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Craigslist Confessional: A Collection of Secrets from Anonymous Strangers
“Touching.” — The New York Times
For fans of Humans of New York and PostSecret , a collection of raw, urgent, and heartfelt stories, shared anonymously.
Helena Dea Bala was an exhausted and isolated DC lobbyist, suffocating under the weight of her student loan debt, when she decided to split her lunch with a man who often panhandled near her office. They chatted effortlessly as they ate; there were no half-truths or white lies, and no fear of judgment. Helena felt connected and unburdened in a way she hadn’t in years.
Inspired, she posted an ad on Craigslist promising to listen, anonymously and for free, to whatever the speaker felt he or she couldn’t tell anyone else. Emails from people desperate to connect flooded her inbox, and she listened. Within months, Helena quit her job, deferred her loans, and dove into listening full time.
The forty first-person confessions in this book are vivid, intimate, and real; they range from devastating traumas, to lost loves, to reflections on hard choices. Some accounts are quotidian, like that of one increasingly estranged “I want to feel that we’re not just roommates—that we’re not just waiting for the kids to grow up so that we can move on.” Others are deeply disconcerting, like that of a sex addict employed by a religious organization and several are heartening, like that of a mother who dares to hope that her daughter, born with life-threatening heart defects, will one day walk down the “Sometimes you need to have the audacity to believe that it will all be okay, that it is okay to have the same kinds of dreams as everyone else.”
In its complex portrayal of the common human experience, Craigslist Confessional challenges us to explore the depths of our vulnerability and expand the borders of our empathy.
For fans of Humans of New York and PostSecret , a collection of raw, urgent, and heartfelt stories, shared anonymously.
Helena Dea Bala was an exhausted and isolated DC lobbyist, suffocating under the weight of her student loan debt, when she decided to split her lunch with a man who often panhandled near her office. They chatted effortlessly as they ate; there were no half-truths or white lies, and no fear of judgment. Helena felt connected and unburdened in a way she hadn’t in years.
Inspired, she posted an ad on Craigslist promising to listen, anonymously and for free, to whatever the speaker felt he or she couldn’t tell anyone else. Emails from people desperate to connect flooded her inbox, and she listened. Within months, Helena quit her job, deferred her loans, and dove into listening full time.
The forty first-person confessions in this book are vivid, intimate, and real; they range from devastating traumas, to lost loves, to reflections on hard choices. Some accounts are quotidian, like that of one increasingly estranged “I want to feel that we’re not just roommates—that we’re not just waiting for the kids to grow up so that we can move on.” Others are deeply disconcerting, like that of a sex addict employed by a religious organization and several are heartening, like that of a mother who dares to hope that her daughter, born with life-threatening heart defects, will one day walk down the “Sometimes you need to have the audacity to believe that it will all be okay, that it is okay to have the same kinds of dreams as everyone else.”
In its complex portrayal of the common human experience, Craigslist Confessional challenges us to explore the depths of our vulnerability and expand the borders of our empathy.
272 pages, Paperback
First published July 7, 2020
204 people are currently reading
12513 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 634 reviews
August 2, 2020
I promise I'm not an insensitive person and I give the people who contributed their stories 5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ and sincerely hope for the best for them.
My rating reflects the moral responsibility of the author that I feel she ignored.
I paid over $16 (𝙠𝙚𝙧-𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜) for this eBook and I was surprised to learn that none of the money from sales goes to a charity or 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨. The author put on an ad promising just to listen without judgement, then promptly used the misfortune of others for personal profit.
The beginning 7% of the book is the author trying -poorly- to justify her actions, and in the Acknowledgements at the end she couldn't be bothered to thank her contributors (or us readers/buyers)
Also some parts of the stories don't ring true. I believe it's possible she embellished or mix and matched some parts to suit her needs.
🔶 PS I really really hate leaving bad reviews. I feel like a jerk every time 🔶
My rating reflects the moral responsibility of the author that I feel she ignored.
I paid over $16 (𝙠𝙚𝙧-𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜) for this eBook and I was surprised to learn that none of the money from sales goes to a charity or 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨. The author put on an ad promising just to listen without judgement, then promptly used the misfortune of others for personal profit.
The beginning 7% of the book is the author trying -poorly- to justify her actions, and in the Acknowledgements at the end she couldn't be bothered to thank her contributors (or us readers/buyers)
Also some parts of the stories don't ring true. I believe it's possible she embellished or mix and matched some parts to suit her needs.
🔶 PS I really really hate leaving bad reviews. I feel like a jerk every time 🔶
August 8, 2020
I don’t often revisit my reviews after I’ve written them, and I’ve never posted any like this before, but I do feel like there’s some extenuating circumstances in this case. So instead I’ve replaced my initial review with this message I sent to another Goodreads member who I believe has helped spread some misinformation about both Craigslist Confessional and the author, Helena Dea Bala. Some portions have been edited for clarity or to remove identifying information.
Dear potential reader,
I agree with what some other reviewers have said, that there’s a moral responsibility for people who have power to do right with that power. I also understand the feeling of helplessness when reading these stories. I’d guess that’s a pretty common reaction, one that leads to the emotional responses so many people have had towards the book, like sadness and anger.
There seems to be a disconnect in where those reviewers think the power in these relationship lies. Perhaps I just know more about the process Helena took in finding and speaking with the individuals in the book because I’ve put more time into researching its background. But I’ve got my copy of Craigslist Confessional right here and I’ve re-read the introduction. She goes through every step of how the project started, the ways she made sure the subject was comfortable, giving them control over their own words. She gave them the option to still be listened to even if they didn’t want their stories shared or recorded. The ball is entirely in their court.
But I feel like the most important component of these conversations is the fact that they’re anonymous. That’s why people responded when they saw her ad on Craigslist. I understand that while reading you may want to help those that are struggling, I feel the same way—but that’s not what they asked for. These are people that just want to be heard. They wanted to vent to a stranger, and maybe let their stories be spread around so they can reach other people, people who might be feeling similarly alone. They did not want their name attached. And if any of them decided to identify themselves and ask the public for help, I have no doubt Helena would be the first one to step up and assist them.
They want someone to listen and understand, and they want us to want to do something about it. But asking for nominal amounts to be provided to people who’ve shared their stories is not going to help in any meaningful way. You know what would help Steve, the man with Schizophrenia? Comprehensive healthcare coverage in the United States. And Lucas, who spent 15 years in prison on an erroneous drug charge? He doesn’t want five cents per copy sold, he wants his life back. But he also might settle for criminal justice reform.
Honestly this level of scrutiny of an author’s intent just baffles me. Do you truly believe a person trying to nefariously profit off of “the misfortune of others” would listen to hundreds of people recount their pains and traumas day after day just to earn a not-so-quick buck? If I wrote a biography about Queen Elizabeth, would I have to send her a check for the sake of “morality”? What if I was a journalist writing on the exact same topic? Nonfiction is different from fiction. Its not made up from the author’s imagination and there’s always going to be a real, factual subject or topic. With this logic, who has the right to write about anything? And for what it’s worth, nonfiction books, including this one, go through several legal reviews which would vet both the methods and results of the project in question, by experts with much more experience than us in these matters.
