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Self-Contained: A Memoir of a Lifelong Single
The memoir that will make you realise you complete you
" I'm about to turn 40, have no boyfriend and can't be sure of one any time I haven't been on a date in three years. I'm tired of Tinder, bored of Bumble - I've even been ejected by eHarmony, who, last time I logged on, told me it couldn't find me a single match. "
There used to be a well-known statistic that a woman is more likely to be killed by a terrorist than marry after the age of 40. But it is now thought that single women without children are some of the happiest people in the population.
In this raw, hilarious and beguilingly honest memoir, Self-Contained explores what happens when you chose to exist not in a partnership, but as a self-partner instead. Emma shares what it's like to turn up at a child's birthday celebration alone and how it feels to be the 'uneven number' at the dinner party, but she celebrates the freedom of being accountable only to herself.
Self-Contained captures life when you are a single figure, not a double digit. Perhaps it's time we asked ourselves if the happy ending we're all searching for is the moment we realize we complete ourselves.
" I'm about to turn 40, have no boyfriend and can't be sure of one any time I haven't been on a date in three years. I'm tired of Tinder, bored of Bumble - I've even been ejected by eHarmony, who, last time I logged on, told me it couldn't find me a single match. "
There used to be a well-known statistic that a woman is more likely to be killed by a terrorist than marry after the age of 40. But it is now thought that single women without children are some of the happiest people in the population.
In this raw, hilarious and beguilingly honest memoir, Self-Contained explores what happens when you chose to exist not in a partnership, but as a self-partner instead. Emma shares what it's like to turn up at a child's birthday celebration alone and how it feels to be the 'uneven number' at the dinner party, but she celebrates the freedom of being accountable only to herself.
Self-Contained captures life when you are a single figure, not a double digit. Perhaps it's time we asked ourselves if the happy ending we're all searching for is the moment we realize we complete ourselves.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published September 7, 2021
27 people are currently reading
992 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
November 4, 2021
I knew Emma at university, so I've taken a proprietorial pleasure in seeing her name in newspaper bylines over the years. She was in the year above me and we weren't close but we both studied English and were into student drama, so we did rub shoulders. The force of her personality was much in evidence around college - to an innocent fresher she came across as zany and bohemian - but she was also kind and supportive.
Without knowing Emma I probably wouldn't have come across this book, but the topic did interest me because I have friends and acquaintances who are single at this sort of age, yet would in my biased opinion make wonderful partners. This is a very personal book - a confessional memoir rather than a wide-ranging discussion of the reasons people are single - but it is illuminating nonetheless, very funny, revealing and sometimes painful. Clearly a versatile writer, Emma's usual style is to soften the more painful blows with a joke; when she doesn't, you really feel them.
The book's central question is whether singlehood can be a complete and satisfying state, and what can make it so. No man is an island... but to what extent can a human being be "self-contained"? I remember a pearl of wisdom dispensed by another fellow student in the year above me at college. I can't remember exactly how he put it but the gist was that being single isn't better or worse than being with someone, they are just two states capable of an infinite variety of gradations of happiness or misery. And I think experience of life bears this out.
What this book makes abundantly clear, however, is that one key difference between being single and, say, being married with children, is the amount of time you have for self-reflection. Time to think can be a blessing or a curse. I'm tempted to say that for most people, it's a blessing in moderation and a curse in excess. If single people are less content - and I'm not saying they are - it may simply be because they have too much time to spend thinking about whether they are happy. There is a flipside to this - that married people with children never have time to think about what they really want, let alone how to get it - but then you could say they are already experiencing what they wanted. Their single friends are faced with the daunting task of working it out.
Without knowing Emma I probably wouldn't have come across this book, but the topic did interest me because I have friends and acquaintances who are single at this sort of age, yet would in my biased opinion make wonderful partners. This is a very personal book - a confessional memoir rather than a wide-ranging discussion of the reasons people are single - but it is illuminating nonetheless, very funny, revealing and sometimes painful. Clearly a versatile writer, Emma's usual style is to soften the more painful blows with a joke; when she doesn't, you really feel them.
