted so quickly and never questioned motives or anything relating to the betrayal. Grant was great here. The "i got him at his worst and still loved him" like oof.
Marlene's death was the only one that got to me. James and Lilly felt a bit rushed.
I sort of understand why they ended it where they did because it remained canon compliant, but it's simultaneously a terrible place to end, because of what we know happens next in canon, and are we supposed to assume that's how it pans out and if so that is heart-breaking , because not only have they got no time to make up for what was lost, but Remus is going to go on and marry Tonks and have a kid. ATYD Remus simply wouldn't i mean....
February 4, 2022
well i wanna die
June 2, 2023
I will never be the same. MsKingBean89, thank you for making me cry like a five year old over fictional characters. Haven't felt like this for a long time.
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