🎉This review is finalized! 🎉
*1.5 star
SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES MISSED! 🤯 📛
Not the author failing at writing in a language/culture that is not hers.
Mahurin pretends to know French 🤣? Let me tell you something. Ce livre est d’un ridicule sans nom.
Let me tell you my villain origin story, something that this book series did not even bother to have. I want to classify this series as plastic Fantasy Romance. Yes, plastic Fantasy Romance.
Serpent & Dove: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ out of 5
Blood & Honey: ⭐️⭐️ out 5
Gods & Monsters: ⭐️.5 out of 5
In 2019, I bought and loved Serpent & Dove. It was not perfect, but it was the Fantasy Romance I was anticipating and it lived up to its premise of a witch/witch hunter romance and banter. The book was super fun and I was ecstatic about the sequel conclusion to what I thought was going to be a duology.
The year after, the series was announced as a trilogy and I got the chance to read Blood & Honey right when it came out. Let me tell you that I rarely buy YA Fantasy sequels when they come out. I usually wait for reviews. Again, I did an exception because I was so ready to love it. Sadly, the book dragged for way too long, Lou was so slut-shamy to other people and nothing super relevant happened until the last 140 pages of a 528-page novel.
Plus, Shelby Mahurin really misused French vocabulary with dozens of syntax and grammatical errors. Mrs. Mahurin, if you cannot do French, don't do it. That’s fine. As a francophone, it really ruined my reading experience. It is astonishing to me that the big publishing business that is Harper Collins did not even bother hiring readers whose first language is French to correct mistakes that EASILY could have been fixed. Especially when you can get in touch with them with simple finger moves on their keyboards. Come on, Digital Age.
Next came Gods & Monsters, which I still highly anticipated! I feel fooled for that… I thought that after the disappointment that the second book was, the third and final book could not be any less good. On the contrary, this book proved me wrong. The start is not bad at all. The plot is not the most inventive, but it is readable and I am glad to meet the characters again. But, past the 150-ish pages, literally nothing relevant happened until page 450. The in-between part was a such slog to get through! I felt like even the author did not know what to write next, so Mahurin wandered us around for hundreds of pages of characters TALKING and TALKING instead of getting their acts together to defeat Morgane. The villain had no purpose and no backstory is given to deepen her character! She is just plain evil and this is it! May I mention that this book is 612 pages, and not any info about the villain is provided?! The side characters are so undeveloped and so not different from each other. Plus, you barely got time to know them. Thus, when a random person randomly shows up, I was like "Who’s this?!". The side characters are so insignificant and only serves to make situations convenient for the main characters out of the blue…
THE FRENCH GRAMMAR & SYNTAX MISTAKES
Here, I am going to play the French teacher and correct every single one of them. There are so many that I spotted while reading that it hurts my eyes! Feel free to skip to the next paragraphs if you are not interested. Shelby Mahurin writes French like she writes English, which is wrong because both languages are so different in so many ways, so are the sentence structure and grammar.
1. "Cathédral" (on the map/p.1) ❌ → My Correction= Cathédrale ✔︎
2. "Beau inclined his head in Célie's direction. [...] 'My apologies, '
madame
' (p.71) ❌
→ My Correction= '
mademoiselle
' ✔︎
*Okay, here there is a problem. throughout the rest of the book, the author uses the word "mademoiselle" a lot. It seems super inconsistent to me that she did not changed madame for mademoiselle when the characters talks to Célie. Mademoiselle is used to address to unmarried young women while madame is for older women (even if unmarried) and married women. Célie is unmarried, so it must be mademoiselle instead of madame.
3. "Good luck, frère. Be careful" (p.128) ❌
→ My Correction= mon frère ✔︎
*This is the mistake I notice the most: the absence of the possessive article while talking to someone. In English, you may address someone by calling them "brother". However, in French you have to say the equivalent of "my brother", which is «mon frère». Same goes for any form or relations you have with the person (cousin, friend, lover, siblings, aunt, uncle, etc.) you are speaking to. The only way that you are not required to use the possessive article is to designate your OWN parents.
4. Same rule broken as #3
You can find the same mistake on page 232, 248, 250, 252, 253, 254, 255, 261, 263, 430, 488, 492, and 604.
