Take Control of Your Life: How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game

by Mel Robbins

Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately. 

With humor and wisdom, Mel Robbins expertly tackles the fear of change, rejection, and being alone, as well as imposter syndrome and feeling trapped in the wrong career. Each session is a goldmine of discovery as Mel guides you to find your purpose, improve your relationships, and ultimately take control of your life. In these times of high anxiety, it's easy to feel overwhelmed - that changes right now. If you want the tools to break free from fear and live to your fullest potential, this is a must-listen.

Genres: Audiobook, Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Psychology

Audio CD

First published February 7, 2019

About the author

Mel Robbins is an Ivy League educated criminal defense attorney and entrepreneur whose quick wit and fresh take on current affairs has helped her become a sought-after commentator, internationally recognized speaker, Contributing Editor to SUCCESS Magazine, best-selling author, relationship expert and Common Sense Activist.

Her advice and fiery opinion have been seen by tens of millions of viewers nationwide on shows ranging from Dr. Phil, Anderson Cooper, The Today Show, The Talk, Oprah, CNBC, and FOX Business.

Mel’s first book, STOP SAYING YOU’RE FINE – The No B.S. Guide To Getting What You Want – is now available in paperback and is published by Crown. It’s the best-seller that teaches readers how to stop procrastinating by using the latest neuroscience research and ingenious strategies to achieve goals.

Mel loves speaking to large audiences and delivers action-inspiring keynote speeches and workshops at large business conventions and leadership conferences worldwide. She also hosts leadership and training programs for companies ranging from Johnson & Johnson, Fidelity, Partners Healthcare, Wells Fargo; to leading law firms, family businesses, and privately held companies across America.

Mel is a graduate of Dartmouth College and Boston College Law School. She’s a working mom with three school-aged kids and is married to fellow entrepreneur Christopher Robbins, the co-founder of Stone Hearth Pizza.

Reviews

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t normally read a lot of what I would call self-help or personal development books. To be honest, I am so old school that I am still hanging on to the lessons I learned from Stephen Coveys’ “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. Yea, that makes me sound old and I get it. I probably am.

When someone recommended Mel Robbins “The Let Them Theory” to me and Audible put it on sale and I made an impulse purchase, primarily because Robbins was reading it herself. The result was…WOW!

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Robbins passionately explain her theory, share personal stories that bring it to life, and the scientific research that supports it. Although I am just starting to participate in audiobooks, I must say that listening to her present the information was so well delivered, that I must say that her personal elevated and added an additional depth than just reading the book.

Following that awesome listening experience, I immediately followed it up with her “Take Control of Your Life” – an Audible Original production that is not currently available in print form. Needless to say, this turned out to be another worthwhile listening experience as well as another strong investment in my own personal development and growth.

Although “Take Control of Your Life” aligns pretty well with “The Let Them Theory” it is also different in how it presents its concepts. “Let Them” used a lot of family and personal stories to support the learning material; whereas “Take Control” uses six life-coaching sessions that Robbins has with real individuals facing personal and professional challenges that include fears of dealing with change, rejection, loneliness, hiding who you really are, and career dissolution. Robbins walks through each of their situations, explores the drivers that lead them to their struggles, and provides insights to help them recognize the triggers and take different actions moving forward.

The key that makes these sessions and Mel’s coaching so helpful is that there are elements in their various situations that most likely reflect similar issues and bad habits in our own lives. I am not suggesting that you will have all of the same problems and issues that they do, but I am confident that there will be a few things that will remind you of yourself, family members, friends, or associates.

For me, the lessons on setting boundaries with others, take time for self-care, recognizing the triggers that cause my own fear to kick-in, and making sure to surround myself with supportive relationships were key reminders that more than worth the cost of purchase.

To be honest, I enjoyed the “Let Them” audiobook more than I did this one, but it doesn’t mean that this wasn’t a worthy audiobook though. I appreciated listening to, and rediscovering, the real-life personal development tools that can help break my own patterns of fear and establish new habits that lead to a better life.

In closing, I already started listening to her audiobook “The High 5 Habit” and will be checking out the Mel Robbins podcast. For me, she is best experienced in the audio format where her energy and synergistic delivery leap out at you as if you’re having a personal conversation. That’s my story and I am sticking to it…

[LAURA · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audible audio book. This got better as I listened more and got used to Mel Robbins’ style. Some useful ideas that I can apply to myself. A good range of experiences covered across the 6 coaching sessions.

