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The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic of a Dead Wizard and an Average Bard
George is a legendary hero... wait, no. George is an incredibly powerful sorcerer...also no? Okay, fine. George is an unremarkable human bard who made a promise a long time ago. A promise that set him on a path to find the remains of Simantiar, the greatest wizard who ever lived. Though all that was left were bones, Simantiar was still very much alive and quite...underwhelming. This is their story:
The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic of a dead wizard and an average bard.
The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic of a dead wizard and an average bard.
490 pages, Paperback
Published October 13, 2020
32 people are currently reading
418 people want to read
About the author
Kian N. Ardalan
5 books291 followersKian N. Ardalan was born in Germany, Dusseldorf to Persian parents and has since travelled between so many places that he sees himself as a person of the world; well, with one exception.
When he wasn’t playing video games or reading novels (mostly Darren Shan and Anthony Horowitz) or trying to convince his parents to watch that R-rated movie about vampires and werewolves, he delved into fantasy worlds of his own making.
It began with a novella about a young girl, not hoarded by a fierce dragon, but rather protected and raised by one.
On the other hand, The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic wonders why the hero of the story always has to be some all-powerful child of prophecy? Why can’t it just be about a clueless, young bard who is simply trying to make good on a promise with a wise-cracking skull as their companion?
Despite his teacher’s warnings, Kian decided to lean into that realm and now invites others to also explore these vibrant (and perhaps worrying) reflections of his own psyche.
Stay tuned for his upcoming book, inspired by the cryptic world of Dark Souls.
When he wasn’t playing video games or reading novels (mostly Darren Shan and Anthony Horowitz) or trying to convince his parents to watch that R-rated movie about vampires and werewolves, he delved into fantasy worlds of his own making.
It began with a novella about a young girl, not hoarded by a fierce dragon, but rather protected and raised by one.
On the other hand, The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic wonders why the hero of the story always has to be some all-powerful child of prophecy? Why can’t it just be about a clueless, young bard who is simply trying to make good on a promise with a wise-cracking skull as their companion?
Despite his teacher’s warnings, Kian decided to lean into that realm and now invites others to also explore these vibrant (and perhaps worrying) reflections of his own psyche.
Stay tuned for his upcoming book, inspired by the cryptic world of Dark Souls.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
July 2, 2022
3.5/5 rounded up to 4 stars. I think i had wrong expectations for this book. The title seemed like this was going to be a more humorous book which this is not. It has funny moments but this is epic fantasy.
I enjoyed the characters, world, soft magic, and the story. What I struggled with was the structure of using constant flashbacks for all of our main characters weaving the narrative together. I REALLY ENJOYED moments of the flashbacks but as a whole the current timeline is what I wanted more of.
Certain tropes used early in the book such as split the newly formed party for me didn’t serve the narrative. It only made me go oh look the split the party trope.
That said the dead wizard is so cool! I love his view of power and how it should be used. It’s refreshing to see the fact that absolute power DOESN’T HAVE TO CORRUPT ABSOLUTELY.
I Look forward to following this author as he continues to write. If this is his debuts he will be a powerhouse soon.
I enjoyed the characters, world, soft magic, and the story. What I struggled with was the structure of using constant flashbacks for all of our main characters weaving the narrative together. I REALLY ENJOYED moments of the flashbacks but as a whole the current timeline is what I wanted more of.
Certain tropes used early in the book such as split the newly formed party for me didn’t serve the narrative. It only made me go oh look the split the party trope.
That said the dead wizard is so cool! I love his view of power and how it should be used. It’s refreshing to see the fact that absolute power DOESN’T HAVE TO CORRUPT ABSOLUTELY.
I Look forward to following this author as he continues to write. If this is his debuts he will be a powerhouse soon.
May 5, 2022
I really enjoyed this debut by Kian N. Ardalan.
The world felt rich and lived in, the characters fleshed out and it had compelling prose!
I would love to see more stories in this world.
The world felt rich and lived in, the characters fleshed out and it had compelling prose!
I would love to see more stories in this world.
November 13, 2022
I really enjoyed this book. This is a promising debut by Kian Ardalan.
There are 5 main characters in this book’s journey. Their goal is to find a mystical treasure that is mentioned in an ancient passage. I loved the adventure and suspense of the journey. Also, the worldbuilding is rich and the characters feel real.
Kian’s prose is great, and I would love to read more from him in the future. I have seen that his next book is the Eleventh Cycle and I can’t wait to read that as well.
There are 5 main characters in this book’s journey. Their goal is to find a mystical treasure that is mentioned in an ancient passage. I loved the adventure and suspense of the journey. Also, the worldbuilding is rich and the characters feel real.
Kian’s prose is great, and I would love to read more from him in the future. I have seen that his next book is the Eleventh Cycle and I can’t wait to read that as well.
August 17, 2022
Don't believe the title! This story is everything but underwhelming!
This book does a great job at weaving a story by alternating between past and current events. It has interesting characters and balances humour and drama impeccably well.
Initially I really liked the pacing but ultimately it ended up feeling a bit too long. With that said, the ending is very satisfying, if a bit predictable. There are no loose ends and the story is wrapped up nicely.
A promising debut!
This book does a great job at weaving a story by alternating between past and current events. It has interesting characters and balances humour and drama impeccably well.
