The Two-Step

by Eileen McCann, Virginia Satir (Foreword), Douglas Shannon (Illustrator)

Ever since Adam wooed Eve (or was it the other way around?), couples have been bedeviled by the thorny path of love. Why do all couples have such a difficult time becoming-and remaining-close? Now, for everyone who has ever struggled with the pain of an unhappy relationship, psychotherapist Eileen McCann answers this age-old question in a book destined to become every lover's favorite bedside companion. McCann argues that the thorny path of love is nothing less than a highly choreographed dance that steps around issues of power, distance, and intimacy. With the help of Douglas Shannon's delightful and insightful drawings, McCann charts our unwitting steps in the dance of pursuit and avoidance and shows us how to transform it into one that returns joy and meaning to our lives. The Two-Step is a wise and witty guide to affairs of the heart that delights the eye as it instructs the mind. "I find this book to be a pictorial treasure of how we act, showing the games we play, while trying to hide what we want. Out of these pictures comes a clear realization of what we are doing. With that realization, we can laugh at ourselves and be inspired to make the changes we need to make." - Virginia M. Satir

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Sexuality, Family, Psychology

160 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1985

Reviews

[Jaina Bee · Rating 4 out of 5]

After getting over the superficial cutesiness, i really gained deep, helpful insight from these insights into relationship dynamics. I received it as a supporter gift from a sex educator, Dr. Lindsay Doe of Sexplanations, who names it as one of her favorite books on this subject.

[Matt Kelland · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is deceptively simple. It initially appears utterly simplistic, especially since it's presented in cartoon form, but that's because the lesson it's trying to teach really isn't complicated. That doesn't mean it's not worth reading.

I read it three times. First time, I just thought, yeah, so what? Then I thought about it, and read it again, casting myself in one of the two roles, and it made a lot of sense. And then I wondered, what would my partner think if she read it? So I read it a third time, trying to see the situation from her point of view. And then it really fell into place.

Sometimes, you just need to remember that things don't have to be complicated. You just need to see them from a different point of view, and then you realize that they're not complicated at all.

[Boone Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently heard some good advice from an 80 yearold marathon runner on the radio: "laugh at yourself." I needed a good laugh in this department and this book delivered. Frank perspectives and a review of fundamentals for being you and growing in love-relationships within. The text and cartoon art played well together -- a rare gem of love-encouraging work in the often bitter and defeated (out-to-lunch even) comics world. Read it and share it with loved ones; may add years to love lives.

[Rubí · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend of mine suggested I read this with my husband over wine tonight- so I did 😉 This book illustrates the unintentional games we play in relationships. The games that lead to power struggles and relational distance in lieu of emotional vulnerability and intimacy. The illustrations were simple, but incredibly deep. Most people would be able to finish this read in under half an hour. Highly, highly recommend it.

[Zoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Published in 1985 this illustrated book on intimacy really holds up. It's a breeze to get through, and honestly, I'd recommend this to everyone. Intimacy is a part of every relationship whether or not sex is involved, and this is a clear and concise illustration of how simple and complicated it is.

[Lisa Gryffyths · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant! McCann re-frames the game of love as a dance to be practiced rather then won; Shannon illustration's speak directly to us on both a heart and gut level. I'm 100% inspired by this expressive therapy treasure!

[Phil Mayes · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Two Step is an exploration in cartoon style of how relationships can polarize into the seeker and the sought. Relationships encompass not just personal, but family, friends and work. The drawings are so in the style of Jules Feiffer that I searched hard to see if the illustrator, Douglas Shannon, was a pseudonym for Feiffer, but I found no signs that this was the case.
The book illustrates very charmingly one person in a relationship as the pursuer, while the other protects their space. This is shown repeatedly in so many ways and variations that I abandoned the book, but when I picked it up recently to complete this review, I was delighted to find that within a few pages, it offered a resolution, thus turning a one-note theme into a melody.
The foreword is by Virginia Satir, which is a strong endorsement of the dynamics portrayed within.

[Noelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was recommended by another psychotherapist to me as an easy guide to understanding intimacy for clients. There are more cartoon figures than words, and it appears the author may have some intimacy issues and inability to express themselves verbally.

I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant! McCann re-frames the game of love as a dance to be practiced rather then won; Shannon illustration's speak directly to us on both a heart and gut level. I'm 100% inspired by this expressive therapy treasure!

[License2massage · Rating 5 out of 5]

GREAT INSIGHT ON INTIMACY!

[Joshua · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad, not great