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Subtle Acts of Exclusion: How to Understand, Identify, and Stop Microaggressions
This practical, accessible, nonjudgmental handbook is the first to help individuals and organizations recognize and prevent microaggressions so that all employees can feel a sense of belonging in their workplace.
Our workplaces and society are growing more diverse, but are we supporting inclusive cultures? While overt racism, sexism, ableism, and other forms of discrimination are relatively easy to spot, we cannot neglect the subtler everyday actions that normalize exclusion. Many have heard the term microaggression, but not everyone fully understands what they are or how to recognize them and stop them from happening.
In this book, Tiffany Jana and Michael Baran offer a clearer, more accessible term, subtle acts of exclusion, or SAEs, to emphasize the purpose and effects of these actions. After all, people generally aren't trying to be aggressive--usually they're trying to say something nice, learn more about a person, be funny, or build closeness. But whether in the form of exaggerated stereotypes, backhanded compliments, unfounded assumptions, or objectification, SAE are damaging to our coworkers, friends, and acquaintances. Jana and Baran give simple and clear tools to identify and address such acts, offering scripts and action plans for everybody involved: the subject, initiator, and observer. Knowing how to have these conversations in an open-minded, honest way will help us build trust and create stronger workplaces and healthier, happier people and communities.
Our workplaces and society are growing more diverse, but are we supporting inclusive cultures? While overt racism, sexism, ableism, and other forms of discrimination are relatively easy to spot, we cannot neglect the subtler everyday actions that normalize exclusion. Many have heard the term microaggression, but not everyone fully understands what they are or how to recognize them and stop them from happening.
In this book, Tiffany Jana and Michael Baran offer a clearer, more accessible term, subtle acts of exclusion, or SAEs, to emphasize the purpose and effects of these actions. After all, people generally aren't trying to be aggressive--usually they're trying to say something nice, learn more about a person, be funny, or build closeness. But whether in the form of exaggerated stereotypes, backhanded compliments, unfounded assumptions, or objectification, SAE are damaging to our coworkers, friends, and acquaintances. Jana and Baran give simple and clear tools to identify and address such acts, offering scripts and action plans for everybody involved: the subject, initiator, and observer. Knowing how to have these conversations in an open-minded, honest way will help us build trust and create stronger workplaces and healthier, happier people and communities.
200 pages, Paperback
First published March 10, 2020
245 people are currently reading
2058 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
March 14, 2021
Review edited on 14th of March, 2021:
I knew this review would be a tough one five minutes into this book.
But the fact that I rolled my eyes every five minutes shows that I'm the exact audience the authors are aiming for.
By the end I did push through it, despite all the exasperation.
I like the idea of addressing SAEs, since it's a relevant issue with growing impact -
- and I also stand behind the main message of engaging SAEs and that:
"While having our eyes open for these SAEs might not be as good for our happiness as being blissfully unaware but we think that's an okay-trade-off."
However, I'm not too fond of the SAE accountability system. Or let's say it might work in business environment, but I have my doubts in its application outside of work place.
I'm afraid that in private life the system might be perceived or even used under some circumstances as "calling out" on others.
I also don't see eye to eye with many of the example cases offered in this book - which reflects my own ignorance. I often think that the only reason I sort of get away with it is because I have immigrant background.
I also perceived several approaches and problem-solving methods including follow-up methods incredibly corny. Although I have to concede that's one of my weaknesses - giving and receiving praises, ugh.
But maybe that's a matter of attitude. Defensiveness is a common reaction to being called out for an SAE, which is why the authors encourage to train reflexes like curiosity and empathy instead.
"SAE are never about intent. So if you find yourself getting feedback about something you did, you should not try to clarify your intent, which is assumed to be good.”
-> I worship this sentence, and I’ve been repeatedly using it recently as well. I think this is also applicable in relationship with family and friends.
The authors preach to always “assume good intent.”
For close relationships, this is the lowest bar. I often hear arguments starting with “I know you didn’t mean it, but” - which I think is redundant. I only use it in professional environment to soften the blow in work place or people I don't know well. However, with family and friends I try to avoid it, because good intention is what I expect- the moment I doubt the very intention of your behaviour we’re bound to find ourselves in trouble.
The authors go beyond my little universe and encourage us to assume good intention from all people we meet. I think that's a very healthy mindset as well, especially considering how easy it is for us to lean towards doubt and mistrust.
We should see feedback as a wonderful chance to improve on our own behavior - yes, I agree with this statement as well.
See, the book and I do agree on its main points - it’s just the approach and the examples it offers that make me cringe on regular basis throughout it.
Addressing SAEs are vital - I like that this book for focusing on it, but I also think that there is room for better approaches yet to arise.
I knew this review would be a tough one five minutes into this book.
But the fact that I rolled my eyes every five minutes shows that I'm the exact audience the authors are aiming for.
By the end I did push through it, despite all the exasperation.
I like the idea of addressing SAEs, since it's a relevant issue with growing impact -
- and I also stand behind the main message of engaging SAEs and that:
"While having our eyes open for these SAEs might not be as good for our happiness as being blissfully unaware but we think that's an okay-trade-off."
However, I'm not too fond of the SAE accountability system. Or let's say it might work in business environment, but I have my doubts in its application outside of work place.
I'm afraid that in private life the system might be perceived or even used under some circumstances as "calling out" on others.
I also don't see eye to eye with many of the example cases offered in this book - which reflects my own ignorance. I often think that the only reason I sort of get away with it is because I have immigrant background.
I also perceived several approaches and problem-solving methods including follow-up methods incredibly corny. Although I have to concede that's one of my weaknesses - giving and receiving praises, ugh.
But maybe that's a matter of attitude. Defensiveness is a common reaction to being called out for an SAE, which is why the authors encourage to train reflexes like curiosity and empathy instead.
"SAE are never about intent. So if you find yourself getting feedback about something you did, you should not try to clarify your intent, which is assumed to be good.”
-> I worship this sentence, and I’ve been repeatedly using it recently as well. I think this is also applicable in relationship with family and friends.
The authors preach to always “assume good intent.”
For close relationships, this is the lowest bar. I often hear arguments starting with “I know you didn’t mean it, but” - which I think is redundant. I only use it in professional environment to soften the blow in work place or people I don't know well. However, with family and friends I try to avoid it, because good intention is what I expect- the moment I doubt the very intention of your behaviour we’re bound to find ourselves in trouble.
The authors go beyond my little universe and encourage us to assume good intention from all people we meet. I think that's a very healthy mindset as well, especially considering how easy it is for us to lean towards doubt and mistrust.
We should see feedback as a wonderful chance to improve on our own behavior - yes, I agree with this statement as well.
See, the book and I do agree on its main points - it’s just the approach and the examples it offers that make me cringe on regular basis throughout it.
Addressing SAEs are vital - I like that this book for focusing on it, but I also think that there is room for better approaches yet to arise.
June 3, 2021
3.5/5
Overall, this book was informative and useful for me. It provided insight and explanations for why subtle acts of exclusion (aka microaggressions) can be very painful, it provided examples of how these SAE's could manifest, and a framework for how to navigate challenging the SAE's from multiple roles (recipient, instigator, or bystander). The scripts from the demonstrations of using the framework are as clunky as you might expect any script to be but you get a good idea of the foundation of the conversation you would start when you challenged an SAE. There were times where it felt like a LOT of patience and goodwill was always extended to instigators of SAE, therefore asking for the recipient of the SAE to take on the labour of correction but I suppose the book's main focus is on events in the workplace and where the events are not necessarily part of a pattern of behaviour from the individual instigator so good intention is more likely to be assumed, so I can understand this approach. I feel as though I have more skills now to start (and be more confident) navigating interactions where SAE occurs.
The section where the book became jarring and lost some stars for me was the section on disability (or Ability as the chapter was titled). As a disabled person, it is possibly - likely even - that this is more jarring than it might be to non-disabled readers and so the scoring may reflect that. For a book entirely about subtle acts of exclusion, it was disappointing to read words and phrases about disability that are othering for disabled people. "Differently abled" and "special needs" are generally disliked within the disabled community, which brought about the whole "Just Say Disabled". Others such as "living with disabilities" are not as bad but may prompt a sarcastic "What, does it live in my spare room?" from some disabled people. Use of words like struggle, tragedy, hindered, are all part of the same theme of misery around disability that the disabled community have been trying to see reduced in usage. While the authors do acknowledge that navigating language around disability can be complex and the best approach is often to ask individuals, the above words and phrases are widely discussed in terms of their othering nature, especially in online spaces.
So, overall, there is a fair bit to learn in this book, especially for anyone wanting to become more confident in supporting friends, family, and colleagues, and stepping up to correct subtle acts of exclusion in a way that can lead to positive change. Just avoid using the terms about about disability, as you're likely to cause an exclusionary act by using them depending on the space you're in.
Overall, this book was informative and useful for me. It provided insight and explanations for why subtle acts of exclusion (aka microaggressions) can be very painful, it provided examples of how these SAE's could manifest, and a framework for how to navigate challenging the SAE's from multiple roles (recipient, instigator, or bystander). The scripts from the demonstrations of using the framework are as clunky as you might expect any script to be but you get a good idea of the foundation of the conversation you would start when you challenged an SAE. There were times where it felt like a LOT of patience and goodwill was always extended to instigators of SAE, therefore asking for the recipient of the SAE to take on the labour of correction but I suppose the book's main focus is on events in the workplace and where the events are not necessarily part of a pattern of behaviour from the individual instigator so good intention is more likely to be assumed, so I can understand this approach. I feel as though I have more skills now to start (and be more confident) navigating interactions where SAE occurs.
The section where the book became jarring and lost some stars for me was the section on disability (or Ability as the chapter was titled). As a disabled person, it is possibly - likely even - that this is more jarring than it might be to non-disabled readers and so the scoring may reflect that. For a book entirely about subtle acts of exclusion, it was disappointing to read words and phrases about disability that are othering for disabled people. "Differently abled" and "special needs" are generally disliked within the disabled community, which brought about the whole "Just Say Disabled". Others such as "living with disabilities" are not as bad but may prompt a sarcastic "What, does it live in my spare room?" from some disabled people. Use of words like struggle, tragedy, hindered, are all part of the same theme of misery around disability that the disabled community have been trying to see reduced in usage. While the authors do acknowledge that navigating language around disability can be complex and the best approach is often to ask individuals, the above words and phrases are widely discussed in terms of their othering nature, especially in online spaces.
So, overall, there is a fair bit to learn in this book, especially for anyone wanting to become more confident in supporting friends, family, and colleagues, and stepping up to correct subtle acts of exclusion in a way that can lead to positive change. Just avoid using the terms about about disability, as you're likely to cause an exclusionary act by using them depending on the space you're in.
June 24, 2020
The book was informative and interesting yet very limited in application. It felt like a book meant to sell you their consultancy to teach your company SAE. The actual teaching was limited to examples which were cherry picked, and the hardest hitting examples were not played out to the fullest extent. For instance, an "act of exclusion" with a Muslim woman and a trump supporter was laid out, but no real solution was offered up. And one can imagine in real life, a situation like that could actually escalate to the point of danger for the woman.
February 22, 2025
I coped with SAEs since I was a child. Being a Latino while looking pale with different facets than my friends, I was the constant target of “You don’t look Latino.” “Now that you danced, I realized you were telling the truth.” “Do you even speak Spanish” “How come you speak it so well, your parents emigrated to Canada, you are supposed to speak it with an accent.”
They hurt. As an adult however, I’ve learned that people were just really surprised. Sure it’s not pleasant, but I felt more SAEs are without bad intentions.
This book listed many that I agree are terrible. Some I find are said without thought. The book teaches us to speak up, for ourselves and others. But spends more time teaching us why they are wrong, which let’s face it, as someone reading this book you are probably woke to them. I think with the end of DEI we will have more issues pushing this as a training.
They hurt. As an adult however, I’ve learned that people were just really surprised. Sure it’s not pleasant, but I felt more SAEs are without bad intentions.
This book listed many that I agree are terrible. Some I find are said without thought. The book teaches us to speak up, for ourselves and others. But spends more time teaching us why they are wrong, which let’s face it, as someone reading this book you are probably woke to them. I think with the end of DEI we will have more issues pushing this as a training.
March 21, 2023
3.5 stars
The chapter on race related SAE was surprisingly the weakest, but overall, the book was well written! I actually preferred listening to the audiobook over reading the ebook (both available on Hoopla).
The chapter on race related SAE was surprisingly the weakest, but overall, the book was well written! I actually preferred listening to the audiobook over reading the ebook (both available on Hoopla).
June 20, 2020
I used this book to guide a conversation with my staff. After going through implicit bias and what are microaggressions/SAEs a hand shot up with someone asking, "but what do you suggest we DO?" It was helpful to have concrete steps to help people process how to handle the conversations on both sides.
Everyone keeps saying they are so afraid of saying the wrong thing. Twitter is really aggressive with the call out culture. This book is a good tool for everyone to try to sit down and have a conversation that supports knowing better then doing better.
Everyone keeps saying they are so afraid of saying the wrong thing. Twitter is really aggressive with the call out culture. This book is a good tool for everyone to try to sit down and have a conversation that supports knowing better then doing better.
February 2, 2022
I found this book to have clear and concise definitions, simple ways to perpetuate intentional acts of inclusion, and clear examples of SAE in common work place settings. Coming off of this book I have a better understanding of how I might best avoid subtle acts of exclusion and how to helpfully engage in dialogue surrounding SAE when I or others make mistakes.
April 13, 2024
Very accessible, informative and comprehensive. Although Jana and Baran cover a lot of different types of discrimination, it wasn't too heavy to digest. The authors really delve into the psychological and social effects of subtle acts of exclusion (SAE) as well as how it happens and how to stop it. The tone throughout is very diplomatic and there is no finger-pointing or hectoring. I think many people would benefit from reading this, whether initiators, observers or subjects of SAE.
May 27, 2021
The author identifes from LGBTQ community and also black african American. One can clearly agree that they have borne the brunt of discrimination. It's like hearing the story from people who experience the microaggressions most in society. Good beginner to intermediate level read if you are serious on I&D
August 17, 2023
I learned quite a bit from this book and hope to implement its concepts into my daily life. I would recommend the ebook version over the audio as many of the links were helpful and the audio didn't have all of the same resources. However, the narration was quite good.
November 28, 2024
Was surprised by how easy to read this book was, likely because of the writing style, which was easy to digest.
I didn’t realize that this book is written primarily from an organizational DEI/work perspective, so I was surprised by that given I thought it was just general education about subtle acts of exclusion (or SAE, which is their term for microaggressions). But not in a bad way at all, because the principles in the book can pretty easily translate into interpersonal relationships as well. There are also portions of the book that specifically talk about individual relationships.
Overall, this was a really good book, and I plan to use it as a reference point as I grow in trying to move from being a “potential” ally (someone who witnesses an SAE and either doesn’t realize it, or does realize it but takes no action to disrupt) and into an actual ally that enters into hard and messy moments with grace while giving the benefit of the doubt.
I didn’t realize that this book is written primarily from an organizational DEI/work perspective, so I was surprised by that given I thought it was just general education about subtle acts of exclusion (or SAE, which is their term for microaggressions). But not in a bad way at all, because the principles in the book can pretty easily translate into interpersonal relationships as well. There are also portions of the book that specifically talk about individual relationships.
Overall, this was a really good book, and I plan to use it as a reference point as I grow in trying to move from being a “potential” ally (someone who witnesses an SAE and either doesn’t realize it, or does realize it but takes no action to disrupt) and into an actual ally that enters into hard and messy moments with grace while giving the benefit of the doubt.
July 28, 2023
Sometimes a little awkward listen, but overall gave me a lot to think about and reaffirmed my efforts to be an ally.
August 27, 2024
If you want to be a better ally this Microaggressions 101 book is a good place to start. If you’re already familiar with DEI, intersectionality, and intervention techniques then this may be a bit pedestrian for you.
November 3, 2022
Fast, compelling read.
Excellent in that it recommends strategies for dealing with microaggressions or subtle acts of exclusion from several points of view including actions that bystanders can take. Perfect for an office or organization that has decided to do diversity and inclusion work, and that is looking for next steps.
Excellent in that it recommends strategies for dealing with microaggressions or subtle acts of exclusion from several points of view including actions that bystanders can take. Perfect for an office or organization that has decided to do diversity and inclusion work, and that is looking for next steps.
Read
January 5, 2025I did not like this book- I felt it goes too far. While there were a few things I picked up so I don’t offend- I do think it’s important to make effort to connect with others, and this book discourages you for fear that you’ll say the wrong thing. Overall, it did not resonate with me.
March 11, 2020
Authors Tiffany Jana and Michael Baran’s "Subtle Acts of Exclusion: How to Understand, Identify, and Stop Microaggressions" is a highly relevant work for an age where we are identifying such phenomena with increasing accuracy. Much of the relevancy within this book results from the writers’ respective preeminence in the area. Jana is CEO of TMI Portfolio, a composition of various companies working hand in hand for the cause of advancing inclusive workplaces and the author of two earlier books "Overcoming Bias" and co_author of the second edition of the "B Corp Handbook". Baran is an academic, researcher, and social scientist who is also senior partner and digital solutions lead at inquest Consulting. Their personal experiences and unimpeachable credentials give them the needed authority and expertise for tackling these important issues.
They structure the book into ten chapters covering different facets of exclusionary experience. The clean and straightforward approach they adopt towards exploring these issues covers every base, but they open with an introduction laying out what the authors hope to accomplish with this book and trumpeting their motivations. They admit they are often complicit in these very behaviors; it’s a brave move certain to catch the attention of many readers. The introduction concludes with an illustration, via story, of the very behaviors this book looks to delve into.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: www.subtleactsofexclusion.com
Once the book begins in earnest, they establish the historical background behind the term microaggression and the cultural blowback against the concept. Jana and Baran rebut those criticisms in convincing and detailed fashion. They focus then on another of the book’s aims – their reasoning behind reframing the term microaggressions as subtle acts of exclusion, abbreviated as SAE. The lack of clarity regarding the former term is problematic for the authors and they feel it minimizes the issue in the end. This sets the stage for everything that follows.
There is a great deal of terminology in the book, but all of it is readily comprehensible thanks to the clarity of the authors’ language. Baran and Jana are unfailing in their effort to depict the concepts in exact ways leaving little to no room for ambiguity. One of the marvelous things about the book’s writing style is how they speak with an unified voice; there are no clear distinctions between one or the other is “speaking”. This makes for seamless reading experience and adds readers in digesting their thoughts.
AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Acts-Ex...
Chapters Two through Four offer a framework for how we, as a society, can do to curtail such behaviors and make our voices heard when they occur. The remainder of the book plumbs deep into the various ways SAE manifest themselves in our world. Personal experiences and those of others are key components of their presentation and their examination of the assorted dimensions of SAE are backed with an admirable amount of research. This is a relatively short book experienced readers can devour in a single setting, but interested parties should return to it for a second and third reading to fully digest its contents. Michael Baran and Tiffany Jana’s "Subtle Acts of Exclusion: How to Understand, Identify, and Stop Microaggressions" is a thoughtful, in depth and intelligent look at a complex issue.
They structure the book into ten chapters covering different facets of exclusionary experience. The clean and straightforward approach they adopt towards exploring these issues covers every base, but they open with an introduction laying out what the authors hope to accomplish with this book and trumpeting their motivations. They admit they are often complicit in these very behaviors; it’s a brave move certain to catch the attention of many readers. The introduction concludes with an illustration, via story, of the very behaviors this book looks to delve into.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: www.subtleactsofexclusion.com
Once the book begins in earnest, they establish the historical background behind the term microaggression and the cultural blowback against the concept. Jana and Baran rebut those criticisms in convincing and detailed fashion. They focus then on another of the book’s aims – their reasoning behind reframing the term microaggressions as subtle acts of exclusion, abbreviated as SAE. The lack of clarity regarding the former term is problematic for the authors and they feel it minimizes the issue in the end. This sets the stage for everything that follows.
There is a great deal of terminology in the book, but all of it is readily comprehensible thanks to the clarity of the authors’ language. Baran and Jana are unfailing in their effort to depict the concepts in exact ways leaving little to no room for ambiguity. One of the marvelous things about the book’s writing style is how they speak with an unified voice; there are no clear distinctions between one or the other is “speaking”. This makes for seamless reading experience and adds readers in digesting their thoughts.
AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Acts-Ex...
Chapters Two through Four offer a framework for how we, as a society, can do to curtail such behaviors and make our voices heard when they occur. The remainder of the book plumbs deep into the various ways SAE manifest themselves in our world. Personal experiences and those of others are key components of their presentation and their examination of the assorted dimensions of SAE are backed with an admirable amount of research. This is a relatively short book experienced readers can devour in a single setting, but interested parties should return to it for a second and third reading to fully digest its contents. Michael Baran and Tiffany Jana’s "Subtle Acts of Exclusion: How to Understand, Identify, and Stop Microaggressions" is a thoughtful, in depth and intelligent look at a complex issue.
July 18, 2022
Marginalized identities: gender, invisible disability, religious beliefs
Pause, assume good intent, explain the pause, have patience
Acknowledge feedback with gratitude, replace defensiveness with empathy and curiosity, follow through and follow-up
Sex / gender
Race
Ability
Religion - Yom Kippur examples
Age
Subtle Acts of Exclusion is a new term for microaggressions. Michael Baran and Tiffany Jana coined the phrase — SAE for short — to help destigmatize the idea of microaggressions and to make more progress on this important issue. We were inspired to write this book because of the lack of progress that we were collectively making on the topic of microaggressions and the way that they were causing serious harm to people, in terms of job satisfaction but also mental and physical health.
Michael Baran: The first step for everyone is to recognize that they are happening, and frequently, and so we should expect them to happen. Once we do that, we can prepare for how we’re going to react, whether we are the person who experienced the SAE, the person who initiated it, or the person who observed it. It all goes best when an organization gets on the same page about SAE — what they are, how to have productive conversations, and how to collectively feel like we’re addressing them together because it’s important to all of us. That being said, the guidelines can certainly help individuals, and the more people get on board, the better we’ll be at addressing these at a societal level.
Baran: You first take stock of the situation. What am I feeling? Who is around? What is the setting? Is it appropriate to speak up now? Am I ready for this conversation? If you decide it is a good time to speak up, then you can make sure to pause the action, even if you don’t yet know what to say. Something like, “Can we pause to discuss something that was just said?” Then, if you think the person didn’t have bad intentions, you can be explicit about letting them know that, by saying something like, “I’m sure you didn’t mean anything bad by this, but …” Then call the person in, rather than calling them out. See if you can explore together the impact that the SAE had on you, or that you think it may have had on someone else, by using the framework in the book. You might try saying, “When someone asks me where I’m ‘really’ from like that, it makes me feel like I don’t belong here.”
Pause, assume good intent, explain the pause, have patience
Acknowledge feedback with gratitude, replace defensiveness with empathy and curiosity, follow through and follow-up
Sex / gender
Race
Ability
Religion - Yom Kippur examples
Age
Subtle Acts of Exclusion is a new term for microaggressions. Michael Baran and Tiffany Jana coined the phrase — SAE for short — to help destigmatize the idea of microaggressions and to make more progress on this important issue. We were inspired to write this book because of the lack of progress that we were collectively making on the topic of microaggressions and the way that they were causing serious harm to people, in terms of job satisfaction but also mental and physical health.
Michael Baran: The first step for everyone is to recognize that they are happening, and frequently, and so we should expect them to happen. Once we do that, we can prepare for how we’re going to react, whether we are the person who experienced the SAE, the person who initiated it, or the person who observed it. It all goes best when an organization gets on the same page about SAE — what they are, how to have productive conversations, and how to collectively feel like we’re addressing them together because it’s important to all of us. That being said, the guidelines can certainly help individuals, and the more people get on board, the better we’ll be at addressing these at a societal level.
Baran: You first take stock of the situation. What am I feeling? Who is around? What is the setting? Is it appropriate to speak up now? Am I ready for this conversation? If you decide it is a good time to speak up, then you can make sure to pause the action, even if you don’t yet know what to say. Something like, “Can we pause to discuss something that was just said?” Then, if you think the person didn’t have bad intentions, you can be explicit about letting them know that, by saying something like, “I’m sure you didn’t mean anything bad by this, but …” Then call the person in, rather than calling them out. See if you can explore together the impact that the SAE had on you, or that you think it may have had on someone else, by using the framework in the book. You might try saying, “When someone asks me where I’m ‘really’ from like that, it makes me feel like I don’t belong here.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 30, 2021
The method presented in this book for handling Subtle Acts of Exclusion (SAE) or what are commonly referred to as microagressions sounds excellent and it is discussed in detail in chapter 3. After that the book goes downhill FAST. There is a whole chapter devoted to discussion of the authors and their consulting companies that you can hire to go over this training with your organization. Then the book has 5 chapters of really bad examples. For example, there is an example of how women will clutch their handbag when a Black man comes near (which I 100% know is true) but then they say that this also happens to Black women (okay maybe) and gender minorities -a term that the book uses for non-binary individuals. I have met many non-binary individuals and there may be some awkwardness in trying to determine which pronouns to use, but they have hardly been threatening. There also was a supposed microaggression because an atheist working for a small Christian company feels awkward that there are prayers said before staff meetings. Why would a staunch atheist work at a small devout Christian company in the first place of it made him feel awkward? One of the authors has a problem with the phrase “No problemo” because he feels it is mocking Spanish. Does he also have a problem when people call something chic? Or say that something has a certain je ne sais quoi? The Ableism chapter has an example where a muscular Black man is not allowed to go pick up his daughter at a school because he is too able bodied. I think my disabled friends would have a problem with that. I could go on and on. The concept was good, but the examples really really just didn’t work for me.
July 21, 2021
Subtle acts of exclusion, also called micro aggressions, occur so often they blend into the background of our daily lives, even if we are the target or unintentional subject of them. This book examines them and offers the tools to understand why they are not micro or meaningless and why they are often not actually aggressive but they are impactful. They communicate a host of subtext to the subject and witnesses. In an organization or a group this can have a long lasting corrosion on culture. Whether the SAE is focused on race, ethnicity, ability, or any other quality of a person, it can communicate that the subject individual or class of people are invisible, unworthy, not normal or unwelcome.
Some of us have long learned to ignore the compulsion to stand up when these types of interactions occur for fear of disruption and repercussions. The authors offer a process by which we can do so in a manner that is helpful and compassionate to all involved. More, they recognize that everyone will commit an SAE many times and offer advice to hear how we may have inadvertently hurt or offended someone and recover with grace, humility and an eye for using the opportunity as a learning experience that is a step toward a better world.
A great, practical manual for individuals and organizations.
Some of us have long learned to ignore the compulsion to stand up when these types of interactions occur for fear of disruption and repercussions. The authors offer a process by which we can do so in a manner that is helpful and compassionate to all involved. More, they recognize that everyone will commit an SAE many times and offer advice to hear how we may have inadvertently hurt or offended someone and recover with grace, humility and an eye for using the opportunity as a learning experience that is a step toward a better world.
A great, practical manual for individuals and organizations.
July 19, 2023
i found the sections informative and useful except for chapter 7 on SAE regarding disability. i hated this chapter so much that what would have otherwise been a 3 or 4 star review, i've lowered to one. i'd give it zero if i could.
as a disabled person, i hated the over softened terminology and cloyingly avoidant terms such as "differently abled", it felt like dancing around the term disabled and i found it deeply condescending and frankly insulting.
disabled is NOT a bad word. it's NOT disrespectful. and using the term is NOT exclusionary.
i'm not "differently abled". i'm not "special needs". i am a disabled person. it's a part of my identity, neither negative nor positive. it just is.
personally, i also hate "person first" language. i'm not a "person with a disability". i'm a disabled person. use the label first. if it causes discomfort for you to say it, sit with that and consider your own internalized ableism.
don't use avoidant language as a way to evade the use of terms that able bodied people find distasteful. and CERTAINLY don't lie to yourself and to the world around you by claiming you're being inclusive by doing so.
i'm going against the wishes of an entire community of people in the interest of preserving the comfort of the majority, the entire stated purpose of the program is sabotaged.
do better.
as a disabled person, i hated the over softened terminology and cloyingly avoidant terms such as "differently abled", it felt like dancing around the term disabled and i found it deeply condescending and frankly insulting.
disabled is NOT a bad word. it's NOT disrespectful. and using the term is NOT exclusionary.
i'm not "differently abled". i'm not "special needs". i am a disabled person. it's a part of my identity, neither negative nor positive. it just is.
personally, i also hate "person first" language. i'm not a "person with a disability". i'm a disabled person. use the label first. if it causes discomfort for you to say it, sit with that and consider your own internalized ableism.
don't use avoidant language as a way to evade the use of terms that able bodied people find distasteful. and CERTAINLY don't lie to yourself and to the world around you by claiming you're being inclusive by doing so.
i'm going against the wishes of an entire community of people in the interest of preserving the comfort of the majority, the entire stated purpose of the program is sabotaged.
do better.
February 11, 2024
An ally is not someone you can be by just supporting people in your head.
Subtle acts of exclusion, or SAE, is a new way of saying microaggression. The authors make a good case for it, too: it's about the subtle, rather than small, ways that people exclude others, and not necessarily in an aggressive fashion. I'm not a fan of the abbreviation, though, and unsurprisingly it hasn't caught on.
This is one of those texts that you read, pretty much nodding along in agreement to everything, thinking it all makes sense, and then ... reality strikes. This will only work if everyone is already trained and on board. And who is? Especially the people who are convinced they're free of bias? On training, I was mildly uncomfortable with a good chunk of the text being an introduction to each of the author's companies. I guess this was "advertisement in book form" to some degree.
No one's perfect, and the authors are open about this. Someone missed the use of "able-bodied" (an ableist term) here. I was also bothered by some pseudoscientific and grandiose claims, like:
Seriously, humans are animals and we can smell cruel intentions.
I've had this levelled against me and others. As if people can read each other's minds! "Intent doesn't matter" goes both ways. Let's focus on listening, thinking, and changing our behaviour.
Subtle acts of exclusion, or SAE, is a new way of saying microaggression. The authors make a good case for it, too: it's about the subtle, rather than small, ways that people exclude others, and not necessarily in an aggressive fashion. I'm not a fan of the abbreviation, though, and unsurprisingly it hasn't caught on.
This is one of those texts that you read, pretty much nodding along in agreement to everything, thinking it all makes sense, and then ... reality strikes. This will only work if everyone is already trained and on board. And who is? Especially the people who are convinced they're free of bias? On training, I was mildly uncomfortable with a good chunk of the text being an introduction to each of the author's companies. I guess this was "advertisement in book form" to some degree.
No one's perfect, and the authors are open about this. Someone missed the use of "able-bodied" (an ableist term) here. I was also bothered by some pseudoscientific and grandiose claims, like:
Seriously, humans are animals and we can smell cruel intentions.
I've had this levelled against me and others. As if people can read each other's minds! "Intent doesn't matter" goes both ways. Let's focus on listening, thinking, and changing our behaviour.
January 12, 2021
This was a really good book. They use the term "subtle acts of exclusion" to replace the term "microaggressions" because of the weight that word holds, and because they feel the "micro" part of the word diminishes the impact these situations cause to folks.
They give a good explanation of what microaggressions/subtle acts of exclusion are, why we should address them and how to go about addressing them if you are the recipient of the act, an observer in the situation, and if you are the initiator of the act.
They address how to handle these situations in the workplace and in social settings.
They break things down further to address specific examples of SAEs according to race, ethnicity, gender (including gender non-conformity and transgenderism), homosexuality, disability, age/generation (like, against Boomers and Millennials) and religion.
It is a very thorough book, but broken down in sections that make the reading easy and quick.
I especially liked that one of the authors is a Black no-binary person using they/them pronouns and the other is a cishet white man. I liked how they had exchanges back and forth during the book, pointing out how their, and the other author's, identity helped frame the lessons being presented.
They give a good explanation of what microaggressions/subtle acts of exclusion are, why we should address them and how to go about addressing them if you are the recipient of the act, an observer in the situation, and if you are the initiator of the act.
They address how to handle these situations in the workplace and in social settings.
They break things down further to address specific examples of SAEs according to race, ethnicity, gender (including gender non-conformity and transgenderism), homosexuality, disability, age/generation (like, against Boomers and Millennials) and religion.
It is a very thorough book, but broken down in sections that make the reading easy and quick.
I especially liked that one of the authors is a Black no-binary person using they/them pronouns and the other is a cishet white man. I liked how they had exchanges back and forth during the book, pointing out how their, and the other author's, identity helped frame the lessons being presented.
September 11, 2021
"There is empirical evidence that experiencing microaggresions takes a toll on people's emotional well-being and physical health."
"We have chosen to focus on SAE for several reasons. First, because in the workplace, SAE are extremely common but can be difficult to recognize, especially for those who do not consistently experience them."
"Subtle acts of exclusion choke out people's freedom and sense of belonging."
"In environments where SAE are never addressed, they accumulate so much around certain demographics that the subjects disengage and eventually leave the company for work somewhere that is more supportive and welcoming."
"The United States, in particular,has arguably never enjoyed the luxury of authentic, honest, inclusive discourse about our most pernicious social issues."
"Women may become disengaged in the work because they feel as if their contributions and efforts are not being seen. This is a normal and common reaction when someone is excluded by being made to feel invisible."
"Everyone wants to be seen, valued, and heard at work, and when we are not, it takes a toll on our mental health."
"All work related to diversity, equity, and inclusion begins with oneself. You must take on the task of understanding the role you play in perpetuating bias."
"We have chosen to focus on SAE for several reasons. First, because in the workplace, SAE are extremely common but can be difficult to recognize, especially for those who do not consistently experience them."
"Subtle acts of exclusion choke out people's freedom and sense of belonging."
"In environments where SAE are never addressed, they accumulate so much around certain demographics that the subjects disengage and eventually leave the company for work somewhere that is more supportive and welcoming."
"The United States, in particular,has arguably never enjoyed the luxury of authentic, honest, inclusive discourse about our most pernicious social issues."
"Women may become disengaged in the work because they feel as if their contributions and efforts are not being seen. This is a normal and common reaction when someone is excluded by being made to feel invisible."
"Everyone wants to be seen, valued, and heard at work, and when we are not, it takes a toll on our mental health."
"All work related to diversity, equity, and inclusion begins with oneself. You must take on the task of understanding the role you play in perpetuating bias."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 23, 2023
I became part of my company's DEI task force this last year. I am now seeking to learn insights about many of the issues connected to DEI. What a growth curve I have! In addition to our meetings we have been encouraged to read additional resources to simply gain insight on the broad issues that fall under DEI. This is my first additional read. Microaggressions - or Subtle Acts of Exclusion (SAE) - are real and common. Most are unintentional, but still they hurt others and lead to decreased productivity. This book looked at how SAE's appear in the workplace, and how companies can establish, train, and set expectations around healthy responses. The authors walked through examples of SAE's in the area of gender and sexuality race and ethnicity, ability, religion, and age. Healthy responses and conversations around SAE's would seem to feel awkward. I am not sure how realistic the prescribed responses of this book would fit into most work environments. But it is clear that most work environments need to work in some way to address this ongoing challenge for both the care of employees and their productivity for the company. A very thought provoking book!
February 13, 2025
Though I read this book as part of our agency-wide book study, the climate in which I read more than half of the book felt like a small act of resistance. While I wait in fear for my livelihood; my life’s work. While I sit in terrified stillness listening to people coming out of the woodwork to vilify the system I am privileged enough to help build. While I wonder if my two neurodiverse children will be afforded a life in which they are able to navigate it as freely as others. Yes, while we deal with all of that, our agency still chose to continue reading this book. I chose to continue reading this book. I chose to cling wildly to my ability to still honor every human. This book study is one (of many) of our equity commitments. I am proud to be somewhere where I can still explore equity. Hope you all are enjoying your cheap eggs.
The book is great. I encourage you to read it. If you’re not grasping to your own humanity right now, I hope whatever it is you’re clinging to brings you peace.
The book is great. I encourage you to read it. If you’re not grasping to your own humanity right now, I hope whatever it is you’re clinging to brings you peace.
September 26, 2021
A quick read with a few important gems. I really appreciated the reframing of “micro aggressions” with the language of “subtle act of exclusion.” The “SAE” definition rang much more true to me. I also really appreciated the taxonomy of the different things being communicated by subtle acts of exclusion (you don’t belong, you are a curiosity, you are invisible, you are a threat, etc). While the list felt incomplete to me, having a list in the first place made it easier for me to think about why a particular statement or action is exclusionary, and then how to verbalize it.
A lot of the examples seemed on the basic side to me, and I can imagine a lot of pushback on the emphasis on caretaking the person who made the micro aggression. Also the tone was very “business book” in a way that makes me roll my eyes sometimes. But I’m giving 4 stars because I think the big ideas are ones I’ll be thinking about for awhile.
A lot of the examples seemed on the basic side to me, and I can imagine a lot of pushback on the emphasis on caretaking the person who made the micro aggression. Also the tone was very “business book” in a way that makes me roll my eyes sometimes. But I’m giving 4 stars because I think the big ideas are ones I’ll be thinking about for awhile.
December 15, 2020
We read this as part of our company's D&I Initiative and it was fantastic! By reframing microaggressions as subtle acts of exclusion (SAE) and providing a clear procedure for how to address them when they happen, Jana and Baran give a clear framework for how to resolve these in the workplace. They also provide countless examples of SAE based on race, gender, sexual orientation, age, ability, and ethnicity, as well as examples for how to use the SAE Accountability System when those SAE happen in the work space. We recently did a presentation a work proposing using the SAE Accountability System, and we will be implementing it for immediate use. I highly recommend this resource for people striving to make their work spaces more inclusive and for people who just want to learn more about SAE in general.
April 29, 2021
The authors did marvelous work on this book. I found it in the library and then bought the audio book.
I read the 2nd half first with the examples of SAEs and then listened to the 1st half.
There are two lists in the book that I find very valuable. We have the ability to communicate to others that they are enough, they are safe and they belong.
There’s a challenge there though that I have to dig in more. What if the person you are working with believes they are naturally superior to you and can’t hear when you call them into a conversation? I know it backfired on me. Maybe that’s where institutional support comes into help. I hope the authors get good traction. I loved how they presented their backgrounds in and gave credibility to their work because they have experiences of being the other and have grappled with it
I read the 2nd half first with the examples of SAEs and then listened to the 1st half.
There are two lists in the book that I find very valuable. We have the ability to communicate to others that they are enough, they are safe and they belong.
There’s a challenge there though that I have to dig in more. What if the person you are working with believes they are naturally superior to you and can’t hear when you call them into a conversation? I know it backfired on me. Maybe that’s where institutional support comes into help. I hope the authors get good traction. I loved how they presented their backgrounds in and gave credibility to their work because they have experiences of being the other and have grappled with it
July 4, 2021
The book was quick to answer one of my lingering hesitations -- if someone inadvertently carries out an action that resulted in disheartening impact on others, is the person to be blamed? It turns out, as the authors rightly explained, that we should process these acts with impact from the perspective of the ones who suffer.
Other tools provided by the book are all very practical. We can exercise to structure challenging conversations based on the thought process taught in this book.
It's powerful to gain proper language to address complicated issues. The phrase "subtle acts of exclusion," in place of "microaggression" is a great contribution itself: neutral, precise and to the point.
I didn't give a five-star rating here, mostly because the book is a bit sellsy and bears the possible sense of promotion for professional service.
Other tools provided by the book are all very practical. We can exercise to structure challenging conversations based on the thought process taught in this book.
It's powerful to gain proper language to address complicated issues. The phrase "subtle acts of exclusion," in place of "microaggression" is a great contribution itself: neutral, precise and to the point.
I didn't give a five-star rating here, mostly because the book is a bit sellsy and bears the possible sense of promotion for professional service.
July 6, 2021
Subtle Acts of Exclusion by Tiffany Jana and Michael Baran gives examples and framework around how best to truly see and interact with others, especially those that are different from you. They start by redefining micro-aggressions to subtle acts of exclusions, which is a much better word for it. Essentially, things we do and say that show our ignorance and disrespect for others.
I liked how they approached and framed the topic. Essentially we are all going to make mistakes but we need to be aware and open to correcting any mistakes we make. The book has a lot of examples and often some of these seem small to me, but if I were on the receiving end of this, especially multiple times a day, I would certainly feel differently.
As I seek more diversity in my life and more understanding of those not like me I welcome opportunities to learn and improve.
I liked how they approached and framed the topic. Essentially we are all going to make mistakes but we need to be aware and open to correcting any mistakes we make. The book has a lot of examples and often some of these seem small to me, but if I were on the receiving end of this, especially multiple times a day, I would certainly feel differently.
As I seek more diversity in my life and more understanding of those not like me I welcome opportunities to learn and improve.
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