The Asshole Pandemic: A Field Guide to ID’ing, Deleting, and Healing from Toxic Relationships

by A.C. Koch

Finding a healthy relationship can feel as discouraging as trying to find Big Foot in the woods. Especially if you grew up in a toxic household, it can be really difficult to be able to identify red flags and what toxic looks like since that is what you were taught was "normal." This book is unlike most relationship books you will come across. It's a mixture of a book and workbook that is funny, raw, real, and doesn't drag things out. It tells you what you need to hear to move forward towards a healthier life and relationships and tackles different types of toxic people you want to look out for. It helps you to better understand things that may have confused you in the past and helps you to work towards finding the relationship you deserve.

The Asshole Pandemic guides you through the process of figuring out what your needs are, how to set better boundaries, communication, and working through identifying red flags, so that you are better able to navigate through the dating world.

This is your moment to change your path. It's your time to no longer tolerate toxic people and take back the power they have stolen from you.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction

334 pages, Paperback

Published August 28, 2020

Reviews

[Carmen · Rating 5 out of 5]

You cannot change someone. You cannot save someone. But you can choose to love yourself enough to make the right choices for yourself and choose who you will keep in your life and how long they will stay



I really liked this book and found the questions proposed very interesting.

[Kira Thebookbella · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Every abuser has a different story, and no matter what their reason is, it is no excuse for the behavior."

This book is exactly what is described in the title. It is a nonfiction book about the 6 biggest types of toxic people, plus a crash course in red flags and setting healthy boundaries. This book was really informative and it helped me to realize that there were red flags I didn't see previously, because I didn't know what to look for. I think this is a good and through intro to the subject matter and points you in the right direction. I have not read anything in the subject matter before, but I enjoyed it and found it relevant, current and extremely informative.

[Cora Bartz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I could never quite put into words what I was going through, but in one of the chapters the author had it spot on. Thank you!

[Tamara Curtin]

Tried to read after seeing tik tok content. Should have stuck with tik tok. Best ingested 90 seconds at a time.

[Ryan Leroux · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect timing on ready it for me.

I've been going through a lot in my life and this book shares quite a few aspects on what I've already been focused towards. Would recommend to others 10/10

[Anastasiya M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Relief came first, followed closely by recognition, and then a surprising sense of clarity. This book set out to name toxic behaviour plainly and unapologetically, and that directness was exactly why it worked. It tackled patterns of manipulation, boundary erosion, and emotional exhaustion without tiptoeing around discomfort. What made it matter was how validating it felt to see these experiences named without being softened or dismissed.

The delivery balanced sharp humour with grounded insight, which kept the content engaging without undermining its seriousness. The structure was easy to follow, building concepts in a way that felt practical rather than preachy. Examples were used effectively to illustrate patterns most people recognise but struggle to articulate. The pacing suited audio well, never dragging but also never rushing past ideas that needed space to land. The tone stayed firm and empowering, avoiding both victim blaming and empty reassurance.

What stayed with me most was how much this book shifted my perspective on responsibility and healing. It challenged the idea that enduring bad behaviour is a form of strength and reframed walking away as an act of self respect rather than failure. It delivered exactly what it promised by offering language, tools, and permission to disengage without guilt. This was equal parts confronting and freeing, and it left me feeling better equipped rather than weighed down, which is not easy to achieve with a topic like this.

Read more here: https://annietheinkdrinker.wordpress....

[Rachel S · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Asshole Pandemic by A.C. Koch is a self help guide to ID’ing, Deleting, and Healing from Toxic Relationships. Thanks to the workbook portion of this book, this book finished out at 2.5/5⭐️ overall.

At some points, I felt called out. Others, it was like I was reading bios of people I had dated…and married (then divorced). I’ve had this one in my TBR as long as I’ve had KU. Therefore, it was slightly disappointing that some of this felt redundant to other similar books I had read. It was even more frustrating because the author’s social media videos always feel as if they have more depth, more insight, & more emotion behind them. I get more out of those if you compare the two.
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Finding a healthy relationship can feel as discouraging as trying to find Big Foot in the woods. Especially if you grew up in a toxic household, it can be really difficult to be able to identify red flags and what toxic looks like since that is what you were taught was "normal."

The Asshole Pandemic guides you through the process of figuring out what your needs are, how to set better boundaries, communication, and working through identifying red flags, so that you are better able to navigate through the dating world.

This is your moment to change your path. It's your time to no longer tolerate toxic people and take back the power they have stolen from you.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

In today's society, you are expected to be perfect, to have it all figured out, and to be everything others expect you to be.
As a guy I first struggled to face the wounds my past relationships have caused me, with an attitude beaten into me "suck it up, it isn't that bad" It's not an easy thing to do.
Change was needed, I kept being taken advantage of, used, and abused by a variety of people who claimed to have loved me the most.
The result was that I became extremely critical of myself, to an extent that I have had emotionally abusive behavior toward myself.
Even tho I was afraid to dive deeper into my healing, I did it and put my all into utilizing this book.
With laughter, charme and empathy the fear eventually lowered and I was able to let myself fall into The Asshole Pandemic.
My Copy is so shredded today because I took it with me, anywhere I went until I was through with it.
Re-reading my answers from a while ago was an interesting experience.
I recommend this book to any guy who is slightly finding themselves in this review.
Vulnerability is strong, empathy is a gift and a clear picture of who you actually are, what you want in life and especially in love is a true blessing.
Thank you Angelika for getting right to the point in your book and providing essential tools to help people finding their most true and authentic self.

[Maryanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't know what I wanted for nearly all my life, if Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Shakespeare had got together to collaborate, my life would have been the result.
I decided no more and included this workbook in my healing journey.
The mirror this Book held into my face was a rough one to look at, but it was so worth it to face the demons of my past that have caused me so much pain.
I love the empathic nature of this book, with a great sense of humor one is guided through the process of uncovering what barely anyone pays attention to.
Today's dating scene is like a Colosseum in the Holy Roman Empire, with the only difference being that we have dating apps these days.
I have worked through this book twice now with a couple of months in between, the growth I was able to experience is beyond anything my younger self would have ever thought to achieve.
I am beyond grateful for this book and will read any new piece that is hopefully to come soon in the future. Thank you.

[Lakecia Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely appreciated the author for their candid, spot on descriptions of types of abusers. Her energy throughout my reading this book held my attention and I could feel her desire to genuinely help people heal their traumas. As well as teaching one how to recapture their self-love and self-respect, it is given in a gender neutral way. She also encourage abusers who may want to change. Awesome self-help book!

[Jessabell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This workbook provided me with all the necessary tools to work on my own toxic traits and to figure out what I want.
As a survivor of toxic and abusive relationships, I am grateful for the knowledge provided in this book.
A must-have for anyone who is sick and tired of repeating the same cycle all over again.

[Jimmy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic Self-help book!
I wish I could go back and read it again, just to be able to experience it for the first time once more.
But considering it, the worksheets have opened my eyes to what I want in life and love, I wouldn't want to miss that.
Looking forward to future books from this author!

[Sarah Lazowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hard truths!

This book will make you see the hard truths that you don't want to see. The ones you hide under your bed because you fear them. I'm very glad that I read this book, because now I can work on me to be a better me.

[Yousef Odat · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best self help guide ever 💙

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really helpful book to start healing from toxic relationships.

[Amanda Rollison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Followed in TikTok

Followed you in TikTok because I loved your content there. It definitely carries over into your writing. Loved the book!