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X-Treme Latin: All the Latin You Need to Know for Surviving the 21st Century
In staff meetings and singles bars, on freeways and fairways, there are aggravating people lurking everywhere these days. But bestselling humorist Henry Beard has the perfect comeback for all prickly situations, offering a slew of quips your nemesis won't soon forget . . . or even understand.Beard's gift is his ability to make fun of popular culture and the current zeitgeist. In X-Treme Latin he provides Latin with an attitude, an indispensable phrasebook that taps the secret power of Latin to deliver, in total safety, hundreds of impeccable put-downs, comebacks, and wisecracks. Within its pages you will learn how to insult or fire coworkers; blame corporate scandals on someone else; cheer at a World Wrestling Entertainment match; talk back to your computer, TV, or Game Boy; deal with your road rage; evade threatening situations; snowboard in style; talk like Tony Soprano; and much more.
With dozens more zingers for quashing e-mail pranks, psyching out your golf opponent, giving backhanded compliments, and evading awkward questions, X-Treme Latin is destined for magnus popularity and will have readers cheering, “Celebremus!”
With dozens more zingers for quashing e-mail pranks, psyching out your golf opponent, giving backhanded compliments, and evading awkward questions, X-Treme Latin is destined for magnus popularity and will have readers cheering, “Celebremus!”
128 pages, Paperback
First published March 8, 2004
19 people are currently reading
337 people want to read
About the author
Henry N. Beard
111 books38 followersHenry N. Beard (born ca. 1945) is an American humorist, one of the founders of the magazine National Lampoon and the author of several best-selling books.
Beard, a great-grandson of Vice President John C. Breckinridge, was born into a well-to-do family and grew up at the Westbury Hotel on East 69th Street in Manhattan. His relationship with his parents was cool, to judge by his quip "I never saw my mother up close."
He attended the Taft School, where he was a leader at the humor magazine, and he decided to become a humorous writer after reading Catch-22.
He then went to Harvard University from which he graduated in 1967 and joined its humor magazine, the Harvard Lampoon, which circulated nationally. Much of the credit for the Lampoon's success during the mid 1960s is given to Beard and Douglas Kenney, who was in the class a year after Beard's. In 1968, Beard and Kenney wrote the successful parody Bored of the Rings.
In 1969, Beard, Kenney and Rob Hoffman became the founding editors of the National Lampoon, which reached a monthly circulation of over 830,000 in 1974 (and the October issue of that year topped a million sales). One of Beard's short stories published there, "The Last Recall", was included in the 1973 Best Detective Stories of the Year. During the early 1970s, Beard was also in the Army Reserve, which he hated.
In 1975 the three founders cashed in on a buy-out agreement for National Lampoon; and Beard left the magazine. After an "unhappy" attempt at screenwriting, he turned to writing humorous books.
Beard, a great-grandson of Vice President John C. Breckinridge, was born into a well-to-do family and grew up at the Westbury Hotel on East 69th Street in Manhattan. His relationship with his parents was cool, to judge by his quip "I never saw my mother up close."
He attended the Taft School, where he was a leader at the humor magazine, and he decided to become a humorous writer after reading Catch-22.
He then went to Harvard University from which he graduated in 1967 and joined its humor magazine, the Harvard Lampoon, which circulated nationally. Much of the credit for the Lampoon's success during the mid 1960s is given to Beard and Douglas Kenney, who was in the class a year after Beard's. In 1968, Beard and Kenney wrote the successful parody Bored of the Rings.
In 1969, Beard, Kenney and Rob Hoffman became the founding editors of the National Lampoon, which reached a monthly circulation of over 830,000 in 1974 (and the October issue of that year topped a million sales). One of Beard's short stories published there, "The Last Recall", was included in the 1973 Best Detective Stories of the Year. During the early 1970s, Beard was also in the Army Reserve, which he hated.
