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The Amazing Development of Men: Every Man's Journey from Knight to Prince to King
Why do men do what they do? This CD Set will help you understand their behavior and give you a new perspective so you can see men in a new way. -Understand everything from workaholics to mid-life crisis -Become more effective in choosing suitable mates -Have more love and harmony -Respond well to the changes in men - including fathers, sons, husbands, men at work and romantic interests This presentation is fast-paced, intriguing, and immediately useful for single and married women of all ages.
Audio CD
First published January 1, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
November 29, 2022
This is an audiobook in which the author speaks about her philosophy of the major emotional developmental stages that men go through. She seems to have a good handle on her ideas and is well spoken and relatable. I liked her voice. I appreciated that this book is not written in fairy tale or story form as I understand her other books are.
It’s definitely for conventional folks in heterosexual relationships and is highly generalized. She categorizes male behavior into 3 or 4 main types. It is mostly about adult males, but there is some interesting ideas about older boys too. This is not a parenting book. Many of her observations felt very helpful to me as I contemplated the behavior and attitudes of my male partner through the years.
There’s no science or citations here. Armstrong does include the voices of some men from each category relating their feelings about what they’ve learned in her seminars. I thought her observations had a lot of truth in them. This book gave me a lot to think about.
V - Audible
It’s definitely for conventional folks in heterosexual relationships and is highly generalized. She categorizes male behavior into 3 or 4 main types. It is mostly about adult males, but there is some interesting ideas about older boys too. This is not a parenting book. Many of her observations felt very helpful to me as I contemplated the behavior and attitudes of my male partner through the years.
There’s no science or citations here. Armstrong does include the voices of some men from each category relating their feelings about what they’ve learned in her seminars. I thought her observations had a lot of truth in them. This book gave me a lot to think about.
V - Audible
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October 31, 2019I understand why some men weep when they listen to this: being seen for the first time by a woman is validating. Wow. Never in my life has a woman so accurately described my experience as a man.
She takes us on an archetypal journey from a male's birth to his final years. The stages and transitions are explained such that men, including me, can nod their heads and say, "Oh, of course! THAT'S what I was going through!" And I suspect women will see men's inscrutable behaviors as understandable. I recommend both men and women listen to this, and couples as well. It will promote understanding between you that allays the friction arising from inherent differences between the sexes. And it will recast those differences as wonderful, complementary things to celebrate, not inroads for artifice or tools of one-upsmanship.
Her delivery is easy to listen to and peppered with her laugh. Great audio book. Consider the companion by her, Understanding Women: Unlock the Mystery.
She takes us on an archetypal journey from a male's birth to his final years. The stages and transitions are explained such that men, including me, can nod their heads and say, "Oh, of course! THAT'S what I was going through!" And I suspect women will see men's inscrutable behaviors as understandable. I recommend both men and women listen to this, and couples as well. It will promote understanding between you that allays the friction arising from inherent differences between the sexes. And it will recast those differences as wonderful, complementary things to celebrate, not inroads for artifice or tools of one-upsmanship.
Her delivery is easy to listen to and peppered with her laugh. Great audio book. Consider the companion by her, Understanding Women: Unlock the Mystery.
May 28, 2015
I thought this book was excellent, because it gave me great insight into the stages of a man's life, and explain things like why my father worked so much growing up, and why I'm compelled to seek adventure and to build my career. It was cathartic because I hadn't understood my father's need to work so much when I was a child, but now I understand it much better which enables me to stop taking it personally. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand how men tick, and how to communicate with men with high effectiveness.
March 11, 2024
AHG I know this book has such good reviews and I feel like I’m being closed minded. But on first impression I felt like this book was very general and vague, and applied to mainly traditional heterosexual men. After talking with different men in my life at the different stages I’ve realized that a lot of things she says don’t seem to be true. That may be due to my lack of understanding?
