What do you think?
Rate this book
The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment
"You Can Effectively Parent an Adopted or Foster Child Parenting under the best of circumstances is difficult, but because of their unique needs, raising children from hard places brings additional challenges. You might discover that traditional techniques that may have worked for you with your birth children are not working with your adopted or foster child. Renown child development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis will give you practical advice and powerful tools you can use to encourage secure attachment in your child, just as she did for coauthor Lisa Qualls. You will benefit from Karyn's decades of research and understanding, plus Lisa's hands-on experience and successful implementation of the strategies shared in this book. You will learn how to simplify your approach using scripts, nurture your child, combat chronic fear, teach respect, and develop other valuable skills to add to your parenting toolbox. The Connected Parent will help you lovingly guide your children and bring renewed hope and healing to your family"--
187 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 7, 2020
348 people are currently reading
2192 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 321 reviews
June 29, 2020
Dr. Karyn Purvis. If you know, you know. This woman lived her life in a way that changed the world. The compassion, moxie and undeniable brilliance she carried is enough to make me buy any resource with her name on it. There is no book referenced in our home or given away more frequently than The Connected Child. Pages are highlighted, bindings are broken and sticky notes are strategically stuck throughout. Our kids know when to address Chapter 3 and Chapter 4 and they love above all else asking us if we need a redo. There are few people who have shaped my life or my work as a practitioner as much as Dr. Karyn Purvis.
When my parents were no longer able to parent me, when as a young child my grandparents became my primary caregivers overnight, my world was turned upside down. I cried and cried and cried. If everyone around me had understood the science behind my heartache, they would have cried too. When the crying eventually stopped it was assumed that I had experienced healing. The assumption was wrong. It was many years later, after much pain and suffering that I found my way into a therapist's office who understood attachment and the harm that I needed to overcome. I will be forever grateful.
Today I use what Dr. Purvis has taught me to help other families like mine, I do that 10,000 miles away from where home used to be. My grandma regularly tells me how much she wished this information were available when I was a little girl, how much she wishes she could go back and do it differently. Lisa Qualls says the same thing in these pages. Thanks to Dr. Purvis and to Lisa Qualls, the rest of us who parent children who have experienced deep hurts don't have to wish, the information is here and easily accessible.
I held this book for a couple of months before I could bring myself to read it. It's like the love letter from a grandparent you miss deeply. You want to know what they've said, but you are also not ready to live in a world where you've read their final address.
Dr. Purvis did what she does best, she leads us to a place where science intersects with the Word of God in a way that brings transformation where we need it the most. Lisa Qualls gave the world a gift. She took her friendship with Dr. Purvis and pulled back the cover and allowed us all to experience, up close and personal, what being mentored by Dr. Purvis means. Lisa gives practical real-life experiences with Trust Based Relational Intervention in a way that will help any parent, caregiver or trusted adult better use the tools Dr. Purvis taught us.
I love this book because it once again gave Karyn's voice to the world. The book is practical, well structured, organized and the key takeaways at the end of each chapter are helpful. We know that relationship based traumas require relationship based healing and Lisa's examples and experiences offer a much needed perspective to help us provide just that.
This book is a must read for anyone who has adopted or fostered, it is a must read for anyone who may ever in their entire life encounter a child who has experienced trauma. You will never regret learning what Dr. Purvis has to teach. You may only regret how long it took you to find your way to her.
The publisher made this book available via netgalley. These thoughts and opinions are my honest review.
When my parents were no longer able to parent me, when as a young child my grandparents became my primary caregivers overnight, my world was turned upside down. I cried and cried and cried. If everyone around me had understood the science behind my heartache, they would have cried too. When the crying eventually stopped it was assumed that I had experienced healing. The assumption was wrong. It was many years later, after much pain and suffering that I found my way into a therapist's office who understood attachment and the harm that I needed to overcome. I will be forever grateful.
Today I use what Dr. Purvis has taught me to help other families like mine, I do that 10,000 miles away from where home used to be. My grandma regularly tells me how much she wished this information were available when I was a little girl, how much she wishes she could go back and do it differently. Lisa Qualls says the same thing in these pages. Thanks to Dr. Purvis and to Lisa Qualls, the rest of us who parent children who have experienced deep hurts don't have to wish, the information is here and easily accessible.
I held this book for a couple of months before I could bring myself to read it. It's like the love letter from a grandparent you miss deeply. You want to know what they've said, but you are also not ready to live in a world where you've read their final address.
Dr. Purvis did what she does best, she leads us to a place where science intersects with the Word of God in a way that brings transformation where we need it the most. Lisa Qualls gave the world a gift. She took her friendship with Dr. Purvis and pulled back the cover and allowed us all to experience, up close and personal, what being mentored by Dr. Purvis means. Lisa gives practical real-life experiences with Trust Based Relational Intervention in a way that will help any parent, caregiver or trusted adult better use the tools Dr. Purvis taught us.
I love this book because it once again gave Karyn's voice to the world. The book is practical, well structured, organized and the key takeaways at the end of each chapter are helpful. We know that relationship based traumas require relationship based healing and Lisa's examples and experiences offer a much needed perspective to help us provide just that.
This book is a must read for anyone who has adopted or fostered, it is a must read for anyone who may ever in their entire life encounter a child who has experienced trauma. You will never regret learning what Dr. Purvis has to teach. You may only regret how long it took you to find your way to her.
The publisher made this book available via netgalley. These thoughts and opinions are my honest review.
July 6, 2020
In 2011, our family adopted a 7 year old boy who had spent his life in and out of foster care. We knew that bonding with him and meting his needs would take a lot of unconditional love and patience. We quickly learned that we also needed some different tools than parenting our older biological kids. One of the first books I picked up was The Connected Child by Dr. Karyn Purvis. She addressed the effects of trauma and attachment challenges and introduced us to the concepts of TBRI (Trust Based Relational Intervention). We learned to look past our child’s behavior and see how afraid he was. We learned to put connection with him first and began to build a relationship where he would feel safe. I was able to take some further trainings in a conference and class setting. I also began to follow the resources of experienced special needs parents, such as Lisa Qualls of One Thankful Mom. Lisa has been an example of perseverance and dedication to meeting the needs of her family and I have learned a lot from her. She and Dr. Purvis began this book many years ago and Lisa has been able to complete after Dr. Purvis passed away in 2016. There has been a lot of scientific research in the areas of trauma and attachment and I have been looking forward to both the challenge and encouragement of The Connected Parent. Our son is now 16 and has been with us for 9 years. He continues to grow and thrive and trust us more, even as he works through the difficulties of his past. I’m so thankful for the connected approach and not sure where we would be without it.
In The Connected Parent, you will find science based information interspersed with stories from Lisa’s family. Each chapter has key takeaways and questions for reflection and action. The reader is challenged to identify their own attachment style and where they need support or healing from their own past. There are many practical ways to incorporate connection throughout the day. We are given short, simple scripts to use. I appreciated the suggestions for teens as we have outgrown the ones we used when our son was young. You will learn what needs may be behind your child’s behavior, how to create feelings of safety and bonding experiences, the four pieces of healthy attachment, the balance of structure and nurture, how to identify sensory needs, and a challenge to incorporate self-care.
The Connected Child had been the top book I have recommended to anyone adopting or involved in the lives for kids “from hard places”. Now I will add The Connected Parent as an excellent resource. I believe it will benefit any parent seeking to build a safe and trusting relationship with their child.
In The Connected Parent, you will find science based information interspersed with stories from Lisa’s family. Each chapter has key takeaways and questions for reflection and action. The reader is challenged to identify their own attachment style and where they need support or healing from their own past. There are many practical ways to incorporate connection throughout the day. We are given short, simple scripts to use. I appreciated the suggestions for teens as we have outgrown the ones we used when our son was young. You will learn what needs may be behind your child’s behavior, how to create feelings of safety and bonding experiences, the four pieces of healthy attachment, the balance of structure and nurture, how to identify sensory needs, and a challenge to incorporate self-care.
The Connected Child had been the top book I have recommended to anyone adopting or involved in the lives for kids “from hard places”. Now I will add The Connected Parent as an excellent resource. I believe it will benefit any parent seeking to build a safe and trusting relationship with their child.
July 6, 2020
This book is a game changer.
I've been an adoptive parent for 8 years now. I was lucky enough to become aware of Dr. Karyn Purvis before we began our journey. We used the very basics of what we knew of Trust-Based Relational techniques from day one with our oldest son with great success.
Then came our second child, and our world turned upside down. This child was far more deeply wounded and it seemed that nothing we did worked. He didn't respond to anything the same way that our oldest did. Our lives were complete chaos. We were severely sleep deprived. I immediately began turning to the wealth of books available on parenting and adoption.
But, as you may understand if you have walked this road, I was too overwhelmed to even benefit from them. When you are living day to day in survival mode with very little sleep, it's impossible to really digest a tome of neuropsychology or a parenting book that requires extensive focus and attention. Truth be told, I rarely made it past the first two chapters of these books. Still, we needed help. I ended up hiring a parenting coach who specialized in TBRI. I begged, "Give me the cliff notes. I need to know exactly what to do and say in these situations!" Still, our parenting coach would send me long chapters to read of these same books I had already shelved, and would write long tomes speculating on the "why" behind the behavior instead of telling me how to address it. Don't get me wrong. Knowing the "why" is important, yes, and this book addresses that as well. But when you're drowning, exploring "why" you are drowning isn't nearly as helpful as being thrown a life preserver!
That is what this book is. This book is the life preserver I've needed ever since our second child came into our lives.
First, this book is a quick, easy read. I read it over the course of three mornings when my kiddo happened to sleep in. It isn't wordy or complicated. It gets to the point immediately.
Second, this book is full of real life examples and strategies to use. I particularly appreciated the scripts for parents, and the tips on how to change the scripts for older kids/teens who don't necessarily respond to the typical ones.
Finally, Lisa Qualls' voice is invaluable. Reading her sections felt like having a conversation with a friend who really, truly understands how hard this is. I've often felt alone on this parenting journey because our many therapists and supports simply have never lived it. Their advice is often impractical and doesn't come from a place of understanding the details of our daily lives and just how much work it takes every day to keep things stable. In reading this book, I could tell that Lisa has lived it and gets it. I felt so grateful for the moments she shared from her own life, moments where she was tired and overwhelmed and entirely human. For me, it set this book apart from the others on my shelf. Instead of setting an impossible standard and another list of "shoulds," this book met me exactly where I am and encouraged me to live each day simply with grace for myself and my children.
Perhaps most importantly, I have already seen a change in my home since reading this book. I have connected more with my children. I have seen my youngest begin to trust me more. Difficult behaviors have become easier to manage with my new scripts. I feel more empowered as a parent than I have in a long time. I've started having fun with my kids again.
This book is the one I wish I would have had years ago, and I'm so grateful to the late Dr. Karyn Purvis and to Lisa Qualls for sharing this with us.
Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are entirely my own.
I've been an adoptive parent for 8 years now. I was lucky enough to become aware of Dr. Karyn Purvis before we began our journey. We used the very basics of what we knew of Trust-Based Relational techniques from day one with our oldest son with great success.
Then came our second child, and our world turned upside down. This child was far more deeply wounded and it seemed that nothing we did worked. He didn't respond to anything the same way that our oldest did. Our lives were complete chaos. We were severely sleep deprived. I immediately began turning to the wealth of books available on parenting and adoption.
But, as you may understand if you have walked this road, I was too overwhelmed to even benefit from them. When you are living day to day in survival mode with very little sleep, it's impossible to really digest a tome of neuropsychology or a parenting book that requires extensive focus and attention. Truth be told, I rarely made it past the first two chapters of these books. Still, we needed help. I ended up hiring a parenting coach who specialized in TBRI. I begged, "Give me the cliff notes. I need to know exactly what to do and say in these situations!" Still, our parenting coach would send me long chapters to read of these same books I had already shelved, and would write long tomes speculating on the "why" behind the behavior instead of telling me how to address it. Don't get me wrong. Knowing the "why" is important, yes, and this book addresses that as well. But when you're drowning, exploring "why" you are drowning isn't nearly as helpful as being thrown a life preserver!
That is what this book is. This book is the life preserver I've needed ever since our second child came into our lives.
First, this book is a quick, easy read. I read it over the course of three mornings when my kiddo happened to sleep in. It isn't wordy or complicated. It gets to the point immediately.
Second, this book is full of real life examples and strategies to use. I particularly appreciated the scripts for parents, and the tips on how to change the scripts for older kids/teens who don't necessarily respond to the typical ones.
Finally, Lisa Qualls' voice is invaluable. Reading her sections felt like having a conversation with a friend who really, truly understands how hard this is. I've often felt alone on this parenting journey because our many therapists and supports simply have never lived it. Their advice is often impractical and doesn't come from a place of understanding the details of our daily lives and just how much work it takes every day to keep things stable. In reading this book, I could tell that Lisa has lived it and gets it. I felt so grateful for the moments she shared from her own life, moments where she was tired and overwhelmed and entirely human. For me, it set this book apart from the others on my shelf. Instead of setting an impossible standard and another list of "shoulds," this book met me exactly where I am and encouraged me to live each day simply with grace for myself and my children.
Perhaps most importantly, I have already seen a change in my home since reading this book. I have connected more with my children. I have seen my youngest begin to trust me more. Difficult behaviors have become easier to manage with my new scripts. I feel more empowered as a parent than I have in a long time. I've started having fun with my kids again.
This book is the one I wish I would have had years ago, and I'm so grateful to the late Dr. Karyn Purvis and to Lisa Qualls for sharing this with us.
Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are entirely my own.
