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The Gift of Forgiveness: Inspiring Stories from Those Who Have Overcome the Unforgivable
A fresh, inspiring book on learning how to forgive--with firsthand stories from those who have learned to let go of resentment and find peace
"When we learn to embrace forgiveness, it opens us up to healing, hope, and a new world of possibility." --Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt
Written with grace and understanding and based on more than twenty in-depth interviews and stories as well as personal reflections from Schwarzenegger Pratt herself, The Gift of Forgiveness is about one of the most difficult challenges in life--learning to forgive. Here, Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt shows us what we can learn from those who have struggled with forgiveness, some still struggling, and others who have been able to forgive what might seem truly unforgivable. The book features experiences from those well-known and unknown, including Elizabeth Smart, who learned to forgive her captors; Sue Klebold, whose son, Dylan, was one of the Columbine shooters, learning empathy and how to forgive herself; Chris Williams, who forgave the drunken teenager who killed his wife and child; and of course Schwarzenegger Pratt's own challenges and path to forgiveness in her own life. All provide different journeys to forgiveness and the process--sometimes slow and thorny, sometimes almost instantaneous--by which they learned to forgive and let go.
The Gift of Forgiveness is a perfect blend of personal insights, powerful quotations, and hard-won wisdom for those seeking a way to live with greater acceptance, grace, and peace.
"When we learn to embrace forgiveness, it opens us up to healing, hope, and a new world of possibility." --Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt
Written with grace and understanding and based on more than twenty in-depth interviews and stories as well as personal reflections from Schwarzenegger Pratt herself, The Gift of Forgiveness is about one of the most difficult challenges in life--learning to forgive. Here, Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt shows us what we can learn from those who have struggled with forgiveness, some still struggling, and others who have been able to forgive what might seem truly unforgivable. The book features experiences from those well-known and unknown, including Elizabeth Smart, who learned to forgive her captors; Sue Klebold, whose son, Dylan, was one of the Columbine shooters, learning empathy and how to forgive herself; Chris Williams, who forgave the drunken teenager who killed his wife and child; and of course Schwarzenegger Pratt's own challenges and path to forgiveness in her own life. All provide different journeys to forgiveness and the process--sometimes slow and thorny, sometimes almost instantaneous--by which they learned to forgive and let go.
The Gift of Forgiveness is a perfect blend of personal insights, powerful quotations, and hard-won wisdom for those seeking a way to live with greater acceptance, grace, and peace.
224 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 10, 2020
744 people are currently reading
7550 people want to read
About the author
Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt
10 books117 followersKatherine Schwarzenegger Pratt is a New York Times best-selling author, animal advocate, daughter, sister, wife and step-mom. As a passionate animal advocate, Katherine works as an Ambassador for Best Friends Animal Society and the ASPCA, lending her time, voice and energy to spread awareness about animal rescue. As an author, Katherine has skillfully translated her own personal experiences into all of her books that speak to her generation.
Her first book, NY Times best seller, Rock What You’ve Got, spoke to young women struggling with self esteem, body image issues and documented Schwarzenegger Pratt’s own personal journey to self-confidence. Her second book, I just Graduated…Now What? offers advice and anecdotes from several well-known people, for young people as they embark on their journey out of college into the real world.
Her third book and her first children’s book, Maverick and Me, is a heartwarming book about the wonders and benefits of pet adoption and chronicles Katherine’s real life experiences with fostering dogs eventually leading to the adoption of her rescue, named Maverick.
Katherine’s latest book, The Gift of Forgiveness, (debuting March 2020), is an inspiring must read for people of all ages, all walks of life, and all spiritual practices. She interviews more than 20 people who have worked hard, and are still working hard, to overcome unforgivable and unimaginable experiences.
Katherine lives with her family in Los Angeles.
Her first book, NY Times best seller, Rock What You’ve Got, spoke to young women struggling with self esteem, body image issues and documented Schwarzenegger Pratt’s own personal journey to self-confidence. Her second book, I just Graduated…Now What? offers advice and anecdotes from several well-known people, for young people as they embark on their journey out of college into the real world.
Her third book and her first children’s book, Maverick and Me, is a heartwarming book about the wonders and benefits of pet adoption and chronicles Katherine’s real life experiences with fostering dogs eventually leading to the adoption of her rescue, named Maverick.
Katherine’s latest book, The Gift of Forgiveness, (debuting March 2020), is an inspiring must read for people of all ages, all walks of life, and all spiritual practices. She interviews more than 20 people who have worked hard, and are still working hard, to overcome unforgivable and unimaginable experiences.
Katherine lives with her family in Los Angeles.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 500 reviews
April 11, 2020
Meh. It wasn't horrible, but the premise was a lot more interesting than the execution.
It read like an 8th grader's personal essay - the author inserted herself into the picture a lot more than I felt was valuable. When you compare a falling out with your friend to the type of forgiveness someone like Elizabeth Smart or a Sandy Hook parent has to contemplate, it's a little much.
I'm not unaware the premise of the book is that the act of forgiveness is deeply personal, but it didn't work for me.
The stories themselves and some of the info gleaned from her interviews was interesting. But a lot of the book was repetitive and kept trying to hit the same points over and over again with a sledgehammer.