Initially I really liked the pacing but ultimately it ended up feeling a bit too long. With that said, the ending is very satisfying, if a bit predictable. There are no loose ends and the story is wrapped up nicely.
A promising debut!
October 28, 2020
The only spoiler in this review: this is far from "Fantastically Underwhelming".
This book started off in response to a short writing prompt from Reddit. I had not frequented said subreddit forum at that time, but after seeing an announcement on this book there I was intrigued, and went to read those original reddit posts.
Before I knew it, I ended up spending hours reading what turned out to be a 32-part series. And when I realised the author stopped after part 32 to spend the next 2 years finishing the story, doing quite a bit of rewriting, polishing it up and turning the whole thing into a book - I felt I just had to buy it, if only to find out what happened after part 32.
Now, this isn't the most polished of books. There are occasional grammatical errors and the like, even at the beginning chapter which may break immersion and possibly even turn some people off at the start. The writing at times clearly felt more like, well, those original reddit posts. This ultimately did not detract from the experience however, as the characters were believable, deep and lifelike, and then some.
I'd go as far to say that the author has a genuine knack for breathing life into their characters, making you understand & feel for even relatively minor, even villainous people in their story. The action scenes, fantasy aspects, and world building are excellent and absorbing in themselves, but the real meat of the story is in its explorations of the characters' motivations, their development, and the exploration of deep themes on what it means to be human.
I rarely read books these days, and even more rarely buy them - this is my first Kindle store purchase in fact. But I ended up devouring this whole book in a day, and when I was done it was almost 1am. If you like fantasy worldbuilding, excellent fights, and lifelike characters with deep, immersive character development, this might just be the book for you. As it was for me too.
This book started off in response to a short writing prompt from Reddit. I had not frequented said subreddit forum at that time, but after seeing an announcement on this book there I was intrigued, and went to read those original reddit posts.
Before I knew it, I ended up spending hours reading what turned out to be a 32-part series. And when I realised the author stopped after part 32 to spend the next 2 years finishing the story, doing quite a bit of rewriting, polishing it up and turning the whole thing into a book - I felt I just had to buy it, if only to find out what happened after part 32.
Now, this isn't the most polished of books. There are occasional grammatical errors and the like, even at the beginning chapter which may break immersion and possibly even turn some people off at the start. The writing at times clearly felt more like, well, those original reddit posts. This ultimately did not detract from the experience however, as the characters were believable, deep and lifelike, and then some.
I'd go as far to say that the author has a genuine knack for breathing life into their characters, making you understand & feel for even relatively minor, even villainous people in their story. The action scenes, fantasy aspects, and world building are excellent and absorbing in themselves, but the real meat of the story is in its explorations of the characters' motivations, their development, and the exploration of deep themes on what it means to be human.
I rarely read books these days, and even more rarely buy them - this is my first Kindle store purchase in fact. But I ended up devouring this whole book in a day, and when I was done it was almost 1am. If you like fantasy worldbuilding, excellent fights, and lifelike characters with deep, immersive character development, this might just be the book for you. As it was for me too.
January 5, 2022
Over the last 30 years I have seen dragons with Raistlin and Caramon, peaked into the shadows with Erevis and Drasek, been to the underdark with Cattie-Brie, Bruenor, Wulfgar, Regis and Drizzt and experienced magic with Elminster but it has been a long time since an adventure as fresh and engaging as this came along.
We follow George, Simantiar, Kendrith, Kristen and Logan along this breathtaking journey to find the mystical treasure that is mentioned in an old book. Along the journey we laugh, we cry, and we have our breath taken away by suspense. I really loved it! The world feels rich, the characters are relatable, and it is just fun to read.
This book started as a writing prompt on Reddit and evolved into a story that really surprised me. I want to read more from this world and hope that in the future we get more stories from it.
And yes... the book can be a bit rough sometimes on editing and grammar but to be honest I didn't care that much. It just filled my heart!
If you love adventure.... READ IT!
We follow George, Simantiar, Kendrith, Kristen and Logan along this breathtaking journey to find the mystical treasure that is mentioned in an old book. Along the journey we laugh, we cry, and we have our breath taken away by suspense. I really loved it! The world feels rich, the characters are relatable, and it is just fun to read.
This book started as a writing prompt on Reddit and evolved into a story that really surprised me. I want to read more from this world and hope that in the future we get more stories from it.
And yes... the book can be a bit rough sometimes on editing and grammar but to be honest I didn't care that much. It just filled my heart!
If you love adventure.... READ IT!
February 8, 2022
This is a promising debut. The tale takes classic fantasy tropes and gives them their own charm by allying them with the stories of each character.
The ending was very satisfying and tied up all the seemingly lose strings very nicely. Looking forward to the author's future works!
The ending was very satisfying and tied up all the seemingly lose strings very nicely. Looking forward to the author's future works!
June 25, 2022
Score: 4,5 out of 5 stars
Have you imagined what would happen if Terry Pratchett was playing a D&D campaign where he was given total creative freedom? Well, that’s exactly how I felt while reading The Fantastically Underwhelming. And saying that as a Discworld fan, is a great compliment.
Just the start, how it sets you onto the world and the story, is really brilliant. I fall totally sucked into the book and had to do an auto-control exercise to not finish it on the first day.
About the characters, I’m going back to the D&D comparisons. George is what would happen if you have mediocre stats in your sheet, but it was the luckiest when rolling the dices. Simantiar is totally hitting the nail of subverting expectations, as it doesn’t fit what would you expect from a powerful mage. The secondary characters are also rich and show different archetypes that you would see in Fantasy.