The point of this book isn’t to “make a big difference” in the lives of the subjects. If someone’s interested in making financial contributions to people in need, they can check out GoFundMe. But sending thank you notes does nothing for the people in the book and goes against their wishes to speak to the author once and then never have to meet again. More than anything else those suggestions sound like ways to make the reader feel more comfortable without having to interrogate themselves thoroughly. Yeah it sucks we live in a society that lets so many people fall through the cracks, so this book is and should be treated like the wake-up call that many of us need to finally address these problems. Personally, I don’t find that “worthless”.
I didn’t intend on this being so long, but I felt inclined to speak about some things that had been glossed over in other reviews and their comment sections. I can’t say why some reviewers decided to delete half a dozen comments, including one of mine, and leave so many others that are far less constructive with some being downright spiteful. But it comes off as massively hypocritical to delete comments that disagree with you and leave ones that affirm you, while also claiming everyone has the right to their opinion.
Lastly, I do know the author’s donated profits to multiple organizations. But I think it’s ridiculous to demand someone prove that they’re giving money to charities. It reeks of performative activism. I would probably be less interested in reading a book where the author brought up they were donating whatever portion of the proceeds because it would seem like a marketing ploy. If you still at this point doubt Helena’s character and intentions, I’d like to link you to some of the Instagram takeovers she’s done where she’s talked about her book: @bostonbookfanatic, @downtogetthefictionon, @kraysbookclub, @momandmadreads. They should be one of the first highlights on their profiles.
And what‘s been said about power, I do believe that. But there’s power in having a large platform on a site like this too. As negative and slanderous reviews have gotten more attention and their words, suggesting the author “mixed and matched” facts or otherwise took advantage of the people she‘s spoken to, are seen by more people, please consider what that will mean for a debut author that’s only ever tried to help people. And potential reader, I hope that you do decide to pick up this book and see for yourself. If you do, pay special attention to story #40 if you want to understand why so many of us feel the urge to passionately defend a person we’ve never met.
Thanks for your time,
Elle
Dear potential reader,
I agree with what some other reviewers have said, that there’s a moral responsibility for people who have power to do right with that power. I also understand the feeling of helplessness when reading these stories. I’d guess that’s a pretty common reaction, one that leads to the emotional responses so many people have had towards the book, like sadness and anger.
There seems to be a disconnect in where those reviewers think the power in these relationship lies. Perhaps I just know more about the process Helena took in finding and speaking with the individuals in the book because I’ve put more time into researching its background. But I’ve got my copy of Craigslist Confessional right here and I’ve re-read the introduction. She goes through every step of how the project started, the ways she made sure the subject was comfortable, giving them control over their own words. She gave them the option to still be listened to even if they didn’t want their stories shared or recorded. The ball is entirely in their court.
But I feel like the most important component of these conversations is the fact that they’re anonymous. That’s why people responded when they saw her ad on Craigslist. I understand that while reading you may want to help those that are struggling, I feel the same way—but that’s not what they asked for. These are people that just want to be heard. They wanted to vent to a stranger, and maybe let their stories be spread around so they can reach other people, people who might be feeling similarly alone. They did not want their name attached. And if any of them decided to identify themselves and ask the public for help, I have no doubt Helena would be the first one to step up and assist them.
They want someone to listen and understand, and they want us to want to do something about it. But asking for nominal amounts to be provided to people who’ve shared their stories is not going to help in any meaningful way. You know what would help Steve, the man with Schizophrenia? Comprehensive healthcare coverage in the United States. And Lucas, who spent 15 years in prison on an erroneous drug charge? He doesn’t want five cents per copy sold, he wants his life back. But he also might settle for criminal justice reform.
Honestly this level of scrutiny of an author’s intent just baffles me. Do you truly believe a person trying to nefariously profit off of “the misfortune of others” would listen to hundreds of people recount their pains and traumas day after day just to earn a not-so-quick buck? If I wrote a biography about Queen Elizabeth, would I have to send her a check for the sake of “morality”? What if I was a journalist writing on the exact same topic? Nonfiction is different from fiction. Its not made up from the author’s imagination and there’s always going to be a real, factual subject or topic. With this logic, who has the right to write about anything? And for what it’s worth, nonfiction books, including this one, go through several legal reviews which would vet both the methods and results of the project in question, by experts with much more experience than us in these matters.
The point of this book isn’t to “make a big difference” in the lives of the subjects. If someone’s interested in making financial contributions to people in need, they can check out GoFundMe. But sending thank you notes does nothing for the people in the book and goes against their wishes to speak to the author once and then never have to meet again. More than anything else those suggestions sound like ways to make the reader feel more comfortable without having to interrogate themselves thoroughly. Yeah it sucks we live in a society that lets so many people fall through the cracks, so this book is and should be treated like the wake-up call that many of us need to finally address these problems. Personally, I don’t find that “worthless”.
I didn’t intend on this being so long, but I felt inclined to speak about some things that had been glossed over in other reviews and their comment sections. I can’t say why some reviewers decided to delete half a dozen comments, including one of mine, and leave so many others that are far less constructive with some being downright spiteful. But it comes off as massively hypocritical to delete comments that disagree with you and leave ones that affirm you, while also claiming everyone has the right to their opinion.
Lastly, I do know the author’s donated profits to multiple organizations. But I think it’s ridiculous to demand someone prove that they’re giving money to charities. It reeks of performative activism. I would probably be less interested in reading a book where the author brought up they were donating whatever portion of the proceeds because it would seem like a marketing ploy. If you still at this point doubt Helena’s character and intentions, I’d like to link you to some of the Instagram takeovers she’s done where she’s talked about her book: @bostonbookfanatic, @downtogetthefictionon, @kraysbookclub, @momandmadreads. They should be one of the first highlights on their profiles.
And what‘s been said about power, I do believe that. But there’s power in having a large platform on a site like this too. As negative and slanderous reviews have gotten more attention and their words, suggesting the author “mixed and matched” facts or otherwise took advantage of the people she‘s spoken to, are seen by more people, please consider what that will mean for a debut author that’s only ever tried to help people. And potential reader, I hope that you do decide to pick up this book and see for yourself. If you do, pay special attention to story #40 if you want to understand why so many of us feel the urge to passionately defend a person we’ve never met.
Thanks for your time,
Elle
July 24, 2020
4.5 Stars!!
I HAD to check this out after reading the reviews from my GR friends, Dita and Nazanin. Both of them rated it highly and after listening to it last night, I completely agree.
I love books about secrets. So a book about real secrets? Well, that's even better. These stories pulled so many different emotions out of me. Some stories had me fuming while others definitely had me reaching for the tissues. Some of them hit very close to home.
Stories about addiction, abuse, sexuality, love, parenthood, gender, religion, and more. I took a little something from all of them.
I thought I would listen to these stories over the course of a week or so, but I honestly couldn't stop.
I really hope that Helena Dea Bala publishes a second (and third, and fourth, etc) edition of stories. I'll read (or listen to) them all!
Highly recommended!
Thanks again, Dita and Nazanin :)
August 4, 2020
Wow, this book is heavy on my heart. If you need a book to put things into perspective right now while dealing with COVID-19, like me, this book will help you realize that your struggles and pain are valid. I could not put this book down because the stories really gripped me from chapter one. Dealing with drugs, alcoholism, sexuality, gender, marriage, religion,
Craigslist Confessional
is a deeply profound dialogue between Helena Dea Bala and various people who she's interviewed through Craigslist. This book will stay with me for some time. I can only imagine how much Helena's perspective on life has changed from encountering these people.
