(Note before we begin: Any comments calling me a bigot or reactionary, claiming cis is a slur, or telling me to write my own books [which I am already doing, thank you very much] will be blocked and deleted. I've already gotten rid of several and frankly I have better things to do.)
Edit: After a discussion, I have removed my rating of this book, leaving only my comment. However, it will remain a one-star in my heart, because I believe harmful books deserve negative reviews, but maybe that’s just me.
tl;dr: The title, synopsis, and *entire concept* of this book are so damaging (and revealing of the damage it will do) to me as a trans person that I refuse to read this and put myself through something I know will harm me. This is an overview of my thought process.
If I wanted a few thousand words of cis people talking about how confusing and difficult trans people are, I don't have to read this book. I just have to talk to my family.
Here's how I see this whole mess going:
-Cis man writes a book about a cis boy dealing with his trans sister coming out.
-Trans people get pissed because the book is transphobic (which it is).
-Cis people call us sensitive and "helpfully" reassure us the book is quite respectful (which it isn't).
-Cis people pat themselves on the back for being "good allies" because they haven't actively participated in murdering a trans person recently.
Okay, okay. Am I, a known trans, being overly sensitive? Cis people would sure say so. "Look!" they'll say. "It's about a boy who comes to love his transgender sister for who she is! It's sweet and charming and in no way offensive to trans people!" They'll say, "You have nothing to be offended by. You're just looking for something to be offended by."
They'll say, "You haven't even read it. How can you possibly know?"
I don't have to read it. Let's break down what we already have.
We'll start simple for the cis people who have no idea what I'm talking about. First off, we have the title. This is where I started getting wary. Our first red flag: a true ally, someone who actually cares about trans people, would know to choose Literally Any Other Title. It is painfully reminiscent of the things I've heard while coming out--"Her name is AJ now," or, "She goes by Andrew these days."
While those things can be said with good intentions, they still hurt. It reminds me that you don't really see me as a man. This title lets us know that Jessica is NOT seen as a girl, not to mention it normalizes this kind of language. And sure, we can say it would incentivize sales, or help sanitize the book for cis readers, and my response is simple. DON'T sanitize things for cis people if it means using harmful language. We’ve given them enough already, don’t you think?
Then, we have the constant misgendering and deadnaming of Jessica throughout the synopsis. Let a trans person take a shot at writing a slightly-less awful version of it:
"Sam Waver has always idolised his big sister. Unlike Sam, Jessica seems to have life sorted - she's kind, popular, amazing at football, and girls are falling over themselves to date her.
The only problem? Nobody, not even Sam, knows that Jessica is actually a girl. Sam's parents don't want to know and Sam simply doesn't understand. Because what do you do when you discover you've had a sister all along?"
The truth is, deadnaming and misgendering are violent acts and should be treated like the weapons they are. Deadnaming and misgendering can break a trans person's spirit. It eats away at your heart. It makes you sick to your stomach or feels like a punch to the side of the head. In fiction, this power should be wielded carefully and only with the knowledge of the damage they will do. It is certainly not something to just absently throw into the synopsis.
However, when we read over my new synopsis, something still feels off.
Why?
Because this book centers a cis person's pain.
Poor little Sam. His world is falling apart because he suddenly realizes his sister is a girl! As a trans person, to be frank, I don’t really care. I’m too busy hoping my new doctor won’t refuse to treat me, or wondering if small-town law enforcement thinks giving my real name and not my legal one counts as obstruction, to coddle a cis boy’s feelings.
Transitioning is a scary, harrowing time for a trans person, no matter how accepting their surroundings are. We are terrified of cruelty, rejection and, in some situations, death. We realize that we are opening ourselves up to a lifetime of violence and discrimination.
Acting like a cis person's confusion over the right names and pronouns and "oh no, I have a sister, what do I do?" is more important is the most self-centered, ignorant thing I have ever encountered.
As a transgender author who is neck-deep in a community of other trans writers, seeing this book--that makes money off us, centers the cis experience, and does it WRONG all the while--get good ratings, bring in money for a cis writer, and be PUBLISHED by a substantial publisher, all while my trans siblings--writing about their trans experiences respectfully and honestly--struggle to be seen in traditional publishing spaces, is a knife through the heart.
Cis people won’t even give us a chance to speak before talking over us and profiting off their ignorance and “good allyship” because they weren’t a total dick for five seconds. If you really want to be a good ally, don't write stuff like this. Boost diverse trans voices--queer trans people, trans people of color, fat trans people, disabled trans people, ALL OF THEM. Introduce trans people to your children early. Let them know that transgender people exist. This way, little Sam won't be heartbroken or lost--he'll be excited to have a sister. What you do is help change the culture of confusion, ignorance, and otherness surrounding trans people. What you DON'T do is write a book like this, that exploits it.
Here's my honest opinion. I don't have to read this book to feel the heartbreak I know will go with it. Everything I've seen so far has just made me even more exhausted and disheartened than I already was. So unless the title and synopsis are completely and utterly wrong, unless they have literally nothing to do with this book, I don't even have to look at the first page.