The book's central question is whether singlehood can be a complete and satisfying state, and what can make it so. No man is an island... but to what extent can a human being be "self-contained"? I remember a pearl of wisdom dispensed by another fellow student in the year above me at college. I can't remember exactly how he put it but the gist was that being single isn't better or worse than being with someone, they are just two states capable of an infinite variety of gradations of happiness or misery. And I think experience of life bears this out.
What this book makes abundantly clear, however, is that one key difference between being single and, say, being married with children, is the amount of time you have for self-reflection. Time to think can be a blessing or a curse. I'm tempted to say that for most people, it's a blessing in moderation and a curse in excess. If single people are less content - and I'm not saying they are - it may simply be because they have too much time to spend thinking about whether they are happy. There is a flipside to this - that married people with children never have time to think about what they really want, let alone how to get it - but then you could say they are already experiencing what they wanted. Their single friends are faced with the daunting task of working it out.
June 8, 2021
Sometimes you see a book that just seems to have been written with you in mind and Contained Scenes From A Single Life by Emma John seemed to be one of those books. It was and it is! I am single, resolutely so, happily so most of the time and yet I have often felt like a square peg the world is trying to shove into a round hole, because society sees my single hood, as a failure to be a meaning member of a club that caters only for couples. There are many women out there, that are single by choice or circumstances and most are living happy and fulfilled lives. While others want to be in a relationship, but one that nourishes them and so while they enjoy a single life, the pressure from families, who just want them to be happy, feels like a weight of expectation that threatens to stifle them.
Emma John’s Contained Scenes from a Single Life is an often funny, moving tale of how she has comes to understand that it is important for all women to live the life that fits them best, that babies are not for everyone, that women can love sport, travelling and deserving of friendships that cater to their interests. That they can be both whole and happy individuals if marriage doesn’t happen, because the significant other, whom we are all told is out there, simply isn’t, or is rather annoyingly hiding in plain site. This is a book that says, my life may not be the one I expected to lead, not the one I thought I wanted, but despite all of that, it is when I take a step back, look closely, one that is full of endless possibilities and many wonderful memories.
What I found incredibly moving is when she writes abut how she didn’t feel whole, because the man, meant to make her feel a complete unit hasn’t arrived yet. The complex emotions she has to deal with when facing the fact that he might never. How hard it is when all her friends are pairing off into couples and she feels surplus to requirements. The moments of loneliness and frustration. Even more touching is when she talks of how when travelling, she made friendships that will be with her for life, that she is wanted, that she is whole, that she perfect as she is, even without a partner. She takes us on a journey through a life that she spends time making others feel less uncomfortable with her single-hood, to one in which she celebrates and she can be happy single, while being open to meeting someone. But until then and if it never happens, she is ‘whole’ and fantastically so.
Reading this book has made he more determined not feel weighed down by others expectations of my life choices. I’m going to embrace sitting alone in a cafe watching the world go past. Go to the theater on my own if no one wants to join me, or just because I want to. I will cherish the friendships of people that both nourish and sustain me.
Emma John’s Contained Scenes from a Single Life is an often funny, moving tale of how she has comes to understand that it is important for all women to live the life that fits them best, that babies are not for everyone, that women can love sport, travelling and deserving of friendships that cater to their interests. That they can be both whole and happy individuals if marriage doesn’t happen, because the significant other, whom we are all told is out there, simply isn’t, or is rather annoyingly hiding in plain site. This is a book that says, my life may not be the one I expected to lead, not the one I thought I wanted, but despite all of that, it is when I take a step back, look closely, one that is full of endless possibilities and many wonderful memories.
What I found incredibly moving is when she writes abut how she didn’t feel whole, because the man, meant to make her feel a complete unit hasn’t arrived yet. The complex emotions she has to deal with when facing the fact that he might never. How hard it is when all her friends are pairing off into couples and she feels surplus to requirements. The moments of loneliness and frustration. Even more touching is when she talks of how when travelling, she made friendships that will be with her for life, that she is wanted, that she is whole, that she perfect as she is, even without a partner. She takes us on a journey through a life that she spends time making others feel less uncomfortable with her single-hood, to one in which she celebrates and she can be happy single, while being open to meeting someone. But until then and if it never happens, she is ‘whole’ and fantastically so.
Reading this book has made he more determined not feel weighed down by others expectations of my life choices. I’m going to embrace sitting alone in a cafe watching the world go past. Go to the theater on my own if no one wants to join me, or just because I want to. I will cherish the friendships of people that both nourish and sustain me.