September 5, 2020
Callous Callie, here to report that I didn’t grab a tissue one time while reading these (mostly sad) stories. Well, I lie—I did, once, but that was because I had to wipe the fingerprints off my Kindle screen. Of course I felt empathy for the people who were getting a raw deal, but I was nowhere near tears. I simply can’t understand how everyone loved this book.
What’s this book about? It’s non-fiction. The backstory is that an attorney quit her day job and talked to a homeless person. She supposedly was so empathetic that she decided she wanted to listen to other people’s stories. She put an ad on Craigslist, inviting people to tell their woes to her. People bit, and she met up and listened. She promised (and delivered) anonymity and no judgment. And then she put all their stories into a book and made money.
I’m not going to waste time and energy trying to be all fair and making a Joy Jar. The only thing half-okay was that it was well-written and readable. Nope, I’m going straight to my whine. Oh, there are so many things that bugged me.
Complaint Board:
-The book blurb lies. It says, “Each story is told in the confessor’s voice.” Wrong. Even though the stories are told in first person, the author obviously edited them to death and her voice is what you hear. Always. For example, in two stories, the confessors use the word “empath.” Now don’t tell me that two people telling their life story would use that word. Hell, I had to look it up (hiding head in embarrassment).
-Talk real! The author can’t decide whether she’s a journalist or a poet. The supposed voices of the confessors are flat (robotic, passionless, very matter-of-fact), which is bad enough, but the author peppers the stories with poetic language. Again, obviously, the confessors aren’t telling their stories in their own words!
Here are some doozy quotes (remember, it’s supposed to be the confessors talking):
“…these instances of me being less than a model daughter are so aberrant that they stand out like mountains in the otherwise flat topography of my childhood.”
“And as I swiped the rope like a rosary through my fingers…”
“When I shut my eyes, I couldn’t stop the landscape of the barren desert from projecting itself inside my head…”
(Help!)
-Where’s the self-reflection? Because the stories are just reports—the bare facts of their transgression or pain—the confessors usually seem shallow. There’s not a lot of self-awareness or introspection going on. A few people do talk about their motives and growth, but usually it’s just emotionless reporting of their behavior.
-Enough with the cheating! There are super sad stories, but there are also stories from people who have done bad things. Too many of them involve cheating on partners. Does confessing to a stranger help assuage their guilt? Maybe it does, but I don’t think they should get off the hook. They’ve hurt people. I can just picture the people droning on in an AA meeting. Sometimes their sordid stories even sound braggy.
-Hallmark, anyone? The last couple of paragraphs in most of the stories have what feels like a tacked-on Hallmark vibe. I don’t mean they’re all cheery, I just mean they sound fake heavy and hopeful, awkward and insincere. I can see every one of these stories as a Hallmark movie.
-I can’t relate. Some reviewers say that readers will find at least one story they can relate to. And this was true: I did relate to a story where anxiety was the problem. The story wasn’t eye-opening or particularly interesting, though. None of the other stories felt familiar in any way. Maybe if I had found the stories relatable, I would have been singing a different tune.
-In it for the bucks? I don’t like it that the author capitalized on people’s sad lives and turned their stories into a book.
-Where are your manners? In the author’s Acknowledgments, she doesn’t thank the people who told their stories. A simple one line would have worked, but no, not a peep. That doesn’t seem right.
The book reminded me a little of Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, but in that book there was humor, wisdom, cuss words, and hilarious chapter titles. I did have the same beef there about the voices not being real, and that’s a big turnoff.
This taught me a lesson. From now on, I’m steering clear of true stories from strangers talking about their problems. Give me fiction, or give me a good memoir any day.
Thanks to Edelweiss for the advance copy.
What’s this book about? It’s non-fiction. The backstory is that an attorney quit her day job and talked to a homeless person. She supposedly was so empathetic that she decided she wanted to listen to other people’s stories. She put an ad on Craigslist, inviting people to tell their woes to her. People bit, and she met up and listened. She promised (and delivered) anonymity and no judgment. And then she put all their stories into a book and made money.
I’m not going to waste time and energy trying to be all fair and making a Joy Jar. The only thing half-okay was that it was well-written and readable. Nope, I’m going straight to my whine. Oh, there are so many things that bugged me.
Complaint Board:
-The book blurb lies. It says, “Each story is told in the confessor’s voice.” Wrong. Even though the stories are told in first person, the author obviously edited them to death and her voice is what you hear. Always. For example, in two stories, the confessors use the word “empath.” Now don’t tell me that two people telling their life story would use that word. Hell, I had to look it up (hiding head in embarrassment).
-Talk real! The author can’t decide whether she’s a journalist or a poet. The supposed voices of the confessors are flat (robotic, passionless, very matter-of-fact), which is bad enough, but the author peppers the stories with poetic language. Again, obviously, the confessors aren’t telling their stories in their own words!
Here are some doozy quotes (remember, it’s supposed to be the confessors talking):
“…these instances of me being less than a model daughter are so aberrant that they stand out like mountains in the otherwise flat topography of my childhood.”
“And as I swiped the rope like a rosary through my fingers…”
“When I shut my eyes, I couldn’t stop the landscape of the barren desert from projecting itself inside my head…”
(Help!)
-Where’s the self-reflection? Because the stories are just reports—the bare facts of their transgression or pain—the confessors usually seem shallow. There’s not a lot of self-awareness or introspection going on. A few people do talk about their motives and growth, but usually it’s just emotionless reporting of their behavior.
-Enough with the cheating! There are super sad stories, but there are also stories from people who have done bad things. Too many of them involve cheating on partners. Does confessing to a stranger help assuage their guilt? Maybe it does, but I don’t think they should get off the hook. They’ve hurt people. I can just picture the people droning on in an AA meeting. Sometimes their sordid stories even sound braggy.
-Hallmark, anyone? The last couple of paragraphs in most of the stories have what feels like a tacked-on Hallmark vibe. I don’t mean they’re all cheery, I just mean they sound fake heavy and hopeful, awkward and insincere. I can see every one of these stories as a Hallmark movie.
-I can’t relate. Some reviewers say that readers will find at least one story they can relate to. And this was true: I did relate to a story where anxiety was the problem. The story wasn’t eye-opening or particularly interesting, though. None of the other stories felt familiar in any way. Maybe if I had found the stories relatable, I would have been singing a different tune.
-In it for the bucks? I don’t like it that the author capitalized on people’s sad lives and turned their stories into a book.
-Where are your manners? In the author’s Acknowledgments, she doesn’t thank the people who told their stories. A simple one line would have worked, but no, not a peep. That doesn’t seem right.
The book reminded me a little of Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, but in that book there was humor, wisdom, cuss words, and hilarious chapter titles. I did have the same beef there about the voices not being real, and that’s a big turnoff.
This taught me a lesson. From now on, I’m steering clear of true stories from strangers talking about their problems. Give me fiction, or give me a good memoir any day.
Thanks to Edelweiss for the advance copy.
July 20, 2020
5 Stars
Craigslist Confession contains very short stories and they all actually did happen. I don’t think if I read a true story before, so this was a very good experience. Not all of them were pleasant but life isn’t always what we want it to be. Some of the stories left me heartbroken. I wanted to reach out to those people and comfort them. Some of them made me so mad, some sad, some made me happy, and seeing that you still can have hope even in the worst situations was so good! Some of them made me confused, of not knowing what to think... You could feel the realness of the stories in your bones because if they're not your story, they can be your neighbor’s or friend’s… All in all. loved it and hope you enjoy it as well!
