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Show Me Where It Hurts: Living with Invisible Illness
My body dictates who I am. I work the way I do because of my body, I vote the way I do because of my body and I live the way I do because of my body. It is not my body that is at fault, but society's failure to deal with bodies like mine. I might be in pain, but I am whole. I refuse to have the difficult parts cropped out.
Kylie Maslen has been living with invisible illness for twenty years-more than half her life. Its impact is felt in every aspect of her day-to-day existence- from work to dating; from her fears for what the future holds to her struggles to get out of bed some mornings.
Drawing on pop music, art, literature and online culture, Maslen explores the lived experience of invisible illness with sensitivity and wit, drawing back the veil on a reality many struggle-or refuse-to recognise. Show Me Where it Hurts- Living with Invisible Illness is a powerful collection of essays that speak to those who have encountered the brush-off from doctors, faced endless tests and treatments, and endured chronic pain and suffering. But it is also a bridge reaching out to partners, families, friends, colleagues, doctors- all those who want to better understand what life looks like when you cannot simply show others where it hurts.
Kylie Maslen has been living with invisible illness for twenty years-more than half her life. Its impact is felt in every aspect of her day-to-day existence- from work to dating; from her fears for what the future holds to her struggles to get out of bed some mornings.
Drawing on pop music, art, literature and online culture, Maslen explores the lived experience of invisible illness with sensitivity and wit, drawing back the veil on a reality many struggle-or refuse-to recognise. Show Me Where it Hurts- Living with Invisible Illness is a powerful collection of essays that speak to those who have encountered the brush-off from doctors, faced endless tests and treatments, and endured chronic pain and suffering. But it is also a bridge reaching out to partners, families, friends, colleagues, doctors- all those who want to better understand what life looks like when you cannot simply show others where it hurts.
320 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2020
20 people are currently reading
1160 people want to read
About the author
Kylie Maslen
2 books12 followersKylie Maslen is a writer and critic. Her work has appeared in the Guardian, Meanjin, Kill Your Darlings, Adelaide Review, Crikey and Junkee, among other outlets. In 2018 she was the recipient of the Kill Your Darlings New Critics Award, and her essay ‘I’m Trying to Tell You I’m Not Okay’ was longlisted for the Lifted Brow & RMIT non/fictionLab Prize for Experimental Non-fiction. She lives in Adelaide on Kaurna Country.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
October 4, 2020
Kylie is a friend of mine, so I'm probably a bit biased, but this is spectacular. Smart, funny and accessible book about living with chronic pain and mental illness all told through the lens of a brilliant cultural critic. Highly recommended.
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June 10, 2022The following book reviews have been shared by Text Publishing – publisher of Show Me Where It Hurts
‘Show Me Where It Hurts is remarkable for the way in which it balances humour and rage as it charts the injuries and injustices—as well as the moments of solace and love—that come with living with chronic illness and pain. Maslen’s writing is quick and sharp, and keen on addressing stigma and taboos. This is a fascinating account of visual representations of illnesses that are unseen, and of what it means to reconsider and to continue to live a life that has been changed by disability and disease.’
Fiona Wright
‘Everyone must read Show Me Where It Hurts. This collection of essays about chronic pain and invisible illness not only validates and represents the experiences of those who have too long been ignored, gaslighted or diminished by medical professionals and wider society, but acts as a much-needed wake-up call for those who are able-bodied yet presume to know what it might be like to live with disability. Maslen is a writer of formidable intelligence and has an uncanny ability to pull apart the fabric of popular culture to reveal the prejudices threaded throughout. Show Me Where It Hurts is honest, powerful and brilliant. It will change minds.’
Hannah Kent
‘In this generous and urgent book, Kylie Maslen has built a wide, sensory world that charts a history of invisible illness with tenderness and clarity. Show Me Where It Hurts will forge true understanding between a world that causes or ignores pain, and those that bear its load.’
Brodie Lancaster
‘It is liberating to read Maslen’s tireless probe into the anatomy of the chronic illnesses that have for years exhausted her body. Maslen is meticulous, diagnosing what else is invisible alongside her illness—pain, isolation, grief, sacrifice, repetition and the failure of others to understand. She generously lays bare what sickness steals and what it leaves behind. This book is obligatory reading for anyone who wants to better understand and love someone who is suffering.’
Gina Rushton
‘Show Me Where It Hurts gives new energy to the unspeakable grind of chronic illness—it’s arresting, honest and rightfully angry. An essential read for anyone who cares about anyone else.’
Anna Spargo-Ryan
‘[Kylie Maslen’s] confessional style helps illuminate the misogyny of a medical establishment that frequently disbelieves or underplays women’s health problems...Show Me Where It Hurts is a timely and engaging essay collection for readers of nonfiction that’s unflinching yet compassionate, such as Clare Bowditch’s Your Own Kind of Girl and Lisa Taddeo’s Three Women.’
Books+Publishing
‘[A] powerful debut.’
West Australian
‘Show Me Where It Hurts is an immediately immersive personal essay collection that explores the experience of chronic pain…[it is] passionate and intermittently joyful, too.’
InDaily
‘It’s this chronicling of a life lived in pain combined with her insights into the structures of work, ableism and housing, as well as the representation of mental ill health, disability and illness in books, TV, movies and more, that makes Maslen’s book so incisive.’
Broadsheet
‘A worthy read that does not mystify ‘female’ illness, but rather shows the ordinariness of constant, huge, belittled, life-altering pain.’