February 13, 2022
The author candidly talks about her life as a single woman in London. I found it thought provoking and funny.
May 17, 2021
I read Emma John's first book 'Following On', which is on cricket, recently, and I loved it so much that I decided to read her newest book 'Self-Contained : Scenes from a Single Life'. This one came out just ten days back and so it is literally hot off the press.
The book starts with a party to which Emma John is invited. She appears to be the only single person out there. At some point someone asks her the inevitable question – whether she is single or has a partner. Emma John takes off from there and explores the single life from different perspectives – as a sister, as a daughter, as a friend who hangs out with guys, as a woman with many girlfriends, as a woman whose roommate and best friend is a guy who is gay, as an aunt who is single, as a romantic partner who finds it hard to settle down. Emma John is frank and honest when she shares her story and the story of her family and friends, and sometimes she takes an unflinching look at herself which must have required an incredible amount of bravery and courage. Sometimes it is frustrating to read about the things she does, but it is hard not to admire her courage in sharing it. Through the book Emma John highlights the good things that the single life has to offer, while also talking about the things that single people yearn for, which they don't have.
I loved 'Self-contained'. It is a beautiful, insightful, thought-provoking book. It talks about an unconventional facet of life which is becoming increasingly important in today's world. I'd like to say that it is a celebration of single life, but I don't think it is. I think it is a nuanced portrayal of single life in all its complexity. I'm glad I read it.
I'll leave you with a couple of my favourite passages from the book.
"Some say there is a state of flow inherent to manual pursuits, a hypnotic effect that encourages a mindful calm, and it is true that you can’t act out your anger with a roller brush (at least, not without splattering yourself). That night was my proof, however, that you can both paint yourself into a corner and decorate yourself into a depression. The moon was high outside the window by the time I gave up."
"I often had fantasies about living in the past. A privileged past, obviously; I wasn’t interested in the world my real ancestors inhabited, struggling to keep their dozen children alive in a Welsh mining village or blacking the stoves of an east London slumlord. No, my escapism was born from a heady mix of my two favourite TV shows: Poirot, starring David Suchet, and Jeeves and Wooster, with my comic heroes Fry and Laurie in the eponymous roles. Both aired on ITV during my highly impressionable teenage years. The lead performances were sufficient to colour me obsessed; the intoxicating production design evoked a universe of its own. I quickly applied myself to the books too, reading and rereading them long after the plots had ceased to hold any surprises. Then came Dorothy L Sayers’s Lord Peter Wimsey stories and Brideshead Revisited – both the novel and the Anthony Andrews version. From then on, I immersed myself in pretty much anything that involved aristocrats, monocles or spats. Whenever I was bored of my surroundings – which happened frequently enough – I wished, with a passion that outweighed reason, that I had been born into the pages of these golden-age stories rather than my dull, unglamorous real life. I reimagined myself as one of their characters: a sharp-tongued, shingle-haired socialite with a devil-may-care attitude and a cigarette holder poised seductively between her lips. Her outline was drawn from 1930s detective stories and shaded with the devastating hauteur of a young Katharine Hepburn. She had the wise-cracking wit of Dorothy Parker, the intemperance of Zelda Fitzgerald and the stylistic flair of Elsa Schiaparelli. She was the sum of everything I wished I could be but wasn’t."
Have you read 'Self-Contained'? What do you think about it?
The book starts with a party to which Emma John is invited. She appears to be the only single person out there. At some point someone asks her the inevitable question – whether she is single or has a partner. Emma John takes off from there and explores the single life from different perspectives – as a sister, as a daughter, as a friend who hangs out with guys, as a woman with many girlfriends, as a woman whose roommate and best friend is a guy who is gay, as an aunt who is single, as a romantic partner who finds it hard to settle down. Emma John is frank and honest when she shares her story and the story of her family and friends, and sometimes she takes an unflinching look at herself which must have required an incredible amount of bravery and courage. Sometimes it is frustrating to read about the things she does, but it is hard not to admire her courage in sharing it. Through the book Emma John highlights the good things that the single life has to offer, while also talking about the things that single people yearn for, which they don't have.
