Funeral for Flaca

by Emilly Prado

Funeral for Flaca is an exploration of things lost and found—love, identity, family—and the traumas that transcend bodies, borders, cultures, and generations.

Emilly Prado retraces her experience coming of age as a prep-turned-chola-turned-punk in this collection that is one-part memoir-in-essays, and one-part playlist, zigzagging across genres and decades, much like the rapidly changing and varied tastes of her youth. Emilly spends the late 90’s and early aughts looking for acceptance as a young Chicana growing up in the mostly-white suburbs of the San Francisco Bay Area before moving to Portland, Oregon in 2008. Ni de aquí, ni de allá, she tries to find her place in the in between.

Growing up, the boys reject her, her father cheats on her mother, then the boys cheat on her and she cheats on them. At 21-years-old, Emilly checks herself into a psychiatric ward after a mental breakdown. One year later, she becomes a survivor of sexual assault. A few years after that, she survives another attempted assault. She searches for the antidote that will cure her, cycling through love, heartbreak, sex, an eating disorder, alcohol, an ever-evolving style, and, of course, music.

She captures the painful reality of what it means to lose and find your identity, many times over again. For anyone who has ever lost their way as a child or as an adult, Funeral for Flaca unravels the complex layers of an unpredictable life, inviting us into an intimate and honest journey profoundly told with humor and heart by Emilly Prado.

Genres: Memoir, Essays, Nonfiction, Latinx, Queer, Spanish Literature, Biography

200 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2021

About the author

Emilly Giselle Prado is a writer, DJ, and educator living in Portland, Oregon with roots in the San Francisco Bay Area and Michoacán, Mexico. As an award-winning multimedia journalist, Emilly spent half a decade independently reporting on a wide range of topics, most often centered on amplifying the voices and experiences of people from historically marginalized communities. Her writing and photographs have been published widely, appearing in more than 30 publications including NPR, Marie Claire, Bitch Media, Eater, Oxygen, The Oregonian, Remezcla, and Travel Oregon.
Emilly is the author of Funeral for Flaca, a winner of a 2022 Pacific Northwest Book Award called, “Utterly vulnerable, bold, and unique,” by Ms. Magazine. She is also the author of Examining Assimilation, a youth non-fiction title at the intersections of identity and U.S. history. Emilly is a Tin House and Las Dos Brujas Workshop alumna, Blackburn Fellow and MFA Candidate at Randolph College, and a co-founder of Portland in Color. She moonlights as DJ Mami Miami with Noche Libre, the Latinx DJ collective she co-founded in 2017. Learn more at www.emillyprado.com or social media @emillygprado.

Reviews

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that is so many things at once–a heartbreaking coming of age, a search for self-identity, a comic time capsule of youth, a fiery dedication to family and friends, a scream for justice, and a love letter to musical roots. I'm biased of course, because I published the book, but I knew Emilly had a special way with her thoughts and words when I read this book in its early zine-ish format. Working on the book has helped me grow as an editor and reader.
My favorite essays are Say You'll Be There (about a crushing show-and-tell moment), Keep Ya Head Up (about her various young fashion phases), So Rich, So Pretty (on eating disorders & bad grades), You Will Always Bring Me Flowers (bipolar disorder), Not Ready to Make Nice (on rape and male aggression), In Dreams (facing near death), and It's My Brown Skin (her ancestry.com story).
But I wanted to mention a chapter that, on my first editorial read-through, I suggested cutting out. It's the 4th essay: Super Nova Girl. It's a simple two-pager that describes a Friday night at home (her older sister out at a football game), enjoying the television all to herself, eating her favorite fast food while her mom folds laundry in the kitchen. It's a snapshot that seems almost frozen in sepia tone, with Emilly's descriptions unfussy and nearly meditative. It seems as if nothing really happens, and even ends with the sentence: I am happy. Now that the book is done though, I can see how this small moment–this mood–is a welcome moment of peace in a life where peace was never too easy. For those pages (43 and 44), there is an innocence that is serene and peaceful. In a strange way, the scene is a lasting beacon throughout the book–a moment that many would take for granted.
Emilly's writing is often sly like that. It pulls you in when you're not expecting it. It's showing you something real and true. It holds your hand like a loving friend, and sometimes squeezes to make sure you know she's there. What a gift.

[Grapie Deltaco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeply personal, fast-paced, and incredibly warm.

This collection of personal essays explores so much about the author’s upbringing and sense of self/identity. Watching the development from childhood to adulthood was brutal, jarring at times, and just so raw.

I’m not sure why it’s so difficult to write reviews for essay collections and memoirs but I genuinely don’t have the words to properly explain the development and journey of this real life person beyond simply feeling proud of this complete stranger for how far she’s come.

CW: parental abandonment, depiction of eating disorder (anorexia), brief description of past rape, discussions surrounding rape and sexual assault, recurring mentions of depictions of racism + xenophobia, internalized racism + colorism, brief mentions of pedophilia and grooming, depiction and discussion of self harm, brief mentions of past suicidal ideation, infidelity, brief mentions of biphobia, depictions of manic and depressive episodes, substance abuse, dying and dead loved ones, grief, brief mentions/discussions of police brutality + violence

[S.G. Huerta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely a contender for my favorite book of 2021.

Here is my full review, published in Porter House Review: https://porterhousereview.org/article...

[Dora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend for high school (and up) teachers in need of memoirs and essays.

Emilly’s essays take us through her life’s traumas, transformations, humor and honesty in growing up Chicana.

[Lau · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I love reading a variety of books, I specially love those that narrate the deeply personal and leave me with a deeper understanding of the human experience. This book does that for me in a way just a few have throughout my life, I felt seen and understood, I felt comforted and confronted. I devoured it in a day, knowing I’ll yearn to return for many years to come.

[Hailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I REALLY love this book. Emilly Prado's work is what I love about memoir and creative nonfiction. The parts that were relatable made me feel seen and the parts I couldn't relate to still made my heart ache. Her voice is unique and beautiful. I found myself desperately flipping through pages even when I wanted to savor her powerful style. Thank you SO MUCH to my friend SG for getting this for me for Christmas!! (I may not always get to read everything you give me right away, but when I get to them I always love them!)

[Sophia M · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gorgeous, approachable, and visceral. An incredible portrait of a growing up in America.

[Carissa Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

A friend invited me to attended Prado’s book signing event for Funeral For Flaca back in 2021. As a baby cousin passed around celebratory cake, I bought a copy of this collection of essays, too timid to wait for Prado to be pulled away from friends and family to ask her to sign it. A whole move across the country later, I find myself wrapping up this book, touched, sobbing, full of heartache and the familiar phantom pains of surviving the early 00s. This book is tender and difficult and lovely, I cannot recommend it enough!

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

My book club just finished this this and I'm so glad we chose it! All of these essays are deeply personal to the author but also so familiar as a 30 something on the west coast. Prado weaves the silly and pointless parts of everyday life in with the trauma that is also part of everyday life effortlessly, making readers reminisce about their own failed punk fashions and pages later reflect on more important issues of race, gender, mental health, and more. A great read and I can't wait to see more from Emilly Prado!

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Prado takes an unsparing look at her own life and the complexities and contradictions at the heart of growing up Latina in the United States. Full of music and nostalgia and wit and warmth, this is a must read for anyone who struggled / is struggling to figure out what they're supposed to do next.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really thoughtful and transporting book from one of my favorite small presses. I’m holding on to this to gift to just the right teen someday!

[Ivana]

FUNERAL FOR FLACA’s a Chicana punk rock memoir, one that unlocked in me memories of teen recklessness, angst, self-discovery, and kickass Disney Channel movies. This book reads like your BFF Emilly is sharing her life with you, pictures and all (LOVE that those are added). I inhaled it in two sittings. The book brought me back to boozy high school parties, crappy boyfriends, late nights at the beach and sketchy baseball fields 🤷🏻‍♀️, pirating emo music on Kazaa, lining my lower lids with heavy black eyeliner (WHYYY?), changing my song and my top friends on MySpace, weekends my little sister would dye my hair while we blasted the 🔥 playlists we always titled ~dye my hair bitchez [insert number here].~ It also reminded me of all the times I felt like I wasn’t enough, all the fights I picked, and all the times I hurt myself and others cuz I had a lot of unresolved issues o. O
  
I recommend this book to fans of Jaquira Díaz’s ORDINARY GIRLS or anyone who’s tired of cloyingly sweet and over-the-top/clichéd ~inspiring~ memoirs about Latinés overcoming adversity in the United States. Emilly has a lot to be proud of, but she’s so real and her story is deeply engrossing and relatable. The book is also <200 pages and features a fabu playlist.   

