This One Wild Life: A Mother-Daughter Wilderness Memoir

by Angie Abdou

From the author of Canada Reads finalist The Bone Cage.

Includes research on the shy child, parent-child bonding, social media issues, and the benefits of outdoor activity and nature immersion.

Disillusioned with overly competitive organized sports and concerned about her lively daughter's growing shyness, author Angie Abdou sets herself a challenge: to hike a peak a week over the summer holidays with Katie. They will bond in nature and discover the glories of outdoor activity. What could go wrong? Well, among other things, it turns out that Angie loves hiking but Katie doesn't.

Hilarious, poignant, and deeply felt, This One Wild Life explores parenting and marriage in a summer of unexpected outcomes and growth for both mother and daughter.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Canada, Parenting, Nature, Audiobook, Book Club

248 pages, Paperback

Published April 13, 2021

About the author

Angie Abdou was born and raised in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. She received an Honours B.A. in English from the University of Regina, an M.A. from the University of Western Ontario, and a Ph.D. from the University of Calgary. She is an Associate Professor of Creative Writing at Athabasca University. She makes her home in the Canadian Rockies along the BC/Alberta border with her two children. She has published eight books: a short story collection, four novels, a collection of essays, and two memoirs. Her first novel, The Bone Cage, was a finalist for Canada Reads 2011. The Canterbury Trail was a finalist for Banff Mountain Book of the Year and won a 2012 IPPY, Gold Medal for Canada West. In Case I Go was a finalist for a Banff Mountain Book Award in the fiction and poetry category and Chatelaine magazine called it one of the most rivetting mysteries of 2017. Her memoir, Home Ice, recieved a starred review in Booklist, which called it "a first-rate memoir and a fine example of narrative nonfiction [and] also a must-read for parents with youngsters who play organized sports."

Reviews

[Heather Adores Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

3⭐
Genre ~ memoir
Setting ~ Canada (I think)
Publication date ~ April 13, 2021
Est Page Count ~ 241 (10 chapters)
Audio length ~ 7 hours 54 minutes
Narrator ~ Jenny Young
POV ~ single 1st
Featuring ~ long titled chapters

As some of you may know I'm in my last few months with my only daughter before she's off to college, so I saw this book as a Hoopla bonus borrow and the title grabbed me, so I grabbed it...well the mother daughter part, not the wilderness part.

I don't really read too many memoirs, especially from people that I've never heard of. I did find it to be well written and I enjoyed the bonding time they shared.

Here are some interesting facts on Mother/Daughter relationships I learned based on Angie's research:
They affect future relationships more than any other.

Poor M/D relationships can lead to poor social skills and unhealthy attitude towards eating.

A mothers input shapes a daughters self perception, social confidence and mental health.

They are most important for determining how girls learn to process emotion.

Here are some interesting facts on Father/Daughter relationships I learned based on Angie's research:
If they are good, the daughter performs better academically than those with poor relationships.

If good, they secure higher career satisfaction and have emotionally intimate and fulfilling relationships with their partners.

They are more important than M/D relationships to determine happiness and success, and to avoid being talked into sex.

Children learn what they live. Father's being nice to Mother's set an example of what they should have.

Narration notes:
I don't have any complaints about her performance.

Connect with me ➡ Blog ~ Facebook ~ Twitter

[Angie Abdou · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved writing this book - at every single stage ... researching, thinking, writing, revising, even line editing. It's my favourite project ever. I hope my enjoyment of the process translates into reader enjoyment. We'll see. I'm grateful to ECW Press for giving me a space to explore this idea and devote time to thinking about daughters and wilderness and walking.