Coco speaking to her aunt: "Morgane is responsible,
tante
" (p. 235). ❌
→ My Correction= ma tante ✔︎
Other examples:
"
Soeur
"(p.252) ❌
→ My Correction= Ma soeur ✔︎
"Fille" (p.252) ❌
→ My Correction= Ma fille ✔︎
5. "Mathieu le Claire" (p.193) ❌
→ My Correction= Clair ✔︎
*«Le» is a masculine article, so the noun must be so accordingly. Therefore, considering that the «e» is added only when it is feminine, it must be removed.
6. The Overuse and Inconsistent Use of Italics
Mahurin abuses italics so much. She tries to make them her aesthetic or something. They are present in every page, which is not normal! Most of the time she writes French words in italics, but sometimes ,she doesn't and it is super weird.
E.G. "Will I become a wraith too, maman?" (p.199)
Also, the next one is not really an error, but an eye-rolling writing choice. Let me explain: some words in French and English are practically the same, like princess. Shelby Mahurin only adds French to appear stylish and elegant in her writing, (which is quite useless when does not apply grammar rules properly) . For "princess", there is no need to switch back to French because the word is the same, just with an "e" in the end. It screams "Oh look! I know some French word and grammar from Google Traduction" 🙄.
Proof: "The dress of a true princesse" (p.295).
There would be no difference if she choose English for "princesse".
7.
"Bonjour, mes demoiselles" (p.296) ❌
→ My Correction= mesdemoiselles ✔︎
8. A Verb Not Correctly Conjugated
"
Je vous voir
, Louise" (p.300) ❌
→ My Correction=
Je vous vois
✔︎
* You cannot say that in French, whether dialect your are speaking, it does not work. «Voir» (to see) is the infinite form. For each pronoun, the conjugated form is different that the infinitive. In the third verb group, the singular first person's must end with an "s". The "r" for <> must be switched for an "s".
9. Wrong article employed
"Do you understand now, mon pouffiasse? (p.310) ❌
→ My Correction= ma pouffiasse ✔︎
*To be honest, the word «pouffiasse» was not even the good word to use for this context. It is like a less vulgar variation of the word "slut". It is more a word used by people gossiping about someone, not during an interaction with the person in question.
THE PLOT?
On the whole, the pain is to defeat Morgane, right? And establish some peace between the two parties: the Church and the witches. Well there was literally no attempt at eliminating Morgane. This huge band of character just run away from a place to another instead of scheming and using their so called intelligence. They just let everything fall on their should, and their mouths just open like an O when an enemy shows up while they are fucking playing "Truth of Dare" or chilling in fancy mermaid gowns... Shaking my head. Seriously, Beau is a fucking prince. He did not even move his ass to his advantage to gather allies. He was just a clown without any purpose! I would have LOVED to read Coco's point of view though because she had the potential to do so many cool stuff, but she was so wasted. The magic has no limits and no rules exists. Even the witches do not even know, which is odd because their use and knowledge of magic makes them witches. How, them, witches, do not even know their own magical rules?! I know they are 2 groups of witches, but still? Shouldn't they know the magic rules of their respective rival camp? 🤡
In this excerpt, Lou and Coco are discussing magic.
" 'How did you do that?' Coco asked suspiciously.
'I melted the snow.'
'I thought nature demanded sacrifice?' 'How is melting snow a sacrifice?
'I am the snow.' " (p.452-453)
WHAT. AN. EXPLANATION. WOW.
THE CLIMAX
The only interesting part of the book was when the characters were imprisoned and brought at the stake. AT PAGE 490. It was very well done. It actually saved the book a little, but it is not reasonable to wait 300+ pages to get to a relevant plot point. I am done with books like this. It is filler and should not take as much space. This is poor writing. Although I really disliked the turn this series has took, I liked that the author did not reduce Célie to a basic bitch ex-girlfriend like it is the case for many books. Her participation in the final part was good.
THE ENDING
Shelby Mahurin engaged in writing a Fantasy Romance. There is a fantastical conflict taken place in Césarine: Church versus witches. The romance part of the story was indeed wrapped up: our characters get their happily ever after. But what about the stakes faced in Serpent & Dove? All historical conflicts were left out in the background. In what ways defeating Morgane will bring a better political climate? What is the Church's views of witches now and then? Is there a concession between both parties? Are other magical creatures facing the same prejudices as the witches? Are Chasseurs still going to witch-hunt? Was this conflict ever meant to be resolved to some degree? Are we ever going to know?
The Fantasy part of the book was very superficial and glossed over! Only the main romance was resolved. It felt very pointless to have brought magic into the story. If you engage in writing Fantasy Romance, both romantic and fantastical plot should be given proper page time to wrap up in a way that makes justice to readers.