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The Enneagram of Belonging: A Compassionate Journey of Self-Acceptance
For the Enneagram enthusiast looking to deepen their transformation, The Enneagram of Belonging offers an enlightening, enriching path forward. Many have discovered the Enneagram to be a powerful tool for self-understanding, yet knowing ourselves doesn't necessarily mean we accept ourselves. Most of us tend to curate the personality of our leading with the traits we perceive as positive, and sidelining the traits that cause us shame. But what if it all belonged? Rather than furthering our own fragmentation, what if we dared to make peace with the whole of who we are with bold compassion? The Enneagram of Belonging is your guide to this essential journey. While most contemporary Enneagram books stop at the descriptions of the nine types, Enneagram teacher and The Sacred Enneagram bestselling author Chris Heuertz uncovers the missing link in our journey of living into our true radical self-compassion that can bring us back to belonging. Rather than get stuck on stereotypes or curated personality, Heuertz proposes we develop an honest relationship with our type, confronting our "inner dragons," practicing self-compassion, and thereby coming to fully belong to ourselves--and, ultimately, to love itself. In this in-depth examination of the Enneagram of Personality, you will As a masterful mapmaker and trailblazer of grace, Heuertz casts a vision for how we can create a better world. The truth is how we treat ourselves is how we treat others, so let's start with compassion, and let this outflow into our relationships, communities, and world.
288 pages, Paperback
First published May 19, 2020
430 people are currently reading
3129 people want to read
About the author
Christopher L. Heuertz
22 books80 followersChristopher L. Heuertz is an activist, author, visionary and public speaker, who has traveled with his wife, Phileena, through nearly seventy countries working with the most vulnerable of the world’s poor. Chris has led the Word Made Flesh community as the International Executive Director since 1996. He and Phileena reside in Omaha, Nebraska.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews
June 4, 2020
I would not recommend this book for people who are just diving into the Enneagram. I'd say I'm fairly Enneagram literate and there was a lot of information in this book I could unpack, but didn't have the desire or energy to work through. That's not the book's fault, I just think at times it got too scholarly at times when I was looking for something a bit more practical, if that makes sense. Perhaps reading the companion workbook and doing the work of unpacking all the information in this would be more impactful. Though realistically, I think I'm Enneagram-ed out for now, so will likely not take that route.
June 6, 2020
Definitely five stars plus.
Here's a few reasons this book stands above others:
* So many enneagram books regurgitate the same basic descriptions. Very few have original content that push the discussion forward. This book contains section after section of insightful, fresh wisdom.
* The enneagram has become a fad topic with a lot of silly stuff being said about it. This author has the track record and the big picture view to be able to untangle some of that mess.
* The structure and content of Heuertz books are not to slap a quick or easy label on you, but rather to invite you into actual, meaningful spiritual formation. The author's heart is in the right place and he guides us through the material like a caring mentor
* He suggests topics that have not been given a lot of attention yet (to inspire further reflection and study)
* His own likeable personality shines through! Everything from his time as a social activist to tying one section to stories of his dog Basil. Very enjoyable.
I will have to re-read this book a few times for some of the theories to sink in deeper. Whatever Heuertz writes next, consider my copy pre-ordered. :-D
Here's a few reasons this book stands above others:
* So many enneagram books regurgitate the same basic descriptions. Very few have original content that push the discussion forward. This book contains section after section of insightful, fresh wisdom.
* The enneagram has become a fad topic with a lot of silly stuff being said about it. This author has the track record and the big picture view to be able to untangle some of that mess.
* The structure and content of Heuertz books are not to slap a quick or easy label on you, but rather to invite you into actual, meaningful spiritual formation. The author's heart is in the right place and he guides us through the material like a caring mentor
* He suggests topics that have not been given a lot of attention yet (to inspire further reflection and study)
* His own likeable personality shines through! Everything from his time as a social activist to tying one section to stories of his dog Basil. Very enjoyable.
