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Learning to Pray: A Guide for Everyone
One of America’s most beloved spiritual leaders and the New York Times bestselling author of The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything and Jesus: A Pilgrimage teaches anyone to converse with God in this comprehensive guide to prayer.
In The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything, Father James Martin included a chapter on communicating with God. Now, he expands those thoughts in this profound and practical handbook. Learning to Pray explains what prayer is, what to expect from praying, how to do it, and how it can transform us when we make it a regular practice in our lives.
A trusted guide walking beside us as we navigate our unique spiritual paths, Martin lays out the different styles and traditions of prayer throughout Christian history and invites us to experiment and discover which works best to feed our soul and build intimacy with our Creator. Father Martin makes clear there is not one secret formula for praying. But like any relationship, each person can discover the best style for building an intimate relationship with God, regardless of religion or denomination. Prayer, he teaches us, is open and accessible to anyone willing to open their heart.
In The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything, Father James Martin included a chapter on communicating with God. Now, he expands those thoughts in this profound and practical handbook. Learning to Pray explains what prayer is, what to expect from praying, how to do it, and how it can transform us when we make it a regular practice in our lives.
A trusted guide walking beside us as we navigate our unique spiritual paths, Martin lays out the different styles and traditions of prayer throughout Christian history and invites us to experiment and discover which works best to feed our soul and build intimacy with our Creator. Father Martin makes clear there is not one secret formula for praying. But like any relationship, each person can discover the best style for building an intimate relationship with God, regardless of religion or denomination. Prayer, he teaches us, is open and accessible to anyone willing to open their heart.
386 pages, Hardcover
First published February 2, 2021
1217 people are currently reading
2321 people want to read
About the author
James Martin
49 books1,005 followersJames Martin, SJ is a Jesuit priest, writer, editor at large of the Jesuit magazine America, and consultor to the Vatican's Secretariat for Communication.
Fr. Martin grew up in Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania, United States, and attended Plymouth-Whitemarsh High School. He graduated from the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business in 1982 and worked in corporate finance at General Electric for six years. Dissatisfied with the corporate world, he entered the Society of Jesus (more commonly known as the Jesuits) in 1988, and after completing his Jesuit training (which included studies in philosophy and theology, as well as full time-ministry) was ordained a priest in 1999. He received his Master's in Divinity (M.Div.) and Master's in Theology (Th.M.) from the Weston Jesuit School of Theology (now part of Boston College).
During his Jesuit training, Martin worked in a hospital for the seriously ill and a homeless shelter in Boston, with Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity in Jamaica, with street-gang members in Chicago, in a prison in Boston, and for two years with East African refugees in Nairobi, Kenya, with the Jesuit Refugee Service. In addition to his work at America magazine, Fr. Martin has written or edited more than 15 books, most of which are about spirituality and religion. He is a frequent commentator on religion and spirituality and has appeared on all the major networks, served as an expert commentator for ABC for the papal conclave that elected Pope Francis, and has written for many outlets, including the New York Times and The Wall Street Journal.
Father Martin's best known books The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything (2010) and Jesus: A Pilgrimage were both New York Times bestsellers; My Life with the Saints was named a Publishers Weekly Best Book; and all three were winners of the Christopher Award.
He has received over 15 honorary degrees from Catholic colleges and universities, and in 2017 Pope Francis appointed him as consultor to the Vatican's Secretariat for Communication.
Fr. Martin grew up in Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania, United States, and attended Plymouth-Whitemarsh High School. He graduated from the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business in 1982 and worked in corporate finance at General Electric for six years. Dissatisfied with the corporate world, he entered the Society of Jesus (more commonly known as the Jesuits) in 1988, and after completing his Jesuit training (which included studies in philosophy and theology, as well as full time-ministry) was ordained a priest in 1999. He received his Master's in Divinity (M.Div.) and Master's in Theology (Th.M.) from the Weston Jesuit School of Theology (now part of Boston College).
During his Jesuit training, Martin worked in a hospital for the seriously ill and a homeless shelter in Boston, with Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity in Jamaica, with street-gang members in Chicago, in a prison in Boston, and for two years with East African refugees in Nairobi, Kenya, with the Jesuit Refugee Service. In addition to his work at America magazine, Fr. Martin has written or edited more than 15 books, most of which are about spirituality and religion. He is a frequent commentator on religion and spirituality and has appeared on all the major networks, served as an expert commentator for ABC for the papal conclave that elected Pope Francis, and has written for many outlets, including the New York Times and The Wall Street Journal.
Father Martin's best known books The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything (2010) and Jesus: A Pilgrimage were both New York Times bestsellers; My Life with the Saints was named a Publishers Weekly Best Book; and all three were winners of the Christopher Award.
He has received over 15 honorary degrees from Catholic colleges and universities, and in 2017 Pope Francis appointed him as consultor to the Vatican's Secretariat for Communication.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 212 reviews
September 25, 2020
I didn't really believe it was possible, but this book truly manages to be a guide for EVERYONE. Whether you have had experience with prayer before, are just curious, struggling or truly and deep into it already, but are maybe trying to go deeper or better get into conversation with people who approach you on the subject- this book will speak to you in a gentle, sensitive, personal and even amusing way (the diet book comparison? Hilarious) and on a personal as well as intellectual level. In a way it was the perfect mix.
