Everything Is Beautiful, and I'm Not Afraid: A Baopu Collection

by Yao Xiao

Everything Is Beautiful, and I'm Not Afraid perfectly captures the feelings of a young sojourner in America as she explores the nuances in searching for a place to belong. Baopu is a monthly serialized comic on Autostraddle, and this book includes beloved fan favorites plus new, never-before-seen comics.

This one-of-a-kind graphic novel explores the poetics of searching for connection, belonging, and identity through the fictional life of a young, queer immigrant. Inspired by the creator's own experiences as a queer, China-born illustrator living in the United States, Everything Is Beautiful, and I'm Not Afraid has an undeniable memoir quality to its recollection and thought-provoking accounts of what it's like to navigate the complexities of seeking belonging—mentally and geographically.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Comics, LGBT, Memoir, Queer, Nonfiction, Mental Health

128 pages, Paperback

First published March 3, 2020

Reviews

[daph pink ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75 stars

I have polarising views about this memoir and I normally don't read memoirs (only if they are in graphic books forms because then its easy to read) because I am no one to judge the contents of the life or things they have written , we as reader can only relate and enjoy, so I didn't relate to any of the things mentioned honesty except a few like ,
"Will universe ever answer back ?"

and

"11 months of fiction and 1 month of reality "

And I 80% didn't enjoyed reading it because ,

1. The mushy art style was difficult to understand
2. It felt more like a compilation of few journal entries
3. Repetitive

But I appreciate the idea and wish to read more books by the author!!

[Reading_ Tamishly · Rating 4 out of 5]

'11 months of fiction. 1 month of reality.'
.
.
Who else can relate to this?
.
Me!

I love this book so much! Inspite of the cute and colourful illustration, this one is really hard-hitting talking about reality and queer gender issues. I would like to call this book a coming of age story and discuss issues that affect women on a day-to-day basis.
There are a few parts on racism and discrimination. There are a few original lines or poetry by the author in between which I really appreciate. The book talks mainly about how the author had been her entire life feeling stuck, invisible, confused and trapped (which we all feel at one time or the other) and then growing as a person after all these years of restrictions on writing and singing. This book is genuine in the sense that the illustrations stand out and depict exactly how the author felt. A
The first half of the book talks mainly about insecurities while the later half talks mainly about living and starting life all over again.
I appreciate the tips given in this collection regarding summer days, social interaction, spending and self-care. The book towards the end focuses more on accepting oneself when faced with body shaming, family issues, gender discrimination and how the author came to terms with being herself.
She urges the readers to keep trying and to love a little bit everyday.
Wow, I didn't expect all of these things when I picked up this book.
The book delivered more than what I had expected!
***Pride month is coming up and I am so glad I got to read this book!
Totally recommended 👍
Thank you #NetGalley for the book #EverythingisBeautifulandIAmNotAfraid

[Dave Schaafsma · Rating 2 out of 5]

Isn't this a great cover and title for a pandemic? Something sweetly "up" when you are down? Well, I guess it kinda is: This graphic memoir/self-help book is by and about a queer, Chinese immigrant woman, facing racism, sexism, homophobia, peppered with aphorisms and encouraging observations. It's kind of loose on all counts, reading quite a bit like a journal, wandering through these issues without any really new or deep insights into any of these issues. But I know it will be read by many, many people with that cover and color and title. Hopefully some women experiencing the double-whammy of prejudice from being a queer immigrant can get some hope from it.

[destiny ♡ howling libraries · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really, truly appreciate the idea behind this collection: a bisexual Chinese author talking about how hard it was to come out to her mother, stipulations that come with being from an immigrant family, the struggles of a conservative mother, and more. All of that said, unfortunately, the execution didn't work for me. I didn't enjoy the art style, some of the layouts of the comics were a bit hard to follow, and the narrative voice as a whole didn't mesh with me. I really wanted to like this more than I did, sadly.