In 1975 the three founders cashed in on a buy-out agreement for National Lampoon; and Beard left the magazine. After an "unhappy" attempt at screenwriting, he turned to writing humorous books.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
May 6, 2015
If this was a Latin text book, then Latin would be the most popular language in school. It has several useful chapters - the use of the word F-word for those possessed with any variety of road rage is perhaps the best one, offering insults far beyond any combination of fuck- possible in English. This book would make a great gift for a lawyer who has to use a certain amount of Latin anyway, and if the book falls open at the F-word cursing chapter when you give it as a gift, well then, so much the better.
November 29, 2016
X-Treme Latin is not a course book to learn Latin. You could guess it when see the Roman soldier giving a finger on the book's cover.
The title is correct: ... need to know for surviving the 21st Century. I don't believe ancient Roman people cursed/insulted/swore exactly as on the book. But... who cares, it's a fun book to play with some latin (dirty) words.
The title is correct: ... need to know for surviving the 21st Century. I don't believe ancient Roman people cursed/insulted/swore exactly as on the book. But... who cares, it's a fun book to play with some latin (dirty) words.
August 22, 2014
Nunc vero, huius libelli gratia, tu quoque potentia reverenda linguae Latinae uti potes ad indoctum vulgus consternandum??
De bello stultum librum scribam!!
Maxime radicitus! Flagro!
...
Insultasne tu miki? Caput Dolet...
Acervus inutilium est!
Verisimile est te haudquaquam intellegere quod dicimus; quid enim?
Noli mecum nugari!
Et habet a nice dies!
May 14, 2013
This is a little better than the typical book of translated insults. [It is unsettling to realize that I've collected four or five of these over the years.] It should be a useful resource: you can, for example, learn the Latin for "Ask my opponent why he wants to put a tax on Bibles and American flags to buy gourmet meals for convicted murderers." (p. 91)
Or, if attack ads aren't part of your daily life, you might be able to use the chapter on Useful Phrases for Barbarian Evildoers. "Please do not fire your catapult! We love your big chariots, fast food, and violent culture! We welcome you as liberators, not conquerors. We'd much rather be ruled by a distant emperor, even if he's a nitwit!" (pp. 64-66)
I note, however, that in the Preface (p. xv), "Et futue te ipsum" is mistranslated as "And have a nice day."
Or, if attack ads aren't part of your daily life, you might be able to use the chapter on Useful Phrases for Barbarian Evildoers. "Please do not fire your catapult! We love your big chariots, fast food, and violent culture! We welcome you as liberators, not conquerors. We'd much rather be ruled by a distant emperor, even if he's a nitwit!" (pp. 64-66)
I note, however, that in the Preface (p. xv), "Et futue te ipsum" is mistranslated as "And have a nice day."
November 13, 2011
I was hoping this would be a crash course for someone who missed out on Latin at school; no such luck.
December 26, 2012
Translations of amusing things, about as far from useful as it's possible to be. From driving:
to sport:
to science:
There's even something for Hollywood:
A good gag gift.
Big car, little dick
Currus magnus, mentula minuscula
to sport:
Athletes who complain about their pay end up in an urn
Athletae qui queruntur de mercedibus mox in urnas funduntur
to science:
The theory of evolution is baloney. Everyone knows the whole universe came out of Saturn’s nostrils
Theoria Darwiniana evolutionis specierum absurda est. Constat inter omnes universitatem rerum ab naribus Saturni venisse
There's even something for Hollywood:
Make the mother the father, change the cat to a dog, and lose the kid with cancer
Muta matrem in patrem, converte felem in canem, amitte puerum cancerosum
A good gag gift.
August 5, 2008
The introduction with Latin and English actually can make for an interesting introductory lecture to Latin if you provide the translations via power point to your students. Granted I'm sure that violates some type of copyright laws but I'm sure if the source is acknowledged shouldn't be too harmful. Some of the most ridiculous,useless, yet hilarious phrases that will jog the memory of anyone who studied Latin.
May 27, 2007
Puellae in forum descendere destinant et ibi mercimonium furari. Omnes paucis annis prosedae erunt.