The narrative is agile and hooking. Personally, I loved the way to show the past of the characters via flashbacks, and as a way to understand how they become what they are, even with Kenrith, who is on the border between being a secondary and a main character.
In summary, I would recommend this book to anybody who loves Fantasy, humour and would like to try something different. I cannot say another thing that I really want to see what more Kian N. Ardalan is capable of.
Have you imagined what would happen if Terry Pratchett was playing a D&D campaign where he was given total creative freedom? Well, that’s exactly how I felt while reading The Fantastically Underwhelming. And saying that as a Discworld fan, is a great compliment.
Just the start, how it sets you onto the world and the story, is really brilliant. I fall totally sucked into the book and had to do an auto-control exercise to not finish it on the first day.
About the characters, I’m going back to the D&D comparisons. George is what would happen if you have mediocre stats in your sheet, but it was the luckiest when rolling the dices. Simantiar is totally hitting the nail of subverting expectations, as it doesn’t fit what would you expect from a powerful mage. The secondary characters are also rich and show different archetypes that you would see in Fantasy.
The narrative is agile and hooking. Personally, I loved the way to show the past of the characters via flashbacks, and as a way to understand how they become what they are, even with Kenrith, who is on the border between being a secondary and a main character.
In summary, I would recommend this book to anybody who loves Fantasy, humour and would like to try something different. I cannot say another thing that I really want to see what more Kian N. Ardalan is capable of.
February 11, 2021
Having followed the Reddit threads that influenced this book, and the already high reviews I wanted so badly to give this novel 5 stars. Gorgeous scenery, otherworldly magic, beings from a twisted dark creation AND a strong DND feel... should have made that an easy decision! It’s everything that I’d long for in a fantasy! Plus Kian has b-e-a-utiful writing and is able to to pull me into his landscapes and tug at my heart strings as we follow along with his “underwhelming” characters. Yet, the highly predictable plot (this may be partially due to the threads - yet even without this resource readers would be able to guess the ending halfway through) and the poor editing ruins the ambience that he placed so much work in to capture. Grammatical errors and misused words wouldn’t cause too much alarm, although a particularly main protagonist changes name after every other sentence. Is it Kristine... or is it Kristen, one will never know unless the author answers himself.
Now, while I can easily recommend The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic to anyone interested in the fantasy genre. I have to with good faith, forewarn potential readers that it feels... unpolished. A true jewel in the rough that still needs a good buffing.
Ps. I long to change this review...but until these errors are fixed 3/5
Now, while I can easily recommend The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic to anyone interested in the fantasy genre. I have to with good faith, forewarn potential readers that it feels... unpolished. A true jewel in the rough that still needs a good buffing.
Ps. I long to change this review...but until these errors are fixed 3/5
March 15, 2022
This was a wonderful book by a first time author. I am very impressed by this Kian Ardalan's ability to take a genre that has been done a million times and do something new with it. That's really saying something for any author, but for a new author it seems almost like an impossible task.
Mr. Ardalan succeeds very admirably in doing this. Epics are always quest based, but the quest for these characters is not only to find a vault, but also to find themselves. I really enjoyed that aspect of Mr. Ardalan's novel and I can't wait to see what he does next.
The characters are interesting, the story is compelling, and I'm all in for any author discussing magic school. I would highly suggest anyone give this a read.
Mr. Ardalan succeeds very admirably in doing this. Epics are always quest based, but the quest for these characters is not only to find a vault, but also to find themselves. I really enjoyed that aspect of Mr. Ardalan's novel and I can't wait to see what he does next.
The characters are interesting, the story is compelling, and I'm all in for any author discussing magic school. I would highly suggest anyone give this a read.
October 24, 2020
This is a book you really can’t put down once you start it. It picks you up and carries you along the adventure, letting you become friends with the characters as you travel with them through the trials, struggles, and fun moments they have. I haven’t enjoyed a read as much as I have with this in a very long time.
July 30, 2022
4.5
“…always it was about not being alone. Simantiar wondered if that was all that life was, the memories and connections of close loves that made the culmination of a good life lived.” So this is the essence of the story. But how do we get here?
Our main characters are so likable. There’s George, the helpless bard, and Simantiar, the snarky skull wizard; and then Kendrith, a swordsman who has lost his way, and Kristen, an ex-murderer who’s skilled with daggers, and Logan, and giant of a man who’s very skilled with an axe.
I so enjoyed the prologue which set up the story. I had some difficulty with chapters that delved into the past of the main characters because they seemed too long and cut your reading immersion of the present journey. I did enjoy them, but found they broke the momentum a little too often.
My other small complaint is the use of modern day language. I didn’t picture the times to be contemporary at all. So the use of modern language was jarring and out of place.
The otherworldly creatures were so good. And I don’t want to forget Timmy, Simantiar’s dog. He plays a pivotal role, and there might have been a tear dropped for him.
So a very good debut! I will def in read more by this author.
“…always it was about not being alone. Simantiar wondered if that was all that life was, the memories and connections of close loves that made the culmination of a good life lived.” So this is the essence of the story. But how do we get here?
Our main characters are so likable. There’s George, the helpless bard, and Simantiar, the snarky skull wizard; and then Kendrith, a swordsman who has lost his way, and Kristen, an ex-murderer who’s skilled with daggers, and Logan, and giant of a man who’s very skilled with an axe.
