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They Said This Would Be Fun: Race, Campus Life, and Growing Up
NATIONAL BESTSELLERA powerful, moving memoir about what it's like to be a student of colour on a predominantly white campus.A booksmart kid from Toronto, Eternity Martis was excited to move away to Western University for her undergraduate degree. But as one of the few Black students there, she soon discovered that the campus experiences she'd seen in movies were far more complex in reality. Over the next four years, Eternity learned more about what someone like her brought out in other people than she did about herself. She was confronted by white students in blackface at parties, dealt with being the only person of colour in class and was tokenized by her romantic partners. She heard racial slurs in bars, on the street, and during lectures. And she gathered labels she never asked Abuse survivor. Token. Bad feminist. But, by graduation, she found an unshakeable sense of self--and a support network of other women of colour.Using her award-winning reporting skills, Eternity connects her own experience to the systemic issues plaguing students today. It's a memoir of pain, but also resilience.
256 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 31, 2020
91 people are currently reading
5806 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 417 reviews
March 1, 2023
this book…hit me right where it hurts, but it also healed me?? it’s an incredible feeling to read about someone else’s life and have your own experiences, thoughts, and feelings validated. this book transformed me and i’m so glad i read it when i did. holy shit. a new favorite. a must read for everyone.
February 23, 2021
From the ages of eighteen to twenty-two, I learned more about what someone like me brought out in other people than about who I was. I didn’t even get a chance to know myself before I had to fight for myself.
i cried reading this book. i felt so seen.
September 17, 2020
They Said This Would Be Fun is my first nonfiction book about being Black in Canada. I’ve read a few books that centered around the American experience, so when I discovered They Said This Would Be Fun I knew I had to read it.
The first thing I’ll say is that, spoiler alert, the Canadian experience of being Black is not any better than the American experience.
I connected with Martis immediately simply because I was attending university at the same time she was. I also almost went to Western, but ultimately decided to say closer to home for financial reasons. They Said This Would Be Fun focuses on Martis’ experience as a biracial woman in what is considered an alt-right stronghold in Canada. I was completely unaware of this, so this came as a shock. Martis’ anecdotes are disgusting and horrifying. Her experiences and the those of others she goes into detail about throughout They Said This Would Be Fun are no different than those we hear from The United States of America.
“It is a privilege to not worry about looking stupid or getting too drunk. It is a privilege to misbehave or engage in criminal acts in public, and have people see it as non-threatening that there’s no need to call the cops. It is a privilege to get a “slap on the wrist.” Meanwhile, young Black people are being stopped by police across North America for walking, sleeping, swimming, selling lemonade, going to class, picking up garbage. Killed for putting their hands in their pocks or for simply being in their home. For being “suspicious-looking,” White people can be suspects, they are hardly ever viewed as suspicious.”
Martis makes it glaringly obvious that Canada lacks stats concerning people of colour. There were too many instances where Martis is unable to compare how Canada is doing relative to The United States since Canada does not keep track of those specific statistics. How are we supposed to identify and address these problems if we can’t prove they exist?
Overall, Martis’ memoir about attending university in a city known for its whiteness is harrowing. Her strength and candor make They Said This Would Be Fun a must read. It often made me reflect on my own university experience and I realized how few negative experiences I endured. Sure, I faced my fair share of sexism, but never did I feel scared for my physical safety. Never did I think twice about the space I was in or the space I was entering.
The first thing I’ll say is that, spoiler alert, the Canadian experience of being Black is not any better than the American experience.
I connected with Martis immediately simply because I was attending university at the same time she was. I also almost went to Western, but ultimately decided to say closer to home for financial reasons. They Said This Would Be Fun focuses on Martis’ experience as a biracial woman in what is considered an alt-right stronghold in Canada. I was completely unaware of this, so this came as a shock. Martis’ anecdotes are disgusting and horrifying. Her experiences and the those of others she goes into detail about throughout They Said This Would Be Fun are no different than those we hear from The United States of America.
“It is a privilege to not worry about looking stupid or getting too drunk. It is a privilege to misbehave or engage in criminal acts in public, and have people see it as non-threatening that there’s no need to call the cops. It is a privilege to get a “slap on the wrist.” Meanwhile, young Black people are being stopped by police across North America for walking, sleeping, swimming, selling lemonade, going to class, picking up garbage. Killed for putting their hands in their pocks or for simply being in their home. For being “suspicious-looking,” White people can be suspects, they are hardly ever viewed as suspicious.”
Martis makes it glaringly obvious that Canada lacks stats concerning people of colour. There were too many instances where Martis is unable to compare how Canada is doing relative to The United States since Canada does not keep track of those specific statistics. How are we supposed to identify and address these problems if we can’t prove they exist?
Overall, Martis’ memoir about attending university in a city known for its whiteness is harrowing. Her strength and candor make They Said This Would Be Fun a must read. It often made me reflect on my own university experience and I realized how few negative experiences I endured. Sure, I faced my fair share of sexism, but never did I feel scared for my physical safety. Never did I think twice about the space I was in or the space I was entering.
