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Wolfpack
In this young readers adaptation of her #1 New York Times bestselling book, two-time Olympic gold medalist and FIFA World Cup champion Abby Wambach inspires the next generation to find their voice, unite their pack, and change the world.
From rising young star to co-captain of the 2015 Women's World Cup Champion team, Abby Wambach's impressive career has shown her what it truly means to be a champion. Whether you're leading from the bench or demanding the ball on the field, real success comes when you harness your inner strength, forge your own path, and band together with your team.
Updated with stories that trace her journey from youth soccer to the hall of fame, this young readers adaptation of Abby's instant bestseller Wolfpack is for the next generation of wolves ready to change the game.
From rising young star to co-captain of the 2015 Women's World Cup Champion team, Abby Wambach's impressive career has shown her what it truly means to be a champion. Whether you're leading from the bench or demanding the ball on the field, real success comes when you harness your inner strength, forge your own path, and band together with your team.
Updated with stories that trace her journey from youth soccer to the hall of fame, this young readers adaptation of Abby's instant bestseller Wolfpack is for the next generation of wolves ready to change the game.
112 pages, Hardcover
First published October 6, 2020
60 people are currently reading
2664 people want to read
About the author
Abby Wambach
14 books602 followersABBY WAMBACH is a two-time Olympic gold medalist, FIFA World Cup Champion, and the highest all-time international goal scorer for male and female soccer players. She is an activist for equality and inclusion and the New York Times bestselling author of Forward: A Memoir. Abby is co-founder of Wolfpack Endeavor, which is revolutionizing leadership development for women in the workplace and beyond through her champion mindset, individualized coaching, and team-bound focus. Abby lives in Florida with her wife and three children.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 148 reviews
October 27, 2020
Wolfpack is the BEST leadership book I have ever read and the only one that has ever made me cry. Inclusive, inspirational & uplifting in that when we see each other for the gifts we all truly are, together we can make a better world.
July 29, 2023
I really enjoyed this book. There were so many amazing messages throughout it. I loved where Abby talked about how she only gave 75% but now after something her teammate did she always gives 100. Each chapter had a great message and the “New rules” where wonderful!
May 27, 2022
Loved reading this with my 12-year-old daughter. Super inspiring. So glad Abby made a version of this geared toward middle schoolers.
November 8, 2020
I loved this book. I didn't realize I was picking up the Young Readers Edition when I started it, but I loved being spoken to like a young person with her whole life ahead of her! I read it because I heard Abby on Brene Brown's podcast (which I also recommend). It's a leadership guide from an intersectional, inclusive, feminist perspective and if you like it, I also recommend "Reinventing Organizations" which takes a more historical, organizational perspective on similar material. Basically, Abby's Women's Team, at one point, got a new coach and she redeveloped Team USA as a "Teal" organization, which is an evolution past traditional hierarchical style (common to sports) and incorporates the wisdom, knowledge and contribution of EVERYONE in an organization (not just the coaches). It's a difficult organizational transition to make, but it takes a team from just trying to win (they were already doing that) to focusing on HOW they win (with dignity, respect, etc). So whether you love sports or are interested in purpose driven leadership, this book is a great guide to winning at both.
June 6, 2024
Picked up this book to participate in the book club at my office and it only took me a train ride to get through. I went in with an open mind hoping to be inspired & motivated by someone who has an incredible presence in the world of female sports. But… TBH after reading this book, while I respect Abby Wambach, I don’t think we would’ve gotten along due to the fact that she frequently came off in a manner that makes her sound cocky.
Highlighting one of the quotes that really did it for me and had my eyes rolling into the back of my head.
“What I saw in Michelle that day changed how I saw myself forever. Before that game, I had always tried to turn down my talent and dim my light to avoid outshining others. I thought it was the humble thing to do. I was afraid that my talent would intimidate others and might drive a wedge between my teammates and me. So on the field, I operated at 75 percent… That game marked the moment I stopped pretending to be less powerful than I know I am” (p. 69).
I’m sorry but if you have to keep reminding readers how humble you are, chances are you’re probably not. And not to brush over the entire chapter where she goes on to recite her parting words to her teammates consisting of the phrase “the day I’m forgotten is the day we will succeed”. Because if they’re all living in the shadow of her greatness no one will ever be brave enough to surpass. Please.
Ok but onto the good: Abby Wambach was a fantastic leader and makes some good points about how we as women should be celebrating each other and lifting up one another and recognizing each of our individual victories as a collective win. She also emphasizes the importance of learning from your mistakes and pushing yourself to fix them, instead of letting them set you back and affect future decisions. One of the attributes that I admired most about Abby was her ability to know when to take a step back so that her team could succeed, even if it meant she wasn’t able to be on the front lines as she’s used to. It takes a lot to admit to yourself that there are others more equipped to be driving the team, but that doesn’t mean you need to stop being a leader.
My final thought: Abby Wambach was an extremely talented player and deserves to be recognized for her impressive accomplishments. Despite her attempt to write a book meant to be inspirational and motivate the younger generations, there were times where I think she just wanted a means to remind everyone how great of a soccer player she used to be. However, she did relay some nuggets of wisdom that I feel could be applicable in team settings beyond the sports realm in regard to being an effective leader.
Highlighting one of the quotes that really did it for me and had my eyes rolling into the back of my head.
“What I saw in Michelle that day changed how I saw myself forever. Before that game, I had always tried to turn down my talent and dim my light to avoid outshining others. I thought it was the humble thing to do. I was afraid that my talent would intimidate others and might drive a wedge between my teammates and me. So on the field, I operated at 75 percent… That game marked the moment I stopped pretending to be less powerful than I know I am” (p. 69).
I’m sorry but if you have to keep reminding readers how humble you are, chances are you’re probably not. And not to brush over the entire chapter where she goes on to recite her parting words to her teammates consisting of the phrase “the day I’m forgotten is the day we will succeed”. Because if they’re all living in the shadow of her greatness no one will ever be brave enough to surpass. Please.