July 5, 2020
This book is a great follow up to The Connected Child. The Connected Parent combines the amazing principles of TBRI with real life experiences showing how to walk them out. It is the missing piece so many parents are looking for. I have been flying through this book and am almost finished; it is an easy read because it is so relatable! If you have a child with a history of trauma, this book is a MUST read!
July 5, 2020
Kids don’t come with a manual, but The Connected Parent Is very close!
I have been waiting to read this book since I heard that it was being written. I loved learning from Dr. Purvis is her previous works, and combining her knowledge of brain science with the wisdom of Lisa Qualls, a mom who has parented biological, adopted and foster kids using the principles of Trust Based Relational Intervention, is pure genius. The stories, woven among the science, guide curious parents to find ways to better connect with our children. I especially loved the simple scripts to practice when regulated so I can guide my child when she is not at her best. I will be referring to this manual many times as I practice using these scripts and work to bring healing to my youngest child.
I have been waiting to read this book since I heard that it was being written. I loved learning from Dr. Purvis is her previous works, and combining her knowledge of brain science with the wisdom of Lisa Qualls, a mom who has parented biological, adopted and foster kids using the principles of Trust Based Relational Intervention, is pure genius. The stories, woven among the science, guide curious parents to find ways to better connect with our children. I especially loved the simple scripts to practice when regulated so I can guide my child when she is not at her best. I will be referring to this manual many times as I practice using these scripts and work to bring healing to my youngest child.
July 4, 2020
I just finished reading this book,The Connected Parent, that is soon to be released. I was given the chance to read it early so that I might write a review. To say it plainly, this book is great. As I read, it felt like a favorite mentor coming alongside, putting their arm around me and saying "I know this is hard, here's some practical help".
But not only that, the suggestions WORK!!! I know it is written to parents of children who have experienced trauma, and my kids have... they were all adopted, but very young when they came to our house. These skills carry over to the realm of parenting kids with special needs. My youngest has autism, ADHD & FASD. He's somewhat verbal, but shuts down at times. Yesterday was one of those times. He was up early and fussing. I followed the scripts given in chapter 3 and offered him two options of what he could do. This didn't work for him, so I continued following the scripts and said it sounds like you want a compromise. What do you want to do now? He said "trains" which are loud and would wake everyone up. So I said ok, you can have two trains. He wanted more, so we compromised with three, but he had to play quietly. And it worked!! Usually things would escalate to him waking everyone up and being in a bad mood all day. But not this time!!
Read the book!! :) #theconnectedparent
But not only that, the suggestions WORK!!! I know it is written to parents of children who have experienced trauma, and my kids have... they were all adopted, but very young when they came to our house. These skills carry over to the realm of parenting kids with special needs. My youngest has autism, ADHD & FASD. He's somewhat verbal, but shuts down at times. Yesterday was one of those times. He was up early and fussing. I followed the scripts given in chapter 3 and offered him two options of what he could do. This didn't work for him, so I continued following the scripts and said it sounds like you want a compromise. What do you want to do now? He said "trains" which are loud and would wake everyone up. So I said ok, you can have two trains. He wanted more, so we compromised with three, but he had to play quietly. And it worked!! Usually things would escalate to him waking everyone up and being in a bad mood all day. But not this time!!
Read the book!! :) #theconnectedparent
July 5, 2020
A must read! This book is a wonderful, gentle and realistic introduction, or review, of TBRI practices, with the added layer of real life examples. For all the parents who are starting the journey of foster or adoption, this is the book for you...it gives you a window into the challenges you may face, but also tools and tips that will help you navigate. If you are in the middle of the journey, and wondering what is next...this book is for you. If you have learned about TBRI, and think it sounds wonderful, but are wondering how to actually put it into practice, this book explains the implementation, from a mom who has truly done that. And, if you are well into your journey, you have learned all the things, you have tried all the tricks, and you are tired and discouraged...this book is for you. Lisa encourages, and gives real life tips to persevere, try and again, and take baby steps in the right direction. And honestly, this book is for ALL parents, not just those parenting kids from hard places. The advice and practices are excellent...and every single parent and child could benefit from the wisdom shared.
July 5, 2020
The insights, compassion, and advice given by Dr. Purvis and Lisa Qualls in The Connected Parent has brought renewed hope to our family. As a mother of 3 children by birth and 2 by adoption, I was losing my way in this parenting journey. I was blessed to receive a review copy of this book, and our family has already started on a path of healing, renewed compassion, and hope as we put into practice the wholesome advice given along with the real-life example shared in the book. May all who read it be similarly renewed, encouraged, and strengthened!
July 7, 2020
Easy to read, and quick to start implementing! (One step at a time.) This book is a perfect companion to The Connected Child. Where the first book gives the details of how trauma affects the brain and behavior of children from hard places, The Connected Parent gives real-life stories. These stories will help caregivers apply simple principles in their families’ lives. The stories show that no parent is perfect and no kid is perfect, but progress is doable. Connections with kids from hard places can be made. There is hope and healing—for kids and parents alike.
July 16, 2020
When I heard this book was being released FINALLY I knew it would have a permanent place on my “Everyone Should Read” list. This book is more than just a “parenting” book, it’s a look at the life of families who say “yes” to parenting children from hard places and their journey to healing. I can hear Dr. Purvis’ gentle but firm voice as she encourages parents to persevere & take a look at behaviors through the lens of trauma and not as rejection or rebellion.
Lisa’s willingness to share the stories from her own family and how parenting changed for them when they brought home their adopted children offered the encouragement I needed to continue to lean into these teachings and methods!
My biggest take away from this book was that we parent in the attachment style that we are used to, whether it’s biological, foster or adoptive children and if WE have come from a place of trauma, we may have some personal work to do in order to parent children on the road to healing.
This a great overview of some practical parenting skills that everyone can use, with an easy to read, conversational pace. I can not wait to share this book with others so we can talk about it!
Lisa’s willingness to share the stories from her own family and how parenting changed for them when they brought home their adopted children offered the encouragement I needed to continue to lean into these teachings and methods!
My biggest take away from this book was that we parent in the attachment style that we are used to, whether it’s biological, foster or adoptive children and if WE have come from a place of trauma, we may have some personal work to do in order to parent children on the road to healing.
This a great overview of some practical parenting skills that everyone can use, with an easy to read, conversational pace. I can not wait to share this book with others so we can talk about it!
July 6, 2020
I first came to TBRI after our first adoption 9 years ago. The principles of TBRI have given me an incredible gift- the gift of seeing my children as the precious humans they are, understanding that their behavior is their way of expressing needs, and practical ways to provide the structure and nurture they need to thrive. TBRI is not an easy thing to do. I mess up all the time. But I keep trying. Over the years, I have clung to every bit of advice from Dr. Karyn Purvis: every article, document, interview, video, or conference talk.
I have a 13 year old biological child, a 9 year old adopted child, and a 7 year old adopted child. Every one of my children has different needs, but every one of them benefits from the principles of TBRI. This is the gold-standard for parenting kids from adoption or foster care, BUT it is also an incredible tool for parenting biological children. Everyone needs nurture and structure!
I wondered how much I could learn from this book after studying TBRI for so many years (and becoming a TBRI practitioner). The thing I love most about this book is the practical application it provides. I’m also a foster parent recruiter, so if someone comes to be and wants to become a foster parent, THIS is the book I will recommend to them first. This provides the basic general overview of TBRI, the supporting research, personal stories from the author, and tools like scripts (prompts) which are easy ways to help teach things like respect, boundaries, proper behavior, negotiating needs, and so much more.
For example, if a young child misbehaves, a “redo” is offered and the child has a chance to redo the action using appropriate words or actions. So, the parent just says “hey sweetie, let’s have a ‘redo’” and the child has the chance to learn and practice the correct behavior. The power of the “Redo” is life-changing for a parent. For older children, you can offer “compromises,” where the child is involved in problem-solving and has an opportunity to negotiate their needs while showing respect. For an older child, you could say something like “let’s make a deal.” These scripts are INCREDIBLE tools to not only set standards for behavior, but to help empower children to navigate this world using respect for themselves and others.
The book is truly an easy and interesting read. It’s not bogged down with too much technical data or scientific stuff (although TBRI was built on decades of research and data). It is easy to understand for anyone stepping into foster care or adoption, or anyone working with children for that matter.
The author provides a refreshing first-hand view of what it looks like to parent children from hard places. She encourages the reader to reflect on their own attachment styles and triggers, which is incredibly eye-opening. She says near the beginning “Children from hard places often have holistic needs because many developmental processes have been interrupted by adversity in childhood- therefore require holistic interventions.” So we look at the whole child, seek to understand, and meet needs both spoken and unspoken.
If you are new to foster care or adoption- this is the book you need to read first. As soon as you’re done with this, pick up “The Connected Child” to dig deeper. TBRI has truly changed my life and the lives of my children.
I have a 13 year old biological child, a 9 year old adopted child, and a 7 year old adopted child. Every one of my children has different needs, but every one of them benefits from the principles of TBRI. This is the gold-standard for parenting kids from adoption or foster care, BUT it is also an incredible tool for parenting biological children. Everyone needs nurture and structure!
I wondered how much I could learn from this book after studying TBRI for so many years (and becoming a TBRI practitioner). The thing I love most about this book is the practical application it provides. I’m also a foster parent recruiter, so if someone comes to be and wants to become a foster parent, THIS is the book I will recommend to them first. This provides the basic general overview of TBRI, the supporting research, personal stories from the author, and tools like scripts (prompts) which are easy ways to help teach things like respect, boundaries, proper behavior, negotiating needs, and so much more.
For example, if a young child misbehaves, a “redo” is offered and the child has a chance to redo the action using appropriate words or actions. So, the parent just says “hey sweetie, let’s have a ‘redo’” and the child has the chance to learn and practice the correct behavior. The power of the “Redo” is life-changing for a parent. For older children, you can offer “compromises,” where the child is involved in problem-solving and has an opportunity to negotiate their needs while showing respect. For an older child, you could say something like “let’s make a deal.” These scripts are INCREDIBLE tools to not only set standards for behavior, but to help empower children to navigate this world using respect for themselves and others.
The book is truly an easy and interesting read. It’s not bogged down with too much technical data or scientific stuff (although TBRI was built on decades of research and data). It is easy to understand for anyone stepping into foster care or adoption, or anyone working with children for that matter.
The author provides a refreshing first-hand view of what it looks like to parent children from hard places. She encourages the reader to reflect on their own attachment styles and triggers, which is incredibly eye-opening. She says near the beginning “Children from hard places often have holistic needs because many developmental processes have been interrupted by adversity in childhood- therefore require holistic interventions.” So we look at the whole child, seek to understand, and meet needs both spoken and unspoken.
If you are new to foster care or adoption- this is the book you need to read first. As soon as you’re done with this, pick up “The Connected Child” to dig deeper. TBRI has truly changed my life and the lives of my children.
July 7, 2020
When you’re drowning, someone throws you a lifesaver so you can stay afloat. But if you’re drowning and someone gives you a life jacket that you can wear and actually enjoy the water, you’re able to change your perspective about the water. A lot of books feel like a lifesaver but you have to hang on for dear life. But The Connected Parent felt more like a life jacket. It changed my perspective on parenting children from hard places. It gave me actual tools that I use to make the climate of my family feel hopeful and not like we’re drowning. I especially connected with Dr. Purvis’ expert advice that intertwined so applicably with Lisa’s parenting experience and tools. I felt like it was the application I’ve been missing in other books. As I read, I could see how to utilize Lisa’s experiences in my own home. Lisa invites us into her family’s world and shows us she’s one of us and is the relatable link between the research and caregivers.
For specifics, the “scripts” guidelines helped our family begin to build more connections during calm times. This book helped shed light on some sleep issues we experience and gave me practical ways to build safe and healthy ways of helping my children sleep better according to their needs. For instance, for a child who prefers small, confined spaces, they pulled out a tent and it made the child feel relaxed and cozy and he loved it. This is one practical tool I would not have thought of in my sleep deprived world. In addition to the tool belt, there were many examples of infusing nurture into daily activities and how nurturing facilitates healing.
There are practical to-do lists as well as fresh ways of infusing our family with new methods of thinking to help heal the wounds. As a parent of four grown children, I’ve had to relearn how to parent my next four. What comes natural to me or how I was previously taught to parent isn’t what helps my children grow and heal. This book is vital in reframing that parenting mindset.
The “Key Takeaways” at the end of each chapter helped summarize all the notes I was taking. The “Try It Today” followed the takeaways and helped me process exactly how the tools could be integrated into my family. Make sure you’re armed with a journal as you read!
If you’re new to the world of parenting while building connection, this book gives a wonderful explanation of trauma in children and how it effects their developing brains. It explains attachment and gives both the new reader a strong foundation and the experienced trauma informed parent a strong recap and solidifies knowledge.
Instead of just surviving, I feel like this book gives parents real tools to thrive...both for us and our kids. It make sense of many behaviors and reactions that made NO sense to us. I will be reading this again and use it as a “field manual” that I will reference over and over.
For specifics, the “scripts” guidelines helped our family begin to build more connections during calm times. This book helped shed light on some sleep issues we experience and gave me practical ways to build safe and healthy ways of helping my children sleep better according to their needs. For instance, for a child who prefers small, confined spaces, they pulled out a tent and it made the child feel relaxed and cozy and he loved it. This is one practical tool I would not have thought of in my sleep deprived world. In addition to the tool belt, there were many examples of infusing nurture into daily activities and how nurturing facilitates healing.
There are practical to-do lists as well as fresh ways of infusing our family with new methods of thinking to help heal the wounds. As a parent of four grown children, I’ve had to relearn how to parent my next four. What comes natural to me or how I was previously taught to parent isn’t what helps my children grow and heal. This book is vital in reframing that parenting mindset.
The “Key Takeaways” at the end of each chapter helped summarize all the notes I was taking. The “Try It Today” followed the takeaways and helped me process exactly how the tools could be integrated into my family. Make sure you’re armed with a journal as you read!
If you’re new to the world of parenting while building connection, this book gives a wonderful explanation of trauma in children and how it effects their developing brains. It explains attachment and gives both the new reader a strong foundation and the experienced trauma informed parent a strong recap and solidifies knowledge.
Instead of just surviving, I feel like this book gives parents real tools to thrive...both for us and our kids. It make sense of many behaviors and reactions that made NO sense to us. I will be reading this again and use it as a “field manual” that I will reference over and over.
July 6, 2020
I adopted 2 children (one at birth and the other at 10mos) from hard places. The child that was placed at 10 months has been difficult - oppositional defiant, violent, ADHD and didn't respond to the child rearing that was working with his older brother. "Tough" discipline doesn't help and in fact, made him feel less safe. My whole family was exhausted, overwhelmed, and struggling with the challenges of our difficult or extremely defiant child. In fact, behavior started getting worse and I was at my wit's end. I was recommended to look at Attachment Parenting - this method worked...better, but still was only one piece of the puzzle. Once we figured out that his behavior was all fear based, and he was likely RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), and we started treating him younger (emotionally), his severe behavioral problems became less frequent. Knowing his emotional age helps me implement true(r) empathy-even during temper tantrums. Strategies and techniques that don't come naturally are starting to - because they WORK and are helping. It also reminds me to take better care of myself (which doesn't come naturally when you are hanging on by a thread) I knew (through trial and error) to meet his physical needs and we eat MUCH healthier than other families, because if we don't, he simply falls apart. I also put more sensory breaks into his day and before particularly stressful situations (even seeing friends and family is very stressful [over exciting] to him). One thing that doesn't come naturally and is a major focus in this type of parenting, is to put put his connection needs FIRST, even in a temper tantrum or in his overexcitment. I also correct his behavior (sometimes - it isn't natural, yet) by disarming fear, FIRST. One concept called "Compassion Fatigue" is a real issue for caregivers and without OWNING that and solving it, my child cannot heal. Great book - highly recommend it to families that have adopted children from hard places.
July 5, 2020
I received an advanced copy of the book from the publisher and I am leaving my honest opinion. I wanted to read this book because of my experience being a foster and adoptive mom. I have also attended a live training of Empowered to Connect led by the late Dr. Karyn Purvis and I have been part of a book group that studied “The Connected Child” book. I could relate to Lisa’s description of challenging times raising children from “hard places” and feeling alone. In the pages of this book, I found that I am not alone. The tools and resources mentioned are actually applicable to Lisa’s real life and if she can parent in this new way to meet her children’s needs, then I am encouraged to do the same.
Here, science meets reality and it is a game changer for the parents in the trenches as Lisa attests with her relevant examples. The foundation is laid out and clearly explained by Dr. Purvis and is implemented by Lisa to show the reader that these techniques work. Dr. Purvis shares a way to raise our game or use “investment parenting” which in my words the reader gets to “parent-up” instead of just wading through the behavioral challenges that are constantly coming our way.
The building block in the book is building trust over trauma and the authors look through the lens of compassion and understanding at a child’s history. This thoughtful thinking is definitely needed in our world today to make more and better connections with others. This book was easy to read, well organized and the “takeaways” were clear and meaningful. I would recommend this book to other parents including those in my small group because the information is relevant, relatable and reliable.
Here, science meets reality and it is a game changer for the parents in the trenches as Lisa attests with her relevant examples. The foundation is laid out and clearly explained by Dr. Purvis and is implemented by Lisa to show the reader that these techniques work. Dr. Purvis shares a way to raise our game or use “investment parenting” which in my words the reader gets to “parent-up” instead of just wading through the behavioral challenges that are constantly coming our way.
The building block in the book is building trust over trauma and the authors look through the lens of compassion and understanding at a child’s history. This thoughtful thinking is definitely needed in our world today to make more and better connections with others. This book was easy to read, well organized and the “takeaways” were clear and meaningful. I would recommend this book to other parents including those in my small group because the information is relevant, relatable and reliable.
July 7, 2020
The Connected Parent is a wonderful book for all adoptive and foster parents, not just those with children with obvious trauma in their past. I would not have characterized my son as being from a "hard place" since we adopted him at birth. However, I have learned that all adoptive kids come with some trauma. Just being the result of an unwanted pregnancy and having the original family bond disrupted affects a child's brain chemistry and development. I wish I had recognized that sooner, and especially wish The Connected Parent had been available years ago. The information and techniques it shares are clear and extremely practical. Lisa Qualls' real life examples coupled with Dr. Karen Purvis' explanation of the principles behind the techniques are a winning combination that makes this book a wonderful addition to any adoptive parent's toolbox.
The Connected Parent is very easy to read and does not feel dense even though it is jam-packed with information. While reading Lisa's sections you feel like you are sitting down with a friend over a cup of coffee. The tools she shares are simple, yet profound, and her personal examples make them seem eminently doable. I especially love the "key takeaways" section at the end of each chapter. That really helps cement the concepts.
I highly recommend The Connected Parent to ANY adoptive parent!
The Connected Parent is very easy to read and does not feel dense even though it is jam-packed with information. While reading Lisa's sections you feel like you are sitting down with a friend over a cup of coffee. The tools she shares are simple, yet profound, and her personal examples make them seem eminently doable. I especially love the "key takeaways" section at the end of each chapter. That really helps cement the concepts.
I highly recommend The Connected Parent to ANY adoptive parent!
July 4, 2020
If I had a dollar for every parenting book I've grabbed over the past few years, I might be debt-free by now. Raising two children with two vastly different temperaments has left me throwing my hands up in the air more often than I would like to admit.
When the opportunity to read an early copy of The Connected Parent arose, I figured why not?
I'm not really the target reader - the book focuses on raising children who come from hard places (most likely through adoption) - but trust-based parenting isn't a method limited to children with traumatic histories.
What surprised me most is how much the content of the book made sense. The authors don't paint an overly optimistic view of connected parenting. In fact, they are candid that trust is a long game parents have to play. But what I appreciate about it most is the practical application. I could implement almost every suggestion immediately upon reading it. There was no big preparation or planning needed. The tips fit in with real life, right now.
For me, the biggest benefits have been the scripts. Knowing what to say in circumstances where I would typically react poorly has brought more peace to our home.
This is a book I can see myself keeping as a resource and giving to friends so they can also benefit from the common-sense perspectives and tactics shared in its pages.
When the opportunity to read an early copy of The Connected Parent arose, I figured why not?