I will have to re-read this book a few times for some of the theories to sink in deeper. Whatever Heuertz writes next, consider my copy pre-ordered. :-D
Want to read
May 19, 2020An enneagram book with an intro by Brene Brown? I never even dared to dream ... must read soon!
August 13, 2020
Let me start by saying that The Sacred Enneagram is one of my favorite books, and I love the way Chris unpacks the enneagram in general. But this book...just didn’t hit the mark. (Side note, I was about halfway through this when I read the article about Chris’s spiritual abuse. I was already not enjoying this as much as Sacred Enneagram, and finding out about the abuse definitely didn’t help, but I still wanted to finish). Overall, it felt a lot less biblical and a lot more new agey than Sacred Enneagram. I wish he spoke more on sin and the human condition and didn’t paint everything in such a positive light. I give this a 3/5 because there were some things that rang true for me and my type, especially the last chapter on subtypes. But nothing like Sacred Enneagram, which I highlighted almost every sentence of.
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July 28, 2020Update: I was just made aware that last month Christopher Heuertz was accused of "spiritual and psychological abuse" by 33 individuals last month. The behavior in question took place over a long period of time and the accusations seem well-substantiated, and was reported by Christianity Today (here). This is saddening, obviously, and worth taking seriously. I'm removing my rating from the book and moving my review within spoiler tags. What I wrote isn't factually invalided by the news, it's proper to hold a book to a greater level of scrutiny when there are accusations of abuse by the author, even more so when the topic is spiritual development.
Further update (7/28/20): Gravity has posted the results of a third-party investigation here. The results are worth a careful reading; it clarifies some parts of the account, both good and bad, and frustratingly, leaves some questions unanswered.
Further update (7/28/20): Gravity has posted the results of a third-party investigation here. The results are worth a careful reading; it clarifies some parts of the account, both good and bad, and frustratingly, leaves some questions unanswered.
June 16, 2020
Really gets into the ennea-weeds!
Parts of this book could be really valuable for those who have done a deep dive into the enneagram — but be prepared to really sit with Heurtz’s concepts & work thru them. Many times I found myself lost, trying to figure out what he was actually talking about. More concrete examples would’ve been helpful in the more esoteric sections (intros specifically). I definitely would NOT read this if you don’t know your type!
Parts of this book could be really valuable for those who have done a deep dive into the enneagram — but be prepared to really sit with Heurtz’s concepts & work thru them. Many times I found myself lost, trying to figure out what he was actually talking about. More concrete examples would’ve been helpful in the more esoteric sections (intros specifically). I definitely would NOT read this if you don’t know your type!
June 2, 2020
Chris has a much more nuanced approach to the Enneagram than other authors out there. Presenting more than mere caricatures of personality, this follow up book to the Sacred Enneagram explores important aspects of our intelligence that often go unnoticed and helped me explore who I am in deep ways.
July 1, 2020
Whoops. Made the mistake of diving into Enneagram with this book. There’s quite a bit of discourse on prevailing Enneagram theories in here that weren’t very useful to me. However, the number-specific descriptions and elements were eerily spot on. I’m planning to read his first book and grab the workbook next.
March 15, 2022
This book was a bunch of pseudo spiritual mumbo-jumbo that I could not even follow. It’s weird, because I liked his other enneagram book. DNF.
June 11, 2020
I really liked this book and how it takes on a more nuanced view of the Enneagram as a tool for self-acceptance, rather than simply personal growth. The only heads-up I’d give is that it’s pretty deep and philosophical. That’s a good thing AND I’m going to have to re-read it to make sure I understand everything :) I also got the workbook and would recommend that for further processing.
July 20, 2021
Not a beginner Enneagram book, so keep that in mind. A descriptive list of 9 profiles this is not.
I don’t think I’ve ever read a book with so much lingo. This must be what anatomy class feels like. You have to learn the definition of X, and Y, and then discuss how they react to form Zt6h%Q#!...
I appreciate him outlining the different theories (this guy taught this, another common view is this). I find that kind of thing super helpful, but it’s going to require a second reading to grasp all the terms, much less how they influence each other. Maybe I needed a whiteboard.