Craigslist Confession contains very short stories and they all actually did happen. I don’t think if I read a true story before, so this was a very good experience. Not all of them were pleasant but life isn’t always what we want it to be. Some of the stories left me heartbroken. I wanted to reach out to those people and comfort them. Some of them made me so mad, some sad, some made me happy, and seeing that you still can have hope even in the worst situations was so good! Some of them made me confused, of not knowing what to think... You could feel the realness of the stories in your bones because if they're not your story, they can be your neighbor’s or friend’s… All in all. loved it and hope you enjoy it as well!
July 4, 2020
I received an advanced copy of this book from Net Galley and the publisher in return for an honest review. The release date for this book is 7 July 2020
I found most of the stories captured in this book to be quite compelling. Some of them dealt with very difficult topics and the author really captured the authenticity of the stories that were being told to her. I think it is extremely important for us to read things in the non-fiction genre that take us outside our realm of experience. . This is a very timely compilation of stories and a book I think most of society needs to read.
I found most of the stories captured in this book to be quite compelling. Some of them dealt with very difficult topics and the author really captured the authenticity of the stories that were being told to her. I think it is extremely important for us to read things in the non-fiction genre that take us outside our realm of experience. . This is a very timely compilation of stories and a book I think most of society needs to read.
Read
August 6, 2020Audiobook - 5+++ stars available on Scribd.
Story - ???
I am going to leave this unrated. I don't even know how i feel about these stories, they are depressing AF. Damn! i felt like i was reading someone's deepest, diary secrets without the juicy parts. It has all the trigger warnings, the problem is that, it is not fiction. I can take all of them in fiction when i know there will be a resolution somehow.
I kinda want the author to do a follow up with these guys, i want to know more about some of them, did they find peace? what happened to their families? did they find happiness? did they leave?
Anyhoo, it was depressing.
Story - ???
I am going to leave this unrated. I don't even know how i feel about these stories, they are depressing AF. Damn! i felt like i was reading someone's deepest, diary secrets without the juicy parts. It has all the trigger warnings, the problem is that, it is not fiction. I can take all of them in fiction when i know there will be a resolution somehow.
I kinda want the author to do a follow up with these guys, i want to know more about some of them, did they find peace? what happened to their families? did they find happiness? did they leave?
Anyhoo, it was depressing.
July 28, 2020
LOVED THIS! Helena Dea Bala was feeling completely unfulfilled and down about her career and life. After speaking to a homeless man, she was inspired to post an ad on Craigslist stating that she would listen to people's confessions, stories, problems, thoughts, etc... completely anonymously. With consent, she began to take notes on the conversations and record them for this book. I was completely enthralled with this book, and it made me feel lots of emotions. It was like peaking into another person's deepest, darkest secrets. Highly recommend on audio, as it was done by a full cast. I wouldn't mind a sequel with more stories/ confessions!
July 24, 2020
Audio – 5++++ Stars
Story – 5 Deeply Emotional Stars
Real talk…this book isn’t going to give you the warm and fuzzies. The fact that these are true stories labeled as anonymous confessionals should clue you in to that. I will admit that listening to the audio was depressing at times, and I questioned why the heck I couldn’t stop listening to it. All I could come up with is that there were so many bits and pieces of the different stories that I could relate too. Either through my own life experiences or that of someone I knew.
Each story is roughly 10 to 15 minutes long and some of the confessionals are triggering:
Cultural practices
Death
Domestic abuse
Drug addiction
Infidelity
Kinks
Mental illness & disorder
Prostitution
Racism
Religion
Sexual abuse
Sexual addiction
Sexuality
...and more.
While this book may not be for everyone, I have no regrets.
I highly recommend the audiobook.
Thank you to Nazanin and Karla. ❤❤❤❤ Your compelling reviews have me one-clicking and diving into this book!
Story – 5 Deeply Emotional Stars
Real talk…this book isn’t going to give you the warm and fuzzies. The fact that these are true stories labeled as anonymous confessionals should clue you in to that. I will admit that listening to the audio was depressing at times, and I questioned why the heck I couldn’t stop listening to it. All I could come up with is that there were so many bits and pieces of the different stories that I could relate too. Either through my own life experiences or that of someone I knew.
Each story is roughly 10 to 15 minutes long and some of the confessionals are triggering:
Cultural practices
Death
Domestic abuse
Drug addiction
Infidelity
Kinks
Mental illness & disorder
Prostitution
Racism
Religion
Sexual abuse
Sexual addiction
Sexuality
...and more.
While this book may not be for everyone, I have no regrets.
I highly recommend the audiobook.
Thank you to Nazanin and Karla. ❤❤❤❤ Your compelling reviews have me one-clicking and diving into this book!
August 15, 2020
5 Stars!
How do you rate a collection of stories told by complete strangers to another stranger? Well it's hard to. However, the way that Helena (the author) captured the stories and hand picked each one so that everyone who reads this can relate and feel some emotion towards at least one story in here is why it's rated so high.
The stories in this book are grouped into: Love, Regret, Loss, Identity and Family. Each one has their own unique story to tell and somewhere along the line, you can't help but want to reach out to most of these people and give them a giant hug. Some will relate to stories about motherhood, others about depression and maybe people will relate about addiction. It's real, it's raw but it's one of the most powerful books I've ever read. I know for a lot of people they have to read it in chunks because it's so emotional at times, but I binged this book in one sitting. I wanted to read about everyone's stories and continue to connect or empathize with everyone.
If I had to choose one story I related to in some ways (not all) would be Damon. I'm not going to give away specifics but he is in the Loss section and I've experienced similar feelings of depression, loneliness and lack of self worth. The way his life was saved was somewhat similar to a story of mine and I completely understood how he was feeling as he told his story. I think that's what I loved so much about this book, the connection that I could feel to a complete stranger's story without ever meeting them, seeing them or knowing them. I hope Damon continues to be happier in his life, like I am too.
This will easily be one of my top 5 books of 2020 and I will tell everyone to pick it up and read it. The author worked for years on this project and it shows. I know she had a lot more stories she listened to as well as her own. I sincerely hope she writes even more Craigslist Confessional books. I also had the opportunity to chat with the author and swap stories. She is an incredible human being and she has been a shoulder to lean on for strangers who she never knew before.
2020 has been a weird year, but if you want to feel connection outside of quarantine I think this would be a great book to pick up and devour. It's emotional and there are triggers - so be aware going in - but you won't regret it.
Thank you to Gallery Books for my copy of this book.
How do you rate a collection of stories told by complete strangers to another stranger? Well it's hard to. However, the way that Helena (the author) captured the stories and hand picked each one so that everyone who reads this can relate and feel some emotion towards at least one story in here is why it's rated so high.
The stories in this book are grouped into: Love, Regret, Loss, Identity and Family. Each one has their own unique story to tell and somewhere along the line, you can't help but want to reach out to most of these people and give them a giant hug. Some will relate to stories about motherhood, others about depression and maybe people will relate about addiction. It's real, it's raw but it's one of the most powerful books I've ever read. I know for a lot of people they have to read it in chunks because it's so emotional at times, but I binged this book in one sitting. I wanted to read about everyone's stories and continue to connect or empathize with everyone.
If I had to choose one story I related to in some ways (not all) would be Damon. I'm not going to give away specifics but he is in the Loss section and I've experienced similar feelings of depression, loneliness and lack of self worth. The way his life was saved was somewhat similar to a story of mine and I completely understood how he was feeling as he told his story. I think that's what I loved so much about this book, the connection that I could feel to a complete stranger's story without ever meeting them, seeing them or knowing them. I hope Damon continues to be happier in his life, like I am too.
This will easily be one of my top 5 books of 2020 and I will tell everyone to pick it up and read it. The author worked for years on this project and it shows. I know she had a lot more stories she listened to as well as her own. I sincerely hope she writes even more Craigslist Confessional books. I also had the opportunity to chat with the author and swap stories. She is an incredible human being and she has been a shoulder to lean on for strangers who she never knew before.
2020 has been a weird year, but if you want to feel connection outside of quarantine I think this would be a great book to pick up and devour. It's emotional and there are triggers - so be aware going in - but you won't regret it.
Thank you to Gallery Books for my copy of this book.
July 22, 2020
5 amazing stars**
I don’t even know what to say after reading this book! It was so amazing, raw, vulnerable, heartbreaking, basically all the emotions you can think of I experienced. The way the author structure this stories was brilliant! She took the heart of each situation and considering the serious of each subject matter it was a feat, because some of this situations were so heartbreaking especially for ones I related to. Those were the ones that got to me that made me think, yea, that’s exactly how I felt. I’m gonna be thinking about this book for a long time.
Thank you, Nazanin joon! for another amazing rec you gave me. 💋💋💋
I don’t even know what to say after reading this book! It was so amazing, raw, vulnerable, heartbreaking, basically all the emotions you can think of I experienced. The way the author structure this stories was brilliant! She took the heart of each situation and considering the serious of each subject matter it was a feat, because some of this situations were so heartbreaking especially for ones I related to. Those were the ones that got to me that made me think, yea, that’s exactly how I felt. I’m gonna be thinking about this book for a long time.
Thank you, Nazanin joon! for another amazing rec you gave me. 💋💋💋
February 9, 2021
I definitely feel like I missed the point of this book. I feel as though there is some deeper message or theme that went right over my head because, though I hate to admit it, sometimes, I don't get things.
It is also possible that I am overthinking all of this and this is just a book.
Either way, I did enjoy this book. It was sad but hopeful. It was a perfect display of humanity. I was expecting to be shocked by stories of gore, drugs, and sex but instead, I was met with stories of regret, sadness but also joy and hope. (but also drugs and sex)
I felt like there was a perfect balance of sadness and joy and hope. I know this balance wasn't artificial because these are real stories and that's what I loved. I felt as though the stories within this book displayed how good humanity can be and how bad it can be.
I won't go into each story because I don't think that would be very constructive. It would just be me tossing in another opinion about someone's pain that I didn't experience. The world doesn't need that.
Overall, this book showed me the good and bad sides of humanity. It gave me some new perspectives. It reminded me of the progress I have made in my own life and the progress I have yet to make.
This book, like life, was chaotic with ups and down. But, in spite of the bumps, it is still worth it.
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It is also possible that I am overthinking all of this and this is just a book.
Either way, I did enjoy this book. It was sad but hopeful. It was a perfect display of humanity. I was expecting to be shocked by stories of gore, drugs, and sex but instead, I was met with stories of regret, sadness but also joy and hope. (but also drugs and sex)
I felt like there was a perfect balance of sadness and joy and hope. I know this balance wasn't artificial because these are real stories and that's what I loved. I felt as though the stories within this book displayed how good humanity can be and how bad it can be.
I won't go into each story because I don't think that would be very constructive. It would just be me tossing in another opinion about someone's pain that I didn't experience. The world doesn't need that.
Overall, this book showed me the good and bad sides of humanity. It gave me some new perspectives. It reminded me of the progress I have made in my own life and the progress I have yet to make.
This book, like life, was chaotic with ups and down. But, in spite of the bumps, it is still worth it.
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February 15, 2021This is a collection of experiences that are affirming and painful and vulnerable in their intimacy. They’re hopeful, too, though not always.
I am grateful that they have been shared. I am honoured to have heard them.
I don’t usually give star ratings to memoir/autobiographical works if I have mixed feelings, because I don’t feel like I’m in a position to render judgment on others’ experiences, nor do I wish to. And I don’t want a star rating to be conflated with judgment, quantification.
For this reason, I’m leaving Craigslist Confessional unrated.
Let me be clear, though—I take ZERO issue with the stories themselves. Rather, I’m a little ambivalent about the storytelling.
I found that sometimes the process of anonymization reduced a story to broad strokes. The resulting anecdote lacked the poignancy that, for me, comes with specificity and nuance. I understand, though, that the stories aren’t very long—around 10 minutes each, per my audiobook—which constrains the level of detail and nuance one can include.
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
In her moving introduction, the author writes:
For this reason—affirmation, validation, resonance—but also many more, this collection is infinitely important.
But for the same reason, I couldn’t quite connect to several of these stories. I’m thinking specifically of the many heartbreaking recounts of crumbling marriages, acrimonious divorces, affairs and cheating, and men lamenting wives’ lack of sex drive. (Maybe it’s selection bias making me feel like the majority of stories focused on these themes?)
For context, I’m in my early 20s, grew up in urban centres in Canada as the daughter of immigrants, and I have no plans to date, marry, or have children any time in the near future, though these are all milestones I cherish and celebrate. While I understood and sympathized with folks speaking about marital conflict et al., it would be dishonest for me to say that these experiences gave me hope or peace or perspective. Neither did they detract from me or make me jaded; I just… didn’t feel much connection.
I’m just not there yet, at a place where marital issues feel relevant to me. I might never be. (I’ll beat you to the punch and acknowledge that this may make me sound naive or privileged: but it’s how I feel currently. We’ll see where I am in a few years.)
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
Let’s end on a good note!! There were several stories in this collection that moved me. Highlights for me were:
➟ Federico, the undocumented immigrant who speaks of his abusive green-card marriage;
➟ Lucas, a Black man who went to prison at age 25 and was released at 40—he recounts both experiences, being in prison as well as the hardships of being a free man;
➟ Louise, a mother telling the story of Will, her son, who died and whose organs gave life to numerous people;
➟ David, a grandfather, who speaks about being a Black man in America—his heritage, history, and generational legacy, how these connect past with future;
➟ Justine, who wove the story of her parents—her spitfire mother, her kind father—and her fraught relationship with her mother.
BOTTOM LINE: Not every story resonated with me, but I don’t think total resonance was the point (nor is it realistic). Ultimately, Craigslist Confessional is cathartic and affirming in its compilation of some of the hardest moments of people’s lives.
I am grateful that they have been shared. I am honoured to have heard them.
I don’t usually give star ratings to memoir/autobiographical works if I have mixed feelings, because I don’t feel like I’m in a position to render judgment on others’ experiences, nor do I wish to. And I don’t want a star rating to be conflated with judgment, quantification.
For this reason, I’m leaving Craigslist Confessional unrated.
Let me be clear, though—I take ZERO issue with the stories themselves. Rather, I’m a little ambivalent about the storytelling.