I loved 'Self-contained'. It is a beautiful, insightful, thought-provoking book. It talks about an unconventional facet of life which is becoming increasingly important in today's world. I'd like to say that it is a celebration of single life, but I don't think it is. I think it is a nuanced portrayal of single life in all its complexity. I'm glad I read it.
I'll leave you with a couple of my favourite passages from the book.
"Some say there is a state of flow inherent to manual pursuits, a hypnotic effect that encourages a mindful calm, and it is true that you can’t act out your anger with a roller brush (at least, not without splattering yourself). That night was my proof, however, that you can both paint yourself into a corner and decorate yourself into a depression. The moon was high outside the window by the time I gave up."
"I often had fantasies about living in the past. A privileged past, obviously; I wasn’t interested in the world my real ancestors inhabited, struggling to keep their dozen children alive in a Welsh mining village or blacking the stoves of an east London slumlord. No, my escapism was born from a heady mix of my two favourite TV shows: Poirot, starring David Suchet, and Jeeves and Wooster, with my comic heroes Fry and Laurie in the eponymous roles. Both aired on ITV during my highly impressionable teenage years. The lead performances were sufficient to colour me obsessed; the intoxicating production design evoked a universe of its own. I quickly applied myself to the books too, reading and rereading them long after the plots had ceased to hold any surprises. Then came Dorothy L Sayers’s Lord Peter Wimsey stories and Brideshead Revisited – both the novel and the Anthony Andrews version. From then on, I immersed myself in pretty much anything that involved aristocrats, monocles or spats. Whenever I was bored of my surroundings – which happened frequently enough – I wished, with a passion that outweighed reason, that I had been born into the pages of these golden-age stories rather than my dull, unglamorous real life. I reimagined myself as one of their characters: a sharp-tongued, shingle-haired socialite with a devil-may-care attitude and a cigarette holder poised seductively between her lips. Her outline was drawn from 1930s detective stories and shaded with the devastating hauteur of a young Katharine Hepburn. She had the wise-cracking wit of Dorothy Parker, the intemperance of Zelda Fitzgerald and the stylistic flair of Elsa Schiaparelli. She was the sum of everything I wished I could be but wasn’t."
Have you read 'Self-Contained'? What do you think about it?
June 4, 2021
This is an honest and personal insight into Emma’s observations of her single life at different points in time and events. It is funny, it is sad, it is reflective - Emma captures aspects of single life that only a person who is not attached to someone can see and feel and experience - from having to endure parties where everyone’s chats centre around the baby to crushing rejection by getting zero matches on a dating app. She notes how despite a world where we are embracing more inclusivity and diversity, there is still a stigma in being single and how you’re somehow incomplete without having a partner. However, she realises that love can come in all shapes and forms and romantic love isn’t necessarily the only love that we us humans have. So while there are poignant and painful moments in Emma’s life being single, she also celebrates the joy in her single life and how she can live a whole and fulsome life without a partner.
This is a refreshing memoir to read that looks at life from this perspective, particularly as there are so many books that deal with motherhood and relationships. The writing style also makes this very readable where you feel like you’re befriending Emma as she shares her personal experiences.
Thoughtful, reflective and poignant accounts of navigating life as a singleton, and reflecting that life can be full of joy and happiness even if you go through life on your own.
This is a refreshing memoir to read that looks at life from this perspective, particularly as there are so many books that deal with motherhood and relationships. The writing style also makes this very readable where you feel like you’re befriending Emma as she shares her personal experiences.
Thoughtful, reflective and poignant accounts of navigating life as a singleton, and reflecting that life can be full of joy and happiness even if you go through life on your own.
May 15, 2022
You know how the words “childfree” versus “childless” have a slight difference in connotation? This is like reading a partnerless version when I was really hoping for a partnerfree one.
December 5, 2021
I found the possibility and overall idea of this book inviting, not least because it described a life not too dissimilar to my own. However I was more than a bit disappointed by it’s overall execution. I’m not sure if it was the stance the author/protagonist took on the single life that made me feel this way.
Whilst it was well written, there was an undertone of embarrassment of actually being single, or if not embarrassment over it entirely then a sense of guilt at not being entirely comfortable with the life of a singleton. I had hoped for this to be a book championing the non-attached state of living. Instead it felt a little bemoaning and underwhelming. Sorry Emma I’m sure you’re lovely in real life.