[Elinor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mother-daughter bonding was just one of the several themes that wove its way through this book, each one fascinating in its own right. As the mother of three grown daughters, I enjoyed the parenting advice and wish I had learned it sooner. As a resident of the East Kootenays where the author also lives, I identified with her respect for the healing power of nature. I chuckled aloud at some of the funny stories she told on herself. I was horrified by the life-threatening situations that she sometimes found herself in. Mostly, I felt deep sympathy for her negative experiences on social media, when she was vilified unfairly to the point where she sank into a depression.
It would be hard to come up with a subtitle that encompasses all of these threads, but A Mother-Daughter Wilderness Memoir just does not do the book justice. This memoir, so honest and so revealing, made me wish we could be friends.

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This One Wild Life by Angie Abdou is about a mother-daughter hiking adventure, a ‘wilderness memoir’. Really?? This is a book about relationships: with family, husband, community, sport, humour, nature, writing, and ultimately, with self. Angie Abdou’s immense talent as a writer is evident in how she weaves ALL THIS into a hiking memoir, with her shy & sweet daughter, Katie. This was so much more than I thought it would be. Researched and executed with precision, and then driven straight into your emotional jugular. I could not put this book down, nor did I want it to end.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book to read right now while we're all still in lockdown in Ontario. A great memoir about motherhood, writing life, finding connection in nature, the dangers of social media addiction and trying to live a more mindful, environmentally conscious life. The author writes about her marital struggles, parenting challenges, mental health and so much more. Highly recommend this vulnerable, relatable memoir by Canadian Angie Abdou! I'm a huge fan of her open and honest writing style and loved Bone cage, a Canada Reads finalist. It's really sad how she's been a victim of the cancel culture and shamed on social media and she writes about how this affected her mental health - it's so easy to criticize people without thinking how that can impact their whole lives.

Favorite quotes:
"I'm reminded of another reason why I love hiking: the simplicity of a goal achieved by one determined step after another. On top of a mountain I know I have accomplished exactly what I set out to accomplish."

"We can't in the 21st century eschew the online world, can't pretend it doesn't exist or that it's not real but we can keep it in perspective, remind ourselves of its proper place. I think a lot about setting that example for my kids, who have never known a world that doesn't include the e-world."

"...I needed the trails. My mental health and happiness depended on the woods and my family's well-being depended on my mental health and happiness."

"Scientific studies have proven that hiking is good for the brain. Simply walking in wilderness decreases negative thoughts."

"With today's constant noise of social media we must work harder than ever to find silence. Too often we shift our focus from the pleasure of doing something to the pleasure of telling everyone we did it."

[Yolanda Ridge · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book’s dedication reads, “For readers. When I ask myself what distinguishes memoir from other forms of narrative, I always come back to intimacy. I hope you will read this book as a long, intimate letter from a good friend. Thank you for spending time with my book.”

I am thankful to the author for her honesty, authenticity and bravery. I did feel like I was reading a letter from a friend and a lot of what she had to say made me feel less alone. I love the way she ties scenes from her life together and intermixes them with academic and philosophical writings on everything from being shy to nature as a God. A lovely read from a great writer.

[Naomi]

**spoiler alert** Disclosure: I received a free advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I went into this book expecting to love it. It explores many themes and topics I'm interested in including motherhood, hiking, and social media. However, it fell flat for me. It relied heavily on recounting conversations the author has with family members and I just didn't find these conversations very interesting. Perhaps the most engaging section of the book for me was when (spoiler) Abdou gets stuck up on a mountain with fellow author Jowita Bydlowska (whose excellent memoir Drunk Mum I subsequently read and loved).

I also felt some lingering uncertainty about the author. What I didn't know going into the book is that the author was previously involved in a controversy around her book In Case I Go, which featured an indigenous character from the Ktunaxa Nation. I haven't read the book but I'm willing to believe she made every effort to write the character in a culturally sensitive way, as she did consult with members of the Ktunaxa Nation. However, she wrote an article about this process for Quill & Quire that I think does portray indigenous people in a negative light--for example, she worries that the Ktunaxa people will be angry and hostile if she asks to meet with them--and she also claimed to have permission from the Ktunaxa Nation to write this character, which she did not. She later apologised for making this claim. However, she talks about this episode in This One Wild Life and I found the way she tried to justify herself by mentioning that one of her friends is from the Ktunaxa Nation a little, well, icky. It just left me in a place where I didn't fully trust the writer and I couldn't invest in the book.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not exactly what I expected. It does include memories of hiking a peak a week with her daughter (as I heard it was about). However, it also includes a lot of content on research related to the role of nature in our overall health, how we manage social media, and lots of parenting tips, in addition to the authors memoir content.