Feminist Writers Festival
‘Maslen's book feels comparable to works such as Fiona Wright's The World Was Whole or Katerina Bryant's Hysteria; to Michaela Coel's series I May Destroy You or Hannah Gadsby's Nanette. Indeed, her writing harnesses the same kind of vertiginous style that made Gadsby's breakthrough so resonant: examining problems until, having categorically exhausted them, there is nowhere left to go…[Show Me Where it Hurts] often manages a kind of heady brilliance.’
Sydney Morning Herald
'[Maslen] has managed to tap into finding a description for how [chronic pain] feels and that is just goddamn valuable...It’s completely possible that my neurologist will get highlighted bits of Kylie Maslen’s book when I rock up to see him, because she can explain it better than I can.’
Anonymous Was A Woman Podcast
‘You might call this the beginnings of an Empathy Exams for the Australian psyche...Show Me Where it Hurts is essential reading for those of us with the privilege of having a body that behaves itself, and anyone who seeks to better love and care for others.’
Australian Book Review
‘[Kylie Maslen’s] carefully researched essays demand the reader to see her as a whole person, one whose life is both similar to and different from theirs...Maslen interrogates what a fulfilled life looks like, inviting readers to reflect on their own body, how it is perceived and the structures that enable, or inhibit, one’s choices.’
Saturday Paper
‘A corporeal rebellion...In writing of [her] chronic and mental illnesses, [Maslen ruptures] the narrative that a successful body is a well body, and [opens] a space for new and original accounts of how those bodies mediate the world.’
Sydney Review of Books
'Maslen delivers observations about the entrenched ableism in Australian society with a charming frankness that make this thought-provoking debut memorable.’
Bec Kavanagh, Guardian
'Maslen writes generously, neither apologising for nor beclouding the banal and fraught reality of everyday life with chronic and painful illness…[Her] story is one of acceptance coupled with the radical pursuit to find beauty in the quiet; to survive and cultivate an understanding of one’s self and one’s body amid the state’s inability to do so. At this point, it’s possible that this is all that one can do and it’s a feat that Maslen has taken on and documented remarkably.’
InDaily
'Show Me Where it Hurts is an important book simply for existing, for giving voice to those previously voiceless in literature, and for critiquing our ableist society in the hope that even one reader might understand more clearly…We can look towards books like this for honest, ferocious examinations that normalise rather than pedestalise, advocate rather than purport victory. I have no doubt this book will put Maslen in high demand and we’ll be seeing her name more and more.’
Rochford Street Review
‘[A collection] that discusses the experience of chronic illness and the way it can reshape a life, writing with great intelligence, heart and humour.’
Fiona Wright
‘A powerful essay collection that blends criticism and memoir to explore living with invisible illness.’
Alice Cottrell, Kill Your Darlings
‘Maslen’s essays, acutely intimate, underpinned by an engaged and wide-ranging intelligence, mostly inhabit a kind of ebb and flow, shifting between experience and cultural reflection...Maslen, and others writing with grit and wisdom, not only foster our empathy and understanding but spur us towards solidarity, to work together for a world of radical care.’
Meanjin
‘A Millennial masterpiece. It is many things: confessional literature, a review of pop culture and a fight for disability awareness and representation all at once. A source of both tears and laughter, the book comes with an important message.’
Alekszandra Rokvity, Intima
‘Show Me Where It Hurts is remarkable for the way in which it balances humour and rage as it charts the injuries and injustices—as well as the moments of solace and love—that come with living with chronic illness and pain. Maslen’s writing is quick and sharp, and keen on addressing stigma and taboos. This is a fascinating account of visual representations of illnesses that are unseen, and of what it means to reconsider and to continue to live a life that has been changed by disability and disease.’
Fiona Wright
‘Everyone must read Show Me Where It Hurts. This collection of essays about chronic pain and invisible illness not only validates and represents the experiences of those who have too long been ignored, gaslighted or diminished by medical professionals and wider society, but acts as a much-needed wake-up call for those who are able-bodied yet presume to know what it might be like to live with disability. Maslen is a writer of formidable intelligence and has an uncanny ability to pull apart the fabric of popular culture to reveal the prejudices threaded throughout. Show Me Where It Hurts is honest, powerful and brilliant. It will change minds.’
Hannah Kent
‘In this generous and urgent book, Kylie Maslen has built a wide, sensory world that charts a history of invisible illness with tenderness and clarity. Show Me Where It Hurts will forge true understanding between a world that causes or ignores pain, and those that bear its load.’
Brodie Lancaster
‘It is liberating to read Maslen’s tireless probe into the anatomy of the chronic illnesses that have for years exhausted her body. Maslen is meticulous, diagnosing what else is invisible alongside her illness—pain, isolation, grief, sacrifice, repetition and the failure of others to understand. She generously lays bare what sickness steals and what it leaves behind. This book is obligatory reading for anyone who wants to better understand and love someone who is suffering.’
Gina Rushton
‘Show Me Where It Hurts gives new energy to the unspeakable grind of chronic illness—it’s arresting, honest and rightfully angry. An essential read for anyone who cares about anyone else.’
Anna Spargo-Ryan
‘[Kylie Maslen’s] confessional style helps illuminate the misogyny of a medical establishment that frequently disbelieves or underplays women’s health problems...Show Me Where It Hurts is a timely and engaging essay collection for readers of nonfiction that’s unflinching yet compassionate, such as Clare Bowditch’s Your Own Kind of Girl and Lisa Taddeo’s Three Women.’
Books+Publishing
‘[A] powerful debut.’
West Australian
‘Show Me Where It Hurts is an immediately immersive personal essay collection that explores the experience of chronic pain…[it is] passionate and intermittently joyful, too.’
InDaily
‘It’s this chronicling of a life lived in pain combined with her insights into the structures of work, ableism and housing, as well as the representation of mental ill health, disability and illness in books, TV, movies and more, that makes Maslen’s book so incisive.’