Whilst it was well written, there was an undertone of embarrassment of actually being single, or if not embarrassment over it entirely then a sense of guilt at not being entirely comfortable with the life of a singleton. I had hoped for this to be a book championing the non-attached state of living. Instead it felt a little bemoaning and underwhelming. Sorry Emma I’m sure you’re lovely in real life.
January 12, 2022
Immersed in a similar world
Loved this book because it is so obviously based on a very real life and is so candid. I very much got redirected to this by Emma John's superb interview in the Solo podcast.
Loved this book because it is so obviously based on a very real life and is so candid. I very much got redirected to this by Emma John's superb interview in the Solo podcast.
August 21, 2022
Hopeful message at the end for the singles out there.
December 18, 2023
I loved everything about this book and felt really understood and seen (although I‘m 32 and not 40). I wish it had never ended! Ugh, so so brilliant!
July 1, 2022
A really personal and candid insight into Emma's life. For me, this hit close to home. Many of her thoughts and feelings are ones I have expressed as a someone who enjoys the single life. It was refreshing and hopeful to read about someone's similar experience who has played it out a bit longer than me. Writing style was enjoyable too.
Want to read
April 3, 2022I do not usually read memoirs, and I'm honestly probably not going to read this book for quite a few years if I ever do pick it up, but it kinda just looks like a good book.
March 30, 2022
Narcissistic, but well written.
March 13, 2022
I went into this thinking it was going to be a bold celebration of being single, full of positivity and self-love. However, it was refreshingly honest and poignant.
There are no statistics or survey results. It is not an exploration into the landscape of singledom as I was expecting. It is a collection of stories from one woman's life, moving between humorous and sombre in an admirably seamless way.
It was not the joyful celebration of being single that I was expecting and John is very open about both her assumption she would one day be married and the fear of that never happening. Her acceptance of being self-contained comes very late in the book, but it was my favourite part.
I often feel let down by the last few chapters of books. They're often rushed and weak and loose ends are not tied up, and they can make me dislike an otherwise great book. This was one of my favourite endings. It's the kind of ending that makes me so happy it turns back to sad (yes that is a TS reference).
Overall, it was a big yes from me. There were parts that were reminiscent of Everything I Know About Love, which I wasn't mad about when I read it, but it's stuck with me for a long time for the way it celebrates the love between friends and I think Self-Contained will stick with me for the same reason.
There are no statistics or survey results. It is not an exploration into the landscape of singledom as I was expecting. It is a collection of stories from one woman's life, moving between humorous and sombre in an admirably seamless way.
It was not the joyful celebration of being single that I was expecting and John is very open about both her assumption she would one day be married and the fear of that never happening. Her acceptance of being self-contained comes very late in the book, but it was my favourite part.
I often feel let down by the last few chapters of books. They're often rushed and weak and loose ends are not tied up, and they can make me dislike an otherwise great book. This was one of my favourite endings. It's the kind of ending that makes me so happy it turns back to sad (yes that is a TS reference).
Overall, it was a big yes from me. There were parts that were reminiscent of Everything I Know About Love, which I wasn't mad about when I read it, but it's stuck with me for a long time for the way it celebrates the love between friends and I think Self-Contained will stick with me for the same reason.
March 14, 2022
3/5 - Not exactly what I was expecting but entertaining nonetheless.
Recommend? A light recommend if the blurb catches you
Reread? Probably not...
Recommend? A light recommend if the blurb catches you
Reread? Probably not...
July 14, 2021
Life dictates that we as humans, pair up. Bonnie and Clyde, Adam and Eve, Tom and Jerry. It's not a set rule on who with which sex we pair up with, but the ultimate goal it would seem, is to be a partnership. Or is it?
Some people are actually just happy, to be single. And we should respect that. Not always make the first question we ask, when we meet someone new, after what you do for a job, are you married? Then the enviable once you are in a partnership it evolves to - getting married, then you must be thinking about children? again, some people choose not to have children, its their right. And some choose to be single. But it makes people react and question, they want to know why.