I also found a lot of things to be rather patriarchal. And I think I struggled listening to this because so many things I HATED to hear. Such as how young men blame attractive women for how they make them feel (horny) because they think they know what they are doing to them. That made me actually livid. Or how you can’t blame princes for forgetting your birthday because they have too many things going on in their life, they just can’t remember all the details of yours.
I think once I finish understanding women I will really solidify my opinion about this audiobook because I don’t know really if she’s right or wrong because I’m not a man. I also really struggle with the fact that she doesn’t have a PHD and is not conducting actual scientific studies, it’s just her experiences through interviews. I question the diversity in men she has interviewed. Anyways I think I need to relisten to this and offer a new opinion after I know more about her and her methods and how I relate to understanding women but these are my thoughts immediately after finishing this.
I also found a lot of things to be rather patriarchal. And I think I struggled listening to this because so many things I HATED to hear. Such as how young men blame attractive women for how they make them feel (horny) because they think they know what they are doing to them. That made me actually livid. Or how you can’t blame princes for forgetting your birthday because they have too many things going on in their life, they just can’t remember all the details of yours.
I think once I finish understanding women I will really solidify my opinion about this audiobook because I don’t know really if she’s right or wrong because I’m not a man. I also really struggle with the fact that she doesn’t have a PHD and is not conducting actual scientific studies, it’s just her experiences through interviews. I question the diversity in men she has interviewed. Anyways I think I need to relisten to this and offer a new opinion after I know more about her and her methods and how I relate to understanding women but these are my thoughts immediately after finishing this.
February 19, 2019
First, it is not truly about males from birth to seniority. It focuses on adult males, so if you are trying to understand your young son, forget it.
Second, a lot of it feels like a plug for her workshops. There isn't much useful information actually included here.
Third, once you hit track two, hope you don't have to stop because it is the linger track and it has no breaks.
Fourth, she says she is a feminist but refers to having a career as masculinizing yourself. The whole thing is about changing for a man and nothing is included about how to use this "understanding" to help your partner understand or meet your needs, though supposedly that info is in her expensive workshop.
My advice: save your money and get a real book.
Second, a lot of it feels like a plug for her workshops. There isn't much useful information actually included here.
Third, once you hit track two, hope you don't have to stop because it is the linger track and it has no breaks.
Fourth, she says she is a feminist but refers to having a career as masculinizing yourself. The whole thing is about changing for a man and nothing is included about how to use this "understanding" to help your partner understand or meet your needs, though supposedly that info is in her expensive workshop.
My advice: save your money and get a real book.
June 25, 2022
I’ve listened to this no less than 4 times (refreshers are always good). As a mom, wife, sister, and daughter this revealed so much about the men in my life to me. I believe that any woman who will listen to this with an open heart and in a place of learning will benefit from the info. The things I’ve learned from this has greatly helped my marriage and given me much more patience with my son. I highly recommend also listening to Understanding Women to round out all of the learning.
February 26, 2019
Superb. I have to give this 5-stars, as I learned so much about MYSELF! How refreshing to hear a female researcher 'stick up' for men! Yes, we are misunderstood (to an extent) and yes, we are judged (to a large extent) by female standards of behaviour and comportment. Aimed at women, this audio CD tries to help women understand that men are not just 'hairy women' ie. we don't think like women, evolution has not programmed our brains like women's brains; and therefore we do not instinctively behave like women. So much conflict and unhappiness arises from the fact that women expect men to naturally think like women (eg. remember details like birthdays, etc) - and then when men don't, it is interpreted to be a lack of love. Anyway, this book was brilliant; I now understand so much more about myself and particularly about the developmental stage I'm at in my life currently. Highly recommended for all men and women!
December 30, 2024
Incredible book. Life changing for both men & women.
Audible book is probably better than book because it cuts away to real men & their testimonies. It is rare to get an update to your world model as big as the update I got from reading this book.
Author's main contention is that men, like women, have biological & spiritual stages they go through in their life, and they follow common patterns. By recognizing this, you can learn how to communicate better from both from inside the male journey, and from outside the male journey.
Super cool to see what awaits me & being able to share this model with others who may be frustrated by my behavior, or other men's behavior.
Audible book is probably better than book because it cuts away to real men & their testimonies. It is rare to get an update to your world model as big as the update I got from reading this book.
Author's main contention is that men, like women, have biological & spiritual stages they go through in their life, and they follow common patterns. By recognizing this, you can learn how to communicate better from both from inside the male journey, and from outside the male journey.
Super cool to see what awaits me & being able to share this model with others who may be frustrated by my behavior, or other men's behavior.
July 27, 2018
Interesting read and seems to align with my observations - and I disagree with the author's assumptions that "they just can't help it" when it comes to allowing behavior that is, in my opinion, not acceptable. I believe a page, a knight, a prince are all capable to realizing the world doesn't remove around them and we are not helping them grow to kings, if we do not expect awareness, kindness and maturity. Ironic how the author chose to marry a king, when she finds the behavior of the other stages "cute".
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 12, 2023
I wish I had understood more of this earlier in my life. It applies to dating, marriage, and raising sons, and it's NOT intuitive to women. The stages of development that men go through are not the same as women. Weird, but true. Hormones and culture have a much bigger impact on people than we realize. We're equal, but not the same, and it's worth understanding how each sex develops emotionally and mentally.
December 13, 2022
Listened to this book / tape on audio. It was very interesting and insightful to the way men work and operate. I wouldn’t say it’s the end all be all to understanding and operating in a relationship with men but very insightful and helpful.
March 2, 2023
I found this overly simplistic, and I also could not relate to much of the generalizations made about women. It received so many good reviews though! Would love to hear from more men on if they find the ideas in the book accurate.
January 25, 2019
Enjoyable. I don’t know that I agree with absolutely everything said, but I do agree with most of it, and what I don’t agree with, I understand where the author comes from.
January 2, 2020
Damn! this book helped a lot to clarify many things and is definitely sooooo on point, highly recommended read for both men and women, this will save you a lot of headaches.
August 23, 2020
Interesting book. A lot of information. I listened on audible.
April 1, 2021
This should be required reading for every girl....EVER. And wouldn't hurt the guys to read it. In fact, if you are in a relationship and struggling, best read this book.
June 24, 2021
Great intro, would've loved more depth
May 17, 2022
it is mainly based on anecdotal evidence and also transport a very traditional view of man and women. I didn't like it.
August 15, 2022
AMAZING THERAPY HOMEWORK - dating/relational game changer -ladies and gents. I read her book Understanding Women last month. Both genders need to read all by Allison Armstrong
August 7, 2023
Very illuminating and gave a new a depth of understanding to men in my life. Biggest takeaway, it's not personal.
January 1, 2024
I love all of Alison's books. Women really need to hear over women explain these things so we actually learn how to treat men!
February 4, 2024
A must read for women and men.
April 26, 2024
Some good nuggets. Some meh.
November 24, 2024
Love Alison's audiobooks, always learn so much.
May 23, 2020
This book really helped me understand so much about my man and men in general. I've listened to the "middle prince" segment so many times and really appreciate her insights. It has helped me have more empathy for my guy and understand why he works so hard, and this understanding has definitely improved our relationship.
January 2, 2024
HIGHLIGHTS - 2nd Edition
1. NOT READY:
- “I’m not ready” is a state of being.
Being ready has nothing to do with/ the W (not personal).
- “Oh, you’re not ready. Can you help me understand what you would need to be ready?” (Stop talking and wait wait wait. He is in deep thinking. Don’t rephrase or offer multiple choice).
- “What do you need to accomplish first before you know you’re ready?”
2. PAIGE (birth to knighthood)
- Allow them to be frustrated in the process
- test their abilities
- Don’t expect them to behave like girls.
- Don’t suppress them
- Only participate in what they can win.