Thank you so much to the publisher for providing me with this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Questa graphic novel descrive l’esistenza queer e migrante che l’autrice ha vissuto trasferendosi dalla Cina a New York.. Belle le tavole e piacevole il focus sui sentimenti della protagonista nonché scrittrice di questa gn.

[Thushara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to Netgalley for this amazing book!

[Chad · Rating 1 out of 5]

This just didn't work for me. It's a self-reflective look at the author trying to belong. It's almost like a book of private journal entries the author decided to share. The artwork and lettering were really difficult to follow making this a no-go for me. I started skimming halfway through.

Received a review copy from Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley. All thoughts are my own and inno way influenced by the aforementioned.

[Maia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been following Yao Xiao's work online for several years and I'm really glad I finally made time to read the collection! The brightly colored pages are full of small, poem-like comics that circle and return to multiple themes: self-esteem, coming out as queer, being a Chinese American immigrant living in the US, trust, taking up space, trusting in one's own strength and the love of friends and community. The artist draws themself as a small character with orange hair and a black elf hat and moves like a spite through urban landscapes, clouds, dreams, gardens, hopes, fears and other elements of the unconscious. There's no overarching narrative, but the many small experiences add up to a greater sum than their parts.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

یه سری پیام هاش رو خیلی دوست داشتم،
یه سریشون خیلی چرت بودن
و مثلکه به خوندن یه سریشون نیاز داشتم.
به طور کلی، جدای از محتوا و حرف هایی که میخواست بزنه، هم طرح هاش گوگولی بود هم اسکچ‌نوت های جذابی داشت.

[Andi · Rating 5 out of 5]

So moved by this book. I'd seen some of Yao Xiao's work on Autostraddle over the years, and eagerly snapped this up. I was not disappointed.

An absolutely poetic graphic novel, beautifully done. And oh-my-god the feelings... all of the feelings. Dark and lonely; hopeful and at peace. This work clearly illustrates a restless searching for belonging - with society, with family and with oneself.

Favorites:
“I’m not afraid”
[…] But I’m still here.
Everything is fucking beautiful.
And I am not afraid.

“Don’t censor feelings”
It’s important to be mad
It’s important to be sad
It’s important to be angry and lost
And to carry on dreaming of what you love

"I don't have a box"
I don't want to choose a box.
I'm just... Hanging out. That's okay, yes?

** I received this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.**

[Readingwithnori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was beautiful to read. I love that the art style is simple yet bright. So many important topics are shown here, like coming out to close people and it might not go as well and even positive affirmations towards therapy. We have mental health representation, Gender fluidity, being an immigrant, and so much more. I would definitely recommend you pick this up.

[Alicia Bayer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This comic collection is definitely for a certain audience. The author identifies as a queer Asian immigrant and it's quite an existential series of cartoons about issues like coming out to disapproving parents, stresses involved in being an immigrant from being afraid to speak out on social media to the legal costs, relationship troubles, depression and much more (favorite spread: the fear bingo, with squares like "racist comments when I'm not prepared" and cancer).

The artwork is often gorgeous and is in full color. It's a pretty sad book, though, and often like reading through a really artistic person's diary and doodles while they're going through an existential crisis. This is not a happy book but it is one that many young people will probably relate to. I know my oldest (21) would probably really enjoy it. I would preview it before purchasing, as it really does seem to have a niche audience. For those who relate though, or who want to understand the complex struggles of folks in Xiao's communities, it is an honest and heartfelt read with some nice art.

I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for the purpose of review.

[Anniek · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I did like some of these comics, I found that most of them didn't really work for me. I wasn't the biggest fan of the art style, although I did find some really beautiful pages, and I found the writing to be unnecessarily complex for such short comics, and overly simplistic at other times. Due to the lay-out of the pages, it was sometimes difficult to follow the correct sequence. Maybe I just read this at the wrong time, but I didn't really end up enjoying this. It's not at all a bad comic collection, it just wasn't for me.

Rep: Chinese bisexual MC

CWs: homophobia, racism

[Rod Brown · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is interesting subject matter as the author's surrogate, Baopu, deals with rejection by her mother when she comes out as bisexual. She also has to handle the stress of being a Chinese resident alien in New York City.

Unfortunately, the presentation is basically graphic poetry, and I just could not engage with that. Not my thing.

[Etienne · Rating 1 out of 5]

This wasn't for me in any way. I can't really talk of experience, maybe it might do some good to young people struggling with their identity... That wasn't my case, but I still feel like this book purpose and execution was a bit blurry! I wouldn't recommend it!

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure how to describe this. It feels like an illustrated poetic memoir. It is jumbled and messy and complex and just beautiful. It doesn't always make sense. It is so movingly written, though, and the color palette is perfection. It feels like the search for belonging that it is.

[metempsicoso · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pur con rispetto per l'esperienza dell'autrice, questa è solo una raccolta di pensierini con dei disegnetti stilizzati.

[Sassy Sarah Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything is Beautiful, and I'm Not Afraid by Yao Xiao

3.75 stars

This is a graphic novel collection that follows the musings and thoughts of a bisexual Chinese immigrant living in American who has been rejected by her Chinese mother. The artwork is beautiful and has a lot of transcendental landscapes that will appeal as well as encourage a lot of women or men with similar stories. I can't relate personally, but I appreciated the heart of this and the emotional capacity that this graphic novel addresses. There are some pages that are stilted and feel a little awkward, but the overall message of this novel is powerful and I enjoyed some of the conversations and dialogue that could be started based off of the points with sexuality, immigration, diversity, bisexual erasure, and acceptance. There are even more topics addressed, but I think that those should be discovered on your own by picking up this small and simple graphic novel collection. I'm glad that I read it and while it won't be something I will always remember I am glad to have read someone's story that is so different from my own.

Whimsical Writing Scale: 3.25

Art Scale: 4

Plotastic Scale: 4

Cover Thoughts: I love the cover. It was drew me in and the title also reminds me of Slaughterhouse-Five, so that was a plus.

Thank you, Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing, for providing me with a copy of this graphic novel in exchange for an honest review.

[Amit Verma · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is about sadness enveloping someone who is alien to everything surrounding. To his own blood as well as to foreign land.
It is about misfit who cannot escape traditional restraints and also cannot survive in the cage. So he is caught between two worlds, both of which are out of his control.
It depicts with extreme sadness how everything falls apart for main character.
Artwork is very good, eye-catching and innovative in most part. .
It is the artwork that kept me going inspite of it being a very sad book.
Overall a nice read for particular group of readers.
Cannot recommend it to everyone except may be to look at innovative use of artwork and changing backgrounds.
Thanks netgalley and publisher for review copy.

[Ms. Arca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lovely concepts and there were a few pages that were spot on for me (would be useful for teaching tools, too).

The entire compilation as a whole didn’t work for me though. It felt messy for lack of a better word?

Queer, Chinese immigrant woman sorting out life and its ups and downs. From the description I thought it would be a perfect match for me, but it just didn’t quite work for me (art or writing)—

But! Graphic novels are especially personal, I think, and like I said there were a couple pages that I would’ve totally flagged or sent to friends or used with students.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Elizabeth A · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected to really like this one. A young, queer, Chinese immigrant seeks a place to belong. When you don't fit in with your family of origin, or even the country you were born, where do you call home?

This graphic memoir didn't work for me on any level. I didn't like the illustration style, and while I appreciated what the author was attempting here, this just wasn't for me.

[Brooke · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately I did t really enjoy this. I appreciate what was talked about, but how this was told just I couldn’t connect to it. Also the art style wasn’t my favorite.

[Suhasa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful, absurd and thought provoking!

[Alexiel Dubois · Rating 5 out of 5]

Questa graphic novel si legge in un attimo. Non lasciatevi però ingannare dalla sua fluidità. I temi che prende sono tanti e delicati. Tutto parte dall’accettazione di sè, dell’essere queer in un paese come la Cina e come sia difficile vivere lontano da tutti come immigrata in America.

Yao Xiao descrive le sue paure le mette sotto forma di disegno e ce le mostra. Ci mostra i costrutti sociali che ci demoralizzano come donne anche nella nostra società, ci mostra tutte le problematiche di una comunità conservatrice come la Cina che, vi stupirà, non è così poi tanto diversa dalla nostra.

Le tavole sono coloratissime, i disegni semplici e immediati per rendere tutto molto fluido e far arrivare il messaggio chiaro al lettore.

[Vanessa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book isn't for everyone and I think that's why there are a lot of differing reviews. I really enjoyed it and I'll try to explain why.

The art style isn't exactly consistent (I feel like that's on purpose) and it's a little on the cartoon-y side but I actually really like it. There isn't a set formula like a four panel comic in this book, all the panels change from page to page making it feel more active and dynamic. The simplistic style also lends itself to focus less on the pictures and more on what is said and going on. That said, here are some truly lovely panels and full page spreads also included in here. Also there is more to art than making it conventionally attractive, it can be said that true art is a conveyance of feelings but art in itself is subjective .

This book does read more like confiding in your diary type of book, but it is definitely an art piece itself. Yao Xiao is telling a story that doesn't spell it out for the reader, in a traditional sense, and you're meant to read between the lines to fill in more of the story. There is a fair amount of referencing to being queer and an immigrant-which if you aren't those things you can't relate to but you can learn from. There is also other things that could be relatable, such as searching for your place in the world, accepting yourself, learning to speak positively, self-care, and just a ton of other things this book touches on.

Yao Xiao takes you on a journey to learn about her but also to learn about herself. She traverses many seemingly insignificant memories that obviously left a lasting impression on her, learning to accept herself-even if others won't, and learning that it doesn't make her any less if people don't accept her. This is such a lovely and open book that it almost feels like being confided in by a close friend.

[Graeme · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yao Xiao navigates the young adult life of the narrator, who is struggling with identity as an (im)migrant, queer person, in a home that is not her home, and all the other questions of belonging and love in New York City. I like the descriptions and illustrations depicting the narrator's immigrant, queer status, and finding her identity. but the "self-help advice" peppered in throughout the book is distracting and takes away from the more personal feel of the fictional memoir.

Reviewed for NetGalley

[scribble · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. It’s a heartacheingly beautiful book.

As a bi person with a middle eastern background, I was able to relate to a lot of Yao’s beautiful writing and illustrations.

I think it allowed me to uncensor so many build up emotions. Though, I don’t mean this in a sad way but rather in a way that it opened my heart to beautiful feelings.

[Will Henry]

When the queer immigrant from a conservative family POV hits, it hits ! !

[Rick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything Is Beautiful, and I'm Not Afraid is a collection of comics highlighting the life of a queer immigrant. Going into this blind, I felt slightly disjointed at first. Once I realized it was not a continuous story and that most of the pieces were poems, I quickly fell in love with the beauty and honesty of the work. Xiao captures a range of emotions, events, and life lessons in powerful ways. I found myself wanting to screenshot numerous pages. It is a quick read, but one where you could also sit and ruminate on a single page for a long time. This certainly will not be everyone's cup of tea, but there is a lot here to love for those willing to take the journey.

[m&m’s cupcake · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sometimes you find the quote that defines you in the most unexpected book

"When I saw that box
Rusty, secretive, reeks of old blood
Somehow I knew it was mine
My inheritance, of violence, secrets, UNSPEAKABLE PAIN...
Am I capable of opening it?
Will its content consume me?"

WILL ITS CONTENT CONSUME ME?

That's what I wonder