And its not that she doesn't want to be part of a couple, its just that having always been better at being friends with men than women and working in a male dominated sports industry, she's worked with and made friends easier with men than she has intimate relationships with men. And she's come to peace with it and isn't always upset that it didn't work out, but is able to carry on living happily, as a single person. Because it really is possible and should be acceptable as a life choice. Situations of arriving at children's parties, adult dinners and the awkwardness of strangers that make Emma feel not complete all add to these 'Scenes from a Single Life'.
Well done Emma John for writing openly, a funny and honest book about a heart-ache issue. Theres lots of books out there about relationships and family life, parenting. But Self Contained is a memoir about self chosen single life. And the fact it may be easier than being a couple.
Some people are actually just happy, to be single. And we should respect that. Not always make the first question we ask, when we meet someone new, after what you do for a job, are you married? Then the enviable once you are in a partnership it evolves to - getting married, then you must be thinking about children? again, some people choose not to have children, its their right. And some choose to be single. But it makes people react and question, they want to know why.
And its not that she doesn't want to be part of a couple, its just that having always been better at being friends with men than women and working in a male dominated sports industry, she's worked with and made friends easier with men than she has intimate relationships with men. And she's come to peace with it and isn't always upset that it didn't work out, but is able to carry on living happily, as a single person. Because it really is possible and should be acceptable as a life choice. Situations of arriving at children's parties, adult dinners and the awkwardness of strangers that make Emma feel not complete all add to these 'Scenes from a Single Life'.
Well done Emma John for writing openly, a funny and honest book about a heart-ache issue. Theres lots of books out there about relationships and family life, parenting. But Self Contained is a memoir about self chosen single life. And the fact it may be easier than being a couple.
March 9, 2022
3.5 stars. This was good and I enjoyed it. Very relatable scenes. In some parts though, the writing became a bit dense, that's why I'm not giving it a 4.
July 10, 2021
My thanks to Charlotte at Lovereading for the invite, and publishers Octopus Books for my gifted review copy of 'Self-Contained' which is out in e-book now, and hardcover in September.
This book is a memoir, drawing on real life scenarios from holidays with platonic male friends (and the ensuing reaction from family and friends), to wedding parties, engagements and other social occasions where that question comes up.
'Are you with somebody?'
Sigh. I remember it well. Being treated as if you, as a single person, were somehow less than the sum of the whole that you are with another person.
Coupledom.
Reproduction.
The ultimate goal, the smug looks when people say 'when you meet the one, you will change your mind.'
MAHOOSIVE sigh.
But this is not an angry book. It is not a judgemental book. It doesn't rail against those people who look down on/pity the singles, it is an extremely well written, and erudite exploration of the modern life of a single woman. And it is a bloody good one.
What Emma does so very succinctly is skewer the perceptions of a patriarchal society that seeks to define you by the parameters it sets.
A life is no less worthy because it is flown solo.
And it is no less hilarious and moving.
I loved it and, no matter where you are in your relationship with yourself, or a partner, this book has so much to offer its readers.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and would recommend this unreservedly.
This book is a memoir, drawing on real life scenarios from holidays with platonic male friends (and the ensuing reaction from family and friends), to wedding parties, engagements and other social occasions where that question comes up.
'Are you with somebody?'
Sigh. I remember it well. Being treated as if you, as a single person, were somehow less than the sum of the whole that you are with another person.
Coupledom.
Reproduction.
The ultimate goal, the smug looks when people say 'when you meet the one, you will change your mind.'
MAHOOSIVE sigh.
But this is not an angry book. It is not a judgemental book. It doesn't rail against those people who look down on/pity the singles, it is an extremely well written, and erudite exploration of the modern life of a single woman. And it is a bloody good one.
What Emma does so very succinctly is skewer the perceptions of a patriarchal society that seeks to define you by the parameters it sets.
A life is no less worthy because it is flown solo.
And it is no less hilarious and moving.
I loved it and, no matter where you are in your relationship with yourself, or a partner, this book has so much to offer its readers.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and would recommend this unreservedly.
June 29, 2021
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thank you to @ EM_JOHN @octopus_books_ @randomtours for allowing me a spot of the blog tour for #selfcontained
As a single woman, this book totally resonated with me. A funny and charming story of a single girl who is hopeful for love but her Prince Charming seems to be taking his time and she finds her myself consistently unlucky in the love department. Surrounded by couples is sometimes hard, but with a good group of friends around, she finds life a bit easier.