- TIP: Tell boy exactly what actions will have him be successful in this situation + offer reward = “winning”
- Let them provide because they need to be a hero and contribute.
Every man still has a knight inside of them.
- how much adventure does he need?
- Where does he get it from?
- What does it provide for him?
- Support his adventure. Who he gets to be because of the adventure.
- Approval and disapproval never control a man’s behavior.
- Don’t expect knights to stay home. Compelled to go out into the world and experience it.
- Home is a pit stop: rest and refueling.
- Feed him and give him rides.
Wrong thinking: W believes getting married means she is entitled to all of his time and attention.
Problem: Women don’t get married to the “right person”, they marry at the “right TIME.”
M: Being bored “feels like dying slow.”
- worthy of attention because he is single-focus and does one thing at a time.
3. KNIGHT: (Start of puberty)
- adventures. Fun. Most testosterone.
- Physical indicators are visual. Live in the present.
- loyalty kicks in w/ friends (critical)
4 PRINCE (phases: early- middle-late):
- compelled to build and establish
Early Prince (late 20s & 30s)
- Where he is going to stake out a territory.
- pick a career or work they engage themselves.
- Conserve calories: don’t do anything until
5. MIDDLE PRINCE: (10-12 years long)
- build something together
- they are painfully aware of what they can and can’t provide.
6. LATE PRINCE (1 year)
- state of grace and confirmed
- Interested in other parts of life
- Plagued by questions and doubts
7. TUNNEL (6 months- 3 years long, Prince to king)
- Descent into darkness
- Certainty to Less certain he is about himself.
- CRISIS of self
- think they are going crazy.
- Predictable transition.
- Courage to come out of the table.
- Coming out of the tunnel is a commitment to who he is vs. who he is NOT.
- Taking stock of who I am becoming and does he want that?
- Letting go of (being a rock star, astronaut)
- Sacred time in a man’s life
- What is important to ME?
- “crisis” for the people around a man in a tunnel.
- has nothing to commit with
- Has to figure out on his own
- alternative: Cancel tunnel to start 2nd career of his real passion that he can no longer ignore.
8. Women need a connection to feeling “safe”. She has to adapt to where he is at. Be a safe space for him. Calm yourself down, don’t panic. Just listen to what he is wondering about. Practice being his friend. Be there for him. Set aside concerns about how this is going to impact you. Can’t get a commitment from him. Don’t be disrespectful. Gain insight into who he is as a man.
- He needs time alone
- Women need to get ready to be a Queen.
- Develop qualities of the Queen.
9. NEW KINGS:
- this is who I am - deal with it!
- Kind doesn’t put up with shit.
- Crystallized sense of self.
- Will not do things that aren’t aligned with a sense of self. Accommodating and adapting to loved ones.
- Abundance of “opinions”, which are formed by who he is, what he values, and information he has validated and trusts.
- Will honor and defend his opinion, which is an expression of self.
- A man’s opinions are important to him as a woman’s feelings are important to her.
- Honors option w/ actions
- I’ve decided you need this, here it is.
10. ELDERS (still a King):
- All ambition disappears. Nothing left to prove.
- focuses on contribution
- stature of a king + if they ask, I will provide it.
- Approach: Allows others to discover information on their own. Provoke thought and thoughtfulness
- Available for support.
- humble
1. NOT READY:
- “I’m not ready” is a state of being.
Being ready has nothing to do with/ the W (not personal).
- “Oh, you’re not ready. Can you help me understand what you would need to be ready?” (Stop talking and wait wait wait. He is in deep thinking. Don’t rephrase or offer multiple choice).
- “What do you need to accomplish first before you know you’re ready?”
2. PAIGE (birth to knighthood)
- Allow them to be frustrated in the process
- test their abilities
- Don’t expect them to behave like girls.
- Don’t suppress them
- Only participate in what they can win.
