Mommies Who Drink: Sex, Drugs, and Other Distant Memories of an Ordinary Mom

by Brett Paesel

Brett Paesel's story of hip motherhood will have you bent over laughing while reaching for your martini glass. From her encounters with a celebrity pre-natal yoga guru to her obsession (since giving birth) with her own and everyone else's ass, she explores motherhood as lived by the "formerly fabulous." Wickedly funny and irreverent, yet deeply honest and touching, MOMMIES WHO DRINK confronts a brave new world of motherhood, and dares to ask the question "What time of day is too early to start drinking?"

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Parenting, Memoir, Book Club, Biography Memoir, Audiobook

9 pages, Audio CD

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[Skostal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I once told a friend, "I don't get an orgasm from cleaning my house." In fact, much of domestic life bores the !X&$@ out of me. Once a year, I get my Martha on, and do insanely involved Christmas crafts, and that is pretty much good enough to carry me another 12 months. And so it is not unlikely that I would pick up Mommies Who Drink, described as a polemic against modern mothering. The book is at times wry, touching, and spot-on (i.e., the fact that some of us are more apt to go to school meetings where wine is served). There's a little Beth Lisick, a little David Sedaris, and just a touch of Erma Bombeck. It's very LA-centric, which makes it a pleasing romp through auditions, voiceovers, etc. Some of the book reads like a sit-com, and while the writing is good, that can get stale. But just when it seems that it might veer toward the vapid (most of the dialogue takes place at Friday happy hour, and it seems very episodic, with half the chapters titled "Friday"), Paesel gets serious, and intimate, in a way that rescues the work immediately. I wish some of Paesel's tales were my own (one mom gains social capital at her son's preschool when he reports he saw "mommy sitting on daddy's head" that morning, which is a great way to start the day). I know some of her insecurities are. The book might have been funnier 5-10 years ago when I was trying desperately hard to take all this mothering stuff VERY seriously, and finding my own soul withering in the process. Now, somewhat removed, it's less side-splitting, but still relevant. It's a chance to look at what's important; taking myself seriously and holding myself to a near-impossible standard, or eating ice cream in front of the television and not feeling bad about it? Paesel would vote the latter makes, on occasion, for the far better parent.

[Gina Boyd · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brett Paesel has written for Hip Mama and Brain, Child. She's smart, funny, and a wonderful writer to spend time with. I wish this book had been around when I was a new mom, because I felt a lot of the same sense of loss and bewilderment that Paesel describes, along with that same feeling of guilt at not being over the moon about my new baby and motherhood status.

The best thing about the book is that there's little back pedaling in effort to reassure readers that she loves her kids. It's always clear that she loves them, but she's pretty unapologetic about wanting to get away from them, and wondering what her life would be like if she hadn't had them.

I would recommend this to anyone who's already got kids, and anyone who's thinking about having them--male or female. I don't know that I would have wanted to read this while I was pregnant, though, because I was worried about enough as it was. Paesel's honesty about her unhappiness might have been too scary at a time when I didn't need any extra scaring.

[Mayme · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this memoir truly entertaining. Paesel’s raw honesty in regard to a very sensitive subject is refreshing. Not all mothers will “get” Paesel. Those mothers who are boxed in by social and familial constraints will find it difficult to allow themselves to admit that sometimes their children make them feel something other than bliss. The author cares little about what is socially acceptable to admit. Though you may not be able to identify with the specifics of Paesel’s situations or parental plight you would certainly be able to identify with the emotions and thoughts behind them.

[Lora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seriously one of the funniest books I have ever read. I want to meet this woman. I'm not even a mom, but I was laughing out loud. It's not even cheesy / Paul Reiser parental observational humor - it's WAY better than that. So very funny. Loved it.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this! While I may not be a mother myself—cooking is a mystery to me, cleaning someone else's mess sounds like a nightmare, and I definitely enjoy being waited on—Brett Paesel’s hilarious and brutally honest take on motherhood pulled me in from the start. Despite having little in common with the daily grind of parenting, I found myself relating to her experiences in surprising ways.

Paesel’s memoir goes beyond "mommy talk" and dives into the emotional, messy, and absurd parts of parenting with refreshing candor. Her storytelling is laugh-out-loud funny and deeply thoughtful. She doesn’t sugarcoat the realities of raising children, instead offering up stories that are raw, genuine, and often painfully relatable. From the exhaustion and fear to the tender, unexpected joys, she balances the ecstatic highs of motherhood with the more frustrating.

What I loved most is how it doesn’t feel exclusive to moms. It’s about navigating the challenges of life, identity, and growing into yourself while managing the expectations of others. Paesel’s writing transcends the "mommy memoir" genre, and anyone can appreciate her wit, humor, and unique perspective on life. Even without kids, I found this book thought-provoking, and it gave me a newfound respect for those who tackle parenthood with a cocktail in hand and a sense of humor.

I recommend Mommies Who Drink to anyone—whether you’re a parent, thinking about becoming one, or like me, just looking for an entertaining, heartfelt read that’s honest and funny.

[carissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

For young single women, every night is Ladies' Night. For Brett Paesel and her friends, Friday happy hour is all they get--if they can wrangle a babysitter. Like most mommies, they support each other through pregnancies, sleep deprivation, and the need to talk about it all. Instead of meeting at the playground, they convene at the local watering hole while sipping Black and Tans and flirting with the cute bartender. With a poignant voice and a fresh style that makes this memoir read like the best women's fiction, Paesel navigates mommyhood in all its forms--the ecstatic, the terrifying, the tedious, the hilarious, the transcendental, and the sticky. Paesel's laugh-out-loud perspective will appeal to all women who are braving the new world of motherhood, where the secret question on their minds at playgroup is "When is it too early in the day to start drinking?" - description from Amazon.com

I really enjoyed this book, and could relate to some of it. However, and I'll be honest here, I kind of liked the "star factor" as well. I was interested in the mommy aspect, but also the fact that the author was an actress and lived in LA kind of intrigued me. I'd recommend this to some, althought it was a bit raunchy in places (for some people, not for me).

[Joy Barnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a fun read! Although it is “laugh out loud” funny, it also deals with some of the serious issues of motherhood… mostly around feeling a loss of identity after you’ve become a “mommy”. This book is perfect for women, like myself, who left a career to raise her young kids, but struggles with the day to day life of being a mom.
It is the author’s memoirs and her antics are hilarious. It kind of reminds me of the book, “Hypocrite in a Puffy White Dress” … as if that author continued on to the “Mommy Years.” There is not really a plot; it is just kind of her collection of funny situations in chronological order, but, it was definitely entertaining and really fun to read.
I would recommend this to women who have been moms for a few years. I think it would be a bit overwhelming for a new mom to read about the struggles yet to come!

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author admits that she still craves "a stranger to fuck me blind in a parking lot after loading me up on margaritas and Thai stick". She also crave blow and other things that I guess I cant really relate to having never experienced that lifestyle beofre my children. Maybe thats why I didnt connect with this book like I thought I would. I read Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom and really liked that book along these same lines. This book, not so much. I wasnt laughing out loud. I wasnt really even laughing. I was reading the book thinking, why would the author have decided to have not one but TWO children if this is how she really felt about motherhood? While parts of some of the stories had truth to them, overall my impression of the book was poor.

Skip it.

[Allyson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not really sure how to rate this book. There were definitely parts that I enjoyed; I literally laughed out loud several times. But overall, I found it very reminiscent of Jenny McCarthy's books on pregnancy/motherhood so the idea seemed unoriginal and underwhelming. Paesel's efforts to be edgy and funny often came across as whiny and forced instead. There were several times when I just did not believe what she was writing; I thought to myself "that would never happen". But beneath all the fluff, there were some zingers and relatable moments (even for the "best" of moms). The most impactful part of the book came in the last 50 words or so; until that point, Paesel was easily dismissed. An easy read; just don't take anything too seriously.

[Niki · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can't remember why I had this book in my Audible account. I think something about the title of it made me laugh and it sounded interesting. And interesting it was.

I was impressed with Ms. Paesel being very frank and honest about many aspects in her life. Be it friend, wife, mother, actress, author, etc. I liked that she hit all of those points and talked about them equally. I love her group of friends that she meets at the bar every Friday afternoon for their time away from life to just sit and bitch about what all is going on. It sounds like she found a great support system in her friends and I appreciated their candor with one another on various topics. Everyone needs friends like that.

[Melody · Rating 3 out of 5]

Paesel is an actor who lives in LA. She's about my age, and the book is billed as a memoir. I have to read books like this, it's a compulsion. On the surface the author and I have only age and having bred in common. I kept feeling that way through the first half of the book, and admit to rolling my eyes more than once. Somehow though, Paesel's vulnerability started to win me over, and by the last chapter, in which I shared her feelings exactly, I was right in her corner. I applaud any mother who strikes out against the cookie-cutter mold we are pressed into by default and by assumption, and if Paesel's rebellion is not my own, we are still somehow akin.

[Hilary · Rating 1 out of 5]

I guess I'm not really the target audience for this book. I can empathize with the feeling that the world somehow mutates women from normal people into weird, crunchy "moms" with no life, but not with some of the attitudes.

The opening scene where she and her other friends try to plan a night out with limo, alcohol and cocaine but get thwarted by their calenders (playdates needing sleep beforehand) is no doubt meant to be funny but felt very awkward and forced to me. I kept reading, hoping the Ben Stiller/Adam Sandler effect would go away, but in the end the cries of the rest of my to-read pile took precedence over the growing dislike.

[Valissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anyone who can take the horror and fear and confusion about parenthood and make it funny and real gets an automatic five stars. Paesel improved upon even that by including the crazy near-imaginary world of LA and Hollywood. Her book makes me long for girlfriends to meet up with regularly, to drink and talk and forget for a little while that I am an increasingly older woman with a child, no longer cutesy or adorable.

Funny and heartful, I wish I had found this sooner. The biggest question for me after my child was born was "Who am I?" and Paesel relates to the question in ways that don't make me feel foolish or uninspired.

[Brenda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Uhh...not what i expected. Had some laugh out loud funny stuff, some poignant moments, and a bunch of raunchy stuff. some of her stories I could relate to and some I just couldn't - she didn't seem so ordinary to me. My impression of Brett as I read the book was that she is a shallow, self absorbed, Hollywood type in a marriage that probably won't last too much longer. But the last chapter left me feeling hopeful for her. And i think I liked the interview with her at the end the best of all. She seemed like a very nice, ordinary woman who said she rarely uses swear words. Go figure.

[Cassandra McCall · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know, surprise, surprise - I would read a book entitled Mommies Who Drink. I got this from my soon-to-be sister-in-law, and I liked it very much. Even though I am still breastfeeding and can't actually drink (to drunkenness), it was good. At times a bit boring - but it did have the following line in it which I find worth the entire book "An overeater herself, she encourages complicity." And for some reason, the chapter about mothers dying just totally got me, and I started crying. Hello hormones.

[Chante Crow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay so the title might scare some mothers away, but not me! I actually purchased this as a book on cd for a Houston to Dallas trip. Brett Paesel had me cracking up on the road at times. Even though the title and even the first two chapters seemed a bit over the top, it really was a pretty good book (for moms who drink...not drunks!!) If you are not a parent it probably will not be as funny. If you are a perfect parent you probably will not like this book.
Note: If you do get the book on cd please do not listen to it with kids in the car as she swears quite a bit in this book.

[Morna Macneill · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was light hearted and well written. As the mother of 3 kids a lot of it resonated with me. My problem with this book is not with the writing but with the subject matter. Whilst in some ways I found Brett to be funny and engaging at other points I felt she was self-indulgent and immature; concerned much more with her own pleasure and maintaining her sense of self than with caring for her children. I wonder if societal pressure to seem cool and unwilling to change caused her to adopt this persona but either way I didn’t find her to be a sympathetic character.

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Liked most of the book, but I didn't love Brett as a person. Her friends seem to be characters, not real, and all a little too perfectly pigeonholed. Brett made most of her own issues. . .and made too much of them at times.

The best part of the book was the chapter where one character's mom dies. .. well written, very poignant, and hit home.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

technically, i have not read this book yet,i've been listening to it as a book on cd. it's one of the best i have listened to. brett is an actress so she reads well and she has a great voice. driving to work has been such a pleasure while listening to this. it is so funny. i ordered a copy from the book store and i want to read it as soon as i pick it up.

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious and real,The cover, which has design references to the classic children's book, Goodnight Moon is very delightful. This is not a memoir about tragic drunken parenting, it's more of a realistic adaptation of the fear of losing your personal identity after motherhood. Being a parent, however, is not essential, for everyone will appreciate how funny, so very funny, Mommies Who Drink is.

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate the fact that this book made me laugh out loud, nearly cry, and feel a "connectedness" with other mommies regardless of backgrounds or parenting styles. It was a sort of collection of essays about motherhood bound by interwoven chapters where Paesel met with her mommy pals for happy hour each Friday. It was mostly entertaining even if it wasn't compelling.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and its honesty in how much life changes when you become a mother. It had some genuinely hilarious moments that actually had me laughing out loud. Paesel is definitely a talented and skilled writer, too. I love her writing style and voice and particularly enjoy the way she ends an essay. I always try to end mine in a similar way. Recommended reading for mothers.

[Dana Nucera · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is one of the worse books I have ever read in my life. I did not finish it. I think it was supposed to be funny, witty, clever, and insightful. Unfortunately I did not find it any of those things. Maybe if I had given birth and raised children and gave up life as I knew it then I would find this book entertaining. But I did not do any of those things so I found this book to be very cliche.

[Vickie Treulieb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was extremely funny. I kept laughing about how many of these feelings I've had about my own kids. The book makes me want to be best friends with the author and discuss our lives over a drink at the bar. She really relates well to any mother and her writing style is so easy to read. Preach it, sister!

[Lzappone · Rating 1 out of 5]

I never finished this book because it wasn't good. It was trying to be something it wasn't. Perhaps if I lived in LA I could have related to the lifestyle and I suppose if I had read to the end I have would have gotten to the part where she was actually glad to have had a child at all...I hope!!!

[Brandi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Author is a bit self indulgent, and I found myself more annoyed with her angst than feeling empathy for her. NOT the laugh out loud book it was advertized to be, but entertaining if you are on an 8 hour flight to Germany.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended by my firend Wendy, I was in tears (from laughter) by page 2. It is a great book start to finish. The author's life and mine are very diferent but I could imagine that to which I could not relate.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was loads of fun. Brett is an interesting woman with a cool career and she struggles with SO many topics we all do as mothers but with a fun twist.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read, but not quite what I had expected. There were some laugh out loud moments as I read some great insights into parenting and other people's parenting styles. Overall, entertaining.

[Laura Hemingway · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice to read about a 'real' modern day mother!