The onus sides of being single: the whole bed to yourself to starfish and be comfy, no mes left by untidy men, and most of all....learning how to be that independent woman that is inside all of us.
A great read that I would totally recommend x
#bookblog #bookreadersofinstagram #bookcommunity #bookreview #goodreads #bookaddict #bookworm #booksbooksbooks #girlsthatread #scottishreader #bookchallenge #popsugarreadingchallenge #bookgeek #givemeabookandimhappy #bookreviewer #bookreviewersofinstagram #bookobsessed #readingisgood #scottishbookstagrammer #bookaholic #whatiread #readerssupportingauthors #pageturners #booklife #bloggergirl #themagicofbooks #turnthepage #bookwormsunited #readinggos
Thank you to @ EM_JOHN @octopus_books_ @randomtours for allowing me a spot of the blog tour for #selfcontained
As a single woman, this book totally resonated with me. A funny and charming story of a single girl who is hopeful for love but her Prince Charming seems to be taking his time and she finds her myself consistently unlucky in the love department. Surrounded by couples is sometimes hard, but with a good group of friends around, she finds life a bit easier.
The onus sides of being single: the whole bed to yourself to starfish and be comfy, no mes left by untidy men, and most of all....learning how to be that independent woman that is inside all of us.
A great read that I would totally recommend x
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July 2, 2023
This wasn’t my cup of tea. Lacking in insight, it reads like the diary of someone whose privileged life never forced her to grow up. This immaturity has unfortunate consequences as the author has delusions of grandeur about what her life should be and what kind of person is worthy of her. The narcissistic narration is charming and witty at times. But for the most part I was bored. Being single doesn’t seem to be a choice in this memoir, but a default state for someone who hasn’t figured out how to connect with others more deeply. It was quite depressing to read. The title is misleading. This is not about someone who has figured out a new way to live, but rather about a person flailing as they unsuccessfully attempt to find a partner. I was hoping for a book about a self-actualized woman. This isn’t that. I have to admit that I didn’t finish the book because I was too bored and too sad.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 6, 2022
Though it was well written, I wasn't particularly gripped. I previously had read Dolly Alderton's Everything I Know About Love, and in light of that, Self-Contained was a slight disappointment. I'm also not sure how to engage or respond to the "I'm better friends with men" and "I get better along with men" and "I hang out with men" and "I'm not like other women who take time to dress" narrative Emma constantly refers to as a point of pride (?), not as a point of recognition. That solidly threw me off any comfort I could derive from John's life. Her interest in her friends' lives too, is, rather banal and she doesn't seem interested in finding a community after most of her friends couple and burrow into their lives.
You're better off reading The Art of Not Falling Apart.
You're better off reading The Art of Not Falling Apart.
April 21, 2024
A candid account of life as a single, childfree middle-aged woman. The author recognises her own cognitive dissonance, born from patriarchal assumptions about what the "typical" woman should want for herself. It is clear she has done a great deal of work to unpick these assumptions and come to the conclusion that to be single isn't to kill time until you can partner up, and doesn't equate to a personal lack. Ultimately an empowering message which identifies we are each complete and full beings, with or without partners and children.
February 4, 2022
While Emma John is very articulate about her own experiences, I nonetheless feel she would benefit greatly from getting in touch with inner life and 'unpacking' some of the assumptions she holds about herself, others, and how relationships (platonic, romantic or otherwise) work. Not a great deal of warmth to this text.
February 18, 2022
This was great. Emma’s reflections made me laugh out loud, see myself a little too closely and also remind me why I love being alone (most of the time!)
It was also a comforting book for me right now; a nod to my past, present and future. The English-ness of it was also nostalgic and sweet.
It was also a comforting book for me right now; a nod to my past, present and future. The English-ness of it was also nostalgic and sweet.
February 23, 2022
Thanks Emma for writing this, cos honestly, I was about to! ;)
June 3, 2021
My review for this incredible book is on my blog https://thefallenlibrarian.Wordpress....
July 3, 2021
Great read. Loved it!
August 1, 2021
I haven’t related to a book this much, ever. I loved it.
December 29, 2021
Some moments of brilliance, but at times struggled to hold my attention.
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