March 4, 2021
Eternity was told she would have fun at Western - the quintessential Canadian party school. But what she experienced was anything but.
As a Canadian with connections to Western (I didn't attend, but friends and family did), this book really hit home. We, in Canada, are great at ignoring our race issues and feeling superior to America in terms of racism. But we are not immune. In fact, we have a long history (and present) of severe racism and oppression.
We also have serious issues with sexism and misogyny, of which I've experienced more than I care to remember. College is a dangerous time for many young women and can be a source of long-lasting trauma for those of us who make it through.
Eternity's raw and honest retelling of her experiences with racism, misogyny, and misogynoir as a mixed-race woman of colour at Western was eye-opening and infuriating. I was so angry and worried for her throughout. No one deserves to be treated as she was, and she is sadly not alone.
They Said This Would Be Fun is a poignant reminder that "for so long young people have been infantilized and shamed for talking about the things that affect us. We’re told we haven’t worked long enough, lived long enough, been through enough to have our own pain validated."
But I share Eternity's hope that "this book will be an urgent reminder that dismissing the experiences of young people today will have serious permanent implications for our entire society."
A must-read for my fellow Canadians with an ending that had me in tears, this book is well worth your time.
Hear me talk about my thoughts on this book while creating a spread for it in my reading journal here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45F0d...
Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, sexual harassment, misogyny, misogynoir, racism, blackface, gaslighting, domestic abuse
You can find me on...
Youtube | Instagram | Twitter
As a Canadian with connections to Western (I didn't attend, but friends and family did), this book really hit home. We, in Canada, are great at ignoring our race issues and feeling superior to America in terms of racism. But we are not immune. In fact, we have a long history (and present) of severe racism and oppression.
We also have serious issues with sexism and misogyny, of which I've experienced more than I care to remember. College is a dangerous time for many young women and can be a source of long-lasting trauma for those of us who make it through.
Eternity's raw and honest retelling of her experiences with racism, misogyny, and misogynoir as a mixed-race woman of colour at Western was eye-opening and infuriating. I was so angry and worried for her throughout. No one deserves to be treated as she was, and she is sadly not alone.
They Said This Would Be Fun is a poignant reminder that "for so long young people have been infantilized and shamed for talking about the things that affect us. We’re told we haven’t worked long enough, lived long enough, been through enough to have our own pain validated."
But I share Eternity's hope that "this book will be an urgent reminder that dismissing the experiences of young people today will have serious permanent implications for our entire society."
A must-read for my fellow Canadians with an ending that had me in tears, this book is well worth your time.
Hear me talk about my thoughts on this book while creating a spread for it in my reading journal here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45F0d...
Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, sexual harassment, misogyny, misogynoir, racism, blackface, gaslighting, domestic abuse
You can find me on...
Youtube | Instagram | Twitter
September 27, 2021
Eternity Martis left the multicultural streets of Toronto to attend the mostly white Western University and encounters the usual litany of micro-aggressions and racially motivated hostility. A bi-racial woman by way of an absent Jamaican father and a Pakistani mother, she is still perceived by the world as black. Despite growing up on curry, keema and nihari she is still expected to weigh in on behalf of Black people when slavery is brought up in class, is tokenized by men looking to go black, calling her Ebony, Ma or Chocolate, looked to for a pass to say the n-word from friends, endure blackface Halloween costumes, repel constant hair-touching requests and even face numerous incidents of outright hostility and a very real threat of violence.
And hell, that would have been meaty enough for this debut memoir but the title tag mentions race, campus life and growing up. There is her candid and unflinching look at her time as a victim of intimate partner violence. How despite lecturing younger girls about dating violence and recognizing red flags she finds herself blind to those same warning signs. That even as her abuser moved on, she still found herself wanting to reach out and connect again. And then to making the same mistakes with subsequent boyfriends, once again missing the clear signals.
It's an examination of rape culture still prevalent at university, of waving off indiscretions with a "boys will be boys" and dismissing bad behaviour as just "being dumb". The staggering figure that 1 in 5 women will experience some form of sexual assault while at university. That women under 25 experience the highest rate of sexual violence in Canada. That up to 50% of students across Canadian universities claim no one has ever educated them on how to report a sexual assault.
It's also about how friends can find themselves drifting apart as each seeks to find their own path. How your goals and vision of the future you dream for yourself can change as you progress through the years of post-secondary life. This isn't just a memoir, this is deeply personal, long-form reportage from the trenches of Canadian academia right now and an examination of university as a crucible for immense change and growth.
And hell, that would have been meaty enough for this debut memoir but the title tag mentions race, campus life and growing up. There is her candid and unflinching look at her time as a victim of intimate partner violence. How despite lecturing younger girls about dating violence and recognizing red flags she finds herself blind to those same warning signs. That even as her abuser moved on, she still found herself wanting to reach out and connect again. And then to making the same mistakes with subsequent boyfriends, once again missing the clear signals.
It's an examination of rape culture still prevalent at university, of waving off indiscretions with a "boys will be boys" and dismissing bad behaviour as just "being dumb". The staggering figure that 1 in 5 women will experience some form of sexual assault while at university. That women under 25 experience the highest rate of sexual violence in Canada. That up to 50% of students across Canadian universities claim no one has ever educated them on how to report a sexual assault.
It's also about how friends can find themselves drifting apart as each seeks to find their own path. How your goals and vision of the future you dream for yourself can change as you progress through the years of post-secondary life. This isn't just a memoir, this is deeply personal, long-form reportage from the trenches of Canadian academia right now and an examination of university as a crucible for immense change and growth.
July 19, 2020
A thoughtful memoir surrounding Martis' experiences and intersections as a mixed-race Black + South Asian woman, particularly detailing her time as an undergrad in Canada. It's also written in an accessible way, which I found particularly helpful considering how dark some of the events described are. There are many heavy and important topics covered, including sexual assault, partner abuse, and racism as experienced by the author herself, so make sure you're in the right headspace to dive into this one.
June 24, 2020
Brilliant collection of essays. One of my favourites this year.
I bought the book for my school library and will recommend it to senior students with the caveat that it’s a mature read & with trigger warnings. The book is about the university experience: sex, drugs, parties. (I learned a few things!) Other cautions include rape and abusive relationships.
It’s not PG, but it’s not graphic. I do think it’s an important book - especially in terms of race & intersectionality - for students to read before they leave home. It would be naive of me to think that the issues in the book are not happening in high school, too.
I also love how the last essay is an encouragement and inspiration for young Black women to WRITE:
“Our words are cutting, deep enough to slash through the pages and write it anew. So write and live your truth. Speak up, rage because the time for silence has passed.”
I bought the book for my school library and will recommend it to senior students with the caveat that it’s a mature read & with trigger warnings. The book is about the university experience: sex, drugs, parties. (I learned a few things!) Other cautions include rape and abusive relationships.
It’s not PG, but it’s not graphic. I do think it’s an important book - especially in terms of race & intersectionality - for students to read before they leave home. It would be naive of me to think that the issues in the book are not happening in high school, too.
I also love how the last essay is an encouragement and inspiration for young Black women to WRITE:
“Our words are cutting, deep enough to slash through the pages and write it anew. So write and live your truth. Speak up, rage because the time for silence has passed.”
August 31, 2021
I really enjoyed this book. I'd seen a few of my Goodreads friends had read it and it had been on my list for a while but I didn't realize the author went to Western and was there at the same time I was. I really enjoyed her writing style and it really made me reflect back on my own privileged university experience. I would highly recommend this book to anyone but especially to my friends who attended a Canadian University.
January 3, 2021
Maybe one of my favourite reads of 2020. The heavy moments in this book will stick with me.
October 6, 2021
don't take the 3 months it took me to read this as an indication I didn't enjoy it. That's on me being lazy and not finding time to listen to the audiobook (which I always prefer over physical copies for memoirs).
this book was spectacular. usually, memoirs feel very one-sided, me sitting and listening to you tell me your life story. This felt incredibly interactive, partially because of the way it's written, which in its audiobook format, feels almost like a conversation a friend or older sibling/cousin might have with you. It was also scarily relatable, especially for me as a female black student living in the same city and campus Eternity talks about, where despite the years between our times here, still feels eerily similar to how she described it. This book made me deeply reflective and made me feel validated in a way I never have before.
I'll definitely be thinking about this one for a long time. even if you don't find yourself relating to Eternity's experiences completely, please read it, it's an incredibly important story!
this book was spectacular. usually, memoirs feel very one-sided, me sitting and listening to you tell me your life story. This felt incredibly interactive, partially because of the way it's written, which in its audiobook format, feels almost like a conversation a friend or older sibling/cousin might have with you. It was also scarily relatable, especially for me as a female black student living in the same city and campus Eternity talks about, where despite the years between our times here, still feels eerily similar to how she described it. This book made me deeply reflective and made me feel validated in a way I never have before.
I'll definitely be thinking about this one for a long time. even if you don't find yourself relating to Eternity's experiences completely, please read it, it's an incredibly important story!
February 16, 2021
I appreciated the content of this book a lot, but did not enjoy at all the writing at all.
I think it's a great book for white folks to read, especially ones who aren't used to thinking about racism or the role they play in it. As well, I think anyone going into Uni would do well to read it, especially women, as the many of the uncomfortable experiences Eternity describes are common first year experiences. I really admired the openness of Eternity when discussing her life at Western, and her honesty and realness is what I appreciated most about the book.
That said, was it released in a rush? Several chapters' endings felt like an endless circling of the drain, and I had to go back a page or two because I was getting such strong sentence déjà vu. I found the ending to be boring and lacking articulation, and despite an attempt at a satisfying conclusion, it lacked pith and style. There are others things I didn't like about the book, but I've already been such a negative Nancy in this review.
All that said, I'm happy I read it, and I enjoyed some parts of it thoroughly. Also maybe I'm just grumpy and am being too harsh. I also don't know how Goodreads works really and maybe I'm being an asshole in this review
I think it's a great book for white folks to read, especially ones who aren't used to thinking about racism or the role they play in it. As well, I think anyone going into Uni would do well to read it, especially women, as the many of the uncomfortable experiences Eternity describes are common first year experiences. I really admired the openness of Eternity when discussing her life at Western, and her honesty and realness is what I appreciated most about the book.
That said, was it released in a rush? Several chapters' endings felt like an endless circling of the drain, and I had to go back a page or two because I was getting such strong sentence déjà vu. I found the ending to be boring and lacking articulation, and despite an attempt at a satisfying conclusion, it lacked pith and style. There are others things I didn't like about the book, but I've already been such a negative Nancy in this review.
All that said, I'm happy I read it, and I enjoyed some parts of it thoroughly. Also maybe I'm just grumpy and am being too harsh. I also don't know how Goodreads works really and maybe I'm being an asshole in this review
January 6, 2025
i loved how martis took the time to paint a nuanced, intersectional portrait of the racism she experienced while attending western university. it was especially interesting to see how her pakistani family members navigated race, as well as how other poc participated in anti-black racism.
doing my masters at western almost 10 years after martis, i can safely say that little has changed. despite this, i echoed her resistance to leave london by the end of it - there is something about the familiarity of a smaller city, the kindness between strangers that is lacking in places like toronto. it was truly the best and worst of times, worthwhile due to the lifelong friendships formed in those circumstances. its crazy how being in survival mode at the same time, in the same place can bond people for life. i wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, yet feel so tender towards the person i was before this experience.
i always tell people that my time in london felt like i was living in the twilight zone, in which i saw firsthand the unique racism white women use to oppress woc, as well as the ways institutional racism continues to be upheld. i’m glad this memoir exists, proof that it wasn’t all some weird fever dream. my experience is real and valid!!!! now lets see what i do with it!
doing my masters at western almost 10 years after martis, i can safely say that little has changed. despite this, i echoed her resistance to leave london by the end of it - there is something about the familiarity of a smaller city, the kindness between strangers that is lacking in places like toronto. it was truly the best and worst of times, worthwhile due to the lifelong friendships formed in those circumstances. its crazy how being in survival mode at the same time, in the same place can bond people for life. i wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, yet feel so tender towards the person i was before this experience.
i always tell people that my time in london felt like i was living in the twilight zone, in which i saw firsthand the unique racism white women use to oppress woc, as well as the ways institutional racism continues to be upheld. i’m glad this memoir exists, proof that it wasn’t all some weird fever dream. my experience is real and valid!!!! now lets see what i do with it!
March 18, 2021
I shy away from rating books a full, complete, whole 5 out of 5 stars. The only golden review I'd confidently share with the internet is the Men's button-down section in Value Village. 10 outta 10 would recommend. Every time. Never fails.
But this book is amazing. It gives both information and insight to the racist landscape of university campus that I was almost completely naive to. She describes small acts that are sadly familiar, usually overlooked, and brushed off with an eye roll, that Eternity shows us is racism, sexism, and discrimination. She paints such a vivid picture that the reader cannot help but be moved. It's essential reading, and that warrants a minimum of 5 out of 5 stars.
-"It is a privilege not to worry about looking stupid or getting too drunk. It is a privilege to misbehave or engage in criminal acts in public, and have people see it as so non-threatening that there's not need to call the cops" (p. 127)
-"And this is for coloured girls who have considered suicide, but are moving to the ends of their own rainbows"
But this book is amazing. It gives both information and insight to the racist landscape of university campus that I was almost completely naive to. She describes small acts that are sadly familiar, usually overlooked, and brushed off with an eye roll, that Eternity shows us is racism, sexism, and discrimination. She paints such a vivid picture that the reader cannot help but be moved. It's essential reading, and that warrants a minimum of 5 out of 5 stars.
-"It is a privilege not to worry about looking stupid or getting too drunk. It is a privilege to misbehave or engage in criminal acts in public, and have people see it as so non-threatening that there's not need to call the cops" (p. 127)
-"And this is for coloured girls who have considered suicide, but are moving to the ends of their own rainbows"
April 1, 2020
Eternity Martis has written a great memoir that can provide a gut punch to your stomach and a hearty laugh all in the same chapter.
Graduating from Western, reading about things I was familiar with — Jack’s being a questionable clubbing spot, Taylor library, the craziness of O-Week — was very neat. But even without these details, Martis’ story comes alive. There’s heavy topics like anti-black racism, inter-partner violence or rape culture. They’re examined in an honest and frank way.
At its core, They Said This Would Be Fun is a coming of age story — with learning how to party, coming into your own, dating. It’s beautifully written and engaging. I definitely recommend.
Graduating from Western, reading about things I was familiar with — Jack’s being a questionable clubbing spot, Taylor library, the craziness of O-Week — was very neat. But even without these details, Martis’ story comes alive. There’s heavy topics like anti-black racism, inter-partner violence or rape culture. They’re examined in an honest and frank way.
At its core, They Said This Would Be Fun is a coming of age story — with learning how to party, coming into your own, dating. It’s beautifully written and engaging. I definitely recommend.
January 29, 2021
This was a very refreshing read. As someone who had the privilege of going to post secondary school in Toronto (which is much more diverse than Western, but also not perfect) reading about Eternity's experiences at Western was shocking and very upsetting. No one should feel isolated and alone during one of the most formative years of their lives. I feel like this book tied in the perfect amount of biography as well as the perfect amount of information to back up Eternity's experiences and feelings. Although Ryerson itself is in no way a perfect school, I feel lucky to be surrounded by diverse friends and community members who make my uni life pleasant (sometimes.) Shoutout to Ryerson Reads for sending me a copy of this book and making "They Said This Would Be Fun" the first ever contender for the Ryerson Reads program! I truly enjoyed every minute of this book!
March 9, 2021
They Said This Would Be Fun is a harrowing example of racism in Canada, often where it is ignored. Attending the same university as Martis, the campus seems multicultural. However, reading her experiences and seeing the horrors people and society have poured on her has made this a must read for any university student to see campus culture in a new way for advocation, as well as a push for change in Canada.
February 15, 2025
I always felt that we were better and “less racist” in Canada than in the U.S. therefore it was quite shocking to read that this was the experience of a black woman during college in 2010 in London, Ontario. I appreciated reading her story and it helped me understand her experience, however I felt the author could have been more nuanced per moments.
April 4, 2021
3.5 stars. Though I didn't go to Western, I went to a predominantly white university (Queen's) and could understand Eternity's experience from that perspective. I, as a white woman, was of course not subject to racism in school and because of that didn't 'connect' with chapters focusing on those matters. I wonder, though, if I was choosing to distance myself from her experience as a BIPOC student because it made me uncomfortable - and was I feeling discomfort because I saw behaviours she denounced in myself? I did 'connect' with the chapters on sexual assault on campus - I shared some of her sentiments (e.g. how terrifying it is to walk home alone from the library at night, how I'd have a friend I knew was awake late that I could always call as a safety blanket when I was in those situations). As we discussed at book club, I think this would be a great read for young adults - those heading to school for the first time, or who are already there - and white men who need to understand the implications of their behaviours.
Some things that stuck with me:
"When white people get wasted in public or do drugs, they're having fun or finding themselves. Or, they're poor souls from a good family who deserve sympathy and redemption. When Black people do it, they're criminals who deserve to do hard time."
"Nearly 90% of women who are raped in university and college are raped by someone they know."
"Society calls Black women bitter for expressing rage over social, political, economic, reproductive, and gender discrimination, but celebrates white women's rage as iconic and inspiring."
Some things that stuck with me:
"When white people get wasted in public or do drugs, they're having fun or finding themselves. Or, they're poor souls from a good family who deserve sympathy and redemption. When Black people do it, they're criminals who deserve to do hard time."
"Nearly 90% of women who are raped in university and college are raped by someone they know."
"Society calls Black women bitter for expressing rage over social, political, economic, reproductive, and gender discrimination, but celebrates white women's rage as iconic and inspiring."
August 4, 2020
Eternity Martis attended Western at the same time as me, which made reading this all the more necessary. She does a brilliant job in weaving her personal experiences within a broader societal and political context. A must read, but especially for those who feel racism doesn't exist on Canadian university campuses, and for those dismissive of the experiences of young Black women.
April 20, 2021
“You’re basically as invisible as you are hypervisible.”
Eternity Martis writes of her university experience at Western in London, ON while peppering in facts of mirroring stories on campuses across Canada; and having attended Queens University in Kingston I could see the similarities easily. The race and rape cultures on these campuses are prevalent to this day. These stories aren’t from 10 or 20 years ago, they are recent, they have not let up, and the schools continue to dismiss them. While I resonated with so much of what she discussed (nightly drinking and bar hopping, the walk of shame, the horrible annual halloween costume choosing, and the anxious balance of rejecting guys’ advances at the bar without leading them on but without making them too mad at you), I couldn’t imagine having to face that on top of being a Black woman in a predominantly white town/campus being scrutinized at every turn.
Eternity sheds light on how white college girls can laugh in groups on campus with abandon, but that any laughing groups of Black students are considered a threat. So much so that these students, in self-preservation, separate themselves from each other. She speaks of other Black students who would not make eye contact with her when she smiled at them on the street, so as not to pose a threat to the White campus ecosystem. She talks about the extremes of being blatantly attacked or threatened as well as being sexually fetishized. She reminds us that popular phrases and accolades like “Once you go Black you never go back” or “You’re the first Black person I’ve ever ———“ are not now and never were compliments. They dehumanize the receivers of said comments and reduce them to an experience to be had.
There is also a lot of light shed on rape culture on these campuses, but also on intimate partner violence as a whole. How we usually discuss IPV as it pertains to violated children or to married women but that there is a large gap in acknowledging the vulnerable young women aged 18-25 in abusive relationships, and how they are slipping through the cracks. She mentions articles she wrote on the topic and I’m interested to find them and read about her research and interviews.
Eternity Martis touches on some important campus life topics across any Canadian university and I think it would be eye opening for some people to read this memoir for a peek into the culture of these campuses. Furthermore these topics warrant serious social research with a need for implementing actual change.
Eternity Martis writes of her university experience at Western in London, ON while peppering in facts of mirroring stories on campuses across Canada; and having attended Queens University in Kingston I could see the similarities easily. The race and rape cultures on these campuses are prevalent to this day. These stories aren’t from 10 or 20 years ago, they are recent, they have not let up, and the schools continue to dismiss them. While I resonated with so much of what she discussed (nightly drinking and bar hopping, the walk of shame, the horrible annual halloween costume choosing, and the anxious balance of rejecting guys’ advances at the bar without leading them on but without making them too mad at you), I couldn’t imagine having to face that on top of being a Black woman in a predominantly white town/campus being scrutinized at every turn.
Eternity sheds light on how white college girls can laugh in groups on campus with abandon, but that any laughing groups of Black students are considered a threat. So much so that these students, in self-preservation, separate themselves from each other. She speaks of other Black students who would not make eye contact with her when she smiled at them on the street, so as not to pose a threat to the White campus ecosystem. She talks about the extremes of being blatantly attacked or threatened as well as being sexually fetishized. She reminds us that popular phrases and accolades like “Once you go Black you never go back” or “You’re the first Black person I’ve ever ———“ are not now and never were compliments. They dehumanize the receivers of said comments and reduce them to an experience to be had.
There is also a lot of light shed on rape culture on these campuses, but also on intimate partner violence as a whole. How we usually discuss IPV as it pertains to violated children or to married women but that there is a large gap in acknowledging the vulnerable young women aged 18-25 in abusive relationships, and how they are slipping through the cracks. She mentions articles she wrote on the topic and I’m interested to find them and read about her research and interviews.
Eternity Martis touches on some important campus life topics across any Canadian university and I think it would be eye opening for some people to read this memoir for a peek into the culture of these campuses. Furthermore these topics warrant serious social research with a need for implementing actual change.
July 27, 2020
Written through the eyes of a Black student attending Western around the same time I was in undergrad, I found this book incredibly humbling to realize the privilege many people including myself hold attending these institutions as a white person. While discussing her experience with racism and othering at the school, she also delves into the complex issues of being female at these institutions and the impact is has on our confidence and well-being. Loved this book and I couldn’t recommend it enough.
February 6, 2025
The most compelling parts were when she spoke about her personal experiences - very interesting to read a memoir of a “normal” person that occupied many of the same places as myself, with a wildly different experiences.
Struggled to find a lot of value in the more essay-based parts, which felt somewhat generic discussions about important topics. Felt like her specific voice and perspective got lost in those pieces.
Struggled to find a lot of value in the more essay-based parts, which felt somewhat generic discussions about important topics. Felt like her specific voice and perspective got lost in those pieces.
March 26, 2021
Eternity Martis' memoir They Said This Would be Fun gives a look into Martis' experience as a Black student on a predominantly white campus. Not only is the writing style incredible, but Martis breaks down her experiences in an accessible way, making it an essential read. Martis addresses serious topics including assault, healthy relationships and racism while finding a way to intertwine her sense of humor. As a higher education professional this was an important read that I hope to bring into my professional life.
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July 27, 2020Am I the only person who wasn’t over-the-moon loving this book? I’ll admit I got it for the title, They said this would be fun
I see what Martis is trying to do – writing three books and (my objection) jamming them into one book. It’s rather as if her editor said, “Well, Eternity you’ve got lots of stuff here but I don’t think we can hope to sell three titles. Let’s consolidate. “
First is the personal memoir – Eternity Martis is a black/south east Asian girl from Toronto. – as she says, the first in her family to be born out of wedlock and the first to go to university. She decided to go to Western University in London ON because it is known as a party school. At home in Toronto black people were not a novelty but in London she found herself part of a visible minority. She is writing a memoir of her university days (although between parties, boy friends, drinking, I continue to be amazed at how she earned a degree, let alone got into the Masters program at Ryerson) She writes with spirit, her dialogue is convincing. Some bits are hilarious, for instance when she waits for a taxi early in the morning iin the lobby of her boyfriend's rather ritzy condo.