Ok but onto the good: Abby Wambach was a fantastic leader and makes some good points about how we as women should be celebrating each other and lifting up one another and recognizing each of our individual victories as a collective win. She also emphasizes the importance of learning from your mistakes and pushing yourself to fix them, instead of letting them set you back and affect future decisions. One of the attributes that I admired most about Abby was her ability to know when to take a step back so that her team could succeed, even if it meant she wasn’t able to be on the front lines as she’s used to. It takes a lot to admit to yourself that there are others more equipped to be driving the team, but that doesn’t mean you need to stop being a leader.
My final thought: Abby Wambach was an extremely talented player and deserves to be recognized for her impressive accomplishments. Despite her attempt to write a book meant to be inspirational and motivate the younger generations, there were times where I think she just wanted a means to remind everyone how great of a soccer player she used to be. However, she did relay some nuggets of wisdom that I feel could be applicable in team settings beyond the sports realm in regard to being an effective leader.
October 20, 2020
Huge praise for Abby Wambach and Wolfpack! This book is powerful and impactful with sage wisdom and advice on every page. I immediately started sharing this book with others and purchased multiple copies!
October 22, 2020
I love this YA adaption. Wambach's message is inspirational and every young person needs a copy. I wish I would have had this advice as a young woman. What an important concept of changing the rules!
"You were never Little Red Riding Hood. You were always the Wolf."
"You were never Little Red Riding Hood. You were always the Wolf."
December 16, 2020
I love this author - young readers edition - awesome.
December 27, 2022
Great book for any human who wants to know how to be a leader and how to comeback from failures and how to propel success.
November 28, 2024
Easy to read. Empowering. Inspiring.
October 4, 2020
Previewed this before adding a hard copy to my 4th grader’s wish list. This was a great read and perfectly empowering without being preachy.
Audiobook thanks to educator’s account from Libro.fm
Audiobook thanks to educator’s account from Libro.fm
June 25, 2021
Great, quick and direct motivational read! I'm a big Abby Wambach/Glennon Doyle fan, and this shows that Wambach has found her next journey.
Read
May 4, 2022This is a book to pull ideas out of for use with students. I think it will appeal to many young people.
Read
June 14, 2023Make female solidarity your goal.
When it comes to gender equality, society still has a long way to go. Even in today’s supposedly woke world, many women are still playing by the old rules of the patriarchy. These rules tell girls not to venture off the beaten track. They tell women to be thankful for what they’re given and not to ask for more. Worst of all, they tell females that other women are the competition, and they must be in a constant battle for scarce feminine power.
Thankfully, Abby Wambach is here to give you some new rules. Drawing on nearly two decades of teamwork and sporting successes with other women, Wambach will show you that, far from being your adversaries, other women are your wolf pack. With them at your side, you can achieve bigger goals, overcome any obstacles in your way and unleash your true potential.
-
Trailblazing women are less like Little Red Riding Hood and more like the wolf.
Society likes to remind us that disobedient girls pay a high price for their waywardness. Just consider the tale of Little Red Riding Hood, the young girl who ignores clear instructions to continue along the path and avoid the woods. What happens to her? The Big Bad Wolf, that’s what. The moral of this fairytale is obvious – rules exist to be followed, and little girls shouldn’t get too curious.
And yet, as she reflects on her life and career, Abby Wambach can’t see a lot of truth in this old story. In fact, the best things in her life happened when she followed in Little Red Riding Hood’s footsteps and veered off the beaten track.
As a teenager, for example, Wambach dated boys. Why? Because it seemed to be what every other girl her age was doing. But something was missing from these early encounters, and during high school, she realized she was gay. Scared of her family’s judgment, Wambach initially hid this part of her identity, even from herself. Toward the end of high school, though, she fell in love and finally embraced her sexuality. This was her first taste of what it meant to step off the beaten path and go against the grain, following her heart rather than the status quo.
Wambach’s most cherished role models are women who have chosen their own way in life, too. Indeed, Wambach’s incredible sporting career couldn’t have happened without the trailblazing female soccer players that came before her, who refused to accept the status quo and the idea that soccer was a man’s sport. These were the women who went into battle to bring about Title IX, the federal law dictating that no one, whether male or female, should experience educational discrimination, including on the sports field. It was these women who created leagues for professional women’s soccer and fought for a living wage for professional female soccer players.
Given how much of her career and happiness has come about by her and other women’s refusal to do what society tells them to do, or stay on the designated path, Wambach now believes that all women should strive to be less like Little Red Riding Hood, and more like the wolf – powerful, courageous, and hungry for more.
-
Gratitude is good, but equality is better.
When Wambach retired from professional soccer in 2015, ESPN honored her incredible career with an Icon Award at their glamorous awards show, the ESPYS. Standing on the stage that night, Wambach was filled with gratitude toward the sporting world for allowing her to experience this moment. But as she lay in bed that night, her ears still ringing with applause, the gratitude melted away and was replaced with a darker emotion – anger.
Wambach’s rage stemmed from a moment earlier in the evening when she had shared the ESPYS stage with two more retiring athletes who also received Icon awards, Kobe Bryant and Peyton Manning.
As she, Bryant and Manning left the stage, it suddenly struck Wambach that, though all three of them were world-class athletes with equal amounts of grit, commitment and dedication to their sports, there was one inescapable difference between her and them. They were men, and she was a woman, which meant that while they could look forward to a leisurely retirement, she would have to think about her next career move. Bryant and Manning had financial freedom, something rarely afforded to female athletes.
Even a brief glance at the numbers highlights the frustrating inequity between male and female sports stars.
For instance, the male winners of the 2018 FIFA World Cup collectively took home a staggering $38 million, nineteen times more money than the Women’s World Cup winners were awarded in 2015. This inequality is even more shocking when you consider the fact that the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team brought in over $6 million in revenue, while their male counterparts made less than $2 million.
Of course, the gender pay gap isn’t just a problem in sports. It’s an issue for women everywhere. In 2018, American women in every age group and industry made just 81% of their male equivalents’ earnings.
What’s the cause of this continuing inequality? Wambach believes that part of the problem is gratitude, that fleeting emotion she experienced on the ESPYS stage that night. Specifically, women are often so overwhelmed with gratitude at just being included, recognized or given a paycheck at all that they’re fearful of asking for more.
To close the gender pay gap, women must learn to use their voices and demand equality.
-
Women need to embrace failure and use it to empower themselves.
As a promising young player on the Youth National team, Wambach was given an exciting peek into her idols’ lives during a tour of the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team locker room. As she tried to take in everything around her, one item stood out – a photograph. Someone had put up an image from the 1995 world cup match between the U.S. Women’s Team and their Norwegian counterparts. But something didn’t make sense. Wambach knew that this was a game that her heroes had lost. Why, she wondered, was a photo of their defeat taking pride of place in their locker room?
Five years on, when she joined the national team herself, Wambach finally plucked up the courage to ask about that photograph. The answer she received would change her outlook on failure forever.
Veterans on the team told her that although their biggest priority was to win games, that didn’t mean that they were scared of losing them. Far from rejecting the idea of failure, the team was determined to remember every single setback they had endured. Why? Because to these players, failure meant one thing – fuel. Fuel to get out there and prove to themselves that they could come back stronger than ever.
Did this strategy work? Well, Wambach’s teammates said the year after they put up that photograph, they won their first gold medal at the Olympics. This story taught Wambach to harness the potential of failure.
Unfortunately, many women are never able to do that. They believe they must do everything perfectly, an old expectation imposed by the patriarchy. This means that when women experience failure and realize they aren’t perfect, they lose their nerve. They start to believe they were imposters all along.
In contrast, men are more comfortable with their own imperfections and don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t succeed and lead despite them. Just consider the fact that imperfect men have been given permission to rule the world throughout history – from the Roman emperors to every single U.S. president.
So, when it comes to failure, take a page out of the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team’s book – or simply do as men have been doing for thousands of years.
-
Women need to celebrate each other, both on and off the playing field.
The most exhilarating moments of any soccer match come when a goal is scored. During her extraordinary career, Wambach has been responsible for many of these moments herself. In fact, in international games alone, she’s scored 184 goals! But if you get a chance to see her score, take a closer look at what she does in the seconds after the ball hits the back of the net. Look carefully, and you’ll see that as her ecstatic teammates run toward her, Wambach is always pointing at them.
What’s behind this trademark gesture? Recognition. She’s pointing at the other players in recognition that it was they who made her success possible.
That’s the thing about soccer. Even though you might be the one who scored the goal, you couldn’t have done it without the protection of your team’s defenders, the boundless energy of your midfielders or the players on the bench who spurred you on with their tireless cheering. When players celebrate a goal, they’re not really cheering themselves – they’re celebrating their teammates above all else.
Of course, in soccer and in life, there are times when it won’t be you who scores. It will be the woman beside you. In these moments, it’s crucial that you start running in her direction, celebrating her achievement.
On the field, this sort of behavior is commonplace. But in real life, women can find it harder to praise each other’s successes. Society gives women the message that they are competitors against each other, instead of champions for one another. Women have been told that female power is a scarce resource.
Wambach believes that this scarcity is nothing but an illusion. Female power, happiness and achievement aren’t zero-sum games or a cake in which a larger piece for one of us means a smaller piece for the rest. Instead, we should be thinking of female empowerment as an infinite fountain from which we all can drink.
Once we realize we have nothing to fear from each other’s success, we can all help each other to drink from this fountain. We can stop fighting each other for that one token chair at the table of patriarchy. Instead, we’ll work together to construct a bigger, better table, with a seat for every one of us.
-
Wambach turned on her full power when she witnessed her idol unleashing hers.
When Wambach was just eighteen years old, she had the chance to test her mettle against one of her heroes. The hero in question was Michelle Akers, one of the world’s greatest soccer players. As luck would have it, Akers needed to get some extra training in, and she agreed to play a match against Wambach’s youth team. By the end of the game, Wambach’s view of herself was permanently changed.
Despite the exciting circumstances, the game started in a relaxed fashion, with Akers giving her younger opponents plenty of coaching tips on how to improve their game. However, as the match headed into its final minutes, Akers realized that her own team was three goals down, and in serious danger of losing.
That’s when Akers took control. Without a second thought, she screamed at her teammate to give her the ball. Once she had it in her possession, Akers dribbled it confidently down the pitch, effortlessly bypassing Wambach’s whole team, and kicked the ball into the back of their net. Then she did exactly the same thing again. Three more times, until she had won the game.
Seeing Akers demand to be passed the ball that day, not just once, but four times, changed Wambach’s outlook forever.
Until that match, Wambach had been afraid to showcase her talents. Deep down, she worried that her teammates would resent her for outshining them. Thus, in an effort to be humble and avoid offending anyone, she had only been playing at around three-quarters of her capacity.
But then she witnessed Akers demanding the ball. Here was a woman who burned with power and competitive spirit. Here was a player who shamelessly shouted out her desire to win, and who clearly believed she was the woman who could make that win happen.
When Akers screamed at the goalie to give her the ball, she was announcing her confidence in her own ability and giving the game her full talent – not just some of it, as Wambach had been doing. Seeing Akers deploy every bit of her power that day freed Wambach to unleash hers, too. Even now, whenever she feels unworthy or incapable of doing something, she thinks back to that game, and Akers’s unabashed determination to win.
-
Great leaders are authentic, vulnerable and take suggestions from everyone.
Sometimes it’s easier to be aggressive than vulnerable. In 2008, the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team knew all about aggression. They were the world’s best team, and the secret of their success was physical dominance. Under Wambach’s co-captaincy, the team unashamedly won games by intimidating and strong-arming their opponents.
So imagine the team’s horror when their new coach, Pia Sundhage, produced a guitar during their first training session together, and gently sang a Bob Dylan song to them.
What was the rationale behind Pia’s singing session that day?
Well, she wanted to show Wambach and her teammates that leadership doesn’t always have to resemble power and dominance. By reaching for her guitar, Pia gave the players an example of an authentic, vulnerable leader who wasn’t afraid to reveal her true personality. Through this eccentric performance, Pia demonstrated that the best leaders don’t imitate society’s ideas of how a leader should behave – they simply strive to be themselves.
Interestingly, Pia’s unconventional leadership style led to positive and permanent changes in how the whole team interacted with each other. Before her arrival, the team was run like a dictatorship. Wambach and other senior figures issued instructions, while more junior players had little input into decision-making.
But under Pia’s tutelage, the team’s ideas about leadership all began to change. Wambach and the other captains permitted themselves to be more vulnerable and began listening to what others had to say. And the more junior players saw that if Pia could make herself vulnerable and still be a leader, maybe they could also find ways to lead.
Gradually, the team’s leadership structure became more democratic. Newbies like Alex Morgan gave Wambach tips on how to play better, players on the bench gave the starting players advice and even the team’s physiotherapists started to make suggestions.
Wambach believes that all teams, even beyond sports, can learn a lesson from this shift in how we define leadership. Specifically, we can learn that the best teamwork occurs when leaders aren’t afraid to discard old hierarchies and listen to their followers’ voices. If you’re a leader who’s humble and authentic enough to do this, you may just find that everyone in the team has a valuable contribution to make.
-
Every woman needs a wolf pack, so reach out to yours.
After seventeen incredible years of professional soccer, Wambach finally retired. And with retirement came rest. In fact, she gave her body a full three years to recover from decades of physical exertion. When that time was up, she got back into exercise by starting a running program. This should have been easy for a former professional sportswoman, right? Wrong. Every time she ran, Wambach’s whole body ached.
After years of doing far more exercise than this, Wambach wondered, why was she suffering so much now?
Eventually, her friend Michele hit on the problem. When Wambach pushed herself to the limit on the soccer pitch, she was part of a team of other women who were all doing the same. Physical pain and suffering were part of the job, but hardship was softened by plenty of jokes and words of encouragement shared by teammates. Now she was a lone wolf, without the support and camaraderie of her wolf pack.
It’s not just in sports that we need a wolf pack to share tough times with. In fact, women in all walks of life need sisterly support and encouragement. Wambach discussed this need for greater female solidarity in her commencement address to Barnard College, one of America’s most prestigious women’s universities. To her surprise, the speech went viral.
Ordinary women reached out to Wambach, saying they were reading her speech to their young daughters at bedtime and telling their girlfriends about it. Some were even hanging wolf pictures in their homes to symbolize the need for more female wolf packs. As one woman who wrote to Wambach poignantly put it, men have always had their clubs, while women tend to feel alone. Whether we’re the token woman in the boardroom, the single mother at the playground or the housewife home alone, we are often isolated.
So, how can we start building these wolf packs in our lives?
Wambach believes that all you can do when attempting something new is to get out there and try. When it comes to building your wolf pack, this means seeking out women you trust and respect. It’s this philosophy that enabled Wambach and her teammates to win the World Cup in 2015, and to take gold medals in the Olympic Games – not just once, but twice.
In fact, running with her pack of fierce and courageous women has rewarded Wambach with an extraordinary career and a lifetime of making her own choices, rather than following other people’s rules. Though you might not lead your wolf pack to sporting fame and glory, you can still gather women together, form unbreakable bonds and agree to go forward in a spirit of sisterhood, connection and joy.
-
Life in a patriarchal world convinces many women that they should color within the lines and never allow themselves to be powerful. But women like Abby Wambach and her teammates have learned to reject these limits by ditching the old rules of female animosity, womanly perfection and staying on the beaten track, and you can, too. Seek out brave, fierce females, and hold them close. Celebrate their wins, reach out for their love and support and show them the full force of your talent and power.
Actionable advice:
Captain your own ship.
Sometimes life leaves us on the sidelines. Instead of managing that big project at work, you’re stuck at home with the kids. Rather than being promoted, you’re still in the same job you’ve been doing for years. But just because you’re not front and center, this doesn’t mean you can’t be a leader. In fact, there’s ample opportunity for leadership in all of our lives – no matter our role. Whether you’re helping your elderly parent through their illness or cheering on your child as they play their first soccer game, it’s important to remember that leadership isn’t something that someone else gives to you. It’s actually the inherent right of women everywhere to determine their own future and to guide those whom they love.
When it comes to gender equality, society still has a long way to go. Even in today’s supposedly woke world, many women are still playing by the old rules of the patriarchy. These rules tell girls not to venture off the beaten track. They tell women to be thankful for what they’re given and not to ask for more. Worst of all, they tell females that other women are the competition, and they must be in a constant battle for scarce feminine power.
Thankfully, Abby Wambach is here to give you some new rules. Drawing on nearly two decades of teamwork and sporting successes with other women, Wambach will show you that, far from being your adversaries, other women are your wolf pack. With them at your side, you can achieve bigger goals, overcome any obstacles in your way and unleash your true potential.
-
Trailblazing women are less like Little Red Riding Hood and more like the wolf.
Society likes to remind us that disobedient girls pay a high price for their waywardness. Just consider the tale of Little Red Riding Hood, the young girl who ignores clear instructions to continue along the path and avoid the woods. What happens to her? The Big Bad Wolf, that’s what. The moral of this fairytale is obvious – rules exist to be followed, and little girls shouldn’t get too curious.
And yet, as she reflects on her life and career, Abby Wambach can’t see a lot of truth in this old story. In fact, the best things in her life happened when she followed in Little Red Riding Hood’s footsteps and veered off the beaten track.
As a teenager, for example, Wambach dated boys. Why? Because it seemed to be what every other girl her age was doing. But something was missing from these early encounters, and during high school, she realized she was gay. Scared of her family’s judgment, Wambach initially hid this part of her identity, even from herself. Toward the end of high school, though, she fell in love and finally embraced her sexuality. This was her first taste of what it meant to step off the beaten path and go against the grain, following her heart rather than the status quo.