I'm not really the target reader - the book focuses on raising children who come from hard places (most likely through adoption) - but trust-based parenting isn't a method limited to children with traumatic histories.
What surprised me most is how much the content of the book made sense. The authors don't paint an overly optimistic view of connected parenting. In fact, they are candid that trust is a long game parents have to play. But what I appreciate about it most is the practical application. I could implement almost every suggestion immediately upon reading it. There was no big preparation or planning needed. The tips fit in with real life, right now.
For me, the biggest benefits have been the scripts. Knowing what to say in circumstances where I would typically react poorly has brought more peace to our home.
This is a book I can see myself keeping as a resource and giving to friends so they can also benefit from the common-sense perspectives and tactics shared in its pages.
July 5, 2020
The Connected Parent is the perfect combination of science and real world application. Dr Purvis and Lisa Qualls have delivered this message with such grace and gentleness that it feels like a conversation over coffee. And yet the information is absolutely invaluable! So practical and full of helpful tips for parenting our precious kids from hard places (the Key Takeaways and the Try It Today sections at the end of every chapter are gold!). I honestly wish I'd had this information years ago because it's so applicable to non-Trauma kids, too. This is one parenting book that I'll refer to time and time again!
July 5, 2020
This book is a must read for not only adoptive parents but for parents in general. Most of our children today have experienced trauma in some form and the skills discussed in this book are invaluable. I am so inspired by the authors of the book they truly are amazing women. This book should be staple on any mental health providers shelf. You will not be disappointed with this book definitely on my top 10 list!
July 7, 2020
Almost every page was a reflection of the child I am raising. While it is somewhat disheartening to see our struggles laid out time and time again in black and white, it is also comforting to know that we are not alone. So often, the issues facing adopted children and adoptive parents are segmented into categories: behavioral issues; sensory issues; educational issues; feeding issues. This book does an excellent job of not only highlighting the research that shows how all of these issues may arise from early trauma and lack of secure attachment, but also provides clear cut examples that can help parents address them head on. As one author, Lisa Qualls, states, “parenting children with early trauma requires us to learn new ways of living and loving” (pg. 173). This book will help you do just that.
One thing that rubbed me the wrong way was the use of the word “training” throughout the book; I don’t love using that word in association with children, and would be more comfortable with the word teaching.
That being said, one of the best parts of the book is its introduction of “scripts” to address particular scenarios that are common in households like mine. Because, as the book points out, kids with trauma backgrounds often have a hard-time parsing words when dysregulated, this book suggests a variety of specific short phrases that can be used to help a child redirect and regulate.
The late Dr. Purvis makes clear that “early trauma changes a child’s brain chemistry, and it won’t just automatically heal. They need insightful, precise, skillful parenting to bring them to success” (pg. 145). This book will help put you on the path to becoming that skillful parent.
Whenever I read anything therapeutic I look to the reviews to see how religious it may be. I’m uncomfortable with books that focus on God’s will, and prayer as the solution. I’d like to share for parents similar to me that while there are a few mentions of prayer and God, they are brief (pg. 80; pg. 105), and not the focus of the parenting recommendations. I wouldn’t consider this a religious book, though it is clear one of the writers is religious.
Also, for those of you familiar with TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention), this book does touch on its principles, but isn’t an in-depth guide. If you are looking for that, I would look elsewhere. If you are looking for an easy to read guide on how to deal with the various behavioral and sensory challenges often associated with foster care and adoption, this is the book for you. I wish I could assign it as required reading for all my child’s teachers, relatives, and family friends!
*I received an advanced copy from the publisher, but this is my honest opinion about the book*
One thing that rubbed me the wrong way was the use of the word “training” throughout the book; I don’t love using that word in association with children, and would be more comfortable with the word teaching.
That being said, one of the best parts of the book is its introduction of “scripts” to address particular scenarios that are common in households like mine. Because, as the book points out, kids with trauma backgrounds often have a hard-time parsing words when dysregulated, this book suggests a variety of specific short phrases that can be used to help a child redirect and regulate.
The late Dr. Purvis makes clear that “early trauma changes a child’s brain chemistry, and it won’t just automatically heal. They need insightful, precise, skillful parenting to bring them to success” (pg. 145). This book will help put you on the path to becoming that skillful parent.
Whenever I read anything therapeutic I look to the reviews to see how religious it may be. I’m uncomfortable with books that focus on God’s will, and prayer as the solution. I’d like to share for parents similar to me that while there are a few mentions of prayer and God, they are brief (pg. 80; pg. 105), and not the focus of the parenting recommendations. I wouldn’t consider this a religious book, though it is clear one of the writers is religious.
Also, for those of you familiar with TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention), this book does touch on its principles, but isn’t an in-depth guide. If you are looking for that, I would look elsewhere. If you are looking for an easy to read guide on how to deal with the various behavioral and sensory challenges often associated with foster care and adoption, this is the book for you. I wish I could assign it as required reading for all my child’s teachers, relatives, and family friends!
*I received an advanced copy from the publisher, but this is my honest opinion about the book*
July 6, 2020
As a mom and a clinician who works with children, I'm always looking for good parenting books. In my opinion, a good parenting book is one that is easy to read, can be applied, and works. The Connected Parent meets all these requirements.
I read the Connected Child a few years ago and have seen the benefit of implementing TBRI principles with several of my clients but have struggled to get parents "on board." I was thrilled when I heard about The Connected Parent and was hoping for a resource for my parents.
Now, trust based, attachment parenting is not a quick fix. It's not 3 steps to a better behaved child. It's hard work. It is intentional and proactive. It's seeing the need that is driving your child's behavior and responding in ways that create connection with your child (while still working towards correcting inappropriate behavior). When it comes to this, Dr. Purvis was the guru. With several years of research into working with children who have not had past opportunities to create healthy, lasting, trusting relationships, Dr. Purvis' work is the go to for helping "children from hard places." The Connected Parent provides this research in simple, easy to understand language. It then adds the experiences of Lisa Qualls from a mother's perspective.
I love Lisa's transparency and examples about using connecting techniques with her kids. I appreciate her saying that every child is different and some techniques are a good fit while others are not. The book is an easy read and key points along with action steps are summarized at the end of each chapter. And the techniques are not just for kids who have been adopted or in fostering, great ideas for bio kids too.
I was given an advanced copy from the publisher. These thoughts and opinions are my honest review.
I read the Connected Child a few years ago and have seen the benefit of implementing TBRI principles with several of my clients but have struggled to get parents "on board." I was thrilled when I heard about The Connected Parent and was hoping for a resource for my parents.
Now, trust based, attachment parenting is not a quick fix. It's not 3 steps to a better behaved child. It's hard work. It is intentional and proactive. It's seeing the need that is driving your child's behavior and responding in ways that create connection with your child (while still working towards correcting inappropriate behavior). When it comes to this, Dr. Purvis was the guru. With several years of research into working with children who have not had past opportunities to create healthy, lasting, trusting relationships, Dr. Purvis' work is the go to for helping "children from hard places." The Connected Parent provides this research in simple, easy to understand language. It then adds the experiences of Lisa Qualls from a mother's perspective.
I love Lisa's transparency and examples about using connecting techniques with her kids. I appreciate her saying that every child is different and some techniques are a good fit while others are not. The book is an easy read and key points along with action steps are summarized at the end of each chapter. And the techniques are not just for kids who have been adopted or in fostering, great ideas for bio kids too.
I was given an advanced copy from the publisher. These thoughts and opinions are my honest review.
July 6, 2020
Over the past 3 years, I have trained hundreds of educators, parents, and community based professionals in #tbri and supported their journey of implementation. My passion for this work is one of the greatest joys of my life! I have the privilege of being on the Review Team for the newest TBRI book by Dr. Karyn Purvis, Lisa Qualls - One Thankful Mom, and Emmelie Pickett, which allowed me the opportunity to read it before the big release on July 7th. Three words: I LOVED IT! This book is a must read for anyone who prioritizes deep trust and healthy relationships as they live, parent, and lead. As a professional, I loved the way this book aligns so perfectly with everything I teach. The Connected Parent is the perfect introduction to TBRI, and for those who are recently trained or well-versed in this approach, this book provides another great resource to further integrate what you know. As a fellow adoptive mom, Lisa’s stories and the emotions felt between the lines resonated so strongly with me. Raising, teaching, and leading children who have experienced deep pain and trauma is not easy, but the most worthwhile journeys never are. The Connected Parent is the affirmation and encouragement we all need as we experience the grief, joy, and beauty of the journey.
Thank you, Dr. Karyn Purvis, for your incredible contribution in healing our world! I loved hearing your voice as I read your words of wisdom. Thank you, Lisa Qualls, for your tenacity and vulnerability in writing this book. Thank you, Emmelie Pickett, for connecting all of the pieces in a way that only you can! So proud of all of you.
Thank you, Dr. Karyn Purvis, for your incredible contribution in healing our world! I loved hearing your voice as I read your words of wisdom. Thank you, Lisa Qualls, for your tenacity and vulnerability in writing this book. Thank you, Emmelie Pickett, for connecting all of the pieces in a way that only you can! So proud of all of you.
July 6, 2020
This book is what we have been waiting for!
After understanding the science and learning about all the strategies that we can use to help our kiddos from trauma, some questions still remain “What will this look like in a 24/7, real life, regular people setting? How can I keep going when things get tough? Will this really be worth it when sometimes this “connected parenting thing” does not seem to yield results?” This book will answer those tough questions, educate, encourage and be there alongside with you on the journey.
This book is a MUST READ for all of us who care for children who have suffered trauma. It is the perfect blend between the highly respected late Dr Karyn Purvis’ knowledgeable, inspiring voice explaining essential foundational knowledge about how trauma impacts the brain and behavior, and the honest, vulnerable and down to earth, yet encouraging and practical voice of a mom who has BEEN THERE, who has walked the walk and put all the recommendations and strategies into practice. This book blends the two worlds of theory and the struggle of real life application. It will serve you as a compass that you will find yourself going back to over and over for all your questions in your marathon of striving for and with your precious child for healing.
Angela Bryan, TBRI® Educator
After understanding the science and learning about all the strategies that we can use to help our kiddos from trauma, some questions still remain “What will this look like in a 24/7, real life, regular people setting? How can I keep going when things get tough? Will this really be worth it when sometimes this “connected parenting thing” does not seem to yield results?” This book will answer those tough questions, educate, encourage and be there alongside with you on the journey.
This book is a MUST READ for all of us who care for children who have suffered trauma. It is the perfect blend between the highly respected late Dr Karyn Purvis’ knowledgeable, inspiring voice explaining essential foundational knowledge about how trauma impacts the brain and behavior, and the honest, vulnerable and down to earth, yet encouraging and practical voice of a mom who has BEEN THERE, who has walked the walk and put all the recommendations and strategies into practice. This book blends the two worlds of theory and the struggle of real life application. It will serve you as a compass that you will find yourself going back to over and over for all your questions in your marathon of striving for and with your precious child for healing.
Angela Bryan, TBRI® Educator
July 6, 2020
If you have a child in your life, this is the book for you! The book I wish I had before I started as a foster parent, or really, a biological parent as well. Connecting and being connected with is one of the most important things I can cultivate with all the children in my home (bio, adopted, or foster) and I find myself using this knowledge to build trust with each of them. I have this book on my Kindle, but will be purchasing a physical copy to highlight and refer back to.
I wept as I finished this book. It is just filled with so much hope. I have loved and trusted the voice of Dr. Purvis for many years and would consume any content she put out for the abundant pearls of wisdom it contains. In this book, her science/trauma-informed/therapy perspective coupled with Lisa Qualls parent lived, day-to-day practical application make it easy to put to immediate practice in everyday life. I loved digging into the foundations of attachment and evaluating where my own might be better tuned to help grow my relationships. The chapters on scripts and adapting TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) concepts to teens held some of my biggest takeaways. I appreciated the end of chapter summaries with “Key Takeaways” and “Try It Today” bullet points.
July 6, 2020
When I became a foster parent five years, I thought I was fully prepared for what we were embarking on! I soon found out how ill-prepared I truly was.
A couple of years in and I found Dr Karyn Purvis and The Connected Child. I finally felt like I had found the missing link. But as we began trying out all that we had learned from the book, as well as TBRI videos, something else was missing. Either that, or we were just the only foster/adoptive parents struggling.
Enter- The Connected Parent!!! This book was not only the last words written by Dr Purvis before she passed away, but the real life words of Adoptive Mom Lisa Qualls was exactly what I needed to read. Finally I felt like I wasn’t alone. Finally a voice was given to all of the thoughts, fears, and challenges we were having as parents.
In all honesty, this book is for more than just the struggling foster/adoptive parent. As a birth mom also, I wished I would have had this book when I first began raising my biological children. It literally could be the parent handbook we’ve all wished we would have been given when handed our children from the very beginning!
A couple of years in and I found Dr Karyn Purvis and The Connected Child. I finally felt like I had found the missing link. But as we began trying out all that we had learned from the book, as well as TBRI videos, something else was missing. Either that, or we were just the only foster/adoptive parents struggling.
Enter- The Connected Parent!!! This book was not only the last words written by Dr Purvis before she passed away, but the real life words of Adoptive Mom Lisa Qualls was exactly what I needed to read. Finally I felt like I wasn’t alone. Finally a voice was given to all of the thoughts, fears, and challenges we were having as parents.
In all honesty, this book is for more than just the struggling foster/adoptive parent. As a birth mom also, I wished I would have had this book when I first began raising my biological children. It literally could be the parent handbook we’ve all wished we would have been given when handed our children from the very beginning!
July 6, 2020
We are a foster and adoptive family and have parented 13 children over the years. We recently had the opportunity to watch the video broadcast Empowered to Connect Conference though our foster agency and at the end of the video I found myself wishing I could have one more chance to hear from Dr Purvis. I heard about this book the next day and it felt like the answer to a prayer.
I received an advance copy of this book - and read the entire book in a day. I have followed Lisa Qualls for years and could not imagine a better partnership to author a book like this one. Dr Purvis offers the parenting strategies and an explanation of the 'why' behind these strategies and Lisa follows with very practical examples of how to apply these principles. I have read so many parenting books over the years that gave me a lot of great theoretical knowledge but left me wondering how to implement the ideas in my day to day life with my kids. Lisa's practical how-to is incredibly helpful in developing strategies for parenting kids from hard places. This book should be on the 'must read' list of every new foster parent.
I received an advance copy of this book - and read the entire book in a day. I have followed Lisa Qualls for years and could not imagine a better partnership to author a book like this one. Dr Purvis offers the parenting strategies and an explanation of the 'why' behind these strategies and Lisa follows with very practical examples of how to apply these principles. I have read so many parenting books over the years that gave me a lot of great theoretical knowledge but left me wondering how to implement the ideas in my day to day life with my kids. Lisa's practical how-to is incredibly helpful in developing strategies for parenting kids from hard places. This book should be on the 'must read' list of every new foster parent.
July 6, 2020
A MUST READ FOR ANYONE TOUCHED BY THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM!!
This is an excellent follow-up of "The Connected Child". I’ve spent the last 14 years serving within the child welfare system and “The Connected Parent” is a MUST READ for foster parents, adoptive parents and social workers. Not only does it give real-life examples of using the strategies, but it also gives “Key Takeaways” and “Try It Today” sections at the end of each chapter. This allows the reader to think about the concepts, determine what might work for their family and ways to move into action. This book offers grace, hope, understanding, healing and a breath of fresh air for anyone serving children who’ve experienced trauma. I believe these methods are how Jesus would want us to serve our children and assist in their healing. Do yourself a favor and pick this book up for yourself, a foster parent or an adoptive parent!! While I received an advanced copy from the publisher, this review is my honest opinion about the contents of the book.
This is an excellent follow-up of "The Connected Child". I’ve spent the last 14 years serving within the child welfare system and “The Connected Parent” is a MUST READ for foster parents, adoptive parents and social workers. Not only does it give real-life examples of using the strategies, but it also gives “Key Takeaways” and “Try It Today” sections at the end of each chapter. This allows the reader to think about the concepts, determine what might work for their family and ways to move into action. This book offers grace, hope, understanding, healing and a breath of fresh air for anyone serving children who’ve experienced trauma. I believe these methods are how Jesus would want us to serve our children and assist in their healing. Do yourself a favor and pick this book up for yourself, a foster parent or an adoptive parent!! While I received an advanced copy from the publisher, this review is my honest opinion about the contents of the book.
July 7, 2020
I love the Connected Parent. The book is a must read for parents with kids from hard places. The format goes between real life examples and then the reasons behind the parenting techniques used. Lisa Qualls is down to earth and vulnerable and that makes her stories as a mom incredibly relatable. Karyn Purvis' innate wisdom and kindness shine through in this book. For so many parents struggling with their kids, this book will bring them newfound hope and tools for the momentous task they have undertaken.
I love this book because it is evidence based with real life examples and offers the practical tools needed to heal children from hard places. It offers both the bigger ideas of self care and reframing behaviors to understand the need behind them as well as simple tools like life scripts. Parents, caregivers, educators, social workers, and therapists would all benefit from this book.
I was given an advanced copy from the publisher. These thoughts and opinions are my honest review.
I love this book because it is evidence based with real life examples and offers the practical tools needed to heal children from hard places. It offers both the bigger ideas of self care and reframing behaviors to understand the need behind them as well as simple tools like life scripts. Parents, caregivers, educators, social workers, and therapists would all benefit from this book.
I was given an advanced copy from the publisher. These thoughts and opinions are my honest review.
July 6, 2020
This book is a must have for any foster or adoptive parent. I read it in one sitting because I could not put it down! It was a wonderful balance between the science behind early childhood trauma and the brain, and what real life looks like parenting children from hard places. As an adoptive mother of children from foster care, I could step into Lisa Qualls’ examples from her life and easily apply them to our home. She gives practical life scripts some of which I have used for years with great success and some which are new and I will be implementing into our day to day. As my oldest adopted son begins to enter his teen years, I especially appreciated the chapter on teens. Each chapter ends with key take aways which are so helpful in summarizing the chapter.
What a gift to be able to have this last written work from Dr. Karyn Purvis. I could hear her calming voice through-out, and Lisa’s parenting wisdom is a treasure.
This book will not disappoint!
What a gift to be able to have this last written work from Dr. Karyn Purvis. I could hear her calming voice through-out, and Lisa’s parenting wisdom is a treasure.
This book will not disappoint!
July 6, 2020
This book is the encouragement, inspiration and education needed on your journey through foster care/adoption!
I have been working with “children from hard places” for 8 years. I have been a TBRI Practitioner for the last 8 months. I am so excited to be able to share the information and new insights gained through reading The Connected Parent with the parents and staff I am training at my agency! The Connected Parent has great real world examples of how to put into practice what TBRI teaches. Lisa gives parents insight into how TBRI can work in their lives and most importantly shows how TBRI effects all of our relationships, not just our relationship with our “children from hard places”. This is an easy read despite the importance of the message it carries! I love the Key Take Away’s and Try IT Today’s at the end of each chapter! If I hadn’t already taken a hundred notes, they make sure I have not missed anything!
I have been working with “children from hard places” for 8 years. I have been a TBRI Practitioner for the last 8 months. I am so excited to be able to share the information and new insights gained through reading The Connected Parent with the parents and staff I am training at my agency! The Connected Parent has great real world examples of how to put into practice what TBRI teaches. Lisa gives parents insight into how TBRI can work in their lives and most importantly shows how TBRI effects all of our relationships, not just our relationship with our “children from hard places”. This is an easy read despite the importance of the message it carries! I love the Key Take Away’s and Try IT Today’s at the end of each chapter! If I hadn’t already taken a hundred notes, they make sure I have not missed anything!
July 6, 2020
This book is awesome! I'm not a parent, but I work with children who have histories of trauma, abuse, and/or neglect, and this book provided me with even more insights into helping children who have come from hard places. It is full of wisdom and practical strategies to help children heal, whether they are your children or children you work with. This book is all about Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI). I'm a TBRI Practitioner, so I love having another tool in my tool belt. I love that it combines research and strategies by Dr. Karyn Purvis with the real life experience of Lisa Qualls. It shows what TBRI and being a "connected parent" looks like and how you can incorporate it into your home. I love how practical it is! These strategies are useful even if your children do not have a history of harm. Basically, if you have a child in your life (regardless of if they are your child or you just work with children), get this book!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 321 reviews