It read like an 8th grader's personal essay - the author inserted herself into the picture a lot more than I felt was valuable. When you compare a falling out with your friend to the type of forgiveness someone like Elizabeth Smart or a Sandy Hook parent has to contemplate, it's a little much.
I'm not unaware the premise of the book is that the act of forgiveness is deeply personal, but it didn't work for me.
The stories themselves and some of the info gleaned from her interviews was interesting. But a lot of the book was repetitive and kept trying to hit the same points over and over again with a sledgehammer.
April 7, 2020
This was a super archetypal white woman book, and I guess I shouldn't have expected anything else. Pretty much all of the stories are already publicly known or have been previously published, and are just summarized here. I know the book doesn't conflate forgiveness with condoning, but it isn't really apparent what the message is, other than "forgiveness is important for your well-being." I agree, but I can't read this without thinking of all the people dying right now due to government negligence, or how many black people have died after facing police brutality. Anger is such an important part of living, especially for voices that are systemically silenced. It is so tone deaf to publish something like this comparing playground fights to school shootings, and act like that's a valid response.
July 31, 2020
As much as I have enjoyed Katherine's writing in the past, I was surprised by how much of an impact this book had on me while reading. This is a really wise and helpful book on forgiveness that would be helpful to have at hand through many seasons and circumstances of life.
Through the various personal stories of forgiveness that are shared in this book, it really puts into perspective the grudges that we can hold onto over something so small in comparison. When you read these unbelievable stories and read what these people have gone through, it seems like forgiveness is unfathomable. Yet they have forgiven, some without even thought.
This is a very important and valuable read. I thank the contributors to this book for sharing their incredible stories and I also thank Katherine for realizing the importance of documenting and sharing these stories with the world.
Through the various personal stories of forgiveness that are shared in this book, it really puts into perspective the grudges that we can hold onto over something so small in comparison. When you read these unbelievable stories and read what these people have gone through, it seems like forgiveness is unfathomable. Yet they have forgiven, some without even thought.
This is a very important and valuable read. I thank the contributors to this book for sharing their incredible stories and I also thank Katherine for realizing the importance of documenting and sharing these stories with the world.
April 5, 2020
It really bums me out to give such a low rating. I genuinely wanted to like the book, but I just couldn’t get there. It read like a book report, “What I Learned About Forgiveness;” complete with passages after each interview on her response. Somehow I was left unmoved even with these amazing peoples’ stories to draw from. I hope that if she continues her writing career she’s able to develop a more articulate writing style.
June 4, 2020
Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt speaks with twenty-two people to talk about the power of forgiveness in their lives. All of the people to whom she speaks have suffered extreme violence, pain, devastation, all at the hands of others. How does each person react to the violence, to the devastation? How has each person used forgiveness as a tool to deal with suffering?
No story is the same, and each person's use of forgiveness is different. The forgiveness given to the perpetrators comes in a multitude of forms and shapes, but it is always complex and nuanced.
One of the stories Pratt tells is a story from Rwanda. She tells about the genocide that took place there between the majority group and a minority group. The majority group attempted to kill all of the minority group. Later, another group came into power and the killings halted. There were too many people involved in the killings to send everyone to jail. Instead, a plan was created where the survivors could confront the perpetrators and talk in small local meetings all over the country. The perpetrators were asked to seek forgiveness from the survivors and the survivors were asked to forgive the perpetrators. In large part, the plan was felt to work well across the country.
This book is a fascinating look at forgiveness and its power. I have taken away from this book a new way to think about how to deal with those who hurt us, a powerful tool of healing. While it is not simple, it can be effective.
No story is the same, and each person's use of forgiveness is different. The forgiveness given to the perpetrators comes in a multitude of forms and shapes, but it is always complex and nuanced.
One of the stories Pratt tells is a story from Rwanda. She tells about the genocide that took place there between the majority group and a minority group. The majority group attempted to kill all of the minority group. Later, another group came into power and the killings halted. There were too many people involved in the killings to send everyone to jail. Instead, a plan was created where the survivors could confront the perpetrators and talk in small local meetings all over the country. The perpetrators were asked to seek forgiveness from the survivors and the survivors were asked to forgive the perpetrators. In large part, the plan was felt to work well across the country.
This book is a fascinating look at forgiveness and its power. I have taken away from this book a new way to think about how to deal with those who hurt us, a powerful tool of healing. While it is not simple, it can be effective.