Wambach’s most cherished role models are women who have chosen their own way in life, too. Indeed, Wambach’s incredible sporting career couldn’t have happened without the trailblazing female soccer players that came before her, who refused to accept the status quo and the idea that soccer was a man’s sport. These were the women who went into battle to bring about Title IX, the federal law dictating that no one, whether male or female, should experience educational discrimination, including on the sports field. It was these women who created leagues for professional women’s soccer and fought for a living wage for professional female soccer players.
Given how much of her career and happiness has come about by her and other women’s refusal to do what society tells them to do, or stay on the designated path, Wambach now believes that all women should strive to be less like Little Red Riding Hood, and more like the wolf – powerful, courageous, and hungry for more.
-
Gratitude is good, but equality is better.
When Wambach retired from professional soccer in 2015, ESPN honored her incredible career with an Icon Award at their glamorous awards show, the ESPYS. Standing on the stage that night, Wambach was filled with gratitude toward the sporting world for allowing her to experience this moment. But as she lay in bed that night, her ears still ringing with applause, the gratitude melted away and was replaced with a darker emotion – anger.
Wambach’s rage stemmed from a moment earlier in the evening when she had shared the ESPYS stage with two more retiring athletes who also received Icon awards, Kobe Bryant and Peyton Manning.
As she, Bryant and Manning left the stage, it suddenly struck Wambach that, though all three of them were world-class athletes with equal amounts of grit, commitment and dedication to their sports, there was one inescapable difference between her and them. They were men, and she was a woman, which meant that while they could look forward to a leisurely retirement, she would have to think about her next career move. Bryant and Manning had financial freedom, something rarely afforded to female athletes.
Even a brief glance at the numbers highlights the frustrating inequity between male and female sports stars.
For instance, the male winners of the 2018 FIFA World Cup collectively took home a staggering $38 million, nineteen times more money than the Women’s World Cup winners were awarded in 2015. This inequality is even more shocking when you consider the fact that the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team brought in over $6 million in revenue, while their male counterparts made less than $2 million.
Of course, the gender pay gap isn’t just a problem in sports. It’s an issue for women everywhere. In 2018, American women in every age group and industry made just 81% of their male equivalents’ earnings.
What’s the cause of this continuing inequality? Wambach believes that part of the problem is gratitude, that fleeting emotion she experienced on the ESPYS stage that night. Specifically, women are often so overwhelmed with gratitude at just being included, recognized or given a paycheck at all that they’re fearful of asking for more.
To close the gender pay gap, women must learn to use their voices and demand equality.
-
Women need to embrace failure and use it to empower themselves.
As a promising young player on the Youth National team, Wambach was given an exciting peek into her idols’ lives during a tour of the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team locker room. As she tried to take in everything around her, one item stood out – a photograph. Someone had put up an image from the 1995 world cup match between the U.S. Women’s Team and their Norwegian counterparts. But something didn’t make sense. Wambach knew that this was a game that her heroes had lost. Why, she wondered, was a photo of their defeat taking pride of place in their locker room?
Five years on, when she joined the national team herself, Wambach finally plucked up the courage to ask about that photograph. The answer she received would change her outlook on failure forever.
Veterans on the team told her that although their biggest priority was to win games, that didn’t mean that they were scared of losing them. Far from rejecting the idea of failure, the team was determined to remember every single setback they had endured. Why? Because to these players, failure meant one thing – fuel. Fuel to get out there and prove to themselves that they could come back stronger than ever.
Did this strategy work? Well, Wambach’s teammates said the year after they put up that photograph, they won their first gold medal at the Olympics. This story taught Wambach to harness the potential of failure.
Unfortunately, many women are never able to do that. They believe they must do everything perfectly, an old expectation imposed by the patriarchy. This means that when women experience failure and realize they aren’t perfect, they lose their nerve. They start to believe they were imposters all along.
In contrast, men are more comfortable with their own imperfections and don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t succeed and lead despite them. Just consider the fact that imperfect men have been given permission to rule the world throughout history – from the Roman emperors to every single U.S. president.
So, when it comes to failure, take a page out of the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team’s book – or simply do as men have been doing for thousands of years.
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Women need to celebrate each other, both on and off the playing field.
The most exhilarating moments of any soccer match come when a goal is scored. During her extraordinary career, Wambach has been responsible for many of these moments herself. In fact, in international games alone, she’s scored 184 goals! But if you get a chance to see her score, take a closer look at what she does in the seconds after the ball hits the back of the net. Look carefully, and you’ll see that as her ecstatic teammates run toward her, Wambach is always pointing at them.
What’s behind this trademark gesture? Recognition. She’s pointing at the other players in recognition that it was they who made her success possible.
That’s the thing about soccer. Even though you might be the one who scored the goal, you couldn’t have done it without the protection of your team’s defenders, the boundless energy of your midfielders or the players on the bench who spurred you on with their tireless cheering. When players celebrate a goal, they’re not really cheering themselves – they’re celebrating their teammates above all else.
Of course, in soccer and in life, there are times when it won’t be you who scores. It will be the woman beside you. In these moments, it’s crucial that you start running in her direction, celebrating her achievement.
On the field, this sort of behavior is commonplace. But in real life, women can find it harder to praise each other’s successes. Society gives women the message that they are competitors against each other, instead of champions for one another. Women have been told that female power is a scarce resource.
Wambach believes that this scarcity is nothing but an illusion. Female power, happiness and achievement aren’t zero-sum games or a cake in which a larger piece for one of us means a smaller piece for the rest. Instead, we should be thinking of female empowerment as an infinite fountain from which we all can drink.
Once we realize we have nothing to fear from each other’s success, we can all help each other to drink from this fountain. We can stop fighting each other for that one token chair at the table of patriarchy. Instead, we’ll work together to construct a bigger, better table, with a seat for every one of us.
