You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant: 101 Real Dumb Laws

by Jeff Koon, Ward Schumaker

You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant is a collection of the 101 dumbest real federal, city, and state laws in America, compiled by Jeff Koon and Andy Powell, a couple of high school seniors with a Web site visited by hundreds of thousands of browsers every month. These laws will astonish, possibly outrage, and certainly amuse citizens everywhere.

Here you will learn that forgetting to close a gate is against the law in Nevada; that flying a kite is illegal in Schaumburg, Illinois; and that shaking carpets in the street in Cambridge, Massachusetts, is strictly forbidden. You probably haven't tried cutting off your arm to make people feel sorry for you -- but if you live in Alabama, it is against the law. Many Texans will be surprised to learn that their hoes must be no less than four feet long.

Perhaps more disturbingly, Indianans will be forced to recognize that being sexually aroused in public could get them arrested. With so many potential legal pitfalls around us all, it is comforting, finally, to learn in these pages that, in Alaska, the people who make laws have sagely concluded that emergencies are "held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist."

This hilarious compilation features forty-six original illustrations by award-winning artist Ward Schumaker that brilliantly capture the absurdity of so many of our laws with a light and elegant touch.

WARNING
These laws, all verified by the authors and presented along with a reference to the corresponding federal, state, or city statute, may cause readers to lose any desire to pursue a career in law.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, History

160 pages, Hardcover

First published June 4, 2002

Reviews

[Christyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was filled with "dumb laws" with cited sources (and the actual text of the law) as well as illustrations, separated by section - People, Animals, Things. That's pretty much it - there was some accompanying text by the authors on some of the pages but nothing behind the Why's? There is no background information to the laws which I was curious about. Don't get me wrong some of the laws are pretty amusing, but I wanted to know the why behind them because some were just downright puzzling - I mean did someone actually do the thing mentioned to get it put down as a law? (ex. "In Wisconsin, X-Ray Machine's may not be used to fit shoes" or "In Massachusetts it is illegal to wear stilts while working on a construction site." or "Persons may not use pogo sticks on a city bus in Fairfax County, Virginia" - Did people actually do these things before it was "outlawed"?).

Overall, it was mildly amusing but not as funny as I thought it was - though there were some that were funny to think about after reading. I will leave you with a few notable laws:

"In Oregon it is illegal to pump your own gas unless you own the dispensing device and are properly trained." ( - Why did I choose this? - because we took a trip to Oregon last year and I noticed there was an attendant at each gas station that pumped our gas for us)

"In South Carolina every year before Halloween, all schoolchildren must be taught not to drink alcohol." (Because alcohol is totally a normal association with children and Halloween, right?).

"Eavesdropping on your own conversation is a felony in Illinois." (Note to self - don't do this [talk to self] in Illinois).

[Robert Federline · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book has an appealing title, but may not be the ideal suggestion for a lawyer. Lawyer's tend to analyze laws constantly and to parse language. They can find reason for the existence of many of these so-called "dumb" laws. The "interpretations" offered by the authors frequently extend to the extreme and absurd, and are usually not the intended result of the various legislatures who passed these Acts.

That said, there are still, in fact, dumb laws on the books. Some may be the result of the tmes (e.g., changing technology, such as the switch from literal horsepower to the internal combustion engine) or lobbying for special interests) They are not usually so interesting, however, as to make for good reading. When my children were little, if they could not sleep, I would read to them from my law books. Those books contained perfectly good laws, enacted for a variety of good reasons, and they could still bore one to sleep.

This collection is much more amusing for someone not well-versed in legalese and the harms which laws were passed to remedy.

[Geo Hendrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good laugh. My son and I enjoyed our Sunday Afternoon Laughing!

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not very long. Glad I only paid £1 for it rather than its RRP of £8.99. Some of the laws seemed quite sensible.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fun

[Brooke · Rating 2 out of 5]

I mean yeah, dumb laws. Interesting but literally just the laws with minimal explanation. I did like how 2 high school students started this concept though.

[Marsha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a “humor” pocketbook, the kind of book that you refer to at times when you want to make diverting dinner conversation. While the entries in it have the ring of truth, they are rarely backed up with anything like informative background. Yes, it’s mildly funny to learn that it’s illegal to play Frisbee on a beach in Galveston, TX, but you naturally wonder “Why?” There’s no clue given or historical reason; the bald fact of the law is laid before you and that’s that.

The book also suffers from the lack of sex laws, i.e., laws that were written banning certain kinds of sexual activity. I’m not talking about obvious sex crimes like rape, child molestation or harassment. I’m talking about laws that forbid fornication, adultery, cunnilingus and fellatio, et al. Nothing is more risible a subject than naughty talk about sex and this book has none of that (there’s a law against molesting a butterfly but it’s not what you think).

All in all, a tepid book that’s amusing in spots but nothing truly chuckle worthy. (The sticky fingered will be happy to know that you can’t be arrested on the Fourth of July in North Dakota, otherwise known as “Five Finger Discount Day”.)

[Rena Sherwood · Rating 2 out of 5]

While reading You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant: 101 Real Dumb Laws you discover that there is no such law and never has been such a law. The authors made it up because they thought it was a cool title for their book chronicling (mostly) active nonsensical laws in America.

And that's the problem with this book -- good idea, cute title for a nonfiction book that just happens to be fiction rather than fact. Most of the book seems to be taken up with the story of how the high school website owners got themselves a cushy book deal rather than listing the laws that got them the book deal in the first place. If they have a website full of such laws, why are only a fraction published here? Or perhaps they have a really small website?

In the end of this short and ultimately boring book (it's only the illustrations that kept me from completely nodding off) you want the federal government to pass a law banning these authors from getting published ever again.

[Hope · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of laws from around the country that are in some way dumb or ridiculous. Some of these were genuinely funny, but I found that many of them were made by extrapolation, or that many had real, not ridiculous, explanations as to why the law existed. Overall, it was a quick and mostly enjoyable read.

[Theresa F. · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was mildly amusing, in my opinion. I will say that the writing and the format are probably best suited to readers with a strong interest in the law, as opposed to casual readers just looking for a good laugh.
Did I like it? It was okay.
Would I reread it? No.
Would I recommend it? That would depend on the reader.

[Marylu Sanok · Rating 3 out of 5]

silly laws

[Ingmar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked that contrary to most similar "dumb laws" books this one actually cites sources as well as the actual text.

[Melissa McLees · Rating 5 out of 5]

These are some really interesting and unbelievable laws that have been passed.

[Luann · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dumb laws are created for dumb people.

[Reginald Holder]

I didn't know there were such laws in America. 0_o

[Sheila Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

A hilarious look at laws that are still on the books of various states that will leave you wondering why they were ever needed in the first place.

[Annburnett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny and entertaining book about ridiculous laws on the books in many states. It is just so funny.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was not to bad of a book but it really wasn't that funny after all

[Noora · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ei yhtä hauska kuin potilaskertomuskirja, mutta naurattava silti.