[Tatiana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not a hiker, a mother, or a reader of memories. You don't need to be any of these to appreciate Abdou's writing, humour, and bravery in letting us into This One Wild Life.

[Trina · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 I listened to the audiobook and while I liked the topic (hiking, local mountains, mothers and daughters, family), it fell flat for me.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Angie Abdou has written another family memoir, this one centred on her relationship with her daughter, Katie, or her choice of Kat by the end of the book. The earlier "Home Ice" was centred more on her son Ollie, or Oliver betimes. It should be noted that Katie asked when there would be a book about her, and Angie mentions Marni Jackson, who wrote about her son until he grew up and asked her not to anymore.
The main theme seems to be how much and how far should you press your daughter (in this book) to do things that you think would be beneficial, in this case mountain hiking each week, and when do you stop and realize you are going too far. She has read a large amount of child psychology in both rearing her kids and applying it to her writing.
There are meditations on the relationship of god and nature, and the curative effects of having a cottonwood tree outside your window.
There is a balance of serious and funny parts to this work. She goes into her reactions to the typhoon of social media hate she received for "In Case I Go", uninformed, unwarranted, and frankly sick from what I saw. It reminds of the sort of academic/literary fratricide one sees with some writers in Canada. It's a wonder anyone publishes in this country anymore. Angie also discusses the strains that nearly ended her and Marty's marriage over a couple of years. She also talks about the end of her first marriage, which is when I was her neighbour in London.
On the other hand she is humourous in the stories of her erratic driving, forgetting her license while doing so in the US, and her epically-poor navigational skills, which have her at one point hiking up the wrong mountain with her friend, Jowita, leaving them both hanging for dear life from its side, then calling a rescue copter to the mountain she thought they were on.
Angie holds nothing back in this memoir, and that must feel very naked to the world.
I hope that, now that the family has been explored in two books, Angie can overcome her navigational shortcomings (and the burns from prior fiction) and find her way back to her always great fiction writing.

[Brenda Stice · Rating 4 out of 5]

First, I understand that there is some controversy surrounding the author's prior writings and failure to consult and/or write a book about an indigenous character when she is not indigenous. This is obviously problematic, and I do not condone that behavior. whether intentional or not The publishing industry and society as a whole needs to figure out how to promote own voices better. I hope the author has learned from this and will move on to be an advocate for own voices in the publishing industry. This book, is a beautiful memoir about motherhood, shy versus introverted children, parental bonds, hiking, addiction (including social media addiction and parallels to other addictions), the healing power of nature, and how to live your life to the fullest while setting an example for your children. No issue was left untouched in this book. The author unabashedly tells of her struggles with parenting and the tension between how she was raised, and how the world is changing or has already changed so drastically that she feels caught in the middle. She also addresses the "cancel culture" that has resulted from her aforementioned obliviousness and I appreciate that she is taking steps to do that. I cannot say that the work is fully done here, but she is making progress. Another topic that was raised is her struggles within her own marriage, a topic that I find many stray away from especially in the age of social media. I think that this is incredibly raw. Any hiker will relate to that aspect of the book as well. While some of the references to other books seems forced, I did like the amount of additional information that the reader was pointed to in order to do the work for themselves. The author even included additional resources at the end of the book. The book is obviously well-researched. Ultimately, I think the author needed to write this book for herself, but in the process created something that is relevant, relatable, and useful to a lot of people.

[Patricia L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was more than the memoir I thought it would be.
The author wove her many layered stories with such honest bravery and craft I felt I knew the situation.
I was there - in her body and mind and heart. And so was the landscape and so was her marriage, her two children, her friends and the community.

Now I want to read the author's other books.

[Kathy Stinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mother-daughter relationship, walking in nature, technology and social media—I expected to like this more than I did. Not warming to mother or daughter didn’t help and I kept expecting the author’s insights based on her experiences to be more profound. She did a lot of research and the chapter in which she and a friend get lost on a mountain was riveting.

[Lia Preyde · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book, but all of its themes also hit on topics that I am specifically and deeply interested in right now - mother daughter relationships, connection to nature, social media addiction, etc. I loved the writing, and how it was part memoir, part narrative, part research essay.

[Ophelia Bourdages · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn’t actually read this book… I hated it haha

[Tracey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book about the healing power of nature, getting to know oneself, family, and many other topics. I expected a nice mother-daughter story. I got that but also much more.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book touched on a lot of topics including public shaming, tourism, shyness and mother-daughter relationships, all centred around a summer of hiking. An interesting and reflective read

[Bonnie Zink · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do yourself a dfavour and read this memoir!

[Elainedav · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was the title of this book which first grabbed me - I thought it was about the outdoors and from a brief glance at the synopsis, I thought it was a hiking book. It was both of those things, but it is also a book about parenting and psychology. I didn't expect that, but that is my fault for not reading the synopsis properly.

The writing style is a little bit academic. I didn't know anything about this author, but she is an academic, so it's not surprising that this comes across in her writing. I don't view this as a problem - I like a list of references and a mix of other books as well as journal articles.

I particularly liked the accounts of the different hikes undertaken - the week long camping trip to complete the Juan de Fuca trail on Vancouver Island and all of the different mountain hikes. Some maps or photographs would help give a sense of place in the physical book version (I read the e-book), especially for those of us readers who are not familiar with the Canadian Rockies.

Personally, I would have liked more of the hiking and less of the parenting/psychology. However, there is one piece of advice which has stuck in my mind which I think is very sound. It is to do with switching off whilst on holiday and detaching from social media. This is a quote:
"I don't pick up my phone once all weekend, don't share the details of our days on social media. I decide instead, to save the best of my family and my life for ourselves. I focus on living our lives rather than narrating them." I like that!

Thank you to NetGalley for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Enid Wray · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a little bit to warm up to this book, but once I did I thoroughly enjoyed it. I can appreciate why she felt that she needed to provide something of an ‘academic’ framework to the book right out of the gate, but the writing - the storytelling! - really got bogged down in it for the first three chapters. It was just too ‘aloof’ for a deeply personal memoir.

But… by the fourth chapter (p53) - when they hike the Juan de Fuca trail together as a family - the book really starts to find it’s groove. While still peppered with plentiful references to academic research and other philosophical and scientific writings - to provide credence and context to her personal musings - I finally find myself really getting to know the ‘characters’ and to connecting with them.

It is a testament to her skill as a writer that she so deftly weaves together what, in some other hands, would be just so many disparate threads. Abdou turns her musings about life, marriage, family, community, nature, and the digital age we live into a cohesive and compelling ‘story.’ There are a lot of ‘truisms’ in what she has to say, and it was nice to be reminded of some of them, and to have what I believe to be fundamentally true, and my experiences and struggles, validated.

As an almost 60 year old female who has successfully launched her own child, I related to much of her experience. We read everything we could get our hands on at the time when we were trying to figure out what to do, what our son needed, but mostly we fumbled around in the dark operating on gut instinct - usually correctly, thankfully. I wish I could have been reading this when I was going through some of what we went through with our son… to know that someone else was going through what we were going through, experiencing the same angst. I would be interested to know whether or not someone who is just beginning their parenting journey - or someone with children of similar age to Kat and Oliver - would find the same ‘support’ or ‘relief’ in reading this… or is it only with hindsight - 20/20 vision after the fact - that it really resonates?

4.5

[Laurabara · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I have the great fortune to experience the grandness of it all, but only for a moment. I am very small.”

If you love nature—the trees, the mountains, the earth—you need to read this book. If you struggle with social media—distractions, time-sucking, taking you away from what’s true—you need to read this book.

This One Wild Life is the newest memoir by Angie Abdou. It is a beautiful examination of the relationships we have with our children, about letting them walk their own path, and accepting that it might not be the same as ours. It’s about stepping away from the phone and into nature. So then too, it’s also about the relationship we have with ourselves.

While it’s only a minor part of the book, I appreciate how Abdou writes about alcohol. We need to talk about it more outside of the label of alcoholic, and she does this. I have found that even if I don’t “have a problem”, a glass of red wine will make my sleep suffer, and I wake up at 4 am with a full-on anxiety attack. At the times in my life when things are hard, alcohol will never make it better, and Abdou writes about this.

I am writing a memoir and this book made me question if it is worth it. “Why would any sane person expose herself and her people in the way required by memoir? It’s not worth it. Who needs the drama or the judgement? Why do we do it?” Abdou asks. Her answer, my answer is: “…she’s a writer, compelled by definition to turn the mess of life into a well-shaped paragraphs, publishable pages. Yes, she might write a memoir again if she can’t help it.”

[Krista Calfat · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is so much to unpack in this book, as its not about hiking and getting stuck on the mountain, but more about learning to reconnect in a physical world when we are so often pulled into a virtual one. It is more of a reflection of our internal monologue as we experience things around us.

This is not a quick read and can seem a bit daunting with all of the scholarly citations and references. I did enjoy this book as it gave me insight into others' relationships with social media - for the good and bad, friendships, marriage, and being a mom.

This book inspired me to put my phone down and be present in real life and not my social media one -for that I'm grateful.

[Shelby · Rating 2 out of 5]

Likes:
- Easy to listen to and something that I was not worried about missing bits and pieces of while I am working
- Some scenes got me very invested (i.e. the scene at the scree-covered cliff)
- Nice to read a story set not too far from where I live, where people get out and enjoy the outdoors.

Dislikes:
- Not sure if it was the narrator of the audiobook or just the voice of the author but I had a hard time connecting with her.
- Realized that this is about being a parent/your kids coming into their confidence later than I would have liked, this isn't really a topic that I can relate to
- Felt like some areas jumped around quite a bit, but it could also be because I was listening to it while working.

[Deanna Beaton · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had to stop in chapter 3. Just overall NOT a book well represented in the blurb, & not at all what I'm interested in reading.

It's clear to me that this author lacks a self-awareness that makes this book somewhat cringe worthy. It seems the entire third chapter is about (not particularly well received) criticism over the author's previous book and dealing (or not dealing? It was unclear) with the online blowback.

[Sarah Perry · Rating 3 out of 5]

In order to connect more with her shy and guarded daughter Katie, Angie Abdou plans for a summer full of hiking adventures, a peak a week, just the two of them. Only, things don't quite go as planned...

I stumbled across this book in a search for memoirs being released in 2021. I love knowing more about the human experience from different perspectives. The premise for this book stuck out to me because I have a daughter who sounded quite similar to Katie, and we love hiking together.

There were parts of this book that I liked, and a few that I didn't.

I loved the nostalgic feelings as Angie talks about Katie in her younger years, the candid stories shared, and the descriptions of the mountains. I loved that she openly shared about her own mental health struggles and issues with social media. And, I liked that she really seemed to care about learning how to communicate better with both Katie, and people in general. I could really relate to the challenges of motherhood in this book.

I wasn't a huge fan of the more academic writing style of this book. There was a lot of information provided, and I could tell it was very well-thought out. I just wanted a bit more of an emotional take on the experience I think. I could have done without the author going so much in depth with her marriage. It just seemed a little misplaced. I also felt it took far too long to get to the mother daughter hiking that I was left wanting more of.

All of that being said, I admired the growth of both mother and daughter by the end of the book. Although the adventures inside these pages weren't exactly what I was hoping to read about, they were still valuable and at times entertaining.

Thank you to ECW Press for providing me an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review.

[❀ Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This One Wild Life detailed the author's goals of spending more time with her daughter by climbing a "peak a week", as well as some of the challenges she has faced as an author and a parent worrying about what other people think. She had experienced backlash about her novels and had to come to terms with the fact that "people do not get to have opinions about books they have not read. I will not defend a book to people who can't be bothered to open it" in a world where there is so much judgement about everything we do.

She shared some research about the importance of getting outside including the "therapeutic effects of nature with the main premise that campers have to get out in the wild fort least 3 days to feel the full restorative effects" and how in Japan there are official forest therapy trails!

She took a break from social media and enjoyed nature... sometimes at her own peril (being rescued by search and rescue after getting off the trail) and learning how to prepare ahead. she shares these experiences despite much social media backlash which can help others.

in the end, she enjoyed time outdoors with her family including some multi-day hikes and came to reconsider how to spend time together instead of filling up days with commitments.

I enjoyed the honesty of her challenges and the excitement of sharing nature with her kids. I was reading this while camping and hiking in the Sleeping Giant provincial park in Thunder Bay so it was perfect timing!

[Pamela Couch · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't normally take the time to leave a book review but this book gave me hours of enjoyment so I thought the least I could do is take a few moments to leave a review. As a mom who also lives in B.C. and loves the great outdoors, I was naturally drawn to this book. It's a book about hiking with her daughter but it's also not. If you aren't a big hiker that doesn't mean you won't love this book. I really enjoyed how this book took a linear path but with a ton of side stories and a lot of really interesting quotes. I don't want to spoil it for anyone but there is a chapter that had me on the edge of my seat. I couldn't put the book down, of course, it was midnight at the time! I often find that I really enjoy a book until I get to the end. I thought the final chapter in this book provided the perfect ending but I am still wondering about the cast, did you have to get a new one? After reading this book I am looking forward to reading Home Ice. If it is anything like this book it won't matter that I hate hockey (I know, I am a bad Canadian).

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for the season of life I am in with a 7 (almost 8) year old daughter. I feel inspired and appropriately challenged to continue the work on my own healing and commitment to remain diligent in creating a space where my daughter will feel inspired and free to grow into the person she is mean to be. The book inspires both grit and grace in the parenting journey. It spoke to me as a human beyond my role as mother, but also directly into that role and important space in my life. A topic that is discussed a lot is our relationships to technology and specifically social media and the importance of modeling bravery and boundaries with those aspects of our life. The author speaks on this, not from a pedestal, but bravely from areas where she has struggled. I enjoyed the relaxed style of writing. I wouldn't say there is anything ground breaking in the book, it really is a memoir style book with discussion on current research on the importance of outdoors, movement, parenting, and social media mixed in.

[Kristene Perron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes you read the perfect book at the perfect time in your life, this was one of those books. It's difficult to discuss how I felt about it without digging into parts of myself I would prefer to remain private but I can say that I forged a connection with Abdou on every page. (Many of those pages are dog-eared so I can return to the best bits of insight when I need them).

This is about a mother and daughter, certainly, but in a larger sense it's about finding our place in a world that grows more complicated and demanding every day. About finding ourselves, freeing that self from unhealthy expectations--others' and our own--and learning how to connect meaningfully with the people that matter to us.

I have a small stack of books I call "Treasure For Life". This One Wild Life will now join that small stack and I hope Abdou enjoys her time in the company of JRR Tolkien, Carl Sagan, and Jane Austen, to name just a few.