I so enjoyed the prologue which set up the story. I had some difficulty with chapters that delved into the past of the main characters because they seemed too long and cut your reading immersion of the present journey. I did enjoy them, but found they broke the momentum a little too often.
My other small complaint is the use of modern day language. I didn’t picture the times to be contemporary at all. So the use of modern language was jarring and out of place.
The otherworldly creatures were so good. And I don’t want to forget Timmy, Simantiar’s dog. He plays a pivotal role, and there might have been a tear dropped for him.
So a very good debut! I will def in read more by this author.
March 14, 2023
3.5 ⭐️
The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic of a Dead Wizard and an average Bard.
An engaging and exciting story. I enjoyed it. The characters are relatable, even the skull, whose comedic performance was greatly appreciated. Their goal is to find a mystical treasure that is mentioned in an ancient book. I enjoyed the adventure and suspense of the journey. There are some traditional fantasy tropes which are cleverly reused. The world-building is rich and the characters are engaging. The title gives the impression that this is filled with humour, just not the Pratchett laugh-out-loud type. It will be interesting to see how the Ardalan tackles The Eleventh Cycle. An enjoyable read.
The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic of a Dead Wizard and an average Bard.
An engaging and exciting story. I enjoyed it. The characters are relatable, even the skull, whose comedic performance was greatly appreciated. Their goal is to find a mystical treasure that is mentioned in an ancient book. I enjoyed the adventure and suspense of the journey. There are some traditional fantasy tropes which are cleverly reused. The world-building is rich and the characters are engaging. The title gives the impression that this is filled with humour, just not the Pratchett laugh-out-loud type. It will be interesting to see how the Ardalan tackles The Eleventh Cycle. An enjoyable read.
August 17, 2022
Finally time for another review, well english is not my mother tongue and everytime I think about posting one (always taking notes aplenty) - I genuine feel that people are better off with someone elses review.
Well there is no flimsy excuse to avoid this one, as Kian (the author of this book) is in fact my neighbour next door.
If he manages to write and go through editing hell of a 500 pages debut epic fantasy novel I should at least manage to write some honest lines in recognition of his work.
This will be harder than you might think, as I really dont want to compromise our good relations. And there will be criticism ... lets see if the dinner next friday is going to be cancelled?
Heed my warning: Fantasy is not really my cup of tea. I have read and enjoyed the classics from Tolkien, R.A. Salvadore, Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman and Robert Jordan as a teenager. (currently rereading Jordan) But I am really not up to date on the work of comptemptorary writers and how the new novels have evolved over the recent years. Guilty as charged!
So please take my personal opinion with a grain of salt. I am definetly not a fantasy buff.
The book was sold to me as a parody, its ironic and maybe a bit snotty title already implies that it is going to be an epic fantasy story. Well although humorous It is rather a story about overcoming personal conflicts and burdens. Character growth, as the "heroes" have are confronted with their personal fears. Its theme more serious than comical.
And hell yes, it has a talking skull and centipedes in it!
Kian manages to create realistic and loveable characters and weaves their personal stories to one of grander design.
All the characters have strong backgrounds, the author seemingly avoiding exposition - retells their history by using a lot of flashbacks. The pacing of switching between the past and present felt a bit confusing in the beginning but I got used to it after a few chapters and I started to appreciate it a lot more in the 2nd half of the book.
The party and their relationships were build with great detail and care. Each individuals actions/decisions had a realistic feel throughout the journey with their merits and flaws. I do also believe that is one of the authors great strengths when it comes to this book.
Although sometimes the overly good alignment (welcome to D&D) of the characters appeared a bit to cozy and clean as their motivation felt often forseeable to me.
Overly avoiding exposition raised my alarm bells when encountering it all of the sudden, making parts of the story more predictable.
In contrast to its careful designed individuals the world was build more lightheartedly.
There is the one scene where Kendrith returns home and is waiting to be received by his father. He has to wait outside in a grand hall decorated with paintings depicting historic events, this one of the moments which made the world grow more on me and I wished there would have been more world building. It took almost 100 pages to get to this moment and I was craving for more.
Most of the worlds locations felt written along the way and as device to make the characters more believable but not for the world and its balance per se. For example - I could never tell if this is a pre or post renaissance world.
I really would have wished to get more information on the political standing of the magic academy. Such a place of power and relevance must have had an impact on its surroundings, wouldn't it?
I know that its metaplot was never intended that way, and was used to drive the central theme of the characters. This was rather unfortunate as it left me starving until the end - never reaching adulthood and remaining in its carefree YA setting. I know, its not "A Song of Ice and Fire", but isn't intrigue the foundation of human nature?
Magic in this world is sheer crazy over the top and sometimes borderline ridiculous ;) - no limitations. The magic system is ruled by chaos as it exists primarily for the plot. I enjoyed for what it is, most of the spells are to powerful to be wielded by one person alone. But discussing this would end up in spoiler territory.
Kians prose is beautiful, flowery - never repainting the same scene in the readers minds eye theatre. That clearly distinguishes his work from other first-time authors. The carefully crafted ambience, the dramatic action and the pulsating magic are well described and enveloped in metaphors. Spellcasting and effects are painted in all possible colours and brought my imaginagtion alive.
Well, to its detriment, sometimes it became too much for me. I felt overwhelmed with sheer amount of metaphors. Furthermore, occasional misused words or analogies forced me to stop reading for a moment.
In afterthought I believe that with the right amount (less can be sometimes more) it might have lifted the drama of an event to it's perfect climax.
All criticism aside, the battles captivated me. Loved the elaborate intricacies of alchemy and the usage of potions. The amount of detail which went into depicting action. The humorous banter between our protagonists. And especially the second half of the book.
And have I mentioned, that is has a talking skull and centipedes in it?
Well written for a first book, chapeu!
As Kian has established his foundation - I am really curious to witness how a talented young author will evolve into a great author.
AFAIK his next book is almost done.
3.5 stars rounded up to 4
EDIT: fixed typos
Well there is no flimsy excuse to avoid this one, as Kian (the author of this book) is in fact my neighbour next door.
If he manages to write and go through editing hell of a 500 pages debut epic fantasy novel I should at least manage to write some honest lines in recognition of his work.
This will be harder than you might think, as I really dont want to compromise our good relations. And there will be criticism ... lets see if the dinner next friday is going to be cancelled?
Heed my warning: Fantasy is not really my cup of tea. I have read and enjoyed the classics from Tolkien, R.A. Salvadore, Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman and Robert Jordan as a teenager. (currently rereading Jordan) But I am really not up to date on the work of comptemptorary writers and how the new novels have evolved over the recent years. Guilty as charged!
So please take my personal opinion with a grain of salt. I am definetly not a fantasy buff.
The book was sold to me as a parody, its ironic and maybe a bit snotty title already implies that it is going to be an epic fantasy story. Well although humorous It is rather a story about overcoming personal conflicts and burdens. Character growth, as the "heroes" have are confronted with their personal fears. Its theme more serious than comical.
And hell yes, it has a talking skull and centipedes in it!
Kian manages to create realistic and loveable characters and weaves their personal stories to one of grander design.
All the characters have strong backgrounds, the author seemingly avoiding exposition - retells their history by using a lot of flashbacks. The pacing of switching between the past and present felt a bit confusing in the beginning but I got used to it after a few chapters and I started to appreciate it a lot more in the 2nd half of the book.
The party and their relationships were build with great detail and care. Each individuals actions/decisions had a realistic feel throughout the journey with their merits and flaws. I do also believe that is one of the authors great strengths when it comes to this book.
Although sometimes the overly good alignment (welcome to D&D) of the characters appeared a bit to cozy and clean as their motivation felt often forseeable to me.
Overly avoiding exposition raised my alarm bells when encountering it all of the sudden, making parts of the story more predictable.
In contrast to its careful designed individuals the world was build more lightheartedly.
There is the one scene where Kendrith returns home and is waiting to be received by his father. He has to wait outside in a grand hall decorated with paintings depicting historic events, this one of the moments which made the world grow more on me and I wished there would have been more world building. It took almost 100 pages to get to this moment and I was craving for more.
Most of the worlds locations felt written along the way and as device to make the characters more believable but not for the world and its balance per se. For example - I could never tell if this is a pre or post renaissance world.
I really would have wished to get more information on the political standing of the magic academy. Such a place of power and relevance must have had an impact on its surroundings, wouldn't it?
I know that its metaplot was never intended that way, and was used to drive the central theme of the characters. This was rather unfortunate as it left me starving until the end - never reaching adulthood and remaining in its carefree YA setting. I know, its not "A Song of Ice and Fire", but isn't intrigue the foundation of human nature?
Magic in this world is sheer crazy over the top and sometimes borderline ridiculous ;) - no limitations. The magic system is ruled by chaos as it exists primarily for the plot. I enjoyed for what it is, most of the spells are to powerful to be wielded by one person alone. But discussing this would end up in spoiler territory.
Kians prose is beautiful, flowery - never repainting the same scene in the readers minds eye theatre. That clearly distinguishes his work from other first-time authors. The carefully crafted ambience, the dramatic action and the pulsating magic are well described and enveloped in metaphors. Spellcasting and effects are painted in all possible colours and brought my imaginagtion alive.
Well, to its detriment, sometimes it became too much for me. I felt overwhelmed with sheer amount of metaphors. Furthermore, occasional misused words or analogies forced me to stop reading for a moment.
In afterthought I believe that with the right amount (less can be sometimes more) it might have lifted the drama of an event to it's perfect climax.
All criticism aside, the battles captivated me. Loved the elaborate intricacies of alchemy and the usage of potions. The amount of detail which went into depicting action. The humorous banter between our protagonists. And especially the second half of the book.
And have I mentioned, that is has a talking skull and centipedes in it?
Well written for a first book, chapeu!
As Kian has established his foundation - I am really curious to witness how a talented young author will evolve into a great author.
AFAIK his next book is almost done.
3.5 stars rounded up to 4
EDIT: fixed typos
January 29, 2024
As I thought about how I was going to write this review, I kept coming back to three thoughts.
1) This story is not what I was expecting
2) This is one of the most non-linear stories I've ever read
3) This was a fantastic epic with no part of it being underwhelming
As for items #1 and #3 - The title of this books gave me (and looking at other reviews I was not alone) the wrong impression this was going to be a humorous, lighthearted, and fun book. Similar to something like "The Utterly Uninteresting & Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant." But that is about as far off as you can get. This book is epic fantasy, and I would even say it's a little bit on the darker side of epic fantasy. Although it does not go far enough to be what I consider grim dark; you will see some gruesome scenes, backstabbing, and a few truly despicable characters. There will also be moments of despair and moments of true joy as our heroes attempt to complete their quest. The kind of emotional highs and lows I look for in an epic fantasy. So while there is plenty of humor in the book, this is anything but a humorous book.
As for item #2, this story has a lot of flashbacks from a lot of different characters. This is usually something I hate, but in this case I felt it worked. I would guess between 50-75% of this book were flashbacks. While this greatly enhances your connection to the characters and slowly reveals just how high the stakes are, it can also make the story hard to follow. I was fortunate to have a lot of uninterrupted time while listening to the audiobook, but could easily see getting lost if I had spent a lot of time multi-tasking or distracted. I would not be shocked at all if others felt the flashbacks kept taking them out of the story and interrupting the flow of the plot. But as I mentioned before, it worked for me. I enjoyed the flashbacks and looked forward to finding out bit by bit what was really going on. The story starts off innocently enough, but the flashbacks slowly reveal what's really going on.
Overall, I do recommend this book, especially if you're looking for a good fantasy standalone. However, make sure you go in with the mindset that this is epic fantasy, in spite of what the title and blurb may imply.
1) This story is not what I was expecting
2) This is one of the most non-linear stories I've ever read
3) This was a fantastic epic with no part of it being underwhelming
As for items #1 and #3 - The title of this books gave me (and looking at other reviews I was not alone) the wrong impression this was going to be a humorous, lighthearted, and fun book. Similar to something like "The Utterly Uninteresting & Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant." But that is about as far off as you can get. This book is epic fantasy, and I would even say it's a little bit on the darker side of epic fantasy. Although it does not go far enough to be what I consider grim dark; you will see some gruesome scenes, backstabbing, and a few truly despicable characters. There will also be moments of despair and moments of true joy as our heroes attempt to complete their quest. The kind of emotional highs and lows I look for in an epic fantasy. So while there is plenty of humor in the book, this is anything but a humorous book.
As for item #2, this story has a lot of flashbacks from a lot of different characters. This is usually something I hate, but in this case I felt it worked. I would guess between 50-75% of this book were flashbacks. While this greatly enhances your connection to the characters and slowly reveals just how high the stakes are, it can also make the story hard to follow. I was fortunate to have a lot of uninterrupted time while listening to the audiobook, but could easily see getting lost if I had spent a lot of time multi-tasking or distracted. I would not be shocked at all if others felt the flashbacks kept taking them out of the story and interrupting the flow of the plot. But as I mentioned before, it worked for me. I enjoyed the flashbacks and looked forward to finding out bit by bit what was really going on. The story starts off innocently enough, but the flashbacks slowly reveal what's really going on.
Overall, I do recommend this book, especially if you're looking for a good fantasy standalone. However, make sure you go in with the mindset that this is epic fantasy, in spite of what the title and blurb may imply.
March 10, 2023
Fantastic and not the least bit underwhelming.
Rounded up to a 4.5.
Having already read the first in Kian's Mistland series, I was wondering what his earlier work would be like. Happy to say it was thrilling. Who knew I would grow so fond of and care about a skull. The characters were very well written and had a life of their own. I love that the journey takes place over many, many years and we get to learn a lot about the characters. Once again I'm sad that a story is over and I'm hoping one day we will get more stories about this average bard and his dead companion!!
Rounded up to a 4.5.
Having already read the first in Kian's Mistland series, I was wondering what his earlier work would be like. Happy to say it was thrilling. Who knew I would grow so fond of and care about a skull. The characters were very well written and had a life of their own. I love that the journey takes place over many, many years and we get to learn a lot about the characters. Once again I'm sad that a story is over and I'm hoping one day we will get more stories about this average bard and his dead companion!!
May 13, 2022
I liked this book, but it definitely has a beginning effort feel. There were parts with a lack of foreshadowing, repeat use of phrases that felt awkward, and some issues with the skipping around. Overall the pacing was pretty good, the characters were interesting, the world building was great, and I'd like to see this author write more.
February 6, 2023
Fantastically not underwhelming
This is an outstanding piece of character work. George, Kendrick, Kristen, Logan and most of all Simantiar are all a joy to read.
Simantiar takes the crown here though. What started out to be a wise cracking skeleton turned out to be so much more and one of my favorite characters I have read.
This is easily a solid 4.5/5 and after reading this I'm sure all the praise eleventh cycle is grabbing is well deserved.
This is an outstanding piece of character work. George, Kendrick, Kristen, Logan and most of all Simantiar are all a joy to read.
Simantiar takes the crown here though. What started out to be a wise cracking skeleton turned out to be so much more and one of my favorite characters I have read.
This is easily a solid 4.5/5 and after reading this I'm sure all the praise eleventh cycle is grabbing is well deserved.
October 13, 2022
Fun read that does a great job of world building. Can tell if took inspiration from other fantasy stories (LOTR, the Witcher, etc) but I found it helped enhance the story for me.
February 6, 2023
From start to finish this book hilarious, heart wrenching and throughly enjoyable. Every characters arc is satisfying, especially Simantiar. Highly recommend
September 4, 2021
Note: My review below is of an older edition. This book has since been re-edited.
There's a decent story in this book but it is drowning in bad grammar and malapropisms. For example, one of Simantiar's contemporaries apparently studies "machinations" rather than mechanical devices... and several times emotions "toil" in someone's stomach rather than roil. At first, the errors happened about every two pages, then every two paragraphs and by the end, they were near-constant irritations. [Please Kian, find a copy editor.]
The second problem I had with the story was the overuse of flashbacks. At times I didn't know which time period we were reading about. The story would stay with the same POV character but in a different time, and then use ambiguous pronouns to keep things as confusing as possible. I suspect all the back and forth was to obscure the gaping plot-hole at the story's core.
We eventually learn that over 1000 years ago there was a big magical battle. A battle that the bad guy won. But, instead of simply killing the good guy, he chose to use a life-after-death curse so that they could face each other again in the far future. A future where one arbitrary and selfish choice by any random stranger would apparently justify the bad guy's moral stance. It made no sense. Here's a tip for arch-villains: When you've defeated your enemy, simply move on to the world domination phase... don't play with your food.
There's a decent story in this book but it is drowning in bad grammar and malapropisms. For example, one of Simantiar's contemporaries apparently studies "machinations" rather than mechanical devices... and several times emotions "toil" in someone's stomach rather than roil. At first, the errors happened about every two pages, then every two paragraphs and by the end, they were near-constant irritations. [Please Kian, find a copy editor.]
The second problem I had with the story was the overuse of flashbacks. At times I didn't know which time period we were reading about. The story would stay with the same POV character but in a different time, and then use ambiguous pronouns to keep things as confusing as possible. I suspect all the back and forth was to obscure the gaping plot-hole at the story's core.
We eventually learn that over 1000 years ago there was a big magical battle. A battle that the bad guy won. But, instead of simply killing the good guy, he chose to use a life-after-death curse so that they could face each other again in the far future. A future where one arbitrary and selfish choice by any random stranger would apparently justify the bad guy's moral stance. It made no sense. Here's a tip for arch-villains: When you've defeated your enemy, simply move on to the world domination phase... don't play with your food.
December 7, 2021
It's supposed to be a clever title, and it is...but to be clear, the book IS a bit underwhelming.
There's actually a FANTASIC book in here; and maybe even two, but they were jumbled together, and need to be separated. Never have I wanted more fervently for a book to be given over to a strong-willed editor (the notes seem to indicate my edition actually did have an editor hired by the author. but that's the problem; an editor who works for the publisher is more likely to give true and honest feedback, like "take 20% of this book and made it into a prequel.")
I'm fond of the book, and the story is good, it's just..sorely in need of that mythical editor.
There's actually a FANTASIC book in here; and maybe even two, but they were jumbled together, and need to be separated. Never have I wanted more fervently for a book to be given over to a strong-willed editor (the notes seem to indicate my edition actually did have an editor hired by the author. but that's the problem; an editor who works for the publisher is more likely to give true and honest feedback, like "take 20% of this book and made it into a prequel.")
I'm fond of the book, and the story is good, it's just..sorely in need of that mythical editor.
July 22, 2022
As fantastic and eye-catching as I think this title is, I think it sets the wrong expectations. I picked this up thinking I would get a short, humorous DND style romp of a fantasy story and while there are definitely DND vibes and there are humorous bits, this is most definitely epic quest fantasy. That being said, I thought that Ardalan used a lot of those familiar tropes and archetypes in a way that kept the story feeling both exciting and cozy.
Each character brings an interesting twist on the classic fantasy archetype and I found the characters incredibly compelling. I especially loved following Simantiar through the various timelines.
My biggest complaint is the pacing. Ardalan frequently jumps between perspective characters in both the present and the past timelines and I found it challenging to keep them straight while reading which drew me out of the narrative. He also uses the classic "the group just formed but now we must split up" which is personally something I do not enjoy. I did love the way the narrative pulled together at the end and would be interested in seeing what Ardalan writes next, whether it be in this world or not.
This book was brought to my attention through the narrator, Kevin Kemp, who did a fantastic job. While I think reading with my eyes might have made some of the perspective jumps a little less jarring, I highly recommend listening along to the story.
Each character brings an interesting twist on the classic fantasy archetype and I found the characters incredibly compelling. I especially loved following Simantiar through the various timelines.
My biggest complaint is the pacing. Ardalan frequently jumps between perspective characters in both the present and the past timelines and I found it challenging to keep them straight while reading which drew me out of the narrative. He also uses the classic "the group just formed but now we must split up" which is personally something I do not enjoy. I did love the way the narrative pulled together at the end and would be interested in seeing what Ardalan writes next, whether it be in this world or not.
This book was brought to my attention through the narrator, Kevin Kemp, who did a fantastic job. While I think reading with my eyes might have made some of the perspective jumps a little less jarring, I highly recommend listening along to the story.
April 27, 2023
I wish I could give half a star for this read, and unfortunately not in the book's favor. I opted for the full 3 because I did enjoy the story and the ideas behind them. There was a lot of potential here that felt squandered.
The main reason I feel that way is because this book was in sore need of a quality editor. So many sentences that didn't make sense or had nonsensical repetitions within themselves, a character whose name was inconsistently spelled from sentence to sentence (Kristine or Kristen??), and so many needless adjectives and adverbs. Overall, the prose was actually quite book, but this felt more like a draft copy than a finished novel.
I feel a little bad that I'm harping so much on the technical side of the book, but it so often kept me from enjoying the story by pulling me out to re read a sentence 4 times to try to make sense of it.
The positives: it's a fun adventure and coming of age story (though some of the descriptions of the main character make me feel he should be in his 20s rather than 15...). The characters feel true to themselves if a little overpowered at times. The stakes often feel real and the humor is pretty good.
Overall, it's a fun story, but a bit of a slog to actually make it through, and a little too much work to understand at times.
The main reason I feel that way is because this book was in sore need of a quality editor. So many sentences that didn't make sense or had nonsensical repetitions within themselves, a character whose name was inconsistently spelled from sentence to sentence (Kristine or Kristen??), and so many needless adjectives and adverbs. Overall, the prose was actually quite book, but this felt more like a draft copy than a finished novel.
I feel a little bad that I'm harping so much on the technical side of the book, but it so often kept me from enjoying the story by pulling me out to re read a sentence 4 times to try to make sense of it.
The positives: it's a fun adventure and coming of age story (though some of the descriptions of the main character make me feel he should be in his 20s rather than 15...). The characters feel true to themselves if a little overpowered at times. The stakes often feel real and the humor is pretty good.
Overall, it's a fun story, but a bit of a slog to actually make it through, and a little too much work to understand at times.
February 17, 2023
I really wanted to like this book but in the end it has been put into to my DNF pile.
While there are undoubtedly moments in this book which were good, overall I was bored and found it a chore to keep going. The first time I found myself enjoying the book was when we took a look into Simantiar's history, but that enjoyment did not last long.
Some of it is the fact this book needs a serious edit, and not just to remove mistakes but to help things flow more naturally. This is especially important when it comes to character dialogue but is an issue throughout the book, and fixing it would have a dramatic impact on how well the book reads.
Some of it is that characters seem inconsistent at times, and the structure weakens rather than strengths the story. Despite the fact the author has clearly put thought and effort into the characters they never really felt more than 2D to me. That said Simantiar felt more real than other characters did.
Despite my gripes and low rating I will be looking to see what this author releases in the future.
While there are undoubtedly moments in this book which were good, overall I was bored and found it a chore to keep going. The first time I found myself enjoying the book was when we took a look into Simantiar's history, but that enjoyment did not last long.
Some of it is the fact this book needs a serious edit, and not just to remove mistakes but to help things flow more naturally. This is especially important when it comes to character dialogue but is an issue throughout the book, and fixing it would have a dramatic impact on how well the book reads.
Some of it is that characters seem inconsistent at times, and the structure weakens rather than strengths the story. Despite the fact the author has clearly put thought and effort into the characters they never really felt more than 2D to me. That said Simantiar felt more real than other characters did.
Despite my gripes and low rating I will be looking to see what this author releases in the future.
November 27, 2022
I have officially DNFed "The Fantastically Underwhelming Epic of a Dead Wizard and an Average Bard." Too many ideas felt borrowed from other books, the characters were inconsistent, the story somehow managed to be equal parts too slow and too fast, and the humor was, well, not funny.
There were some positives. The author really knows how to write a cinematic scene. The action was pretty good. Though I am DNFing, for a self published work by a first time author, it showed promise. While I probably won't go back to this book, I will probably try this author's next attempt
There were some positives. The author really knows how to write a cinematic scene. The action was pretty good. Though I am DNFing, for a self published work by a first time author, it showed promise. While I probably won't go back to this book, I will probably try this author's next attempt
April 13, 2023
FYI I listened to this on Audible. Before I go any further, I must say, the narrator is absolutely incredible. He is easily one of the top five I’ve ever heard. That being said, the first half of this is a bit slow, ok very slow. I almost gave up. But once I hit the 60% mark it really picked up. The last half of the book makes up for any of the slow pacing in the first half. The ending is absolutely amazing! I cried like a baby the last 30-45 minutes. I plan on getting a print copy of this and also checking out other works by this author. 4.5 stars rounded up to 5.
July 30, 2024
An epic indeed!
An amazing tale which grips you from the start. George, our Bard, has a book in which a mythical vault can be found. He hires Kendrith, a mercenary, to help him follow his quest. George has found the skull and bones of Semantiar, a wizard, and together they fight all manner of beasts and ghouls to attain their goal.
I listened as well as read this book, and it's narrated by the inimitable Kevin Kemp. He does such a good job with different voices, you know immediately which character is talking.
If you want a book which is an Epic, this is the one for you.
An amazing tale which grips you from the start. George, our Bard, has a book in which a mythical vault can be found. He hires Kendrith, a mercenary, to help him follow his quest. George has found the skull and bones of Semantiar, a wizard, and together they fight all manner of beasts and ghouls to attain their goal.
I listened as well as read this book, and it's narrated by the inimitable Kevin Kemp. He does such a good job with different voices, you know immediately which character is talking.
If you want a book which is an Epic, this is the one for you.
February 8, 2022
This is a promising debut. The tale takes classic fantasy tropes and gives them their own charm by allying them with the stories of each character.
The ending was very satisfying and tied up all the seemingly lose strings very nicely. Looking forward to the author's future works!
The ending was very satisfying and tied up all the seemingly lose strings very nicely. Looking forward to the author's future works!
November 13, 2022
Please read my review at the following link:
https://escapistbookcompany.com/2022/...
Thank you for taking the time to read my review. As always, Happy Reading and Stay Great!!
https://escapistbookcompany.com/2022/...
Thank you for taking the time to read my review. As always, Happy Reading and Stay Great!!
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