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Klopp Actually: (Imaginary) Life with Football's Most Sensible Heartthrob
A hilarious diary of married life with the sensible, no-nonsense man of all our Jürgen Klopp, from critically-acclaimed comedian and Twitter sensation Laura Lexx.Inspired by the viral 'If I ever met Jürgen Klopp I'd say "omg if we have a baby we should call it Klipp" just so he'd raise an eyebrow at me and tell me I'm a moron and I'd be so naked by the time he'd finished doing that...'In these uncertain times we all need a coping mechanism. And Laura Lexx has found the obvious one - imagining life married to the sensible, no-nonsense man of our dreams, Jürgen Klopp. She thinks maybe he has something to do with football? More importantly, he definitely knows how to efficiently stack a dishwasher and would tell you honestly if you were being unreasonable about a colleague. From job interviews to furniture shopping in IKEA to making a birthday cake for their daughter, Klipp, Klopp Actually is a hilarious, warm and deeply silly diary of life with everyone's favourite baseball-cap-wearing, bespectacled German football manager. 'I shiver, my skin breaking out into tiny goosebumps. "Are you cold?" He whispers, his lips brushing my ear, making the fine hairs ripple. "A little." I grin, pressing against his thigh. He runs a hand down the curve of my spine... "You should put a jumper on."''I'd LOVE to read a whole book of Laura's funny, clever, sweet imagination . . . it made me laugh a huge amount!' Marian Keyes'Laura is so funny and I can't wait to read this book and I hope it isn't awkward when I *actually* marry Jürgen Klopp' Sara Pascoe'It's rare to find brilliant new talent, rarer still to discover it on twitter but Laura's thread on Klopp was my highlight of the year. I cannot wait to see what she does in book form. I shall devour it. A great shining comedic talent' Emma Kennedy(P)2020 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
144 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 3, 2020
22 people are currently reading
109 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
November 6, 2020
We read this during the first lockdown. Well for a change my husband read and I listened (I’m not on Twitter).
We found this hilarious. It was just the right time for this and we eagerly looked forward to the next tweet.
We still laugh about this.
We found this hilarious. It was just the right time for this and we eagerly looked forward to the next tweet.
We still laugh about this.
January 25, 2022
Ich breche das Buch an dieser Stelle ab, obwohl ich nicht einmal die Hälfte geschafft habe.
Die Grundidee klang witzig und kurzweilig, aber der Gedanke zieht sich zäh wie ein Gummi und ist schnell wiederholend lahm.
Dafür ist mir meine Lesezeit zu wichtig.
Also weg damit!
Die Grundidee klang witzig und kurzweilig, aber der Gedanke zieht sich zäh wie ein Gummi und ist schnell wiederholend lahm.
Dafür ist mir meine Lesezeit zu wichtig.
Also weg damit!
January 30, 2024
This book is ridiculous and silly but absolutely brilliant. It was shorter than I expected but it has made me laugh out loud at every turn.
Premise is that this lady imagines she’s married to Klopp and the plot goes from there. We see a year of imaginary marriage and it’s everything I said before, ridiculous and hilarious.
If you’re feeling a bit down, then maybe give this book a try. But be prepared for silliness and innuendos.
Premise is that this lady imagines she’s married to Klopp and the plot goes from there. We see a year of imaginary marriage and it’s everything I said before, ridiculous and hilarious.
If you’re feeling a bit down, then maybe give this book a try. But be prepared for silliness and innuendos.
September 28, 2020
Great light-hearted book.
It was a funny book of Laura's desires and the super sensible grounding responses from the football manager Klopp & their fictional marriage and life together, what a fabulous metaphor for how Laura's and indeed some of our brains work, all those irrational fears creeping in and a brilliant way of subduing them.
Very clever, witty and easy read, which is much needed right now.
It was a funny book of Laura's desires and the super sensible grounding responses from the football manager Klopp & their fictional marriage and life together, what a fabulous metaphor for how Laura's and indeed some of our brains work, all those irrational fears creeping in and a brilliant way of subduing them.
Very clever, witty and easy read, which is much needed right now.
January 8, 2022
Utterly delightful. Who knew sensible and practical could be so sexy?
January 3, 2021
QOTD: Who's your weird celebrity crush?
.
.
Mine, without a shadow of a doubt is Jürgen Klopp (for those who aren't familiar, he's the manager of Liverpool FC)
.