[Inga Grencberga]

mīlu Melu! ♥️

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

anything mel robbins writes >>>>

[Mohamad · Rating 5 out of 5]

This audio book was just different, very different.
Not because it introduced and discussed new ideas, in fact all the issues and info, we all have heard about before, specially the ones who are interested in self improvement.
BUT, how Mel dives deep into the issues and gives insights and connects the dots and recognizes patterns and gives immediate comments, its like im learning for the first time how to actually see understand and tap into all the self improvement tips I have collected in life.
Simply mind blowing and super helpful!
Just WOW this made me want to actually take more serious steps towards the better controlled and less worrying life I always wanted.

5/5 worth every second if your time.

[Jennifer Gilmour · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading The Let Them Theory, The 5 Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins I had to go onto her next book that I was drawn to Take Control Of Your Life. I felt it was very similar to Kick Ass with Mel Robbins with the different people she had coached throughout the book, however, the last person had me feel very differently about the book. It was something I needed to hear in terms of how our childhood patterns can play out in different relationships, I knew this but Mel talked through this persons experience and broke it down. It became understandable and challenged my mindset on how I am moving forward in my own journey. I think each person will take something different from this book and I believe it is worth giving a listen.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first I wasn't enjoying the coaching dynamic as a listener, but I decided to stick with it to hear the outcome and I'm glad I did. Mel's insight into the origin of the fear-induced behaviours and how to retrain yourself to break those habits really hit me. I think everyone can relate to this. Definitely stick with it for the breakdown at the end of each session.

[Clare · Rating 5 out of 5]

You never know what someone is going through, but you can find the tools to help yourself.

[༺ Jason ༻ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical ways to take our negative patterns and change our previous responses to positives. Great listen.

[Hisgirl85 · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars. This style of narrative was helpful for me, going through coaching sessions and then discussing them with reflection. I found it interesting that I related to most of the people, which was a bit overwhelming. However, at the end, there is a coaching session for you (the listener), and I realized it could just be what is the one priority at the moment with maybe a couple of small changes, and it hit. Maybe this will be a higher rating later.

I can definitely see how this is not for everyone, but it worked for me.

[Rania Kamal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect

[Tami · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked the interviews and had great advice but then she goes back through the interview again and repeats it so it gets very repetitive.

[Jenelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the book’s standout aspects is Robbins’ emphasis on actionable steps rather than theory alone. She introduces practical tools, such as reframing techniques, visualization exercises, and her famous “5 Second Rule.” Robbins also dives deep into understanding how fear impacts decision-making and offers a step-by-step method for regaining control when anxiety takes hold.

While the book is highly motivational, it also addresses the emotional roots of fear with compassion, encouraging readers to confront their inner dialogue without judgment. Robbins uses science-based strategies to back up her advice, which adds credibility and a sense of security for readers hesitant about self-help guidance.

[Joanne Spence · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although there was a lot of good information to take away, I had a difficult time getting through this one. I really liked the real life examples, but I had a very difficult time connecting. I’m older, retired, and struggling with a couple mental health issues, and had hoped to find something I could relate to, but this wasn’t it. The presentation style was definitely something I enjoyed, though.

[Shaena Walker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had to DNF this book, nothing in it felt relevant to me. Basically listening to a bunch of therapy sessions with people who struggle with major issues like hoarding, imposter syndrome, etc. Not a terrible book and might be good for people that can relate to the struggles but I didn’t find any useful nuggets after getting halfway through and it felt like a waste of my time.

[Dr. T. S. D. · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a counselor, I went into this book with fairly high expectations because I generally enjoy Mel Robbins’ work and often find her motivational ideas practical and empowering. I also appreciated the format of Take Control of Your Life. Listening to the audiobook felt very much like a podcast or coaching session, which made it engaging and easy to follow. The real-life coaching conversations gave the book a conversational, accessible feel that I think many listeners will enjoy.
However, I struggled with an important issue throughout the book. As a mental health professional, it was uncomfortable hearing someone without clinical training repeatedly suggest or imply diagnoses—particularly PTSD—during coaching conversations. Diagnosing mental health conditions requires appropriate education, clinical training, and careful assessment.
To be honest, I also struggle with the broader trend of life coaching where someone can take a short course and then present themselves as if they are functioning as a mental health professional. Coaching can certainly be helpful for motivation and goal-setting, but it is not the same as trained mental health care.
I understand that the intent was likely to help people recognize patterns in their behavior and trauma responses, and I do appreciate the effort to normalize conversations about mental health. But when diagnostic terms are used casually or outside of a clinical context, it can easily lead to misunderstandings about what those conditions actually involve.
That said, I still think the coaching-style format will resonate with many listeners, and the audiobook format especially works well because it feels like listening to a podcast or a series of real sessions. For readers looking for motivational coaching and relatable conversations about overcoming personal obstacles, it may be helpful.
For me, though, the repeated references to diagnosing PTSD made it difficult to fully enjoy the experience. I typically like Mel Robbins and much of her work, but this aspect of the book didn’t sit well with me as a counselor.

[Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not really a book so much as a series of recorded sessions with a number of people whose internal neuroses surrounding fear and their inability to identify their own specific versions of it and how to address it--the manic aimless guy, the stuck perfectionist, the near-hoarder, the chameleon who tries to suit everyone else, the guy whose childhood dyslexia and subsequent coping are following him around, and the woman whose abusive father is still in the way of her relationships with family and men. These coaching sessions are interesting and, while different, elicit similar themes.

The key takeaways are that destructive and stymying behaviors are patterned and repetitive. They won't stop until you recognize them for what they are--usually maladaptive behaviors we've dragged from childhood to the present to deal with embarrassment, rejection, lack of security, etc. And they can't stop until you decide to replace those patterns with healthy ones. In many ways, listening to these sessions, I see bits and pieces of my own live over the last five or six years. I have tried to break a lot of my own maladaptive patterns and replace them with healthy ones. To stop making excuses and take ownership (control, ahem) of my own life and story. And that's the theme here. Nothing to criticize there--we should take and open and honest look at ourselves and live our lives as healthily--mentally and emotionally, in addition to the more common physically--as we can.

If you don't necessarily bond with this author, there are other popularizers and disseminators of this approach out there with (audio) books as well.

[Kerrie Carroll · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars. Mel Robbins consistently delivers books that are packed with solid, realistic, and actionable advice, and Take Control of Your Life is no exception.

This book focuses on the many forms fear takes and how deeply it’s rooted in different areas of our lives. That concept really resonated with me, especially because I’ve been thinking about fear a lot lately in the context of workplace culture and how it shapes behavior, communication, and decision-making.

One of my favorite parts of this book is the format. Instead of a traditional structure, Robbins walks through real coaching sessions with everyday people tackling very relatable challenges. Watching how she helps unpack their issues and trace them back to deeper root causes is incredibly insightful. It’s a reminder that doing this kind of self-reflection on your own is hard, but the book provides a helpful starting point for beginning that work.

Overall, I found this to be a thoughtful and practical read. I’d recommend it to anyone who feels stuck or is trying to better understand the role fear plays in their life, and of course to fans of Mel Robbins in general.

[Karen JH · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book and it got better as it progressed. The case studies aka coaching sessions are interesting and I saw myself reflected in different ways in each of them. Lots of good takeaways and lots to reflect on. There were moments where I felt Mel wasn’t being a true coach as she made a lot of bold statements and drew conclusions on behalf of the client. She sometimes interrupted them. As a trained coach I found this distracting given that coaching based on empowering the client by asking powerful questions and listening to what the client says. It’s client centric directed. Perhaps in the spirit or time Mel had to hurry things along. Overall a good read.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting, but this wasn't really an audiobook - it felt more like a podcast/recorded interviews where the author repeated herself a lot (the idea that you need to tune in with your body was repeated over and over to all the different participants).

That being said, it was very interesting and enjoyable to listen to.

The most interesting section for me was about the opened versus closed mindset in relation to perfectionism. Also the part about reassessing one's relationship to objects as a coping mechanism to lacking control in other areas of life.

[Beka Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing insight and encouragement. I listened to the audible version, and the author does tend to repeat ideas (not in a bad way, in a, "I really want this to make sense to you" way). She gives steps on how to move forward. I would recommend this book for anyone, but definitely for people that want to make some forward movement in their life.

She gives a warning ahead of time, but there's some cussing (she does life coach sessions with people that are talking about some really raw deep things).

[Gabrielle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was curious about this book and decided to give it a try.

And then, got tired of hearing her being too emphatic and angry.

The whole LET THEM situation did not help my impressions either. I am tired of hearing self-help gurus start insisted people listen to them and the is urgent to change. There is an undercurrent of impatience and resentment at how the world is not up to speed on personal improvement.

What we need is patience, compassion, guidance, mercy and love. Not commandment or orders.

I abandoned this book after the second chapter.

Not worth my time

[Nadine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful coaching sessions. Each chapter presented new learnings. It was eye opening to me. I was able to identify certain habits, patterns, mindset in my life. Mel Robbins shared applicable tools to take control of my life. I feel empowered to tackled the challenges in my life. Definitely helped me see things from a different perspective. I recommend this book to anyone who feels lost and uncertain in their current situation.

[Linda Beldava · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cik ļoti man kaitinoši ir likušies visi tie veiksmīgās dzīves sludinātāji, kas kā veiksmes formulu stāsta savu stāstu, kā viņi no nekā ir vienā dienā nolēmuši mainīt dzīvi un tagad ir super veiksmīgi, mēģinot iedvesmot, ka arī jūs visi pārējie tā varat. Viņus visus saista viens punkts - viņu sasniegums ir tas, ka viņi uzrakstījuši grāmatu vai uzstājas ar runām, kā kļūt veiksmīgiem. Kā lai iedvesmojas no tā, kurš pārdod tukšu gaisu? Protams, arī tas ir jāmāk, bet tas nav priekš manis.
Šīs pārdomas manī uzjundīja klausoties šo Melas Robbins grāmatu, kas nepavisam nav tāda. Arī viņa vēlas iedvesmot un iemācīt mūs būt savas dzīves noteicējiem, taču ar vienu atšķirību, viņa dod reālistiskus padomus un mudina meklēt savu ceļu, nevis spīd pati ar savu veiksmi.
Grāmatā viņa "iziet cauri" 6 koučinga sesijām ar saviem klientiem un dod padomus un idejas, balstoties uz šo cilvēku stāstiem, jo neesam jau mēs tik unikāli, gandrīz katrā no stāstiem var atrast kādas līdzības ar savām dzīves situācijām un grūtībām, ko gribas pārvarēt.
Tagad tikai būtu vērtīgi arī pastrādāt pie tā, nevis tikai noklausīties un nolikt plauktiņā. :)

[Esha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book offers a straightforward, actionable approach to overcoming fear and self-doubt. Robbins presents a clear strategy for silencing negative thoughts and building confidence. Her engaging narrative style is backed by practical advice and relatable anecdotes, making complex psychological concepts accessible. This book is an empowering guide for anyone seeking to break free from mental barriers and take charge of their personal and professional lives—a must-read for personal growth.

[Heather Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The advice is good but I often thought Robbins was trying to manipulate or persuade her interviewees stories to fit her narrative. Robbins clearly had an agenda for what she wanted to prove in this book and her proof would have been more credible if her subjects' stories weren't twisted and forced to fit in with her point. I'm in the midst of a job search so I'm hoping some of her advice will help.

[Lottie LeGros · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fabulous. I listened to the audiobook. The one on ones were gripping and so interesting. Mel Robbins ability to listen to what is actually happening and cut through it all to help each subject was simply inspiring. I loved the steps she put into motion to get the subjects to realize what the true issues were and how to move forward in life. I absolutely loved this book. There is also a downloadable workbook on her website!

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really learned so much from these 6 coaching sessions Mel had with actual clients. I related to so much of what was unpacked , got tips for my own life, learned things I hadn’t in years of therapy… something for everyone here truly! Facing and identifying your fears, changing reaction towards fear, discovering where it came from and how to move on from it.

[Danielle Cherek · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always love Mel’s audiobooks when she narrates. She cultivates an environment that makes me feel as though I’m listening to old friends. I learned something out of each of her coaching sessions. I wish there was a little more practice how to/hands on what readers could do for themselves if they found they are put in similar positions.

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this but it felt like an extended podcast more than a book? I still love Mel Robbins, don’t get me wrong, and this book has some really great takeaways, I just feel like it borrowed principles from other books and from her podcast so it didn’t feel like new material. Still a great message though and I enjoyed the listen.