The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality

The Pragmatist's Guide #2

by Malcolm Collins, Simone Collins

Those in the US who get turned on by watching a predator eat a person outnumber the entire population of Massachusetts, a random American is about as likely to be turned on by parent-child roleplay as they are to be Black, and more Americans are turned on by feces than have a PhD. What the heck is going on here? Why do strange, often-inconvenient things activate a system that presumably evolved to compel humans to reproduce? Why do some things arouse some while repulsing others?

Have you
• Been aroused by something . . . unexpected?
• Stumbled upon bizarre porn and wondered how it could possibly turn people on?
• Wondered why something that turns on many of your friends is super gross to you?

Have we got a book for you! The Pragmatist’s Guide to Sexuality takes a deep dive into research surrounding human sexuality while also presenting one of the most comprehensive studies into what arouses people, using this data to explore everything from the social structures of early hominids to the future of dating.

As with all Pragmatist Foundation books, the proceeds generated from the sale of this work go to nonprofits.

Genres: Psychology, Sexuality, Relationships, Nonfiction, Self Help, Science, Philosophy

442 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 18, 2020

Reviews

[Mahrya Q · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't exactly what I was expecting, but I really should have because it's just what the title says it is. Nowhere else have I seen so much information, percentages and comparisons regarding what people like and theories as to why. For example, do you think the weird kink you have stems from something that happened to you in childhood? Nope. This book gives evidence that you were likely just born with whatever preferences you have when it comes to all kinds of sexuality. And that's only the tip of the iceberg. Fascinating.

[Cameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I like about this book is that it unashamedly attempts to tell the truth without bearing offence or politics. It's probably the most evidenced backed and well-written book on sexuality out there.

There are definitely some shocking points and information within, but ultimately gives you a better understanding of human sexuality and how it developed. The dominance/submission angle is also quite interesting.

I wrote so many notes I won't include them here, feel free to message me for a copy.

[A. Housewife · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The average person is aroused by a whopping 22 weird things."

This book does what I like best in a nonfiction book: It radically changes how I understand something, in a way that is so smooth and easy to read and so obvious that I hardly notice that I've fundamentally changed my understanding.

I don't think I can go back to the way I used to understand sexuality. I'm not even sure I can remember how I used to think about it. The concept of arousal and aversion plus volume is so clear and so after-the-fact obvious. They do a great job of explaining. The sections on aversion were fascinating. The idea that most of the population has "kinks" was surprising and discussed very pragmatically. (I would have liked to see some discussion of pedophilia, but since it is criminal I can understand the difficulties involved in researching it.)

The conversations about sexual identity are logical and persuasive, explaining how some of the current language currently lumps different arousal paths together and thus doesn't adequately account for important sexual differences . The last section was written in a very fun style and relaxed tone. Yes, some of it is wildly speculative but it's all good fun and there are so many refreshing thoughts and ideas there.

This was my first "Pragmatist's Guide To" book but now I'm going to read more. I never heard of the NeoCorp model of family and I'm looking forward to reading about that. Sounds intriguing.

[Malcolm Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book that a large team put a lot of effort into create

[Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll be completely honest: I saved this book for last when reading The Pragmatist Guide series because most of their books are on the 'challenging academic' end of the spectrum and I thought this would be a racy, scintillating read. Alas, as I started reading this book, I quickly realized that this, too, is a very rigorous and sometimes challenging read. Those looking for fluffy, scandalous pop psychology paperbacks on human sexuality might be a bit dissappointed; Simone and Malcom Collins really focus on persenting grounded, logical, ratoinal commentary on various aspects of human sexuality to a point at which it stops feeling... sexy. Don't let that turn you away, however: What you'll take away instead is a profoundly deeper understanding of what turns people on and why, plus several ideas shared in the book might even really surprise you and make you look at sex/relationships/human history/humans in general totally differently.

[Vivek Karunakaran · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the authors' transparency to mention the studies that don't support their notions. Some of the statistics are really surprising like "the significant percentage of men who get attracted to female form, also feel aversion to vagina" , "Significant percentage of men who don't prefer live action porn" and so on. The cognitive model of arousal/aversion to understand some of the kinks, Making sense of arousal patterns with Neuroscience and Evolutionary principles, The chapter on Evolutionary Psychology that makes clear of some misunderstandings, Mating market analysis in the concluding chapter and all the awesome data in the supplement - This book is highly recommended for anyone interested in human sexual behaviour.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be fair, I know the authors, which is why I checked out this book. I really appreciated their first book The Pragmatist's Guide to Life and was eager to read their next two books, including this one. This is a very thorough, very carefully researched overview of human sexuality full of surprising statistics, interesting studies, and intriguing models (presented as an alternate to what Simone and Malcolm see as outdated frameworks, such as the Kinsey scale). If you find this subject to be interesting (and frankly, if you're interested in psychology in general), I think you'll enjoy this book.

[James Hardcourt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have not been able to put this book down.
I'd never read any of the Pragmatist Guides before, but the superb, but totally accessible presentation of genuinely ground-breaking research is beyond any expectation I held. This book is full of extraordinary insights into what, and where everyone's unique arousal pathways are. It dispels common sexual myths with rigour - the fact that the average person finds 22 unusual things sexually arousing is a wonderful starting point for the in-depth exploration of what those are.
It is the presentation of the data that lifts this book from good to great. It is absolutely for the layperson. It's thoughtful, challenging, sensitive to the difficult issues, but most of all laugh out loud funny in the way it reflects on the beautiful craziness of what arouses us.
As it acknowledges, it won't have the academic rigour that some will want, but in something so wide-ranging that would have been impossible. Instead, it makes that weakness a strength and challenges us to come up with our own answers and dig deeper into those things that aren't yet clear.
If you are curious about what turns people on, where that might come from, and how you fit into it, read this book. It's a masterpiece of research and a truly great read.

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Somewhere near the begining of this book the authors prefecases things by saying they won't be citing studies much. Surpise suprise, they cite studies more frequently than any author I have ever read. I supose it is more a reflection of the standards they holds themselves to and really indivicative of the academic rigor behind a book that is otherwise very accesible and written in the vernacular.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Prose like a cracked.com listicle and statistically dubious questionnaires notwithstanding, this is a really interesting effort to understand where love, attraction and sexual imagination come from. Coming from a blank slate tradition, it did manage to convince me that many more-or-less universally developed social attitides aren't ad hoc capitalist social constructions but rather mental sets 'discovered' and articulated through the customs of our times. The authors' stated intention to establish a centrally organized marriage bureau, to 'repair the broken dating market' in which the social 10% dominate and the bottom 30% flounder, is a characteristically batshit Silicon Valley contraption of social engineering. And yet, they trace real problems, and I much prefer technocratic daydreams over blinkered academic moralizing.

[Tiago · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5⭐️ Too repetitive... could be 250 pages.

[Brianna Carosi · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting display of research. I really like how the author's point out things they are not 100% sure of and add a helpful commentary on the short comings of their research. It seems honest

[Kevin S · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's... a lot. One-hundred and twenty four chapters. That's either a good thing or a bad thing depending on what you're looking for. I'm maybe 10% of the way through the book at the time of this review, but I'm here typing because I'm just too excited to say something good about the Collins's writing.

Simone and Malcolm Collins consistently provide a thorough, well-researched, hyper-intellectual teardown for all of their content, and this book is no exception. It's difficult to power through any of their books in one sitting. Any given chapter might turn my world on its head, and I need to pause the book and chew on the content for a while before returning to the work.

In their "Pragmatist's Guide" series, Simone and Malcolm provide practical advice on achieving specific goals. Here's a goal you might want, here's the current state of the world, and here's how you might go about pursuing your goal in such a world. "The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality" is not that. Everyone else seems to be having a good time, and Simone and Malcolm want to know /why/.

For example: Early in the book, Simone and Malcolm assert that arousal is the opposite of disgust. A kink is just a very specific exception in a person's disgust system, and those exceptions are somehow erotic. Just as disgust is involuntary, so too is arousal.

While there seems to be no clear goal of the book, the implications of their findings are still very helpful. For example, if you have a weird kink (I definitely have at least one weird kink), you can depersonalize yourself from any shame around it. Everyone has a weird kink, kinks seem to be unchangeable, and arousal is involuntary. Your personal responsibility is in how, who, and when you engage in the kink with; but because the kink is involuntary, you can release all your shame around having the kink.

Again, this is just the content from the opening of the book. There's so much more here than just this.

Knowledge is power, and this is entirely too much knowledge.

[GrantedBooks Rogers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I stumbled upon The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality by Malcolm and Simone Collins quite by accident, and Im glad i did. I sensed it was my cup of tea from reading the title, and I was right.
Collins’ have a unique approach to exploring human sexuality, its analytical and human. I enjoyed this book, it made me reflect on my own understanding of sexuality.
The authors provide a scientific outlook that is combined with a compassionate understanding of the human experience. It's not a book that offers easy answers; instead, it invites you to think and question yourself.
I'm not sure why exactly, but this book resonated with me on a level that few others have. Perhaps it's the author's willingness to challenge the usual and conventional understanding of human sexuality.
The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality is a book that I think many will find valuable. It's not just a guide so to speak but a conversation starter or a thought-provoker?
If you're looking for a book that offers a fresh outlook on sexuality, that’s also intellectually stimulating and emotionally resonant, give this one a try. Recommended.

[hTimSs S · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Pragmatist’s Guide to Sexuality: What Turns People On, Why, and What That Tells Us About Our Species by Malcolm Collins and Simone Collins, Simone, and Malcolm go deeply into the issue of how people structure self and when they fail to do so in this comprehensive and multidisciplinary examination of social systems throughout time and geography. The book invites us to consider critically the hierarchies, conventions, and rituals that have developed alongside our physical evolution. It is an engrossing combination of biology, the field of neuroscience, culture, religion, and governance. This book is full of interesting research, and opens the door to examining our desires and why they are what they are. Recommend.

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having read book one in the Pragmatist’s guide series, and finding it well-written if not really up my alley, I was curious but cautious about this book. I have to say I enjoyed reading this a lot more. It’s interesting, well-researched, and not biased in a way that I feared. (Nothing phobic, but an interesting look at sexuality and arousal, and I greatly appreciate the examples that were included, some were interesting, some were humorous). I appreciated the approach taken, and the way gender vs sexuality vs what arouses you were compared. While a rather thick book, it covers a lot of topics without feeling like the authors are just going over the same thing for the sake of making the book longer. Highly recommend if you’re interested in the psychological side of arousal!

[Grymm Gevierre · Rating 5 out of 5]

As with all their books in this series, this book is a literal guide. It covers a huge range of items in the topics, and they review each one with a logical approach. As they warn you, not all items are without controversy; you must really be ready to put feelings aside and self-reflect, and be willing to change and adapt. What I love about this book, in particular, is that it doesn’t shy away from difficult conversations about attraction and repulsion. It breaks down societal norms and taboos to candidly discuss the facts. For example, there’s a whole section on differences between genders (regarding sexuality), and another on morality and sexuality.

It’s a great second part to the relationship guide and a fantastic installment to the series.

[GISELA ORTT · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book. I laughed a lot, for the weirdness of it all, like people being aroused by animals.
I always felt so sad for being assexual, and now I am for the first time glad and happy about it, at least I am not having the urge to have sex with dogs, it would have been so much worse.
Even more astonishing is the prevalence of arousal linked to rape, specially when you look at subgroups, it is almost scary to think that a male friend at my side has a 10% chance to be aroused by the thoght of rape, and depending on which group they belong it can be bigger.
Excelent explanation on why the dating market is so broken for both genders from an evolutionary perspective.
Thank you Malcolm and Simone for the courage to say such unconfortable truths about our species.

[Victor Whitman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this interesting to read. That said, the many general claims based on a survey seem dubious at best, or nonsense. The authors based their findings on a survey, some article citations and the occasional reference to an interview with an expert source. I am not a scientist but this struck me as junk science. For example, the authors claim based on their surveying that millions of women fantasize and get aroused at the thought of actually being sexually assaulted. In another section, the authors report that cat owners have certain sexual desires in far greater abundance than dog owners. Oh really?

[Mehmet Kalaycı · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best research books I've read in recent months.

This book is an in-depth look at the subject of sexuality. All the aspects, history, biology, psychology and sociology are covered. Many of the information cited in this book surprised me concerning the sexual behavior of men and women.

I recommend everyone to read this book, especially in today's unfortunate hypersexualized world.

[Jos Polfliet · Rating 1 out of 5]

I spent this whole book fascinated by the unexpected findings, only to find out at the end that all their conclusions were based on a study of only 250 people. That invalidates just about everything as finding correlations between groups of, e.g. "wealthy men above 50" leads to a sample size of likely less than 10.
I'm therefore giving this a bad rating as I expected a scientific book, but with this type of study, it is barely above anecdotal instead.

[George Dimarelos · Rating 5 out of 5]

You won't be leaving this book without some pretty major shifts in how you view sexuality.

Now to attempt the impossible task of stopping myself from butchering the statistics and wildly extrapolating the results when speaking to people about it.

Srsly though, who knew BDSM was so mainstream? Turns out it's almost more rebellious to not have done it at some point.

[Ashuntae Holliday]

Travis

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fresh ideas and fun reading

This boon provided me with a new mental model of human sexuality. It's a quick read with plenty of humor too.

[Kevin Kodama · Rating 5 out of 5]

another big banger

[Eugene Chambers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eye opening – we’re really not as weird as we think we are. Alternatively, we’re all weird as hell. Great book and interesting read.

[Devin Cobert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Came to understand sexuality, went away with a radical recontextualization of the sociological fabric of society and a richer understanding of sexuality at the same time.

[Swati Tanu · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the best things about this book is that the authors are honest. If there's a study that doesn't agree with what they're saying, they'll tell you.

At first, the authors said they won't talk about studies much. But guess what? They talk about a lot of studies! It's like they really wanted to make sure what they said was based on real facts. This makes the book smart but still easy to understand. If you're expecting a fun and exciting book about human sexuality, you might be disappointed. The authors focus on explaining things logically and with good reasons. It can sometimes make the topic feel less exciting. But don't let that stop you from reading it! You'll learn a lot about what makes people attracted to each other and why. Some of the things they say might surprise you and make you see sex, relationships, and humans in a whole new way.

You might like to wander through a few artistic journals — they’re full of sparks and surprises.

[Juny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Todos ustedes son gente guarra y sucia. Me encanta. Excelente libro!!