I’ve gotten bored with other Enneagram books, so this review isn’t necessarily a complaint, just a heads up. I don’t think there’s anything he could have done differently though. You can’t really talk about the importance of a femoral artery without knowing what a femoral artery is called.
His writing style is not the most accessible. It’s a book that requires focused attention and few distractions.
Update:
After reading most of his other book, I’ve had it with terms. The tables with “Holy Virtues” and yada yada… honestly sounds like he’s just trying to put his own spin on things instead of using the more mainstream verbiage. Of course, it is “the Sacred Enneagram” so perhaps I should have looked for something like “the down-to-earth Enneagram.” It just feels like he’s over complicating things to sound sophisticated. It doesn’t help that some scandal has come out about him in the last year and I no longer have any desire to read a thing he’s written.
I don’t think I’ve ever read a book with so much lingo. This must be what anatomy class feels like. You have to learn the definition of X, and Y, and then discuss how they react to form Zt6h%Q#!...
I appreciate him outlining the different theories (this guy taught this, another common view is this). I find that kind of thing super helpful, but it’s going to require a second reading to grasp all the terms, much less how they influence each other. Maybe I needed a whiteboard.
I’ve gotten bored with other Enneagram books, so this review isn’t necessarily a complaint, just a heads up. I don’t think there’s anything he could have done differently though. You can’t really talk about the importance of a femoral artery without knowing what a femoral artery is called.
His writing style is not the most accessible. It’s a book that requires focused attention and few distractions.
Update:
After reading most of his other book, I’ve had it with terms. The tables with “Holy Virtues” and yada yada… honestly sounds like he’s just trying to put his own spin on things instead of using the more mainstream verbiage. Of course, it is “the Sacred Enneagram” so perhaps I should have looked for something like “the down-to-earth Enneagram.” It just feels like he’s over complicating things to sound sophisticated. It doesn’t help that some scandal has come out about him in the last year and I no longer have any desire to read a thing he’s written.
June 15, 2021
You have to be REALLY into the Enneagram to make it through this book. Very in the ennea-weeds but of course, I was on board. What I like most about Heuertz's understanding of the tool is his compassion and deep appreciation for each type, and refusal to stereotype, minimize or tease. This book helped me understand how he got to that orientation and helps me see how I can keep walking in that direction. This quote is long but kind of sums up the book for me:
"What the general population wants is an accessible Enneagram that describes quirks and caricatures of individuality plotted against temperaments and dispositions. But what we need is a map showing us how to knit together the fragments of our identities that we've allowed to lay claim to the whole of who we think we are. What we are are desperately yearning for is an Enneagram of Belonging, pointing us back to an integrated experience of radical self-acceptance. The Enneagram backfires entirely when we use it to box ourselves or others in. Rather, when we practice radical self-acceptance, we find our path to personal growth." (p. 47)
It reminds me of the famous Carol Rogers quote: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I begin to change."
"What the general population wants is an accessible Enneagram that describes quirks and caricatures of individuality plotted against temperaments and dispositions. But what we need is a map showing us how to knit together the fragments of our identities that we've allowed to lay claim to the whole of who we think we are. What we are are desperately yearning for is an Enneagram of Belonging, pointing us back to an integrated experience of radical self-acceptance. The Enneagram backfires entirely when we use it to box ourselves or others in. Rather, when we practice radical self-acceptance, we find our path to personal growth." (p. 47)
It reminds me of the famous Carol Rogers quote: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I begin to change."
May 28, 2020
I loved the way Chris gives us a detailed history of the enneagram and pointedly calls out those in certain communities who are hijacking it, trying to make it credible by “rubbing a little Bible on it”. It’s so much bigger, deeper, truer than that. He goes back to the roots, exploring all its facets in great depth. I particularly liked his insights into the sub-types. It’s full of great info and makes it clear that your number is only a starting place and the enneagram is a journey to unearth your true self, your essence, in a loving a grace-filled way. You have to love and accept yourself before you can do that for others.
June 23, 2020
Great book, but pretty dense. Takes a lot of focus to unpack.