.
So I could not RESIST this funny little book written by @lexxlaura about my 'shouldn't but would'.
.
.
Inspired by a random tweet that went viral in the early throes of Covid, this is Laura telling her imagined story of being married to Klopp.
.
.
It took us through a year in Laura and Klopp's marital bliss. A lot of mundane day to day was in there along with a lot of pragmatic, rational and sensible Klopp. And a lot of inferenced 🍆🍆. I joked to my friend this should have been called Fifty Shades of Klopp, never mind Klopp Actually 🤣
.
.
Throw in the fact that every line of his I read in his accent in my head, this quick read left me feeling like 'what the hell have I just read' but really amused and generally uplifted in equal measure.
.
.
And I can't go without saying how much I loved the note to Klopp in the Afterword. Brilliant.
.
.
This is a great, light hearted book for anyone who a bit like me would drop their kecks if he so much as looked at them 🤣❤️
.
.
#jurgenklopp #kloppactually #liverpoolfc #funread #quickread
.
.
Mine, without a shadow of a doubt is Jürgen Klopp (for those who aren't familiar, he's the manager of Liverpool FC)
.
.
So I could not RESIST this funny little book written by @lexxlaura about my 'shouldn't but would'.
.
.
Inspired by a random tweet that went viral in the early throes of Covid, this is Laura telling her imagined story of being married to Klopp.
.
.
It took us through a year in Laura and Klopp's marital bliss. A lot of mundane day to day was in there along with a lot of pragmatic, rational and sensible Klopp. And a lot of inferenced 🍆🍆. I joked to my friend this should have been called Fifty Shades of Klopp, never mind Klopp Actually 🤣
.
.
Throw in the fact that every line of his I read in his accent in my head, this quick read left me feeling like 'what the hell have I just read' but really amused and generally uplifted in equal measure.
.
.
And I can't go without saying how much I loved the note to Klopp in the Afterword. Brilliant.
.
.
This is a great, light hearted book for anyone who a bit like me would drop their kecks if he so much as looked at them 🤣❤️
.
.
#jurgenklopp #kloppactually #liverpoolfc #funread #quickread
April 18, 2021
My mum got me this as a "joke present". I don't think she realised how explicit it was.
I can't finish it, every passage HAD to include a sex joke about Klopp and the became less and less subtle. If it was about Virgil Van Dijk, there's someone who you know you'd feel safe in his arms.
I can't finish it, every passage HAD to include a sex joke about Klopp and the became less and less subtle. If it was about Virgil Van Dijk, there's someone who you know you'd feel safe in his arms.
October 19, 2020
Utter filth! Hilarious, imaginary, superb filth. Loved it.
December 10, 2020
Wonderful!
September 3, 2021
Jurgen Klopp is the current manager of the English Premier League’s Liverpool soccer team. He is German by birth and known for his smart, aggressive “heavy metal” style of coaching. But if you see him, with his signature baseball cap, round glasses, and intelligent smile, you just know that his logistical brain can sort through any challenge in a heartbeat.
At least, that’s what comedian Laura Lexx thinks. A stand-up comedian, she basically lost her job as soon as England went into lockdown, so she let her mind and her Twitter account contemplate the idea of what it might be like to be married to a man like Jurgen Klopp. Her tweets about what their life together would look like caught on, and it wasn’t long before people were asking for more. So she wrote a book.
Klopp, Actually is the story of that marriage. The love of a woman (kind of a hot mess) and a man (highly organized and sensible) and their darling 2-year-old daughter Klipp. When she worries that she won’t be able to find a good job after taking time off to be with Klipp, he steps in and explains how her desire to be a good manger as well as a mother shows how dedicated she would be to her job. When she thinks about doing some work on their kitchen herself, he points out that their time is important, and it would be more efficient to spend the money to hire professionals so they are free to spend their time doing something else.
When she stripped the bed in the morning and by night was too tired to put on the new sheets and duvet cover, she goes to the bedroom to find that he’d taken care of it all, asking why she would leave such a task to the end of the day. And when she’s reluctant to go to the big gala, feeling insecure about having to talk to many strangers, he realizes that they have been approaching the problem all wrong and comes up with a way for him to play defense for her, making sure she’s never left in a group of people where she would be uncomfortable.
Who wouldn’t want to marry a man like this Jurgen Klopp?