I found that sometimes the process of anonymization reduced a story to broad strokes. The resulting anecdote lacked the poignancy that, for me, comes with specificity and nuance. I understand, though, that the stories aren’t very long—around 10 minutes each, per my audiobook—which constrains the level of detail and nuance one can include.
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
In her moving introduction, the author writes:
My wish... is that their stories will give you hope, perspective, and closure when you need it. I hope they’ll bring you peace and allow you to open your heart to others with burdens of their own.
For this reason—affirmation, validation, resonance—but also many more, this collection is infinitely important.
But for the same reason, I couldn’t quite connect to several of these stories. I’m thinking specifically of the many heartbreaking recounts of crumbling marriages, acrimonious divorces, affairs and cheating, and men lamenting wives’ lack of sex drive. (Maybe it’s selection bias making me feel like the majority of stories focused on these themes?)
For context, I’m in my early 20s, grew up in urban centres in Canada as the daughter of immigrants, and I have no plans to date, marry, or have children any time in the near future, though these are all milestones I cherish and celebrate. While I understood and sympathized with folks speaking about marital conflict et al., it would be dishonest for me to say that these experiences gave me hope or peace or perspective. Neither did they detract from me or make me jaded; I just… didn’t feel much connection.
I’m just not there yet, at a place where marital issues feel relevant to me. I might never be. (I’ll beat you to the punch and acknowledge that this may make me sound naive or privileged: but it’s how I feel currently. We’ll see where I am in a few years.)
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
Let’s end on a good note!! There were several stories in this collection that moved me. Highlights for me were:
➟ Federico, the undocumented immigrant who speaks of his abusive green-card marriage;
I have to believe that all our sacrifices will count for something—that my life in this country matters, that maybe my children will be able to chase their dreams because of their father.
➟ Lucas, a Black man who went to prison at age 25 and was released at 40—he recounts both experiences, being in prison as well as the hardships of being a free man;
It’s hard to believe that I’m a free man now. Because there’s a difference between free and freed.
➟ Louise, a mother telling the story of Will, her son, who died and whose organs gave life to numerous people;
People don’t know how to deal with that kind of grief—the grief of a parent who has lost a child. They say things like “God had a plan” and “It was his time to go”… People just don’t know better. And I don’t want them to know better. I want them to be spared having to know first hand.
➟ David, a grandfather, who speaks about being a Black man in America—his heritage, history, and generational legacy, how these connect past with future;
But [my grandfather’s] generation did this work without accolades or fanfare; they educated people. They challenged the establishment. They understood that it wasn’t enough to want fair; you had to get out there and make it fair.
➟ Justine, who wove the story of her parents—her spitfire mother, her kind father—and her fraught relationship with her mother.
She went out to drinks with a girlfriend one night and met my dad. The way she told it, it was one of the few times in her life that she found it unnecessary to scan the room for someone more interesting.
BOTTOM LINE: Not every story resonated with me, but I don’t think total resonance was the point (nor is it realistic). Ultimately, Craigslist Confessional is cathartic and affirming in its compilation of some of the hardest moments of people’s lives.
August 15, 2020
Ok. Strong opinion and unusual review coming your way.
I read over half of this book and normally don’t review DNFs. But I think this one needs it. I pushed to chapter 25 to be sure I was over halfway.
I hated this book. It’s not encouraging, helpful, or useful. I don’t trust the author when she says she didn’t plan for this to be a book. She quit her job to focus on this project and did so for two years and started writing the stories down. She is making money of the people who needed someone to talk to. And most of them need way more than that. If this book’s profits ALL went to mental health help for those in need or legal advocacy programs, I could find something redeeming about this book.
I don’t even know how it can help others who are struggling because the stories do not provide hope or help.
I simply can not understand the buzz around this book. Except we are a culture who enjoys watching others even when they are struggling and hurting.
I am not that person.
I read over half of this book and normally don’t review DNFs. But I think this one needs it. I pushed to chapter 25 to be sure I was over halfway.
I hated this book. It’s not encouraging, helpful, or useful. I don’t trust the author when she says she didn’t plan for this to be a book. She quit her job to focus on this project and did so for two years and started writing the stories down. She is making money of the people who needed someone to talk to. And most of them need way more than that. If this book’s profits ALL went to mental health help for those in need or legal advocacy programs, I could find something redeeming about this book.
I don’t even know how it can help others who are struggling because the stories do not provide hope or help.
I simply can not understand the buzz around this book. Except we are a culture who enjoys watching others even when they are struggling and hurting.
I am not that person.
July 10, 2020
WOW 🤩 I had no idea how badly I needed this book in my life. It’s raw and filled to the brim with vulnerability. Ok I’m not as eloquent as some you so bear with me here...the author, a former lobbyist in Washington, decides to place an Ad on Craigslist, offering to listen, anonymously & for free, to whatever the person felt they couldn’t tell anyone else. A way to unburden oneself. It took off, she was flooded with emails and Craigslist Confessional was born. There are 40 confessions in the book. This felt extremely intimate and a bit voyeuristic, being witness to people’s deepest & darkest secrets, many who are suffering with an awful lot of shame. Some of the secrets come from the following:
Drug Addiction
Alcoholism
Eating Disorders
Mental Illness
Sex Addiction
Prostitution
Hoarding
Miscarriages
Vets & PTSD
Sexual Abuse/Molestation
Sexual Assault
Domestic Violence
If you’re at all worried about triggers, please do some research as to the specifics. My list is just info off the top of my head. The book is extremely raw & human and I can’t recommend this experience enough. Audio narration is terrific, performed by a full cast of rockstars. Don’t miss this one! Especially if you’re craving something brutally honest & authentic.
Drug Addiction
Alcoholism
Eating Disorders
Mental Illness
Sex Addiction
Prostitution
Hoarding
Miscarriages
Vets & PTSD
Sexual Abuse/Molestation
Sexual Assault
Domestic Violence
If you’re at all worried about triggers, please do some research as to the specifics. My list is just info off the top of my head. The book is extremely raw & human and I can’t recommend this experience enough. Audio narration is terrific, performed by a full cast of rockstars. Don’t miss this one! Especially if you’re craving something brutally honest & authentic.
August 7, 2020
HELLO. YOU NEED THIS BOOK.
If I had to sum up my thoughts on this book with gifs (and I do because, I mean, duh), it would be these ones:
Have you ever read a book that instantly made you want to get to know the author? This book was that for me. Helena Dea Bala was working as a lobbyist in DC and feeling unfulfilled when one day she struck up a conversation with a homeless man who panhandled near her office. Talking to and sharing with this stranger made her feel connected and engaged in a way that she hadn't in a long time, and inspired her to post an ad on Craigslist promising to listen anonymously to whatever the speaker felt they couldn't tell anyone else. She got thousands of responses, and Craigslist Confessional was born.
It's difficult to describe how I feel about this book (composed of 40 individual's stories). Some of them broke my heart, many of them made me cry, some of them brought me bittersweet joy, several of them opened my eyes to different experiences, and a few of them I related to on a deeply personal level. This is an emotional powerhouse of a book and I'd be shocked if there isn't a story here that anyone could relate to, whether it be the specific issue/theme addressed or the more nuanced feelings and emotions confronted. The biggest takeaway that I've gotten from others I've spoken to who've read this book is that it serves to make everyone feel less alone in whatever they might be battling.
I want to note that this isn't a "happy ending" book. These stories are captured from a single conversation with these individuals who sought out the author and are focused on whatever they needed or wanted to share to unburden themselves, so we don't find out how their lives or situations turned out.
I also want to note that I've had the pleasure of speaking with Helena and she is not only a truly talented writer (she wrote each story from her notes in the individual person's voice), but she's a caring, empathetic, and compassionate person. Though she's never one to self-promote, a portion of the book's proceeds also being donated to charity. Additionally, all of the subjects included in the book consented to having their stories used and were fully vetted by the publisher.
If I had to sum up my thoughts on this book with gifs (and I do because, I mean, duh), it would be these ones:
Have you ever read a book that instantly made you want to get to know the author? This book was that for me. Helena Dea Bala was working as a lobbyist in DC and feeling unfulfilled when one day she struck up a conversation with a homeless man who panhandled near her office. Talking to and sharing with this stranger made her feel connected and engaged in a way that she hadn't in a long time, and inspired her to post an ad on Craigslist promising to listen anonymously to whatever the speaker felt they couldn't tell anyone else. She got thousands of responses, and Craigslist Confessional was born.
It's difficult to describe how I feel about this book (composed of 40 individual's stories). Some of them broke my heart, many of them made me cry, some of them brought me bittersweet joy, several of them opened my eyes to different experiences, and a few of them I related to on a deeply personal level. This is an emotional powerhouse of a book and I'd be shocked if there isn't a story here that anyone could relate to, whether it be the specific issue/theme addressed or the more nuanced feelings and emotions confronted. The biggest takeaway that I've gotten from others I've spoken to who've read this book is that it serves to make everyone feel less alone in whatever they might be battling.
I want to note that this isn't a "happy ending" book. These stories are captured from a single conversation with these individuals who sought out the author and are focused on whatever they needed or wanted to share to unburden themselves, so we don't find out how their lives or situations turned out.
I also want to note that I've had the pleasure of speaking with Helena and she is not only a truly talented writer (she wrote each story from her notes in the individual person's voice), but she's a caring, empathetic, and compassionate person. Though she's never one to self-promote, a portion of the book's proceeds also being donated to charity. Additionally, all of the subjects included in the book consented to having their stories used and were fully vetted by the publisher.
July 31, 2020
Review to come
September 25, 2020
This was pretty addicting to listen too!
I am glad that Helena Dea Bala decided to put this collection together. She decides to do take this journey after having a life changing circumstance with a homeless man.
I came across this book from multiple friends on Goodreads that reviewed this in the past. I was fascinated by the idea of the book because...
1. I love podcasts and listening to people being open about their lives. There's something liberating about that along with it being cathartic for the person.
2. I've always been fascinated by the secrets that people don't talk about, not even to best friends or spouses. I'm also guilty of this, so I think we all are to some extent. There's something scary about being completely open and vulnerable to someone else.
3. We live in a society that's hard to be completely open about past sins, desires or issues. Most things are kept hidden because of the judgement of people.
4. And just listening to these struggles and secrets makes you feel less alone.
You would have to listen to all the stories to understand this. They range from drug addiction, sexual preferences, mental issues to just coming out and saying that you are unhappy with your life. You didn't want to be a parent or you should never have cheated on your spouse.
Lots of great, sad and interesting stories from people in this collection!
I would suggest doing an audiobook if you can. It works because there is a different voice for most of the anonymous strangers in this collection. I'm sure reading this would also work but I thought the audio of this book was just great!
Definitely check this out if you like podcasts and looking into the secrets that most of us keep!
I am glad that Helena Dea Bala decided to put this collection together. She decides to do take this journey after having a life changing circumstance with a homeless man.
I came across this book from multiple friends on Goodreads that reviewed this in the past. I was fascinated by the idea of the book because...
1. I love podcasts and listening to people being open about their lives. There's something liberating about that along with it being cathartic for the person.
2. I've always been fascinated by the secrets that people don't talk about, not even to best friends or spouses. I'm also guilty of this, so I think we all are to some extent. There's something scary about being completely open and vulnerable to someone else.
3. We live in a society that's hard to be completely open about past sins, desires or issues. Most things are kept hidden because of the judgement of people.
4. And just listening to these struggles and secrets makes you feel less alone.
You would have to listen to all the stories to understand this. They range from drug addiction, sexual preferences, mental issues to just coming out and saying that you are unhappy with your life. You didn't want to be a parent or you should never have cheated on your spouse.
Lots of great, sad and interesting stories from people in this collection!
I would suggest doing an audiobook if you can. It works because there is a different voice for most of the anonymous strangers in this collection. I'm sure reading this would also work but I thought the audio of this book was just great!
Definitely check this out if you like podcasts and looking into the secrets that most of us keep!
July 15, 2020
Craiglist Confessional is a collection of anonymous stories from strangers. Helen Dea Bala was a Washington, DC lobbyist – just like many, had a life unfulfilled and drowning in student loans. A chance encounter with a homeless man who lent his ear to listen to Bala, changed everything and inspired her to start listening to others anonymously. An ad in Craigslist resulted in thousands of responses to share their stories, whom they could not tell anyone else – free of judgement, free of charge and freeing for their soul. The forty stories in the book are categorized into themes about love, regret, loss, identity and family. Each of the stories are gripping and absolutely riveting. The stories will resonate with you, some will warm your heart, and others gut wrenching – all are true and a book I am still thinking about long after.
Thank you author Helena Dea Bala for this amazing book now out in the world. I highly recommend this amazing book!
Thank you author Helena Dea Bala for this amazing book now out in the world. I highly recommend this amazing book!
July 30, 2020
I read the introduction and already knew. So I grabbed a box of Kleenex, a bottle of whiskey and settled in to pay close attention to these pages for the next few hours.
This is split into 5 categories: Love, Regret, Loss, Identity, and Family. And I found a little of myself in each of these categories. The author listened to a cornucopia of humans and it was hard to read some of these very human revelations. It's one thing to read these types of experiences in a fictionalized tale... it's completely a different feel when you know these are real people telling their own truths. I legit cried through a few of these and realize I could probably use a confessional myself. Don't we all have a story or two we keep close to the chest? My heart is a bit heavier now. The good part is that this makes me realize even more so to not be so quick to judge. That there is probably way more going on behind the scenes than we could ever imagine and showing some compassion is a kindness that is easy to dole out.
Some people might find this to be too somber of a read or want some kind of reconciliation at the end of each very personal story. But no one goes to confessionals to talk about all the good things going on. They're looking for a release for the things that are bothering them the most. And the author provided them an outlet and I think that's a remarkable thing.
This is split into 5 categories: Love, Regret, Loss, Identity, and Family. And I found a little of myself in each of these categories. The author listened to a cornucopia of humans and it was hard to read some of these very human revelations. It's one thing to read these types of experiences in a fictionalized tale... it's completely a different feel when you know these are real people telling their own truths. I legit cried through a few of these and realize I could probably use a confessional myself. Don't we all have a story or two we keep close to the chest? My heart is a bit heavier now. The good part is that this makes me realize even more so to not be so quick to judge. That there is probably way more going on behind the scenes than we could ever imagine and showing some compassion is a kindness that is easy to dole out.
Some people might find this to be too somber of a read or want some kind of reconciliation at the end of each very personal story. But no one goes to confessionals to talk about all the good things going on. They're looking for a release for the things that are bothering them the most. And the author provided them an outlet and I think that's a remarkable thing.