- TIP: Tell boy exactly what actions will have him be successful in this situation + offer reward = “winning”
- Let them provide because they need to be a hero and contribute.
Every man still has a knight inside of them.
- how much adventure does he need?
- Where does he get it from?
- What does it provide for him?
- Support his adventure. Who he gets to be because of the adventure.
- Approval and disapproval never control a man’s behavior.
- Don’t expect knights to stay home. Compelled to go out into the world and experience it.
- Home is a pit stop: rest and refueling.
- Feed him and give him rides.
Wrong thinking: W believes getting married means she is entitled to all of his time and attention.
Problem: Women don’t get married to the “right person”, they marry at the “right TIME.”
M: Being bored “feels like dying slow.”
- worthy of attention because he is single-focus and does one thing at a time.
3. KNIGHT: (Start of puberty)
- adventures. Fun. Most testosterone.
- Physical indicators are visual. Live in the present.
- loyalty kicks in w/ friends (critical)
4 PRINCE (phases: early- middle-late):
- compelled to build and establish
Early Prince (late 20s & 30s)
- Where he is going to stake out a territory.
- pick a career or work they engage themselves.
- Conserve calories: don’t do anything until
5. MIDDLE PRINCE: (10-12 years long)
- build something together
- they are painfully aware of what they can and can’t provide.
6. LATE PRINCE (1 year)
- state of grace and confirmed
- Interested in other parts of life
- Plagued by questions and doubts
7. TUNNEL (6 months- 3 years long, Prince to king)
- Descent into darkness
- Certainty to Less certain he is about himself.
- CRISIS of self
- think they are going crazy.
- Predictable transition.
- Courage to come out of the table.
- Coming out of the tunnel is a commitment to who he is vs. who he is NOT.
- Taking stock of who I am becoming and does he want that?
- Letting go of (being a rock star, astronaut)
- Sacred time in a man’s life
- What is important to ME?
- “crisis” for the people around a man in a tunnel.
- has nothing to commit with
- Has to figure out on his own
- alternative: Cancel tunnel to start 2nd career of his real passion that he can no longer ignore.
8. Women need a connection to feeling “safe”. She has to adapt to where he is at. Be a safe space for him. Calm yourself down, don’t panic. Just listen to what he is wondering about. Practice being his friend. Be there for him. Set aside concerns about how this is going to impact you. Can’t get a commitment from him. Don’t be disrespectful. Gain insight into who he is as a man.
- He needs time alone
- Women need to get ready to be a Queen.
- Develop qualities of the Queen.
9. NEW KINGS:
- this is who I am - deal with it!
- Kind doesn’t put up with shit.
- Crystallized sense of self.
- Will not do things that aren’t aligned with a sense of self. Accommodating and adapting to loved ones.
- Abundance of “opinions”, which are formed by who he is, what he values, and information he has validated and trusts.
- Will honor and defend his opinion, which is an expression of self.
- A man’s opinions are important to him as a woman’s feelings are important to her.
- Honors option w/ actions
- I’ve decided you need this, here it is.
10. ELDERS (still a King):
- All ambition disappears. Nothing left to prove.
- focuses on contribution
- stature of a king + if they ask, I will provide it.
- Approach: Allows others to discover information on their own. Provoke thought and thoughtfulness
- Available for support.
- humble
February 4, 2009
Alison Armstrong describes the stages a man goes thru, and she delineates what he is trying to accomplish in each stage. Then she gives clues as to how a woman can best relate to her husband/boyfriend according to the stage he is in. I found this information to be accurate and very practical.
June 1, 2015
Least satisfying of Alison's audios so far. Felt like listening to lists of characteristics. I'm not much enamored of the squire/knight/prince/king metaphor. Still some good info but I would recommend the audio Understanding Women and the In Sync with the Opposite Sex as much better experiences.
March 20, 2013
Very insightful but left me wanting to know much much more detail.
August 23, 2016
Amazing! Every woman (and man) NEEDS to read this book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews