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尸检报告：一个殡葬师的手记
卡拉·瓦伦丁为死者工作。
在成为世界上“超恐怖”的巴斯病理学博物馆（就是BBC剧集《神探夏洛克》里福尔摩斯做实验和跳楼的那座博物馆）的馆长之前，她做了多年的尸检工作，完成了大约5000次尸检。在这本书中，她以尸检过程为叙事主线，分享了她的专业知识。
从尸体的第一个切口开始，我们将跟随作者，着手进行尸体的外部检查，随后依次进入尸体内部，解剖单独的器官，直至最后的尸体缝合。在每一个阶段，我们都会随着作者的笔触，了解尸检的过程和知识，了解人类生与死之间的历史和不断变化的文化关系，了解生命究竟是什么。
她对我们的身体最终会发生什么，有生动的洞察。书中的每一章除详细描绘尸检的其中一个环节，也描述了作者生活和工作的细节，纠正了我们从综艺节目、剧集上看到的关于尸检的错误认知。她的文字触及了我们对死亡的感受中一些更具争议的方面，比如性和死亡的关系，比如我们对人体组织收集、器官捐赠等的态度。
在成为世界上“超恐怖”的巴斯病理学博物馆（就是BBC剧集《神探夏洛克》里福尔摩斯做实验和跳楼的那座博物馆）的馆长之前，她做了多年的尸检工作，完成了大约5000次尸检。在这本书中，她以尸检过程为叙事主线，分享了她的专业知识。
从尸体的第一个切口开始，我们将跟随作者，着手进行尸体的外部检查，随后依次进入尸体内部，解剖单独的器官，直至最后的尸体缝合。在每一个阶段，我们都会随着作者的笔触，了解尸检的过程和知识，了解人类生与死之间的历史和不断变化的文化关系，了解生命究竟是什么。
她对我们的身体最终会发生什么，有生动的洞察。书中的每一章除详细描绘尸检的其中一个环节，也描述了作者生活和工作的细节，纠正了我们从综艺节目、剧集上看到的关于尸检的错误认知。她的文字触及了我们对死亡的感受中一些更具争议的方面，比如性和死亡的关系，比如我们对人体组织收集、器官捐赠等的态度。
348 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 6, 2017
218 people are currently reading
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 299 reviews
June 30, 2018
Carla Valentine is a small, blonde woman. You’ll know this because she mentions it at least three times every chapter. A police officer visiting the mortuary is in shock when Valentine - a petite, blonde woman! - opens the door. An adult is flabbergasted when Valentine - a petite, blonde girl - says she wants to be a mortician when she grows up! In one scene, Valentine gets her family to watch footage of her cracking open the ribs of a cadaver and smugly tells the reader of their shock and awe at seeing her - yes, that’s right, a blonde, petite woman! - being a mortician. There are thousands of women who have helped pave the way in this field, but Valentine seems to be under the impression she’s the first (petite, blonde) woman to have ever shown interest in a dead body. There’s certainly a cloud of narcissism that wafts from the pages.
The earlier part of the book contains few actual procedures, with Valentine preferring to describe other incidents: her experiences on movie sets (name-dropping furiously as she does so), her participation in documentaries and television shows (more name-dropping), and a half-hearted ramble about her first few experiences with death.
The latter part of the book is more focused on procedures, which Valentine somehow manages to make boring. Most of them read like laundry lists: “First, I did X, then Y, then Z”. She does try to spice them up with descriptions that are entirely irrelevant to the case: lurid details about people’s deaths and lives, or remarks about someone’s unconventional looks.
These casual asides feel tinged with disrespect at times. People are described unkindly, and not just the dead: She dismisses an older mortician that she briefly works with, stating she never bothered speaking to him since he practiced the ‘old methods’ and was therefore unimportant. The only reason he’s referenced at all is apparently so Valentine can spend a paragraph waxing lyrical about how ugly he is (presumably he wasn’t blond nor petite). It doesn’t seem to occur to her that she might still be able to learn something from this person with vast years of experience.
Valentine includes jokes not because they’re funny, but because they showcase how funny she is. She includes stories not because they’re interesting, but because they showcase a moment where she was helpful or witty or clever. If she can’t think up a gory detail to give the reader, she resorts to sexual themes or swear words to grab attention. It’s clear some of the stories are heavily exaggerated; a simple pun often has a colleague yowling and shrieking with laughter. I wondered at one point if it was ghost-written by a giggling 14-year-old.
I powered through the rest of the book in the hopes that I still might be enlightened in some way, but the writing was immature, the actual procedures were boring, and the jokes were mostly crass humour or directionless you-had-to-be-there stories. And while it’s possible to still make a witty remark about a cadaver or colleague without being dismissive or disrespectful, you’d need to be a skilled storyteller to do that. Which Valentine is clearly not.
That being said, Valentine is extraordinarily passionate and highly knowledgeable about her favourite subject: herself.
The earlier part of the book contains few actual procedures, with Valentine preferring to describe other incidents: her experiences on movie sets (name-dropping furiously as she does so), her participation in documentaries and television shows (more name-dropping), and a half-hearted ramble about her first few experiences with death.
The latter part of the book is more focused on procedures, which Valentine somehow manages to make boring. Most of them read like laundry lists: “First, I did X, then Y, then Z”. She does try to spice them up with descriptions that are entirely irrelevant to the case: lurid details about people’s deaths and lives, or remarks about someone’s unconventional looks.
These casual asides feel tinged with disrespect at times. People are described unkindly, and not just the dead: She dismisses an older mortician that she briefly works with, stating she never bothered speaking to him since he practiced the ‘old methods’ and was therefore unimportant. The only reason he’s referenced at all is apparently so Valentine can spend a paragraph waxing lyrical about how ugly he is (presumably he wasn’t blond nor petite). It doesn’t seem to occur to her that she might still be able to learn something from this person with vast years of experience.
Valentine includes jokes not because they’re funny, but because they showcase how funny she is. She includes stories not because they’re interesting, but because they showcase a moment where she was helpful or witty or clever. If she can’t think up a gory detail to give the reader, she resorts to sexual themes or swear words to grab attention. It’s clear some of the stories are heavily exaggerated; a simple pun often has a colleague yowling and shrieking with laughter. I wondered at one point if it was ghost-written by a giggling 14-year-old.
I powered through the rest of the book in the hopes that I still might be enlightened in some way, but the writing was immature, the actual procedures were boring, and the jokes were mostly crass humour or directionless you-had-to-be-there stories. And while it’s possible to still make a witty remark about a cadaver or colleague without being dismissive or disrespectful, you’d need to be a skilled storyteller to do that. Which Valentine is clearly not.
That being said, Valentine is extraordinarily passionate and highly knowledgeable about her favourite subject: herself.
June 25, 2017
I was very excited about this book, and even pre-ordered it. This is exactly my kind of thing, and I am very interested in the Death Positive movement. I love the pathologists I follow on Instagram, got a trip to the Mütter for Christmas, and am a big Caitlin Doughty fan. I was so disappointed with this book that I unfollowed the author on Facebook and Instagram.
The positives are that the actual autopsy and anatomy subject matter are interesting, and I learned new things. If you have a weak stomach, this book probably isn't for you. It's very interesting to be walked through an autopsy from start to finish, and to have the inconsistencies pointed out as they're represented in the media.
I found the negatives to be many. The book is not just a non-fiction exploration of death and mortuaries, it's also the author's memoir. Most books of this type do this expertly and elegantly, weaving the author's experience in with the subject matter (Smoke Gets in Your Eyes is a great example). I found the memoir aspect of this book clumsy and eye roll-inducing. For example, the author at one point talks about hearts and goes on a cringey philosophical tangent about life, seemingly while she is meant to be weighing the organ during an autopsy. She even says that she was staring into space while doing this and had to be snapped out of it. This passage seemed so deliberate and inauthentic. In many places, the language is contrived and clumsy in this way. Another example is that the author shares every detail of her workout routine, including how long it was, what she did, and how she showered afterward. While I understand that this is part of her experience, most memoir authors need to edit themselves, because a reader doesn't want to read every aspect of the author's day, especially if it doesn't directly pertain to the subject matter.
Another thing you will learn in this book is that the author is petite and blonde. She takes a lot of pleasure in not being the expected pathology technician, and she repeats this many times. This, I think, is part of the reason for the detailed accounts of her workouts. If you haven't forgotten by now, she is petite and blonde (oh, but now she is a redhead, an experience she likens to washing off a body because of the same presence of pink foam - really!). I found the author's self-focus grating several times.
Additionally, as with the pink foam example above, the writing is just not very good. The book is organized into chapters, but each chapter jumps around without theme. Eventually, she'll come back to the main thread, but the result is an unfocused, meandering narrative.
My biggest disappointment and complaint about this book, and the reason for unfollowing the author, is the blatantly disrespectful body shaming. It's very clear that the author takes a lot of pride in her petite frame and her workout routine. But the extent she goes to make her disapproval and personal fear of fat clear is an aspect I found abhorrent. A tame example is that she comments that some colleagues teased her for gaining weight. This sent her into a spiral of self-reflection she felt necessary to include in the book. Including that these comments induced her to double her workout routine (of course, because gaining weight when you're already healthy and fit would be tragic). But don't worry, readers, it was just being on the pill! Obviously, this ties into the self-editing issue above, but also gives insight into her mentality on weight. The most egregious and objectionable example, however, was one where she shared how she made a pact with her colleague to do the bariatric (obese) cases while she would take the decomps. Why are obese people more unappealing to her than bloat, maggots, and purge? Because she is so tiny and petite (her colleagues even call her "Tiny," just to underscore the point), that she fears opening up an obese body cavity and tumbling right in, with only her teeny, precious legs poking out and waving. At this point, I almost couldn't finish. I couldn't believe that someone who works on all kinds of people and is there for the dead to ensure they're treated respectfully, could be so disrespectful and mean. In my experience, many folks in this industry are kind, accepting, and open-minded, so this came as a shock.
I had high hopes for this book, but only the educational details kept me from giving it one star.
The positives are that the actual autopsy and anatomy subject matter are interesting, and I learned new things. If you have a weak stomach, this book probably isn't for you. It's very interesting to be walked through an autopsy from start to finish, and to have the inconsistencies pointed out as they're represented in the media.
I found the negatives to be many. The book is not just a non-fiction exploration of death and mortuaries, it's also the author's memoir. Most books of this type do this expertly and elegantly, weaving the author's experience in with the subject matter (Smoke Gets in Your Eyes is a great example). I found the memoir aspect of this book clumsy and eye roll-inducing. For example, the author at one point talks about hearts and goes on a cringey philosophical tangent about life, seemingly while she is meant to be weighing the organ during an autopsy. She even says that she was staring into space while doing this and had to be snapped out of it. This passage seemed so deliberate and inauthentic. In many places, the language is contrived and clumsy in this way. Another example is that the author shares every detail of her workout routine, including how long it was, what she did, and how she showered afterward. While I understand that this is part of her experience, most memoir authors need to edit themselves, because a reader doesn't want to read every aspect of the author's day, especially if it doesn't directly pertain to the subject matter.
Another thing you will learn in this book is that the author is petite and blonde. She takes a lot of pleasure in not being the expected pathology technician, and she repeats this many times. This, I think, is part of the reason for the detailed accounts of her workouts. If you haven't forgotten by now, she is petite and blonde (oh, but now she is a redhead, an experience she likens to washing off a body because of the same presence of pink foam - really!). I found the author's self-focus grating several times.
Additionally, as with the pink foam example above, the writing is just not very good. The book is organized into chapters, but each chapter jumps around without theme. Eventually, she'll come back to the main thread, but the result is an unfocused, meandering narrative.
My biggest disappointment and complaint about this book, and the reason for unfollowing the author, is the blatantly disrespectful body shaming. It's very clear that the author takes a lot of pride in her petite frame and her workout routine. But the extent she goes to make her disapproval and personal fear of fat clear is an aspect I found abhorrent. A tame example is that she comments that some colleagues teased her for gaining weight. This sent her into a spiral of self-reflection she felt necessary to include in the book. Including that these comments induced her to double her workout routine (of course, because gaining weight when you're already healthy and fit would be tragic). But don't worry, readers, it was just being on the pill! Obviously, this ties into the self-editing issue above, but also gives insight into her mentality on weight. The most egregious and objectionable example, however, was one where she shared how she made a pact with her colleague to do the bariatric (obese) cases while she would take the decomps. Why are obese people more unappealing to her than bloat, maggots, and purge? Because she is so tiny and petite (her colleagues even call her "Tiny," just to underscore the point), that she fears opening up an obese body cavity and tumbling right in, with only her teeny, precious legs poking out and waving. At this point, I almost couldn't finish. I couldn't believe that someone who works on all kinds of people and is there for the dead to ensure they're treated respectfully, could be so disrespectful and mean. In my experience, many folks in this industry are kind, accepting, and open-minded, so this came as a shock.
I had high hopes for this book, but only the educational details kept me from giving it one star.
August 1, 2017
I found the subject matter interesting and the author seems like she would make a great dinner party guest. I think I would have enjoyed it more if the structure of the book had been more cohesive. The book was fragmented and I had no idea what time frame anything occurred in. Also I'm not that bright so all the technical terms were difficult to understand. She should have dumbed it down a bit.
That being said Past Mortems was a quick and fun look at a dark and serious vocation. I'm morbid so books like this hit me in my sweet spot. If you too are a morbid weirdo like me I would also suggest reading Mary Roach's book Stiff.
That being said Past Mortems was a quick and fun look at a dark and serious vocation. I'm morbid so books like this hit me in my sweet spot. If you too are a morbid weirdo like me I would also suggest reading Mary Roach's book Stiff.
March 28, 2018
Read this book if you're interested in Carla Valentine.
Don't read this book if you're interested in pathology.
Don't read this book if you're interested in pathology.
December 19, 2018
When I ask myself if I’d change any of the life decisions I made in my life, the only thing I can usually think about is my utterly useless archaeology degree. I know: I was in love with the science and wanted to give my dream a shot. But life unfolds in unexpected ways, and then you end up doing a job that has nothing to do with what you studied in, and paying back a student loan, wondering why you spent all this money for a degree you aren’t using. When my brain goes down that road, what I often end up thinking is that if I could go back and do it all over again, I’d get a degree in mortuary science (which, in Canada, is a 2-year program followed by an apprenticeship). A very practical (and slightly cynical) part of my mind thinks that this is probably the one industry that has zero chance of collapsing and that I’d always be able to find a decent job. Another part thinks that it would have been a good way to earn a living for an introvert who finds taking care of people rewarding. While there are funeral home franchises in Canada, most of them are still family-owned and run, which is a business model I value deeply. Also, I don’t get grossed out easily.
So Carla Valentine’s book really beckoned to me from its shelf in the book store – especially with that awesome cover art! I looked her up, and she is an adorable rockabilly, tattooed, red lipstick wearing lady who always seems to be posing for pictures with skulls or brains. Yup, this book was meant to fall into my hands.
“Past Mortems” could fall into a lot of categories: its partially a memoir, partially a “for dummies” guide to the fascinating world behind the curtain of your friendly neighborhood funeral home (with plenty of technical terms – to the point where it can get a smidge confusing) and partially a philosophical reflection on Western society’s attitude towards death and grieving. But this mix of themes does make the book a bit scattered. The topics and timeline of her stories are a bit topsy-turvy, and while all topics are connected, a bit of editing or simply organizing the books in clearer sections would have been better than this free-form format.
You have to give it to Valentine: she has a way with words and her prose is pleasant and sometimes quite beautiful, something that you rarely see in a non-fiction book, and that I’m sure most people would not expect from a book in this particular topic. She also had the gallows humor you’d expect from someone who used to work with dead bodies and is now the technical curator of a pathology museum; but worry not, she may be kind of dark, but she is also very obviously passionate about her subject and deeply respectful of both the work and the, ahem, cadavers she used to handle.
This book gets 3 stars because I wish there was more material on the job and some more technical details, and a bit less of the memoir bits. I'll be looking for more books on the subject!
So Carla Valentine’s book really beckoned to me from its shelf in the book store – especially with that awesome cover art! I looked her up, and she is an adorable rockabilly, tattooed, red lipstick wearing lady who always seems to be posing for pictures with skulls or brains. Yup, this book was meant to fall into my hands.
“Past Mortems” could fall into a lot of categories: its partially a memoir, partially a “for dummies” guide to the fascinating world behind the curtain of your friendly neighborhood funeral home (with plenty of technical terms – to the point where it can get a smidge confusing) and partially a philosophical reflection on Western society’s attitude towards death and grieving. But this mix of themes does make the book a bit scattered. The topics and timeline of her stories are a bit topsy-turvy, and while all topics are connected, a bit of editing or simply organizing the books in clearer sections would have been better than this free-form format.
You have to give it to Valentine: she has a way with words and her prose is pleasant and sometimes quite beautiful, something that you rarely see in a non-fiction book, and that I’m sure most people would not expect from a book in this particular topic. She also had the gallows humor you’d expect from someone who used to work with dead bodies and is now the technical curator of a pathology museum; but worry not, she may be kind of dark, but she is also very obviously passionate about her subject and deeply respectful of both the work and the, ahem, cadavers she used to handle.
This book gets 3 stars because I wish there was more material on the job and some more technical details, and a bit less of the memoir bits. I'll be looking for more books on the subject!
January 28, 2025
‘…my career with the dead has spanned embalming, medical dissection and prosection, excavation and examination of bones as well as conserving historical human remains.’
Carla Valentine starts the book when she was a trainee Anatomical Pathology Technologist (APT). One of the first things you need to learn is the art of evisceration which is cutting the body and removing the organs. The first time she did this was on a 45-year-old anorexic dentist. Quite a gruesome start but what really did I expect?
She goes back to when she was a child and how this was the job she always wanted and went out and got it. The first mortuary she worked in sounded like the one from the ‘Return of the Living Dead’ movie and also the characters. Wearing their own clothes with just an apron while smoking and bringing in a dog that roamed the rooms. Then it was modernised, thankfully.
Valentine throws in a bit of history which is always a great addition to these types of books. She also goes over the process of body decomposition after death. Lovely stuff. It reads like lyrics from an early Carcass album.
The book is a mix of autobiography / memoir, the science of death, the role of different religions in death and the role of an APT. There are certainly some interesting nuggets of information. Some of which you do not want to be eating a sandwich while reading. There are some very sad parts especially when the author is dealing with babies and toddlers. All in all a solid book that provides a peek at what happens behind those mortuary doors.
Carla Valentine starts the book when she was a trainee Anatomical Pathology Technologist (APT). One of the first things you need to learn is the art of evisceration which is cutting the body and removing the organs. The first time she did this was on a 45-year-old anorexic dentist. Quite a gruesome start but what really did I expect?
She goes back to when she was a child and how this was the job she always wanted and went out and got it. The first mortuary she worked in sounded like the one from the ‘Return of the Living Dead’ movie and also the characters. Wearing their own clothes with just an apron while smoking and bringing in a dog that roamed the rooms. Then it was modernised, thankfully.
Valentine throws in a bit of history which is always a great addition to these types of books. She also goes over the process of body decomposition after death. Lovely stuff. It reads like lyrics from an early Carcass album.
The book is a mix of autobiography / memoir, the science of death, the role of different religions in death and the role of an APT. There are certainly some interesting nuggets of information. Some of which you do not want to be eating a sandwich while reading. There are some very sad parts especially when the author is dealing with babies and toddlers. All in all a solid book that provides a peek at what happens behind those mortuary doors.
November 10, 2023
I'm a big fan of Caitlin Doughty. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons from the Crematory, From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death, Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? And other Questions about Dead Bodies - I've read and loved them all. I also read The Science of Murder: The Forensics of Agatha Christie, former pathology technician Carla Valentine's most recent book last year and adored it - it was one of those books that I wish I could read for the first time again because the feeling of reading it had me on such a geeky high.
A year later, I wanted those feelings all over again so I picked up her first book, a memoir of her time spent working closely with the dead: what the job was, how she emotionally (and physically!) handled it, and what it taught her about both life and death.
It was a great read, but I think The Science of Murder will always hold a very special place in my heart.
Click here to hear more of my thoughts on this book over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
A year later, I wanted those feelings all over again so I picked up her first book, a memoir of her time spent working closely with the dead: what the job was, how she emotionally (and physically!) handled it, and what it taught her about both life and death.
It was a great read, but I think The Science of Murder will always hold a very special place in my heart.
Click here to hear more of my thoughts on this book over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
June 28, 2017
A day in the life of Carla Valentine a curator, pathology technician and 'death professional' She spent ten years training and working as an Anatomical Pathology Technologist: where the mortuary slab was her desk.
Past Mortems tells Carla's stories of those years, as well as investigating the body alongside our attitudes towards death - shedding light on what the living can learn from the dead and the toll the work can take on the living who carry it out. Some real laugh out loud moments throughout.
Part memoir and part manifesto, Valentine’s book lifts the lid on daily life in the mortuary with detailed descriptions of dissection, decomposition and reconstruction of dead bodies, with insights from history, science and anthropology.
I love how each process was described with sensory precision, as a result I feel I could dissect some shit up after reading this. this one is not for the fainthearted, As Valentine leaves nothing to the imagination.
A Fast paced read that's not only interesting but Fascinating and insightful. I couldn't put it down, if you are interested in what happens when we die then pick this one up. As Past Mortems reveals the truth about what happens before the lid of the coffin slams shut...
Past Mortems tells Carla's stories of those years, as well as investigating the body alongside our attitudes towards death - shedding light on what the living can learn from the dead and the toll the work can take on the living who carry it out. Some real laugh out loud moments throughout.
Part memoir and part manifesto, Valentine’s book lifts the lid on daily life in the mortuary with detailed descriptions of dissection, decomposition and reconstruction of dead bodies, with insights from history, science and anthropology.
I love how each process was described with sensory precision, as a result I feel I could dissect some shit up after reading this. this one is not for the fainthearted, As Valentine leaves nothing to the imagination.
A Fast paced read that's not only interesting but Fascinating and insightful. I couldn't put it down, if you are interested in what happens when we die then pick this one up. As Past Mortems reveals the truth about what happens before the lid of the coffin slams shut...
July 7, 2018
A rare glimpse at life behind the UK’s mortuary doors. Many books similar to this are from the other side of the atlantic, so it was refreshing to read about how death is professionally handled on home soil.
The author is gracious and respectful and oh so protective of the profession she loves. From a very young age she knew what she was destined to do; and do it well she did. Her book documents her journey from novice to professional mortician and further to her current role as museum curator.
There are some fascinating aspects to this book and I did indeed learn something new about the mortuary industry and the challenges faced by pathologists and their teams. The author describes in great detail just how painstakingly accurate their work has to be, particularly in forensic cases. I found the parts where the author describes how different religions approach death very interesting.
The author keeps her private and personal life close to her chest in her book. I would have liked to have known a bit more about her aside from her career. However, this was a very enjoyable and worthwhile read for those interested in medical science.
The author is gracious and respectful and oh so protective of the profession she loves. From a very young age she knew what she was destined to do; and do it well she did. Her book documents her journey from novice to professional mortician and further to her current role as museum curator.
There are some fascinating aspects to this book and I did indeed learn something new about the mortuary industry and the challenges faced by pathologists and their teams. The author describes in great detail just how painstakingly accurate their work has to be, particularly in forensic cases. I found the parts where the author describes how different religions approach death very interesting.
The author keeps her private and personal life close to her chest in her book. I would have liked to have known a bit more about her aside from her career. However, this was a very enjoyable and worthwhile read for those interested in medical science.
July 30, 2020
To echo another review read if you want to learn about Carla Valentine being a (small blonde) woman because she will mention this about 49 times in the first 50 pages. This is the ultimate in ‘I’m not like the other girls’. What a waste.
March 23, 2019
я люблю патологоанатомічні мемуари, тому й цей дочитала. загалом же це така underwhelming книжка, якій я навіть не знаю, що допомогло б. написати її про іншу людину, може.
власне, це найбільша проблема тексту: він значно менше про життя за дверима моргу, ніж про життя карли валентайн. а вона й персонажка не найяскравіша, й історій захопливих не дуже багато має, тому читачам треба вдовольнятися фрагментиками про те, як вона ходила в телевізор і всі її там любили, як вона у присутності шефині назвала її чоловіка hot або як вона працювала з жертвами лондонського теракту 2005 року, але не може розкривати деталей із поваги до їхніх рідних, тому більше нічого не скаже. на перших сорока сторінках валентайн знаходить три окремі причини нагадати, що вона маленька, худенька блондинка, і тому всі страшно дивуються, що така працює в морзі (надворі двохтисячні роки, між іншим), і спочатку я думала, що це пунктик, – не бездоказово, до речі: вона сама розповідає, що на першому робочому місці не бралася за розтини товстих людей, бо мала фобію, що впаде їм усередину й не зможе вибратися, – але тепер починаю припускати, що, може, нічого захопливішого до розповідання просто не було.
із плюсів: загалом патологоанатомічні мемуари приїздять із америки, а валентайн – британка, тож це шанс подивитися на трохи інший підхід до роботи.
із застережень: на гудрідсі є ще її одна книжка, «the chick and the dead: tales of a life in death», – але це той самий текст, просто виданий у штатах під іншою назвою, яка таки краще описує вміст.
власне, це найбільша проблема тексту: він значно менше про життя за дверима моргу, ніж про життя карли валентайн. а вона й персонажка не найяскравіша, й історій захопливих не дуже багато має, тому читачам треба вдовольнятися фрагментиками про те, як вона ходила в телевізор і всі її там любили, як вона у присутності шефині назвала її чоловіка hot або як вона працювала з жертвами лондонського теракту 2005 року, але не може розкривати деталей із поваги до їхніх рідних, тому більше нічого не скаже. на перших сорока сторінках валентайн знаходить три окремі причини нагадати, що вона маленька, худенька блондинка, і тому всі страшно дивуються, що така працює в морзі (надворі двохтисячні роки, між іншим), і спочатку я думала, що це пунктик, – не бездоказово, до речі: вона сама розповідає, що на першому робочому місці не бралася за розтини товстих людей, бо мала фобію, що впаде їм усередину й не зможе вибратися, – але тепер починаю припускати, що, може, нічого захопливішого до розповідання просто не було.
із плюсів: загалом патологоанатомічні мемуари приїздять із америки, а валентайн – британка, тож це шанс подивитися на трохи інший підхід до роботи.
із застережень: на гудрідсі є ще її одна книжка, «the chick and the dead: tales of a life in death», – але це той самий текст, просто виданий у штатах під іншою назвою, яка таки краще описує вміст.
July 2, 2017
I feel a little awkward going against the grain here... but I did not enjoy this book. I was expecting stories around autopsy and I only got three, maybe four autopsy stories in the whole book. I found the narration slightly narcissistic at times. I enjoyed the bits about history, but towards the end I was over it! I felt like I'd read a history book slash autobiography, which is not what I paid for. This wasn't a bad book, it just isn't what it is advertised as. Which irked me. I'm disappointed overall.
February 24, 2021
Did someone say....petite blonde....? Interesting subject matter tainted a bit by the narration, very 'I'm not like other girls'.
May 23, 2017
When I was in the first grade, I discovered the joy of books and waited with "ants in my pants" until it was my turn to talk about my favorite book and almost jumped and down with excitement over the picture book, "Don't Count Your Chicks." I got the same feeling from Carla Valentine, in that she had been waiting for years to tell us about her passion, and in this case, death.
It all started when at seven years of age, she watched her grandfather suffer a massive stroke that later killed him. As she watched, she wasn't terrified, but watched with interest: " ...I do remember one thing about his death--I had been intrigued as well as afraid." When she was nine, she decided to become a mortician, which in the U.K. is their term for a mortuary technician, usually working with forensics experts.
What follows is her look at the job of tending dead bodies, no matter how they died. And what details she divulges! Fascinating, gross, stomach-churning, revolting, Valentine reveals just about everything you can imagine about what happens to corpses. But you won't be able to look away.
I have a very morbid fascination with the process of death, no matter how icky the details can get, and this very detailed look into how the people died and how they are handled by the morgue attendants did not disappoint--I just had to make sure to not read it during a meal.
For a perfect trio of irreverent-yet-respectful narratives about cadavers, add this to Mary Roach's Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Caitlin Doughty's Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory.
Thanks to the publisher for the advance reading copy.
It all started when at seven years of age, she watched her grandfather suffer a massive stroke that later killed him. As she watched, she wasn't terrified, but watched with interest: " ...I do remember one thing about his death--I had been intrigued as well as afraid." When she was nine, she decided to become a mortician, which in the U.K. is their term for a mortuary technician, usually working with forensics experts.
What follows is her look at the job of tending dead bodies, no matter how they died. And what details she divulges! Fascinating, gross, stomach-churning, revolting, Valentine reveals just about everything you can imagine about what happens to corpses. But you won't be able to look away.
I have a very morbid fascination with the process of death, no matter how icky the details can get, and this very detailed look into how the people died and how they are handled by the morgue attendants did not disappoint--I just had to make sure to not read it during a meal.
For a perfect trio of irreverent-yet-respectful narratives about cadavers, add this to Mary Roach's Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Caitlin Doughty's Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory.
Thanks to the publisher for the advance reading copy.
April 18, 2017
Carla Valentine documents her personal journey to becoming an Anatomic Pathology Technologist (or mortician, as she prefers). With humour, compassion and scholarship she explains the need for post mortem examination and describes all aspects of it in vivid detail. For me, what shines from every page is how much she cares: for the bereaved families, for society as a whole and in particular for the dead themselves.
Mortuaries are strange and demanding places, physically, emotionally and organisationally. Many of the staff who dedicate themselves to the hugely important job of looking after mortal remains develop unhealthy or even self-destructive coping strategies. Carla describes the inevitable toll her job took on her. In her current employment and by writing this book, she is using her formidable skills in the continued service of the dead and to educate and engage the living.
Mortuaries are strange and demanding places, physically, emotionally and organisationally. Many of the staff who dedicate themselves to the hugely important job of looking after mortal remains develop unhealthy or even self-destructive coping strategies. Carla describes the inevitable toll her job took on her. In her current employment and by writing this book, she is using her formidable skills in the continued service of the dead and to educate and engage the living.
February 8, 2024
Carla Valentine opens the doors on her personal and professional life in this very interesting look into the "death business " and all that this entails. I felt strongly that she had put a lot of herself into this book and the details of how her work intertwined with her personal life. This made for an engaging read. I did struggle with the order in which this book is written. She jumps back and forth between different periods of her life, and I found this confusing for the first 2/3 of the book.
March 25, 2019
I have slight Thanatophobia (the fear of death) so of course I adore reading these type of books and find them soooo compelling!
This account of her very interesting life in the land of mortuaries and museums, makes Carla Valentine seem like the perfect dinner guest who has some fantastic stories to tell!
This is a very well written debut autobiographical book, and I was fascinated by her desire from a young age to be in this line of work.
A good read.
This account of her very interesting life in the land of mortuaries and museums, makes Carla Valentine seem like the perfect dinner guest who has some fantastic stories to tell!
This is a very well written debut autobiographical book, and I was fascinated by her desire from a young age to be in this line of work.
A good read.
August 11, 2018
Thoroughly enjoyable. I love the death positive movement and Carla's writing style is humorous and easy to read. I felt this was a really good mixture of her personal and professional life, written in a way that made me feel like I'd seen a little window into her life and it left me wondering if I could do a job like that.
September 1, 2017
A memoir of a life among the dead, by a British woman writing with compassion, wit and yes, morbid curiosity about her career in the mortuary arts.
July 17, 2022
What It's About:
"Carla Valentine works with the dead. After studying forensics, she assisted pathologists with post-mortems for years before becoming the curator of the world's most famous pathology museum. When it comes to death, she truly is an expert, and in this book she shares that expertise." - from Goodreads
My thoughts: This book is about a topic (autopsy, forensics, and pathology) I am very interested and curious about. I find that I will always learn something new and this always keep me intrigued, and this book delivered just that! The author is a well-known Technical Curator of Barts Pathology Museum and I enjoyed following her career journey in this book.
This book is filled with a lot of information which I liked but unfortunately it was not presented in a way I could easily remember or understand. Not that it was too sciency. I personally felt the information was all over the place, jumpy and I was left confused most of the time. I wish it was structured in a better way.
Regardless, I am glad I've read this book. Although I did not enjoy it as much as I would like to, I will still be reading her next book - The Science of Murder: The Forensics of Agatha Christie.
My thoughts: This book is about a topic (autopsy, forensics, and pathology) I am very interested and curious about. I find that I will always learn something new and this always keep me intrigued, and this book delivered just that! The author is a well-known Technical Curator of Barts Pathology Museum and I enjoyed following her career journey in this book.
This book is filled with a lot of information which I liked but unfortunately it was not presented in a way I could easily remember or understand. Not that it was too sciency. I personally felt the information was all over the place, jumpy and I was left confused most of the time. I wish it was structured in a better way.
Regardless, I am glad I've read this book. Although I did not enjoy it as much as I would like to, I will still be reading her next book - The Science of Murder: The Forensics of Agatha Christie.
January 21, 2025
Carla Valentine has spent a lot of her life with the dead. As a curator, pathology technician and APT (anatomical pathology technologist) she’s worked with and cared for all manner of dead bodies, from babies to those who have been hit by a train (the latter usually ending up in pieces).
Past Mortems is Carla’s insight into her working life and the contemplation of life and death. It’s definitely not for the faint hearted; you’ll hear how she carefully sees bodies back together and you’ll discover all the stages of decomposition to make just few. I loved it. I found it all completely and utterly fascinating. It’s not a job I could consider for a second but it’s something which draws and repels me simultaneously.
Well written, captivating and very thought provoking
Past Mortems is Carla’s insight into her working life and the contemplation of life and death. It’s definitely not for the faint hearted; you’ll hear how she carefully sees bodies back together and you’ll discover all the stages of decomposition to make just few. I loved it. I found it all completely and utterly fascinating. It’s not a job I could consider for a second but it’s something which draws and repels me simultaneously.
Well written, captivating and very thought provoking
February 13, 2018
“Past Mortems: Life & Death Behind Mortuary Doors” is a recollection of the experiences Carla Valentine had when she was an APT (Anatomical Pathology Technologist)…… aka a Mortician.
It was everything I had hoped for and more! I first saw this book as a recommendation on Goodreads about 7 months or so ago and I’ve been dying to read it ever since (no pun intended!).
Carla Valentine wanted to be a Mortician since she was nine years old and she carried through her dreams and made them into reality through hard work and perseverance.
This book goes into detail about Carla’s early days as an APT trainee. One of the first scenes talks about when she made her first Y-incision. To some, it could be quite gory but these are the parts that I was most interested in! The more detail, the better and she certainly delivered.
My favourite part of the book was when she went through the five stages of decay of the human body. It’s all so fascinating to me and to think our bodies do this of their own accord is insane. The five stages are fresh, bloat, active decay, advanced decay and dry remains. The detail she goes into in each section was great. It’s all stuff that you don’t find out from TV shows or movies and that’s because death is such a taboo subject. No one wants to talk about it but it’s inevitable, its going to happen to you one day. I guess that may be why people don’t want to know but I think it’s really interesting. There were quite a few gory scenes including a description of peeling the scalp away from the skull and sawing into the skull to access the brain…..it was VERY descriptive but it was AWESOME!
This book was written in such a way that you could understand everything Carla was talking about clearly as well as being educated. There was even some humour in there which in all honesty, I wasn’t expecting and it make the book even better. She talks of the pranks that used to be played on trainees in the morgue – your cliché alive human being in a body bag pretending to be dead and surprising the trainee as they open the body bag. There was also a scene where she talked about an autopsy that she was doing and the body was in a state of rigor mortis (where the muscles in the body stiffen due to the chemical change in the body) and she had to lift the arm of the person up. She then proceeded to get something from the bottom end of the body and the arm came back down and smacked her on the bum! Far too funny but also bloody terrifying!!
Along with the educational aspects and the humour, there were some dark patches too. In one position, she was in charge of doing autopsies of young children and babies. She was also responsible for organizing their burials because they had been ‘unclaimed’. During this position, Carla herself suffered from a miscarriage to a man who was married, unbeknownst to her. I liked the way that Carla talked about these hard times because it humanized the book a lot. It wasn’t just about death, it was about Carla herself and reading it, I feel like I got to know her.
I think the emotion that Carla showed towards the decedents (bodies) was really nice. A lot of people say in those jobs that you cant have any emotional investment in it because its very harrowing, however, I see it from Carla’s point of view. You have to have emotions in this job because you are doing what is best for the decedent and that requires a certain amount of care. Without that emotion, I don’t think you would be doing as good a job or pertain the amount of care needed.
Overall, this was a great read and she has some great stories to share. Absolutely loved it!
It was everything I had hoped for and more! I first saw this book as a recommendation on Goodreads about 7 months or so ago and I’ve been dying to read it ever since (no pun intended!).
Carla Valentine wanted to be a Mortician since she was nine years old and she carried through her dreams and made them into reality through hard work and perseverance.
This book goes into detail about Carla’s early days as an APT trainee. One of the first scenes talks about when she made her first Y-incision. To some, it could be quite gory but these are the parts that I was most interested in! The more detail, the better and she certainly delivered.
My favourite part of the book was when she went through the five stages of decay of the human body. It’s all so fascinating to me and to think our bodies do this of their own accord is insane. The five stages are fresh, bloat, active decay, advanced decay and dry remains. The detail she goes into in each section was great. It’s all stuff that you don’t find out from TV shows or movies and that’s because death is such a taboo subject. No one wants to talk about it but it’s inevitable, its going to happen to you one day. I guess that may be why people don’t want to know but I think it’s really interesting. There were quite a few gory scenes including a description of peeling the scalp away from the skull and sawing into the skull to access the brain…..it was VERY descriptive but it was AWESOME!
This book was written in such a way that you could understand everything Carla was talking about clearly as well as being educated. There was even some humour in there which in all honesty, I wasn’t expecting and it make the book even better. She talks of the pranks that used to be played on trainees in the morgue – your cliché alive human being in a body bag pretending to be dead and surprising the trainee as they open the body bag. There was also a scene where she talked about an autopsy that she was doing and the body was in a state of rigor mortis (where the muscles in the body stiffen due to the chemical change in the body) and she had to lift the arm of the person up. She then proceeded to get something from the bottom end of the body and the arm came back down and smacked her on the bum! Far too funny but also bloody terrifying!!
Along with the educational aspects and the humour, there were some dark patches too. In one position, she was in charge of doing autopsies of young children and babies. She was also responsible for organizing their burials because they had been ‘unclaimed’. During this position, Carla herself suffered from a miscarriage to a man who was married, unbeknownst to her. I liked the way that Carla talked about these hard times because it humanized the book a lot. It wasn’t just about death, it was about Carla herself and reading it, I feel like I got to know her.
I think the emotion that Carla showed towards the decedents (bodies) was really nice. A lot of people say in those jobs that you cant have any emotional investment in it because its very harrowing, however, I see it from Carla’s point of view. You have to have emotions in this job because you are doing what is best for the decedent and that requires a certain amount of care. Without that emotion, I don’t think you would be doing as good a job or pertain the amount of care needed.
Overall, this was a great read and she has some great stories to share. Absolutely loved it!
November 17, 2019
This is not a ‘bad book’ per say (is there even such a thing?) and it is an informative and interesting read about what will, might and could happen to you once you bite the big one. So I can see how it has garnered higher ratings. However this is definitely an autobiographical journey of someone who has a career in death. So prepare for a lot of Carla Valentine-centred stories and anecdotes. For me the book got better as it went along, almost as though the writing matures and improves as the Carla who moves through the events of her life - as told in the book - did. By the end I did feel more of a depth and a connection than in the early chapters. However you have to stick it out through those initial chapters where you-had-to-be-there moments fall flat and insipidly unfunny jokes abound. And yes, you won’t be forgetting that Carla Valentine is a very small, so small, possibly too-minuscule-to-be-seen-with-the-naked-eye, blonde woman, who really shouldn’t be so interested in death.
Update: After reading Caitlin Doughty’s ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’ I can’t help but notice how similar these are (Doughty’s was published first in 2015, with Valentine’s following in 2017). Not similar in that they’re both about young women working with the dead but in the structure and even the events. Déjà vu I tell you.
Update: After reading Caitlin Doughty’s ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’ I can’t help but notice how similar these are (Doughty’s was published first in 2015, with Valentine’s following in 2017). Not similar in that they’re both about young women working with the dead but in the structure and even the events. Déjà vu I tell you.
August 18, 2017
Detailed and engaging account of how the author became a mortuary worker, advanced in the field, and what she learned and did. Not for the squeamish but not sensationalized either. Set in England so some procedures are different from in the US (e.g. as described in Caitlin Doughty's book "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes," which I preferred) Author's life experiences and emotions are interwoven with the story so if you want "just the facts" you'll want to either skip over those sections or skip this book.
For adult and older teen readers curious about what goes on in a mortuary and like learning about the author's life as well.
For adult and older teen readers curious about what goes on in a mortuary and like learning about the author's life as well.
April 19, 2017
The most fascinating book I read in a very long time.
September 18, 2017
Awesome
The book is intriguing from the very first page to the last. It allows a window in to both the authors life and pathology.
The experiences written about in the book are completely relatable to most of the audience.
The window into pathology shows what is required to follow through the door into a life of death.
Once again a great book, super hard to put down when reading.
The book is intriguing from the very first page to the last. It allows a window in to both the authors life and pathology.
The experiences written about in the book are completely relatable to most of the audience.
The window into pathology shows what is required to follow through the door into a life of death.
Once again a great book, super hard to put down when reading.
April 25, 2019
I really wanted to enjoy this book, but I could only stomach about 100 or so pages before I had to tap out.
She speaks more of herself in a smug fashion, name drops celebrities and her television appearances than any actual procedures.
I was disappointed to say the least, and won't be finishing it.
She speaks more of herself in a smug fashion, name drops celebrities and her television appearances than any actual procedures.
I was disappointed to say the least, and won't be finishing it.
May 28, 2017
Enlightening and honest. I really enjoyed this and learned a lot - I've always been interested in death and funeral customs, but this has made me want to learn more.
January 1, 2019
Loved it! It was so well written I loved that she entwined her story with the practicalities of a post mortem.
October 18, 2021
I truly appreciated this.
Death freaks me out. It still does but I surprisingly found this less disturbing than other reads on the subject that would probably be considered more mild. I know, it doesn't make sense right?!
Maybe it's because I learned so much from this. Yes, I learned things that I can share at dinners with friends and family in totally inappropriate moments just to see them freak out and that are completely useless to my daily life but boy did I LOVE learning those.
The narration bounces here and there and not being too linear it can create confusion but I personally did not mind it. I found this book honest, interesting, entertaining, raw and inspiring.
I loved the journey the author went through and I was rooting for her by the end as I'd root for any fictional character.
I definitely want to go to the pathology museum now. Like it's happening. Not sure when but I am coming Carla, you just wait and see.
Death freaks me out. It still does but I surprisingly found this less disturbing than other reads on the subject that would probably be considered more mild. I know, it doesn't make sense right?!
Maybe it's because I learned so much from this. Yes, I learned things that I can share at dinners with friends and family in totally inappropriate moments just to see them freak out and that are completely useless to my daily life but boy did I LOVE learning those.
The narration bounces here and there and not being too linear it can create confusion but I personally did not mind it. I found this book honest, interesting, entertaining, raw and inspiring.
I loved the journey the author went through and I was rooting for her by the end as I'd root for any fictional character.
I definitely want to go to the pathology museum now. Like it's happening. Not sure when but I am coming Carla, you just wait and see.
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