July 24, 2020
4.5 stars audio and story!
August 1, 2020
I loved this book, it was everything I thought it was going to be!
40 stories ranging from mental illness, sexual abuse, poverty, etc these stories were gripping and raw and so many of them I wanted to know so much more about. They broke my heart and I felt myself immersed in each story.
Short chapters and it’s broken down by category but it is heavy reading!
I hope there is a Craigslist Confessional part 2!
40 stories ranging from mental illness, sexual abuse, poverty, etc these stories were gripping and raw and so many of them I wanted to know so much more about. They broke my heart and I felt myself immersed in each story.
Short chapters and it’s broken down by category but it is heavy reading!
I hope there is a Craigslist Confessional part 2!
July 7, 2020
Craigslist Confessional
There are a few big moments in my life when I’ve been reminded how much pain people carry around with them. I see people get angry on the road, yelling at a complete stranger on the street and crying in the checkout lines at a grocery store and I wonder what’s going on that has them in this state. Its easy to be annoyed and impatient but when we stop and think that maybe this person is struggling, we can take the opportunity to maybe lend a hand or smile when someone really needs it.
When I was growing my hair back after chemotherapy, I was stopped a few times in public and told that it was so refreshing to see a buzz cut on a middle-aged woman. Little did they know that I was trying to grow my hair back. One of the side effects of my treatment was damage to my tear ducts. Tears would constantly spill from my eyes. Even when I was having good days it looked like I was miserable. A reminder that the inside and outside of ourselves are often at odds.
In this digital age, we have so many ways to connect but its important to remember that true connection comes from being ourselves. Sharing ourselves and being vulnerable is extremely hard. We open ourselves to criticism but we also open ourselves to healing.
Craigslist Confessional reinforced my desire to connect and be understood but more importantly reminded me to LISTEN. There is so much value in just listening and being present for a friend, family member or even a stranger. I’m so grateful to have a space where I feel heard and understood. I hope I can do the same for all of you.
Thank you @helenadeabala and @gallerybooks for a book that will surely remain a favorite for years to come. This book is available July 7th. Make sure you take your time and give yourself time to process each story. These are not easy stories to read but they are so valuable.
There are a few big moments in my life when I’ve been reminded how much pain people carry around with them. I see people get angry on the road, yelling at a complete stranger on the street and crying in the checkout lines at a grocery store and I wonder what’s going on that has them in this state. Its easy to be annoyed and impatient but when we stop and think that maybe this person is struggling, we can take the opportunity to maybe lend a hand or smile when someone really needs it.
When I was growing my hair back after chemotherapy, I was stopped a few times in public and told that it was so refreshing to see a buzz cut on a middle-aged woman. Little did they know that I was trying to grow my hair back. One of the side effects of my treatment was damage to my tear ducts. Tears would constantly spill from my eyes. Even when I was having good days it looked like I was miserable. A reminder that the inside and outside of ourselves are often at odds.
In this digital age, we have so many ways to connect but its important to remember that true connection comes from being ourselves. Sharing ourselves and being vulnerable is extremely hard. We open ourselves to criticism but we also open ourselves to healing.
Craigslist Confessional reinforced my desire to connect and be understood but more importantly reminded me to LISTEN. There is so much value in just listening and being present for a friend, family member or even a stranger. I’m so grateful to have a space where I feel heard and understood. I hope I can do the same for all of you.
Thank you @helenadeabala and @gallerybooks for a book that will surely remain a favorite for years to come. This book is available July 7th. Make sure you take your time and give yourself time to process each story. These are not easy stories to read but they are so valuable.
May 2, 2020
If you could share a powerful, forbidden secret with a complete stranger with no fear of reprisal. . . would you? And if many, many people share secrets so big, so huge, what might those stories look like? Well this book is exactly that. A confessional.
I ate this book up like candy! It is incredible how powerful an admission is, knowing you won't be found out. I think Bala had an incredibly unique idea, to post an ad on Craigslist, allowing anyone who would want to contact her. Some people truly just need someone that will listen to them.
This was a book unlike one I've ever read.. and if you'd like a completely different reading experience, than this is for you!
I ate this book up like candy! It is incredible how powerful an admission is, knowing you won't be found out. I think Bala had an incredibly unique idea, to post an ad on Craigslist, allowing anyone who would want to contact her. Some people truly just need someone that will listen to them.
This was a book unlike one I've ever read.. and if you'd like a completely different reading experience, than this is for you!
January 31, 2020
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This book caught my attention pretty quickly and the author's 'project" intrigued me but I was hesitant to get it. I was expecting a lot of fairly shallow stories but I was pleasantly surprised to read some very deep, sad stories. Occasionally there was a pretty shallow story but overall, there was real depth to people's experiences. I can't imagine how hard it was for the author to hear sad story after sad story. And of course I feel it takes real courage for a lot of people to tell their deepest feelings to a stranger who really can't offer them much in return besides a listening ear. Sometimes that's all the therapy one needs to process their situation or experiences.
This book caught my attention pretty quickly and the author's 'project" intrigued me but I was hesitant to get it. I was expecting a lot of fairly shallow stories but I was pleasantly surprised to read some very deep, sad stories. Occasionally there was a pretty shallow story but overall, there was real depth to people's experiences. I can't imagine how hard it was for the author to hear sad story after sad story. And of course I feel it takes real courage for a lot of people to tell their deepest feelings to a stranger who really can't offer them much in return besides a listening ear. Sometimes that's all the therapy one needs to process their situation or experiences.
April 19, 2020
If you enjoy Post Secret and Humans of New York you will love this. This book albeit depressing was an entertaining view into a forty different peoples lives and their lifechanging incidents broke into 5 sections. Since the sections are so short it's hard to "disappear" into the book..
October 2, 2020
Craigslist Confessional made me weep, grieve, remember, and ache for all of the heartbreak, trauma and understanding that life is just damn hard. The overarching theme of “you’re never alone” has never rang more true.
May 1, 2020
*ARC provided via #netgalley
I’ve always been a huge fan of the “Post Secret” website and book collection, and this book reminded me so much of that, yet it also brought a deeper sense of commiseration for me as a reader.
Unlike the brief secrets that are mailed in, the author collected her stories after placing an ad on Craigslist, first receiving them by email and then bravely meeting the subjects in person. Over time, she realizes that she has become a sort of therapist for these strangers, and she can often see the weight being lifted from them after they have unburdened themselves.
While there are some positive stories within, many of these confessions deal with heavy subject matter including abuse, rape, SIDS, homophobia and bigotry, so a trigger warning is in effect for those readers who are sensitive to these topics. My heart often broke for many of the people Helena talks with, and I commend them for their strength in speaking their truth. I saw myself in a certain number of these strangers, and it was reassuring to know that I am not alone in my feelings or experiences.
I enjoyed the way the book was set up, as it felt like you were sitting across from these people just like the author was. Helena makes it a point to transcribe the conversation exactly as it was told to her, so that it came across as real as it is. As disturbing as some of these confessions were, I do hope the author has more material for a second installment.
February 10, 2021
Not sure what I expected, but this was a very dark and heavy book-a lot of pain shared in these stories. It did feel a little more weighted in stories that centered around addiction and mental illness. Not sure I'd recommend as book to read at this moment, but the stories were compelling.
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