A harrowing yet hopeful account of a teen living with Tourette Syndrome and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder . . . and contemplating his own mortality.
Ten: three little letters, one ordinary number. No big deal, right? But for Troy Hayes, a 16-year-old suffering from Tourette Syndrome and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, the number ten dictates his life, forcing him to do everything by its exacting rhythm. Finally, fed up with the daily humiliation, loneliness, and physical pain he endures, Troy writes a list of ten things to do by the tenth anniversary of his diagnosis—culminating in suicide on the actual day. But the process of working his way through the list changes Troy’s life: he becomes friends with Khory, a smart, beautiful classmate who has her own troubled history. Khory unwittingly helps Troy cross off items on his list, moving him ever closer to his grand finale, even as she shows him that life may have more possibilities than he imagined. This is a dark, intense story, but it’s also realistic, hopeful, and deeply authentic.
As if navigating high school isn’t difficult enough, sixteen-year old Troy has Tourette syndrome and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Halli Gomez’s debut #ownvoices novel List of Ten begins on February 1 with Troy’s list of ten things he plans to accomplish before April 6, the tenth anniversary of his diagnosis. The first item on his list is “Get my first kiss.” Number ten is “Commit suicide.”
When Troy’s math teacher moves his seat, he ends up next to Khory. At first, Troy’s involuntary impulses make him want to touch her hair, which at first unsettles Khory, but then she turns out to be surprisingly accepting of Troy and his unpredictable behaviors. Because Khory struggles with math, Troy is very willing to become her tutor. Will this arrangement help him check off the first item on his list?
Khory is one of my favorite secondary characters in recent young adult literature. She has her own troubled past that affects her parents’ rules and expectations for her, but she is kind, fun, and isn’t judgemental about Troy’s neurodiversity. Khory and Troy’s other friends are another reason List of Ten is so appealing. Yes, there are a few jerks who torment Troy, but Khory, Jay, Rainn, and Diego care about him, and they have some raucous adventures. Halli Gomez writes with authenticity whether the scenes are in friends’ basements, on a bus in the middle of the night, at a police station, at a psychiatric hospital, or in a zero-gravity simulator that gives Troy temporary relief from his bodily pain.
The literary power in List of Ten comes from Gomez’s artful delivery of Troy’s point of view, complete with his compulsions and repetitive fixations. The verbalizations of his thought patterns create empathy with Troy and make it easy to understand why Tourette and OCD are so exhausting for him without being exhausting for the reader.
As Troy works his way through the list and toward his own death, there is a countdown effect, which many readers find absorbing, as in books as different as The Hunger Games, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes, and Thirteen Reasons Why.
List of Ten is an important book not only for those young readers who finally have a book whose author understands them, but also for those who are uncomfortable with neurodiverse classmates. Even more, it’s an important book because of its depiction of living without hope and how that hope can be reawakened through courage and compassion.
The book ends with Halli Gomez’s honest, tough, sincere Author’s Note that includes words some readers have waited a long time to read: “I’ve come a long way. Do I still hate having Tourette syndrome? Absolutely. Do I let it hold me back? Absolutely not.”
This review appears in slightly different form on my What's Not Wrong? blog.
Troy has a list that he wants to complete on the 10th anniversary of his Tourette Syndrome and OCD diagnosis. The list is filled with fun, hopeful things, like kissing a girl, driving a car, and finding his mom. But Troy's final thing on his list is to kill himself. Will Troy alter some of the items on his list? Every year I come across a book that just does not jam well with me. It took me three weeks to read, and I almost did not pick it back up. It turns out that this is this year's book. I do love that this book gives us a glimpse of what it is like living with Tourettes and OCD. It was eye-opening, and I was extremely happy when I realized it was an Own Voices novel. However, that's where my happiness ended. I struggled to like Troy as a character. From him being an angsty teen to using his girlfriend, I just kept getting angrier at him. I also thought we would hear more about Khory and her past. She seemed like a secondary character when I believed she was going to be a main character. Her ending truly confused me for a multitude of reasons. I felt like the ending was a little rushed, and important conversations that needed to be had were not had. In the end, this is definitely going to be someone's book, but it did not work out for me.
Such a beautiful, necessary book. I finished List of Ten about two months ago, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. I absolutely loved every word of it, especially the main character Troy. He is one of those terrific, believable, three-dimensional characters that feel like they are real people. Heartbreaking and heart healing, all at the same time…this was seriously one of the best books I’ve read in years. If you love any of Robin Roe's books, this is one for you.
What most people see when they look at 16-year-old Troy Haynes are his tics, his clutching hands, his behavior that causes him to align objects, touch the floor, and shout out words that don't belong. Troy has Tourette syndrome (TS) and obsessive-compulsive disorder and he is weary, sad, and ready to die.
This important book about living with Tourette Syndrome and OCD is equal parts inspirational and heartrending. Troy has struggled his whole life with the pain and stigma of a disorder that almost no one understands. He’s used to being looked at like he’s either crazy or on drugs. And the one person who could have helped him work through the emotional and physical turmoil he’s gone through—his mother—abandoned him as a child. Troy doesn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, all he sees is more pain. Because of this, he makes a list of ten things he wants to accomplish before the ten year anniversary of his diagnosis (ten is an unfortunately significant number for him and holds a certain power over him due to his OCD). The tenth item on the list is committing suicide. While on the journey to accomplishing his checklist, Troy starts to find reasons to live, but he can’t quite decide if those outweigh the daunting realities in front of him.
It would be nearly impossible to read this book and not sympathize with Troy. Through his eyes, readers will come to understand the complexities of Tourette Syndrome and OCD: how the compulsions relentlessly drive him, how his emotions affect his symptoms, the intense physical pain that goes along with his tics. I came to care deeply for this boy who just wanted relief from his neverending struggles. And, yes, I shed tears for him when he was suffering from the suffocating truth that he would never be completely free from his burdens, even when many aspects of his life were falling into place beautifully. Ultimately, this is a story of hope, but it’s hard-won. There are no easy answers or quick fixes for Troy but, instead, he gains an innate sense of his own self-worth and an understanding of the ultimate value of life. I highly recommend this book!
***Disclosure: I received this book from the publisher for review purposes, and the author shares an agent with me, so we’ve met. Still, all opinions are my own and no compensation was given.***
Halli Gomez's List of Ten was a masterpiece. Many authors struggle to accurately depict the lives of teenagers but Halli Gomez did all that and more. We not only observed the struggle of being a teenager but we saw teenagers with above-average lives. Troy Hayes had been diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome (TS) as well as OCD. The way Gomez described Troy's tics and the way he rates them on a pain scale made me see the syndrome through his eyes. I have read many books where the main character has an illness or disorder, but this book by far was the most realistic. I first heard about TS a few years ago. It's so unfortunate but many people don't take the syndrome seriously at all. I have watched many videos about the lives of people with TS, and while this book is fiction the reality that TS victims face is not. I could not further applaud Gomez on how she conveyed Troy's character. Beneath his disorders, Troy was struggling to survive. His list of 10 was essentially a checklist leading up to his timely suicide. For years the number 10 ruled his life, and soon it would end it. Although throughout the book Troy claims that he isn't depressed, it's evident he is. Reading about the pain that Troy endures daily only helps readers to appreciate him, and people like him for simply living their lives. No one likes pain, but many of us have to live with it, and I believe that was the message of the book. Living with pain and having options. Gomez does a great job discussing difficult topics. A suicidal teen isn't the most strange thing in the world and yet it's one of the strangest to talk about. By implementing this into a book I feel like it might encourage more teenagers to talk about their troubles. Gomez even includes resources to do this. I loved Khory's character. She also had baggage that made life painful, and like Troy, Khory admired lists. However, Troy and Khory's lists opposed each other as Khory had a list to survive and Troy had one to die. Nevertheless, opposites attract and I've never read a more authentic relationship between two teenagers until now. Seeing the way Khory became such a vital part of Troy and the journey to complete his checklist gave the story an accelerant. I felt like everything fell into place so quickly in the best way after they got together. It was so convincing that although I didn't want Troy to check suicide off his list, I couldn't help but root for him to complete his list. I felt it would allow him to overcome adversity. I would LOVE to see this as a movie. In List of Ten, Halli Gomez shows us how pain can be transformed into hope, and how it is very much possible to do the impossible every single day.
I learned a lot from this book. First off, I always thought it was Tourette’s Syndrome. But it isn’t. It’s just Tourette Syndrome. And it wasn’t just that I learned things, this book really made me feel a lot of emotions. Sadness for sure, but also some good hopeful things, as well as definitely some anger at people who acted the way they did. But I get it, I’m sure without realizing it I’ve done similar types of things to people who behaved in ways I was unsure of. I feel like books like this are good for teens to read and learn about other that are unlike them, so that they can understand more about it.
And it’s not just strangers, even those people who were closest to Troy didn’t necessarily realize what they were doing wasn’t helping him. Even his dad had to learn to not just accept the little tics and idiosyncrasies that were part of Troy’s condition, but he had to learn how those things affected Troy as well. It was even more than the Tourette Syndrome and OCD he was dealing with. Those things caused him to have pain in his body from all the time he tried so hard to hold in the tics and keep from doing things that he knew other people would think were strange and look at him funny for. I never really thought about how much pain all the tics would cause, and that trying to keep them from happening would be even more painful.
I definitely understood how he felt it was better to just think about an end and not having to deal with all of it. Those feelings are there for people like myself who just suffer from anxiety and depression, so I can only imagine why it would seem so much like the best option for someone dealing with more than me. Khory was a wonderful person in this, and really her friends were pretty cool too for how quickly they were able to overcome what was the strange behavior and just see Troy as a peer.
I highly recommend this book and look forward to sharing it with my students in the high school library where I work.
I was destined to love LIST OF TEN. First, because I have a son with a disability that means he has a few tics (and other issues), so I had an immediate "feel" for the story. Also, I began reading the novel on the lead up and while in hospital for a surgery that was most uncomfortable. This meant that I was totally tuned into pain so that whenever Troy (the main character in LIST OF TEN) felt pain I totally got it. During my stay in hospital, I also felt a bit of a spectacle at times, as Troy does throughout his whole life. Sometimes a book comes along at the perfect time and LIST OF TEN certainly did for me.
However, even without the perfect timing, LIST OF TEN would have received 5 stars from me. It’s very hard to write about disability well, but Halli Gomez does it brilliantly. It helps that this novel, which centres around the issues that plague any young sufferer of Tourette's Syndrome, is an "own voice" story. That is, the author is writing about an experience she understands intimately because she has lived it.
The novel is totally unsentimental but with precise descriptions of Tourette’s Syndrome that always ring true. The struggles of Troy and his family are well described and poignant. There is a love story, too, which is very touching. The descriptions of bullying from some classmates but also of compassion from others really got to me. I fell in love with Troy...and you will too!
All the characters are beautifully portrayed, vivid and alive. In particular, I was impressed by how Troy’s mother is done. I would have liked more of her in the book though, frankly, I don't think that would have been the same story and I wouldn't want to change a word of Gomez's lovely book.
I hope every young person reads this book and is moved, as I was. We need more compassion toward those with differences and books like LIST OF TEN make a big difference.
Thanks to the publisher for providing an eARC of List of Ten in exchange for an honest review.
I don't have Torette's or OCD so I can't speak to how accurate the portrayal of either were here, but I really loved how developed Troy as a character was outside of that without ever downplaying how much his conditions effect him. I really loved reading him and the way he grew throughout the book, but there is a character in this who felt a little manic pixie despite having a lot of things she was dealing with in her own life and I wish she was allowed to be a bit more flawed.
I'm trying to say this without spoilers, but I really wish the end portion of this book was expanded on more considering that this book markets itself as "hopeful". We spend so much time with Troy feeling hopeless that I think the book would have benefitted if it spent more time with him being more optimistic.
Cue the tears and get the tissues. This book takes you inside the mind of Troy Hayes, a 16 year old struggling with Tourette Syndrome and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. His life is driven by the number ten: ten steps, ten tics and ten things to do before the tenth anniversary of his diagnosis. This list of ten culminates with his own suicide, but as he gets closer and closer to it, his efforts to get there might actually be the very things that saves his life. This book is raw, emotionally powerful and striking. It embodies why we ALL should read children's literature: for the powerful perspective it can provide and the lessons it can teach adults. This book has my heart.
I bought this book because it was on sale for one dollar at the back of the clearance section. I thought it would just be a short read and when i started it i wasn't too impressed, planning to use it as a way to stay on top of my 2024 reading goals. It turned out to be quite a good book, leading me to sit and read it in several-hour long chunks. Brings awareness to conditions and the struggles people with them go through, and gives a message about hope.
I couldn’t put this book down. It’s an important read and one that needs to be put in every teenager’s hands. (The ending felt a little rushed, but I still loved the book.)
Incredible book with a great story and enticing imagery to express the intensity of Troys OCD. Pacing was a bit of a drag in some parts but overall, it was a great book
I was lucky enough to read an early version of this book a knew right away that it was going to be special. I’m so thrilled to see it finally coming out into the world!
i think this book tackled mental health really well
in my opinion, this wasn’t a book i was SO into, like i wouldnt read it everyday, i would forget about it. it was not as captivating as i thought it would be
Overall, I think this book is good. It is an important read for empathy and understanding. It taught me a lot and the ending hit me in the feels. I really enjoyed this book in the beginning for Troy, the main character, felt really endearing and reminded me of a friend of mine. This review is purely my opinion and I will always encourage readers to read any book they should wish to read, regardless of what I think about them.
However towards the middle I became a bit frustrated on some of Troy thoughts towards girls and how repetitive he was about it. I know he is a teenage boy but it felt unnecessary and a bit random but maybe it was a stream of consciousness thing.
There was also A LOT of repetition of mentioning Katniss Everdeen/Jennifer Lawrence that felt awkward and unnecessary. Explaining the Khory was strong didn't need to be immediately followed by "like Katniss" every time. Not a big deal just a note that did take me out of the flow of the book.
My third frustration was with Khory as a character. I really liked her but for a character to have such a traumatic thing happen in their past but yet to come of as flat and one dimensional was a bit confusing. She would be sad about it one moment and then be fine the next with no transition nor explanation. Also, while I neither agree with nor disagree with Khory's stance on the cause of her trauma, it felt as if the author was speaking her own opinion through the character. It felt like a lecture.. Khory's emotions overall felt shallow and unreal. I think, in my opinion, most people regardless of age would have had more intense emotions about some of the things she's been through/going through. For example (trigger warning) That is purely due to lack of flushing out the character of Khory to what I, personally, would've wanted.
I also feel like the ending seemed off and rushed. I have a few more thoughts but I don't feel the need to go into detail.
Beyond these points, and other minor patches, the book was a good read and I would still recommend it. It was informational to a point and had a unique take. As a person who lives with mental health issues, I think the stance on mental health that this book gave may have missed the mark slightly but for anyone who has never experienced these types of thoughts/moments, it's a good book to help them begin to understand. If you read this book then I hope you enjoy it.
I'm still trying to process this one. On one hand, it is very believably written, and gives tremendous insight into Tourette and OCD. And the ending is filled with hope, even with all that has happened. BUT I am not sure how often I will recommend this to teens. The level of calculated thought into suicide methods and timing may not be what some need to read about. Of course, if they commit to FINISHING the book, it could also be helpful.
For ten years, sixteen-year-old Troy Hayes has lived with the diagnosis that he shares with his estranged mother: Tourette syndrome. Troy not only suffers from uncontrollable muscle twitches that are accompanied by severe pain, he also has obsessive compulsive disorder. The two together make his academic and social life unbearable. Troy decides that the only way out of his pain is to kill himself. By page two the reader knows it is only a matter of Troy getting through the other nine items on his "to do" list that he keeps on his phone, before he will take his own life which is #10 on his list.
So, how did Halli Gomez write a 353-page book and keep the reader interested since the ending has already been revealed?
By raising the question--does he do it? And by hooking every reader into hoping and believing that he doesn't.
By using deep point of view, Troy's conflicting thoughts and torturous emotions are shown on the first pages. Through his eyes we meet Khory Price, a girl imprisoned in her own life of pain. She is someone who is able to look beyond his compulsion to touch a dirty floor multiple times as he walks down the school hallway, a girl who finds him cute and smart, and a girl who he becomes afraid to hurt.
The novel is full of teenage angst as Troy moves from just being Khory's math tutor, to being a friend, to becoming her boyfriend. He finally wins her protective parents' trust only to blow it when he tries to drive and his erratic behavior on the road attracts police attention. He's busted for driving without a license and his friend is busted for having marijuana papers in the car. But Troy is no normal teenager. The shadow of his list of ten things to do before he kills himself pervades all of his thoughts and drives many of his choices.
Khory is a well-developed, authentic secondary character. She has struggles with her own parents, guilt over being a surviving twin, and gives Troy reasons to think about his purpose in life.
Beyond amazing "showing not telling" what it feels like to be a person with Tourette, my other favorite parts of the book are when Troy begins wrestling with his decision to kill himself. When his science teacher tells him he has potential, when he is an inspiration to another family whose son has Tourette, when he realizes how Khory will feel when she realizes he lied to her--these were all very authentic and compelling conflicts.
My least favorite part of the book was when Troy's father attempts to have a discussion about sex and ends the conversation by giving his son condoms. I know I'm in the minority, but I don't believe literature for young adults should include frank permissiveness toward sex.
So, how does List of Ten end? I won't tell you! But, it is satisfying and it is hopeful. And that should be enough to make you want to read it!
Throughout List of Ten, readers watch as Troy endures both physical and psychological effects of living with TS and OCD. His TS manifests itself in twitches and touching, which is not only physically exhausting and painful, but humiliating in a society that does not understand this neurological disorder. List of Ten is told in first person, so readers really get a sense of all that Troy endures on a daily basis. Gomez, who lives with both TS and OCD, captures all the complexities of what it is like to live with these debilitating disorders. This is why books, like List of Ten, in which the main character and the author share the same experiences are so crucial.
One thing that really stood out in List of Ten is how Gomez portrays realistic relationships. From romantic relationships, familial relationships, and even friendships, each of the relationships portrayed in this story was well developed and realistic. Furthermore, these relationships did not detract from the central plot line, Troy’s journey towards self-discovery.
Gomez does a wonderful job of portraying a teen romance. First love can be fast moving and intense, but Gomez did a great job of balancing this without making Troy and Kohry’s relationship feel rushed. Their relationship had its ups and downs throughout the story, much like a real relationship. Furthermore, Gomez did not have all of Troy’s problems go away once he began a relationship with Kohry. There have been many YA books where the main character is saved by a relationship. It is crucial for teens to see that not all problems can be solved by a romantic relationship.
While Troy is not always forthright with his father, it was apparent that Troy and his father had a positive relationship. It was wonderful to see a parent as an active participant in the life of a main character in a YA book. Far too often we see parental figures absent from YA stories. One scene in List of Ten that I particularly appreciated with Troy’s father was the scene where Troy’s dad gives him a sex talk. Not only was this a sex positive talk with a discussion about safe sex, but Troy’s dad also goes into respect and consent.
There are a few scenes throughout List of Ten that are difficult to read. These types of scenes are necessary, as the author mentions in the author’s note, she doesn’t sugarcoat these difficult scenes for a reason. Like the book, Gomez does not sugarcoat her author’s note. She openly shares that she contemplated suicide many times throughout her life. Gomez lists resources in the back of the book for those living with TS or those who may be contemplating suicide.
Gomez does not wrap everything into a neat little bow at the end, but rather chose to leave things open ended. She leaves readers with a sense of hope for Troy as his road to recovery will not be a quick fix.
This is a novel, which digs deep, pulls at the gut and heart-strings, and gives a light at the end of a dark tunnel.
Troy is sixteen and was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder ten years before. With the tenth anniversary of this diagnosis approaching, he decides to create a list of ten things to complete before that day is achieved. The last on his list will finally mean an end to a life he no longer wants to fight and suffer through. As he starts hacking away at his items, he learns to know several others around him better and develops relationships he didn't think possible...even maybe learns to rediscover himself.
Some books are pure food for thoughts, and this one definitely slides into the category and then some. Troy is a kind guy, who's hard not to like and impossible not to feel for as he struggles through life. The author allows Troy's fight with his syndrome and disorder to come across clearly and with a huge impact. This creates not only a deeper understanding for Troy but also opens readers' eyes to the troubles people have, who suffer these disorders. It carries pain, heart and is a very heavy read on that end.
The author doesn't only let the dark side of Troy's life come through but addresses other problems teens might face through the other characters, and their struggles are by no means less difficult. Many difficult areas are addressed and several will disturb more sensitive readers. But there is light in the darkness. Troy develops wonderful relationships, including with his girlfriend and younger brother. This not only gives much needed reason to hope but also offered dots of sunshine. Even Troy's list does include a few things which lightened the tale and added a touch of humor. This keeps the book from only bogging down and makes Troy more likable as well.
While there are positive moments and a shining light at the end, it is important to mention that this is a darker and heavier tale, which explores Troy's own lack of self-worth and serious struggles of those around him. Topics such as cutting and suicide are mentioned and, for most of the book, Troy is not in a good place. It's a story which leaves an impression on the reader, shows that goodness is out there even when it doesn't seem that way, and helps readers to see some people and their struggles in a new way.
In the interest of full disclosure, a friend of mine and I were experimenting with writing a YA novel with a character with Tourette syndrome. Both of us got distracted and busy and never followed through. After reading LIST OF TEN by Halli Gomez I have realized that we could never have done the topic justice. Gomez herself has Tourette so the detail she brings to this amazing novel makes it a truly revelatory work.
Troy's mom left years ago. Troy has never understood how she could leave him when she might have answers to his many, many questions. He inherited Tourette from her. There's a 50% chance that offspring of those with Tourette will inherit the syndrome. How could she leave when she could have helped him through the tough times?
Now Troy is a sophomore. His tics and OCD make him stand out, and it's becoming more difficult to deal with the stares, the taunts, and the physical pain he suffers from his disability. He has created a list of ten things he wants to accomplish by April 6, the tenth anniversary of his diagnosis. Among the list are things like drive a car, kiss a girl, talk to his mom, and finally, #10 commit suicide.
Surprisingly, things begin looking up for Troy. Khory, a cute girl in his math class, asks him to tutor her. If he can hold it together to be that close to her and avoid touching her lustrous hair, he might be able to complete the "kiss a girl" part of his list. During their tutoring sessions, it becomes clear that she does find Troy attractive and interesting so a budding relationship offers Troy a chance to check several things off his list. He even begins thinking about eliminating #10, but when circumstances change, he becomes even more focused on April 6 and the end.
Author Halli Gomez takes readers into the mind of a Tourette syndrome sufferer in a way that clearly illustrates the pain and embarrassment of the condition. Troy's story provides heartbreak and inspiration sure to stay with readers long after they finish the book.
🍂Review: Inspiring... that's how I will sum up this book. In a world where normal is overrated and 'special' is a synonym for not normal, this book is something everyone must read before they die. •I have always genuinely wondered how people with mental illness lived. This book answered that question. This book gave me a chance to be and feel what a 16 yr old with tourettes, ocd and anxiety feels and goes through every minute of his existence. I felt his pain, helplessness, sadness, and anxiety. But I also felt his happiness, and the power and hope in a few beautiful moments. •I come across news everyday where people, even kids, kills themselves for even really really stupid reasons. Yes, everyone has problems and it varies from person to person but suicide is never the answer to anything. It has never been and never will be. •In this book, the Troy decides to end his life to stop being a burden to his loved ones. He makes a list of ten things he wants to do before he kill himself. But the way he checks each and every one of the list is just purely amazing. The way he makes sure that everything is in perfect order for his loved ones before he leaves forever does not show him as a 16 yr old but rather as a grown up who perfectly plans everything for his family and their future. For example, he makes sure to find a babysitter for his lil baby brother before he commits suicide and that's the purest form of love ever. •The fact that the author herself has tourettes and was able to accomplish a great many things in her life gives me chills. RESPECT and a heart felt thank you to you ma'am, for all the services you have done for this world and for writing this book. Now, I'm able to see my life from a yet another perspective. •There's no such thing as normal. Everyone's different and unique; and every living being deserves to live a happy life no matter what. And ending life is never the answer to anything.
This was a mixed bag for me. While I think the way that Troy's Tourette's was written was good, and worked to convey how it was an unavoidable impulse worked, as well as the coping mechanisms he had, a lot of the book didn't land for me. Khory never felt like she expanded beyond the role of Troy's girlfriend, and her actions never really connected to any personal motivations. She never felt like she was her own person outside of Troy's life. The book also didn't feel complete. Khory never gets much freedom, and beyond the document she reads in court, never gets to really tell her parents how much their suffocation has affected her besides a throwaway line or two (overshadowed by Troy's feelings, of course). Her entire story felt way too overshadowed by Troy's, and most of her journey was told to us (she's so brave, comparisons to Katniss, etc).The constant Hunger Games references were grating, and rather than grounding the book in a time period, only made me want to read Hunger Games instead. I also wish there had been more conclusion with Troy's relationships with his father and Terri. The meeting with his mother was interesting, and the dynamic between the two of them worked well- Troy seeing her as this woman who could answer all his questions, and her as someone still figuring her own life out - but nothing with the rest of his family felt resolved. The book's final ending also felt really sudden. I get that it was him thinking about the future, a deviation from the norm for him, but it made me go "really? it's over?" rather than feel satisfied. This was a fine book, but I really liked the way the author wrote Tourettes. I do not have Tourettes, but the compulsions and urgency of everything Troy did worked really well.
4.5/5 - List of Ten is about a teenager named Troy Hayes. Troy, now 16, started showing symptoms of Tourette Syndrome as a child and a year later his mother, from whom he inherited the neurological disease, abandoned the family. He is also Obsessive Compulsive and has a fixation on the number ten. He's in constant pain from his physical tics, tries to be as invisible as possible, and doesn't go out much. He is just tired of his existence and wants to die. So, he's written a list of ten things he plans to do, a kind of bucket list with suicide at the end. But, then he is seated next to Khory.
Khory has had a traumatic experience of her own and her parents are so overprotective that she can't even go to a movie. She understands being different and has no problem looking past Troy's tics to the person inside. When he offers to tutor her in math (because "Kiss a girl" is on his list), she is eager to get help but also clearly attracted to him. Through Khory, Troy gets a new circle of friends. But, he's still in horrible pain and frequently humiliated. Can Troy learn to live with his rebellious body or will he go through with the suicide?
Not an easy read because it's written in First Person and you experience Troy's anguish, but I think that's also what makes this book so powerful. The theme of learning to live with your challenges is always a positive one.
I had a couple problems with the book but I've decided they may be spoilery so I've removed them. Suffice it to say that they weren't so overwhelming as to cause me to significantly lower my rating. I'm still giving the book 4.5/5 because I think it's a very good story and an important one. I've never read a book about someone with Tourette Syndrome in my life. It was eye-opening and I hope List of Ten will get plenty of attention because the more people out there who understand the syndrome, the better.
So you know like when you are teenager and everything is hard, and you feel pressure from maybe school, maybe parents, maybe friends, maybe self-imposed and you are self-conscious sometimes all day everyday either around others or even by yourself like “can they see this zit” or “will people think that just because I wore these jeans last week that they are dirty” or “I hope other kids can’t tell my Yeezy slides are dupes” - just all of it - now imagine being a teenage boy having all of that AND having the nervous system disorder Tourette and OCD (which will also lead to anxiety and depression) wherein you have unpredictable but mostly constant compulsions, tics, pain, and you feel like everyone thinks you are a “freak” or on drugs or just plain weird and it is coming up on your ten year anniversary of being diagnosed and you have created this List of Ten things to do by that anniversary date some as sweet and teenager-y as “get my first kiss” to scary “talk about Tourette in public” to giving into hopelessness “commit suicide.” It’s like that. Halli Gomez, the author, taught my kids martial arts a while back and is just a lovely person who wrote this lovely book with a lovely main character and other lovely characters who I just want to give a supportive hug, and who also works at the lovely Park Road Books and is wonderful with book recommendations. I loved this book and its topic and characters will stay with me.