Humiliation: And Other Essays on Honor, Social Discomfort, and Violence

by William Ian Miller

How do we feel when our friend turns up with a holiday present and we have nothing ready to give in exchange? What lies behind our small social panics and the maneuvers we use, to avoid losing face? Recognizing how much we care about how others see us, this wise and witty book tackles the complex subject of humiliation and the emotions that keep us going as self-respecting social actors.

William Ian Miller writes astutely about a host of homely and seemingly banal social occasions and shows us what is buried behind them. In his view, our lives are permeated with sometimes merely uncomfortable, sometimes hair-raising rituals of shame and humiliation. Take the unwanted dinner invitation, the exchange of valentines in grade school, or the "diabolically ingenious invention of the bridal registry." Readers will have no trouble recognizing the social situations he finds indicative of our often perilous dealings with each other.

Educated as a literary critic and philologist, by profession a historian of medieval Iceland, by employment a law professor, Miller ranges comfortably beyond his areas of formal expertise to talk about emotions across time and culture. His scenarios are based on incidents from his own college town and from the Iceland of the sagas. He also makes incursions into the emotional worlds represented in the Middle English poem, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and in some of the works of Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, and others. Indeed, one theme that gradually becomes specific is how meaning travels from one culture to another. Ancient codes of honor, he insists, still function in contemporary American life.

Some of Miller's narratives are unsettling, and he acknowledges that a certain ironical misanthropy may run through his discussions. But he succeeds in cutting through a mountain of pretensions to entertain and enlighten us.

Genres: Philosophy, Psychology, Nonfiction, Essays, Sociology, History, Social

270 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1993

Reviews

[Lobstergirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

According to its Library of Congress call number, this is a book about psychology, subsection affection, feeling, emotion. This is a little misleading. Miller isn't a psychologist; most of his examples are drawn from literature, especially the Icelandic sagas, Dostoyevsky, and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. But if you're put off by those sources, there's still a lot in here to enjoy. Much of the first chapter is about gift exchanges, both ancient and modern. Gift exchanges are bound up with honor, status differences, and the potential for embarrassment and humiliation. Miller investigates the historical development of shame, one of the oldest emotions; its cousins, embarrassment and humiliation, are relative latecomers.

This, from the Introduction, gives a taste of what follows:

One might hazard the strong claim (with some amount of irony) that our world is divided into two types of people: those who humiliate themselves but who are too insentient to know it, and those who feel each social interaction as a minefield in which one's esteem and self-esteem can be blown into a million foolish little shards. These latter are in the mold of the characters who crowd the pages of Dostoyevsky's novels; they find that the best strategy for avoiding humiliation is to become expert at enduring it, even to self-inflict it in order to have it on their own terms. These are the souls who accept that humiliation is a fact of social life, who make sure never to be caught being seen as foolish without knowing that they are playing the fool, and who never let others see them without first seeing themselves as others would, while presuming these others to be as expert in discerning a fool as they themselves are. They can then satisfy themselves on their greater perspicacity, their greater self-awareness, and on their ability to manipulate the audience that condemns them.

[Kyle Muntz · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's been a long time since I read an academic book like this, but Miller's approach--somwhere between anthropology, sociology, and literary critcism--was fascinating, and the first section on gift giving dort of changed the way I see human interaction. The writing is a bit dull and technical but the book as a whole covers a really nice range, even if the first section was my favorite.

[Ign33l · Rating 5 out of 5]

This brother explains things clear; the green knight does a test to humiliate the horny friend and the horny friend fails, ends up trying to copulate with the green knights main wife & gets caught.
RIP

That’s a big lesson; M.O.B.

[Cassell · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first essay was excellent. It became somewhat rambly at times.

[saizine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating look at the interaction between shame, humiliation, gift-giving, violence, social attitudes/expectations, honour and emotion. The range of examples is vast and engaging, from the sagas to dinner invitations to homicides. I read this to accompany readings for university module that spent a week on medieval reconciliation and vengeance, and Humiliation was a wonderful theoretical accompaniment. Recommended for anyone who’s interested in the topics indicated in the subtitle, no matter the era you’re particularly interested in!

[Ryan]

re negative emotions). Cool book