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a touching and heartfelt collection of essays spanning childhood through early adulthood. I found her writing to be accessible, raw, heartfelt, blistering at times, unapologetic, and authentic. As usual, I gravitate towards memoirs or other writing that brings truth telling. This one did not disappoint. I also really appreciated reading a local Portland writer with Bay Area roots. Her references to location where all were all also familiar. It helped me feel more connected to this writer and her experience.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the introduction Emilly talks about how both kid and young adult her did not believe she could become a writer, that she did not have a story worth telling.

THANK YOU EMILLY, THANK YOU FOR NOT LISTENING TO YOUR YOUNGER SELF.

Simply put, this book was a deeply personal, raw, evocative, at times difficult and others lovely mix-tape of coming-of-age essays that will resonate with anyone who reads it.

I cannot recommend Funeral for Flaca enough.

[Dio Piopio · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a fellow Chicana with Michoacán roots many stories resonated with me. Beautifully told, raw and sometimes brutal. It took me back to my youth, and evoked memories that hadn’t been tapped into in years. I had a great time with this book.

[Renée RL · Rating 5 out of 5]

Culturally relatable and heartwarming. Emilly is brave and deeply honest. Couldn’t avoid reflecting myself on her stories.

[Kassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Emilly for sharing your journey through life and for taking the time to write down some situations that must’ve been hard to relive. Your story deserves to be told 🫶🏼

This was my second memoir I’ve ever read and I loved it. Emilly talks about her journey from childhood to adolescence and how she was treated simply just by as a Mexican American. Some of my favorite short stories were Say you’ll be there, so rich so pretty, keep ya head up. All of these are worth the read !!

[Asia Garcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible in every way

[Tracie Anes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very honest book about Emilly's life and experiences. She owed nothing and shared it anyways. Very well written!

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book so much. Her writing is so good, you just glide along the page with so many feelings as you go. I loved the structure of each chapter title as a song. You walk with her through her life, all of her joys, trauma, family shit, and how she copes with all of those things. I just had so many feelings while going through this, relating to a lot of those feelings and situations while seeing the experience through very different eyes. I just loved this book & it will stick with me for a long time.

[Alma Mesa · Rating 5 out of 5]

gracias!

you defined and described to a "tee" families so afraid to communicate, & Mexican families especially! we allow pride, judgement, guilt, and ignorance, but also silence and the belief that its better to eat then vomitar what you never should have said! these are the value systems nuestras familias nos ensieñan... i was born and raised in cali (2nd generation)i loved your honesty and well described style of writing. To share your life story in such a precise manner, i would say you literally captured and defined your life in a nutshell! (y que vida!) i felt as if we probably are primas by way of one of our similar but distant relatives! To read and know, what i learned as the mexicanita with similar wishes and efforts (it was the 70',80's & 90's for me! ie: chola, sporty, class presidents, punk, surfer, college bound, disco & electronic, community member, coconut, martyr, to confident professional: to belong, be accepted,be a voice, be heard and finally just be!) im now a viejita but your story tells me there still are some Mexicans just like me and mine! siempre, & still coming up! my older sister turned me on to my
love of music and dancing - your's & choya's music playlists are excellent! Music and reading makes the world intiment and familiar! Gracias mija! please continue to write, share, dance and listen...

[Selena · Rating 5 out of 5]

funeral for flaca is a collection of anecdotal essays shared by the author, emilly prado. in these essays, prado reflects on her life as a mexican-american female from adolescence to young adulthood. prado explores themes of family, identity, grief, racism, trauma, healing, and mexican culture, while not overlooking

as a mexican-american female myself- reading these essays provided a warm and comfortable nostalgia, specifically the first park of the book as prado shares memories of her childhood. i, too, did not learn english until i began kindergarten, had extra tight pony tails tied off with flea market bolitas, and sat at the dining table with a hot plate of jamon y huevo in front of me.

as the essays progress, so does time, & prado delves into her journey through her teenage years. friendships, romantic relationships, fitting in, and the power of Tupac lyrics.

these essays were personal, honest, and extremely vulnerable. i laughed and loved all of the nostalgia, felt sobs gather in my throat, and never stopped rooting for emilly.

content warning: self harm, eating disorder, abortion, depression, substance abuse, mental health struggles, sexual assault