May 24, 2020
Εχετε ΠΡΑΓΜΑΤΙΚΆ κατανοήσει την έννοια της συγχώρεσης? Μήπως για εσάς όπως και για πολλούς ανθρώπους σημαίνει απλά ένα "συγγνώμη", μια λέξη μετά από έναν τσακωμο που υποτίθεται πως απλά πρέπει να εξομαλύνει μια κατάσταση? Εγώ πάντα πίστευα ότι η συγχώρεση ευνοεί τον άνθρωπο που τη ζητά. Ότι ναι μεν χρειάζεται κότσια για να ζητήσεις συγγνώμη και κυρίως να την εννοείς πραγματικά, από την άλλη όμως, ο άλλος που πρέπει να δώσει συγχώρεση είναι σαν υποχρεωμένος να το κάνει. Να υποκλιθεί απέναντι στο θάρρος του ατόμου που έκανε λάθος, αλλά το αναγνώρισε. Και ότι με μια απλή κουβέντα κ αυτός θα πρέπει να λυτρωθει. Ακόμη κι αν δεν το εννοεί πραγματικά. Γιατί το σόι άνθρωπος είσαι εάν δεν δέχεσαι τη συγγνώμη κάποιου? Τελικά, έχοντας την ευκαιρία να διαβάσω αυτό το βιβλίο είχα το χρόνο και την αφορμή να σκεφτώ και να δω τι όντως ισχύει και να καταλήξω οτι η συγχώρεση, είναι κάτι βαθιά προσωπικό και ευνοεί κυρίως αυτόν που συγχωρεί. Συγκεκριμένα, όταν είσαι οργισμένος, λυπημένος, φορτισμένος γενικά, φέρεις ένα τεράστιο βάρος το οποίο όμως δεν είναι δικό σου, είναι του ανθρώπου που στο προκάλεσε, επομένως ποιος ο λόγος να περιφερομαστε στη ζωη κουβαλώντας τα βάρη των άλλων ενώ μπορούμε να συγχωρέσουμε και να αφήσουμε πίσω τα κακώς κείμενα. Είναι απλό αυτό? Όχι, φυσικά και δεν είναι. Το βιβλίο είναι γεμάτο με ιστορίες απλών καθημερινών ανθρώπων που κλήθηκαν να πάρουν σοβαρότατες αποφάσεις όταν κακοποιηθηκαν σεξουαλικα, έχασαν την οικογένεια τους σε αυτοκινητιστικα από μεθυσμένους οδηγούς, προδοθηκαν από άτομα που εμπιστευονταν τυφλά.. Κλήθηκαν να αποφασίσουν αν θα συνεχίσουν τη ζωή τους μέσα στο μίσος και θα καταστραφούν ως την τελευταία τους πνοή, ή θα προχωρήσουν μπροστά κάνοντας στον ΕΑΥΤΌ ΤΟΥΣ το δώρο της συγχώρεσης.Θα μου πείτε, θα μπορούσε ο καθένας να συγχωρέσει τον άνθρωπο που τον βίαζε σε όλη την παιδική του ηλικία? Κομματάκι δύσκολο. Φυσικά, αλλά εκεί ακριβώς έρχεται το αν κατανοούμε ακριβώς τι σημαίνει συγχώρεση και οτι δεν το κάνουμε για τον άλλον, αλλά για να μπορέσουμε εμείς να βάλουμε μια τελεια και να προχωρήσουμε πραγματικά στη ζωή μας.
Επίσης το βιβλίο περιέχει και ιστορίες πιο γνωστών ανθρώπων που προβλήθηκαν κατά καιρούς όπως της χήρας του Τσέστερ Μπενινγκτον από τους Linkin Park, της μητέρας του ενός από τους 2 δολοφόνους που σκορπισαν το θάνατο όταν εισέβαλαν στο σχολείο τους ένοπλοι το 1999 στο Κολοράντο, του γιου του διαβόητου Πάμπλο Εσκομπαρ και πολλών άλλων.
Ήταν ένα βιβλίο που πραγματικά μου έδωσε πολλά να σκεφτώ και μου άνοιξε ένα κομμάτι μου που ήταν προσανατολισμενο πολύ λάθος. Απλό, ευκολοδιαβαστο, αλλά βαθύτατα συγκινητικό και ουσιαστικό.
Επίσης το βιβλίο περιέχει και ιστορίες πιο γνωστών ανθρώπων που προβλήθηκαν κατά καιρούς όπως της χήρας του Τσέστερ Μπενινγκτον από τους Linkin Park, της μητέρας του ενός από τους 2 δολοφόνους που σκορπισαν το θάνατο όταν εισέβαλαν στο σχολείο τους ένοπλοι το 1999 στο Κολοράντο, του γιου του διαβόητου Πάμπλο Εσκομπαρ και πολλών άλλων.
Ήταν ένα βιβλίο που πραγματικά μου έδωσε πολλά να σκεφτώ και μου άνοιξε ένα κομμάτι μου που ήταν προσανατολισμενο πολύ λάθος. Απλό, ευκολοδιαβαστο, αλλά βαθύτατα συγκινητικό και ουσιαστικό.
March 27, 2020
I enjoyed several of the emotional stories of forgiveness the author presented. Three stories really moved me: Ron Hall, Immaculee and Adel...wow! I think forgiveness is very personal and this book missed the mark for me. While I appreciate the authors attempt, I found this repetitive and filled with obvious advice. Her synopsis at the end of each story felt disingenuous. I felt her insights were a bit contrived and her thoughts were poorly written.
May 27, 2020
This is not a one size fits all approach to forgiveness and moving forward. All the stories are real, relatable, inspiring and very moving. This is the type of book you want to savor, then pass on.
September 20, 2022
This collection of personal essays on forgiveness provided some incredible strength and light from people who truly suffered unimaginable loss. And throughout, there is a repetitive undercurrent that forgiveness is a gift that we give ourselves in order to heal and continue living onward. While I wish that the author had interviewed some ordinary, “non-famous” people, the contributors’ stories bore repeating in a world where movement to forgive could greatly help to heal so many divisions.
October 23, 2021
I won The Gift Of Forgiveness by @katherineschwarzenegger in a giveaway organized by @booksparks . This book isn’t written in a way most self help books are written where they’ll define the problem, give advice, find solutions, provide exercise and so on. This book draws inspiration from real life and those who found that forgiveness was the option.
@katherineschwarzenegger provides a glimpse of her own journey of forgiveness and has shared several stories of people from different walks of life, who have faced devastating experiences, that changed their life altogether.
The book has compiled all their stories where the people have shared their own experiences and how they found forgiveness is the best solution. The stories are drawn from both the receiving and giving end. This gives the reader a clear understanding of both the sides.
@katherineschwarzenegger provides a glimpse of her own journey of forgiveness and has shared several stories of people from different walks of life, who have faced devastating experiences, that changed their life altogether.
The book has compiled all their stories where the people have shared their own experiences and how they found forgiveness is the best solution. The stories are drawn from both the receiving and giving end. This gives the reader a clear understanding of both the sides.
December 13, 2020
Audiobook. What trite drivel this is with too much god in it. Don't look to Pratt's book to learn how to forgive or begin the process of forgiveness. You'll just get a bunch of stories from people and how they forgave. At the end of each story, Pratt adds her evaluation of that person's process of forgiveness and tries to relate it to her life.
One thing that really bugged me is that she opened the book telling us about her best friend doing something terrible to her and how she wasn't able to forgive her for a long time. Yet Pratt didn't ever tell us what that something terrible was. How can you have a book, where people bare their souls and tell them about rape, genocide, molestation, murdered family members etc. - and you won't tell us what your best friend did to you?
One thing that really bugged me is that she opened the book telling us about her best friend doing something terrible to her and how she wasn't able to forgive her for a long time. Yet Pratt didn't ever tell us what that something terrible was. How can you have a book, where people bare their souls and tell them about rape, genocide, molestation, murdered family members etc. - and you won't tell us what your best friend did to you?
June 21, 2024
2 stars simply for the fact that the people highlighted in this book chose not to let their pain consume them. Other than that this book is the definition of bad theology. So much self love and forgive yourself being thrown around.
Obviously there will be those who think my review is harsh. Isn’t it good enough these people have overcome horrendous circumstances by choosing to forgive? I’m certainly grateful for their choice but true forgiveness can only occur within the context of understanding God’s forgiveness. God, the Creator of the universe, the One True, Living God, the Father of the Savior Jesus Christ. I pray
Obviously there will be those who think my review is harsh. Isn’t it good enough these people have overcome horrendous circumstances by choosing to forgive? I’m certainly grateful for their choice but true forgiveness can only occur within the context of understanding God’s forgiveness. God, the Creator of the universe, the One True, Living God, the Father of the Savior Jesus Christ. I pray
June 5, 2020
I have very mixed feelings about this book. First, I should note that this book is about the mostly secular process of forgiveness, not traditional biblical forgiveness. A few of the stories are about people who have relied on faith and the biblical process of forgiveness, but they are in the minority in this volume. That was disappointing to me since I know I need to work through some forgiveness issues, and I cannot do that apart from my relationship with Christ.
Having said all of that, I was particularly moved by a couple of the stories in this book about people who were abused by members in a church or in an organized system such as the Catholic Church. Their stories of forgiveness and their advocacy to try to prevent this abuse for other children inspired me and encouraged me. I was also encouraged and really helped by the story of a woman living in Rwanda Who needed to forgive the people who killed her entire family during genocide in 1994. Of all the stories in the book, that is the one that helped me most. Each of the stories had some ideas to share and things to think about. Maybe I will find some of these helpful over time as I progress in my own forgiveness journey.
Having said all of that, I was particularly moved by a couple of the stories in this book about people who were abused by members in a church or in an organized system such as the Catholic Church. Their stories of forgiveness and their advocacy to try to prevent this abuse for other children inspired me and encouraged me. I was also encouraged and really helped by the story of a woman living in Rwanda Who needed to forgive the people who killed her entire family during genocide in 1994. Of all the stories in the book, that is the one that helped me most. Each of the stories had some ideas to share and things to think about. Maybe I will find some of these helpful over time as I progress in my own forgiveness journey.
March 24, 2020
Most of us probably have an inconsistent relationship with the capacity to forgive. For many, it can be a life-long process. The grace that comes with forgiveness is lovingly detailed in Schwarzenegger-Pratt’s new book. From victims of sexual trauma or ethnic violence to the kidnapping of Elizabeth Smart and Sandy Hook Mom Scarlett Lewis, the book contains interviews and stories from everyday folks and household names. The author draws bite-sized conclusions that allow us to see the potential to detach the anvil of resentment and anger that can pulverize a soul. Gift this book or leave it by your bed to remind yourself good people exist in our imperfect world.
January 3, 2020
I won this book in a giveaway.
The personal stories of forgiveness in this book are pretty incredible and inspiring. I would have liked to have seen more commentary from the author with some suggestions about how to implement the forgiveness process, but the stories illustrate clearly that it can be done in the most difficult circumstances.
I really enjoyed reading these stories. The diversity of the persons and situations presented should appeal to a wide audience and is organized well. I'm grateful that I got to read this.