I have to confess, I am always a bit sceptical when it comes to books like this, because they often feel like 'self-help' books and as a theologian I kinda cringe away from that on instinct. I am happy to say that this book really is nothing like that. It is a guide, of course, but feels like a friend who you are having a really nice and deep conversation with, the author speaking on such a personal level and sharing his experiences that it felt like a confidential private exchange over a cup of tea, after a bible session, when you get closer to someone you like and have a good connection/vibe with. It felt like that from page one and it was so pleasantly surprising.
I too had little religious 'training' and manoeuvred my way through prayer quite clumsily for years and years. Had I had this book sooner, it would have probably helped me even more than it did now. Also because the 'List of Ten Reasons/Excuses' why people don't pray was just on point. James Martin is like your spiritual older brother who doesn't call you out, but shares his life and experiences with you because he cares for you and watches out for you. Never forcing you to learn from his experiences and your own, but offering. I loved that he got how daunting and frightening prayer can be, how much of a challenge it poses for some people and how difficult it is to talk about because it is so intimate.
The author made me feel comfortable and accepted and did a great job of welcoming me to engage with my prayer life, wherever I stood. I loved how sincere the author's voice was, how honest and gentle. It reminded me that everyone not only struggles to pray sometimes, but also continues to do so- and that's okay. It helped me feel less 'shame', because already at the very beginning the author put me at ease by confessing that they too (of course) started at the very beginning and their prayer life was basic to begin with. But to begin is better than to never try.
The personal voice really did it for me. This was not a lecturing book, and yet it did have it's reflective and intellectual elements in some way. Mostly though this book just shares and encourages and that's exactly what I needed and I am sure a lot of other Christians too. This book did really open up my eyes, heart and soul to the depth that can be experienced in prayer- how we can truly meet ourselves there by meeting God. "Prayer is another dimension of life."- thanks to this book I am hungry again to explore and discover it.
I received an e-ARC of this book from HarperCollins/Edelweiss. It goes without saying that this did not influence my personal opinion or the content of this review in any way. [I would tell if you if it's shit, I have done so before. Numerous times.]
I have to confess, I am always a bit sceptical when it comes to books like this, because they often feel like 'self-help' books and as a theologian I kinda cringe away from that on instinct. I am happy to say that this book really is nothing like that. It is a guide, of course, but feels like a friend who you are having a really nice and deep conversation with, the author speaking on such a personal level and sharing his experiences that it felt like a confidential private exchange over a cup of tea, after a bible session, when you get closer to someone you like and have a good connection/vibe with. It felt like that from page one and it was so pleasantly surprising.
I too had little religious 'training' and manoeuvred my way through prayer quite clumsily for years and years. Had I had this book sooner, it would have probably helped me even more than it did now. Also because the 'List of Ten Reasons/Excuses' why people don't pray was just on point. James Martin is like your spiritual older brother who doesn't call you out, but shares his life and experiences with you because he cares for you and watches out for you. Never forcing you to learn from his experiences and your own, but offering. I loved that he got how daunting and frightening prayer can be, how much of a challenge it poses for some people and how difficult it is to talk about because it is so intimate.
The author made me feel comfortable and accepted and did a great job of welcoming me to engage with my prayer life, wherever I stood. I loved how sincere the author's voice was, how honest and gentle. It reminded me that everyone not only struggles to pray sometimes, but also continues to do so- and that's okay. It helped me feel less 'shame', because already at the very beginning the author put me at ease by confessing that they too (of course) started at the very beginning and their prayer life was basic to begin with. But to begin is better than to never try.
The personal voice really did it for me. This was not a lecturing book, and yet it did have it's reflective and intellectual elements in some way. Mostly though this book just shares and encourages and that's exactly what I needed and I am sure a lot of other Christians too. This book did really open up my eyes, heart and soul to the depth that can be experienced in prayer- how we can truly meet ourselves there by meeting God. "Prayer is another dimension of life."- thanks to this book I am hungry again to explore and discover it.
I received an e-ARC of this book from HarperCollins/Edelweiss. It goes without saying that this did not influence my personal opinion or the content of this review in any way. [I would tell if you if it's shit, I have done so before. Numerous times.]
December 15, 2020
I think I was expecting a teeny little book of good little referential tips on different ways to pray for beginners. This book...is not that. It IS that, but Martin throws everything and the kitchen sink inside a book on prayer that one could possibly want.
I've always loved the way Father Martin writes. Martin writes like his fellow late priest Henri Nouwen did: unpretentious, simple, and profound. I loved every single page--and those pages are considerable. Growing up in a Protestant tradition, I was mostly aware of just one tradition--personal prayer--and Martin blows that narrow little door wide open with joy. This is a book you could recommend to an atheist skeptic as well as an experienced "prayer warrior" as some like to call those who've been praying most of their lives. My favorite section was Martin's personal reflections on when he saw God in his life as a small boy--how we can look for God in the most unexpected nooks and crannies of our lives, and the only way one can know it's God or it's the pizza you ate (sometimes, it just really was) is by faith. This is a great gift book for those of many faith traditions, and was a comfort to me to read. Thank you Netgalley for the chance to pick this one up.
I've always loved the way Father Martin writes. Martin writes like his fellow late priest Henri Nouwen did: unpretentious, simple, and profound. I loved every single page--and those pages are considerable. Growing up in a Protestant tradition, I was mostly aware of just one tradition--personal prayer--and Martin blows that narrow little door wide open with joy. This is a book you could recommend to an atheist skeptic as well as an experienced "prayer warrior" as some like to call those who've been praying most of their lives. My favorite section was Martin's personal reflections on when he saw God in his life as a small boy--how we can look for God in the most unexpected nooks and crannies of our lives, and the only way one can know it's God or it's the pizza you ate (sometimes, it just really was) is by faith. This is a great gift book for those of many faith traditions, and was a comfort to me to read. Thank you Netgalley for the chance to pick this one up.