The girls decide to go down to the mall and shoplift some stuff. In a few years they will all be hookers.
The girls decide to go down to the mall and shoplift some stuff. In a few years they will all be hookers.
May 4, 2008
This is a very funny book, and far more useful than you might think.
February 4, 2009
This book exists just in case some redneck somewhere needs to translate his crude hostilities into the mother tongue.
Read
March 28, 2016Hillarious ... vero, vero! id amo!!
February 24, 2014
Interesting little flick through book but clearly focused on the North American market.
It is also starting to show its age via some of the phrases that have been translated to Latin. References to OJ's Gloves, for example! I half expected to find the Latin for "Who shot JR"!
Still, I at least can now insult people in Latin :)
It is also starting to show its age via some of the phrases that have been translated to Latin. References to OJ's Gloves, for example! I half expected to find the Latin for "Who shot JR"!
Still, I at least can now insult people in Latin :)
September 30, 2023
I cant really speak as to how good is this as a learning book, i just read along, tried to pronounce some words, tried to learn some verbs u know
but its is really funny and makes it easier to engage with the language.
but its is really funny and makes it easier to engage with the language.
April 18, 2020
Not bad.
I was looking at the Wikipedia page for final clubs. I happened upon the Spee Club, and then Harry Beard, who founded the National Lampoon. This book is like a less contemporary version of Eidolon’s Levity section but with better editing. So here are some fun nuggets from this book I bought on a whim.
For all the people who think Latin is a dead language —
“Look around you. The Latin language is everywhere, like a cheap toga. Lawyers use it to defraud you. Doctors use it so that you shit yourself with fear. Politicians use it to hide their spoils when they rob you. Priests use it so that they absolve themselves when they are caught with the altar boys. Even garden plant peddler use it to persuade you to buy plants with great price and short lives.” (My translation)
Carpe narem. - “Pick your nose.” A clever twist on Horace’s “carpe diem.”
Solve lora infernis. - “Unleash hell.”
Illuc ivi, illud feci. - “Been there, done that.”
Age, catamite — fac mini hunc diem felicissimum. - “Go ahead, punk. Make my day.”
Quagis. - “‘Sup.”
Suscipite amorem, non bellum. - Something John Lennon and Yoko Ono would say. ;)
Fieri potest ut caput tuut displodatur. Fieri potest ut Latine blaterare incipias. - I hope both of these things happen to me this summer. Orans.
Iuvat potiumculam tibi praebere/Capiamus cerevisam/A te quaeso, sicut in Aeneidos libro quarto Aeneas ab [Dido] quaesivit, tuae domi an meae? - Hahaha. I hope someone gets these.
Zago, zagas, zagat. - “I’ll be sure to recommend this place to my friends.” No one uses Zagat anymore, Henry Beard, but this is brilliant nonetheless.
P.S. The pronunciation guide at the beginning of this book was actually very helpful. Much more approachable than the ones I found in other books. I can also see the “aptitude tests” as great templates for Latin Cards Against Humanity.
I was looking at the Wikipedia page for final clubs. I happened upon the Spee Club, and then Harry Beard, who founded the National Lampoon. This book is like a less contemporary version of Eidolon’s Levity section but with better editing. So here are some fun nuggets from this book I bought on a whim.
For all the people who think Latin is a dead language —
Circumspice. Lingua Latina se pandit ubique tanquam toga qwevilis. Iurisperiti ea utuntur ut te defraudent. Medici haec utuntur ut alvum evacues ex metu. Magistratus ea utuntur ad operienda vestigia cum te despoliant. Sacerdotes in stupro cum acolytis deprehensi ea utuntur ut se criminibus absolvant. Etiam venditores rerum hortensium ea utuntur ad pesuadendum tibi ut emas maximo pretio plantas vitae brevis.
“Look around you. The Latin language is everywhere, like a cheap toga. Lawyers use it to defraud you. Doctors use it so that you shit yourself with fear. Politicians use it to hide their spoils when they rob you. Priests use it so that they absolve themselves when they are caught with the altar boys. Even garden plant peddler use it to persuade you to buy plants with great price and short lives.” (My translation)
Carpe narem. - “Pick your nose.” A clever twist on Horace’s “carpe diem.”
Solve lora infernis. - “Unleash hell.”
Illuc ivi, illud feci. - “Been there, done that.”
Age, catamite — fac mini hunc diem felicissimum. - “Go ahead, punk. Make my day.”
Quagis. - “‘Sup.”
Suscipite amorem, non bellum. - Something John Lennon and Yoko Ono would say. ;)
Fieri potest ut caput tuut displodatur. Fieri potest ut Latine blaterare incipias. - I hope both of these things happen to me this summer. Orans.
Iuvat potiumculam tibi praebere/Capiamus cerevisam/A te quaeso, sicut in Aeneidos libro quarto Aeneas ab [Dido] quaesivit, tuae domi an meae? - Hahaha. I hope someone gets these.
Zago, zagas, zagat. - “I’ll be sure to recommend this place to my friends.” No one uses Zagat anymore, Henry Beard, but this is brilliant nonetheless.
P.S. The pronunciation guide at the beginning of this book was actually very helpful. Much more approachable than the ones I found in other books. I can also see the “aptitude tests” as great templates for Latin Cards Against Humanity.
August 16, 2008
I really thought that it would be slightly different from the other XTREME LATIN book by Henry Beard but in reality the only difference is the graphics, title,cover, and dimensions of the book. The text is word for word of the other XTREME LATIN book. This is not an exaggeration I sat there and looked at each book side by side and page for page.
March 7, 2009
Great read, wildly entertaining...especially if you love languages and ever want to trade insults in Latin. Some of the insults are a little strong, but the phrasing and grammar of Latin comes through.
The author has a number of other books on Latin that I'm interested in reading now. This one only missed on a 5th star due to the graphic nature of some of the insults.
The author has a number of other books on Latin that I'm interested in reading now. This one only missed on a 5th star due to the graphic nature of some of the insults.
June 17, 2008
ok, ok, don't get on me for adding this and giving it 5 stars... X-Treme Latin is good for the middle school/high school student who really hates Latin with jerks in their class always going around yelling at people in Latin. Everyone has to have a comeback or two handy!!!
Read
July 16, 2013Thanks to X-Treme Latin by Henry Beard, I now know how to say usuful phrases in Latin, like "A coyote whose habitat was destroyed by urban sprawl ate my homework" and "Eat hot lead, Nazi zombie robot commandos!"
September 2, 2015
Not only is it beyond useless if you've never taken Latin, it's just not all that funny. Considering the premise-- sentences, translated-- you'd think he'd give us verb forms or a chuckle or *something*
January 16, 2008
It's too bad that many people think Latin is a dead language, since it is heard so much in many of today's spoken languages. This book updates Latin for today's situations.
June 2, 2008
Need a way to insult someone in latin? This may be the book for you. Henry Beard gives you what you need from "your momma" lines to slogans. Amusing little book.
February 4, 2010
For all you Latin nerds out there, this is the definitive guide to swearing in Latin.
December 27, 2010
OK, and amusing in many places, but a bit pointless.
August 1, 2015
Worthless.
November 23, 2011
This had a few funny moments, but not as good as his earlier Latin send ups.
October 1, 2012
The English text was already funny. And with my very limited knowledge of Latin, it was also funny to see how some words translated (Barney the Purple Dinosaur, Spongebob).
February 16, 2013
Amusing and very clever. There's nothing like the sound of a good Latin insult.
May 20, 2013
Not gonna lie, I'm a total sucker for cheap jokes if they're translated into Latin.
July 10, 2013
Not useful, but sometimes amusing.
January 9, 2016
What a laugh.... it's somewhat scary that I knew quite a few of these...
An entertaining read.
An entertaining read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews