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The Kindness of Children

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Visiting a London nursery school, Vivian Paley observes the schoolchildren's reception of another visitor, a handicapped boy named Teddy, who is strapped into a wheelchair, wearing a helmet, and barely able to speak. A predicament arises, and the children's response--simple and immediate--offers Paley the purest evidence of kindness she has ever seen. In subsequent encounters, "the Teddy story" draws forth other tales of impulsive goodness from Paley's listeners. Just so, it resonates through this book as one story leads to another--taking surprising turns, intersecting with the narrative unfolding before us, and illuminating the moral meanings that children may be learning to create among themselves. Paley's journey takes us into the different worlds of urban London, Chicago, Oakland, and New York City, and to a close-knit small town in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Her own story connects those of children from nursery school to high school, and circles back to her elderly mother, whose experiences as a frightened immigrant girl, helped through a strange school and a new language by another child, reappear in the story of a young Mexican American girl. Thus the book quietly brings together the moral life of the very young and the very old. With her characteristic unpretentious charm, Paley lets her listeners and storytellers take us down unexpected paths, where the meeting of story and real life make us Are children wiser about the nature of kindness than we think they are?

144 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1999

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About the author

Vivian Gussin Paley

21 books63 followers
Vivian Gussin Paley was an American pre-school and kindergarten teacher, early childhood education researcher, and author.

She taught and did most of her research at the University of Chicago Laboratory Schools and was the recipient of a MacArthur Fellowship. Despite her status in the field today, she has described the first thirteen years of her teaching career as being an "uninspired and uninspiring teacher."

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5 stars
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28 (22%)
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
Profile Image for Claudia.
2,666 reviews115 followers
October 9, 2008
I had read this before. Paley's thesis is to let children play. She links storytelling with creative dramatics to the humanizing of children. I struggled to see how I can connect this to my students, since we don't have time in the curriculum to write creative stories, and then enlist the class to act them out. One line made me sad: "Were we kinder in kindergarten?" Maybe.

I would love to translate this, and the creation of genuine empathy, to high school!
Profile Image for Nicole.
170 reviews2 followers
December 31, 2021
👍🏻: Vivian writes about how one experience with a differently-abled child led her to see the kindness of children in the most pure & wholesome way. She tells stories of her interactions with children from all different backgrounds & how it has made her realize that children know so much more about kindness (& meeting people where they’re at) than we ever will. Definitely recommend this to anyone who works with children or in education!
👎🏻: I struggled to get into the book a bit, which led me to set it down for way too many months in between starting & finishing it. I think if I would have read it straight through (which you easily could in an hour or 2), I would have enjoyed it more!
Profile Image for Audrey.
132 reviews
June 15, 2017
I think if you look up NF in the dictionary you'll find the entire text of this book. I hope against hope that Leo has teachers with even a sliver of this writer, or the teachers she writes about, in them.
Profile Image for Libby Zukatis.
11 reviews
October 4, 2023
had to read for class. so boring. it was interesting at some points and i liked some of the things said about how children perceive things.
53 reviews
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January 9, 2026
Vivian Paley and her tape recorder revolutionized the world of early childhood education
211 reviews
January 29, 2011
It's hard for me to write a coherent review about any book by Vivian Paley because I love her books so much. Reading any of her books, for me, is like opening a little window onto exactly the sort of teacher I want to be. Her humility and self doubt, her deep respect and love for her students, her daily moment-to-moment desire to really understand them, to make her classroom a nurturing community for them, the high value she places on imagination, and narrative, and play...every chapter of each of her books gives me something I can totally relate to, and at the same time really aspire to. In this particular book she also writes a bit more about how her religion (she's Jewish) informs her thinking about children and teaching, which is not a topic she delves into in the other books of hers I have read so far.
Profile Image for Cathy.
334 reviews4 followers
April 3, 2014
It has been quite a while since I have read a book about the education of young children and I wish I had read Ms. Paley's book 20 years ago. It validates what I thought then and what I think now - children, teens, adults, indeed all people have stories to tell and those stories should be listened to with respect. Sharing our stories helps us ground our lives and helps make us human to each other and to ourselves. As we push our children to take tests and practice for tests in school and as we move them from this lesson to that lesson at home we are taking away their time and their right to tell their stories. We are taking away their time to learn what it means to be compassionate, empathetic people. Let us tell stories!
Profile Image for Jessica .
116 reviews
April 24, 2007
It was okay. A little to dreamy and over-sweet for me. But an easy, quick read for one of my education classes.
29 reviews
August 17, 2010
So interesting! Glad that I work in a place where imagination, play and community are still integral to the "curriculum."
57 reviews1 follower
August 5, 2011
Really powerful and inpirational
Profile Image for Mary.
189 reviews3 followers
July 4, 2013
I am going to try this story acting in the fall...interesting.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews

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