June 29, 2022
The author's aim has been to write a book for people from never-prayed to serious prayer... I think it mostly succeeds, but in the end I feel that if you're not interested in Christian ways of prayer, this book might feel unsatisfying in the end.
That said, this book does have many interesting ways of doing it, answers many questions and excuses, and brings some surprises even to those who have read books on prayer before. No guide to rosary or all types of Christian (especially Catholic) prayer are here, but there are other books for that (and the author does give some further reading tips at the end, plus a reading group guide).
Some real-life examples are put within, many of course from his own prayer life and how it has developed. In the end prayer is about a relationship with God, and sometimes one has to remind oneself that if one's father or father-figure hasn't been a good one, or good enough, God isn't like them, but the very end of 'best father figure ever's Good end.
Also of course a bunch are of Jesuit origin, or used by them, but others aren't. Ignatian contemplation, Lectio Divina, and praying in nature were favorites for me, and the point about journaling about one's prayer life and how it keeps the good memories alive and really-happened is so true (though I haven't done it yet, I do feel it is so).
So, although I don't feel his success to turn some readers into prayers will be certainly-successful, I do think that there was much new or well-said here for those who want to try, or already have some kind of prayer life. Not necessarily essential read, but might give the reader some depths previously not realised.
That said, this book does have many interesting ways of doing it, answers many questions and excuses, and brings some surprises even to those who have read books on prayer before. No guide to rosary or all types of Christian (especially Catholic) prayer are here, but there are other books for that (and the author does give some further reading tips at the end, plus a reading group guide).
Some real-life examples are put within, many of course from his own prayer life and how it has developed. In the end prayer is about a relationship with God, and sometimes one has to remind oneself that if one's father or father-figure hasn't been a good one, or good enough, God isn't like them, but the very end of 'best father figure ever's Good end.
Also of course a bunch are of Jesuit origin, or used by them, but others aren't. Ignatian contemplation, Lectio Divina, and praying in nature were favorites for me, and the point about journaling about one's prayer life and how it keeps the good memories alive and really-happened is so true (though I haven't done it yet, I do feel it is so).
So, although I don't feel his success to turn some readers into prayers will be certainly-successful, I do think that there was much new or well-said here for those who want to try, or already have some kind of prayer life. Not necessarily essential read, but might give the reader some depths previously not realised.
April 9, 2024
This book, authored by a Jesuit Priest, aims to assist readers in creating their prayer practice. The author shares personal experiences as examples and approaches to aid in this endeavor. The tone of the book is conversational and can be integrated into any spiritual practice, regardless of religious preference. It's a little long, but I appreciate the depth the author goes into. Interesting read. 3.5ish stars.
February 2, 2023
Anne Lamott says we only need three prayers: Help! Thanks! Wow! Succinct and to the point. This book on prayer by Fr. James Martin, a Jesuit priest and prolific author, is somewhat the opposite: It's long at 400 pages. At times, it's also longwinded. Still, if you're willing to spend a significant amount of time reading this book, I suspect you will come away with ideas to enrich in your prayer life.
Written specifically for beginners—that is, people who want to pray but aren't sure how to pray—this book is also valuable for everyone else. Not surprisingly, it's heavily slanted toward the Jesuit way of praying, but these techniques can readily be used by anyone of any Christian denomination—even this Episcopalian.
The point of the book is to encourage readers to think about prayer in a new way, specifically as a personal relationship with God. Fr. Martin is the first to admit there is no one right way to pray, but he challenges readers to at least try something new. That is, if you're happy with rote prayers, that's fine. But what about trying to pray using your imagination by placing yourself in the middle of a beloved Bible scene?
This is a how-to book with specific and sometimes quite lengthy instructions on how to pray. Find out:
• Nine different ways to start praying—without even realizing you're doing it.
• How to form a friendship with God.
• How to pray with sacred texts, which is a practice known as lectio divina.
• What is Ignatian contemplation? How do you do this in prayer?
• Learn about petitionary prayers, as well as how to best use "rote" prayers.
• How to pray the Ignatian Daily Examen and its benefits.
• What is centering prayer and how do you pray this way?
Fr. James Martin may be longwinded at times, but the man knows how to write. The text is readable, thought-provoking, and filled with personal anecdotes to keep the reader's interest.
Written specifically for beginners—that is, people who want to pray but aren't sure how to pray—this book is also valuable for everyone else. Not surprisingly, it's heavily slanted toward the Jesuit way of praying, but these techniques can readily be used by anyone of any Christian denomination—even this Episcopalian.
The point of the book is to encourage readers to think about prayer in a new way, specifically as a personal relationship with God. Fr. Martin is the first to admit there is no one right way to pray, but he challenges readers to at least try something new. That is, if you're happy with rote prayers, that's fine. But what about trying to pray using your imagination by placing yourself in the middle of a beloved Bible scene?
This is a how-to book with specific and sometimes quite lengthy instructions on how to pray. Find out:
• Nine different ways to start praying—without even realizing you're doing it.
• How to form a friendship with God.
• How to pray with sacred texts, which is a practice known as lectio divina.
• What is Ignatian contemplation? How do you do this in prayer?
• Learn about petitionary prayers, as well as how to best use "rote" prayers.
• How to pray the Ignatian Daily Examen and its benefits.
• What is centering prayer and how do you pray this way?
Fr. James Martin may be longwinded at times, but the man knows how to write. The text is readable, thought-provoking, and filled with personal anecdotes to keep the reader's interest.
July 1, 2022
I think I came across this book on Instagram, and I was intrigued. This is written by a Jesuit priest (is that the proper terminology?), and while I am not Catholic, I found this to be very expansive and enlightening.
Some insights I really liked from the book:
- our relationship with God should be one of friendship, and our prayers can certainly reflect that
- rote prayers can be meaningful and are simply a type of prayer; there is not a "wrong" or "right" way to pray. Mormons would call this meditating on scripture, or even "ponderizing"
- previously, I'd been unclear on why Catholics prayed to Saints; I appreciated the explanation from the author! When a Catholic prays to a saint, they are simply asking the dead saint to pray on their behalf, or to work for their good in some way. Don't Mormons do this to some degree with our dead ancestors, especially those we family members "on the other side of the veil" who were close to us? We may not call it prayer, because to Mormons, prayer implies worship. But we absolutely converse with the dead in a more casual way, especially the dead we knew personally.
- God can handle your emotions! Sadness or rage is okay!
- God sometimes answers prayers with feelings, but other times, He answers through insights
- The Catholic's prayer called the "examen" was something I was unfamiliar with, but I really loved it. This is a daily practice of seeing God in our lives, enumerating the examples of when He walked with us, and thanking Him for His help. Mormons are absolutely encouraged to do this, though we don't always do it in prayer (Henry B. Eyring does it through journaling). If there is one principle of this book that has stuck with me in the weeks since I've finished reading it, it's this one!
- The author's description of a "share group" reminded me of fast and testimony meeting!
- What happens when you find yourself distracted during prayer? You can either remove the distractions or simply accept the distractions.
- There's nothing wrong, really, with "wasting time with God." When it feels like there are no fruits of prayer, drop your expectations, because God controls the fruits, not you.
- Don't forget to pray over scriptural texts. Study and prayer can go hand in hand!
- Prayers should be consoling, but also prayers should change us and spur us to action. Prayer is transforming, not just a nice experience.
- Prayer is a preventative against despair. It leads us to hope.
- The idea of a nature prayer is particularly beautiful to me! Take time to be in nature and feel the prayer all around you.
- Gratitude is prayer enough.
- What difference will prayer experiences make in your life? "You have a lifetime to answer, and the answer is your life."
Some insights I really liked from the book:
- our relationship with God should be one of friendship, and our prayers can certainly reflect that
- rote prayers can be meaningful and are simply a type of prayer; there is not a "wrong" or "right" way to pray. Mormons would call this meditating on scripture, or even "ponderizing"
- previously, I'd been unclear on why Catholics prayed to Saints; I appreciated the explanation from the author! When a Catholic prays to a saint, they are simply asking the dead saint to pray on their behalf, or to work for their good in some way. Don't Mormons do this to some degree with our dead ancestors, especially those we family members "on the other side of the veil" who were close to us? We may not call it prayer, because to Mormons, prayer implies worship. But we absolutely converse with the dead in a more casual way, especially the dead we knew personally.
- God can handle your emotions! Sadness or rage is okay!
- God sometimes answers prayers with feelings, but other times, He answers through insights
- The Catholic's prayer called the "examen" was something I was unfamiliar with, but I really loved it. This is a daily practice of seeing God in our lives, enumerating the examples of when He walked with us, and thanking Him for His help. Mormons are absolutely encouraged to do this, though we don't always do it in prayer (Henry B. Eyring does it through journaling). If there is one principle of this book that has stuck with me in the weeks since I've finished reading it, it's this one!
- The author's description of a "share group" reminded me of fast and testimony meeting!
- What happens when you find yourself distracted during prayer? You can either remove the distractions or simply accept the distractions.
- There's nothing wrong, really, with "wasting time with God." When it feels like there are no fruits of prayer, drop your expectations, because God controls the fruits, not you.
- Don't forget to pray over scriptural texts. Study and prayer can go hand in hand!
- Prayers should be consoling, but also prayers should change us and spur us to action. Prayer is transforming, not just a nice experience.
- Prayer is a preventative against despair. It leads us to hope.
- The idea of a nature prayer is particularly beautiful to me! Take time to be in nature and feel the prayer all around you.
- Gratitude is prayer enough.
- What difference will prayer experiences make in your life? "You have a lifetime to answer, and the answer is your life."
March 11, 2021
I hesitate to give stars to this book. Some will find it hopelessly simplistic and others will find it richly spiritual. I have no problem with either. It's not useless. But it's also not "a guide for everyone," which is an absurd claim. It's a guide for some people who wish to have guidance in certain kinds of Christian prayer. What a wonderful thing to seek guidance in. It may be of interest to many who don't seek such guidance, but then only as a curiosity not really a guidebook. I'm not a bit sorry to be reading it and I hope to profit from it, as the questions it offers its answers to are questions I've long had. Still, the subtitle may serve as a warning about the perspective of the book. It will not address your doubts or challenge your assumptions unless those doubts and assumptions are of a specific already-Christian kind. It's a guide for everyone who is already a Christian and wants guidance about how to improve their prayer life and a book that may be useful or interesting to some others.
----------------
Another day. I will give stars, though I have the same reservation I had before.
The book may be useful to you. I do not begrudge you that. For myself, I left this vision of Christianity behind many years ago. Maybe you believe that God has specific things he wants you to do, that you should always be seeking his will the way a servant seeks the will of king, the way an employee asks the boss what he's to do next. I have no authority to tell you God doesn't work that way.