Klopp Actually is a fun romp into an imaginary world where marriage to the world’s most sensible man is sexy and charming and a great escape. Laura Lexx’s vision of Klopp love is a genuine good time.
That said, I did have one problem with this book: I wanted more. How did they meet? How did Jurgen propose to her? What was their sensible wedding like? This is a quick read, only about 100 pages, and it was enough to whet my appetite for this type of Jurgen Klopp fan fiction but not enough to satisfy it. Here’s hoping for a second volume!
At least, that’s what comedian Laura Lexx thinks. A stand-up comedian, she basically lost her job as soon as England went into lockdown, so she let her mind and her Twitter account contemplate the idea of what it might be like to be married to a man like Jurgen Klopp. Her tweets about what their life together would look like caught on, and it wasn’t long before people were asking for more. So she wrote a book.
Klopp, Actually is the story of that marriage. The love of a woman (kind of a hot mess) and a man (highly organized and sensible) and their darling 2-year-old daughter Klipp. When she worries that she won’t be able to find a good job after taking time off to be with Klipp, he steps in and explains how her desire to be a good manger as well as a mother shows how dedicated she would be to her job. When she thinks about doing some work on their kitchen herself, he points out that their time is important, and it would be more efficient to spend the money to hire professionals so they are free to spend their time doing something else.
When she stripped the bed in the morning and by night was too tired to put on the new sheets and duvet cover, she goes to the bedroom to find that he’d taken care of it all, asking why she would leave such a task to the end of the day. And when she’s reluctant to go to the big gala, feeling insecure about having to talk to many strangers, he realizes that they have been approaching the problem all wrong and comes up with a way for him to play defense for her, making sure she’s never left in a group of people where she would be uncomfortable.
Who wouldn’t want to marry a man like this Jurgen Klopp?
Klopp Actually is a fun romp into an imaginary world where marriage to the world’s most sensible man is sexy and charming and a great escape. Laura Lexx’s vision of Klopp love is a genuine good time.
That said, I did have one problem with this book: I wanted more. How did they meet? How did Jurgen propose to her? What was their sensible wedding like? This is a quick read, only about 100 pages, and it was enough to whet my appetite for this type of Jurgen Klopp fan fiction but not enough to satisfy it. Here’s hoping for a second volume!
March 1, 2023
I saw Laura Lexx live recently, and bought this (and her other) book, thinking that if she's half as funny and insightful on paper as she is live, it would be well worth it.
It was only when I got the book home that I realised it featured a football manager. I was suddenly worried. I do not understand the appeal of football; for many it seems to be central to their lives, but for me it actively repels my interest. The Discworld books have generally all got 5 star ratings from me, with the exception of the one centred around football.
I needn't have worried - this book didn't really have much to do with football, and the few jokes that did relate to football fell within even my narrow football knowledge. Mostly, it was hilarious look at some of the stresses and tensions of modern life, with the genuinely helpful reminder that the bulk of them are made huge by our perspective, and could be transformed into smaller, more manageable hurdles if we could look at them a different way, with the help of someone supportive.
It was only when I got the book home that I realised it featured a football manager. I was suddenly worried. I do not understand the appeal of football; for many it seems to be central to their lives, but for me it actively repels my interest. The Discworld books have generally all got 5 star ratings from me, with the exception of the one centred around football.
I needn't have worried - this book didn't really have much to do with football, and the few jokes that did relate to football fell within even my narrow football knowledge. Mostly, it was hilarious look at some of the stresses and tensions of modern life, with the genuinely helpful reminder that the bulk of them are made huge by our perspective, and could be transformed into smaller, more manageable hurdles if we could look at them a different way, with the help of someone supportive.
October 9, 2020
This was a lovely bit of escapist fantasy and light relief, perfect for the current times. The book feels very 2020 (this is deliberate, the author mentions in the preface that the idea came from a series of tweets in the early stages of lockdown when her career in stand-up comedy was put on hold and she watched an interview with Jurgen Klopp) and I'm not sure it will stand the test of time, but I also don't think it needs to.
Laura Lexx has a very nice writing style and I'm excited to hear (via the Standard Issue podcast) that she has plans for a full novel at some point.
Laura Lexx has a very nice writing style and I'm excited to hear (via the Standard Issue podcast) that she has plans for a full novel at some point.
