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The Book About Getting Older
Now more than ever, we need to talk about getting older.
Many of us are living to a very great age. But how do we give those we love, and eventually ourselves, long lives that are as happy and healthy as possible?
Dr Lucy's book gives us answers to the questions we can voice - and those that we can't.
A long life should be embraced and celebrated, but it's not all easy. Yet even the most challenging situation can be helped by the right conversation.
How do we start?
· How do we ask whether it's worth taking seven different medicines?
· Is it normal to find you're falling out of love with someone, as they disappear into dementia?
· Should Dad be driving, and if not, who can stop him?
· What are the secrets of the best care homes?
· When does fierce independence become bad behaviour?
· How do you navigate near-impossible discussions around resuscitation and intensity of treatments?
· And who decides what happens when we become ill?
Serious, funny, kind and knowledgeable, this readable book helps guide us through essential conversations about getting older that go straight to the heart of what matters most.
Many of us are living to a very great age. But how do we give those we love, and eventually ourselves, long lives that are as happy and healthy as possible?
Dr Lucy's book gives us answers to the questions we can voice - and those that we can't.
A long life should be embraced and celebrated, but it's not all easy. Yet even the most challenging situation can be helped by the right conversation.
How do we start?
· How do we ask whether it's worth taking seven different medicines?
· Is it normal to find you're falling out of love with someone, as they disappear into dementia?
· Should Dad be driving, and if not, who can stop him?
· What are the secrets of the best care homes?
· When does fierce independence become bad behaviour?
· How do you navigate near-impossible discussions around resuscitation and intensity of treatments?
· And who decides what happens when we become ill?
Serious, funny, kind and knowledgeable, this readable book helps guide us through essential conversations about getting older that go straight to the heart of what matters most.
388 pages, Hardcover
Published January 7, 2021
84 people are currently reading
632 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
May 2, 2025
4.5 Stars 🌟
I rlly appreciated how Dr. Pollock makes this book practical, full of personal stories, and surprisingly reassuring. I walked away with way more understanding (and way less fear) about what my grandma’s going through.
I’d recommend this to anyone dealing with aging parents or grandparents,, It won’t fix everything, but it’ll make the whole thing feel a little less scary.
I rlly appreciated how Dr. Pollock makes this book practical, full of personal stories, and surprisingly reassuring. I walked away with way more understanding (and way less fear) about what my grandma’s going through.
I’d recommend this to anyone dealing with aging parents or grandparents,, It won’t fix everything, but it’ll make the whole thing feel a little less scary.
December 21, 2020
As a paramedic, I see elderly patients regularly and often deal with death. When called to an elderly patient in cardiac arrest, it can be difficult to discuss with family what their wishes were - did they wish to be resuscitated? Do they have a DNACPR form, advising us not to attempt resuscitation?
Although death & getting older can be difficult to talk about, we should be having these conversations so that we can respect the wishes of our loved ones. Having legal documentation in place can take away the need for families to make difficult decisions at an extremely upsetting time.
The Book About Getting Older discusses the treatment of older people both in hospital & in the community, what is the right thing to do for elderly people. It quickly recaps on DNACPRs, mental capacity and advance plans. It is an excellent resource for both medical professionals & those who look after elderly relatives.
Buy it & get the conversation going!
Although death & getting older can be difficult to talk about, we should be having these conversations so that we can respect the wishes of our loved ones. Having legal documentation in place can take away the need for families to make difficult decisions at an extremely upsetting time.
The Book About Getting Older discusses the treatment of older people both in hospital & in the community, what is the right thing to do for elderly people. It quickly recaps on DNACPRs, mental capacity and advance plans. It is an excellent resource for both medical professionals & those who look after elderly relatives.
Buy it & get the conversation going!
May 15, 2021
Beinahe jeder hat es schon miterlebt: eine ältere Person stürzt, wird im Krankenhaus behandelt und danach scheint es mit ihm/ihr körperlich und geistig nur bergab zu gehen. Eine jüngere Person würde nach einer Sturzverletzung eine Weile eine Schiene o. ä. tragen und danach wieder ihr "altes Selbst" sein. Ein älteres Unfallopfer jedoch kann laut Pollock völlig aus der Bahn geworfen werden und im schlimmsten Fall danach nicht mehr ohne Hilfe leben. Die rein rechnerisch steigende Lebenserwartung erkaufen wir uns leider mit zunehmender Gebrechlichkeit in unseren letzten Lebensjahren, so die Autorin.