January 16, 2023
After reading this book, I realize that all the other Enneagram books I have read previously have been introductions. In this book, Heuertz provides an overview of the complexity of the Enneagram that I did not know existed. He explores how the three intelligence centers combine to form our types, the virtue and passion of each type, the social, sexual, and self-preservation sub-types, and much more. This book basically helped me to realize how much I do not know about the Enneagram. It also gave me a greater appreciation for how thoroughly this model has been thought out. I will definitely need to READ it next time as I feel that I missed a lot LISTENING to it, given the technical nature of the book. I do wish Heuertz had provided more stories and personal examples to help illustrate the points he was making.
In the introduction, Heuertz said that his goal was to write this book so that all faith traditions would be able to engage it to some degree. He absolutely succeeded in this. In fact, if I had not read the introduction, I would not have guessed that he was a Christian, indeed, I would have thought that he was a bit antagonistic towards Christians. I was disappointed by this. It is sad to me when an author cannot champion their own viewpoint and belief system. I think one can both write from a viewpoint and still allow space for others to disagree and, at the same time, find something to take away.
Further, Heuertz overly emphasized self-acceptance and tried to remove all conceptions of sin from the Enneagram. I believe this is a loss. The seven deadly sins developed by the Desert Fathers provided an important component to the development of the Enneagram, and writing them out of it weakens the helpfulness of the Enneagram. If we are all honest, we know that we have sinful habits and patterns. That does not mean that we cannot approach those parts of us with care and compassion! At the same time, we do have to wrestle with the reality of the sin in our lives and the destruction it causes our selves, those around us, and the world we live in.
Books that I have read that are in conversation with this one: The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth, Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self
In the introduction, Heuertz said that his goal was to write this book so that all faith traditions would be able to engage it to some degree. He absolutely succeeded in this. In fact, if I had not read the introduction, I would not have guessed that he was a Christian, indeed, I would have thought that he was a bit antagonistic towards Christians. I was disappointed by this. It is sad to me when an author cannot champion their own viewpoint and belief system. I think one can both write from a viewpoint and still allow space for others to disagree and, at the same time, find something to take away.
Further, Heuertz overly emphasized self-acceptance and tried to remove all conceptions of sin from the Enneagram. I believe this is a loss. The seven deadly sins developed by the Desert Fathers provided an important component to the development of the Enneagram, and writing them out of it weakens the helpfulness of the Enneagram. If we are all honest, we know that we have sinful habits and patterns. That does not mean that we cannot approach those parts of us with care and compassion! At the same time, we do have to wrestle with the reality of the sin in our lives and the destruction it causes our selves, those around us, and the world we live in.
Books that I have read that are in conversation with this one: The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth, Self to Lose, Self to Find: Using the Enneagram to Uncover Your True, God-Gifted Self
October 27, 2021
So many great nuggets of wisdom in here that I know I just scratched the surface on my first read-through. A few take-aways--belonging comes first, and all the rest follow--behaviour, beliefs, becoming who we were meant to be. Any group that sets you up the other way where you have to earn your belonging through belief and behaviour will never let you experience the transformation that you seek. Another: the enneagram isn't my excuse for the way I am. The enneagram is a tool for my inner work that assists me in spiritual development. And if it's not helping me, then I need to move on to something that will.
August 13, 2022
Would maybe give it a 2.5 star rating. There were sections I really enjoyed especially the Loving Kindness Meditations. The organization of the book was very poor and random side stories were distracting and didn't add to the message. I really wanted more from the book because of my interest in Brene Brown's work regarding belonging. I think most of my interest in the book is from sparking the idea that personalities may have some legitimacy. The author was a diffuct person to listen to as a narrator of the audiobook.
February 25, 2024
Chris brings fresh new perspective to the EnneaWorld that seems to only want to make memes about different types. His thoughts are well-researched and “tested” and well communicated. This book is a fascinating deep dive on subtypes, in a completely different way than I’ve experienced before. So much to think about, and I know I’ll revisit this book again and again as I seek to understand myself and those around me with more compassion.
June 2, 2021
I looooved this Enneagram book! It truly is the best one I have read so far. It takes a grand next step into the subtypes of the Enneagram, while building a deeper foundation of the 9 types that most people are familiar with. The language in this book can be lofty, and you must have prior Enneagram knowledge to fully understand it well.
June 14, 2020
I find myself with a much less mystical view of life and truth than Heuertz. His first book was a struggle for me, but under the layers of his complicated language there were some bright spots of wisdom I took with me. So, take my review with these things in perspective.
The title drew me in: “The Enneagram of Belonging: A Compassionate Journey of Self-Acceptance”. Would we dive deeper into how the Enneagram can show us to integrate all pieces of ourselves? Well, a little. But in practice, this book felt mostly like a treatise on as many different Enneagram theories the author could find to tie together. Each time, he then repeated the process quickly for each of the 9 types. I found it hard to connect the little paragraph on my type to the generic intro or to how I viewed/treated/knew myself better.
Personal stories are helpful in Enneagram teaching but as the vast majority featured the author’s own 8 experiences or even tried to relate his dog’s antics to the ways we interact in the world, I rarely connected.
This just wasn’t a book for me. If you enjoyed The Sacred Enneagram, adhere strongly to a mystic/contemplative worldview, and are looking to dive into multiple paths of thought about the Enneagram, then maybe check it out. And then maybe you can explain to me how it also worked for an Enneagram of Belonging that goes beyond the statement that we must accept all the pieces of ourself into how and why and in what different ways that plays out.
The title drew me in: “The Enneagram of Belonging: A Compassionate Journey of Self-Acceptance”. Would we dive deeper into how the Enneagram can show us to integrate all pieces of ourselves? Well, a little. But in practice, this book felt mostly like a treatise on as many different Enneagram theories the author could find to tie together. Each time, he then repeated the process quickly for each of the 9 types. I found it hard to connect the little paragraph on my type to the generic intro or to how I viewed/treated/knew myself better.
Personal stories are helpful in Enneagram teaching but as the vast majority featured the author’s own 8 experiences or even tried to relate his dog’s antics to the ways we interact in the world, I rarely connected.
This just wasn’t a book for me. If you enjoyed The Sacred Enneagram, adhere strongly to a mystic/contemplative worldview, and are looking to dive into multiple paths of thought about the Enneagram, then maybe check it out. And then maybe you can explain to me how it also worked for an Enneagram of Belonging that goes beyond the statement that we must accept all the pieces of ourself into how and why and in what different ways that plays out.
March 17, 2021
This book had some interesting moments, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as some other enneagram books. I did the audio, which was read by the author. I didn’t like the narration. I had to keep going back and relistening to sections so I could understand them better.
April 16, 2021
More in-depth than I was looking for at this stage, but with a lot of valuable information.
December 10, 2021
I loved the introduction and the conclusion. The stuff about dragons was really good. The rest of the book was deep, a little tedious, and for me, serves better as a resource than a book to just read through. Overall, very informative.
August 12, 2022
Would definitely be a DNF if not for book club …
You know it’s bad when the person who suggested it rates it a 2/10 😂
You know it’s bad when the person who suggested it rates it a 2/10 😂
January 12, 2024
3.5 rounded up, some deeper concepts than other more surface level books but also at times overly opaque and confusing in terms of the clarity of the prose especially
November 3, 2024
Wow, wow, wow. Read many books on enneagram over the years but this one is just next level; a great reference book. But more than that, it’s pretty dense - and its richness and writing style is just so pleasurable to read.
February 7, 2023
Hard not to read this one in light of the author’s personal struggles, but it’s there, and frankly, there are better Enneagram books out there for those interested in a deeper dive.
July 9, 2020
I consider myself a bit of an enneagram nerd, and have read lots of books on it. This taught me something new, and is full of fascinating info.
July 19, 2020
Some deep helpful stuff. Some of it was conceptual and difficult to apply practically.
October 5, 2024
3.5 stars
Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews