Break Your Own Rules: How to Change the Patterns of Thinking that Block Women's Paths to Power

by Jill Flynn, Kathryn Heath, Mary Davis Holt

A 'NEW YORK TIMES' BEST SELLER ON HOW WOMEN CAN MAKE IT TO THE TOP BY ADOPTING THE NEW RULES OF LEADERSHIP.

Women hold just 11% of the most senior-level leadership positions in US corporations - a number that hasn't changed in over 30 years. How can we more women break through? 'BREAK YOUR OWN RULES' details the six faulty assumptions (or "rules") most women follow that get in the way, then delivers the correlating new rules that promise to clear a path.

For example, the old rule of "Focus on Others" must be replaced by "Take Center Stage"; "Hard Work Will Get You There" must yield to "Be Politically Savvy". "Play It Safe" must give way to "Play to Win". "Ask Permission" must be replaced by "Proceed Until Apprehended".

THIS BOOK:
•
Features the results of over 1,700 interviews with executives in Fortune 1000 companies, as well as the authors' new research and ongoing work with over 5,000 professional women
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Showcases previously-untold stories from high-profile women, including Ann Moore (CEO, Time Inc.); Susan Ivey (CEO, Reynolds American); Cathy Bessant (Global Executive for Technology and Operations for Bank of America); Lynn Ford (CEO, ING Solutions); and many more
•
Reveals what it really takes for any woman to succeed at the highest levels

This hands-on guide is for women who are ready to transform their assumptions and join the senior ranks of American business.

Foreword by Sharon Allen, former Chairman of Deloitte.


*PLEASE NOTE*:
When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.




RUNNING TIME ⇒ 5hrs. and 13mins.

©2011 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. (P)2012 Audible, Inc.

Genres: Business, Leadership, Nonfiction, Self Help, Feminism, Management, Gender

Audible Audio

First published August 2, 2011

About the author

JILL FLYNN, M.Ed. is the author of Break Your Own Rules, How to Change the Patterns of Thinking that Block Women’s Paths to Power. This business book for women, co-authored by Jill and her business partners, made the New York Times best seller list as well as best seller lists on Amazon, USA Today, and the Wall Street Journal. In June, 2014 Jill co-authored a Harvard Business Review article, Women Find Your Voice. Jill’s newest book The Influence Effect, which she co-authored with her partners, will be released in November of this year.

Jill is a founding partner of Flynn Heath Holt Leadership whose goal is to move women leaders forward, faster. She specializes in partnering with corporate clients to design and implement tailored strategies that result in higher retention and promotion rates for their women leaders. Jill is widely recognized for her coaching, training and consulting expertise and has a roster of happy clients.

Prior to co-founding FHHL, Jill was Senior Vice President at the nation's fourth largest bank, First Union (now Wells Fargo), where she established their leadership development, diversity, organizational consulting, and employee satisfaction initiatives. The corporation grew exponentially during her tenure, with more than 100 mergers. Jill and her team prepared a cadre of more than 100 high potential leaders to assume senior positions; within a three-year timeframe, the number of women in these roles increased from 9% to 26%.

For more information go to www.flynnheath.com and follow Jill @FlynnHeathHolt.

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot believe I have let this book sit on my shelf for 3 years. Simply one of the very best books on career advice for women that I have ever read. Several concepts I have experienced and learned from myself already (validation) and several others that were wonderful aha moments. Will be making my "top 10 life changers" list. Lowest cost, fastest way to devour is via audible.com...only $10 vs $22 in traditional format. Very easy to listen too, but I did find myself looking up section to highlight and makes notes in the kindle version.

[Rachel Hussey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would say great to read before a promotional period and maybe a few more years down the line. Good reminders though

[Steph Stern · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good overview of how to change assumptions and thinking in order to make your career goals happen. Not as new to me after reading "Women Don't Ask" and "Ask for It!", but there were some good tidbits about projecting power. An easy read.

[MrsDr Mind Games · Rating 5 out of 5]

This books changed my life for the better. Learning rules that I did not know and learning more rules that I need to break, made me a better woman. A better mother. A better business woman. A better daughter. A better sister. A better listener. A better learner. A better teacher. I overall felt myself transpire into a better person after learning all the valuable information included in this book. I will definitely have to re-read this book again in ten years. Coincidently, I read: "Play Like A Man, Win Like A Woman" next. Literally. I found it at Decatur Library's book sale, and I started reading it the next day.

[aj · Rating 4 out of 5]

it's not bad, the advices are good but nothing I've never heard before. However, it's quite short and to the point so if you haven't read a book like this, it would make a great choice.

The thing I liked and haven't heard before was the authors' "dream" aka goal of making fortune 500 CEOs 30% women and how hard this is. Today it's 7.4% (37/500). I like this goal and look forward to that future.

[Andrew B · Rating 3 out of 5]

So much felt liked figuring out how to emulate the male dominant corporate society. I would have enjoyed more time devoted to how to both gain power and then change the system. Still worth a read though. Almost guaranteed to be something that resonates with you

[Christen Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book for women at any point in their business career. It probably spans other environments as well but working in a male dominated manufacturing environment is my frame of reference. I read it several years ago and reflect on it often in the way I present myself.

[Karalee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding book for any woman who needs that push to get over her own mindset and rules about her boundaries. Listened to this on Audible twice & will keep it for later again!

[Mabel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read from a cultural, societal, and work perspective. There are some good reflections on how we, as females, vie the world and it's impact in our success.

[McKenna Lee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I mean entirely mid. I kept bouncing between is this sexist? No it can’t be… and wow what great advice! So truly mid and uninspiring.

[ANNE · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh my god this takes me back to professional management class that you get when you’re promoted in a corporation. Learning a little tips like sandwiching a negative between two positives, never using the word “but” because it cancels everything you said before it, and generally just manipulating every situation like a snake.

So all that being said, the chapter on how women have to be political in the workplace was spot on. Women (also) need to think and be calculating and cunning and make sure they get all of their colleagues on board, schmooze the boss, and develop a network and a system of bartering and support in the workplace. Sad but true, bitches. Good advice.

[Jodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of great information in this book.

[Hina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jill Flynn, Kathryn Heath, and Mary Davis Holt, co-authors of this book, founded their consulting firm - Flynn Heath Holt Leadership- to help women achieve executive positions in their companies. The book is laid out very well, with each chapter focusing on a single *new* principle, such as "Proceed Until Apprehended". With each new principle, they discuss the "old rules", the way that women have been conditioned to think and act. For example, the "old rule" in this case would be "Seek Approval".

Rather than just say, "do this, not that", they give specific examples of women they have coached in that very area, and how following the old rule caused her to be passed up for a promotion, or not recognized for her contributions. So if you want to show that you're a leader, you take responsibility for and have confidence in your actions; don't keep asking around for permission, just take the step that you think is right for the team.

Why I gave this book four stars instead of five: I got the sense that this book isn't really geared towards mid-level professionals like me, but more for those who are seeking to rise to the top. But I will say that I'm starting to get a bit interested in rising up, getting out of my comfort zone. Even if I don't actually go for a higher position, I want to have the skills to succeed. So my first course of action will be to join Toastmasters to improve my public speaking skills!

[Moira K · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I'll be honest, this post has been a long time coming. I finished this book about a week ago, and this is the first time I had time to actually sit and write about it. And I'm glad I waited so I could give an accurate write up because I just cannot say enough about this book! The ladies of Flynn Heath Holt Leadership did a fantastic job of explaining what holds women back in their own minds. We as women have this mindset and these rules in our own heads what we so strictly follow. While not every woman is the same, but a lot are.
Even though it's meant for those in the business field, It can really be applied to anything. The book really helped me in terms of looking at my future political career and even just in my position with groups on campus. It asks questions and explains things in such a simple way, but without tearing you down or making your previous actions seem negative. It's such a fantastic read, I would 100% recommend it to ANYONE, and I already have recommended it to so many other amazing ladies!

[Adam Puar · Rating 5 out of 5]

In "Break Your Own Rules," Kathryn Heath presents a compelling and insightful examination of the challenges women face in the pursuit of leadership and power. Heath, along with her co-authors Jill Flynn and Mary Davis Holt, offers a fresh perspective on the barriers that hinder women's progress in the workplace and provides practical strategies for breaking free from these constraints.

At the heart of the book lies the premise that women often internalize societal expectations and limiting beliefs that undermine their confidence and ambition. Drawing from extensive research and personal anecdotes, Heath explores the patterns of thinking that hold women back from achieving their full potential, from imposter syndrome and perfectionism to the fear of failure and the pressure to conform to gender norms.

[Narita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best part of the book was interview of Cathy Bessant from Bank of America and Sharon Allen from Deloitte... Both seemed so familiar that i was completely engrossed in the book..

The authors have tried to motivated women to take up the senior team lead positions by breaking the old rules and barriers that we have created around ourselves...For every old rule they have given a set of new rules, which obviously is not very easy to implement, especially in India, but still for those who dare to dream, the book can be a real trigger...

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as a part of a work bookclub -- I generally enjoyed it but it felt a little outdated and girlboss-y. I think it could have explored more societal/sociological perspectives about why women are disadvantaged in the workplace. That said, there were some good tips in this book and I'm glad I read it as a young woman in the corporate world.

[Brenda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be required for every woman, starting in high school, and returned to regularly as a refresher through out her life. The lessons are concise, insightful, and hit a resonant chord every time.

[Aviva]

My friend Angie's mother is the first author.

[Stephanie Hodson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book-came at the perfect time for challenging growth in my career!

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very empowering!

[Michelle King · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard the authors speak and hence bought their book. Interesting read with good action items!

[Jaime]

I haven't started this but I'm anxious to do so - had the opportunity to hear Mary Davis speak & it was amazing. I think the book will be equally inspiring.

[Gigi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for mid-career women. Relatable anecdotes and executable advice.