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Wambach turned on her full power when she witnessed her idol unleashing hers.
When Wambach was just eighteen years old, she had the chance to test her mettle against one of her heroes. The hero in question was Michelle Akers, one of the world’s greatest soccer players. As luck would have it, Akers needed to get some extra training in, and she agreed to play a match against Wambach’s youth team. By the end of the game, Wambach’s view of herself was permanently changed.
Despite the exciting circumstances, the game started in a relaxed fashion, with Akers giving her younger opponents plenty of coaching tips on how to improve their game. However, as the match headed into its final minutes, Akers realized that her own team was three goals down, and in serious danger of losing.
That’s when Akers took control. Without a second thought, she screamed at her teammate to give her the ball. Once she had it in her possession, Akers dribbled it confidently down the pitch, effortlessly bypassing Wambach’s whole team, and kicked the ball into the back of their net. Then she did exactly the same thing again. Three more times, until she had won the game.
Seeing Akers demand to be passed the ball that day, not just once, but four times, changed Wambach’s outlook forever.
Until that match, Wambach had been afraid to showcase her talents. Deep down, she worried that her teammates would resent her for outshining them. Thus, in an effort to be humble and avoid offending anyone, she had only been playing at around three-quarters of her capacity.
But then she witnessed Akers demanding the ball. Here was a woman who burned with power and competitive spirit. Here was a player who shamelessly shouted out her desire to win, and who clearly believed she was the woman who could make that win happen.
When Akers screamed at the goalie to give her the ball, she was announcing her confidence in her own ability and giving the game her full talent – not just some of it, as Wambach had been doing. Seeing Akers deploy every bit of her power that day freed Wambach to unleash hers, too. Even now, whenever she feels unworthy or incapable of doing something, she thinks back to that game, and Akers’s unabashed determination to win.
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Great leaders are authentic, vulnerable and take suggestions from everyone.
Sometimes it’s easier to be aggressive than vulnerable. In 2008, the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team knew all about aggression. They were the world’s best team, and the secret of their success was physical dominance. Under Wambach’s co-captaincy, the team unashamedly won games by intimidating and strong-arming their opponents.
So imagine the team’s horror when their new coach, Pia Sundhage, produced a guitar during their first training session together, and gently sang a Bob Dylan song to them.
What was the rationale behind Pia’s singing session that day?
Well, she wanted to show Wambach and her teammates that leadership doesn’t always have to resemble power and dominance. By reaching for her guitar, Pia gave the players an example of an authentic, vulnerable leader who wasn’t afraid to reveal her true personality. Through this eccentric performance, Pia demonstrated that the best leaders don’t imitate society’s ideas of how a leader should behave – they simply strive to be themselves.
Interestingly, Pia’s unconventional leadership style led to positive and permanent changes in how the whole team interacted with each other. Before her arrival, the team was run like a dictatorship. Wambach and other senior figures issued instructions, while more junior players had little input into decision-making.
But under Pia’s tutelage, the team’s ideas about leadership all began to change. Wambach and the other captains permitted themselves to be more vulnerable and began listening to what others had to say. And the more junior players saw that if Pia could make herself vulnerable and still be a leader, maybe they could also find ways to lead.
Gradually, the team’s leadership structure became more democratic. Newbies like Alex Morgan gave Wambach tips on how to play better, players on the bench gave the starting players advice and even the team’s physiotherapists started to make suggestions.
Wambach believes that all teams, even beyond sports, can learn a lesson from this shift in how we define leadership. Specifically, we can learn that the best teamwork occurs when leaders aren’t afraid to discard old hierarchies and listen to their followers’ voices. If you’re a leader who’s humble and authentic enough to do this, you may just find that everyone in the team has a valuable contribution to make.
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Every woman needs a wolf pack, so reach out to yours.
After seventeen incredible years of professional soccer, Wambach finally retired. And with retirement came rest. In fact, she gave her body a full three years to recover from decades of physical exertion. When that time was up, she got back into exercise by starting a running program. This should have been easy for a former professional sportswoman, right? Wrong. Every time she ran, Wambach’s whole body ached.
After years of doing far more exercise than this, Wambach wondered, why was she suffering so much now?
Eventually, her friend Michele hit on the problem. When Wambach pushed herself to the limit on the soccer pitch, she was part of a team of other women who were all doing the same. Physical pain and suffering were part of the job, but hardship was softened by plenty of jokes and words of encouragement shared by teammates. Now she was a lone wolf, without the support and camaraderie of her wolf pack.
It’s not just in sports that we need a wolf pack to share tough times with. In fact, women in all walks of life need sisterly support and encouragement. Wambach discussed this need for greater female solidarity in her commencement address to Barnard College, one of America’s most prestigious women’s universities. To her surprise, the speech went viral.
Ordinary women reached out to Wambach, saying they were reading her speech to their young daughters at bedtime and telling their girlfriends about it. Some were even hanging wolf pictures in their homes to symbolize the need for more female wolf packs. As one woman who wrote to Wambach poignantly put it, men have always had their clubs, while women tend to feel alone. Whether we’re the token woman in the boardroom, the single mother at the playground or the housewife home alone, we are often isolated.
So, how can we start building these wolf packs in our lives?
Wambach believes that all you can do when attempting something new is to get out there and try. When it comes to building your wolf pack, this means seeking out women you trust and respect. It’s this philosophy that enabled Wambach and her teammates to win the World Cup in 2015, and to take gold medals in the Olympic Games – not just once, but twice.
In fact, running with her pack of fierce and courageous women has rewarded Wambach with an extraordinary career and a lifetime of making her own choices, rather than following other people’s rules. Though you might not lead your wolf pack to sporting fame and glory, you can still gather women together, form unbreakable bonds and agree to go forward in a spirit of sisterhood, connection and joy.
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Life in a patriarchal world convinces many women that they should color within the lines and never allow themselves to be powerful. But women like Abby Wambach and her teammates have learned to reject these limits by ditching the old rules of female animosity, womanly perfection and staying on the beaten track, and you can, too. Seek out brave, fierce females, and hold them close. Celebrate their wins, reach out for their love and support and show them the full force of your talent and power.
Actionable advice:
Captain your own ship.
Sometimes life leaves us on the sidelines. Instead of managing that big project at work, you’re stuck at home with the kids. Rather than being promoted, you’re still in the same job you’ve been doing for years. But just because you’re not front and center, this doesn’t mean you can’t be a leader. In fact, there’s ample opportunity for leadership in all of our lives – no matter our role. Whether you’re helping your elderly parent through their illness or cheering on your child as they play their first soccer game, it’s important to remember that leadership isn’t something that someone else gives to you. It’s actually the inherent right of women everywhere to determine their own future and to guide those whom they love.
March 15, 2021
Of course after Untamed, I needed to read Abby's book. Equally as inspiring and motivating I enjoyed how she organized the text into 8 core beliefs. I will be re-reading this with the family and talking through what she has laid before us. ALSO, I will be reading her Barnard speech shortly ♥️🙌
August 2, 2023
I thought it would be cheesy or hokey, and though it was, a little bit, Abby’s words and passion for others resonated. I’m reminded of my own ability to help and encourage others, especially those I don’t see every day.
January 23, 2023
Read this in about 40 min between appointments at the public library. It was much of the same leadership principals that you read most places but there were a few points that I enjoyed. The rules of "leading from the bench" and "being FOR each other" are great reminders that anyone can be a leader, regardless of your position, and that we need to celebrate each other's wins instead of being pitted against one another. ESPECIALLY as women. The whole wolfpack analogy is corny otherwise I may have given it a 4.
October 27, 2022
What a great take on leadership and teamwork. I really enjoyed Abby’s positivity and humility.
April 1, 2025
I am not sure what I was expecting but I have my husband to thank for pointing this book out to me at a book sale (which we love going to!).
In reference to her new coach at the time (Pia), she shared "By showing us who she was and what she loved, she taught us that real leaders know who they are and bring every bit of themselves to whomever they lead. Real leaders don't mimic how other leaders look, sound, and act. They understand that there are as many authentic ways to lead as there are people."
Ultimately leaders have to share their passions in order to create vulnerability and allow others to become leaders of change, too. This is not done out of fear, it is done out of trust for the greater good of everyone.
One of my favorite lines shortly after that is "But it was vulnerability that convinced me to stay in the game. I wanted to honor the faith that he (her brother) and my other brothers and sisters had in me." Her brother commented on how talented she was and it made a difference in what she decided to pursue for that summer. She explains that had her brother not been vulnerable, as hard as it likely was for him, her world would have been a little different. But he chose to support her, which uplifted her.
And finally I love towards the end where she writes "Claim your power, and bring along your full self. Clear the way for others to do the same. Because what our families, our communities, and the world needs is nothing more - and nothingness - than exactly who we are."
I just love the overarching messaging that by uplifting others we uplift ourselves. Add to the greater good and movement forward.
Ugh, loved this! <3
In reference to her new coach at the time (Pia), she shared "By showing us who she was and what she loved, she taught us that real leaders know who they are and bring every bit of themselves to whomever they lead. Real leaders don't mimic how other leaders look, sound, and act. They understand that there are as many authentic ways to lead as there are people."
Ultimately leaders have to share their passions in order to create vulnerability and allow others to become leaders of change, too. This is not done out of fear, it is done out of trust for the greater good of everyone.
One of my favorite lines shortly after that is "But it was vulnerability that convinced me to stay in the game. I wanted to honor the faith that he (her brother) and my other brothers and sisters had in me." Her brother commented on how talented she was and it made a difference in what she decided to pursue for that summer. She explains that had her brother not been vulnerable, as hard as it likely was for him, her world would have been a little different. But he chose to support her, which uplifted her.
And finally I love towards the end where she writes "Claim your power, and bring along your full self. Clear the way for others to do the same. Because what our families, our communities, and the world needs is nothing more - and nothingness - than exactly who we are."
I just love the overarching messaging that by uplifting others we uplift ourselves. Add to the greater good and movement forward.
Ugh, loved this! <3
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 5, 2020
I listened to this book courtesy of Libro.fm. I really appreciated hearing it read by Abby herself. This powerful affirmation for the next generation was inspiring and uplifting. Wambach’s message about finding your pack will resonate with tweens and young adults who are trying to find their place and purpose. She also allows for a vulnerability that gives insight for kids who look at people who are successful and think they have it all together and never question themselves. Abby’s frank admission that she wasn’t sure who she was after her retirement from soccer leads us to realize that we are not defined by our passions and abilities: we bring ourselves to our passions and grow well beyond. We’re all learning and growing together and Abby’s message of finding yourself and using your power to be a leader and change the world is the message we all need to hear, especially when it comes to the inclusive celebrations of the Pack. Success and happiness are not pie! As Abby says, there’s an infinite amount to share and everyone deserves it. I’m very excited to make this a book club selection soon.
August 27, 2021
My daughter is running girl’s XC this fall. The coaches are focusing this season on what they call “pointing and lifting.” You point to someone and lift them with positive and specific words. I picked Tommy up from a team brunch and mentioned my love of the motto to the mom who was hosting. She asked if I had read 𝘞𝘰𝘭𝘧𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘬 by Abby Wambach because the idea came from it. I knew the young reader version was in my school library so I brought it home. It took me about 15 minutes to read, and I would like to get a copy for every woman I know. Ultimately, Wambach (a retired professional soccer player, also married to Glennon Doyle) takes eight “old” rules and turns them into new ones: 2021 style rules and not the 1980s bullshit ones I grew up with. I almost feel like young people know these new rules, it’s those of us born earlier, women raised in the 1980s and earlier, who have to remember that things can and should be different.
*As a side note, I don’t usually enjoy these inspirational/maybe bordering on self-helpy type books. They almost always rub me the wrong way. Maybe it was the short length and easy accessibility of this one that made me love it.