Lucy Pollock arbeitet als Geriaterin interdisziplinär mit verschiedenen Experten zusammen. Sie lässt sich nach häuslichen Unfällen von Senioren genau beschreiben, wie sie sich vor ihrem Unfall gefühlt haben. Häufig kann sie so aufspüren, dass ihre Patienten weder über ihre Hausschuhe noch über den Teppich gestolpert sind, sondern die noch wenig erforschte „Multimedikation“ indirekt Auslöser ihres Sturzes war. Als Lehrkraft vermittelt Pollock ihren Studenten anschaulich, wie Patienten zunächst ein Medikament gegen eine Krankheit verordnet bekommen, unter Nebenwirkungen leiden, weitere Präparate einnehmen sollen und schließlich Wechselwirkungen die erhoffte Wirkung des ursprünglichen Medikaments zunichtemachen. Ein ähnlich komplizierter Problemcluster tritt auf, wenn Medikamente unerwünschten Einfluss auf Depressionen oder Demenz zeigen, wie man sich leicht ausmalen kann. Pollocks Tätigkeit besteht zu einem beachtlichen Teil aus Gesprächen über die Medikamentenliste. Ihr Ziel ist es, Patienten, Angehörige und Pflegepersonal einzubeziehen und Präparate abzusetzen, die in mittleren Jahren wichtig und wirksam sind, von einem bestimmten Alter an jedoch zu wenig bewirken, um Nebenwirkungen in Kauf zu nehmen. Welche Missverständnisse in diesen Gesprächen entstehen können, hat mich verblüfft, viele davon habe ich bei Angehörigen ähnlich erlebt. Alle im Buch angesprochenen Themen gipfeln in der Einsicht: „Wir reden nicht genug darüber, alt zu sein“.
Ein wichtiges Thema in Pollocks Buch sind u. a. Patientenverfügung und Pflegeplanung. Anmerkungen ergänzen in diesen Kapiteln Verhältnisse und Gesetzeslage in Deutschland, die sich von Pollocks britischem Umfeld unterscheiden.
Lucy Pollock scheint die Geriatrie als Fach buchstäblich auf den Leib geschneidert zu sein, das demonstriert jede ihrer zahlreichen Anekdoten aus der Praxis. Ihre Stärke sind, neben einer bewundernswert positiven Einstellung, die Fähigkeit zur Selbstkritik und ihr Talent, im Gespräch so wertschätzend wie direkt zum Kern des Problems zu gelangen.
Pollocks Buch richtet sich an Angehörige betagter Menschen, die sich rechtzeitig mit dem Thema Altern befassen wollen. Doch auch wer beruflich oder privat mit Hochbetagten zu tun hat, die keine direkten Angehörigen sind, kann aus Pollocks wertschätzender Arbeitsweise viel mitnehmen.
Lucy Pollock arbeitet als Geriaterin interdisziplinär mit verschiedenen Experten zusammen. Sie lässt sich nach häuslichen Unfällen von Senioren genau beschreiben, wie sie sich vor ihrem Unfall gefühlt haben. Häufig kann sie so aufspüren, dass ihre Patienten weder über ihre Hausschuhe noch über den Teppich gestolpert sind, sondern die noch wenig erforschte „Multimedikation“ indirekt Auslöser ihres Sturzes war. Als Lehrkraft vermittelt Pollock ihren Studenten anschaulich, wie Patienten zunächst ein Medikament gegen eine Krankheit verordnet bekommen, unter Nebenwirkungen leiden, weitere Präparate einnehmen sollen und schließlich Wechselwirkungen die erhoffte Wirkung des ursprünglichen Medikaments zunichtemachen. Ein ähnlich komplizierter Problemcluster tritt auf, wenn Medikamente unerwünschten Einfluss auf Depressionen oder Demenz zeigen, wie man sich leicht ausmalen kann. Pollocks Tätigkeit besteht zu einem beachtlichen Teil aus Gesprächen über die Medikamentenliste. Ihr Ziel ist es, Patienten, Angehörige und Pflegepersonal einzubeziehen und Präparate abzusetzen, die in mittleren Jahren wichtig und wirksam sind, von einem bestimmten Alter an jedoch zu wenig bewirken, um Nebenwirkungen in Kauf zu nehmen. Welche Missverständnisse in diesen Gesprächen entstehen können, hat mich verblüfft, viele davon habe ich bei Angehörigen ähnlich erlebt. Alle im Buch angesprochenen Themen gipfeln in der Einsicht: „Wir reden nicht genug darüber, alt zu sein“.
Ein wichtiges Thema in Pollocks Buch sind u. a. Patientenverfügung und Pflegeplanung. Anmerkungen ergänzen in diesen Kapiteln Verhältnisse und Gesetzeslage in Deutschland, die sich von Pollocks britischem Umfeld unterscheiden.
Lucy Pollock scheint die Geriatrie als Fach buchstäblich auf den Leib geschneidert zu sein, das demonstriert jede ihrer zahlreichen Anekdoten aus der Praxis. Ihre Stärke sind, neben einer bewundernswert positiven Einstellung, die Fähigkeit zur Selbstkritik und ihr Talent, im Gespräch so wertschätzend wie direkt zum Kern des Problems zu gelangen.
Pollocks Buch richtet sich an Angehörige betagter Menschen, die sich rechtzeitig mit dem Thema Altern befassen wollen. Doch auch wer beruflich oder privat mit Hochbetagten zu tun hat, die keine direkten Angehörigen sind, kann aus Pollocks wertschätzender Arbeitsweise viel mitnehmen.
January 24, 2021
This is beautifully written book. The subject matter, old age, is something that most of us don't want to think about... but despite the serious topic, this is not a heavy read by any means
Instead we get a powerful insight into the care provided by the NHS - and most particularly the attention to detail which goes into every individual.
It's also a guide to help us and our nearest and dearest through some of the steps and challenges to come, and most particularly to understand and engage with the many decisions along the road.
Most importantly, it's a reminder to take action now... I'll be writing my living will/advance decision this weekend.
Overall a fabulous engaging read - think Adam Kay's This is going to hurt but for grownups! The stories bring life to the various areas and challenges - this did not take me long to finish and I was gripped from start to finish.
I was left amazed at Lucy's skill, empathy, compassion, professionalism and the care which emanates from every page. A thought provoking and timely read...
Instead we get a powerful insight into the care provided by the NHS - and most particularly the attention to detail which goes into every individual.
It's also a guide to help us and our nearest and dearest through some of the steps and challenges to come, and most particularly to understand and engage with the many decisions along the road.
Most importantly, it's a reminder to take action now... I'll be writing my living will/advance decision this weekend.
Overall a fabulous engaging read - think Adam Kay's This is going to hurt but for grownups! The stories bring life to the various areas and challenges - this did not take me long to finish and I was gripped from start to finish.
I was left amazed at Lucy's skill, empathy, compassion, professionalism and the care which emanates from every page. A thought provoking and timely read...
November 3, 2023
Superbly useful, realistic and kind advice for the elderly and those of us who have elderly parents, a must read
January 8, 2021
I think this is one of the most important books that you should read if you are halfway through life. All my life adult life I have been in and out of hospital so know how hospitals operate but this really gives you a good insight as to what happens as you get older, I wish Dr Lucy Pollock was my doctor, she seems very caring and compassionate and I have met quite a few doctors in my time and only a handful if that have been as caring as Dr Lucy Pollock. I like the way the book is written, we hear true life stories about older people and explanations that are easy to understand. Each chapter brings a new subject falls, dementia, and questions you or a loved one maybe too afraid to ask. At the end of each chapter are websites to find more information from. The book gives us an explanation of what it means to get older. I found this an insightful and informative book that will help people or family dealing with the issues that are raised in this book.
May 11, 2020
An absolute delight to read! This book resonated powerfully with me not only as a medical professional but also someone with ageing parents and grandparents. Dr Pollock beautifully demonstrates the common trials and tribulations of ageing, whilst bringing a smile to your face with heart-warming stories plucked from her career. Drawing from years of experience this book offers practical and manageable tips, catering to everyone, to tackle what will ultimately happen to us all (getting old!).
February 13, 2021
An account of a jobbing geriatrician. Full of good stories both funny and poignant. All the big hitters - DNAR, polypharmacy, right to chose etc. Nothing on the science of getting old which disappointed me.
October 24, 2021
In this book, there is a lot of information that specifically relates to the UK, i.e. their health system processes and legal system (e.g. privacy and power of attorney) details. Despite the fact that these sections were not valid for my country (I’ll also add that the UK focus is not clear from the book blurb), I found this book helpful and, generally speaking, an excellent source of info.
When the times comes, I wish that my loved ones and indeed myself would have someone as compassionate and sensible like Dr Pollock to talk to about the challenges of old age and to discuss the delicate options relating to end-of-life care.
I would highly recommend this book to older readers, obviously, but also to the younger audience who are concerned about the care of their elderly loved ones.
Fav Quotes:
However we cut it, life in old age would appear to have become more difficult for many people. Dodging the conditions that kill us means we must live with those that make life hard.
So, the next thing we need after time is honesty. Doctors need to be honest about the limitations of our knowledge about what works and what doesn’t in people who are older, and especially in those who are frail and have several conditions and maybe do not have very long to live. Doctors need to be honest about the fact that reducing the risk of one condition may not lengthen life, but will simply exchange one cause of death for another. We must be honest about the fact that many medications probably aren’t making a great deal of difference. But patients and their families need to be honest too about what they feel about their medicines. We all need to be able to talk together about the purpose of medicines, and that means being honest that for many of my patients their hope may not be simply to lengthen an already long life, but rather to improve and preserve its quality.
I do not accept – I do not think most of us believe – that older people are simply some inconvenient ‘other’ to be locked away. When we pause for a moment we recognize that older people are people right now, and ourselves tomorrow.
When the times comes, I wish that my loved ones and indeed myself would have someone as compassionate and sensible like Dr Pollock to talk to about the challenges of old age and to discuss the delicate options relating to end-of-life care.
I would highly recommend this book to older readers, obviously, but also to the younger audience who are concerned about the care of their elderly loved ones.
Fav Quotes:
However we cut it, life in old age would appear to have become more difficult for many people. Dodging the conditions that kill us means we must live with those that make life hard.
So, the next thing we need after time is honesty. Doctors need to be honest about the limitations of our knowledge about what works and what doesn’t in people who are older, and especially in those who are frail and have several conditions and maybe do not have very long to live. Doctors need to be honest about the fact that reducing the risk of one condition may not lengthen life, but will simply exchange one cause of death for another. We must be honest about the fact that many medications probably aren’t making a great deal of difference. But patients and their families need to be honest too about what they feel about their medicines. We all need to be able to talk together about the purpose of medicines, and that means being honest that for many of my patients their hope may not be simply to lengthen an already long life, but rather to improve and preserve its quality.
I do not accept – I do not think most of us believe – that older people are simply some inconvenient ‘other’ to be locked away. When we pause for a moment we recognize that older people are people right now, and ourselves tomorrow.
December 8, 2023
This book touches the heart. It’s so important to have conversations about growing older. Even though it always takes me a while to get into non-fiction I was determined to finish this book.
Lucy humanises “older people” in a way that highlights how society generally turn a blind eye to them.
Lucy humanises “older people” in a way that highlights how society generally turn a blind eye to them.
May 22, 2023
Excellent book for anyone who knows someone old or who plans on getting old themselves.
August 24, 2023
An informative and interesting read on a subject that is meaningful for everyone but doesn't get addressed as much as it should
January 27, 2022
I'm always looking out for a good handbook on getting older. There are probably thousands of books on the first few years of life, but I have found it difficult to get a good practical guide to how your body ages. What I really want is the Dorling Kindersley book for getting older.
But in the meanwhile this is a good overview of several aspects of getting older, and about the conversations (some of them difficult) you might want to have. It covers things like falls, medication, driving, dementia, resuscitation, living wills, care homes. There are website addresses for useful documents and research papers.
The doctor, a geriatrician, illustrates all her advice by multiple anecdotes drawn from her own experience, with names and descriptions changed to protect her patients. I found this made the book very engaging to read, and also gave useful examples for situations you might come across in your own life. Even though she is seeing people when they're ill and in distress, it is only sometimes a sad book, and that is often prompted by people's bravery and kindness. Also it's not a foregone conclusion that the last years of life are riddled with disease; people remain in good health for much longer than you might believe.
If you're old or know someone who is, this book could be a practical help.
But in the meanwhile this is a good overview of several aspects of getting older, and about the conversations (some of them difficult) you might want to have. It covers things like falls, medication, driving, dementia, resuscitation, living wills, care homes. There are website addresses for useful documents and research papers.
The doctor, a geriatrician, illustrates all her advice by multiple anecdotes drawn from her own experience, with names and descriptions changed to protect her patients. I found this made the book very engaging to read, and also gave useful examples for situations you might come across in your own life. Even though she is seeing people when they're ill and in distress, it is only sometimes a sad book, and that is often prompted by people's bravery and kindness. Also it's not a foregone conclusion that the last years of life are riddled with disease; people remain in good health for much longer than you might believe.
If you're old or know someone who is, this book could be a practical help.
August 29, 2021
What a daunting, confrontational subject! Dr Lucy Pollock tackles ALL aspects of aging, particularly from a western perspective, with incredible insight, compassion, humour and above all, understanding. I began this book with some trepidation - after all aging can be a taboo subject - but the good doctor gently addresses every topic in such a matter of fact way that it was a joy to read. Terminal illnesses, palliative care, legal issues, dealing with dementia, etc., etc. are all covered succinctly and sensibly. The overriding theme for me was 'what matters most?' when considering aging family members or friends.
As my Dad is currently 95 and underwent high risk, life-saving surgery just over a month after I read this book, I felt I had a greater understanding of his wants and needs, and of how here in Australia we have brilliant medical experts who embody exactly what Dr Pollock discusses. This turned out to be a timely read for me - highly recommended regardless of your age!
As my Dad is currently 95 and underwent high risk, life-saving surgery just over a month after I read this book, I felt I had a greater understanding of his wants and needs, and of how here in Australia we have brilliant medical experts who embody exactly what Dr Pollock discusses. This turned out to be a timely read for me - highly recommended regardless of your age!
March 12, 2021
A very interesting and informative book.
It started out advising to exercise and eat well, but there was little other information about how to have a good old age, unfortunately.
The chapters on driving and dementia were particularly good but there were gems on every page too, though I couldn’t always remember who a character was, hopefully not because I have dementia!
It started out advising to exercise and eat well, but there was little other information about how to have a good old age, unfortunately.
The chapters on driving and dementia were particularly good but there were gems on every page too, though I couldn’t always remember who a character was, hopefully not because I have dementia!
January 29, 2023
review #1: Before I started this book, I shamefully admit that I doubted I would really find anything interesting, especially because I’m just a teen. However, just finishing the first chapter truly resonated with me. The other day, I was at the hospital with my grandfather to translate for him. He’s 83 this year and has been going from doctor to doctor for joint pains, either from arthritis or gout (we haven’t had a proper diagnosis yet), which does limit his everyday tasks as well as mine since I get pulled out of class early to go to the hospital with him. This has been very insightful on how to take care of the elderly from a medical standpoint.
review #2: It’s crazy to me that one of the main reasons that there isn’t as much known in research for elders over 80 years old is because some researchers deem them that age group too unpredictable. I hope that there are measures in the future that aid in increasing the accuracy of medicines, especially because longevity has been increasing over the years. Chapter 8 stuck out to me because I often overhear my mother reminding my grandfather about his medications; all 13 of them. Now I worry if any of his medications are actually counterproductive. I also like that the author included that it is not wise to blindly trust the doctor; it is also the patient’s responsibility to read the instructions and know the hazards (ask if you don’t know and inform the doctor of any side-effects you find unfavorable to find a better alternative!!!!). I also noticed that the people mentioned were often misdiagnosed with a UTI before a correct diagnosis was given. I wonder if this is more common with women than men.
review #3 : The small personal anecdotes that tie in with the advice really connects author to reader, rather than just straight up listing advice to follow. I’ve noticed that the elderly mentioned in the book almost always decide to pass away peacefully instead of continuing treatment. This notion of accepting death gracefully is clearly more widespread with the elderly than the younger generations. A lot of the concepts in the book not only apply to living with an older loved one, but also with terminally ill loved ones, which I also appreciate. I like that it is emphasized to always respect the patient’s choices, whether they state it themselves, or a guess of what they would have wanted. This book also gave me insight into what the process of a peaceful death looks like; in and out of consciousness, and then nothing. What really resonated with me at the end was how the majority of the elderly view their quality of life as great or good, which may be because they have learned to appreciate the smaller things in life as they have aged. Because of this book, I now know more about how to care for my grandparents, both medically and personally.
Also cried a lot while reading this, haha.
review #2: It’s crazy to me that one of the main reasons that there isn’t as much known in research for elders over 80 years old is because some researchers deem them that age group too unpredictable. I hope that there are measures in the future that aid in increasing the accuracy of medicines, especially because longevity has been increasing over the years. Chapter 8 stuck out to me because I often overhear my mother reminding my grandfather about his medications; all 13 of them. Now I worry if any of his medications are actually counterproductive. I also like that the author included that it is not wise to blindly trust the doctor; it is also the patient’s responsibility to read the instructions and know the hazards (ask if you don’t know and inform the doctor of any side-effects you find unfavorable to find a better alternative!!!!). I also noticed that the people mentioned were often misdiagnosed with a UTI before a correct diagnosis was given. I wonder if this is more common with women than men.
review #3 : The small personal anecdotes that tie in with the advice really connects author to reader, rather than just straight up listing advice to follow. I’ve noticed that the elderly mentioned in the book almost always decide to pass away peacefully instead of continuing treatment. This notion of accepting death gracefully is clearly more widespread with the elderly than the younger generations. A lot of the concepts in the book not only apply to living with an older loved one, but also with terminally ill loved ones, which I also appreciate. I like that it is emphasized to always respect the patient’s choices, whether they state it themselves, or a guess of what they would have wanted. This book also gave me insight into what the process of a peaceful death looks like; in and out of consciousness, and then nothing. What really resonated with me at the end was how the majority of the elderly view their quality of life as great or good, which may be because they have learned to appreciate the smaller things in life as they have aged. Because of this book, I now know more about how to care for my grandparents, both medically and personally.
Also cried a lot while reading this, haha.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 26, 2024
I wish this book had been around while my dad was still alive, I am sure he would have recognised large parts of the book. As I read it I certainly identified with parts and Dr Lucy Pollard reminds us that we are all apprentice older people. Not only is the book about getting older but also some of the questions we should ask.
The good doctor opens with a good question, at what age do you develop less chance of living another year? The answer is surprisingly 104. This reminds that we are all living longer and the average age of older women is 89 and for men it is 86. This has changed massively from what it was, and we are reminded that being very old is hard work.
As Pollock rightfully argues that we do not talk enough about what it is like to be very old and hopes this book will be a starting point. We are now at a point where we are all living longer on average and we seem not to be addressing this issue and what that world should look like. Rather than as it does crowded and forgotten. We need to have a look at the conversations between the elderly and those that they love even if social constructs dictate how we collectively treat older people.
Dr Pollock outlines how we can have a healthy long life, and this is by being active along with eating less meat but more fruit and vegetables. Something medics and nutritionists have been telling us for years. Pollock also argues that a correct diagnosis of any ills are just as important and there is no excuse for sloppy assessments just because someone is very old which should also go along with regular medication reviews and seeing if they are doing what they are being prescribed or holding the patient’s health back from improving.
This is a good book covering the many questions most of us avoid asking, while advising us how to ask them. This is a fascinating subject as we are all going to be old (hopefully) and there is plenty of sensible advice within its pages. I highly recommend the book.
The good doctor opens with a good question, at what age do you develop less chance of living another year? The answer is surprisingly 104. This reminds that we are all living longer and the average age of older women is 89 and for men it is 86. This has changed massively from what it was, and we are reminded that being very old is hard work.
As Pollock rightfully argues that we do not talk enough about what it is like to be very old and hopes this book will be a starting point. We are now at a point where we are all living longer on average and we seem not to be addressing this issue and what that world should look like. Rather than as it does crowded and forgotten. We need to have a look at the conversations between the elderly and those that they love even if social constructs dictate how we collectively treat older people.
Dr Pollock outlines how we can have a healthy long life, and this is by being active along with eating less meat but more fruit and vegetables. Something medics and nutritionists have been telling us for years. Pollock also argues that a correct diagnosis of any ills are just as important and there is no excuse for sloppy assessments just because someone is very old which should also go along with regular medication reviews and seeing if they are doing what they are being prescribed or holding the patient’s health back from improving.
This is a good book covering the many questions most of us avoid asking, while advising us how to ask them. This is a fascinating subject as we are all going to be old (hopefully) and there is plenty of sensible advice within its pages. I highly recommend the book.
October 7, 2021
This one took me longer than normal as I was studying, thinking and taking notes as I read through the book. I am trying to learn how to grow older and still be healthy, productive and somewhat active. This book was very helpful.
The Author is a Gerontologist working with a team of medical professionals in the U. K.s National Health Service. She has many years of experience and shares her experiences working with seniors and a variety of their stories.
As a stand-alone book it is superb. I would love to have her for my doctor. She is very caring and actually listens carefully to her patients and their families.
If you have an interest in this subject I recommend you read this book. Although it is U. K. based, many of the issues she discusses are applicable here in the U. S. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and Doctor Pollock's writing. She made things very understandable for a non medical reader.
The Author is a Gerontologist working with a team of medical professionals in the U. K.s National Health Service. She has many years of experience and shares her experiences working with seniors and a variety of their stories.
As a stand-alone book it is superb. I would love to have her for my doctor. She is very caring and actually listens carefully to her patients and their families.
If you have an interest in this subject I recommend you read this book. Although it is U. K. based, many of the issues she discusses are applicable here in the U. S. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and Doctor Pollock's writing. She made things very understandable for a non medical reader.
July 28, 2024
An excellent and very practical book about getting older, some things you need to know to live happily and healthily for as long as possible, and the critical importance of making sure that your wishes are known in the event that you are unable to communicate them to those who may need to make decisions on your behalf.
The author is a doctor with many years of experience of caring for elderly people, and she writes candidly and compassionately about many of the problems of old age and how to navigate them.
I just hope my friends and family and myself are treated by someone as caring and perceptive as Doctor Lucy when our time comes. This book is staying on our bookshelf, and I shall be making sure that we complete our legally-binding advance decisions about our end-of-life wishes imminently!
The author is a doctor with many years of experience of caring for elderly people, and she writes candidly and compassionately about many of the problems of old age and how to navigate them.
I just hope my friends and family and myself are treated by someone as caring and perceptive as Doctor Lucy when our time comes. This book is staying on our bookshelf, and I shall be making sure that we complete our legally-binding advance decisions about our end-of-life wishes imminently!
July 19, 2025
A lady can never be too ready for her old age, and as far as getting ready goes, this is a bloody good start.
Polock speaks plainly, sometimes hilariously, about the things we dread most about ageing — falling, forgetting, resenting the person in your bed. She strikes a lovely balance between medical jargon and real-world clarity, making you feel smarter without feeling scolded. It’s comforting in the way a brutally honest friend can be.
That said, it’s a lot. I’m not quite there yet myself, so some chapters felt like a peek too far ahead. But that’s part of the book’s charm — it’s one to keep on your shelf and revisit every few years, as the calendar insists on advancing.
Recommended for:
- Anyone planning to age
- Anyone surrounded by people who are
- Anyone not currently dead
Polock speaks plainly, sometimes hilariously, about the things we dread most about ageing — falling, forgetting, resenting the person in your bed. She strikes a lovely balance between medical jargon and real-world clarity, making you feel smarter without feeling scolded. It’s comforting in the way a brutally honest friend can be.
That said, it’s a lot. I’m not quite there yet myself, so some chapters felt like a peek too far ahead. But that’s part of the book’s charm — it’s one to keep on your shelf and revisit every few years, as the calendar insists on advancing.
Recommended for:
- Anyone planning to age
- Anyone surrounded by people who are
- Anyone not currently dead
December 26, 2024
It’s more a book about ‘healthcare’ when getting older from a medics’ perspective. The book is highly informative but at some point I felt like reading a comprehensive brochure with real-life examples on what to expect when getting older, your rights (driving, care plans, decisions),.. the book reads like a booklet provided by any med department when facing x or y condition including information about treatments, prognosis, etc and in this case it came from the geriatrics department.
Three stars for clarity, fluency, and comprehensivess. What was missing was a narrative on getting older itself.. for example how it feels, how it affects thoughts, personality, emotions, social life,..etc
Three stars for clarity, fluency, and comprehensivess. What was missing was a narrative on getting older itself.. for example how it feels, how it affects thoughts, personality, emotions, social life,..etc
June 19, 2021
Practical and compassionate, this book is a must-read for anybody who is getting older, or loves somebody who is getting older (ie everybody!) Dr Pollock addresses lots of things we don't really want to think (let alone talk!) about: care homes, incontinence, dementia, do-not-resusitate forms, and more. This book is often funny and always sensitive, clearly laying out what's essential and what's not, what a person's rights are, and how their families can be prepared. Read this sooner, rather than later.
November 6, 2024
I thought from the title of this book that it would be more about the different things that happen to people as they age. It was actually more about the very old or frail and the big decisions they or the people who support them have to make. Some interesting real life stories. Some odd admissions by the author which were not reassuring. Some things that felt as though they were written for medical colleagues rather than those people with little understanding of medicines and NHS systems. Not a book I’d feel the need to read again.
July 22, 2025
A fantastic book about getting older and particularly about the medical aspects. As a carer for my elderly mother (94) I now have a greater understanding of what’s happening to her both physically and mentally. It has helped me to understand what the future might bring and how to deal with it. It has also been very informative about my own journey ahead and how I can help my family by being clear about my wishes. Thank you for this very practical guide to a topic we all find difficult to talk about. I am already recommending it to others in a similar position to me.
March 11, 2020
Thank you to the author & Penguin Random House for providing me with an early copy of this book to read.
There are some really useful tips and points in this book and it's given me some great advice for dealing with age, particularly useful to consider in respect of planning ahead for my parents.
The author comes across as being very compassionate yet doesn't shield away from the practicalities of the aging and inevitable dying process.
There are some really useful tips and points in this book and it's given me some great advice for dealing with age, particularly useful to consider in respect of planning ahead for my parents.
The author comes across as being very compassionate yet doesn't shield away from the practicalities of the aging and inevitable dying process.
September 24, 2020
What a lovely book Dr Lucy.
Full of wisdom, whit, compassion and sage advice. All delivered with sensitivity and passion for her subject. Her love of her patients springs from the pages. Without being lectured at I feel I have been nudged into sorting out those LPA’s, cracking open the difficult conversations about treatments and making sure to look after the folks a little better.
A beautiful and much needed Dr Spock for the other end of life!
Full of wisdom, whit, compassion and sage advice. All delivered with sensitivity and passion for her subject. Her love of her patients springs from the pages. Without being lectured at I feel I have been nudged into sorting out those LPA’s, cracking open the difficult conversations about treatments and making sure to look after the folks a little better.
A beautiful and much needed Dr Spock for the other end of life!
January 3, 2021
This is a wonderful book which I wholeheartedly recommend to everyone: young, old and everyone inbetween. Dr Pollock's enormous experience and expertise are evident throughout the book but it is her empathy and compassion that shine through. It is a book full of very useful suggestions, websites and information and above all charming anecdotes, both sad and heartwarming, that enable everyone to identify with at least some of the situations. It is a book that should be read by everyone!
April 7, 2021
This is an important and sensitively written book I think. It helps us to face up to things we might prefer to avoid. All I need to do now is actually follow Pollock’s advice and sort some stuff out. I have started the conversations with my daughters. It’s not about being morbid, it’s about being practical and grown up.
It does highlight the fact that, in the end, we all depend on one another, so let us all be kind eh?
It does highlight the fact that, in the end, we all depend on one another, so let us all be kind eh?
May 4, 2024
Recommended by my cousin to help me look after my mother, but actually I found a lot of useful advice for myself. Key message: whatever your age, keep moving!
Particularly useful explanation of Do Not Resuscitate decision, Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment, Living Will, Advance Care Plan and Statement of wishes. They are all different and have different legal status. (I’ve been finding this very confusing).
Particularly useful explanation of Do Not Resuscitate decision, Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment, Living Will, Advance Care Plan and Statement of wishes. They are all different and have different legal status. (I’ve been finding this very confusing).
April 17, 2025
I loved it! I think this is the best book I've read in the last 10 years. This book touches on the difficult conversations that we should all have with our elderly parents, loved ones and maybe ourselves. How would we like to go and how would we like to be taken care of when we are frail, and reaching life's end?
By reading this book, topics like this don't feel so morbid nor depressed. It's just a part of life and a good topic to discuss. It made me muster the courage to ask my parents too.
By reading this book, topics like this don't feel so morbid nor depressed. It's just a part of life and a good topic to discuss. It made me muster the courage to ask my parents too.
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