But I don't think so. The problem I always had with that way of thinking, this minute-by-minute attempt to discern God's will, is that it doesn't in fact require the existence of God to work. One is always interpreting "signs." And interpretation being what it is, one can always say "this is God and that is not" according to the system of interpretation. God becomes an interpretive system, nothing more.
The metaphor that supports this is "personal relationship." It's a disarming metaphor, not false necessarily, not thoroughly false, not false for what it says but for what it doesn't say. My "relationship" to God has so little in common with anything else I call a relationship, that to call it even that, let along personal, is too thoroughly anthropomorphic. God can't be my buddy. If he were, he'd talk to me with the clarity of words if he were saying anything that words could make clear.
I believe that God's will is a general will if it exists at all. It is this: love yourself. Love your neighbors as yourself. Love God? Yes, by the expression of love for all of God that is around you: what God brought into being.
Then what about prayer? Pray all you want. Pray anything you want. I will give any more specific advice to anyone about what to pray or when to pray or how to pray. (That is by no means a criticism of Fr. Martin or anyone who does give you instruction on prayer or of you for listening to it.) But I will not expect God to find my car keys. I won't even ask him to. And if I ask him to bless those I love, I know I'm really telling God I'm afraid of losing those I love. I don't expect him to heal my disease. I wouldn't ask him not to, but as I can't understand the logic of healing my cold or my Covid only to let me fall apart and die, as we all know he will, I don't know how to ask for it. I don't think God is in that business. I think we know God better when we understand that he's not in that business.
We can experience the divine in this life, I believe, in many ways. Contemplation is one. Quiet reflection, peaceful observation are among the ways. Helping those in need, all acts of charity are other ways. Even if God doesn't heal your cancer, if I as a doctor can heal your cancer, I have loved you. I can experience God in that. If I as a citizen can help you to food or lift you out of poverty, I can experience God in that. It's because God doesn't that I must. God will let each of you die. You will live your life in deep uncertainly about when or how or in a false sense of assurance that it can't be now because God loves you. The God who allowed his own son to be crucified does love you, as he loved him. But he let him be crucified. And he will let you die as has let everyone who has come before us die, often horrendously, often tragically, always too soon, often much too soon.
The divine surrounds us like a mist. We are enveloped in it. We can always pay attention to it, always breathe it in, always find God in it. But I do not believe it pushes us. It invites us. It leaves us free to love as we see best.
That said, I find even from my point of view some value in this book. Not all prayer is petitionary prayer. Not all prayer is about fostering a "personal relationship." A lot of prayer is about experiencing the divine. Fr. Martin knows that. And a good deal of what he says fosters it. Reading the book was a good use of my time. I won't read it again very likely. It took my back over 30 years to the time when I would have read this book enthusiastically and nodded at every page. It made me glad that time is gone.
----------------
Another day. I will give stars, though I have the same reservation I had before.
The book may be useful to you. I do not begrudge you that. For myself, I left this vision of Christianity behind many years ago. Maybe you believe that God has specific things he wants you to do, that you should always be seeking his will the way a servant seeks the will of king, the way an employee asks the boss what he's to do next. I have no authority to tell you God doesn't work that way.
But I don't think so. The problem I always had with that way of thinking, this minute-by-minute attempt to discern God's will, is that it doesn't in fact require the existence of God to work. One is always interpreting "signs." And interpretation being what it is, one can always say "this is God and that is not" according to the system of interpretation. God becomes an interpretive system, nothing more.
The metaphor that supports this is "personal relationship." It's a disarming metaphor, not false necessarily, not thoroughly false, not false for what it says but for what it doesn't say. My "relationship" to God has so little in common with anything else I call a relationship, that to call it even that, let along personal, is too thoroughly anthropomorphic. God can't be my buddy. If he were, he'd talk to me with the clarity of words if he were saying anything that words could make clear.
I believe that God's will is a general will if it exists at all. It is this: love yourself. Love your neighbors as yourself. Love God? Yes, by the expression of love for all of God that is around you: what God brought into being.
Then what about prayer? Pray all you want. Pray anything you want. I will give any more specific advice to anyone about what to pray or when to pray or how to pray. (That is by no means a criticism of Fr. Martin or anyone who does give you instruction on prayer or of you for listening to it.) But I will not expect God to find my car keys. I won't even ask him to. And if I ask him to bless those I love, I know I'm really telling God I'm afraid of losing those I love. I don't expect him to heal my disease. I wouldn't ask him not to, but as I can't understand the logic of healing my cold or my Covid only to let me fall apart and die, as we all know he will, I don't know how to ask for it. I don't think God is in that business. I think we know God better when we understand that he's not in that business.
We can experience the divine in this life, I believe, in many ways. Contemplation is one. Quiet reflection, peaceful observation are among the ways. Helping those in need, all acts of charity are other ways. Even if God doesn't heal your cancer, if I as a doctor can heal your cancer, I have loved you. I can experience God in that. If I as a citizen can help you to food or lift you out of poverty, I can experience God in that. It's because God doesn't that I must. God will let each of you die. You will live your life in deep uncertainly about when or how or in a false sense of assurance that it can't be now because God loves you. The God who allowed his own son to be crucified does love you, as he loved him. But he let him be crucified. And he will let you die as has let everyone who has come before us die, often horrendously, often tragically, always too soon, often much too soon.
The divine surrounds us like a mist. We are enveloped in it. We can always pay attention to it, always breathe it in, always find God in it. But I do not believe it pushes us. It invites us. It leaves us free to love as we see best.