*As a side note, I don’t usually enjoy these inspirational/maybe bordering on self-helpy type books. They almost always rub me the wrong way. Maybe it was the short length and easy accessibility of this one that made me love it.
February 9, 2023
A beautiful book for young readers. Succinct & symbolic with a clear message that we can all make a difference in this world.
Create your own path - love who you are.
Be grateful for what you have and demand what you deserve.
Lead now & lead from everywhere - lead from the bench, relentlessly, if you aren't a leader on the bench you aren't a leader anywhere, leadership is every kid showing up, speaking up and making the world better.
Failure means your finally in the game - yesterday's loss is tomorrow's fuel.
Be FOR each other - joy & success are not a pie that needs divided, they are infinite.
Believe in yourself - own your desire, believe you can make it happen, give 100% of yourself.
Lead with your full self - lead with your whole self & inspire a team of leaders.
You're not alone - you have your pack, our pain is lessened when shared.
Create your own path - love who you are.
Be grateful for what you have and demand what you deserve.
Lead now & lead from everywhere - lead from the bench, relentlessly, if you aren't a leader on the bench you aren't a leader anywhere, leadership is every kid showing up, speaking up and making the world better.
Failure means your finally in the game - yesterday's loss is tomorrow's fuel.
Be FOR each other - joy & success are not a pie that needs divided, they are infinite.
Believe in yourself - own your desire, believe you can make it happen, give 100% of yourself.
Lead with your full self - lead with your whole self & inspire a team of leaders.
You're not alone - you have your pack, our pain is lessened when shared.
October 13, 2023
Short, powerful, and motivating. I think she could totally write a memoir, highlighting stories in her life that demonstrate the "new rules" she outlined here and people would definitely read it. But this is a quick way to get her point across and sums up a lot of books I've been reading lately about women's rage- our right to be angry, our right to demand what we deserve, and our right to get off the path dictated by culture confines and outdated misogynistic beliefs. She also focuses heavily on the "wolf pack" not just the wolf- finding your people, building up teammates, and celebrating the victory of one as a victory for all. This is not just a message for young women- we all need to hear this.
December 22, 2020
I've read the original, and now the young version. Obviously they are similar! This one concentrates more on the message and cuts out a lot of the examples and thinking to push right for the encouraging notes -- be willing to try! Learn from mistakes! Support your team! Expect greatness from yourself!
I like the messages. I find a lot of the metaphors a bit muddled -- in the story of Little Red Riding Hood, Wambach wants us to embrace the wolf, not the little girl who must learn to stay on the path and fear strangers. OK, that's a bad message, but I'm not sure "attempt to eat old and young people" is really where we should go. But wolves are cool, and wolfpacks are awesome, so go team!
I like the messages. I find a lot of the metaphors a bit muddled -- in the story of Little Red Riding Hood, Wambach wants us to embrace the wolf, not the little girl who must learn to stay on the path and fear strangers. OK, that's a bad message, but I'm not sure "attempt to eat old and young people" is really where we should go. But wolves are cool, and wolfpacks are awesome, so go team!
January 13, 2021
I didn't read the original book upon which this young readers' edition is based, but if it's anything like this, I want to read it. I love the positivity in this book, the messages, the encouragement, and the format. I love how Wambach uses an "old rule" vs. "new rule" for her chapters along with a "call to the wolfpack" at the end of each chapter. She is serious about helping young people find their voice, their courage, their passion, and their call so they can change the world.
This little book of 98 pages is packed with 8 simple rules along with stories from Wambach's life to illustrate these rules.
I love this book. Buy it for your daughters; buy it for yourself!
This little book of 98 pages is packed with 8 simple rules along with stories from Wambach's life to illustrate these rules.
I love this book. Buy it for your daughters; buy it for yourself!
July 8, 2021
Bought this to share with the girl's soccer team I coach. Did it as a team book study, great themes from ask for the ball to being yourself that apply both on and off the field. I was glad they made a kid-friendly edition without the swearing because while as an adult I enjoyed the snarky and emphatic twists of the original, I also really wanted to share it with my players and it wouldn't have been age appropriate so this edition is perfect in a different way. Bonus awesome thank you points for the signed poster that came with it which now hangs in the locker room during season and our team area the rest of the year.
November 14, 2023
As a college soccer player whose final season came to an end three short days ago. This book was lent to me by my roommate and fellow teammate.
After dedicating more than 3/4 of my life to this sport it’s hard to walk away with a knowledge that I will no longer be able to love soccer the same way I had just weeks ago. It is still a love, and the bonds that I’ve made with my teammates will last me forever.
I may not be a champion or even a star like Wambach, but her calls to the Wolfpack really resonated with me. And as I move forward, I will take her new rules to heart and do my best to be more than a Little Red Riding Hood walking along the path.
After dedicating more than 3/4 of my life to this sport it’s hard to walk away with a knowledge that I will no longer be able to love soccer the same way I had just weeks ago. It is still a love, and the bonds that I’ve made with my teammates will last me forever.
I may not be a champion or even a star like Wambach, but her calls to the Wolfpack really resonated with me. And as I move forward, I will take her new rules to heart and do my best to be more than a Little Red Riding Hood walking along the path.
October 19, 2020
This was an excellent young reader’s edition! I also appreciated her explanation at the end of the book of why she needed to not only rewrite in a way that is accessible to young readers but also updating language. She says that as she has gotten older, she has learned and grown and so does her language because words matter. She said people say you have to be PC all the time and you can’t just say what you want and her response is to that is, you are not willing to do the work to do and be better. Snaps to all of that!
March 26, 2021
...A powerful book for all humans but especially young women. I truly loved the breakdown into right rules, with new and old versions. Example: “Old Rule: be grateful for what you have; new rule: be grateful for what you have AND demand what you deserve.” HELL YES. Girls need to hear this when they’re young! Every one of her ideas and rules follows a similar path encouraging them to be strong, authentic, and supportive of each other. I highly recommend this book for young readers and her original edition for adult readers. Truly a lovely read.
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