Broadsheet
‘A worthy read that does not mystify ‘female’ illness, but rather shows the ordinariness of constant, huge, belittled, life-altering pain.’
Feminist Writers Festival
‘Maslen's book feels comparable to works such as Fiona Wright's The World Was Whole or Katerina Bryant's Hysteria; to Michaela Coel's series I May Destroy You or Hannah Gadsby's Nanette. Indeed, her writing harnesses the same kind of vertiginous style that made Gadsby's breakthrough so resonant: examining problems until, having categorically exhausted them, there is nowhere left to go…[Show Me Where it Hurts] often manages a kind of heady brilliance.’
Sydney Morning Herald
'[Maslen] has managed to tap into finding a description for how [chronic pain] feels and that is just goddamn valuable...It’s completely possible that my neurologist will get highlighted bits of Kylie Maslen’s book when I rock up to see him, because she can explain it better than I can.’
Anonymous Was A Woman Podcast
‘You might call this the beginnings of an Empathy Exams for the Australian psyche...Show Me Where it Hurts is essential reading for those of us with the privilege of having a body that behaves itself, and anyone who seeks to better love and care for others.’
Australian Book Review
‘[Kylie Maslen’s] carefully researched essays demand the reader to see her as a whole person, one whose life is both similar to and different from theirs...Maslen interrogates what a fulfilled life looks like, inviting readers to reflect on their own body, how it is perceived and the structures that enable, or inhibit, one’s choices.’
Saturday Paper
‘A corporeal rebellion...In writing of [her] chronic and mental illnesses, [Maslen ruptures] the narrative that a successful body is a well body, and [opens] a space for new and original accounts of how those bodies mediate the world.’
Sydney Review of Books
'Maslen delivers observations about the entrenched ableism in Australian society with a charming frankness that make this thought-provoking debut memorable.’
Bec Kavanagh, Guardian
'Maslen writes generously, neither apologising for nor beclouding the banal and fraught reality of everyday life with chronic and painful illness…[Her] story is one of acceptance coupled with the radical pursuit to find beauty in the quiet; to survive and cultivate an understanding of one’s self and one’s body amid the state’s inability to do so. At this point, it’s possible that this is all that one can do and it’s a feat that Maslen has taken on and documented remarkably.’
InDaily
'Show Me Where it Hurts is an important book simply for existing, for giving voice to those previously voiceless in literature, and for critiquing our ableist society in the hope that even one reader might understand more clearly…We can look towards books like this for honest, ferocious examinations that normalise rather than pedestalise, advocate rather than purport victory. I have no doubt this book will put Maslen in high demand and we’ll be seeing her name more and more.’
Rochford Street Review
‘[A collection] that discusses the experience of chronic illness and the way it can reshape a life, writing with great intelligence, heart and humour.’
Fiona Wright
‘A powerful essay collection that blends criticism and memoir to explore living with invisible illness.’
Alice Cottrell, Kill Your Darlings
‘Maslen’s essays, acutely intimate, underpinned by an engaged and wide-ranging intelligence, mostly inhabit a kind of ebb and flow, shifting between experience and cultural reflection...Maslen, and others writing with grit and wisdom, not only foster our empathy and understanding but spur us towards solidarity, to work together for a world of radical care.’
Meanjin
‘A Millennial masterpiece. It is many things: confessional literature, a review of pop culture and a fight for disability awareness and representation all at once. A source of both tears and laughter, the book comes with an important message.’
Alekszandra Rokvity, Intima
February 18, 2021
In a culture that wants to render disability and pain invisible, Maslen centres her life lived with chronic illness through a pop culture lens. I wasn’t familiar with many of those references but that did not diminish the power of Maslen’s lived truth. The strongest essay was The Fetishisation of Frida about Kahlo’s commodification and our erasure of her disability. I became interested in women and pain after reading Jamison’s final essay in The Empathy Exams in 2015 (it’s not a coincidence that my PCOS was diagnosed around this time) and books like Maslen’s expand my understanding. This is an act of generosity on her part and I’m grateful.
September 8, 2020
This was such an excellent read, combining memoir with smart pop culture criticism for a thoughtful and moving treatise on invisible illness and mental health. Particularly loved the essay on the commodification of Frida Kahlo’s image and erasure of her disability. Highly recommend this collection.
April 28, 2021
Our April book for #DisabilityReads was Show Me Where it Hurts.
Show Me Where it Hurts is Kylie’s memoir of living with long term chronic illness. It’s written in essay format - which makes it an accessible read - I dipped in and out of essays on my commute to work and in bed.
Kylie explains the complexities of being chronically ill - including the impact on work, finances, housing, romantic relationships, friendships and mental health. She also explains how frustrating a patriarchal medical system is - with conditions often going undiagnosed and sometimes untreated. Much of the memoir was relatable to me, as a chronically ill and disabled woman.
As a dedicated fan myself, I really found an affinity with Kylie’s fandoms - she has many - Spongebob Squarepants, Beyoncé, Sally Rooney and her beloved Richmond Football Club.
My favourite chapter was ‘The Fetishisation of Frida’, where Kylie examines the cultural obsession with Frida Kahlo, and emphases that chronic illness and disability cannot be separated from who we are.
Show Me Where it Hurts left me thinking about the power of fandom for chronically ill and disabled people - so much of my life has been improved by fandom, particularly during hard medical times; and Keah Brown has also written extensively on fandom and pop culture. However, I did get lost with some of the pop culture and meme references.