That said, I find even from my point of view some value in this book. Not all prayer is petitionary prayer. Not all prayer is about fostering a "personal relationship." A lot of prayer is about experiencing the divine. Fr. Martin knows that. And a good deal of what he says fosters it. Reading the book was a good use of my time. I won't read it again very likely. It took my back over 30 years to the time when I would have read this book enthusiastically and nodded at every page. It made me glad that time is gone.
March 3, 2021
Haven't finished yet but the book itself is really beautiful- The cover and paper are of great quality. And as usual, Fr. Martin is a pleasure to read. Like sitting down with a close friend and sharing experiences in our lives. There is much to be learned for people whether they have a prayer history or if they are new to the benefits of a prayer life.
July 14, 2023
Been slowly reading this book over a year now! A priest recommended this one to me after I mentioned that sometimes I have trouble carving out time to pray during the day—his point, emphasized by this book, was that prayer can come in lots of different forms and it’s good to try to vary your prayer to get more out of it! Really loved the different styles of praying that Father Martin describes. A good book to flip through over time rather than read front to back.
February 6, 2022
I grew up within the Protestant tradition where [I thought that] I had a strong personal prayer life; I was hoping for a little help with the public, extemporaneous prayer expected from a community leader, and where I seem to struggle a bit (I usually crib them on a piece of paper in advance) ... this book doesn't do that. So after my initial disappointment, I settled in for what I believed would be a quick review. As expected, the author starts off with why we should pray and defining what prayer is ... including nine (9) types of prayer many people do without actually realizing they are doing it. There is a good mix of personal story and cited sources here that continues through the rest of the book and makes it all exceptionally relatable. After a brief treatment of rote or formal prayers in chapter 8, the book moves into more of the Ignatian traditions that I actually don't have much experience with (but seem to be gaining significant attention from those working toward a deeper and richer prayer life). Fr. Martin hits the Daily Examen first ... with a quick segue into what happens when you pray and how to discern God's voice ... I must have highlighted half of each chapter here in my kindle as a quick reference. This is not something that I have thought much about, nor was it really discussed much in any detail growing up.
After the Examen, we get Ignatian Contemplation, which leans heavily on imagination ... which can be difficult for those of us who tend toward more analytical/concrete thinking. Fr Martin breaks it all down into easy steps and deals with each individually before bringing all together to great effect. After that, we get a chapter on Lectio Divina ... which seems to be all the rage today (at least in my diocese). Again I found a good definition of what it is, what steps are involved and how to do them. Straight up and simple, which is probably why this chapter was relatively short. I was surprised to find Centering Payer next, since it can be controversial with some Catholics (precisely because of the perception of non-christian influence from the East). Fr. Martin deals with this quite well by reminding us to be sure that we keep the presence of God front of 'center' when we use this technique). Nature prayer (or the "Gaze of Jesus" is next and it calls to mind my own encounters with God's creation and how I felt at the time; reminding me that it is important to continue to seek out these encounters. Chapter 16 talks about some of the tools we can use in our prayer life: spiritual direction (new for me), retreats (with a list of several types), faith sharing (which I like to think of as my strong suit) and journaling (which is my weakest).
So ... after all of that ... why are some folks not satisfied with their payer life? Chapter 17 on expectations and the "ups and and downs of the spiritual life" may help. This is something that I don't often see ... an acknowledgement that sometimes you just don't feel like anything worked and that makes it more likely that you may get discouraged. Fr Martin has some practical advice on how to tweak a few things ... but the best advice is to simple remember is that God is in charge here ... and sometimes unanswered prayers are for the best.
Overall I find the book to be an excellent reference to which I will constantly return to as I work on improving my own life of prayer.
I was given this free advance reader copy (ARC) ebook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
#LearningtoPray #NetGalley
After the Examen, we get Ignatian Contemplation, which leans heavily on imagination ... which can be difficult for those of us who tend toward more analytical/concrete thinking. Fr Martin breaks it all down into easy steps and deals with each individually before bringing all together to great effect. After that, we get a chapter on Lectio Divina ... which seems to be all the rage today (at least in my diocese). Again I found a good definition of what it is, what steps are involved and how to do them. Straight up and simple, which is probably why this chapter was relatively short. I was surprised to find Centering Payer next, since it can be controversial with some Catholics (precisely because of the perception of non-christian influence from the East). Fr. Martin deals with this quite well by reminding us to be sure that we keep the presence of God front of 'center' when we use this technique). Nature prayer (or the "Gaze of Jesus" is next and it calls to mind my own encounters with God's creation and how I felt at the time; reminding me that it is important to continue to seek out these encounters. Chapter 16 talks about some of the tools we can use in our prayer life: spiritual direction (new for me), retreats (with a list of several types), faith sharing (which I like to think of as my strong suit) and journaling (which is my weakest).
So ... after all of that ... why are some folks not satisfied with their payer life? Chapter 17 on expectations and the "ups and and downs of the spiritual life" may help. This is something that I don't often see ... an acknowledgement that sometimes you just don't feel like anything worked and that makes it more likely that you may get discouraged. Fr Martin has some practical advice on how to tweak a few things ... but the best advice is to simple remember is that God is in charge here ... and sometimes unanswered prayers are for the best.
Overall I find the book to be an excellent reference to which I will constantly return to as I work on improving my own life of prayer.
I was given this free advance reader copy (ARC) ebook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
#LearningtoPray #NetGalley
May 19, 2021
I became intrigued in this book after Father James Martin was interviewed on a Jewish podcast I love. I admire people who can remain steadfast in their beliefs, while approaching other world views with curiosity and openness, which is how Father Martin talked about prayer and spirituality. He writes from a Christian perspective, but does not seem interested in trying to convert the reader. Rather, he expresses a desire to write about prayer in all its forms in a manner accessible to those from various faith backgrounds or of no faith background. I learned a lot about prayer, mindfulness, turning towards God, and turning towards others. Prayer can take many forms and it certainly seems like spending more time investing in ones spiritual life, regardless of what religious or non-religious tradition you come from, could be beneficial. I wish the book was shorter, but I am still glad I read it.
March 17, 2021
This book will forever be connected to my experience of the Covid19 crisis and listening to Father Jim each evening during the confinement.
Beautifully presented and very accessible; a good book for everyone.
Beautifully presented and very accessible; a good book for everyone.
July 26, 2022
3.5 - helpful book but at times wordy in a way that made me lose interest. Good rec for people interested in learning about the foundations
April 26, 2022
An excellent overview of the undertandings and beliefs of Christian prayer.
It is a fairly lengthy book, but considering the scope of the topic addressed, the author does an incredible job of covering a wide variety of elements of prayer. I particularly enjoyed the practical elements addressed in the book.
Writing in an approachable manner while sharing heartwarming and challenging stories, Martin provides an extensive introduction to many different forms of prayer, such as Lectio Divina, The Examen, and Centering Prayer, as well as addressing questions such as "what exactly is prayer," "why do we pray for others" and "what happens when we pray?"
This book will definitely be one of my regular go-to's as a reference resource for all things prayer.
It is a fairly lengthy book, but considering the scope of the topic addressed, the author does an incredible job of covering a wide variety of elements of prayer. I particularly enjoyed the practical elements addressed in the book.
Writing in an approachable manner while sharing heartwarming and challenging stories, Martin provides an extensive introduction to many different forms of prayer, such as Lectio Divina, The Examen, and Centering Prayer, as well as addressing questions such as "what exactly is prayer," "why do we pray for others" and "what happens when we pray?"
This book will definitely be one of my regular go-to's as a reference resource for all things prayer.
April 14, 2023
This book is designed to help someone create their own prayer practice and lay a foundation for communication with the divine, and it does that. It feels very conversational, almost like a chat with a friend. While it doesn't focus on religion per se, it is written by a Jesuit Priest so the examples and approaches are coming from his personal experience. As long as one is willing to meet the author where he is there is quite a bit to gain from this read that can be mixed into any spiritual practice.
November 15, 2022
I appreciate how Fr. James Martin introduces prayer practices — examen (reviewing the day), Lectio (praying with Scripture), and such. That said, it read a lot like his book “The Jesuit Guide to Everything.” I wonder if his publisher suggested that he repackage the material under a title with more broad-based appeal (“How to Pray”). Between the two, I’d recommend the first one over this one.
December 31, 2021
This is the second book about prayer that I’ve read, and it’s the second book about prayer that I’ve struggled with. I love Fr Martin, and he rarely does anything wrong in my book. So I know the problem lies in me.
I just do not understand the need for 300+ pages to explain what prayer is. Prayer doesn’t need to be formal for me. (I am curious about journaling about prayer. I can’t even journal about life.)
I just don’t think prayer is that complicated.
Prayer is like breathing. There are techniques and occasions for special breathing, e.g., lion’s breath in yoga. Breathing does myriads of wondrous things for us internally.
But most of my life, I simply inhale and exhale, and a lot of my prayers go with the inhale and exhale. It’s not the most fruitful prayer life, but it’s the one that works for me and keeps me centered.
Complicating it with imagery or long, tedious, rote prayers would only distract me.
Just like in Say It to God, I was left thinking of how simply Thérèse of Lisieux explained prayer:
I just do not understand the need for 300+ pages to explain what prayer is. Prayer doesn’t need to be formal for me. (I am curious about journaling about prayer. I can’t even journal about life.)
I just don’t think prayer is that complicated.
Prayer is like breathing. There are techniques and occasions for special breathing, e.g., lion’s breath in yoga. Breathing does myriads of wondrous things for us internally.
But most of my life, I simply inhale and exhale, and a lot of my prayers go with the inhale and exhale. It’s not the most fruitful prayer life, but it’s the one that works for me and keeps me centered.
Complicating it with imagery or long, tedious, rote prayers would only distract me.
Just like in Say It to God, I was left thinking of how simply Thérèse of Lisieux explained prayer:
For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.
July 17, 2021
I disagree with the title of this book; it is not a book for “everyone”; it is a book for Christians, particularly westernized Christians. It carries a very specific view of God that limits the usefulness of the book for other faiths, especially agnostics. I’ve always been interested in learning about a variety of faiths, but I’m overly familiar with Christianity, so this book did not teach me anything new other than a few Jesuit practices. I hoped to get an introduction to a wide variety of prayer as practiced by a wide variety of religions, but I guess I need to look elsewhere.
That said, if you are a Christian and don’t know how to pray, this isn’t a bad book.
That said, if you are a Christian and don’t know how to pray, this isn’t a bad book.
March 31, 2021
This is an exceptional book on prayer. No way to pray is wrong, and they all lead you to a closer relationship to God. Fr. Martin introduces the reader to many various ways to pray, each with it's own character. You can choose what works for you. Whatever your stage in life, you can spend a little time getting to know God a little better. Although Fr. Martin is a catholic priest, he writes in a way that all can relate to with practical help for everyone.
I highly recommend this book for everyone that desires a closer relationship with God.
I highly recommend this book for everyone that desires a closer relationship with God.
March 6, 2021
James Martin, SJ is one of my favorite spiritual authors. I've never read a book by Martin that I didn't love. Learning to Pray: A Guide for Everyone is no exception. It's filled with thoughts and reflections on prayer, all of it reassuring, and descriptions and examples of a wide variety of the forms of prayer. No matter where a reader is on their spiritual and prayer journey, this book is a wonderful guide.
March 22, 2022
I follow Fr. James Martin, SJ on Twitter. I haven't read his other books, but I do know that by following him on social media I have found both solace and inspiration. I saw this book was coming out in paperback just in time for Lent. So I figured this would be a good time to pick it up.
And I wasn't disappointed.
Now, if you're going to pick up a book called "Learning to Pray" you have to be interested in prayer to begin with. So clearly, I am. And as I begin to re-engage with my faith as an adult, this was a fantastic touchpoint for me. If you're inclined to pray, or get back to praying, I highly recommend picking this up. It's an easy type of read, meaning that while there is some theology and history to it, it is not too erudite. It's accessible -- much like prayer is. And I appreciated Fr. Martin's personal stories.
A few passages that I found meaningful to me:
"Prayer without faith means you don't believe in the One with whom you're in conversation. Faith without prayer means you're not in conversation with the One in whom you believe."
"Prayer, at least for me, is slightly different from the relationship itself. Here's the way I like to define prayer: Prayer is conscious conversation with God."
"...intentional time, conscious time, to speak to God and to listen to God's voice."
"experiencing it is more important than defining it."
"Where a strictly worded definition can be shallow and closes down thought, a story opens hearers' minds and is endlessly deep."
"We hurt ourselves when we try to seek love in places that are not going to nourish us. It is the difference between false love and real love."
And I wasn't disappointed.
Now, if you're going to pick up a book called "Learning to Pray" you have to be interested in prayer to begin with. So clearly, I am. And as I begin to re-engage with my faith as an adult, this was a fantastic touchpoint for me. If you're inclined to pray, or get back to praying, I highly recommend picking this up. It's an easy type of read, meaning that while there is some theology and history to it, it is not too erudite. It's accessible -- much like prayer is. And I appreciated Fr. Martin's personal stories.
A few passages that I found meaningful to me:
"Prayer without faith means you don't believe in the One with whom you're in conversation. Faith without prayer means you're not in conversation with the One in whom you believe."
"Prayer, at least for me, is slightly different from the relationship itself. Here's the way I like to define prayer: Prayer is conscious conversation with God."
"...intentional time, conscious time, to speak to God and to listen to God's voice."
"experiencing it is more important than defining it."
"Where a strictly worded definition can be shallow and closes down thought, a story opens hearers' minds and is endlessly deep."
"We hurt ourselves when we try to seek love in places that are not going to nourish us. It is the difference between false love and real love."
June 24, 2022
I was given this book by our priest after a discussion about how people do not know how to pray or why. After much thought, I have decided that I would recommend this book to others. Learning to Pray covers all the basic questions people have about prayer but never discuss with each other. In the beginning, it felt very simple but progressively built on itself in following chapters. I was not a fan of the Jesuit writing style but warmed up to it enough to hear the author. I realized part way through the book that it was affecting my own prayer life for the better and so I know I must appreciate it for that.
July 3, 2022
I was amazed at the depth that Fr. Martin goes into in presenting various forms of prayer. Most importantly he answers the question “what happens after you close your eyes?”. While reading this book is not actually praying, if you want to pray (or want to learn new ways to pray, this is the book for you.
March 15, 2021
This book is so helpful in giving direction for your personal prayer experience. Martin gives many different way to pray, goes through each one and explains how to use them. He explains what we can experience through prayer, outcomes of prayer, and even why we may experience dryness in our prayer.
I too a lot away from this book and I plan to return again and again to find new ways to pray which will only help my relationship with God.
If you have never prayed before, this book is a great resource. If you're looking to enhance your prayer life with new forms of prayer, check this book out. If you like a bit of Jesuit humor, read Martin!
I too a lot away from this book and I plan to return again and again to find new ways to pray which will only help my relationship with God.
If you have never prayed before, this book is a great resource. If you're looking to enhance your prayer life with new forms of prayer, check this book out. If you like a bit of Jesuit humor, read Martin!
June 8, 2021
I'm reviewing this from a Catholic perspective. I'm pretty sure a lot of things were over-explained but I grew up a Christian so a good chunk of the book is unneeded for me. I was moved by the things I had never encountered and will be incorporating (or at least trying) some of them into my life. I can't deny that I didn't expect to be spirituality consoled by the time I finished this book (it *is* Fr. James Martin after all).
April 30, 2022
It's hard to know if I liked this book because of the book itself or the conversation around this book in the form of weekly get-togethers with a group. The observations and sharing about prayer were enlightening.
The book itself is incredibly accessible, a bit long, but highly recommended for anyone who has no idea how to pray or what prayer is and would like to learn, or for anyone who needs a little change in their prayer life and would like to read about how other people pray.
The book itself is incredibly accessible, a bit long, but highly recommended for anyone who has no idea how to pray or what prayer is and would like to learn, or for anyone who needs a little change in their prayer life and would like to read about how other people pray.
March 21, 2023
Really enjoyable book about the many different types of prayers and methods to pray.
June 20, 2021
A beautiful book, and much needed.
August 11, 2022
Very well written, a bit studious at times.
June 26, 2021
Very helpful reminder of various ways to pray and what prayer is…it comes in a variety of forms. A good reminder to share our joys and sorrows, and that we are loved and accepted regardless. It gave me pause, and respect for embracing silence.
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