The personal stories of forgiveness in this book are pretty incredible and inspiring. I would have liked to have seen more commentary from the author with some suggestions about how to implement the forgiveness process, but the stories illustrate clearly that it can be done in the most difficult circumstances.
I really enjoyed reading these stories. The diversity of the persons and situations presented should appeal to a wide audience and is organized well. I'm grateful that I got to read this.
May 22, 2020
Okay I didn't realize that this is the Katherine that's married to Chris Pratt, and eldest daughter of
Arnold Schwarzenegger whaaaaaaat lol
I enjoyed this book, but I felt that it would have been better as a podcast or journal or something not really a novel, but doesn't really matter. I just couldn't read too much in a day because then it was kinda boring over and over again relaying the same message. Which is fine, the book is very focused on forgiveness and that's what the title is, fair enough.
This book is a bunch of stories of people who have forgiven others in seemingly unforgivable circumstances and chose to love themselves rather than to burden themselves with hate and anger. Whether that be vocal forgiveness, or just inside, and whether it be forgiveness of others or themselves.
She has some widely known people in the book confessing their stories of forgiveness, what it means to them, how they got to forgiveness and how they cope with it.
I was so shocked when she talks about Chester Bennington from Linkin Park and about the forgiveness from his wife and children for committing suicide. Chester was such an amazing person and I was so sad that he passed, but I never really thought of his family. His wife was upset at first, she felt he betrayed their marriage and was a coward but then he empathized with his condition, and through that she learned to forgive.
The biggest message is that you need to learn how to forgive and let things go. Don't hold onto hate and anger because that's only hurting yourself. Just accept others as they are, not for what you want them to be or what you believe is right or wrong. You need to empathize with where they're coming from and how they were raised and their logic. Empathy makes forgiveness much easier. Kids are so great at forgiveness, and then we grow up and it's like we don't want people to walk all over us so we take a stubborn stand. We grow up and form this ego that we have to protect. But by not forgiving we are not protecting ourselves. We feel like holding grudges on people will change them, change them to be more like us, make them learn a lesson we feel they need to learn. But that's not what life is about and they probably won't change no matter what you do, that's not in your control.
Arnold Schwarzenegger whaaaaaaat lol
I enjoyed this book, but I felt that it would have been better as a podcast or journal or something not really a novel, but doesn't really matter. I just couldn't read too much in a day because then it was kinda boring over and over again relaying the same message. Which is fine, the book is very focused on forgiveness and that's what the title is, fair enough.
This book is a bunch of stories of people who have forgiven others in seemingly unforgivable circumstances and chose to love themselves rather than to burden themselves with hate and anger. Whether that be vocal forgiveness, or just inside, and whether it be forgiveness of others or themselves.
She has some widely known people in the book confessing their stories of forgiveness, what it means to them, how they got to forgiveness and how they cope with it.
I was so shocked when she talks about Chester Bennington from Linkin Park and about the forgiveness from his wife and children for committing suicide. Chester was such an amazing person and I was so sad that he passed, but I never really thought of his family. His wife was upset at first, she felt he betrayed their marriage and was a coward but then he empathized with his condition, and through that she learned to forgive.
The biggest message is that you need to learn how to forgive and let things go. Don't hold onto hate and anger because that's only hurting yourself. Just accept others as they are, not for what you want them to be or what you believe is right or wrong. You need to empathize with where they're coming from and how they were raised and their logic. Empathy makes forgiveness much easier. Kids are so great at forgiveness, and then we grow up and it's like we don't want people to walk all over us so we take a stubborn stand. We grow up and form this ego that we have to protect. But by not forgiving we are not protecting ourselves. We feel like holding grudges on people will change them, change them to be more like us, make them learn a lesson we feel they need to learn. But that's not what life is about and they probably won't change no matter what you do, that's not in your control.
April 1, 2020
The stories are some of the most known from the news but the twist of forgiveness within them is inspiring. Katherine does a good job of highlighting different ways to forgive and that it comes in many ways. The main disappointment is she uses a riff with a childhood friend as her catalyst for writing the book where as we all know her relationship with her father should have been touched on.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 15, 2020
I wanted to like this book, but it was not what I was expecting. I thought the stories would be more like interviews, but instead it is the author giving background with a couple of quotes added from the subject. I thought it would be more of an "in their own words" story of how forgiveness was different for everyone. Instead it's boiled down and the author's opinion on how forgiveness looks for that person.
September 22, 2022
Even though I didn’t learn anything new, I will pass this book on to someone in need.
It could be a good resource for a teenager or a young adult who has unresolved anger (hurt/fear) over past trauma. However, someone would have to explain more than this book supplies.
It could be a good resource for a teenager or a young adult who has unresolved anger (hurt/fear) over past trauma. However, someone would have to explain more than this book supplies.
June 7, 2020
My local library opened back up this week and this book caught my eye. It's a topic that's been on my mind and I'm so glad I picked it up. It's a collection of interviews with people that have been able to move on and forgive after experiencing awful, traumatic things. Elizabeth Smart, Chris Williams, Immaculee Ilibagiza and Sue Klebold to name a few of the more well-known stories.
The stories in this book are incredibly inspiring and positive in spite of their tragic nature. (Note: a couple of the accounts contain brief, yet graphic descriptions of abuse.) Each interview focuses on how the person got past pain, anger, resentment and moved forward. The unique circumstances and individualized path forward for each person highlights the multi-faceted nature of forgiveness. I'm so glad I read this. It provided some much-needed perspective and I'd like to share a few take-aways:
Forgiveness is a gift we give mostly to ourselves (as well as others). It's a process of letting go. It's a choice we make and remake throughout our lives. The heart of forgiveness is compassion. The end result is gratitude. It happens at a personal pace and cannot be rushed. It comes in stages. Sometimes we have to repeat the process. It's a way to regain control of our actions regardless of the actions of others. It's a way to separate the hurt from an actual person. Forgiveness is different for everyone. True forgiveness sets us free. It helps us reclaim our strength and alleviate our burdens. We should be kind to ourselves and others during the healing process. It is possible.
Forgiveness is not always a two-way street. It's not a pardon of behavior. It's not a reconciliation that allows hurtful people back in. It does not excuse us for own role in events. It's usually not a one-time deal. It's not meant to be offered in superiority or condescension.
I noticed that many of the people in this book were able to re-calibrate their negative emotions and experiences and turn them into positive action. Many ran for political office or began community programs that supported a related cause. Many of them were grateful to have experienced hardships that provided the fuel and motivation for their new cause and purpose. I have a lot of admiration for people who are able to move forward in such a healthy, positive way that inspires others to do the same.
Some of the accounts highlight God as a source of comfort, peace and tutelage in the process of forgiveness. As a Christian myself, I believe God and Jesus Christ serve as the primary exemplars of all virtues. While I was reading this I remembered that we sometimes have experiences that back us up against the wall of faith and these difficulties allow us the opportunity to put our beliefs into practice. It's easy to believe in word and quite another to believe (and then act) in deed. Another miraculous part of this process is we take one small step in the direction of compassion and Christ's grace truly transcends the gap and gives us an ability to forgive beyond our own.
An amazing, timely reminder for me and highly recommended for anyone needing the same reminder or reset.
The stories in this book are incredibly inspiring and positive in spite of their tragic nature. (Note: a couple of the accounts contain brief, yet graphic descriptions of abuse.) Each interview focuses on how the person got past pain, anger, resentment and moved forward. The unique circumstances and individualized path forward for each person highlights the multi-faceted nature of forgiveness. I'm so glad I read this. It provided some much-needed perspective and I'd like to share a few take-aways:
Forgiveness is a gift we give mostly to ourselves (as well as others). It's a process of letting go. It's a choice we make and remake throughout our lives. The heart of forgiveness is compassion. The end result is gratitude. It happens at a personal pace and cannot be rushed. It comes in stages. Sometimes we have to repeat the process. It's a way to regain control of our actions regardless of the actions of others. It's a way to separate the hurt from an actual person. Forgiveness is different for everyone. True forgiveness sets us free. It helps us reclaim our strength and alleviate our burdens. We should be kind to ourselves and others during the healing process. It is possible.
Forgiveness is not always a two-way street. It's not a pardon of behavior. It's not a reconciliation that allows hurtful people back in. It does not excuse us for own role in events. It's usually not a one-time deal. It's not meant to be offered in superiority or condescension.
I noticed that many of the people in this book were able to re-calibrate their negative emotions and experiences and turn them into positive action. Many ran for political office or began community programs that supported a related cause. Many of them were grateful to have experienced hardships that provided the fuel and motivation for their new cause and purpose. I have a lot of admiration for people who are able to move forward in such a healthy, positive way that inspires others to do the same.
Some of the accounts highlight God as a source of comfort, peace and tutelage in the process of forgiveness. As a Christian myself, I believe God and Jesus Christ serve as the primary exemplars of all virtues. While I was reading this I remembered that we sometimes have experiences that back us up against the wall of faith and these difficulties allow us the opportunity to put our beliefs into practice. It's easy to believe in word and quite another to believe (and then act) in deed. Another miraculous part of this process is we take one small step in the direction of compassion and Christ's grace truly transcends the gap and gives us an ability to forgive beyond our own.
An amazing, timely reminder for me and highly recommended for anyone needing the same reminder or reset.
August 13, 2020
"Honey, you seem a little down, are you ok?", my husband of 30 years asked me last night at the dinner table. If you knew me, you would know that I am usually a Chatty Cathy- talking my husband up about each and every aspect of my pretty normal and unexciting day. Last night, I was not down at all, just quiet, and pensive as I had read some of the last chapters of Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt's latest book The Gift of Forgiveness: Inspiring Stories from Those Who Have Overcome the Unforgivable. I found myself lost in thought about the different stories that I had read of different folk's journeys of forgiveness of people in their lives who had done some pretty unforgivable things. I found it to be incredibly inspiring and very, very thought provoking. I don't think anyone can read this book without thinking things like "If Scarlett Lewis could forgive the person who killed her little boy at Sandy Hook elementary, how can I not forgive the person in my life who has done something much more insignificant than that to me?" To get inside someone else's head as they have walked through these difficult situations just creates more empathy and more of a willingness to let go and forgive.
When reading the book, there will be many names and situations and stories that are recognizable, news headlines, so we have heard them, but getting to walk a little bit with these people in seeing how they forgave these different situations really spoke to me. And sometimes it really hurt my heart to see how the folks in this book had to endure such scrutiny, judgement and people that just didn't understand their situation and yet they forgave the critics anyway. It begged the question- When have I judged others without knowing all the facts, and other questions as well like- Who do I need to forgive?
When a book makes me speechless at the dinner table , it means it has really impacted me :) and giving me much to process and think about and bring into my own life. Thank you Katherine, for writing such a book to make me stop and take stock and just know that now, the talking has resumed as I share with my husband and others some of the profoundly moving stories in this book. I got this from my public library, but will be purchasing this one as I'd love to re-read it as well as share with others.
5 stars.
When reading the book, there will be many names and situations and stories that are recognizable, news headlines, so we have heard them, but getting to walk a little bit with these people in seeing how they forgave these different situations really spoke to me. And sometimes it really hurt my heart to see how the folks in this book had to endure such scrutiny, judgement and people that just didn't understand their situation and yet they forgave the critics anyway. It begged the question- When have I judged others without knowing all the facts, and other questions as well like- Who do I need to forgive?
When a book makes me speechless at the dinner table , it means it has really impacted me :) and giving me much to process and think about and bring into my own life. Thank you Katherine, for writing such a book to make me stop and take stock and just know that now, the talking has resumed as I share with my husband and others some of the profoundly moving stories in this book. I got this from my public library, but will be purchasing this one as I'd love to re-read it as well as share with others.
5 stars.
December 4, 2021
Reads more like an essay, so I wasn’t loving the format. However, the stories in this book were moving and just extremely courageous to be told. This book definitely made me pause to think about forgiveness in my own life, so overall I would recommend this as there is great material to learn from.
July 1, 2020
I would rate this book a 3.5.
October 15, 2021
Incredible and brave stories, this audiobook read by the author is perfect for anyone dealing with trauma and embracing the practice of forgiveness.
April 24, 2020
Book 34 of 2020
I absolutely loved the idea of exploring stories about forgiveness. Forgiveness is such a powerful thing, and there are so many people who have gone through incomprehensible ordeals, and I was excited to see how Schwarzenegger-Pratt shared those unbelievable stories. But sadly, the idea for this book was much better than the execution.
There were two stories that stood out to me as amazing stories of overcoming the unforgivable, and that was the the mother who lost her son in the Sandy Hook shooting and the other is of Pablo Escobar's son. Both of these stories, to me, dealt with the true essence of forgiveness. They were both in unthinkable situations, where you could look at them and say "I understand why you haven't forgiven that person for those acts." But how they embraced true, Godly forgiveness and turned their tragedy into something extraordinary, like sharing grace, mercy and the power of redemption, was truly powerful.
For me, my personal faith in God is the anchor to understanding the concept of forgiveness. You cannot truly understand what godly forgiveness looks like until you understand the grace, mercy and redemptive forgiveness given to you by God, our Heavenly Father and Creator. Until we accept that the only way we are allowed to share forgiveness is because HE forgave us first, you are lacking a major component to carrying out forgiveness.
In that light, so many of the stories shared in this book did not actually practice forgiveness. To me, "letting go" of the past is NOT the same as forgiveness. "Moving on" from tragedy does not embrace the power of true forgiveness, which is at the root of healing. I also feel that someone cannot "move on" from a tragedy in their life, no matter what that tragedy is -- the loss of someone close, the grief and pain that comes with death; tragedy in the form of abuse or neglect, a heinous crime, etc. You do not "move on" from those things because they are a defining part of your life. Instead, you learn to "move forward" WITH them. You move forward with those new pieces in your life, and hopefully, you have found grace, mercy, forgiveness and redemption in your life to be able to move forward wholly and completely.
I was even more disappointed that one of the stories shared in the book had a mother saying that forgiveness isn't even something she does, not something she accepts or even believes in. She talked about forgiving herself, but didn't feel that others should be "granting" forgiveness because that only comes from the righteous, and that is not something she allows in her life. That made me incredible sad and hurt for that person, because to me it shows a lot of signs of pain at their core.
There were a few stories -- too many, for my taste -- about forgiving one's self. I do believe that we are hard on ourselves, and we need to have a full understanding of grace in that situation. There are times we need to forgive ourselves, but again, the root of that comes from God giving us forgiveness, which He does if we come to Him in earnest. Otherwise, we need to show ourselves grace, and I believe there is a difference there.
Overall, a few stories were awesome, but that was only 1/4 of the book. The other 3/4 had me frustrated and sad. I don't want to blame the people that shared them, because it was their own story so I am not going to judge them on that. But I am most disappointed in Schwarzenegger-Pratt for not giving me more MEAT on the forgiveness stories. Most of these stories have been publicized in other places, and didn't get to root of forgiveness, especially in the context of "overcoming the unforgivable."
Format -- audiobook
Rating -- three stars
I absolutely loved the idea of exploring stories about forgiveness. Forgiveness is such a powerful thing, and there are so many people who have gone through incomprehensible ordeals, and I was excited to see how Schwarzenegger-Pratt shared those unbelievable stories. But sadly, the idea for this book was much better than the execution.
There were two stories that stood out to me as amazing stories of overcoming the unforgivable, and that was the the mother who lost her son in the Sandy Hook shooting and the other is of Pablo Escobar's son. Both of these stories, to me, dealt with the true essence of forgiveness. They were both in unthinkable situations, where you could look at them and say "I understand why you haven't forgiven that person for those acts." But how they embraced true, Godly forgiveness and turned their tragedy into something extraordinary, like sharing grace, mercy and the power of redemption, was truly powerful.
For me, my personal faith in God is the anchor to understanding the concept of forgiveness. You cannot truly understand what godly forgiveness looks like until you understand the grace, mercy and redemptive forgiveness given to you by God, our Heavenly Father and Creator. Until we accept that the only way we are allowed to share forgiveness is because HE forgave us first, you are lacking a major component to carrying out forgiveness.
In that light, so many of the stories shared in this book did not actually practice forgiveness. To me, "letting go" of the past is NOT the same as forgiveness. "Moving on" from tragedy does not embrace the power of true forgiveness, which is at the root of healing. I also feel that someone cannot "move on" from a tragedy in their life, no matter what that tragedy is -- the loss of someone close, the grief and pain that comes with death; tragedy in the form of abuse or neglect, a heinous crime, etc. You do not "move on" from those things because they are a defining part of your life. Instead, you learn to "move forward" WITH them. You move forward with those new pieces in your life, and hopefully, you have found grace, mercy, forgiveness and redemption in your life to be able to move forward wholly and completely.
I was even more disappointed that one of the stories shared in the book had a mother saying that forgiveness isn't even something she does, not something she accepts or even believes in. She talked about forgiving herself, but didn't feel that others should be "granting" forgiveness because that only comes from the righteous, and that is not something she allows in her life. That made me incredible sad and hurt for that person, because to me it shows a lot of signs of pain at their core.
There were a few stories -- too many, for my taste -- about forgiving one's self. I do believe that we are hard on ourselves, and we need to have a full understanding of grace in that situation. There are times we need to forgive ourselves, but again, the root of that comes from God giving us forgiveness, which He does if we come to Him in earnest. Otherwise, we need to show ourselves grace, and I believe there is a difference there.
Overall, a few stories were awesome, but that was only 1/4 of the book. The other 3/4 had me frustrated and sad. I don't want to blame the people that shared them, because it was their own story so I am not going to judge them on that. But I am most disappointed in Schwarzenegger-Pratt for not giving me more MEAT on the forgiveness stories. Most of these stories have been publicized in other places, and didn't get to root of forgiveness, especially in the context of "overcoming the unforgivable."
Format -- audiobook
Rating -- three stars
May 5, 2020
Great topic to make a book about, totally relevant to most, if not all people. The examples used are world class. This is a much needed book, especially in our day. Content wise this book almost makes it, unfortunately I found it lacked cohesion and consistency. The book simply jumps from one anecdote to another with only superficial insight from the author. I would have appreciated more of the author's input or expert analysis to shine the spotlight on the takeaway lessons that each example is supposed to teach the reader,and to me as a reader I feel like this book is incomplete
June 17, 2020
An inspiring and uplifting short book that highlights twenty people who chose to forgive seemingly unforgivable offenses. From highly publicized stories, such as Amy Smart (who forgave her abusive captors) and Sue Klebold (mother of one of the Columbine shooters) to lesser known people like a father who forgave the drunk teen who killed his wife and child and a young girl who forgave her family's murderers during the Rwandan genocide. Each person had a myriad of reasons to cling to unforgiveness, resentment, self-pity, and even hate. Most of the stories were heartbreaking, but the book itself was incredibly hopeful. Katherine did a great job compiling and sharing these stories, all of which were diverse enough to be relatable to a wide audience of readers, while also explaining how she worked through her own journey of forgiveness. This was not an overtly Christian book, though Katherine and other people in the book cited their Catholic faith as the catalyst and source of their forgiveness, which I found very interesting and applicable since my Christian faith has been the reasons I have been able to forgive difficult offenses as well.
Rating: PG (not overly descriptive but mentions different types of abuse and violence)
Rating: PG (not overly descriptive but mentions different types of abuse and violence)
May 2, 2020
I don’t know. I’m torn. I think stories like these, of hope and reconciliation need to be shared and remembered. I’m a fan of forgiveness and grace and letting go of the things that weigh us down. But her writing makes it seem easy. “...then suddenly one day she decided to forgive him and they lived happily ever after.” Her writing is basic and broadly summarizes each story, simplifying and minimizing the pain that the victims needed to go through before/during/after reaching their places of forgiveness. Not to mention that many times, forgiveness is a continuous decision, a process...not a moment that comes over you and you are healed forever. So...I’m glad I read it, but it left me with more unresolved feelings and questions than before I started.
April 11, 2020
This is a beautifully written book about how many people in horrible situations have been able to move forward in their lives through forgiveness. The book is very thought provoking and asks you to consider forgiveness. Everyone should read this book.
May 19, 2020
Goodreads Giveaway!
This book was sweet and I thought the individuals' stories were impressive. It was a bit much for me to read such sad stories one after another, and the author's commentary felt a bit repetitive. But overall, it was inspiring and a good read.
This book was sweet and I thought the individuals' stories were impressive. It was a bit much for me to read such sad stories one after another, and the author's commentary felt a bit repetitive. But overall, it was inspiring and a good read.
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