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For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

4.14  ·  Rating details ·  5,718 ratings  ·  430 reviews
Finally--You "Can"Understand Her!
Women: Complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can't seem to figure her out? That was before "For Men Only." Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey
Hardcover, 190 pages
Published May 1st 2006 by Multnomah Books (first published April 3rd 2006)
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♥ Ibrahim ♥
May 09, 2015 rated it did not like it
Shelves: relationships
Most of my intimate friends have always been women. Most of my confidantes have always been from the female gender. I love their friendship. I know them. But this book has often made me feel that women are a bunch of simple-minded, confused, all too emotional creatures. Well, not "my women"! Don't get me wrong. The book has some good points to make and they are good for men to keep in mind, but still women are not as shallow as he makes them to be in that book, and neither are they a bunch of cr ...more
Feb 03, 2009 rated it really liked it
This book is helpful to understanding women. There are two clear ideas that I earned from this book that I haven't gained elsewhere.

1. Women's preoccupations can't just be laid to rest by arguing out their merit. They are like programs open on a computer. You can minimize them but they can't just go away until the anxiety is directly resolved. The little "x" can be closed only when resolved.

2. Women have just as strong a need to be "pursued romantically" as men have being "sexually desired". I s
Robin DeJarnett
Apr 28, 2010 rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2010-read
If you read my review on Ms. Feldhahn's other book, 'For Women Only,' I think you won't be surprised that the same criticism applies here.

This book states up front that the authors' intent is to grossly generalize their findings, and they do. I was hoping for more than just a flip of what was in 'For Women Only' but there wasn't really any new information here - in fact it seemed to lack the depth of the first book.

The first book highlighted more specifics, like how men enjoyed it when their wom
Mar 12, 2009 rated it liked it
It's Ok (ish). Has a few interesting insights, and the statistics seem useful. You have to get over the writing though, it feels like it's written to the lowest common denominator among men. As if their working assumption is men are not capable of reading beyond the 3rd grade level. Meanwhile, the author keeps trying to convince us of his new found authority on the subject via his immersion into the world of women, and, well, it gets old. His authority is the research/statistics, which get don't ...more
Nov 29, 2008 rated it it was amazing
I'm a woman, and I read "For Women Only" first. In fact, I read that book several times, started to apply it, told my boyfriend about it, and then asked him if he'd like to read "For Men Only." He happily agreed. I first read the book (constantly thinking, "You mean, men don't know that!?!") while I also marked how I would have answered the survey questions. My boyfriend has now read this book several times and has started to apply it. He says he loves how I treat him (using information from "Fo ...more
Chip Rodgers
May 04, 2012 rated it it was ok
It's not that this book was bad per se. Almost everything in the book was already pretty obvious to me anyway, with the exception of a maybe two or three interesting insights and ways to articulate particular female concerns. It seems to me that the type of person who would go out of their way to read this book are the ones that don't need it, and the ones that DO need it are the ones that either wouldn't read it, or wouldn't actually practice the advice given, even if they DID read it.

Apr 15, 2017 rated it it was amazing

Read this for a marriage prep course at my fiancee's church, while she read (or listened to the audio version of...) "For Women Only".

Practical, wise, heartfelt... grounded in science and data (which I love) and Scripture (which I love even more), this book is a game-changer.

I've been doing the best I can, and I want to do better... I just didn't know how. A priceless gift. I love my fiancée and I want to be the best possible husband to her I can be...
Aug 31, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: christian
I read For Women Only so I decided to read this as well. My issues with both books are the same. I think far too much time and emphasis was spent on physical appearance and sex. This book very much felt derogatory toward women at points. I definitely won't be recommending my husband read this, as majority of the book was not applicable to my views or feelings on the issues mentioned. ...more
Fuad Alsultan
Sep 23, 2014 rated it really liked it

This is going to be a complete review of the book on a chapter by chapter basis. This book helped a lot to understand my woman. I have never though about women this way before, i guess I should have considered reading such book before. Though, I would not think other books would put it the same way this one did. I am just glad I had the chance to read it.

Chapter 1.
Interesting! I got hooked.

Chapter 2.
If you get together, the deal is never close. Insecurity follows women even after settling dow
Steve Bremner
Jul 29, 2011 rated it really liked it
I still don't understand them. ...more
Chelsea Rivas
Feb 20, 2018 rated it liked it
There is some decent advice in this book, but you'll have to mine for it through the insultingly chummy delivery, Old Sport.

As part of his "good ol' boys" delivery, more than once co-author Jeff Feldhahn used dehumanizing language when referring to both men and women, which was off-putting and unnecessary. My husband is a human being, not a "cromagnon". I am a human being, not an "alien".

Furthermore, throughout the book Feldhahn insists that each husband needs to reassure his wife that she is
May 09, 2013 rated it did not like it
Meh. Only got halfway through before I gave up. Really focuses on the stereotypical woman and how she thinks. Again, couldn't relate whatsoever. ...more
Alen Piralić
Hm, hm, hm, joj, joj, joj ... Pokvariti tako dobru temu ... Ne znam što bih rekao. Ženska publika bolje da ne čita ovaj moj osvrt jer će uslijediti lančano kostriješenje sa tendencijom ka eskalaciji i spaljivanju mene na lomači, ili, u najmanju ruku, kamenovanju ...

Dakle. Nekakav bračni par. Amerikanci, protestanti (ovo ''protestanti'' je jako važno, vjerujete, možda čak ključno). Ono što najprije iritira je činjenica da je - sada vidim tek da je, dok ovo pišem, gore u potpisu samo supruga - ov
J. Alfred
Feb 19, 2012 rated it liked it
About halfway through this book (roughly half an hour into reading this book) I started thinking that it was a very well intentioned, pretty well reseached and weirdly poorly written text-- and I stand by that to some extent. ("Weirdly poorly written": it was clearly within the authors' power to write more impressively/ smoothly, but they decided that it was better to take a totally unsophisticated stance-- there was the textual equivalent of a lot of winking and elbow-nudging going on in here, ...more
Aug 28, 2020 rated it did not like it
NOTE: Long review. Small summary in the end.

The book's first paragraph states:
"Like some guys I know, you might be tempted to skip this introduction and jump right to the sex chapter. And if you’re chuckling right now, it probably means you already did."

Which I found funny because that's exactly what I did.

An important observation is made in the introduction:
"There are exceptions to every rule. Recognize that when I say “most women” appear to think a certain
Jan 30, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
The redeeming fact in this book is that women's minds are like computers with a lot of windows open. We have to be. We have the kids. Jeez. The analogy about the lighter is the perfect example. Men don't see consequences. Great generalization? Not the only one in the book. Taken from questionaires that were simplistic, from the examples given.

The rest of the generalizations are not news. This must be good for people who have little to no experience with working, living, and talking together wit
Konrad Holden
Feb 21, 2019 rated it really liked it
There is one major flaw with this book.

Over the majority of the book, men are presented as the goofy sitcom husband who doesn’t understand how women work. He is the unsophisticated and simple-minded dork who sits reading the newspaper and spilling coffee on himself, making marital blunder after marital blunder (some of which is very true). He’s a nice guy, but a simpleton. If only he knew the better way.

I don’t think the author meant to come off that way.

But I think this book does not emphasiz
Apr 17, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I received some teasing from male friends when they found out I was reading this book, but I make no apologies! This was a great read for anyone--male or female--in a relationship. I first read its counterpart, "For Women Only," which was also incredibly insightful. The fact that these books offer a view into the differences between men and women from a biblical Christian worldview makes them tender, truthful, and encouraging. Here's what I shared with one friend while reading "For Men Only":

Oct 15, 2016 rated it did not like it
Shelves: non-fiction
I really was enjoying this book. I was even sharing insights with my husband and teenage son. But then got to a part in ch 4 "It's Not About You, It's the Hormones". I started the section with, yes it is true that during times during my period, when I'm menstruating, I'm easy to be irritated and super sensitive physically and emotionally. The author talks about how decisions of the woman is effected by her hormone changes. The advice about dealing with your wife when she is "Helga the Horrible" ...more
Michael Foley
Hopefully this book does not "Blow Your Mind", because if it does, you probably didn't know jack squat about women whatsoever. HOWEVER, this book did open my eyes to a few gems of wisdom and give me a big boost of motivation to be a better husband.

His analogy of our minds like a computer desktop was especially profound to me. Stating that men tend to handle tasks/feelings one window at a time, and close the window before moving on to the next thing. Women have several windows open at once, all
Lisa Manske
Very stereotypical advice. More gender-role thinking. As a woman who definitely would choose respect over love (if I had to choose-- in truth, I don't think that marital love can exist without respect) hardly any of this book applied to me and my marriage. Any insight my husband got from this book came from our discussions about how the author's conclusions don't apply to me. So, like anything, don't take it too seriously if it doesn't apply to you. And please don't try to change yourself based ...more
Skylar Burris
Apr 17, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: marriage
I read this just to make sure my husband was getting reliable information when he read it...with very few exceptions, I definitely think he did get good information. I think any young Christian couple who gets married should be given a copy of these For Men Only / For Women Only books in premarital counseling and should re-read them every 2-3 years. (The book is from a Christian perspective, but the Christian element is not over-the-top; it would be useful for many non-Christian readers too.) Th ...more
Oct 24, 2020 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I did not actually finish reading this because it ticked me off so much. All of the advice seemed--to me--geared towards pandering to and excusing bad behavior, rather than actually dealing with valid issues. Total rubbish.
Nov 27, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: challies-2017
I chose this as a "book targeted at the other gender" for Tim Challies' 2017 reading challenge. I listened to a Christianaudio version that was available on Hoopla. The book was read by Jeff Feldhahn, who co-authored. (I always enjoy audio books that are read by the author.) It is a short book - under 3.5 hours' listening time.

I think the points made by the author are pretty much spot on for explaining how most women think and why we react as we do, and I found myself nodding in agreement many t
Jonathan Choi
Feb 20, 2021 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Easy to read with some great insights. Humorous but based off of real studies of how most men and women communicate. Good reminders and helpful steps to take to aid in communication and understanding your wife/SO. Nothing it in seems groundbreaking or even like new information, but having it presented in this format and from the perspective of a husband and a wife is helpful and immediately applicable.
Sep 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Wonderfully written for us plain average men who just want to love and serve our wives in a better way while not always knowing how to do that exactly. Some stuff was straightforward and some stuff was completely mind-blowing, and I recommend this for men who are struggling to communicate or understand their woman. Together with prayer and bible study, this book is a great resource and tool to help relationships and marriage flourish and thrive as God meant it to initially.
BookishandBliss April
Jul 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I read this, not just to see what my husband would be reading, but we decided to trade these books and make notes in them for the other about what was important directly to us. We highlighted, wrote, and enjoyed both of our copies. Now it is my turn to read For Women Only but definitely enjoyed this one!
Brandon Vaughan
Aug 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
With the companion book,”For Women Only”, this is a great marriage building tool. My wife and I did it together and loved it.
Megan Miller
Aug 21, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
For real, we should all be reading these as single young people and considering them as we all hope to be married eventually. Scripture teaches us to put the needs of others before our own and these books are helpful in doing just that. Giving the tools to understand what that even means, when men and women are so different. Lol
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Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author and popular speaker. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, h ...more

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