January 5, 2021
Just wonderfully silly and exactly the sort of thing I needed to read on the first day of lockdown 3.0. I am a big fan of Mr Klopp, and can completely understand why this book was written. I actually found the original tweets to be funnier than the diary entries, as they got a little formulaic and there were (non-football) references I didn’t get, despite being a similar age to the author. Overall though, a funny and distracting read which I did enjoy and will probably pick up again when I need some humorous daydreaming.
January 5, 2023
An amusing little book about what it may be like to be married to the no-nonsense, sensible Klopp. It is funny at times, ridiculous at times, and very whimsical.
Lexx brings out elements of her own personality and her own struggles that can relate well to others.
I was not so enamoured with the endings to each chapter that I felt became very repetitive and was no longer funny after a couple of times, but others may enjoy the innuendos to end each entry.
Overall a kind of feel good read that brings a smile
Lexx brings out elements of her own personality and her own struggles that can relate well to others.
I was not so enamoured with the endings to each chapter that I felt became very repetitive and was no longer funny after a couple of times, but others may enjoy the innuendos to end each entry.
Overall a kind of feel good read that brings a smile
September 19, 2020
Have followed Laura Lexx on Twitter for a while and found the Twitter thread which spawned this very funny at the time. And in the madness of Lockdown was very pleased to hear it was being turned into a full book. Fun, witty, good clean (OK, filthy) fun! Would love to think that Klopp has actually read some of this too.
January 30, 2024
I had to stop reading this. For once I actually agree with Piers Morgan... this book is completely sexist and whilst it is an attempt (a very poor one) at being funny, it is just inappropriate. If this was a male author writing about a female, there would be uproar... in fact, it wouldn't be published. I don't understand why it is any different when the genders are reversed.
September 14, 2020
This was such an enjoyable read. So witty and funny, I enjoyed reading it to my boyfriend at bed time in the hope he would pick up some tips from Mr. Klopp! I'm not a fan of football but I am a fan of Laura Lexx!
December 16, 2020
Funny, filthy and completely entertaining! I saw the lockdown thread that started this journey, it was the only bright spot at the time, and this book really doesn’t disappoint!
I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to watch Jürgen Klopp in interview ever again without thinking of Laura Lexx.
I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to watch Jürgen Klopp in interview ever again without thinking of Laura Lexx.
June 12, 2025
Actual rating: 1.5
I felt so uncomfortable while reading this, and only finished it because it was so short. Seems like this should have stayed an “inside” joke between her and her Twitter followers. Adding a 0.5 bec some of the football analogies were quite witty.
I felt so uncomfortable while reading this, and only finished it because it was so short. Seems like this should have stayed an “inside” joke between her and her Twitter followers. Adding a 0.5 bec some of the football analogies were quite witty.
September 5, 2020
Brought as much joy as the original Twitter thread. Long live Laura, Jürgen and Klipp.
September 9, 2020
Such a lovely, witty, funny, lighthearted read.
Made me laugh no end. A great read to escape the current doom n gloom. I read it in kindle form but I think I’ll buy it in book form as it would be a lovely one to pick up and randomly read for a quick pick me up.
Made me laugh no end. A great read to escape the current doom n gloom. I read it in kindle form but I think I’ll buy it in book form as it would be a lovely one to pick up and randomly read for a quick pick me up.
September 10, 2020
This book has some of the most brilliant euphemisms based on normal domestic living I've ever read
September 18, 2020
Delightful
A fun read. Made me laugh out loud, and even unexpectedly tear up a few times. Really hope there will be more Klopp to read in the future.
A fun read. Made me laugh out loud, and even unexpectedly tear up a few times. Really hope there will be more Klopp to read in the future.
December 10, 2020
I did think it would be a more coherent storyline, however, very amusing. Great light read.
December 18, 2020
Funny, silly and charming little read.
December 27, 2020
The good laugh we all need in 2020! Plus Klopp is amazing and this is definitely how I would picture him in real life haha!
January 3, 2021
Hilarious view of an imaginary fantasy life! Cannot recommend this highly enough.
January 30, 2021
Didn't take long to read this one. Nice style to it, plenty of laugh out loud moments of silliness and smut.
February 1, 2021
Hilarious
Quite simply hilarious, I'm so glad a friend recommended it, it's the perfect antidote to the current stresses of life
Quite simply hilarious, I'm so glad a friend recommended it, it's the perfect antidote to the current stresses of life
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March 10, 2021Hilarious!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews