I Know You Rider

by Leslie Stein

A candid and philosophical memoir tackling abortion and the complex decision to reproduce

I Know You Rider is Leslie Stein’s rumination on the many complex questions surrounding the decision to reproduce. Opening in an abortion clinic, the book accompanies Stein through a year of her life, steeped in emotions she was not quite expecting while also looking far beyond her own experiences. She visits with a childhood friend who’s just had twins and is trying to raise them as environmentally as possible, chats with another who’s had a vasectomy to spare his wife a lifetime of birth control, and spends Christmas with her own mother, who aches for a grandchild.

Through these melodically rendered conversations with loved ones and strangers, Stein weaves one continuing conversation with herself. She presents a sometimes sweet, sometimes funny, and always powerfully empathetic account, asking what makes a life meaningful and where we find joy, amid other questions—most of which have no solid answers, much like real life.

Instead of focusing on trauma, I Know You Rider is a story about unpredictability, change, and adaptability, adding a much-needed new perspective to a topic often avoided or discussed through a black-and-white lens. People are ever changing, contradicting themselves, and having to deal with unforeseen circumstances: Stein holds this human condition with grace and humor, as she embraces the cosmic choreography and keeps walking, open to what life blows her way.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Memoir, Comics, Nonfiction, Graphic Novels Comics, Womens, Biography Memoir

144 pages, Hardcover

First published May 5, 2020

About the author

Leslie Stein is an American cartoonist and rock musician living in Brooklyn, New York. Her diary comics have been featured on Vice and The New Yorker and collected as books by Fantagraphics and Drawn & Quarterly.

Reviews

[Rod Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

At first I thought this was going to be another series of real-life vignettes like the other book by Leslie Stein that I have read, Present, but slowly the elements pull together to recount an abortion the author had and how that caused her to focus and reflect on the concept of reproduction as well as her own path to happiness. It's an honest and thoughtful work that steadily drew me in.

My only reservations are with the art. I have trouble connecting with Stein's nearly faceless characters, their expressions practically emoticons -- rendered with a couple dots and short lines -- floating in a wide white space under what seem to be floating wigs. It doesn't help that the author prefers medium shots that always draw focus to the face, with most panels having just one or maybe two characters at a time. If you can get past this stylistic choice, it's a pretty good book.

[Maia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Published in 2020, this book narrates an experience that should be ordinary: getting an abortion, and deciding to talk about it publicly. The author highlights conversations from the year surrounding the abortion, picking out poignant or humorous moments. Stein's circle of friends includes fellow cartoonists, musicians, restaurant owners and many others, all trying to do the best they can in a complicated world. The drawings are loose, panelless, charmingly rendered in watercolor and the hand lettering gives the book a particularly personal, almost diary-like feel.

[Jesús · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Leslie Stein’s visual style, especially her penciled lettering work. And thankfully the publisher (D&Q) recognizes the importance of those details and reproduces her handwriting beautifully. Every page looks personally signed in her hand. Why focus on such a small technical detail? Because her work is idiosyncratic, and it is so clearly the product of a single person that those personal details make all the difference.

Because I was already a fan of her work, I read this knowing nothing about the structure or the subject matter. I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that the whole book was a single story. And it’s also incredible to see Stein continue to grow some “chops” as a cartoonist. This is heavy stuff in places, but because she has plugged away so long at writing short, gag-oriented strips, she can always take the edge off of an otherwise awful moment with a perfectly-timed gag. Sometimes it’s little more than a panel showing a subtle foot twitch. But Stein is so deft in adding that tiny little hook at the end of a rough section that it reads almost like the best film comedies.

This deserves to be the book that makes Leslie Stein into a household name.

[Erin Cataldi · Rating 2 out of 5]

This isn't a low score because this memoir is about abortion - it's just that it wasn't as deep or moving as I thought it might be. It just kinda slogged along with no clear direction. I love memoirs that are told via graphic novel so I picked up I Know You Rider and had high hopes. It was very slow paced and the illustrations sometimes made it confusing to tell who was who and I just didn't click with the story. It's brave to put your story out there like the author did - especially about such a polarizing topic - but it was just hard to engage or care about the story. Which I feel bad about because it's a memoir. I would love to try out more graphic novels by this author - this one just wasn't it for me.

[Danielle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciated Stein's openness about her abortion, but found it really hard to stick with the art. The facelessness kind of made it difficult to read and I wasn't a fan of the nonlinear storyline.

[Dakota Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leslie Stein's I Know You Rider offers a thoughtful portrait of her abortion experience. It's hardly harrowing. Nor is it relaxed and forgettable. It's nuanced, which feels like a key point. The narrative meanders in and out of the day of medical procedure, offering glimpses of the lead-up and a pair of check-ins months in the future.

Unlike Stein's previous book, Present, there's a pretty clear thrust to I Know You Rider. That throughline, along with the crisper artwork, made this a much more memorable read. As an abortion memoir, it's excellent, if not powerful. As a slice of life, it's quite enjoyable, with more than a little heft.

[gabrielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

developing a wee bit of an obsession with leslie stein i fear…

[Alix · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was alright a bit all over the place and needed a trigger warning for abortions some people really need it. Other then that it was alright

[King]

Wah! Love Leslie's work

[Anna Sellheim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I may be biased but Leslie’s ideas of the ethical implications of having children and the fact that she ends up having a good life at the end are something I can relate to. I feel really seen in this book in a way I haven’t for a very long time. I think if you choose to not to have kids even if people seem supportive, you can’t really express your reasoning with that decision without being judged. I think Leslie’s work just gets better and better.

[Corinne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Opening with a scene of the author at an abortion clinic, this is a quiet and thoughtful look into the decision behind choosing to terminate a pregnancy and grappling with the tensions of figuring out if reproduction has a place in your life at all.

The illustrations are a little hard to follow, just because the characters are designed with vary vague faces. Like they are mostly open empty voids - which often made them a bit hard to read.

[Lara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another one I picked up on a whim knowing absolutely nothing about it. I think if I had read the back cover before I started it might have helped; I spent about the first half of the book floundering around trying to figure out what on earth was happening. Partly that's because things seem to go a little bit back and forth in time, and partly I found the art style and writing kind of tricky to interpret sometimes.

That said, once I did understand what was going on, I liked the way Stein tells her story, and definitely appreciated the questions asked and the thoughts posed. Reproduction is such a complicated subject, and so much surrounding it is so politically charged, and so many people have opinions on what's right and what's wrong and what people should and shouldn't want and what is expected.

Some of Stein's thoughts really resonated with me. I definitely have not had a typical reproductive journey, and I'm still stunned sometimes by how nosy and judgmental and dismissive people can be when it comes to the issue of having kids or not having kids. I'm also stunned sometimes that my feelings about my own journey are still so complicated.

Anyway, I love that Stein has put her story out there, even though I had a hard time figuring out the telling of it.

[☆ Katie ☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leslie Stein has such a unique artistic style. I really love the color scheme and the way she is able to manipulate negative space. This book is charming, relatable, simplistic, and minimal. There were moments where I had trouble with the non-linear format, the lack of panels, and what dialogue belonged to what character. But the story she tells is inspiring and thoughtful, and she portrays the female experience in a very nuanced way.

I love that she broached the taboo topic of abortion, normalizing the experience but also depicting the traumatic nature of it.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

A memoir about her abortion. It was good, but it's very disjointed. I couldn't get into the art because the faces are just eyes, a mouth, and hair. There's not much to emotionally latch on. It's very slow and meditative.

[danes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rounded up 3.5. Wish it had more to it.

[Ariel ✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

An honest slice of life piece about Leslie Stein's experience having an abortion and being single + childfree while the people around her are all getting married and having children. I appreciated the discussions about desire vs values and prioritizing one's art (whatever that looks like).

[Matt Graupman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leslie Stein’s “Present” was a beautiful collection of her minimalist, almost abstract cartoons, gently musing on the quiet moments that combined to make up her contented, somewhat melancholic life. It was a tremendous book but her latest, “I Know You Rider,” outdoes it in every way. Stylistically, it’s not a huge departure from her previous work and yet it’s a leap forward in just about every other way. What makes that claim even more remarkable, however, is that “I Know You Rider” tackles perhaps the trickiest, most controversial subject matter of all: abortion.

Past the age when most women usually have started families, Leslie Stein found herself at an abortion clinic, terminating a pregnancy that resulted from a casual romantic encounter with someone that she hadn’t quite figured the dynamics of her relationship with yet. In her understated, poetic (and non-judgmental) way, Stein examines every aspect of her choice, from her socially-unusual decision not have kids to her own delicate relationship with her mother. It’s feels weird to say about a so-called “abortion comic” but “I Know You Rider” is almost celebratory in its appreciation of a small life lived simply and honestly, even if that means not bringing a baby into it. Stein flourishes in the longer format of an extended narrative, basically using her normal vignette-style approach to storytelling as separate chapters in her work; artistically, her unique aesthetic has gotten more refined, almost codified, yet it looks looser, more spontaneous, and more handmade than ever. It’s A+ autobio cartooning.

Due to its sensitive subject matter, “I Know You Rider” isn’t an easy read, particularly for some people, but it is easy to read, if that makes sense. Stein’s work has leveled up in a big way which is shocking because, after “Present,” I thought she was already pretty close to her apex. Boy, was I wrong. With only a few months in 2020 - this unpredictable and frankly horrific 2020 - “I Know You Rider” is making a late push for my Favorite Comic Of The Year.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A touching abortion memoir and rumination on the profoundly life changing decision about whether or not to reproduce. Stein's art takes a little getting used to with her near faceless characters. Sometimes I feel like I'm moving through the narrative looking everywhere but the face, but it also has the effect of strongly conveying an emotion or reaction using just a snip of a line. Ultimately, I really liked and appreciated the art. As a former philosophy major I also enjoyed Stein's brief forays into philosophy as she tries to make sense of her own understanding about her own life. A beautiful and thoughtful book.

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I definitely feel like these are stories that need to be told, and people should discuss abortion more - this felt a little thin. It is incredibly difficult to relate to these characters (or even tell them apart) because of the way the faces are drawn - there are no emotions that you can see, so I felt like I was left to extrapolate a LOT here. Ultimately, it just fell a little flat for me.

[Aurora · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s always hard to rate somebody’s memoir. ^_^; I thought it was fine? The jumping around in time and the incomplete faces did not add to the experience.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now more than ever.

[Ben Truong · Rating 4 out of 5]

I Know You Rider: A Memoir is an autobiographical graphic novel written and illustrated by Leslie Stein. This brilliantly painted memoir by Stein explores her experience of abortion with clarity and tenderness.

Leslie Stein is the creator of the Eye of the Majestic Creature series, as well as the diary comic Bright-Eyed at Midnight. Her diary comics appear regularly on Vice.

Beginning in the clinic prior to the procedure, Stein jumps back and forth in time to chronicle the liaison that resulted in the pregnancy, holidays with her mother who longs for grandchildren, and moments from her bartending gig.

I Know You Rider: A Memoir is written and constructed rather well. Stein's graceful watercolors and whimsical lettering are used to tremendous effect: the cerulean tears she spills after the procedure and the jarringly jaunty conversation that overrides her inner monologue are all the more powerful for their literal brightness.

Stein refuses to sand down the difficult edges and lets the choices she makes. She just keeps on tending bar and to the moods of her customers in the midst of private trauma, doesn't own a sofa, and finds solace in imagining the stages of the pregnancy she decided not to carry forward.

All in all, I Know You Rider: A Memoir is a wonderful memoir, filled with multifaceted portrait of a life in progress, which gives due nuance to a complicated topic as abortion.

[Dave Schaafsma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just read Brooklyn's Last Secret, Leslie Stein's mostly happy and funny band tour novel, her longest work yet and I thought revealed a leap in growth over her earlier short form memoir comic work such as Present. The band book is light, and follows this book, which is, again, memoir, a series of experiences and reflections "tackling the complex decision to reproduce." So, not light and funny, of course more serious, but still engaging, a glimpse into one likable woman's thought/feeling process.

The book is organized as a kind of diary, month-by-month, beginning in the clinic where she has an abortion, though in the title and throughout the book this word is rarely (ever?) used. It's partly about the process of recovery and--meeting friends with children, or childless--reflecting on what might be best for her. So, it's not straightforward, she is positive, but struggles. Framed in soft watercolors, with no panels and her characteristic weird faces, I think this will be helpful to many women, and men.

[Bonnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok, maybe I'd give this book five stars no matter what because it ended in one of my most favorite places in the world- the Alhambra in Grenada-- but it was really amazing besides that.

I started it and got a little frustrated with the story because it felt so predictable. Oh so sad, the thirty-something-year-old lady wants a baby. I then put it down for a week, but decided to try it again and I am so glad I did.

This comic is drawn in such an interesting way- I have so many questions for Leslie about her style choices. I also loved the lettering. It looks like she wrote every panel by hand, which I find awe-inspiring even if she didn't.

As a single, happily child-free, thirty-something-year-old woman, it's so nice to find a comic that is so easy to relate to. I am very curious to read more of her work.

[Damian Burford · Rating 3 out of 5]

I absolutely ADORE Leslie Stein's work. I even own some original art from her BROOKLYN'S LAST STAND book! While i liked the story of this a lot, I felt the storytelling didn't flow as well and i didn't care for the art as much as her newer works. It's the faces or lack of faces that did it for me. Maybe printing on a different colored paper might have helped. i feel like the six panel grid shoved a lot of story into those pages, when the story should have had more time to BREATHE.

I still enjoy the heck out of it, and this will live happily on my bookshelf. It made me think about my own decisions to not have kids in these current times. It's a great book from an author who's just getting better and better. This is her still working on getting to where she's going to be.

[Chels Patterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a time capture memoir, specifically about Leslie Stein’s experience with her abortion and the constant pressure to conform to the life goal of having children, this is a fascinating graphic novel.

The images are lovely and fluid. But devoid of enough detail that you can place almost anyone in her, and her friends shows. It covers about a 9 month period but is cut with her experience in the abortion clinic.

This book is a fascinating exploration of a woman’s lived experience and how universal it can be. Enjoyable fast read, that is perhaps looking for healing following an abortion or those that just aren’t interested in children.

[MilesTeller Shirtless · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly sympathetic and understanding take on the "Why aren't millennials having babies." If Stein's other auto-bios focus on the comfort and acceptance of loneliness, then Rider is about her stepping outside a comfort zone and questioning her viewpoints on these things. This book also has the most side characters she actually draws (I remember in Present and Midnight she rarely drew other characters?). Overall, Stein is so good at avoiding the pitfalls on auto-bio here - nothing here feels egotistical or overly mundane, partly thanks to her lush style.

Pristine, perfect and nothing else except what it needs to be.

[Kelly]

I find that Stein's graphic novels/memoirs don't necessarily impart a lot of lessons or have a very obvious arc (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) - this one felt like a beautiful exploration of her feelings and interactions around a period of her life where she got an abortion. I think it would be really lovely/comforting for anyone going through a similar experience or feelings regarding whether or not to have children, even if there are no answers. Loved her tribute to and observations in the Greenwood Cemetery in Brooklyn. Her style of drawing is really fun and creative, even though sometimes I can't figure out what the facial expressions are.

[Ben Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful, thoughtful graphic novel memoir about the artist’s abortion, the time leading up to it, and her conflicting emotions as she processes everything in the months afterward. I loved the slice of life feel of each scene as she meets up with various friends and family, mulls over the arguments for and against having kids, and stops by the local cemetery to bird watch. The writing and art style pair perfectly, and the hand-written look of the dialogue adds a lot of character. A quick but very moving read.

[Eli Poteet · Rating 3 out of 5]

i didnt mean to read a handful of graphic novel memoirs in a row but this is the 3rd one. i am endlessly surprised and touched emptionally by the vast ability of memoir authors to weave pieces of their lives together. i really enjoyed this artists style and letter work. i dont understand the cover art though and find its physical form to be a little bland. all memoirs are unique creations and i adore the idea of illustrated memoirs to go beyond unique.