Second book: at the end of each chapter is a page of advice -- For instance “The Token Gym Rat” -- what to expect and how to deal with it. Some are totally incongruous – at the end of what she calls her Italian Greek Tragedy (an Italian boyfriend) is ‘The Token in the Residence Bathroom’.
Thirdly, we get to what I can only refer to as the didactic passages about feminism, race and victimization, facts and figures. Sometimes we find these bits at the end of the chapter, sometimes tucked into the memoir. These read like a magazine article about blacks in a mainly white society.
If she had just restricted herself to the memoir I’d be praising her to the skies; for such a young person she does a remarkable job of observation and analyzing her own behaviour. Perhaps if I was closer to her age and situation I could accept the structure more, but as it is I wish she had restricted herself to memoir with perhaps some contemplation on race and feminism as appropriate.
I see what Martis is trying to do – writing three books and (my objection) jamming them into one book. It’s rather as if her editor said, “Well, Eternity you’ve got lots of stuff here but I don’t think we can hope to sell three titles. Let’s consolidate. “
First is the personal memoir – Eternity Martis is a black/south east Asian girl from Toronto. – as she says, the first in her family to be born out of wedlock and the first to go to university. She decided to go to Western University in London ON because it is known as a party school. At home in Toronto black people were not a novelty but in London she found herself part of a visible minority. She is writing a memoir of her university days (although between parties, boy friends, drinking, I continue to be amazed at how she earned a degree, let alone got into the Masters program at Ryerson) She writes with spirit, her dialogue is convincing. Some bits are hilarious, for instance when she waits for a taxi early in the morning iin the lobby of her boyfriend's rather ritzy condo.
Second book: at the end of each chapter is a page of advice -- For instance “The Token Gym Rat” -- what to expect and how to deal with it. Some are totally incongruous – at the end of what she calls her Italian Greek Tragedy (an Italian boyfriend) is ‘The Token in the Residence Bathroom’.
Thirdly, we get to what I can only refer to as the didactic passages about feminism, race and victimization, facts and figures. Sometimes we find these bits at the end of the chapter, sometimes tucked into the memoir. These read like a magazine article about blacks in a mainly white society.
If she had just restricted herself to the memoir I’d be praising her to the skies; for such a young person she does a remarkable job of observation and analyzing her own behaviour. Perhaps if I was closer to her age and situation I could accept the structure more, but as it is I wish she had restricted herself to memoir with perhaps some contemplation on race and feminism as appropriate.
February 13, 2021
“Under the guise of multiculturalism, we’ve conveniently forgotten Canada’s contributions to racism. Colionalism and genocide agaianst Indigenous communities; 200 years of slavery; police and state violence against marginalized people; the removal of Black and Indigenous children from homes; the endless and continuous cases of missing and murdered Indigenous women, girls and two spirit people.”
In this memoir, Martis details her experience at Western University in London, Ontario and recounts stories of racism, micro-aggressions and abuse on and off Campus. For every troubling issue highlighted or personal story told by Martis, she would follow it up with further examples and similar stories in campuses and cities all across Canada as well as the U.S.
Martis touches on a lot in this memoir, some of the areas that stood out to me include:
- The almost tradition-like activity of white kids dawning Black face for Halloween parties on campus
- The fact that Canada doesn’t collect race-based data which makes it hard to report on certain incidents or acknowledge that there is even a problem
- Examples of police being called on Black people for just existing in spaces: campus, coffee shops etc
- Black women not fitting the perfect victim narrative. Viewed as strong and resilient and as a result, taken less seriously when reporting interpartner violence or assault crimes.
- Hypersexualization of Black women in life and the media.
- Rape culture and violence against Black women.
Martis would end each section with some sarcastic humour which I really appreciated. She called it “The Necessary Survival Guide for Token Students” in which she would list little tips of advice on how to deal with awkward situations you might find yourself in as a BIPOC. Whether it’s as the token Black friend or student.
This is a thoughtful and vivid memoir about one woman's experience as a Black Canadian that excellently combines personal storytelling with the broader societal issues at hand. I loved it. I consumed it, and I think it’s a necessary read for everyone.
In this memoir, Martis details her experience at Western University in London, Ontario and recounts stories of racism, micro-aggressions and abuse on and off Campus. For every troubling issue highlighted or personal story told by Martis, she would follow it up with further examples and similar stories in campuses and cities all across Canada as well as the U.S.
Martis touches on a lot in this memoir, some of the areas that stood out to me include:
- The almost tradition-like activity of white kids dawning Black face for Halloween parties on campus
- The fact that Canada doesn’t collect race-based data which makes it hard to report on certain incidents or acknowledge that there is even a problem
- Examples of police being called on Black people for just existing in spaces: campus, coffee shops etc
- Black women not fitting the perfect victim narrative. Viewed as strong and resilient and as a result, taken less seriously when reporting interpartner violence or assault crimes.
- Hypersexualization of Black women in life and the media.
- Rape culture and violence against Black women.
Martis would end each section with some sarcastic humour which I really appreciated. She called it “The Necessary Survival Guide for Token Students” in which she would list little tips of advice on how to deal with awkward situations you might find yourself in as a BIPOC. Whether it’s as the token Black friend or student.
This is a thoughtful and vivid memoir about one woman's experience as a Black Canadian that excellently combines personal storytelling with the broader societal issues at hand. I loved it. I consumed it, and I think it’s a necessary read for everyone.
June 6, 2020
"Pople of colour know they don't have the luxury of blaming alcohol for acting foolish at a bar. We know that our bodies and our behavior is always being policed. We don't get an automatic welcome to the party, we are constantly having to prove that we deserve an invitation. Even then we know it can be revoked at the first slip up. For many of us, the misinformed message of respectability---trying to show that we aren't a stereotype and that our values and currency are on par with white people's--- is reiterated by our parents, churches, and communities. If we achieve this, we are told, we will be welcomed by white people. If we act more like them, we will get half as far. Being respectable means that as a child and a young adult, acting foolish isn't an option. We must act right, talk right, keep ourselves grounded, even as our white counterparts dance on a bar, or jump up in the air and push each other during their favourite EDM song like they're in a mosh pit. We know that one wrong move will undo do all our hard work. One wrong move could be labelled "suspicious." It can get us taken down by bouncers. It could get us arrested, or tasered. It could get us killed."
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Thoughts~
Martis has written a smart, relevant, moving memoir. She writes of her experiences being a mixed-race Black female student at a predominantly white University. She shares about racism, sexual assault, and rape culture in Canadian College/Universities. This was tough reading at times, my heart ached. As a white female this book gave me so much insight into what POC go through everyday. Thank you Eternity Martis for writing this book, for sharing your stories. A great read for anyone in post secondary education, but even more so a necessary read for white readers. I highly reccomend this book, absolutely essential reading!
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Thank You to the publisher for sending me this book opinions are my own.
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For more of my book content check out @bookalong
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Thoughts~
Martis has written a smart, relevant, moving memoir. She writes of her experiences being a mixed-race Black female student at a predominantly white University. She shares about racism, sexual assault, and rape culture in Canadian College/Universities. This was tough reading at times, my heart ached. As a white female this book gave me so much insight into what POC go through everyday. Thank you Eternity Martis for writing this book, for sharing your stories. A great read for anyone in post secondary education, but even more so a necessary read for white readers. I highly reccomend this book, absolutely essential reading!
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Thank You to the publisher for sending me this book opinions are my own.
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For more of my book content check out @bookalong
January 18, 2021
This was an eye opener for a reader who thought she already had her eyes opened. Eternity Martis details, in words of one syllable for those who need it, her experiences as a young woman of colour. This is essential reading for anyone who has a teenaged daughter or granddaughter, full stop.
When white people behave badly, it's an individual trait. When people of colour misbehave, it's a problem with the entire race.
When white people get wasted in public or do drugs, they're having fun or finding themselves. Or, they're poor souls from a good family who deserve sympathy and redemption. When Black people do it, they're criminals who deserve to do hard time.This first-person account of being Black and female at Western University in London, Ontario, Canada was one of the most painful and educational books I've ever read. The author shares her personal growth and academic (as well as self-) education with a powerful combination of humour and anger; the last chapter is harrowing and essential reading for everyone. Even if you skip the rest of the book, do read the last 20 pages at least once. And take note of the author's Necessary Survival Guide for Token Students, a funny but painfully pointed resource for absolutely everyone. Thank you, Eternity Martis. You are a blessing.
March 29, 2021
3.5 stars — I think this book is very well written and contains a ton of valuable information - certainly it should be required reading for any high school, college, or university student. I’m not sure it’s fair to categorize it as a memoir, though. While the author does share lots of personal stories, every chapter follows the same structure: personal story relating to a theme (racism, sexual assault, domestic violence), explanation of said theme, examples of theme. It read to me more like a collection of essays and you can absolutely tell the author is a journalist — any chapter could be published on its own in a newspaper or magazine. I would’ve liked even more of her own stories, as she has had such an interesting journey and such a unique family. All the statistics and facts are valuable and definitely illustrate her points, but I was more interested in her specifics; in her maternal family not considering her to be Black, for example, and I would’ve loved more about her mother.
January 10, 2021
As a Black woman who attended Western University, this book is a triggering walk down memory lane. It encompasses the beauty and nightmare of living in what is known as one of Canada’s most racist cities. Ms. Martis will have you laughing, and reflecting in the same chapter while asking the important questions that our Black women know to be their everyday reality. Amazing piece of work I will definitely be recommending to others!
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