Kylie is a strong writer and her research really complemented her personal memoir. And she does a great job in explaining how disability doesn’t mean our bodies are at fault - society is at fault for all the barriers we encounter. She writes:
“My body dictates who I am. I work the way I do because of my body, I vote the way I do because of my body and I live the way I do because of my body. It is not my body that is at fault, but society’s failure to deal with bodies like mine. I might be in pain, but I am whole. I refuse to have the difficult parts cropped out.”
Text has published some amazing disabled writers recently - including Kylie, Kay Kerr, and Fi Murphy - it’s thrilling to see a publisher’s commitment to #OwnVoices.
Thanks Kylie for writing this, I am excited to see what you write next.
💙
Show Me Where it Hurts is Kylie’s memoir of living with long term chronic illness. It’s written in essay format - which makes it an accessible read - I dipped in and out of essays on my commute to work and in bed.
Kylie explains the complexities of being chronically ill - including the impact on work, finances, housing, romantic relationships, friendships and mental health. She also explains how frustrating a patriarchal medical system is - with conditions often going undiagnosed and sometimes untreated. Much of the memoir was relatable to me, as a chronically ill and disabled woman.
As a dedicated fan myself, I really found an affinity with Kylie’s fandoms - she has many - Spongebob Squarepants, Beyoncé, Sally Rooney and her beloved Richmond Football Club.
My favourite chapter was ‘The Fetishisation of Frida’, where Kylie examines the cultural obsession with Frida Kahlo, and emphases that chronic illness and disability cannot be separated from who we are.
Show Me Where it Hurts left me thinking about the power of fandom for chronically ill and disabled people - so much of my life has been improved by fandom, particularly during hard medical times; and Keah Brown has also written extensively on fandom and pop culture. However, I did get lost with some of the pop culture and meme references.
Kylie is a strong writer and her research really complemented her personal memoir. And she does a great job in explaining how disability doesn’t mean our bodies are at fault - society is at fault for all the barriers we encounter. She writes:
“My body dictates who I am. I work the way I do because of my body, I vote the way I do because of my body and I live the way I do because of my body. It is not my body that is at fault, but society’s failure to deal with bodies like mine. I might be in pain, but I am whole. I refuse to have the difficult parts cropped out.”
Text has published some amazing disabled writers recently - including Kylie, Kay Kerr, and Fi Murphy - it’s thrilling to see a publisher’s commitment to #OwnVoices.
Thanks Kylie for writing this, I am excited to see what you write next.
💙
September 28, 2020
I’ll admit, I was going to pass on Show
Me Where It Hurts - simply because I read a lot about women and bodies and trauma and illness and mental health and sexuality - but I’m glad I didn’t, because Maslen definitely has a unique voice and point of difference in this landscape.
The book consists of essays, each blending pop culture analysis with personal testimony/memoir. This allows Maslen to tell her individual story but also a broader one of the lived experience of people with disability.
My favourite essays were Retirement, Living which explores the housing crisis in Australia and new ways of forming community and support networks for older women, and The Fetishization of Frida which discusses the commodification of Frida Kahlo’s work and image and the erasure of her disability. I also really appreciated Ask Me Where It Hurts, where Maslen is more generous with her own story.
It is obvious in Creation that Maslen is a Beyoncé fan girl through and through, which is totally fine, but I don’t think Beyoncé is quite as in control of her life as this essay indicates. She grew up with a very controlling father, and her husband is also pretty problematic. This essay in particular could have benefitted from some critique.
If this book resonated with you I’m sure you will appreciate Fiona Wright’s books (who mentored Maslen through writing this book), Lucia Osborne-Crawley’s essay I Choose Elena, and also We Are Speaking in Code by Tanya Vavilova, which covers similar ground but hasn’t been as widely publicized.
Me Where It Hurts - simply because I read a lot about women and bodies and trauma and illness and mental health and sexuality - but I’m glad I didn’t, because Maslen definitely has a unique voice and point of difference in this landscape.
The book consists of essays, each blending pop culture analysis with personal testimony/memoir. This allows Maslen to tell her individual story but also a broader one of the lived experience of people with disability.
My favourite essays were Retirement, Living which explores the housing crisis in Australia and new ways of forming community and support networks for older women, and The Fetishization of Frida which discusses the commodification of Frida Kahlo’s work and image and the erasure of her disability. I also really appreciated Ask Me Where It Hurts, where Maslen is more generous with her own story.
It is obvious in Creation that Maslen is a Beyoncé fan girl through and through, which is totally fine, but I don’t think Beyoncé is quite as in control of her life as this essay indicates. She grew up with a very controlling father, and her husband is also pretty problematic. This essay in particular could have benefitted from some critique.
If this book resonated with you I’m sure you will appreciate Fiona Wright’s books (who mentored Maslen through writing this book), Lucia Osborne-Crawley’s essay I Choose Elena, and also We Are Speaking in Code by Tanya Vavilova, which covers similar ground but hasn’t been as widely publicized.
August 21, 2020
I’m so grateful for this book and for Kylie for sharing her experience living with her invisible illness(es).
Through this collection of essays, Kylie recounts what it’s like to live with chronic pain - not only the physical agony itself, but also the mundanity, the frustration, and other overlooked intricacies that those who are able-bodied may not put too much thoughts into.
I love the way she seamlessy draws the connection between these elements to modern pop culture references. Some of these include Beyoncé, Frida Kahlo, Friends, and even an analysis on how memes are used by those who are chronically ill as a source of comfort and talking points 👏🏼
Kylie’s writing is poignant and unflinchingly honest, and yet still so intelligent, clear-eyed and even humorous. It’s a superb encapsulation of living life in pain as a woman and how the society treats us as a result.
As someone who has been suffering from chronic migraine for the majority of my adult life, this book has highly resonated with me. I’d urge everyone who goes through similar experiences, or knows someone who does, to pick it up. But that’s not all - as it’s been blurbed, it’s an essential read for anyone who cares about anyone else.
Some of my favourite quotes:
💬 “We hide our pain from the world where we can so that we can still be the friend who goes to parties, who dances, who is seen as sexually attractive and who makes people laugh.”
💬 “It is not my body that is at fault, but society’s failure to deal with bodies like mine. I might be in pain, but i am whole. I refuse to have the difficult parts cropped out.”
Through this collection of essays, Kylie recounts what it’s like to live with chronic pain - not only the physical agony itself, but also the mundanity, the frustration, and other overlooked intricacies that those who are able-bodied may not put too much thoughts into.
I love the way she seamlessy draws the connection between these elements to modern pop culture references. Some of these include Beyoncé, Frida Kahlo, Friends, and even an analysis on how memes are used by those who are chronically ill as a source of comfort and talking points 👏🏼
Kylie’s writing is poignant and unflinchingly honest, and yet still so intelligent, clear-eyed and even humorous. It’s a superb encapsulation of living life in pain as a woman and how the society treats us as a result.
As someone who has been suffering from chronic migraine for the majority of my adult life, this book has highly resonated with me. I’d urge everyone who goes through similar experiences, or knows someone who does, to pick it up. But that’s not all - as it’s been blurbed, it’s an essential read for anyone who cares about anyone else.
Some of my favourite quotes:
💬 “We hide our pain from the world where we can so that we can still be the friend who goes to parties, who dances, who is seen as sexually attractive and who makes people laugh.”
💬 “It is not my body that is at fault, but society’s failure to deal with bodies like mine. I might be in pain, but i am whole. I refuse to have the difficult parts cropped out.”
May 2, 2021
I read this so quickly just because I could relate to Kylie’s frustration at living with an invisible illness. No one ‘gets it’ unless you have something like this. My health differs from Kylie’s but I still have constant chronic pain every single day. It’s rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia and other issues relating to it. I wake up in pain and go to bed in pain but medication may take the edge off or not at all at times. This is a story of a young girl trying to get on with her life with a debilitating illness and I can truly empathise. Well written but I did find it a bit repetitive at times but then that’s our life with an invisible illness from when we get abused for using a disability parking permit to someone who says but you look well and you know they don’t believe you so you just say nothing. You can be surrounded by so many people yet still feel so alone! Yes I envy those people with energy and good health as I once was like that too. A great read for those struggling to understand a friend with an invisible illness.
August 1, 2020
‘Expanding people’s empathy is a burdensome task, a life’s work.’
This book is an unflinching, generous act of empathy expansion. Kylie's writing is filled with candour, ferocity, clarity, patience and heart. Her essays prompted me to reflect deeply on how chronic illness is experienced by those I know and in the world more broadly, and to consider the many insidious ways our society invisibilises disability. Kylie is a beautiful writer, and Show Me Where It Hurts is truly special.
This book is an unflinching, generous act of empathy expansion. Kylie's writing is filled with candour, ferocity, clarity, patience and heart. Her essays prompted me to reflect deeply on how chronic illness is experienced by those I know and in the world more broadly, and to consider the many insidious ways our society invisibilises disability. Kylie is a beautiful writer, and Show Me Where It Hurts is truly special.
January 17, 2021
2
Thank you, Mum, for getting me this for my birthday.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
Yeah, not my jam. I mean, the subject matter is most definitely my jam because I am an endometriosis sufferer as well. However, this was just poorly constructed and written. If you are reading this review, Kylie, which I highly doubt, I want to say that everything you wrote about in this is valid and you deserve to be praised for speaking out on a largely taboo topic. But I am sorry, this just was not good.
The writing in Show Me Where it Hurts was pretty mediocre in my opinion, not outright bad, but definitely not good. I was genuinely surprised by that. I also just think that this suffered from, I
am hoping, a lack of research. Just because you have a chronic illness, does not mean you know everything about it (trust me as someone who has one). She said certain things that made me convinced that, though she said things with certainty as though backed by science, it was just based on personal experience. Also, I am sorry, but her Beyonce chapter was just so stupid. No chapter felt linked, nor did they have any real purpose.
I guess that is the heart of what was wrong with this - it had no point. You could be the most interesting or most boring person on earth, but without a point to your memoir, everything can crash and burn super easily. There was no clear audience, no purpose that was evident throughout the book.... I don't know. Although speaking of very vulnerable things, it felt like it had no heart. No thread.
A personal thing which I cannot fault the author/book for is that I could not relate to a lot of what was described. I have severe endometriosis, have had pain since the age of 8, which thus means a lot of what Maslen has experienced, so have I. But my goodness, there was nothing that made me feel heard, seen or anything of the like.
I am so sorry. I had such high hopes and wanted nothing more than to love this. But I simply didn't.
If you are looking for books which I aDORE which are similar in tone, please refer to
Ask Me About My Uterus (my fave book of all time)
and Pain and Prejudice
Thank you, Mum, for getting me this for my birthday.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
Yeah, not my jam. I mean, the subject matter is most definitely my jam because I am an endometriosis sufferer as well. However, this was just poorly constructed and written. If you are reading this review, Kylie, which I highly doubt, I want to say that everything you wrote about in this is valid and you deserve to be praised for speaking out on a largely taboo topic. But I am sorry, this just was not good.
The writing in Show Me Where it Hurts was pretty mediocre in my opinion, not outright bad, but definitely not good. I was genuinely surprised by that. I also just think that this suffered from, I
am hoping, a lack of research. Just because you have a chronic illness, does not mean you know everything about it (trust me as someone who has one). She said certain things that made me convinced that, though she said things with certainty as though backed by science, it was just based on personal experience. Also, I am sorry, but her Beyonce chapter was just so stupid. No chapter felt linked, nor did they have any real purpose.
I guess that is the heart of what was wrong with this - it had no point. You could be the most interesting or most boring person on earth, but without a point to your memoir, everything can crash and burn super easily. There was no clear audience, no purpose that was evident throughout the book.... I don't know. Although speaking of very vulnerable things, it felt like it had no heart. No thread.
A personal thing which I cannot fault the author/book for is that I could not relate to a lot of what was described. I have severe endometriosis, have had pain since the age of 8, which thus means a lot of what Maslen has experienced, so have I. But my goodness, there was nothing that made me feel heard, seen or anything of the like.
I am so sorry. I had such high hopes and wanted nothing more than to love this. But I simply didn't.
If you are looking for books which I aDORE which are similar in tone, please refer to
Ask Me About My Uterus (my fave book of all time)
and Pain and Prejudice
January 7, 2021
This book was incredibly insightful and I am so glad I read it. Kylie Maslen gives an honest depiction of her experience living with chronic pain, disability and mental illness, whilst discussing how these topics are presented in the media and wider society. Maslen importantly highlights how the invisibility of illness largely comes from people (commonly medical professionals) in society failing to listen to and validate the experience of people who live with them. I will be taking what I have read with me as I move through my own training in healthcare.
September 4, 2020
I tried to read this slowly so I could soak it in like a hot bath; unfortunately I couldn’t put the bloody thing down!
So here we are, a couple of hours later and I might just get the Epsom salts out again. There’s a lot to think deeply about in Show Me Where It Hurts, and yet I never felt overwhelmed or without hope. Maslen gently reveals the structural inequities of the world we live in through familiar and comforting references to pop culture, with her own experiences acting to anchor the structural to the personal.
While framed around Maslen’s personal experience, Show Me Where It Hurts is in no way self indulgent (something I often struggle with when reading personal essays); rather it is intensely generous. Centred here is a clear desire for kinship and community, and a confident understanding that her gift for organising and articulating complexity in a way that gently invites compassion is a beautiful way to cultivate both. x
So here we are, a couple of hours later and I might just get the Epsom salts out again. There’s a lot to think deeply about in Show Me Where It Hurts, and yet I never felt overwhelmed or without hope. Maslen gently reveals the structural inequities of the world we live in through familiar and comforting references to pop culture, with her own experiences acting to anchor the structural to the personal.
While framed around Maslen’s personal experience, Show Me Where It Hurts is in no way self indulgent (something I often struggle with when reading personal essays); rather it is intensely generous. Centred here is a clear desire for kinship and community, and a confident understanding that her gift for organising and articulating complexity in a way that gently invites compassion is a beautiful way to cultivate both. x
February 2, 2021
Such an important essay collection, with a conversational and engaging tone. Essential reading for anyone with a chronic illness or disability and their loved ones.
December 9, 2020
I’m so glad this book is good because it’s really hard to critique books like this - how can you possibly say anything critical when the author writes such an honest and unfiltered account of their lived experience? Maslen has such a strong voice - each essay is incredibly eloquent and well-crafted, and really gives you an insight into her experience. Frustration and anger are brilliantly balanced with humour, making the difficult but important topics covered a bit easier to digest without the authors words losing any power.
My favourite essays “I’m Trying to Tell You I’m Not Ok” and “The Fetishisation of Frida”.
The parts of the books dealing with mental illness were a little difficult for me. I admit that as a person who has lost 2 immediate family members to suicide and usually chooses the path of avoidance for self-preservation I skimmed these parts, particularly the essays at the end. Maslen does provide helpful trigger warnings at the beginning and at the start of each essay, but I’d recommend leaving this one on the shelf if you’re struggling at the moment. You can read it later.
But I really recommend this book - particularly for people without disabilities. It’ll be one that I’ll be thinking about for a long time.
My favourite essays “I’m Trying to Tell You I’m Not Ok” and “The Fetishisation of Frida”.
The parts of the books dealing with mental illness were a little difficult for me. I admit that as a person who has lost 2 immediate family members to suicide and usually chooses the path of avoidance for self-preservation I skimmed these parts, particularly the essays at the end. Maslen does provide helpful trigger warnings at the beginning and at the start of each essay, but I’d recommend leaving this one on the shelf if you’re struggling at the moment. You can read it later.
But I really recommend this book - particularly for people without disabilities. It’ll be one that I’ll be thinking about for a long time.
December 29, 2021
At times difficult to read, especially in her recollections of doctors with zero empathy, because it's something so many of us have experienced in one way or another. In saying that, one of my favourite essays in Maslen's work focuses on the commodification of artist Frida Khalo who also suffered illness throughout her life and the bits consumers choose to ignore about her. I also liked the essay about the "Hollywood" portrayal of those living with illness also. A good insight into how one negotiates life living with chronic pain.
October 31, 2023
This book is fiercely intelligent, honest, moving and relatable. I am perhaps it’s perfect audience, as a woman in my 30s living with invisible illness, including endo. It is incredibly validating and powerful to read of Maslens experience. This book is brilliant.
December 28, 2020
"In her debut collection of essays Show Me Where It Hurts, Kylie Maslen blends memoir and cultural commentary to paint a picture of what it’s like to live with chronic, invisible illnesses as a woman whose pain is minimised or dismissed by an inhumane, often misogynistic medical establishment."
Read the rest of my thoughts on the MWF blog: https://mwf.com.au/blog/what-were-rea...
Read the rest of my thoughts on the MWF blog: https://mwf.com.au/blog/what-were-rea...
April 19, 2021
This is a great book. It puts disability into a cultural and media context.
It's achingly honest, very funny, clever and very human.
Totally recommended
It's achingly honest, very funny, clever and very human.
Totally recommended
February 26, 2021
'When I'm spending hours in bed or on the couch reading, watching TV or scrolling through my phone, I know the pain I'm in isn't reflected in my face. I am rarely emotionally moved during painful days like these - it's as if all my ability to express myself is committed to my pelvic muscles and nerves. They will decide when to relax, when to feel free, when to be angry. My brain and the rest of my body are coming along for the ride.'
Living with chronic health conditions is an isolating experience, especially when the health condition is poorly understood by medical practitioners and can evoke stigma or objectification.
Maslan expounds her lived experience with what she describes as her 'invisible illnesses ' in ten essays that focus on different aspects of living with chronic health. The essays include positive and negative pop culture references and openly interrogate different topics such as living with and expressing pain, developing relationships, the desire to have children and fears around retirement. Before each essay, trigger warnings are included to ensure the safety of the reader.
There is a warmth and an honesty to Maslan's writing that I instantly engaged with and I found each essay opened up different issues, revealing insights that complimented and conveyed a wholeness or more simply, a sense of, 'getting the full picture,' by the end of the collection.
My favourite essay was 'The Fetishisation of Frida Kahlo', that explores the commodification of the artist over the complexity of her reality.
Living with chronic health conditions is an isolating experience, especially when the health condition is poorly understood by medical practitioners and can evoke stigma or objectification.
Maslan expounds her lived experience with what she describes as her 'invisible illnesses ' in ten essays that focus on different aspects of living with chronic health. The essays include positive and negative pop culture references and openly interrogate different topics such as living with and expressing pain, developing relationships, the desire to have children and fears around retirement. Before each essay, trigger warnings are included to ensure the safety of the reader.
There is a warmth and an honesty to Maslan's writing that I instantly engaged with and I found each essay opened up different issues, revealing insights that complimented and conveyed a wholeness or more simply, a sense of, 'getting the full picture,' by the end of the collection.
My favourite essay was 'The Fetishisation of Frida Kahlo', that explores the commodification of the artist over the complexity of her reality.
December 24, 2020
This is the first book I've read on chronic illness where I've genuinely felt understood. Not only from a medical point of view, but culturally as well. Given Maslen also grew up in Australia I think it's clear that the attitudes to illness, visible or not, in this country deeply impact how those with chronic pain internalise certain struggles. Her articulation of relationship endeavours, the never-ending when will you get better chats, isolation, empathy and feeling seen (or not) by pop-culture hit home, pretty hard. I went away from reading this with better ways of articulating my situation to people in my life. And better ways of accepting it within myself.
December 12, 2021
DNF. Such an important issue but the style of disconnected essays on a similar topic by the same author wasn’t what I was hoping for, and despite being in a similar demographic to Maslen the pop culture references didn’t resonate. The tone also gave me a too-cool-for-school vibe of someone who would turn her nose up at an upbeat nerd like me, though perhaps that says more about my own insecurities and biases than the book or author. I preferred “Unseen” by Jacinta Parsons.
September 13, 2020
This is a spectacularly relatable and insightful read on living with chronic pain and invisible disability. This was such a valuable look into not just the reality of dealing with endometriosis in an ill-prepared medical system, but also identifying the systemic and cultural forces that contribute. Despite that, this was very readable - hopefully that means plenty do.
October 2, 2020
This beautifully clear essay collection is equal parts memoir and cultural criticism. It's a powerful voice for those living with endometriosis and complex mental illness - a wonderful bridge been those with lived experience and their support networks.
January 7, 2021
Moving, personal but valuable to anyone who has ever experienced an invisible illness or who doesn't want to be a jerk to people that have. I especially liked how maslen actively fights against the idea of 'getting better' as for so many of us this can never be an achievable goal.
February 10, 2023
2.5 stars
1st essay - Show Me Where It Hurts - 5 stars. I wasn't interested in the quasi-academic article mixed with memoir and pop culture nature of the rest of the them
1st essay - Show Me Where It Hurts - 5 stars. I wasn't interested in the quasi-academic article mixed with memoir and pop culture nature of the rest of the them
March 21, 2023
"Show Me Where it Hurts: Living with Invisible Illness" by Kylie Maslen is a deeply personal and thought-provoking exploration of the challenges faced by those living with invisible illnesses. Maslen, who suffers from chronic pain herself, provides a compassionate and insightful account of the physical, emotional, and social impacts of living with an invisible illness.
The book is a mix of memoir and research, with Maslen weaving her own experiences with interviews and studies on invisible illnesses. She covers a range of topics, from the difficulties of getting a diagnosis and navigating the healthcare system, to the impact of stigma and the challenges of managing daily life with a chronic condition.
As someone who does not have the same diagnosis as Maslen, but also lives with chronic pain and disability, I found "Show Me Where it Hurts" to be an incredibly validating and relatable read. Maslen's candid sharing of her own experiences resonated with me deeply and made me feel seen, perhaps for the first time since everything changed for me.
Maslen's writing is engaging and accessible, making this an excellent read for both those living with invisible illnesses and those looking to gain a better understanding of the experiences of others. Overall, "Show Me Where it Hurts" is an important and timely contribution to the conversation around invisible illnesses and the need for greater awareness and support.
The book is a mix of memoir and research, with Maslen weaving her own experiences with interviews and studies on invisible illnesses. She covers a range of topics, from the difficulties of getting a diagnosis and navigating the healthcare system, to the impact of stigma and the challenges of managing daily life with a chronic condition.
As someone who does not have the same diagnosis as Maslen, but also lives with chronic pain and disability, I found "Show Me Where it Hurts" to be an incredibly validating and relatable read. Maslen's candid sharing of her own experiences resonated with me deeply and made me feel seen, perhaps for the first time since everything changed for me.
Maslen's writing is engaging and accessible, making this an excellent read for both those living with invisible illnesses and those looking to gain a better understanding of the experiences of others. Overall, "Show Me Where it Hurts" is an important and timely contribution to the conversation around invisible illnesses and the need for greater awareness and support.
November 22, 2020
Statistically, half of your friends live with some kind of chronic condition, so when we look to art and pop-culture, why aren’t anomalous bodies depicted in their everydayness? Why aren’t there more common sense discussions about the ableist society in which we live? Show Me Where It Hurts: Living with Invisible Illness is a tactile reaction to these questions.
Debut author Kylie Maslen lives with endometriosis and bipolar 2, two fairly common chronic illnesses that are somehow expected to be hidden away and dealt with in private, as if they’re too peculiar for other’s to comprehend, as if they’re so frightening they risk causing unnecessary discomfort. Maslen refuses to play nicely. In putting out a book such as this, the author must deal in a currency based on vulnerability, but Maslen’s voice is always authoritative. She’s confident in her views, in her values and in her body. She seems as comfortable referencing Spongebob Squarepants memes when talking about ways she’s learned to live with pain, as she is discussing the fetishization of Frido Kahlo and the danger of not viewing art as both personal and political when the artist is one with a disability.
The rest of this review can be found here:
https://rochfordstreetreview.com/2020...
Debut author Kylie Maslen lives with endometriosis and bipolar 2, two fairly common chronic illnesses that are somehow expected to be hidden away and dealt with in private, as if they’re too peculiar for other’s to comprehend, as if they’re so frightening they risk causing unnecessary discomfort. Maslen refuses to play nicely. In putting out a book such as this, the author must deal in a currency based on vulnerability, but Maslen’s voice is always authoritative. She’s confident in her views, in her values and in her body. She seems as comfortable referencing Spongebob Squarepants memes when talking about ways she’s learned to live with pain, as she is discussing the fetishization of Frido Kahlo and the danger of not viewing art as both personal and political when the artist is one with a disability.
The rest of this review can be found here:
https://rochfordstreetreview.com/2020...
April 20, 2021
TW: mental health, suicide themes, substance and alcohol use, reproductive health themes and family violence.
Thank you to Kylie Maslen for this book. As someone who experiences multiple invisible illnesses, some that are spoken about in this book, it was refreshing to read and say YES YES YES when speaking of managing chronic pain, using other vices to cope and having doctors and specialists not know what to do. So many experiences of repeating to the doctor to even get a referral, to then be on a never ending waitlist to then go into surgery, to only have the joy of having a chronic illness pop back up and around we go again.
This book focuses on essays regarding personal experiences of managing, living and dealing with ongoing chronic pain. It shines a light on how debilitating invisible illnesses are, and that just because "you look well" doesn't mean that you "are well". I especially loved "a playlist for the love sick" section, singing the songs in my head whilst reading along.
I appreciate anyone who is an advocate of invisible illnesses and this is a topic that should be thrust into the spotlight for all those to see, those who exeprience chronic pain, know someone who does, or has absolutely no idea about what chronic pain is and the vast array of ways each individual attempts to cope and manage a "normal" life. A must read.
Thank you to Kylie Maslen for this book. As someone who experiences multiple invisible illnesses, some that are spoken about in this book, it was refreshing to read and say YES YES YES when speaking of managing chronic pain, using other vices to cope and having doctors and specialists not know what to do. So many experiences of repeating to the doctor to even get a referral, to then be on a never ending waitlist to then go into surgery, to only have the joy of having a chronic illness pop back up and around we go again.
This book focuses on essays regarding personal experiences of managing, living and dealing with ongoing chronic pain. It shines a light on how debilitating invisible illnesses are, and that just because "you look well" doesn't mean that you "are well". I especially loved "a playlist for the love sick" section, singing the songs in my head whilst reading along.
I appreciate anyone who is an advocate of invisible illnesses and this is a topic that should be thrust into the spotlight for all those to see, those who exeprience chronic pain, know someone who does, or has absolutely no idea about what chronic pain is and the vast array of ways each individual attempts to cope and manage a "normal" life. A must read.
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December 31, 2020As 2020 has made clear, all of us – as individual bodies, and as a body politic – are sustained by our relationships. Without them, we are liable to exhibit the sort of symptoms more often witnessed in those suffering from complex post-traumatic stress disorder: overwhelming anxiety; hypervigilance; a tendency to be easily triggered. We talk about cultures of abuse; yet perhaps what we are really talking about is an abusive culture.
In this, Maslen's book feels comparable to works such as Fiona Wright's The World Was Whole or Katerina Bryant's Hysteria; to Michaela Coel's series I May Destroy You or Hannah Gadsby's Nanette. Indeed, her writing harnesses the same kind of vertiginous style that made Gadsby's breakthrough so resonant: examining problems until, having categorically exhausted them, there is nowhere left to go.
Continue reading:
https://www.smh.com.au/culture/books/...
In this, Maslen's book feels comparable to works such as Fiona Wright's The World Was Whole or Katerina Bryant's Hysteria; to Michaela Coel's series I May Destroy You or Hannah Gadsby's Nanette. Indeed, her writing harnesses the same kind of vertiginous style that made Gadsby's breakthrough so resonant: examining problems until, having categorically exhausted them, there is nowhere left to go.
Continue reading:
https://www.smh.com.au/culture/books/...
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