[Jose Munoz Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw, sad, eye opening, relatable and heart breaking are the first words that come to my head after reading this book. Emilly brought back emotions from my own personal life that I archived in my head and it was like a warm embrace to know that other people feel the same as me.
Personally her Rape memory hit me so hard because I also got raped in my 20s and I felt the exact same way she did at that moment. That betrayal of your body for just freezing and not leaving. As a Latino I also related to many of her family essays. I read this book in 2 seatings because I couldn’t stop myself. It was as if i was talking to an old best friend who shared so much history as i did.
I’m so happy i read this collection of Essays. Also ridiculously funny that she wrote a “Girls” reference because im watching that show for the first time ever right now. Last i just want to say Thank You Emilly Prado for publishing these essays and making me feel understood.

[Estefannia P · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn’t love the beginning, specifically the writing style. Though after the first two chapters, the writing and the storylines felt like they meshed together better, so I really started to enjoy the flow which worked to reveal the rawness of Prado’s stories. The writer felt less clunky as we progressed later into her life, which this may have been intentional but maybe not. Still, her writing felt very honest, touching upon and describing emotions, reactions, and questions that many of us are familiar with but don’t quite have words for. The ending didn’t feel quite as strong, maybe because it extended into BLM, #MeToo, and family death which felt like a lot to be packed into the last section. I wish there had been another essay to connect her late teens with early twenties and dive into activism that may have made this transition more connected to her childhood, so I’m excited to see more of her future writing.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tender and tough, these intimate essays trace Prado's life and some of the key experiences that have shaped her — from her parents' splitting up at a young age to trying on different identities in high school to nearly losing an ex-turned-close friend. So many of these essays explore embodiment in a heartfelt and nuanced way, both a sense of discomfort and finding peace despite this. One of the things I admired most about this collection is that there is rarely a neat and simple resolution. In one essay, Prado writes about shedding the nickname of Flaca — "What is the name for a grief that creeps in after losing something, mixed with back-dated guilt from the shame of not really noticing? What is the nickname for a person who no longer embodies their name? The name for a person who has become unrecognizably them?"

[Tai Tai · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! So interesting to read about my own experiences through someone else’s writing! Being someone who also grew up in the bay, had an absent father, struggled with self harm and eating disorders, and who couldn’t find a place making the world and my family made this read so profound for me! Emily is a great writer and I loved that she chose to make this book accessible to people who come from the same background that we both come from!

[Hannah Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funeral for Flaca is touching, tender and skillful. The essays span different time periods of the author's life, and the earlier essays are imbued with a childlike voice that is impressively realistic and vulnerable. Emilly's journalism background shows in her deployment of specific details--details that anyone who was a child during the early aughts will remember with a nostalgic pang. The chapter headings are song titles and together the "playlist" helps to set the mood for each essay and the collection as a whole. This collection thrums with the pain that is being young, alive and living, but the tenderness and humor of the author's voice helps make it feel like it'll all be okay.

[Isabeau Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a tough task to tell childhood stories in an honest way. What I mean is that we often reinterpret encounters and experiences through an adult brain filter and when we do that we lose the most relatable threads from those earlier years. Emilly Prado's mixtape memoirs found and stitched that thread. I felt seen in her choice of friends, inner dialogue, her childhood interpretation of family dynamics and her complicated relationship to school. Essay by essay you'll realize that you are not alone in these experiences and perhaps by the end of the memoir you'll be less lonely in this busy world. Please go get yourself a copy, asap!

[Matt Aragon - Shafi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emilly's book of essays . . . Where do I begin? After finishing the book, I am in love. Not only does she speak to my musical soul. I will note every essay is a title of a song. How brilliant! To those of us who grew up with our heavily brown/Hispanic/Latinx fams. We see you Emilly and some of us know the love and pain you can experience growing up with these kinds of families. I appreciate how raw she is almost visceral with sharing her trauma and talking about dealing with mental illness. All I want to do is embrace this writer and see what she does next. I drank the nectar Emilly and my heart is full.

Love,

Matt

[Karina Agbisit · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I admire most about this collection are each essay's honesty and vulnerability. Nothing is sugar coated here, giving the reader raw, real insight into over two decades of life. Given pop culture's recent interest in the 90s/00s, this collection feels particularly salient as it reminds us of how we girls and women of color navigated this time period, "baby Phat jeans and straight-laced Chucks" and all. I highly recommend getting yourself a copy of Funeral for Flaca.